Tear Filled Trails of Blood
by Night's Darkness
Summary: Owen and Ianto never get along. The others think its just for stupid reasons. But the boys know better. They know exactly why they don't get along, and they refuse to change it. But now their secrets have put the whole team's future in jeopardy.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Tear-Filled Trails of Blood  
Fandom: Torchwood  
Rating: PG-PG13  
Info: This is a story bred from the plotbunny of estarcollector based on the idea of Owen and Ianto being brothers. This is my take on the idea. Expect much cuteness and angst from the boys.  
Summary: Owen and Ianto never get along. The others think its just for stupid reasons. But the boys know better. They know exactly why they don't get along, and they refuse to change it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the known characters. All OC's are mine though.

**Chapter 1**

_(Present)_

"Owen, could you be anymore of a slob?"

"Oh piss off Ianto! I don't need you nagging me like my mum." snarled Owen, glaring up at Ianto who glared back, fists clenched at his side.

"You know, sometimes I feel like that's what you see me as."

"You're way uglier than my mum."

"I am not here to pick up after you like your slave. I have better things to be doing than clearing up your shit."

"Yeah, like what? Making coffee? More filing? Big deal. See, I'm a doctor and-"

"Enough!"

Ianto and Owen both jumped as Jack came striding over to them, looking irritated. "I do not want to hear another word out of either of you. It's seems like every other day you two are fighting. Ianto, no one's making you clear up after Owen except yourself and Owen if I hear you try to lord it over Ianto with the 'I'm a doctor' crap I will lock you in Janet's cell and see how well that holds up there."

Owen snorted, glaring between Ianto and Jack, "Figures you'd favour him."

"I'm not favouring anyone. It's not good for the team if you two are always fighting, and, quite frankly, I am sick of it. I swear, you'd think you two were related the way you're always arguing."

"Oh, could you imagine how bad they'd be if they were brothers?" giggled Gwen. Tosh pulled a face.

Owen's jaw tightened, "Yeah, well I was an only kid. No brats to bug me."

Ianto's eyes narrowed a little, "So was I. No bastard older brothers to kick me around."

Jack looked between the two of them and rolled his eyes, "Enough barbs and jabs. Ianto, I need the files on this list and Owen, I want you to continue with your study of Janet and her telepathy."

"Yes sir." Ianto took the list from Jack's hand and stalked away.

"Whatever." growled Owen and he got to his feet with the grace of a rhino and stomped off, muttering to himself as he went. Jack sighed and shook his head, walking back to his office, while Tosh and Gwen shared a look and then returned to their respective works.

* * *

_(28__th__ March 1981)_

Waiting was not something many people were very good at, especially seven year old boys. With a heavy sigh, Owen slouched in his seat, and stared up at the ceiling, swinging his legs back and forth without rhythm. How much longer would he be made to wait?

There were books and toys in the waiting room, but Owen had deemed them too young for him when a five year old had started playing with them, thus leaving him with nothing to do.

"Owen, sit up straight." said Nan, poking him in the shoulder. Owen narrowed his eyes at her and slouched down some more. No stupid old woman was going to tell him what to do.

"How much longer?"

"It'll take as long as it takes."

"Well why can't it hurry up?"

Nan sighed and her hands tightened around her purse. She always seemed nervous about her purse when Owen was around. Like Owen cared what she had in there.

The door to the waiting room opened and Owen looked up to see Dad striding through with the biggest grin on his face. Everyone said that when Owen grew up, he'd look just like Dad. Owen jumped to his feet.

"Well?" he demanded.

"Come and see." Dad held out his hand. Owen took it. He liked the way Dad held his hand so tight. It made him feel safe. Dad led him down the white hall. Owen's eyes followed the blue line that they were following. Blue was a boys' colour. He'd been told that was the colour to follow if he wandered off and got lost. Of course that was a hard thing to do when Nan was around. She kept him by her side like he was a dog. Owen hated it.

Dad led him down another corridor and then stopped at a door.

"Ready son?"

"Yeah, whatever." Owen shrugged. Dad smiled at him and pushed open the door.

It was quieter in the room, away from the rest of the hospital. There was one bed. Sitting up in the bed was a woman with long, wavy black hair, white skin and blue eyes. She was wearing a pink nightdress with flowers and sheep that Owen had picked out for Mother's Day for her. Was she glowing? In her arms was a bundle of blankets. Looking up, she smiled at Owen,

"Hello cariad, come and meet your brother."

Dad pulled on Owen's hand and led him to the side of the bed. He lifted Owen up onto the bed by Mum's side. Owen leaned against her to see what all the fuss was about.

Nestled in the blankets was a small baby. His face was pink, and he had a tuft of jet black hair on his head that went over his forehead a little. His nose was upturned just a little like Mum's, and his cheeks were rosy, with dark eyelashes resting against them. A little fist was nestled between his cheek and the blankets.

"Well, what do you think of him Owen?"

Owen stared hard at the baby, pursing his lips in thought, before pulling them back and curling them.

"He's alright I guess. What's he called?"

"We're calling him Ianto. Ianto Jones-Harper."

"I guess that's ok."

Ianto squirmed and then his eyes opened blinking up at the three of them. Owen thought he was a bit silly looking doing that.

"Hello Ianto. Are you waking up to say hello to your big brother?" cooed Mum, shifting Ianto so he was facing Owen better. Owen and Ianto stared at each other, Ianto's eyes wide and blinking, Owen with an unsure face. Then Ianto let out a wail. Owen fell off the bed in shock.

* * *

_(Present)_

"You can stop smirking right now."

"Why? It's annoying you. Why should I stop?"

"Because I'll smash your pretty-boy face in, that's why!"

"Aw, you think I'm pretty?"

Owen froze and looked up at Ianto, who was daring him, just daring him to do something. It was a look Owen was all too familiar with when it came to the Welshman.

"You're as pretty as a girl. Come to think of it, it's often hard to tell the difference. Someday you'll probably come in here in a suit skirt."

"Now wouldn't I love to see that!" crowed Jack as he sauntered over before Ianto could retort. Ianto threw Jack an exasperated and fond look and then shot Owen a smirk that screamed victory. Owen gripped hold of the autopsy table to keep from running at the younger man and making his fist acquainted with Ianto's face.

"Jack, this wanker of a Welshman is interfering with my work."

"Oh? How so?"

"He won't leave when I tell him to and his presence is distracting me." Owen glared at Ianto, "Why can't you just be invisible as usual? Why can't you just fucking disappear?"

Ianto's jaw twitched and his bright blue eyes flashed. Jack raised an eyebrow but Ianto simply turned to Jack and said,

"Coffee Jack?"

"Sure Ianto. I'd love one."

"I'll get it." Ianto threw a look at Owen before leaving. Owen breathed a sigh of relief. Today was not a good day for him to be around Ianto, or for Ianto to be around him. Not after Jack's little joke.

"You know, one of these days I'm gonna stick you two in a cell and let you wrestle it out. Hmm… maybe I'll fill it with mud… or Jell-O. Now that I'd pay to see. Could there be snogging involved?"

Owen fixed Jack with his most disgusted stare at the very thought of it. Jack smirked at him and walked away with that swagger of his that irritated Owen and caused Ianto to stare.

With a snort as he thought about the way Ianto followed Jack around like a puppy, Owen resumed his work, examining the neurosystem of a dead weevil that they'd preserved. It was useful in figuring out Janet's brain without having to sedate her or cut out her brain. It was very important work, required so they could understand the weevils better, that could help them to communicate with them, and maybe finding some way of explaining why ripping homeless people to pieces was just a bad idea on Earth. And the fact that he had to triple check what he was examining was not because of the fact that he was distracted by the sound of Ianto laughing with Jack somewhere in the main Hub.

He refused to admit that sound tugged at his heart and made his stomach clench in a way that was more emotional than physical.

* * *

_(12__th__ June 1983)_

"Ianto, stop it!"

Owen scowled at his little brother as the toddler pulled at his sleeve again. Ianto pouted at Owen and made grabby motions with his hands, stretching them up to Owen.

"Hungy." he whimpered.

"You already had a cookie! I'm not giving you mine."

"Ow'n, hungy." Ianto made more grabby motions with chubby fists. Owen sighed as he looked down at the bright blue eyes that were gazing at him so sadly. He tried to resist, but in the end he broke off a corner of his cookie and handed it to Ianto. Ianto gave him a toothy grin and ate the cookie piece, pressing the palm of his hand to his open mouth before biting down with milk-white teeth. "Thank Ow'n." he said, leaning forward and putting his arms around Owen's neck, burying his face into Owen's neck. Owen rolled his eyes and gave him a quick squeeze with one arm before pushing him off. Ianto tottered back and Owen's heart jumped, feeling panicked that he might fall. But Ianto was as graceful a toddler as there ever would be according to their mum, and he managed to stay on his chequer-shoed feet.

Ianto looked surprised that he was still standing and he giggled, clapping his hands. Owen smiled at him.

"You're one lucky kid, you know?"

"Ow'n lucky too!"

"I-"

"I DON'T CARE!"

Owen and Ianto jumped at the shout from Dad. Owen sighed and Ianto looked frightened. Their parents were fighting again.

"Keep your voice down! The children will hear you."

"They know something's not right you-"

"Choose your words carefully Arthur!"

"Are you threatening me Elen?"

Ianto whimpered and reached out to Owen, looking for shelter from the shouting. Owen knew Ianto hated loud noises. They scared him, especially when he was alone or in the dark.

With a heavy sigh, the nine year old got to his feet and picked Ianto up, hefting the toddler onto his hip. Being careful not to step on anything but carpet, Owen made his way up the stairs, grimacing when there was a bang. Dad had slammed his hand down on the kitchen table again. He usually did that a few times when he and Mum had a fight. Ianto clung onto Owen tighter, hiding his face in Owen's shoulder.

Owen carried him to their bedroom and sat down on his bed, letting Ianto slide out of his arms when he wiggled. Even upstairs and the door shut, the shouting could be heard, but Owen couldn't make out the words. He doubted he wanted to.

Ianto walked over to his teddies and picked one up, then wandered over to his neat pile of books. Ianto liked his books in neat piles. Owen had seen him struggling to do it more than once, his little hands not able to manage. So Owen always helped him.

Now, Ianto picked up a book and carried it over to Owen and offered it to him.

"What? You want me to read to you?"

Ianto nodded. Owen wasn't really in the mood, but the book might take his mind off the shouting downstairs. So he bundled book, teddy and toddler up onto the bed and pulled the duvet over them both, leaning back against his headboard. Ianto cuddled up against his side, and Owen put his arm behind Ianto, sandwiching him. The teddy in Ianto's hand was dressed like a doctor. It was Owen's favourite, he was going to be a doctor when he grew up, but he was too big for teddies, or so his parents had said, and so he'd given them to Ianto. But Ianto shared them with Owen whenever he asked. Ianto now had an arm around the teddy's middle and was holding him close.

Once all three were settled, Owen picked up the book and opened it up. Frowning in concentration he began to read.

"Once… Upon a Time, there… were… three bears…"

* * *

I hope everyone likes this fic so far. More soon, hopefully.

Night's Darkness


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry this took so long to update, I just kept forgetting to actually update.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_(Present)_

"Ah, just right Ianto, as always." praised Jack, smacking his lips.

"I try my best sir." Ianto said as he inclined his head to him.

"You always do."

"Thank you Jack." Ianto gave Jack a little smile before walking away, giving Gwen and Tosh their coffees. Then he drew in a deep breath and walked over to the autopsy room. Owen didn't glance up as he poured over his work, or tried to look like he was working. Ianto knew that glassy eyed look very well.

"Here's your coffee Owen." he said, trying not to sound angry. Jack had been serious about his annoyance with them. Owen jumped and looked up, looking surprised. Then he scowled. Ianto saw a different man in that scowl.

"'Bout fucking time!" Owen snatched his mug and then swore as the liquid splashed and scalded him.

"You should be more careful."

"And you should just bugger off. In fact, go get buggered by Jack. Some of us actually have to work to keep our jobs."

Ianto's lips pressed together. There were times when he wondered just how things had gotten so bad between them. Then he would pause and evaluate their lives and think _'oh right.'_ with a gloomy sigh. It was hard to believe there was once a time when they'd been happy in each other's company. It was hard to believe that Owen had once tickled him until he'd soiled his training nappy (Ianto was a bit glad that they refused to acknowledge their relationship since that kept that story quiet). It was hard to believe Ianto had put his arms around Owen's neck and cried into his shoulder before their parents pulled them apart. It was hard to believe that Owen had been crying too.

"Jealous much Owen?" he said, unable to think of anything better.

"Not in this lifetime."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"Get lost teaboy."

"I make coffee Owen. If you're going to insult me, at least make sense when you do it."

"And what're you gonna do to make me?"

"Nothing. I don't need to."

Owen glared at Ianto, who stared back, feeling his old anger work its way up again. Then Owen looked away and resumed his work, glaring down at it. Ianto looked down at Owen and turned away.

* * *

_(7__th__ October 1984)_

"Ow'n. What we gonna do now?" Ianto looked up to his brother, who was glaring at the ground. Ianto had been trying to get him to speak for ages now, but so far had had no luck. "Ow'n?"

"What!?" snapped Owen, glaring down at Ianto. The three year old jerked back, alarmed. He wasn't used to his brother yelling at him. Dad did but Mam and Owen didn't.

"I… I…"

"Go away Ianto. I don't wanna talk to you."

Tears filled Ianto's eyes as he walked away from Owen, wondering what he'd done to upset his brother.

"Ianto wait!"

Ianto turned just in time to be lifted up and hugged tight by Owen. He wrapped his arms around Owen's neck and held on tight.

"Ow'n?"

"We're gonna stick together, ok? Just you and me. We won't let them take us away."

"Who?"

"Mum and Dad."

"Where're we going?"

"Well… Dad's not going anywhere, but Mum is. And she's saying she's taking you with her."

Ianto didn't see what was wrong with this. Mam went away all the time, but she always came back. And sometimes she brought Ianto with her. Ianto liked going to the place with the silver baskets on wheels that Mam would sit him in and push him around.

"But she'll bring me back."

"No, Ianto, this time Mum's going away forever, and she'll take you with her."

"But… what about you?"

"I'm staying with Dad. I _want_ to stay with Dad." There was a funny tone to Owen's voice.

"Well, can't you come with Mam and me?"

"And what about Dad?"

"Can't he come too?"

"No! They're splitting up Ianto. We're not gonna be a family anymore. Mum's going back to Wales. Dad's staying here."

"Why?"

"They don't love each other anymore I guess."

"Why?"

"I don't know. If I did I'd fix it."

"But…" Ianto didn't see what was wrong, why Owen was so upset. He didn't understand what Owen was saying. Why didn't their parents love each other anymore? And what difference did that make? "Ow'n… can we play with the football?"

Owen looked at Ianto with a strange look on his face before setting him down on the ground. Ianto backed up a little, unsure if Owen was going to yell at him again.

"Ok… c'mon." Owen held out his hand. Ianto smiled and grabbed it tight.

* * *

_(Present)_

"Heads up!"

Ianto ducked just in time to avoid a basketball to the face. As he straightened up, fixing his tie as he did, he glared at Owen, who shrugged and said,

"Little help teaboy?"

"Help yourself Owen."

"What? That charm only reserved for Jack so he'll bend you over the desk?"

"It's reserved for people who actually deserve people being polite."

"Stop it you two, I'm trying to work here." said Tosh, glaring at them from behind her glasses. "Honestly, why do you two always fight?"

"Difference of opinion." muttered Owen.

"You're like cats and dogs."

"Cheers Tosh."

"No I'm serious, Jack's right, you two need to sort out your stupid issues." piped up Gwen.

"Who says they're stupid?" asked Ianto, glaring at Owen. Owen seemed to be equally rankled by Gwen's words.

"Well what is the problem between you two?"

"It's none of your business."

"If it's affecting the team then it is."

"No it fucking well isn't."

"Oh go on Owen! Why don't you just tell them all about it? God knows, you love to make out I'm the bastard all the time." shouted Ianto, an unexpected rage filling him as he looked up at Owen. Owen's face contorted, casting a shadow over his eyes.

"Well you were the bastard! You were the one who refused to come see him when he was practically crying for you!"

"And you were the one who practically danced on her grave!" Ianto ran up the steps and shoved Owen hard, throwing the older man into his desk. Owen let out a snarl and tackled Ianto before Gwen could scream.

"She deserved it! She fucking deserved every little shit that life gave her after what she did!" Owen screamed in Ianto's face, shaking him.

"It was his fault, he drove her away. He never saw what she could give. He deserved to die slowly." Ianto managed to slam his fist into Owen's jaw and Owen was forced to move with the punch before his jaw was broken.

"You little shit! You must've thought you were so fucking special that you got all the fancy stuff."

"And you must've been so jealous that I had everything you wanted, including her love."

Owen let out a roar and saw red. His fists were flying and Ianto had to cover his head to protect himself. There was a shout and then Owen was pulled off him. Ianto sat up as soon as the weight was gone to see Jack looking thunderous as he restrained Owen. Tosh helped Ianto to stand. Ianto touched his face, finding blood coming from a cut on his lip and above his eye. Owen had a bruise blossoming on his cheek.

"Well… this is interesting." said Jack and Ianto could see he was putting pieces together. "So… I'm guessing if I compared your DNA I'd find it matched pretty well."

Neither man answered, only glared at each other. Tosh had a tight grip of Ianto's hand, keeping him from lunging at Owen. Jack looked between them and nodded,

"Right then."

Seizing Owen by the elbow and then doing the same for Ianto, he dragged both men through the Hub, down to the cells. Ianto realised exactly what he was doing and began struggling. Jack turned his head and gave Ianto a look that made Ianto shrink back. Jack was very angry with them, very angry. So Ianto wasn't at all surprised when a minute later he was locked in a cell next to Janet with Owen.

"And you're not coming out until you've sorted this out."

"What right d'you have nosing in on this?" snarled Owen.

"I'm your boss."

"That's not good enough!" Owen roared, slamming his fist against the glass. "You've no idea-"

"No, and I really don't care either! You two are going to stay down here as long as it takes for you to sort it." Throwing Ianto a look of disappointment Jack walked out. Ianto wondered if Jack was disappointed because Ianto had kept this from him or because he'd expected better from him.

"Great! Fucking fantastic. Stuck in here the rest of my life with you, 'cause I'm telling you right now-" Owen shoved a finger in front of Ianto's face, shaking with rage. "I've no plans to kiss and make up with you."

"Neither do I. Wouldn't want to if my life depended on it. Besides, at least I know I'll be getting out of here eventually." Ianto managed a smirk, even as he thought about the likelihood of one of them killing the other.

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Jack can't survive with his industrial strength coffee. Once his caffeine levels go down, I'm out of here."

"Yeah, 'cause that's all you're good for, isn't it? Coffee and shags."

"I'm more than that, and you know it. Otherwise you wouldn't invest so much time in trying to make me think otherwise."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You think you're so much better than us don't you, just 'cause you wear a fancy suit."

"I like the suits. Just like you like to wear the clothes that make it obvious that you're up for anything that so much as looks at you."

Owen snorted, "You look like a kid trying to act like a grown up."

Ianto's face tightened, and Owen knew he'd struck a nerve. "Someone has to." There was less anger now, more weariness in the soft welsh accent. Owen could remember a time when Ianto's voice had held soft vowels and harsh consonants. It had made his precarious pronunciation something altogether bizarre.

The two of them stood in the cell, facing each other, but Ianto was staring at the floor, looking world weary. He was twenty six going on sixty. Owen could see it in his eyes.

Ianto sighed and sat down on the ground, curling up in a small ball, not looking away from the ground. Owen looked him over and snorted, muttering, "Pathetic." before sitting down, stretching his legs out and leaning against the cold wall.

* * *

Short I know, but I promise there'll be more soon.

Night's Darkness


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks a million to all my reviewers, I'm really glad you like this so far.

Enjoy this new chapter!!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_(15__th__ July 1988)_

The playground was nice enough, swings, slide, bark scattered across the ground to protect little knees. It wasn't very full, which was odd since it was the summer holidays. Owen didn't much care though. He didn't want to be here. He was only here because of him. He wanted to see his little brother. He'd no interest in seeing the woman who'd left him and taken his best friend with her.

Dad stood beside him, looking uneasy. If Owen had been younger, he might have held his hand. But he was much too big for that. Fourteen year old boys don't hold their dad's hands.

"There they are." said Dad, gesturing with his head. A tall woman, with long luxurious black hair, dressed in a sharp suit and a serious expression on her face, was walking over to them. Holding her hand was a boy who looked just like her. He was dressed in smart clothes too. His face was anxious, nervous, bright blue eyes fixed on Owen and Dad. Owen felt embarrassed by his clothes for a moment, and glancing at Dad, guessed he felt the same. They were wearing good clothes, but against the arrivals, they felt underdressed. Owen felt his already burning anger flare a little. Elen was trying to make them look bad, he knew it.

"Hello Arthur." said Elen as they reached them.

"Elen."

"Hello Owen." Elen smiled down at Owen, but Owen glared at her. "Aren't you going to say hello to me?"

"I've nothing to say to you."

Elen seemed surprised, then looked at Dad, "Nice to see you've been keeping his manners up."

"Owen's polite to people who deserve it. Not people who ignore him for four years and then call up for the sake of one son over the other." Dad was bristling. Owen felt like growling or screaming as he sensed the old arguments resurfacing. He hadn't come here for that. He'd come to see Ianto, and talk to him. But when Owen looked down at Ianto, noticing how he'd grown so much, he saw Ianto looked a little frightened of him. And that hurt.

"Ianto, why don't you and Owen go play and catch up." cooed Elen, crouching down to look at Ianto, stroking his cheek as he did. Ianto smiled at her and nodded, before looking at Owen again. The nervous expression was back, but Owen saw it disappear behind a blank expression quick. He felt heartened as he recognised what Ianto was doing. Owen himself did it often.

"C'mon, let's get away from these two before they start fighting." he grunted, nodding his head in the direction of the swings. Ianto nodded and followed him away. When they reached the swings, Owen plopped into one. Ianto just stood there, staring. "Ain't you going to say something?"

Ianto drew in a deep breath, before holding his hand out. "Hello Owen."

Owen nearly fell out of his swing. Ianto's voice had changed completely. Not a shred of baby lisp, not a hint of a British accent. Instead his accent was completely Welsh, he didn't even pronounce Owen's name like he used to, in that way that Owen had always liked. Ow'n. To Owen it had always sounded like 'own', with a possessive tone. Ianto had always sounded like he considered Owen his own, but not in a way that had angered Owen. It had been a secure thing, because Owen had known Ianto had loved him by calling him that. Now though… and since when did Ianto shake hands like a posh gentleman?

Owen reached out and took hold of Ianto's smaller, paler hand, feeling the warmth in his skin, "Hello Ianto."

Ianto quickly let go after a few seconds, before putting his hands behind his back, staring at Owen like he was some sort of exhibit. Owen felt his temper flare again. The look was too like Elen's. "Sit down and stop looking at me like that."

"Sorry… I just…" Ianto lowered his eyes and slowly went to the other swing and sat down, small hands wrapping around the chains. The two boys sat in silence, swinging themselves a little by digging their toes into the ground. Owen glared out at the area, and Ianto stared at the ground. The two boys looked nothing alike, in appearance, manner or clothing. And they could feel it. There was an invisible brick wall of discomfort between them.

"Do you still want to be a doctor Owen?" asked Ianto at last, sounding like an adult asking the question. That, not the question, irked Owen. He was surprised Ianto remembered it. He'd been three when they'd last seen each other.

"Yes. How'd you know?"

"I've still got my doctor bear. I hid it from Ivor when he threw out all my other bears. Said I was too big for them. I… I can remember you saying that someday you'd be dressed like the bear and you'd be a great hero, saving everyone, even those who'd had their heads cut off."

Owen's eyes widened. He had been nine when he'd said that. Ianto hadn't quite turned three.

"How'd you remember that?"

"I remember everything. Mam says it's called total recall. I can remember what I had for breakfast this time last year."

"I guess that's handy in schools. Bet you go to a real posh school." Owen scowled, thinking of his shoddy school. Dad hadn't been able to afford any better.

"I guess." That explained the clothes, posh schoolboy look in everyway. "I don't really like it. The teachers aren't much fun. And…" Ianto trailed off, looking embarrassed. Owen, not wanting to hear about Ianto being in a good school, when he wasn't, didn't press.

"Who's Ivor?"

"Mam's fiancé. They're getting married in August." Ianto's tone suggested he wasn't happy about this.

"Don't like him? Is he a prick?"

"A what?"

"Is he up his own arse?"

Ianto blushed at the swear, then shyly nodded. "A bit. But Mam likes him. So it doesn't matter."

"Is he nice to you?"

Ianto shrugged, looking down at the ground. "He's fine, so long as he's in a good mood."

Owen didn't ask. Ianto swung a little more on the swing, the metal squeaking. Then he looked up, anxious eyes looking at Owen, as if wanting him to talk, or ask more questions. But Owen couldn't think of a damn thing.

Dad coughed loudly, and looked embarrassed as both boys jumped and Elen glared at him. Neither adult was making any effort to talk. Just standing there, watching them. Waiting for them to finish. The chains bit into Owen's hands and his hatred for Elen grew.

"Do you like your school?" asked Ianto, when Owen said nothing.

"It's a craphole."

"Oh." Ianto looked down, swinging again. "What about your house? Do you still live in our old house?"

"No. Dad couldn't afford it. We live in a flat."

"Is it nice?"

"'S a place to sleep and eat."

"We have a nice garden. When it snowed last Christmas I made a snowman in it and he was as big as me. I gave him a carrot for a nose and my hat so he wouldn't be too cold outside at night. I didn't want him to get sick."

Owen wondered if Ianto was kidding, but one looked at Ianto's face told him he was serious.

"I called him Madog. He died after New Years, when the sun melted him."

"Mad dog?"

"No, Madog."

"Oh."

There was silence again. This one was broken by Elen walking over.

"Well, we really have to go. I've work tomorrow and Ianto's got classes with his tutor."

"Tutor? It's the bloody summer!" exclaimed Dad.

"Do not swear in front of my son Arthur. And, it may be summer, but Ianto likes his tutor. He's a very good, smart boy, and if he does well this summer, he'll be able to move ahead in school." Elen's voice was cold. Ianto shrank in his shirt, looking embarrassed and nervous.

"He's my son too. I should've known you'd do this. You'd make him sit and study his whole life, never let him have any fun if I didn't keep on reminding you when I call to check on him. Which is more than you do for Owen."

"Why would I need to? You tell me how Owen is every time you call, and maybe if you got him to study a bit more he could reach his full potential."

"It's the bloody principal of the thing Elen. And Owen may not be the best in his class, but at least he has fun. Unlike Ianto. I can see it just by looking at him."

"Ianto is perfectly happy thank you. Ivor and he went to the park last weekend."

Ianto gave a small shudder. Owen's eyes narrowed. He hated the fact that his parents were fighting about them like they weren't even there.

Dad snorted, "What about you? Have you ever taken the boy to a park?"

Elen drew herself up, and then she turned to Ianto, "Ianto come on. We're leaving."

"Yeah, go and run away as usual. You're so good at that Elen."

"You drove me away Arthur, and you know it."

Ianto waved a little hand at Owen, "Goodbye Owen."

Owen stared at him, noting how he held onto Elen's skirt, "Bye Ianto."

Elen barely spared Owen a glance as she pulled Ianto away at a brisk pace. Ianto looked back at them, waving as he went. Dad looked heartbroken.

"Poor kid. He's probably got the best things money can buy. But you can tell he's got no friends." Dad squeezed Owen's shoulder, "At least you have that son, eh?"

Owen said nothing, imagining all the nice things Ianto had, and unable to sympathise with what he lacked. "Yeah, I guess."

* * *

_(7__th__ December 1991)_

"Did you get him? What he say?" asked Arthur. Owen sighed and shook his head.

"He can't come."

The look on Arthur's face made Owen want to cry, "He… he can't come? Why not?"

"Some sort of… school thing. He says he's sorry." Owen didn't bother to tell his dad where he'd told Ianto to shove his apologies. School was no excuse to not come to see your dying father. Owen almost shuddered at the word. Dying. Fucking cancer, gotten from second-hand smoking in the bar Arthur had worked in at night to help pay the bills and so Owen could go to medical school.

"I… I thought he would've come to see me… I mean, you told him I've not got… long, right?"

"Yeah. I told him. But he still said no."

"That woman." growled Arthur. "She's behind this. I know it. It's always her."

"Ianto could've stood up to her. Told her he was coming. Clearly he didn't." Owen would not try to defend the brat.

Arthur coughed and Owen rubbed his back. "Thanks son."

"'s no problem." Owen clenched his hands to hide how much they were shaking. He was in no way able to handle this. It was too much for him on his own. "I'm gonna make a cuppa, want one?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." Arthur smiled up at him and Owen managed to return it. Turning, he walked out of the room and down the corridor of the hospital, to the toilets. Once there, he sat in a free cubicle and curled up in a ball. Burying his face in his knees he cried hard, wishing someone would hold him and tell him it would be ok. Anyone. But the one person Owen really wished was here, was his brother, because he still remembered how Ianto had made things easier by just being there for him when they were little. And the stupid brat couldn't do anything more than say in a meek voice,

"Sorry Owen."

Owen grit his teeth as the memory of the welsh voice rang in his head, "Yeah, you're not sorry now. But you will be. I swear you will be Ianto fucking Jones."

* * *

_(Present)_

"You really think I'm a bastard, don't you?"

Owen grimaced as Ianto's voice went through his head. They'd been in the cold cell for about two hours without a word to each other, and now Ianto had to go and ruin it by opening his mouth.

"Yes. You are a bastard."

"Well… I'm not you know."

"He was on his fucking death bed, crying for you to come to see him and you didn't come, no matter what I said. You weren't the one who sat beside him as he was eaten away by the cancer, to comfort him when he talked about how he'd screwed up with you, you tosser of a son who couldn't come to see him when he begged you because of school."

Ianto looked up from his knees, a look on his face that was torn between shock and bitter amusement. "You actually believed me?"

"What?"

"You actually believed that I was so heartless that I wouldn't come to see Dad when he was dying because… because of SCHOOL?!"

"That's what you said."

"I was TEN!! I thought saying that would be better than telling the truth, 'cause I knew you'd only get angry."

"What?"

"Mam wouldn't let me go. I begged, pleaded and kicked up a fuss and all I got was a smack from Ivor. I wanted to see him, but they wouldn't let me and I didn't know how to get to London by myself."

Owen stared at Ianto for a moment, reeling from what he'd just been told. This challenged everything Owen had ever believed about Ianto.

"You should have just said that. If you had I'd have come to get you."

"I didn't want Ivor to hurt you, you twat! I was terrified he'd do to you what he did to me. That he'd-" Ianto snapped his mouth shut and looked away.

"What did he do?"

"Forget it."

"No, what did he do?"

"I said Forget it Owen. Don't act like you give a shit now, not after what you said at her funeral."

"She was a-"

"She was my mam! And while you didn't give a crap about her, I did! I loved her! Just like you loved Dad. And you-" Ianto looked away, tears in his eyes. "I needed you Owen. And you left me."

Owen could not deny that he did.

* * *

_(23__rd__ April 1993)_

Ianto felt like there was a gaping hole in his head and heart, as he stared down at the grave. His Mam was in that box, under all that dirt. But she wasn't really. A body wasn't a whole person, that's what Mam said. Mind and soul and body made a person a person.

Ivor was standing a little way away. The whole time for the funeral he'd kept a tight hand on Ianto's shoulder. Ianto hadn't the courage to push it off, even as his skin crawled. Now, with no one really watching, Ivor had dropped the concerned step-father act.

There was the crunch of feet on the stones and Ianto looked up at someone he hadn't seen in five years and spoken to in three.

"Owen?"

"Jones."

Ianto flinched at the cold tone Owen used. He shouldn't be surprised that Owen was still angry about what happened with Dad. Mam had always said that she and Owen were more alike than Owen would ever admit. They both nursed hurts to full health and then cradled them until the right moment.

"You… You came."

"Yeah, just so I could see this for myself."

"S-see what?"

"Her grave, her name etched in stone, with that fantastic date of death on it."

Horror clawed at Ianto's chest, along with rage and tears.

"Don't say that about our –about my Mam. You've no right." Ianto tried to sound brave and strong, like a boy of thirteen should, but instead it came out choked.

"I've every fucking right. Stupid bitch didn't give a shit about me or Dad, just like you, you little sod."

"Owen, please, I…" Ianto reached out to grab his brother's hand, sensing he was about to be left alone with Ivor.

"Don't you touch me!" Owen's hand shot out and Ianto found himself cradling his face as he lay on the ground. Tears fell uninhibited down his cheeks as he looked up at his brother. Owen seemed stunned too, and for a moment Ianto hoped things would be better now. But he made the mistake of reaching out for Owen's hand and Owen's face closed to him. "You little piece of shit! You think I came here to kiss and make up with you? Fat chance. I came here to see her dead and you miserable as you deserve. So don't you even think of trying to rebuild bridges with me. If I ever see you again, I'll really give you a reason to fucking cry like a baby."

Spitting on the garlands that adorned the fresh grave, Owen turned around and stormed away. Ianto sat up, trying to suppress his sobs, because Ivor would never let it go if he saw them.

"Mam… what do I do now? How do I fix all this?"

There was no answer, save the whisper of the wind.

"Get up boy!" growled Ivor, striding over. Ianto closed his eyes for a moment, trying to control himself, forcing his bland mask over his face before he got to his feet. Ivor looked down at him and Ianto stared back, wondering what would happen now. Ivor's hand reached out and grabbed the back of Ianto's neck in a tight grip, just enough to make Ianto tense.

"If I ever see you fall to a hit like that, I'll make you rue the day you were born. Now get in the car!"

Ianto ran to the car without a word, longing for the hour when he could curl up in his bed and hug his Doctor Bear and cry himself to sleep.

* * *

Poor whumpy Ianto and emo Owen!

Reviews are always appreciated.

Night's Darkness


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sorry for the long wait, I forgot to update here, since I post all my Torchwood stuff at Live Journal too.

Enjoy

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"Harkness! Let us out! For fucks sake, it's been five hours!"

"Six actually."

"You shut it tea-boy!"

Ianto sighed and shifted where he sat as Owen resumed his smacking of the Plexiglas. The pounding was giving him a headache but if he said that, he'd just end up getting a worse one.

Just as Owen looked like he was about to give up, Jack came down and stood in front of the cell, his hands on his hips.

"About fucking time Harkness. Now open up!"

"I wanna see a hug first."

"You must be kidding sir." Ianto got to his feet as Owen shouted, "No way in hell!"

"Hug, or you're not getting out of here."

Owen growled and glared at Ianto who stared back with a stony gaze. They both moved forward and began to open their arms, completely against their will, then Ianto blanched and turned away.

"Jack this isn't fair!"

"Oh really?"

"You don't understand why we don't consider ourselves related. How can you presume to force us to hug, when we can barely be around each other?"

"You two have to work together-"

"And we do. You just caught us on a bad day. Normally we can get along rather well considering it all. Now stop doing this before you push too far."

Jack seemed surprised by Ianto speaking up. Owen would admit he was too. He would also admit he had a point. They did work well together when they had to. They could be professional (Ianto certainly had that down pat) when they had to.

Jack seemed caught out by Ianto and was struggling to find the right words. "You two…"

"Get along just fine considering there are siblings out there with less issues between them who can't go near each other without trying to kill each other." Ianto fixed his jacket and then looked at Jack with a gaze that remind Owen of his father so much it hurt. "Let us out Jack. This isn't right. You know it. It'll only make things worse for everyone. Besides, I'm overdue to get you and the others your caffeine fix. Last thing Cardiff needs is for you lot to go into withdrawal."

Jack's lips quirked and he sighed, "Damn you and your coffee magic." Shaking his head and looking rather preoccupied, he opened the cell door. Owen bolted out before he could change his mind and ran up to the Main Hub, through it and out the door before the girls could even call him. He had to get away from all of this. He had to get away from what Ianto had said. Because it couldn't be true, it just couldn't be.

* * *

"Owen! Wait!" called Gwen.

"Leave him Gwen. He'll be fine." said Ianto as he came up with Jack. "He just needs to run away from this. He'll be back soon."

"Ianto… how could you guys keep this a secret from us?" asked Tosh.

"We don't consider ourselves related, therefore there was no point. That's all. It wasn't as if we trying to keep some bizarre secret from you."

Jack's hand gave Ianto's shoulder a sharp squeeze. Clearly the Captain didn't believe him. Ianto sighed. If the Captain asked him to stay the night, Ianto would have a lot to make up for.

* * *

Ianto usually loved being right, but not tonight. Not when he had to apologise over and over to Jack for keeping another secret. As far as Ianto was concerned, Jack should never have expected him to keep a promise like that. Everyone has secrets, and some are not for sharing. His and Owen's problems had been one of them.

Now Ianto lay in Jack's bed, with Jack lying behind him, a possessive arm around his waist. Ianto found it odd that after sex, Jack became very clingy and held him close all night. Normally he didn't mind too much, but tonight he couldn't relax. He kept going over everything that Owen had said, everything that he'd told Ianto. Their dad's death kept coming to the foreground of his mind.

Ianto had wanted to be there, so badly. But Mam and Ivor wouldn't let him. Ianto couldn't understand why. Probably part of her revenge. Arthur had been a good man, but a man who'd expected Elen to become a housewife, which Elen, as much as she wanted a family, could not do. She'd wanted a career, to be successful, and Arthur had not wanted that. Elen had resented that throughout her marriage and probably after. Was that why Ianto had not been allowed to go to see him? A people said children were petty.

"Ianto, will you be sleeping at all tonight?"

"Sorry Jack. Did I wake you?"

"Not really. What's wrong?"

"I just… I wish I could have been there for my Dad."

"What do you mean?"

"After our parents divorced, Mam brought me to Wales. She met my step-dad there and they got married. I only saw Owen and Dad once after, when I was seven. But it was only for a few minutes. Then I got a call, two years later from Owen. Dad was sick, really sick. Owen said Dad wanted to see me, because he was dying."

"Shit Ianto."

"I wanted to. I really wanted to. But Mam and Ivor wouldn't let me. I tried to convince them, I really did. But they wouldn't listen. Dad died thinking I was too busy with school to be bothered coming to see him."

Jack's arm tightened around Ianto's waist, holding him close. "It wasn't your fault."

"I could have convinced them if I'd had more guts. Or I could have tried to find my way to London. If I'd told Owen the truth then maybe he would have come to get me." Ianto bit his lip, he hated crying in front of people, especially Jack. "It's all my fault. If I'd told him the truth…"

"What did you tell him?"

"I was scared of what would happen if he came to get me. So I told him I had a school thing and couldn't go."

"Why did you tell him that?"

"I thought it would be better, so he wouldn't have another reason to fight with Mam. I was only ten. A stupid ten year old."

"Hey. Come on, you were trying to keep the peace."

"But I made it sound like I didn't care. I did. I really did." Ianto curled up, fighting the sobs that were trying to wrack his body. "My brother hates me because I was too stupid to tell the truth."

Jack's hand was gentle on Ianto's back as he rubbed the bare skin, offering simple comfort. He didn't try to placate him with false reassurances that everything would be ok. All he said was,

"Don't keep it in Ianto. You have to let it out sometime."

Ianto was tempted, after all, Jack wouldn't ridicule him for crying. But he couldn't. Too many years repressing this self-hatred, this grief. It was too deep for him to pull out yet. So he simply wiped his face and rolled over, kissing Jack hard and pulling the older man on top of him.

Jack looked down at Ianto with a serious expression, and Ianto stared back equally serious. Jack sighed and rested his weight on top of Ianto, kissing him again as his fingers worked their magic on Ianto's skin.

* * *

Owen nursed his whiskey, holding it close to him, his nose almost swimming in it. He'd been sitting like that for God knows how long now, but he couldn't make himself move. It was as if his body had taken a break so his brain could go into overtime.

In his head he saw two Ianto's. One was a sweet little toddler who liked cuddling beside him as they watch their Saturday morning cartoons. The other was a man who really had almost angelic features and haunted eyes, who hid behind sharp suits. In the end, both images were one and the same person. And that person was his little brother. His baby brother who'd been as helpless as Owen himself had been growing up, caught up in their parents issues. Maybe Ianto was even more so, because he was so much younger.

'_Why did I expect so much from him when Dad was sick? He was only 10. I wouldn't have been able to go from one city to another at that age, and I was more street wise than him at that age.'_

Hadn't it been Owen who'd sworn they'd stick together forever, them against the world? Hadn't it been him who'd broken that vow? He'd never sent letters or called. If he had, Ianto would have too, he was sure of it. But Ianto had been too young at first to reply, and then it had been too hard, as it always is when you fall out of contact with family. Everything that wants to be said feels heavy in the air around you, so heavy it's just easier to ignore it and not try to connect.

"Shit." Owen murmured, covering his eyes with his hand. He'd fucked this up completely. He was too tired to maintain his anger at Ianto, so all he could feel was regret. If he'd made more of an effort, if he'd swallowed his pride and gone to see him a few times, then maybe it would have been better. Maybe they might actually call each other brother.

"Rough day love?" asked the barmaid, smiling at him. Owen looked up at her and said gruffly,

"Shit one. Bye."

The barmaid barely blinked at his dismissal and moved on to another customer.

Owen rubbed his eyes and his traitorous mind brought him to what Ianto had hinted at only today. That Ivor had hit him, or did something to him. The very idea made his skin crawl. The image of a tall man towering over the toddler Owen had put to bed at night with his dad was like a knife in the gut. Knowing that he wouldn't sleep tonight if he didn't find out (he did care a little, he supposed), Owen had to know what exactly Ivor had done. But a snowflake had a better chance of coming back from the centre of the sun than Owen had of Ianto telling him the truth. So how the hell was he going to find out?

The answer popped into his head almost as soon as he asked himself the question.

Deciding he was already out of his mind and a bit more trauma wouldn't do him any extra harm, he finished his whiskey and walked out to his car. He just hoped Jack and Ianto (if he was there) wouldn't hear him poking around.

* * *

When Owen arrived at the Hub it was coming up to one and all was silent. Owen took the invisible-lift, because it was quieter, and made his way through the Hub, and snuck into the Archives. He walked with extra caution once he was inside. Ianto's senses were uncanny when it came to the Archives. He knew who'd been down there and when even if nothing was out of place. It was like he could smell it.

Finding the 'G' section and, smirking a little as he recalled Ianto's frustrated shouts of 'It's the English Alphabet Owen! It's not that hard to follow!' whenever Owen had deliberately mixed things up, he opened the folder and searched for the right file, which in turn, led him to the right box. Pulling out the small device (being very careful not to press any buttons) he stuffed it in his jacket pocket.

Feeling very much like a successful cat burglar, Owen tried not to swagger out to the Main Hub.

Jack smiled at him from where he was standing just outside his office.

"Bugger." hissed Owen. He glared up mutinously at Jack, whose smile only widened.

"Heaven help you when Ianto finds out you were down there." was all Jack said, turning away and walking back into his office. Owen tried not to wonder if Ianto was down there as Jack's bare torso disappeared down his manhole. Running back to the lift he went back up to the Plass and jumped into his car, before speeding away. He then used his palm pilot to access Ianto's files to get the address of his old home. He was eventually able to find it after some digging and set it to his GPS system, before checking to see if Ivor Jones still lived there. He did.

"Brilliant." hissed Owen as he drove out of Cardiff and headed to the outskirts of Newport.

* * *

Jack climbed back into bed and put his arms around Ianto.

"Who was it?"

"Just Myfanwy, she must be feeling restless."

"Oh…"

"Go back to sleep Ianto."

Ianto sighed and snuggled closer to Jack, tired from the emotional day. In his dreams he watched with a pained heart as two little boys played their games and laughed together.

* * *

Owen wasn't too surprised when he arrived to find the house was pretty big, with a large garden. It figured.

A rope swing creaked against its branch as the wind made it sway. It made the hair on the back of Owen's neck stand on end. There was a chill about this place. The idea of a little boy being isolated and alone here was like an ice cube dropped into Owen's stomach.

Pulling his coat around him tighter, Owen walked towards the front door, wondering what he would say. He had to speak to Ivor, had to see the man for himself. He needed to know.

Knocking at the door, he waited impatiently for it to be opened. After five minutes he knocked harder.

"What!?" barked the man as he opened the door. Owen wondered if he should have grabbed his gun before he left. The man was as tall as Jack and broader. He had jet black hair that was receding and mean little eyes. He had the beginnings of a beer belly and was wearing a stained shirt.

"Sorry mate, my car broke down and my phone's dead. Was wondering if I could borrow your phone?"

The man gave him a look over and then nodded, gesturing for him to enter. Owen made sure to avoid all contact with the man, who reeked of vodka and cigarettes. He let the man lead him to the phone and he picked it up and dialled his voicemail. Once he heard his own voice speaking he started to talk

"Yeah, my car's broken down. Can you come get me?

"Yeah, I'm uh… just outside Newport.

"Ok, cool. Yeah… ok, bye." Owen hung up, "D'you mind if I stay here for a little while. My girlfriend's coming to get me."

"Fine. Just don't mess with anything."

"No worries mate. Uh… d'you mind if I use the bathroom?"

The man stared at him for a few minutes and then nodded, grunting, "Up the stairs on your left, third door down."

"Much obliged. Oh, by the way, I'm Ed Morgan." Owen wished he'd thought of a better name, but then again, Gwen wasn't around to hear him.

"Ivor Jones."

Only his mother would marry someone with the same last name as hers.

"Nice to meet you. 'scuse me."

Owen strolled up the stairs and found the bathroom. He checked to see if Ivor was listening and, hearing him stomp away, merely opened and closed the door, and then began to tip toe around, looking for some room that could have been Ianto's. He found Ivor's, and recoiled quickly, before trying the next door. There was nothing in it but a bare bed and wardrobe, but something about it sent shivers up Owen's spine. He pulled out the Ghost Machine and switched it on. At first nothing happened, then the machine beeped and suddenly the room was different. Books, and clothes were spread around the room in excessive neatness, and the bed was made.

"BOY!!"

Owen jumped a foot in the air and felt a surge of fear well up in his chest. Heavy feet clattered on the stairs and there was a squeak. Owen looked to the side and saw a boy of ten pressing himself against the wall, his eyes shut and he seemed to be praying. Ivor strode over and, ignoring Owen of course, grabbed Ianto by the scruff of the neck.

"I thought I told you to clean the kitchen!"

"I… I did!"

"Oh really?" Ivor dragged Ianto down the hall and then he shoved him down the stairs. Ianto screamed in pain as he tumbled down the stairs. Owen almost yelled as the pain and the fear surged through his own body. He couldn't make himself follow Ivor down the stairs, only listened as Ivor dragged Ianto through the house and then he bellowed, "Is this what you call clean?"

Ianto answered, but Owen couldn't make out what he said. Then there was a thump and a cry from Ianto. Owen shook as the terror intensified inside his own chest, tears were falling down his cheeks and he wanted nothing more than to run and hide.

"Crying like a fucking baby now?" roared Ivor. "I'll teach you to cry!"

Owen dropped the Machine and he looked around. The room was bare again and all was quiet downstairs. Owen looked down at his hands. They were shaking so badly that he could barely pick up the machine and put it back in his pocket. He had to get out of the house, he had to run away from that monster downstairs. Later he would want to come back and kill him, but right now he was still feeling the terror and pain from Ianto's emotions and he realised he was running out of the front door before he had time to think.

He ran to a large oak tree and hid behind it as Ivor called after him. Owen was glad he'd parked his car so it was hidden from view. There was a moment of tense silence and Owen's mind screamed at him to run away. He gripped the branches of the tree tight, forcing himself to be still until Ivor closed the door. When he did, Owen slumped against the tree, wiping at his face. He felt like he was going to be sick. His little brother, his baby brother…

"Oh Christ." he gasped, wiping fresh tears. "Oh God… Ianto…"

The Machine beeped in his pocket. Owen frowned and took it out. Lights were flashing on it. Owen gasped as he was overwhelmed by a feeling of grief and loss. There was a scuffle in front of him and he looked up to see a slightly older Ianto than the first one, about thirteen, digging in the dirt. He had a split lip, which Owen realised he himself had given him, because, taking in his formal black suit, this had happened the day of their mother's funeral.

Tears were pouring unheeded down Ianto's cheeks as he dug like a dog with his hands. Soon he seemed satisfied with the hole he'd made because he sat back on his heels and picked up a small box wrapped in plastic which he put in the hole and then covered it up with the soil. He patted it so it was flat and then leaned forward and kissed the earth.

"Bye Owen." he murmured, before getting to his feet and running back to the house.

Owen stuffed the machine back into his pocket without taking his eyes off the spot where Ianto had buried the box and he began to dig into it, swearing as the old earth stuck stubbornly together until Owen used a stick to break it up. His hands covered in damp dirt, with God knows how many worms in it, Owen pulled out the box, still wrapped in plastic. Cradling it to his chest he ran to his car and climbed into it. He set the box on the floor of the passenger seat and he floored the car into motion, gripping the wheel tight to stop his hands from shaking.

* * *

Poor things.

Reviews are always appreciated.

Night's Darkness


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry about the long wait, hope you enjoy this!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

"You're a bastard Jack Harkness, d'you know that?"

Jack looked up in surprise to meet Ianto's furious eyes. He blinked, feeling nonplussed about what he could have done in the past hour since he and Ianto had gotten to work that could piss Ianto off that bad.

"Um… did I forget to use a coaster again?"

"You must either enjoy causing trouble, or you just want me to hate you."

"I put my shoes on the table?"

"You know bloody well what I'm talking about! Owen hasn't come in and the Ghost Machine is missing."

"Ah… that… to be honest I didn't know what he'd taken…"

"You bloody bastard! Why didn't you stop him?"

"You told me to leave it, to not interfere-"

"And of course Fucking Harkness only does what he's told when he realises he'll still get his way." Ianto's hands were shaking, and his eyes were wide. It had been a long time since he'd seen Ianto this mad. But Jack wondered if part of what he was seeing was also fear.

"Look-"

"Save it! I'm going to find him. And when I do, I'm going to consider a few things."

That, Jack did NOT like the sound of. "Like what?"

"Like whether I should try to transfer to Torchwood 2 or not."

"What? Wait a minute Ianto!" Jack was on his feet and chasing Ianto as the Welshman walked out the cog-wheel door. Unfortunately he wasn't able to catch up in time to stop Ianto from driving away.

* * *

Owen's hands were still shaking as he got out of the car and staggered up to his home. They made it difficult to unlock the door, but he managed, even with the box tucked under one arm. He managed to walk in and close the door and set the box on the table in front of his couch, before collapsing onto the couch, clutching his head in his hands.

"Fuck!" he hissed, summing up his life in a simple word.

His hands were still shaking as he finally worked up the courage to look at the box. He reached out and untied the knot of the plastic bag, then slid the wooden box out of the bag. It was about the size of a large shoebox and made of pine, that had been varnished. Carved into the lid was the word 'Ianto'.

Owen's throat seemed to close up. He jumped to his feet and ran to his bedroom. Throwing open his wardrobe doors, he shoved shoes and other crap out of the way until he reached the back of the wardrobe. There, in the corner, was a varnished pine box, with 'Owen' carved into the lid. He hauled it out and ran back to the table. He was panting hard, like he'd run a marathon as he tried to control himself while he set the second box beside the first one.

They matched.

"Shit!" Owen buried his head in his hands, and let out a sob as he absorbed the truth.

Ianto had cared.

It was clear. The box was perfectly preserved, lovingly polished. No one would care for something like that unless they cared, did they?

Their dad had made them for the boys the summer before their family had split. Ianto had hugged his with a wide grin even though it had almost been too big for him to hold. Then he'd fallen on his bottom.

Owen let out a sharp laugh that mingled with his sobs. The memory of his little brother tottering around like a drunk was bitterly funny. Owen felt an ache in his chest as he wished for the moment again.

Sniffing hard, Owen opened Ianto's box. And began to cry anew as he lifted out a ragged, well-hugged bear, dressed as a Doctor. He held the bear to his chest, curling up, and breathing in the scent of Ianto that still lingered on it. The bear's head flopped dangerously on its neck, and it looked like one of the arms had been carefully sewn back on it. But Owen knew this bear. It was his bear. The bear he'd wanted to be like when he was a boy.

Keeping the bear to his chest with one hand, the other pulled out more toys, some of which he recognised, including Duckie, the rubber duck Ianto had insisted on joining him every single bath time. It had been Owen's job to make him quack and peck at Ianto's little nose.

There were photos, of them when they were children, playing, or sleeping side by side, or throwing food at each other (Ianto had mushy peas in his hair).

Finally there was a letter, with Owen's name on the envelope, written in childish joint hand writing. Owen's hands shook again as he opened it and unfolded it. The paper smelt like their mum's perfume. The smell made Owen's stomach flip. The writing on the letter was the same childish loopy writing,

'_Dear Owen,_

_I know you hate me. I wish you didn't, but you do, and I get that. I get why you hate me. But I need you to know, someday, that I didn't have school when dad was sick. I wanted to go see him, and you. But Mam and Ivor wouldn't let me. I tried to convince them, I really did. I begged, I pleaded, I cried, I threw a tantrum, and I tried to run away. But nothing worked. And all I got for it was a beating from Ivor._

_Yes, he hits me. I'm sure you don't believe me, but he does. A lot. But he makes sure to only hit me where the bruises can be hidden, so Mam wouldn't know, and no one else could ask questions. I know I'm supposed to tell someone if something like that happens, but I know no one will believe me. Ivor's liked by everyone, he's well to do, whatever that really means. So I've kept quiet, for Mam's sake, because she loved Ivor, and I like her being happy. She was happy with him, and she smiled a lot. You probably don't want to know this, but she's got a lovely smile. It makes her eyes twinkle. _

_I know you hate her for leaving, for how she treated Dad and you, but I know Mam. I know she loved you too. She wanted to love Dad forever, but they just couldn't see eye to eye. She wanted things Dad didn't and she couldn't take the idea of being oppressed, which is how she saw Dad's actions. We both know Dad was a good man, but his ideas and Mam's were too different I think. Still I suppose that doesn't justify what she did to you. _

_I think she meant to keep in contact, but at first she was trying to establish a new life for herself and by the time she was feeling strong enough to reach out, too much time had passed. I know though, that she wanted to see you, be a mother to you, because I caught her crying over pictures of you more than once, although she always stopped whenever I went up to her. I don't know if you want me to tell you any of this, but I'm scared I'll never see you again, and that one day Ivor will hit me too hard, so I'm writing this to you. Owen, I think Mam was scared to contact you. I think she was scared that you'd reject her. So she put it off until it was too late and you hated her completely. _

_Do you remember the day we met in the park? I knew you as soon as I saw you, but I don't think you recognised me. I thought you'd hug me like you used to, but when you didn't, I didn't know what to do. You looked so angry with me when I said hello, did you hate me then? _

_I wish we could be friends, if not brothers Owen. I missed you when we moved to Wales, because I couldn't understand where you'd gone. Still I'd cuddle our Doctor bear and that always makes me think of you, so I felt better. _

_I don't know what to say to you. I mean, you probably don't care what I have to say. After what you said today at the cemetery, I know you want nothing to me. So why am I writing this letter? Maybe I just need to get this all out, but there's no one to talk to except Ivor and no way will I talk to him. How sad am I that I have no friends? Very sad I bet you think. I'm useless amn't I? I can't stand up for myself against anyone. Even when it's about someone I love, like Dad. He died and I did nothing. _

_I'm sorry Owen. I don't know what else to say, except I'm so sorry. _

_I want us to be brothers, I want to get away from Ivor, in case he decides beatings aren't enough –his hands seem to be a little too fond of wandering lately- God I'm scared. And so useless! I'm 13! I'm old enough to be able to handle stuff like this! So why can't I? Why can't I be as strong as you Owen? _

_I'm putting this letter away with Doctor Bear and other things from when we were brothers and I'm going to hide it all, bury it in the garden when Ivor goes to sleep. I need to put it away, I know that now. I need to put it away, accept that I won't get anything like it back. I'm not meant to have friends or a happy family. I'm not worth them. So I will put away this letter and Doctor Bear and say bye to that sort of life. I had it, I didn't appreciate it, so I lost it. If I get something like it again, I'll never let it go. _

_I want to end this letter properly, but I've no idea how. So I'll just say Goodbye Owen._

_Ianto'_

Owen set down the letter, his whole body shaking now. He blinked once, twice, three times before he lost control and broken down into a fit of sobs. He curled up into a tight ball and held the bear close to his face, burying his nose in its soft, worn material. He didn't stop sobbing until a hand touched his shoulder. With a shout he jumped to his feet and tackled his attacker, slamming them into the wall, pinning them by the throat.

"Owen!"

Owen froze, blinking through his tears to see Ianto staring at him with wide eyes. They stared at each other for several moments, neither sure what the other was going to do. A soft thump made them both jump and they looked to find that the Doctor Bear, which must have landed on the couch when Owen had jumped up, had fallen to the ground.

Eyes fixed on the bear, Owen released Ianto's throat before walking back to the couch and picking up the bear, cradling it in his hands. A sharp silence was hovering between the two men. Ianto hadn't moved from where he was standing against the wall. Owen could feel the sharp blue eyes staring at him, waiting for him to say something.

"You kept the bear." was all he could think of.

"Yeah… I… I didn't want to throw it away." said Ianto, his lilting voice soft, almost a whisper. Owen swallowed, his thumbs were rubbing over Doctor Bear's chest, as he slowly sat down on the couch again. Ianto stepped closer, but kept his distance.

"I read your letter." Owen looked up in time to see Ianto wince.

"That… that was written in a gloriously emo moment. You shouldn't-"

"You meant every fucking word on that page, don't you dare deny it." growled Owen, clutching Doctor Bear to his chest. Ianto fell quiet. Owen looked him over, taking in how his hands were clenched at the sides, and how tight his shoulders were. "Why'd you come looking for me?"

"I realised you'd taken the Ghost Machine, and I figured where you'd gone."

"Jack knew."

"I know, and I left him mulling over the concept of consequences." For the first time since arriving, Ianto smiled a little. "He thinks I'm going to request a transfer."

"He'll be shitting bricks by now."

"If I'm lucky."

"You know he will. He's all lovey dovey over you."

"You think?"

"Don't be thick Ianto."

Ianto looked away, pink flushing his cheeks. "I should…"

"Why'd you come?"

"I wanted to see… I wanted to make sure you were ok. Ivor's a big guy and you're a short tempered one. Bad combo."

"Well he doesn't know who I was. He thinks I was a guy whose car broke down and then bolted out of his house."

"Bolted?"

Owen pulled out the Ghost Machine from his pocket, dropping it on the table. "I saw." was all he said.

"Shit." murmured Ianto, finally coming close enough to sink into the chair opposite Owen. "What did you see?"

"He pushed you down the stairs."

"It was the one time."

"Doesn't give it any justification Ianto, and you know it!"

"It happened, I lived, it's done."

"No! It's not. I'm going to go back and kill him."

"And then what?"

"What?"

"What'll you do then? Hide his body? You're shit at that, that's why it's my job. Besides, what good will it do?"

"He deserves to be punished."

"Death isn't a punishment, it's an escape." hissed Ianto, hands clenching again. Owen blinked in surprise. "He doesn't deserve it."

"Did he… the letter, you said you were scared he'd… did he?"

Ianto looked away, swallowing hard, before getting to his feet and walking over to the large windows, resting on an arm against them. At length he spoke.

"Once. And the reason he never did it again was because…" he gave a mirthless laugh, "Was because I was shit at it."

"What?" Owen was on his feet in an instant.

"He said I was shit at it. That was the only reason he didn't do it again."

"I'll fucking ki-"

"I told you he doesn't deserve it!"

"Then I'll sick Janet on him! Let her have her way with him."

"I wouldn't do that to Janet, he tastes like piss."

Owen flinched, "Ianto-"

"Like I said yesterday Owen, don't pull a sudden big brother act with me. Not now."

"This isn't a big brother act, this is a decent human being reaction! Fuck Ianto!"

"Let it go Ow'n."

It was the way Ianto said Owen that made him stop. "What did you say?"

"I said it let go."

"No, the way you said my name."

"What about it?" Ianto gave him a narrow eyed look.

"You called me Ow'n. You haven't called me Ow'n since you were three."

"Oh… it was just a slip up." Ianto turned around, leaning against the windows. The sun was shining on him, and to Owen, highlighting how young and fragile the man was. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok. It'd be hell recruiting another doctor for Torchwood." Ianto made for the door. Owen stepped in his way. "What?"

"I don't know."

Ianto tried to side step him, "I have to get back I've-" Owen got in his way again. "What do you want Owen?"

"I really don't know."

"Then get out of my way." Ianto was beginning to look a little trapped, a little less controlled. Owen wondered what he'd have to do to crack that stiff exterior.

"No."

"Owen, I mean it! Get out of my way."

Owen stayed in front of Ianto, and then threw his arms around the taller man, holding him tight. He had no idea what he was doing, but he wasn't prepared to let Ianto walk out. Ianto went ridged in his grip as Owen held tight.

The next thing Owen knew, he was on his side, his jaw throbbing and Ianto was shouting at him,

"Don't you dare fuck with my head Owen Harper! You think this is a game? Some kind of sick joke! Don't you dare mess with my heart!" and he was running out of the apartment. Owen sat up, wincing as the door slammed shut, and wincing again as his jaw throbbed. He looked at the door, then looked around. Doctor Bear was lying on the ground again. Owen reached over and picked him up. He held Doctor Bear to his chest and buried his face in it, rocking back and forth like he was a child.

* * *

Next chapter up soon, I promise

Night's Darkness


	6. Chapter 6

So sorry for the long wait but between final exams that apparently decide my life and working on original work and dealing with nibbly new plot bunnies, I've no had much time to work on this fic.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Gwen and Tosh could not understand what had gone so wrong between Ianto, Jack and Owen that the three men were going out of their way to avoid one another. Well, more accurately, Owen was avoiding Ianto, Ianto was avoiding Owen and Jack and Jack was trying to get Ianto to talk to him, and was being rewarded with instant decaf with Soya milk.

Jack was not a happy bunny.

Yet it was hard to complain about it. All three of them, and Ianto was particularly good at this trick, were acting very professional, doing their jobs –Owen had probably done more work in the past two days than he had in two weeks. So the excuse of 'you're affecting the work place' didn't really work as a reason to confront them.

It didn't stop Gwen from trying to figure it all out, which only put Owen in a foul mood, drove Ianto to the archives, and Jack to a random roof. Tosh kept quiet, but her concerned glances at the three men were not missed. Ianto rewarded her discretion with her favourite cake.

In truth Ianto was doing nothing in the archives over half the time he was there. Nothing but relieving memories he'd buried all those years ago. The recollection of Ivor's hands gripping his hips, bruising him, of teeth sinking into his skin, and that voice ringing around his head. Ianto found himself getting lost in the memories for hours, only coming out of them when his comm. buzzed in his ear like an insect. Then he'd make an appearance in the Main Hub just long enough to avoid Owen and Jack, smile at Tosh, ignore Gwen's big questioning doe eyes and clear away dirty coffee mugs.

He hated the two men at the moment. Between them they'd dug out a part of Ianto's life he had tried so hard to box away. He didn't want to be seen as one of _those_ victims. Nothing was ever the same when something like that got out.

Ianto cursed himself for writing that letter.

"Stupid fucking, whiney teaboy." He growled, scratching over the soft inside of his wrist.

He'd never been a cutter, because he couldn't stand the idea of looking as imperfect on the outside as he was on the inside. He had to look perfect. It was expected of him. But there were ways to hurt himself without leaving marks. Starve himself –he'd had to set that punishment aside because everyone was watching him like a hawk, for various reasons- throw himself into work until he was exhausted and collapsed; hold his breath underwater until he was about to pass out and then resurface. Or there were the two he did the most.

The first was scratching. Digging in hard enough to hurt, but not enough to mark. He could do it anywhere, and could pass off any redness easy.

The other one was sex.

Jack seemed to like the idea that Ianto was naïve and tender, always treating him like a fragile gift. Ianto liked it too, when he was happy and enjoying Jack's attention. But Jack would probably wonder why Ianto would want to be rough, because, while they were kinky, they were never rough, and Jack clearly didn't think it was part of Ianto's nature.

So if Ianto needed to punish himself, he'd get out those jeans he'd worn when he first met Jack, go out and offer himself to the meanest looking guy he could find. He was good at spotting the one who would screw him raw, until he was bleeding. The feeling was familiar, but it was different, because unlike the first time, Ianto was in control of it.

Since meeting Jack, Ianto had only done it twice. The first time was after he'd gotten the job at Torchwood. He'd been so disgusted with himself, for lying, for being attracted to the man while his girlfriend was in a drug-induced coma, and being willing to sleep his way into the job.

The second time had been when Lisa had been killed by the team. Ianto had to suffer for failing her, for betraying the team, for betraying Jack.

That had been a good night, he'd barely been able to walk home that night. The ache had been with him for days every time he moved.

Ianto knew he was fucked up in the head but he refused to let Owen see it. He didn't need anyone, let alone his big brother, to look out for him. He didn't need anyone affecting his life anymore than it already had been.

* * *

Owen glared down at his paperwork, which Ianto wasn't even taking from him anymore, let alone finishing and correcting like he would usually. He wasn't able to focus on it, not when his brain continued to throw up images of his baby brother screaming for him as that bastard held him down. And Gwen was NOT helping with her curious and worried glances. Owen did not want her getting involved. Ianto would kill him if someone else, especially the girls, found out the truth about…

"Owen!" Jack's voice rang through the Hub, sounding so irritable, that even Owen as angry as he was, knew better than to snap back. "My office. Now."

Heaving a sigh, knowing exactly what this was about, Owen got to his feet and walked up to Jack's office, shutting the door behind him.

"We have to end this!" Jack spoke before Owen could even open his mouth. Owen was surprised at how angry Jack sounded. Maybe Ianto meant more than Owen had thought.

"You don't have to tell me! I'm the one he's really pissed at."

"Then why am I getting the crappy coffee?"

"Because you shouldn't have let me go off with the Ghost Machine. And I in turn, shouldn't have snooped. I should have let it alone, like always."

"So why aren't you getting punished? I'm not allowed near him."

"I am, by him refusing to acknowledge me."

"Since when has that ever bothered you?" snapped Jack, twitching behind his desk.

"Since he knows I want to be involved now, and by ignoring me he's denying me that."

"That's stupid!"

"Yeah, well, it's working, isn't it?"

Jack threw his hands up and he growled. "Well, what are we gonna do? This is getting in the way of work, and off the record, its hurting all of us. Ianto included."

"I don't know! I know what I want to do. I want to go and kill that son of a bitch Ivor, but Ianto told me to let it alone. He told me he didn't want me getting involved."

"What did Ivor do?"

"You really want to know?" Owen seriously doubted Ianto wanted anyone, especially Jack, to know what Ivor had done. In fact, if he told Jack, Ianto wouldn't just kill him. He'd kill him very, very slowly and painfully. But he needed to talk to someone, anyone, about what he knew. Keeping it to himself was driving him mad, and he knew Ianto knew it. Ianto understood people with such a fantastic intricacy, he knew exactly what to do to get his anger across with the slightest of things. God really only knew what he'd do if Owen told.

"Is it that bad?"

"It's worse."

Jack's whole demeanour changed. Suddenly he looked like a territorial bear. His eyes darkened and he leaned forward, menacingly. "What did he do to Ianto?" Owen could almost hear the 'my' before Ianto's name.

Owen passed a hand over his face and then leant forward, clasping his hands together and resting his arms on his thighs.

"He… he used to…" Damn, now that he had the opportunity to speak, the words were sticking in his throat. "He used to… hurt Ianto. Beat him up, a lot. Made him clean the house, and beat him if he didn't do it right. He… I saw him push Ianto down the stairs when I used the Ghost machine. And… and he…" Owen bit his lower lip trying to keep himself from letting out a sob, but he didn't quite manage it as he gasped out, "He raped my baby brother! He raped him! Oh… oh god Jack, I want to kill him. I want to tear him to pieces for hurting my baby brother. He was just a kid! Just a boy and he… he hurt him so bad." Owen buried his head in his hands as he sobbed. Jack was silent.

When Owen managed to get himself under some semblance of control he looked up again and found that Jack was staring at him with such intensity that Owen recoiled from him. Jack hadn't moved.

"Jack?"

"Get the Ghost Machine."

"What?"

"You and me, we're gonna take a little trip. Someone needs their just deserts and I always like to personally deliver such things." Jack got to his feet and grabbed his coat, shrugging it on, his hands stabbing out of the sleeves in a vicious manner, belying the cool expression on his face. Owen stared at him for another few seconds before jumping to his feet and running out of Jack's office and down to his own desk, where he'd kept the Ghost Machine, being too uncomfortable to give it back to Ianto. Since Ianto was avoiding him, that included not cleaning his desk, so it had been left.

"Owen, what's going on?" Tosh's voice was soft, as if she already had her suspicions.

"Goin' out. Don't tell Ianto."

"Owen, wait-"

"Not now Gwen!" If there was one thing Owen really didn't need right now it was one of Gwen bloody Cooper's speeches about whatever was on her list of human aspects to ram down people's throats today. He grabbed his leather jacket and hurried to catch up with Jack who was striding to the SUV ahead of him. They got into the car and Jack gave Owen a sharp look as if to warn him that if he was having second thoughts, this was his only chance to back out. Owen glared back at him, he would not let Ivor get away with this. He would not let that son of a bitch live in any form of contentment after what he'd done.

For a moment he thought about Ianto telling him to let it alone. But then the adult Ianto glaring at him morphed into a little boy, with a pouty lower lip reaching out for him and whimpering 'Ow'n.'

No, Owen would not let this stand! He would make that monster wish he'd never been born. And with Jack, Owen knew he really could do it.

"I want him to choke on his just deserts. I want it to fill him up until it kills him. He deserves nothing less."

Jack nodded and turned the key.

* * *

Oh dear. Trouble ahead.

Reviews are love!

Night's Darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

Curse the muse who created writer's block, curse them! And curse work with their arm injuring activities!

Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The minute Ianto emerged from the Archives he knew something was up. For one thing, it was way too quiet, and there was no sign of Jack or Owen. Tosh and Gwen were avoiding his gaze. Ianto sighed. It figured.

'_Bastards'_

"Tosh?" Ianto's almost sweet tone made Tosh flinch as she looked at him.

"Yes Ianto?"

"Where're Jack and Owen?"

"I don't know." Whenever Tosh lied, her lower lip gave the faintest of trembles. It was unnoticeable to most people, but Ianto wasn't most people. He was paid to notice the details. This time, Tosh's lip did not tremble, so she wasn't outright lying to him. She didn't know where they were. A beat too late, "I think they went to check out a Weevil nest." Tremble.

"Tosh… when did they leave?" Ianto maintained that sickly sweet tone, too angry to care if he was scaring Toshiko.

"About… about three hours ago."

'_Shit!'_

"I see." Ianto glanced at Gwen, who immediately ducked her head and tried to look busy and like she hadn't been listening. Ianto swallowed, rolling his lips between his teeth before saying, "Well. I have to go out too. If you see them, tell them I'll be back soon too. I just need a few things."

"Ianto!" Tosh jumped to her feet as Ianto strode down into the Autopsy Bay, grabbed a few things, stuffing them in a bag, and then walked towards the garage where his car was parked. "Ianto, _what_ is going on? Is this something to do with you and Owen being brothers?"

"Well, Tosh I can wholeheartedly say that if you want an answer, why don't you ask Owen, as it's clear that that arsehole can't keep his mouth shut when it comes to things that don't concern him." Thinking back on it, the falsely cheerful tone was probably just that bit creepier than he'd intended, but Ianto was far too angry, and far too panicked to care about his best friend. He threw the bag into the car and got in, slamming the door with more force than was strictly necessary.

"Ianto wait!" Tosh looked completely panicked as Ianto drove away. Ianto would make it up to her later.

'_Those bastards!' _Ianto growled as he thought about Jack and Owen. He knew where they were going, and a quick check on his navigation system confirmed it. Yes, those two were absolute bastards. Hadn't Ianto said to let it alone? Had Ianto not been clear enough? Apparently not. No! They couldn't do this to him! They couldn't take away this one thing from him. He wouldn't let them. He couldn't, he just couldn't give this last thing of his up. He'd given them, especially Jack, too much already.

'_No, no, no, no, NO!'_

* * *

Owen shifted in his seat. His hands were sweaty around the Ghost Machine. Jack had been stony silent since they'd left. Owen was afraid to break the tension, in case it caused Jack to crash and kill them both. That was something he could do without. Although, when Ianto got his hands on them, it probably wouldn't matter. Ianto was definitely going to kill them for this.

Owen found himself wondering why he was doing this when he knew Ianto didn't want him to. Come to think of it, why didn't Ianto want to get back at that bastard Ivor? Maybe he was still scared of him. Yeah, that made sense. If Ianto was still afraid of Ivor, and really despite all the shit Ianto had seen, a childhood fear, trauma and monster was harder to get over. Owen knew that, he had to deal with it himself. He dealt with aliens and he still hated spiders. So Owen and Jack were doing the right thing. Taking Ivor down would help Ianto move past him, would allow him to see that Ivor was a pathetic human and not an unstoppable monster.

At last the silence between them got to Owen and he looked at Jack, "Reckon Ianto knows what we're doing yet?"

"Probably." Jack grunted.

"Think he'll be mad?"

Jack didn't answer for a moment. "What do you think?"

"Probably."

"Yeah."

"He'll be pissed as all hell with you."

"Don't worry, I can handle it." Jack gave him a bright, false, smile.

Even if he cuts you off sex."

"It'll be worth it."

"What if he never does your paperwork again?"

"Still worth it."

"Cleaning?"

"I'm not helpless."

"Coffee?"

"… he wouldn't go that far."

"Might put you on decaf."

"Never. He's too devoted to his coffee machine."

"You sure?"

"Owen, let's maintain an ominous silence until we arrive."

Owen managed to smirk as he looked out the window.

"Might give you week old dredges."

"Owen!"

* * *

"So this is the place? Gotta say, it's unimpressive in the cold light of day." Jack looked around, raising an eyebrow at the sight of a hole by a tree. "He's got a dog?"

"No… that was me."

"You?"

"Ianto… buried a box of things from when we were kids. The Ghost Machine showed me him burying it."

"What it hold?"

Owen shrugged, looking at the hole rather than Jack. "Just some stuff. Nothing important."

Jack raised an eyebrow as he walked towards the door. "Ready?"

Owen drew in a deep breath. "Yeah. Let's do this."

Jack knocked on the door, hard.

As they waited for the door to open, Jack heard a robin twittering in a nearby tree. It was a pretty sound, but it seemed very out of place at the home of a monster. He lifted his hand to knock again, when the door flew open.

In his prime, Ivor Jones was probably a handsome guy. He still had the remnants of attractiveness clinging to his face like free-climbers clinging to a cliff. But now his belly was swollen from too much beer, his hair was matted and falling out. His eyes were mean and little, the colour of mud. His cheeks were layered with wrinkles and stubble. His clothes were covered in food and other unmentionable things.

"Ivor Jones?" Jack put on his best 'the Captain is pissed' voice.

"Yeah?"

"Oh good." Jack's hand shot out and grabbed Ivor's throat. "I just wanted to be sure. You know how awkward things can get if you deal out the punishments to the wrong guy."

"What the fuck?" Ivor pulled at Jack's hand, but Jack just squeezed tighter, backing Ivor into the house. Owen followed after him and shut the door.

"See, we got a bone to pick with you. It's about Ianto."

Ivor's eyes widened in some understanding, and he grinned like a wolf. "So the boy finally squeaked."

Jack resisted the urge to just snap Ivor's neck now and be done with it. "The correct term is squealed, and no, he didn't. But it's good to know you don't deny it." Jack raised his arm a little, forcing Ivor, who was nearly as tall as Jack, to walk on his tip toes as he backed him into the sitting room. With as much control as he could muster, Jack threw him into a kitchen chair that was by the armchair. Probably for Ivor to rest his feet on. "I always find these things go so much better when the criminal confesses to his crimes. Means we can skip the interrogation and go straight to the punishment."

"Punishment? You can't do anything to me. The laws keep you from it." Ivor smirked. Jack could see the fear in his eyes though.

"We're Torchwood."

"What's that? A band?"

"Oh… wouldn't you like to know. All that you need to understand is that we're outside the law."

"And just who are you?"

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

"And I'm Doctor Owen Harper." snarled Owen, stepping forward. Ivor's eyes widened a little, before he grinned.

"Well isn't that precious. Owen Harper is here to avenge his baby whore –I mean, brother."

You son of a bitch!" Owen barely felt the pain of his fist connecting with Ivor's face. Jack grabbed him and pulled him away. Owen opened his mouth to protest, but Jack shook his head, giving him a firm look. It said 'Patience'.

Jack let Owen go and grabbed Ivor, straightening him up and pulling out some restraints. He bound Ivor to the chair as tight as he could.

"What are you gonna do now? Beat me while I'm bound to a chair? Very honourable."

"And what would you know of honour?" hissed Owen.

Ivor smirked, "Why do you think I married your mother?"

Owen's lip curled, "You had better watch what you say Jones."

"Or what?"

"Or you'll find out how bad an idea it is to goad a morally questionable doctor and a captain who's had plenty of time to learn exactly where it hurts."

"Oh… I'm so scared."

"You will be." Jack took the Ghost Machine and shoved it into Ivor's bound hands. The Ghost Machine beeped and then Ivor went still for a few moments, before gasping and dropping the Ghost Machine. He looked around in alarm and then up at Jack and Owen who stared down at him with twin sets of dark eyes.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Tell us what you saw." commanded Jack.

"What was that!" shouted Ivor. Now he really did look worried.

"Tell us what you saw!" Jack reached out and grabbed Ivor's throat, "Tell us what you saw."

"I… I saw… the boy."

"Ianto."

"I saw him, and he was a kid again… I saw me."

"And what did you do? Answer me!"

"I saw me beat him. He hadn't done his chores again, lazy brat!"

Owen couldn't believe Ivor didn't seem to regret his actions, only shock that he'd seen them. Jack seemed to realise that perhaps the Ghost Machine wouldn't work like they'd thought, so he took it and set it aside, leaning forward so he was looming over Ivor, but keeping an almost perky grin on his face.

"Well how about this? Ianto was stuck with you… what? About 12 years? So why don't we punish you for each year by doing something different each hour. Can you imagine what state you'll be in after 12 hours of torture? Hmm… how many fingers will you still have by the time I'm done with you? How much of your face will be untouched? Not a whole lot I'd say. See… I'm amazing at this sort of thing. Used to be an old job, torturing people."

Owen tried to look as if this wasn't news to him, all the while wondering just what he'd unleashed in Jack by telling him what Ivor had done. Now he really wasn't sure this was a good idea. Ianto might forgive him, even thank him for punishing Ivor, but if this was a side of Jack that the much older man couldn't put back where he'd dug it up from, then Ianto might never forgive him. Could Owen find himself loosing the brother he'd only just really started to find again?

Ivor screamed, shaking Owen from his thoughts. He saw Jack doing something to Ivor's back, compressing a nerve no doubt, and Ivor was howling like a dog.

"You know what they say Ivor? In the country, no one can hear you scream!" Jack's eyes were manic and he jerked his arm, forcing another scream from Ivor's mouth. Owen's eyes widened in horror as he realised he was in way over his head.

'_Oh God, Ianto… what do I do now?'_

* * *

Thoughts? Suggestions for punishments for Ivor? Theories on what Ianto's gonna do if/when he finds them?

Ginger


	8. Chapter 8

Hi guys!

I'm actually off tomorrow to England for five days so I can see David Tennant and Patrick Stewart in Hamlet (squeeeeeeeeeeeee) but I really wanted to post before I went away, plus I want to take my mind off my final exams results coming out TOMORROW!! Ack! Yeah, a literal see-saw of good and bad. Anyway, sorry if this isn't up to its usual standards, but I did rush a bit.

Enjoy though!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Tosh paced back and forth through the Hub nibbling on her nails –a habit she'd defeated at aged 12, which Torchwood had woken from a fitful sleep- trying to decide what to do. Jack and Owen had switched their phones off, Ianto hadn't answered his, the three men were all outside Cardiff now, and neither Tosh nor Gwen knew anything about what this was all about.

"It must be something about Owen and Ianto being brothers." she muttered.

"Yeah, but that's been like a bomb ready to go off since we found out." Gwen pointed out, playing with her pen. "So what could have set them off?"

"I don't know!" snapped Tosh, unable to contain herself in her worry. There was a beat of silence where Tosh knew she should apologise, but she was too riled up to do so. Then Gwen spoke again,

"Well, let's try to figure out why Ianto and Owen don't act like brothers and maybe we can go from there."

"Good idea. Gwen, bring up their files, see if there's anything there."

"Ok."

"I'll look up the owner of the house Jack and Owen have stopped at, and we'll see if there's a connection."

"Do you think we should try calling them again?"

"No, there's no point, the three of them are too stubborn to let us try to talk them out of whatever's going on."

"True."

"I swear, is it a male thing that makes them not use their brains?"

"Well, in Owen's case, yeah. But Jack and, Ianto especially, are usually reasonable."

"So whatever this is, it's enough to send Ianto, who is very rational and cool headed, into a rage. I haven't seen him like that since-" Tosh bit her lip and shared a look with Gwen. The other woman knew exactly what she was talking about. Tosh wondered just how long Lisa's ghost would haunt the Hub, despite Ianto's letting go of her.

"Well, Ianto's clearly been messing with his file because there's nothing to connect him to Owen. Also, he's been arrested before. Shoplifting? Weird."

"Wonder what he lifted."

"Doesn't say. Owen's file registers his mother having the same name as Ianto's. There's no mention of a father on Ianto's, but his stepfather is Ivor Jones."

"That's the owner of the house Jack and Owen are at."

"Why would they go there? Ivor Jones has a clean record. There's no reason to go there the way they did."

Tosh had a horrible thought as she stared at the picture of Ivor Jones. "What if he's only got a clean record because no one ever reported him?"

"Tosh?"

"There's something about him… something that makes chills go down my back."

Gwen looked at the picture and nodded, "I know what you mean. You think… you think he maybe hurt Ianto? When he was a child?"

"I have a feeling. Don't you?"

"There's no evidence for it Tosh."

"You feel it though, don't you?"

Gwen bit her lip and nodded, eyes wide. Her policewoman's instincts had never failed her before, and she just knew that something with Ivor Jones was very, very wrong.

* * *

Ivor's screams had died to hoarse cries after an hour. Jack had stopped toying with his nerves and had slowly broken his fingers and thumb on his left hand, bending the final digit backwards and then twisting, achingly slowly. Owen had tried to keep himself from throwing up.

"How does it feel?" demanded Jack, looming over Ivor, teeth bared in a feral grin, "How does it feel to be small and helpless? Like you did to Ianto!"

"Fuck you!" whispered Ivor, panting through the pain.

"Oh, you'll have to wait a while before we get to that." laughed Jack, reaching down and grabbing Ivor between the legs and squeezing hard. Owen's eyes widened and he realised he was shaking.

"Jack? Jack, can I talk to you?" he ventured, feeling like a frightened kid. If Ianto saw Jack like this, God knows what would happen. He'd certainly be as terrified as Owen was.

"We're just getting started Owen, why stop now?" sneered Jack. "How about a hammer to the nose? People are so sensitive about their noses. Then again," Jack pretended to think, "The amount of pain that comes from a bump on it can be unbelievable… or! Do you know what might work better than a hammer? A beer bottle. You ever see the movie Pan's Labyrinth, Ivor? Brilliant movie, all in Spanish, set during the Spanish Civil War. It's about a little girl and magic and all sorts of scary things. But one of the bits I always find the best, is this moment when the Captain is called out to interrogate these two men, who are babbling about hunting rabbits. Eventually the Captain takes his beer bottle and uses it to smash the younger guys face in. The nose is crushed, the eye pierce, and it's just amazing what they can do with movies these day. Of course, they both get shot then and it turns out they really were hunting rabbits. Always the way, isn't it Ivor? The innocent get dealt the punishment the guilty should suffer."

Ivor's eyes were wide as he watched Jack wander around, as casual as his tone. Owen didn't want to consider that his expression might match Ivor's, but it was probably the case.

"Jack!"

"Hmm?" Jack spun slowly on his heels, giving Owen a look that reminded him of an evil doll. All wide and empty eyed, with painted smile and cheeks.

"I need to talk to you."

"Well then say it, I'm kinda in the middle of something here."

Owen narrowed his eyes, "Do you even remember why we're here?"

"What? Of course I do. To make this evil son of a bitch suffer."

"Why?"

"Because he hurt Ianto." Jack's eyes flickered as his brow creased. Owen knew he'd confused Jack, which was good, because it gave him a more reasonable mind set.

"Really? Looks to me like you're just torturing for the sake of torture. I came here for justice, not bloody violence for its own sake."

"You said you wanted him dead, wanted him to suffer."

"Yeah, for Ianto. Not for me. At least… I told myself that. So tell me Jack. Are you doing this for Ianto? Or for yourself."

Jack's whole face tightened and Owen realised he was in danger of being attacked too. Then Jack jerked his head, whirled around and grabbed Ivor's throat, squeezing hard,

"You don't like it, do you? You can't stand feeling so vulnerable, so scared. And that's what you did to our Ianto."

"Brat deserved it, always snivelling, always wanting his mummy, so weak and useless-"

"Don't you dare talk about him like that! Ianto is worth a hundred of you. Even after all the shit you did to him he's still one of the kindest, gentlest, most generous man I've ever met. And I've met a lot of men!" Jack's face would have made the Doctor scared, but Ivor… Ivor just smirked.

"Have you had him then?"

"What?"

"Have you had him? You know, tasted him, made him beg? I sure as hell hope he's improved since I had my go. For a Nancy boy he sure was shit at it."

Owen's vision narrowed to just Ivor's smirk and he lunged forward, knocking Jack out of the way. All thoughts of calming Jack down went out the window. He knocked Ivor over and began to punch him in the face, wanting to make him scream, to just stop fucking smirking!

"Owen!" Jack pulled him away, half carrying him as Owen flailed, trying to reach the bastard.

"Ow'n, stop!"

Owen and Jack froze. As one body, Jack still had his arms around Owen's torso, they turned around. Ianto stood in the doorway, his suit immaculate as always. A bag hung loose in his grip and his eyes were sharp as swords as they cut into Jack and Owen.

"Ianto?"

Ianto said nothing as he stepped into the room, his eyes taking in Jack and Owen shaking with adrenaline, then Ivor, flat on his back, still tied to the chair, with a bloody face. Ianto sighed, a deep sigh of resignation and exasperation. His eyes flicked back to Jack and Owen.

"I told you to leave it."

"He deserves punishment. He deserves to suffer." Owen hissed, shaking Jack's grip off himself.

"That is not for you to decide." Ianto's voice was soft, but sharp, like a school teacher telling off two stupid boys.

"Then who is it to?" demanded Jack, straightening his shirt. Owen staggered over to Ivor and straightened him up on the chair again.

"Me." Ianto's voice had lowered to a growl. Ivor snorted.

In a flash Ianto had shoved Owen away and grabbed Ivor's throat. "You do not have permission to speak!"

"Grown a backbone boy?" Ivor sneered.

"I'm not a boy, and you will keep your mouth shut, before I put a bullet through it." Something in Ianto's eyes made Ivor stay quiet.

"Go on Ianto, punish him!" He deserves it." urged Owen, relieved that Ianto didn't seem ready to shoot them all… yet.

"I told you that is not for you to decide."

"Ianto, what he did to you… he raped you."

"I know! I was there, remember? But I will not punish him because you say I should. I told you to let it alone! It's my life Ow'n, and you've not been a part of it for years, And I won't have you, Jack or this shit making decisions for me." Ianto's voice had risen to a shout. "I make the decisions and I decided no! But you couldn't accept that, could you? You couldn't accept my choice because it wasn't what you wanted. Well, fuck you Owen! This isn't about you, it's about me and my choices. I will not have my life turned upside down again because someone else made all the decisions for me."

Owen jumped when he hit the wall, realising he'd been backing away from Ianto as his little brother, standing before him with blazing blue eyes, a furious expression and a smart suit. Nothing like the little boy who'd hugged his special box and fallen on his bum in his excitement.

"Ianto…" gasped Jack, trying to form words and failing spectacularly.

"You're just incredible Jack! This was none of your business, and in fact, I'd hoped that if Owen went to you, you'd be the one to make him see sense, because I thought you knew me well enough, and cared about me enough to respect my wishes. Clearly I was mistaken on both cases, sir, because this," Ianto gestured at Ivor, "This is not what I wanted. I never wanted this to be brought up. I wanted to act like he never existed. But you wouldn't let me."

Ianto pulled out a gun from his jacket and pointed it at Owen and Jack. His hands were steady, despite the tremor in his voice. Both men stiffened their backs and held up their hands.

"Ianto, what are you doing? You're pointing the gun at the wrong guys."

"Really? Right now I really can't see a difference! I just see a trio of petty men all of whom couldn't keep their self-centred anger to themselves and had to hurt someone else to feel better."

"We did this for you!"

"No! You did this for yourselves, and you justified it by shifting the blame to me. I refuse to be the justification to inhuman behaviour."

"So… what are you going to do now Ianto?"

Ianto pressed his lips together and swallowed hard. Almost choking on his voice, he said,

"The only thing you all have left me."

Owen barely had time to wonder what that could mean when Ianto fired two shots. Owen felt a bite of pain and then there was only darkness.

* * *

Hmmm…. What an interesting development. (evil laugh)

Wish me luck on my results, I really need it.

Ginger


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry this is so late, but I've had almost no energy to write, plus I've had starting collage on my mind. Hope you like this.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

When Owen came back to consciousness he found that the ground he was lying on was shaking.

'_Earthquake?'_ he wondered, trying to pry his eyes open. What had happened? Had the Rift exploded and rocked the planet. No. That was just plain stupid. Especially when it was now clear that he was actually in a car and that was what was causing the shaking.

Groaning, Owen lifted his head and peered around. He recognised the back of the SUV with ease, and Gwen's hair and pale cheek from the angle he was lying at.

"Gwen?"

Gwen jumped, but managed to keep control of the car.

"Awake are you?"

"Wha' happened?"

"I was about to ask you the same bloody question Owen. Tosh and I are being to panic over where you, Jack and Ianto have gone, when we get a call from Ianto. He tells us to come pick you two and the SUV up from where he's leaving it and that he would see us all tomorrow. Tosh and I sped out to find you and Jack passed out in the SUV –Ianto left us a note saying you were tranquilised of course- and no sign of Ianto himself. Now what the bloody hell is going on Harper?"

"Where's Jack?"

"In the boot. I think Ianto wanted to make sure he couldn't do anything when he woke up."

"So… he locked Jack up in the boot where we usually keep the Weevils."

"Drugged and tied up for good measure. I think Ianto gave him extra, since you're up first. Now answer me Owen! We're really worried about Ianto."

As Owen's foggy memory began to clear he felt a cold, slimy dread spread out down his back.

"Oh, Christ! Turn around!"

"What?!"

"I said turn around, we have to go back."

"Oh no you don't Mr. Harper. No! Ianto gave me strict instructions to take you both back to the Hub, and since clearly you two have screwed up somehow, I'm going to trust his judgement."

"Ianto's judgement is completely impaired."

"How so Owen? What were you two doing?"

Owen huffed and sighed and grunted as he sat up properly and leaned forward so he was almost resting his chin on Gwen's shoulder. "Look, I can't really go into it, but Ianto's in no position to be left on his own, and well… ok, yes, I screwed up and it's probably for the best that Jack's in the boot and heavily drugged, all things considered, but we have got to go back Gwen."

Gwen sighed, briefly looking him in the eyes before nodding and tried to make a U-turn on the country road. Owen noted Tosh driving her own car in front of them, just as the car let out a loud beep and suddenly Gwen wasn't the one driving.

"What the hell?" demanded Gwen, trying to stop the wheel from returning the SUV to the straight path it had been on since Owen had awoken. She tried to get the car to turn, but the wheel locked and the GPS flashed a direct route to the Hub.

"Route locked in." chimed a feminine voice.

"Shit! Don't tell me this thing is driving itself. Why didn't I know it could do that?"

"You? I didn't know it could do that and I've been in Torchwood a lot longer than you Cooper. Ianto must have done it, damn it! I'm gonna kill him."

Gwen took her feet off the pedals and her hands off the wheel. The SUV continued along its path without a single reaction. "That's like something out of Men In Black." She sounded impressed. Owen probably would have agreed had he not been so pissed off.

"Buggar, buggar, buggar. Give me a comm. I wanna ask Tosh if we can disable it."

"I can't. The comm.'s down."

"Fabulous." sighed Owen. He had to give Ianto credit. The man was thorough. It was probably a good thing Ianto was –technically at least for the moment- on their side.

"What do we do?"

"What choice do we have? We have to sit it out and hope Jack doesn't come to until we reach the Hub. I don't want to deal with him until I can put at least a desk between us."

"Just what does that mean?"

"It means that Jack is a very scary man when he's angry and that is all I will say on the matter."

Gwen huffed and slouched in the driver's seat. Owen shifted and glanced around the SUV before saying,

"So… do we keep any DVDs in this thing? Otherwise this'll be a very long, awkward trip."

Gwen growled.

* * *

To say Jack was hysterical would be an inaccurate description of what he was, but pissed just didn't cover the way he was ranting and raging. His normally perfect hair was being abused by his hands pulling at the strands, his eyes were verging on wild and his smile had been left in a black hole or something equally unobtainable.

Owen would have understood all that, but he was angry and worried himself, not to mention exasperated as Jack's rants had pretty much told the girls enough to realise just what they'd done. While neither seemed all that upset over their actions on Ivor, they were angry that the two men hadn't listened to Ianto. Owen wondered if he and Jack were alone in their thickness. The evidence was mounting against them.

"Jack will you shut up!" snapped Gwen after an hour. "You bollixed this up and now Ianto's missing. All that yelling isn't going to help us find him."

"While you've been ranting I've been trying to find him, but he's almost as good on computers as me. I can't track him or even guess where he is. But whatever he's doing, he's erased Ivor Jones."

"Erased?"

"There's absolutely no record that he ever existed. No bank records, no birth certificate, nothing. And here's the really worrying part."

Tosh pulled up what looked like Google Earth. She zoomed in on a specific area, and said, "Recognise this place?"

"Nope."

"You should. You were just there."

Owen's eyes widened as he realised that he was looking at the location for Ivor Jones' house. Only there was no house. It was an empty bit of land. "What the-"

"This image was taken twenty minutes ago. As you can see there's no sign of any house or there ever being a house. And the records agree. There was never a house there."

"There fucking was! We were in it!"

"Ianto's obviously been busy." grunted Jack. He managed to look worried, appalled and impressed all at once.

"Jack, what do you think Ianto will have done with Ivor? Do you think he's killed him?"

"Ianto's not a killer."

"Well then what has he done?"

"I don't know!" snapped Jack, turning away from them. "I don't know. All I know is that Owen and I have gone too far for him. Something inside him has snapped."

"Do you think he's a danger to anyone else?"

"No. To himself? That's a different matter entirely. Ianto's an introvert. He doesn't take things out on others, he takes them out on himself, even if it's not his fault."

"So… you think he might hurt himself?"

"I wouldn't be surprise."

"Fuck!" yelled Owen, slamming his fist on the desk. "We have to find him."

"Oh, you think big bro?" demanded Jack.

"Don't you dare Harkness."

"I will dare."

"You can't dare. You went just as far as I did, maybe further."

"You could have stopped me."

"I thought you'd kill me if I tried."

"Just admit you wanted him to suffer."

"There's a difference between wanting something and seeing it for yourself."

"Just stop it the pair of you. I don't want another word out of either of you. You've both done more than enough!" snapped Gwen, almost quaking with rage. Owen wondered if she knew just how mother-hen-ish she looked right now. Tosh looked almost equally motherly. Since when did they act like that with Ianto?

'_Perk of being the baby of the group probably.'_ He realised. _'Doesn't hurt that he can look sad and puppyish when he wants to.'_

"Look, Ianto said he would be back tomorrow. Maybe we should trust that." said Tosh, nibbling her lower lip. "I mean, he's reliable, even in the worst of times."

"This isn't a bad alien Tosh. This is-"

"Yes, Jack, we know. But I think Tosh is right. We'll let Ianto come back of his own accord tomorrow. If he doesn't show up by the end of the day, we'll put out a search. But if Ianto doesn't want to be found…"

The truth was they were pretty powerless. And that was a little scary as they realised just how much power Ianto had to completely neutralise them simply by disappearing off the map.

There was silence. Then Gwen broke it.

"We should just go home."

They all nodded. But no one moved. They all stayed where they were. Willing to wait until Ianto came back. None of them knew what they would do, but they knew they couldn't leave.

The hours passed. Gwen texted Rhys, telling him the truth, without invasion to Ianto's privacy, and he said he understood. Tosh barely looked away from her computer screen. Owen hung around the autopsy bay and cleaned it all over, so it sparkled. Jack brooded in his office, staring into space. They just willed the young man to walk through the doors.

At six thirty the next morning, Ianto arrived. Dressed in an impeccable suit, hair neat, and face blank, he looked so calm that if they hadn't known, it would have been like any other day.

"Good morning." he called, barely reacting to the fact that they were all there, which was not normal practise at all. "Coffee."

Each of them wanted to speak, but considering how they'd been expecting a mess of a man, or at least… something, they could not find the words to say what they had to say. So they just nodded. Ianto smiled and went over to the coffee machine and soon the smell of fresh coffee permeated the air. The coffee was perfect, Ianto looked fine and the team could not have been more troubled by these two facts.

* * *

What's Ianto done? "ominous music"

Night's Darkness


	10. Chapter 10

**I think a fair warning is in order: **This is almost definitely rated R, possibly verging on NC:17 and it's not a nice chapter. Ianto is very screwed up. That's all I'll say because I don't want to ruin it, but please consider yourselves warned. I don't want to upset or freak anyone out.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Two whole weeks of tension and worry took its toll on Gwen and Tosh, both of whom looked ready to kill someone. Preferably Owen or Jack since this was all their fault. Ianto on the other hand was sweeter than ever, bringing them little cakes and pastries and ensuring that absolutely no blood got into their caffeine system. He was smiles and chat and, quite frankly, it freaked the women out far more than anything else he could have done.

Owen and Jack were trying to keep a lid on their panic as they searched high and low –with Tosh and Gwen's help of course- for Ivor Jones. But, short of going to every single house in the country, possibly the world, nothing they did had found him, or any evidence that he'd ever existed. There wasn't even a printed birth certificate or photo to be had. Ivor Jones officially did not exist. Neither did the house he'd lived in. Owen had gone back to the property and found it blank. There was nothing there to suggest a house had once stood there. There weren't even rope marks on the branch of the tree where the swing had been. Where Owen had dug like a dog to find the precious box which he now kept on a shelf in his flat beside his own, which was shamefully empty of anything to do with Ianto or their mum, the soil was flat and compacted, like it hadn't been touched.

As Owen had stood there he'd had that creepy sensation that he was loosing his mind. He could remember things that did not exist, and if it weren't for Jack, he probably would have assumed he'd dreamt it all or something. It was all very creepy. Too creepy for him.

But what was even creepier, was that Ianto had gone back to treating him like he had before any of this started. Before the team had found out they were related, before Ivor became more than a man who their mum had married. And any time Owen had tried to talk to him, the words had stuck in his throat and Ianto had swiftly moved them onto a separate topic.

As for Jack, he'd tried to talk to Ianto and had turned off the Harkness charm, knowing something more genuine was required for this. But Ianto had smiled, made a mild joke about his stopwatch and somehow Jack had found himself sharing his bed with the young Welshman that night. Only here, with their clothes gone and their bodies hungry did Ianto show any sort of oddity. He acted enthusiastic, but it was obvious he wasn't. There was something missing from his usual eagerness for the fun and passion. As they lay together, Jack realised it was like Ianto was acting each step out to a perfect instruction. And while he might have enjoyed it a little, there had not been the affection –love- that had been there before. That had made Jack feel very ill. Since then, he'd been careful not to give Ianto another opportunity to do that. He couldn't stand the idea of Ianto lying with him, but not actually wanting or enjoying it. It made him feel like he was as bad as Ivor.

"Jack! Tosh and I are going now, we need a break from this." announced Gwen, as she strode in the door. "It's getting too hard Jack. You and Owen need to do something."

"Don't you think we've tried? But Ianto's completely blocking us. Everything we do is ignored, diverted or side-stepped."

"Well don't let him do that then! Force him to talk, make him tell you what he's done. For the love of God Jack we're all going crazy. We need to know what Ianto did so we can fix it."

"Fix it?"

"Look, whatever he did, it's killing him. Look at how he's acting. He's never been so attentive to me and Tosh. I think he's trying to make up for something. Something as bad as Lisa, because this is the same sort of thing. He was so apologetic and helpful, trying to apologise and make it right by doing even more for us than usual. This is the same thing, only I don't think he can do it with you and Owen. That's why we're the ones getting special treatment and you're not."

"So… are you saying that because Owen and I… did what we did, we're getting treated as normal and you're getting extra special treatment?"

"Yes. Although it doesn't sound as bad as it is when you say it like that."

"I know. And so does Ianto. He's too damn clever not to realise how much this is driving me and Owen up the wall."

"Look Jack, I don't care what you have to do. You take that boy and you save him before he kills himself! I'm really getting scared for him."

"Ianto's strong, he wouldn't-"

"Even the strongest people have breaking points Jack. I think Ianto's reached his."

Jack stared at Gwen feeling the fear of loosing a teammate well up inside his chest. He nodded to her, but couldn't find his voice. Gwen gave his shoulder a squeeze before walking out, all but dragging Tosh out of the Hub. The Asian woman was even more worried about Ianto than Gwen was and seemed to have adopted a mother-hen attitude of never letting him out of her sight. It would do her good to take a break. She was clearly exhausted by it all.

Realising that, Jack knew just how to get Ianto to talk.

* * *

"Where's he gone?" demanded Owen when, after explaining the plan to him, he and Jack went looking for Ianto. But the Welshman had slipped out of the Hub at some point. Jack had to admire Ianto's sixth sense and stealth. But he couldn't let Ianto win this one, even though he sort of wanted to. He had to find his lover and get through to him.

"Check the CCTV footage, find out when he left and track him. We have to find him now." Jack didn't need to say why they were in such a rush to find Ianto. If they didn't sort this now, both of them would loose their nerve, and too much was at stake to let that happen.

"What will you be doing while I do that?" Owen's sour tone grated Jack's nerves. But Jack held himself together. He couldn't afford to get distracted.

"I'm gonna get the old decoy car out from the garage. If we're trying to catch Ianto, we've a better chance with something other than the SUV. Ianto sees that he might run off."

"Because he certainly has never seen the decoy car… oh wait, he's the one who fucking keeps it in condition."

"Do you have a better idea? Your car is even more noticeable than the decoy and Ianto probably won't be looking for it. He expects me to be dramatic."

"We all do."

"Well I'm dropping the theatrics, if it'll help us help Ianto."

Owen sighed then looked over his shoulder, "Jack? We're gonna save him, right?"

Jack looked down at the younger man, surprised by the childish worry in his eyes. He reached out and stroked a hand over Owen's hair,

"Yeah. We'll save him. Might take some doing… but we'll manage it."

"I hope so." There was a pause, room enough for a sarcastic, cover-up remark. Owen made none. He just turned around and resumed his search. "Got him! He went home an hour ago, then left and headed towards… Splott? What the hell is he doing there?"

"I don't know… but he's certainly not dressed for anything high class."

Under normal circumstances, Jack might've drooled. Ianto was wearing a tight black t-shirt, that rode up just a little as he walked, giving teasing glimpses of his stomach and back. The jeans were equally tight and hid absolutely nothing. Jack just knew Ianto had not put on any underwear under those jeans.

It was a very sexual outfit, seductive in its promise of sweet skin hidden underneath. But seeing it made Jack's blood run cold. Ianto's expression was tight, almost hungry. Jack knew, right then, what Ianto was doing. He wasn't trying to look seductive and passionate. He was trying to look easy, trying to ensure that everyone who looked at him would want him. Ianto wanted a physical relief that Jack had been denying him out of his own guilt.

"C'mon. We need to find him." Jack ordered, grabbing Owen's arm in an urgent grip. Owen said nothing as he followed.

* * *

Ianto refused a third drink. He'd already found the right guy for what he wanted, could see in his eyes that hunger to hurt. He'd seen it enough times by now to know what it looked like. But if he was drunk, he wouldn't be able to focus on the pain the way he wanted. So he refused, but made a point of pressing against the man, rubbing just a little. It made him feel like a prostitute, but wasn't that part of the act? Acting just the way the man expected him to. Let him think that Ianto will let him have his way –which he will. He just won't expect Ianto to want that, or enjoy it.

It didn't take long for a hand to slide up between his legs. He moaned into the man's ear, letting the feeling carry his voice right down to the man's groin.

"Fuck…" muttered the man. He was very tall and broad, with huge hands and a bit of a beer belly. His eyes were small and brown. "You're really up for it, aren't you?"

Ianto smiled, nodding his head. He'd learned to stay quiet was the best way. If he spoke it sometimes made them anxious. Apparently it reminded them that he was human, or something like that, and that made them less inclined to take him. Only speak when absolutely necessary, and then, only things that would get them aroused.

There was a strange sort of enjoyment, as he manipulated these men. He didn't need to do much to have them all over him. The fun part was, they thought that they were in control. But no. Ianto was the one in control. He had them wrapped around his little finger, because he was able to coax out the darker side of these men, and twist it to get that feeling deep inside that he craved right now. He was the one using them, not the other way around. And it felt so good.

There was a satisfaction in abandoning all the prim and proper stuff he'd be thinking, saying, living during the daylight. To just let go and be as filthy as he wanted to be, as he could be. Jack thought he was an innocent, that he was clean. Idiot. Ianto had never been clean. And he'd lost too much skin trying to wash away the dirt. All that worry over someone knowing, that someone might find out and never look at him the same way again, the need to please, it all just fell away when he did this. Just letting go, making it hurt, letting someone else do all the work, revelling in his own power as they ripped him inside… it made Ianto want it right there and then.

He reached out and pressed his hand against the man's crotch, stroking once, before letting out a purr in his ear. The man shivered and then grabbed Ianto, all but dragging him out of the seedy club Ianto had wandered into not an hour ago. He pulled Ianto's arm hard until they were a fair distance away from the club. Ianto was all but thrown into an alley and soon was being forced to his knees.

This was the boring part, he was good, but this wasn't what he wanted. So he obliged with the intent of being quick. He wanted this man fucking him, and he wanted it now.

"Christ!" The man grabbed Ianto's hair and dragged him to his feet, slamming him against the wall. "If that's what your mouth can do…"

Ianto gave him his most lecherous grin, knowing his lips were swollen and red. Not much longer now.

Deciding the man needed some help, Ianto undid his own trousers and pushed them down to his knees. He was about to turn around to face the wall, but the man held him in place.

"Oh no. I wanna see your pretty face."

Well, this was new. And Ianto didn't really like it. He preferred to not have to focus on anything but the feeling and having to face the man would distract him. Still, he supposed that, all things considered, he could make an exception.

The man was stronger than Ianto had expected, since within seconds he was supporting all of Ianto's weight. Ianto's legs were compressing his chest as he was pretty much bent double, pressed against the wall. It was hard to breath. Ianto shifted, reaching up and finding a pole to help support his weight.

"Come on then." he muttered, eager to get going. The man was happy to oblige.

Ianto had to repress a scream of pain as he was filled. Shit! He'd forgotten how intense this pain was. Still, it felt good. He needed this. It filled his head and blocked everything else out. All the bad things vanished in a haze of red. His head was spinning as the pain thrummed through him, panting through clenched teeth, not hearing the man swear and hiss as he moved. Ianto was focused on himself. Him alone. He was in control, it was all him. He needed nothing else.

"Get the fuck off him!"

Ianto's eyes snapped opened at the same time the man stuttered to a halt inside him. They both looked to the mouth of the alley. Ianto's eyes widened and he felt sick. Owen and Jack looked furious. Jack pulled out his Webley.

"We said get off him!"

"What the fuck?" snarled the man, still holding Ianto up, but Ianto could tell that the need for release had gone a bit limp. With a sigh he squirmed, biting his lip against the pain and managed to land on his feet. It hurt like hell, but he was too angry to care. "You know these bastards?"

"Unfortunately." muttered Ianto, pulling up his trousers. He could feel the blood coating his skin and the trousers. They'd better not be unsalvageable. They were his favourite.

Jack pointed at Ianto as he lowered his Webley, "You, stay." Then he pointed at the man, "You, get the hell out of here before I blow your brains out."

"What the fuck's your problem? He wanted it, he came onto me."

"I don't care. Get out of here!" snarled Jack. The man growled, but left, muttering to himself. Ianto pulled at his jeans, grimacing as he felt the blood seep into the denim. But he refused to reach into the pocket and use the gauze pads he carried around for this. It felt like if he did, he'd be admitting something to Jack and Owen that he really didn't want to.

Jack and Owen stared at him like they were lost for words. Now wasn't that a first.

Ianto wanted dearly to shout at them, but his usual control was automatically reasserting itself and he clamped down on all he was feeling, including the pain. The fact that he couldn't enjoy it, really made him want to shoot the two men in front of him.

"You do this often?" asked Jack with almost as much anger as Ianto felt.

"Whenever I feel like it." Ianto shrugged.

"Feel like it? Ianto you're bleeding all over those nice jeans… that's not like you." It was a barb, an attempt to rile him. It wouldn't work. He'd worked too hard to learn how to control himself to let Jack win this game.

"It doesn't matter. I got what I wanted. Now I'm going home."

"Like fuck you are!" exploded Owen, "You are coming with us right now and I am going to fix you up and then I'm going to beat the shit out of you!"

"Screw you Owen, I'm off the clock, you can't order me around."

"I don't fucking care!" Owen shouted at the top of his lungs. "Do you have any idea what kind of damage you might've done to yourself? What you might've just caught off that bastard… what the fuck were you trying to do?"

Owen's eyes were wide, horrified, and Ianto smirked.

"Doing what I want Ow'n. Can't you understand that? I'm doing what I want to do… and I don't care how you feel about it."

"Ianto… Ianto please. Just let me look about you. You could be bleeding internally." Owen sounded almost desperate. Ianto wanted to laugh.

"Maybe. But I'll heal. I always do."

"You've done this before." Jack stated. His face was unreadable, but his eyes were blazing.

"Of course I have Jack. Why do you keep trying to make me out to be some sort of fucking virgin? We both know I'm not. Haven't been for a long time."

"But that still doesn't… you can't just… are you trying to get yourself KILLED?" roared Owen.

"Nope." Ianto wished they'd move. They were in his way and he knew if he got too close, they would grab him.

"Ianto… you just…" Owen was grabbing at words, and missing every time. He was shocked, appalled even. Which was impressive all things considered.

"I'm going home. I might just be able to save these jeans. I'll see you both in the morning."

Ianto walked past them, staggering, but keeping his head up and his smirk on his face. Jack let him pass by. Owen made a grab for him, but Ianto shoved him away without a word. Walking was a bitch after a session like that. But somehow Ianto managed to get home.

Stripping off his jeans, he knew there was no point in trying to save them. They were more red-brown than blue now. Ianto pulled out the medical gauze and set to work, stemming the blood flow and then taking a shower. It would be a while before he'd be able to have another night like that again.

When he got into bed, Ianto found he'd gotten a text. It was from Jack.

'_Don't come in tomorrow. If you're going to act like a madman, I won't have you on my team.'_

The words upset Ianto more than he'd expected they might. But he was also very angry. Who did Jack think he was to tell him how to live his life? He wasn't mad. He just liked the control. And it was Jack's fault they'd seen it in the first place. Ianto never would have gone out if he hadn't…

No! He wouldn't go there. He wouldn't waste the night's work just because of Jack.

Growling, Ianto curled up on his side, burying his face into the pillow and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

At this point, thoughts and opinions are very much sought out to make sure this fic is working for people and that it hasn't failed. Also, I'm curious about people's reaction to Ianto, and where they think this might go from here.

Night's Darkness


	11. Chapter 11

Right, well I'm hoping like hell this chapter makes sense. If it doesn't please let me know and I will do my best to explain, because at last we're in Ianto's head and I don't mind telling you that **I** got muddled trying to keep this whole thing understandable.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 11**

"How can he just… I mean he can't… I just don't… what the FUCK?" Owen lashed out and knocked his computer screen off his desk. The computer let out a shrill beep of displeasure as the screen sputtered and sparked before giving up any hope of recovery and dying. "What does he think he's doing? He could get himself killed! Is that what he wants?"

"No."

Owen snapped his body around so he was facing Jack, "What?"

Jack sighed, lifting his chin, "Ianto's not trying to get himself killed, he's trying to have control."

"Control."

"C'mon Owen, you're a doctor, and you've been a doctor since before you joined Torchwood. We both know that people who suffer from abuse can develop an obsessive compulsion to have everything under their control. That's exactly what Ianto's doing. Don't you remember what he said back in the house? This is about him, and his choices. He chose how he wanted to live but we ignored his choices. To him, we took away his control over his life. He'd made a decision about Ivor, and we went against it. That's what this is all about. What we just saw… he's recreating the scene of the rape, but under his own terms. He's convinced himself that he's in control because he needs to feel like there is some part of his life at least that he can have control over. He's got control over us by making sure we don't ask about Ivor, he's leading us along." There was something in Jack's voice, Jack's eyes that told Owen he knew exactly what he was talking about.

"So… what do we do? We need to know what he did to Ivor, and we need to stop him from doing this self-destructive stuff. For all we know he could have contracted an STD. Christ, he could have gotten HIV for all we know."

"We'll get a blood sample, but we can't force this. It'll only make this worse."

Owen blanched at the thought that things could get worse than they were.

"What do we do?"

"Ok… it kills me to do this to her, but we're gonna need Tosh."

* * *

The doorbell had been ringing incessantly for the past fifteen minutes. Ianto could not stand the sound of the doorbell, or the telephone. He never had. His pessimistic side always warned that nothing good would come of answering either. But the sheer annoyance of it drove him crazy too. It was like a demanding, rude person shouting 'Speak to me now, speak to me now! I don't care what you're doing, speak to me now!' at him.

"Fucking Jack!" he hissed, getting out of his bed, grunting at the pain that shot through him as he moved. He stomped down the hall and threw the door open,

"YES!"

Tosh squeaked as she stood there in his doorway, clutching pizza and beer and looking like a deer caught in the headlights. The two stared at each other with wide eyes, neither sure what to make of the other. Tosh couldn't believe how awful Ianto looked, and Ianto couldn't get his head around the bizarre normality of Tosh with pizza and beer.

"Tosh… what are you doing here?"

"I heard you weren't feeling well and I thought I would keep you company. There's nothing going on in the Hub, so Jack gave us the day off." Tosh did her level best to sound casual, and was pretty happy with her success. Ianto however, just looked suspicious.

"Look Tosh I-"

"I brought your favourite, with pineapple. And your favourite beer too. And I've got a tub of ice cream making my bag sticky as it melts. So… let me in before I have to send you to the dry cleaners with my bag. I like this bag." Tosh widened her eyes with a smile, trying to make it impossible for Ianto to say no. Ianto sighed and stepped out of her way.

"Ok. Come in."

"Thanks." Tosh all but ran inside, in case Ianto changed his mind. She set the pizza down on the counter of Ianto's kitchen and reached for the plates, knowing exactly where they were after the previous times she'd done this sort of thing with Ianto. "Will you take the ice cream out of my bag and put it in the freezer while I dish out the pizza?"

Ianto sighed and picked up the bag, rummaging inside it. He frowned when he pulled out the ice cream tub –his favourite flavour of that too- and a banana and a carrot.

"Tosh, have you started a bizarre new diet? The bananot diet or something?"

"Hmm?" Tosh grinned genuinely at the fruit and vegetable. "Oh no, they're for the rabbits. Why don't you let them out of their pen and I'll cut these up for them."

"Ok." Ianto wandered into his rabbit room, where his two rabbits, Senor Fluffles, a sandy coloured Flemish Giant of 18 pounds, and Bartholomew (Bart), an all black Britannia Petite of 1 and a half pounds, lived in their pen and hutch that took up most of the floor space. Bart was cleaning his face with his tiny paws, and Senor Fluffles was nibbling on the apple log that helped keep their teeth healthy. When Ianto walked in, Senor hopped straight over and went on his hind legs, straining to reach him at the edge of the pen. Ianto crouched down and poked a finger through the mesh. He smiled when Senor licked his fingers.

"Want to hop around the house for a while, eh?"

Senor's ears twitched and his nose wiffled at Ianto in what he'd come to understand was an excited gesture. Bart lifted his head from his paws and straightened up. Ianto grinned a little as he lifted the roof of the pen –a necessity because Bart liked to climb the sides of the pen and get out, which had resulted in many chasings at inopportune moments- then swung his legs inside so he could scoop Senor up and set him down on the floor.

"You're getting heavier by the day Senor." he told the Giant, who blinked at him. "Might have to put you on a diet if you get any bigger, or I won't be able to lift you."

Senor looked bewildered as he was set down. Ianto chuckled at the dumb expression. Senor was the incarnation of the description 'big and dumb but sweet.'

Bart, who could fit in Ianto's hand, was no sooner set on the floor before he was racing out of the room. Senor lopped after him, his back paws loud on the floor. It was always easy to know where he was, just because he was so noisy. It was especially funny to Ianto whenever he tried the stairs. Although he was forever worried that coming down them one day the big bunny would trip and fall to his death. Bart just hopped, Senor had to climb.

"Hello Bart! Hello Senor!" Tosh was always happy to see them. Especially Senor. He'd let her cuddle him to death after the incident with Mary. Ianto went back into the kitchen just in time to see Tosh give the two rabbits a banana slice each. "They seem hungry."

"I haven't fed them their usual carrot and cabbage mix yet."

"Ah." Tosh seemed to be at a loss at what to say next and simply petted Senor's head as he nibbled the banana slice from her fingers. Senor never bit people. Bart on the other hand had a tendency to nip people who annoyed him on the ankles, especially if you sat in his chair. Despite Ianto's patient training, he hadn't broken the habit –although lately he'd only bitten Jack, whom he didn't seem to like. At the moment that made Ianto smile.

As Senor finished and Tosh straightened up, she caught Ianto's eyes and they stared at each other. Ianto knew exactly why she was there and she knew he knew and was embarrassed about it all. Ianto sighed, folding his arms.

"C'mon, the pizza won't eat itself… at least I hope it doesn't. Cardiff's got enough to worry about."

Tosh smiled, nodding. "Got any new movies?"

"Nothing that I haven't already watched, you choose."

"Ok then." Tosh browsed Ianto's library of movies and eventually selected her favourite, popping it into the player and sitting on the couch next to him. Señor hauled his great bulk onto the couch to nestle against Ianto's thigh. Bart sat in his own seat. Tosh tossed a few pieces of carrot to him and he was happy enough to eat them, ignoring the others. Ianto nibbled at the pizza, not really paying attention to the movie. His free hand rubbed behind Señor's ears and he kept throwing Tosh glances, waiting for her to start questioning him.

But Tosh stayed quiet through the whole movie, then, as it finished, just said,

"Ice-cream?"

"Um… sure."

Tosh gave him a bright smile and went to get the ice cream. Ianto frowned after her and then glanced down at Señor. The Giant stared up at him, blinking slowly as if he was as confused as Ianto. Bart hopped down from his chair –Ianto had built a set of steps made out of books to allow easy access to the chair. He'd had to sacrifice those books to the cause forever, because Bart got irritable if Ianto messed with them. Good thing he could buy copies. As Tosh came back in, she paused to crouch down and feed Bart a bit of banana. Bart ate it from her fingers, then licked her fingers clean. Tosh giggled and petted his head. Bart backed away from her and jumped into the air, twisting as he came back down. Ianto laughed,

"You've just been binkied Tosh."

"I'm honoured." Tosh smiled as she sat beside him after giving Bart a pet. She handed him a bowl of ice-cream and they ate in companionable silence. Ianto finished his bowl so it was almost sparkling clean again, and set it down on the floor. Tosh licked her spoon and then said,

"It's scary."

"What is?"

"You being like this."

Ianto sighed, "Tosh…"

"No, it's really scary seeing you act this way, like there's nothing wrong with things, like everything's fine when we all know it's not. I thought you were done with doing that."

Gwen could learn a thing or two from Tosh about sad pouts and puppy eyes thought Ianto as he looked at her face.

"Look, you don't understand-"

"Yes. I don't understand. I don't understand how you can just expect us to let this go. I don't understand why you won't trust us, trust me, enough to tell us the truth. We've seen it all, we've all done bad things Ianto, so why won't you tell us what you did to Ivor Jones? It can't have been so bad that we can't get through it."

"It's not about trust! It's about my not wanting to loose the life I have now. I won't let that happen."

"But Ianto, can't you see you're loosing it now?"

Ianto's eyes widened and he gave her a sharp look. Tosh set her bowl down and leaned forward,

"Ianto, if you don't tell us… if we don't work through this together, we'll all loose something important to us. And you can't say this isn't about trust, because it is. Jack and Owen violated your trust by what they did. I won't excuse it. But I can't stand watching you do this to yourself again. I can't stand seeing you hurt yourself, torture yourself like this. It hurts me, it actually physically hurts me when you do the things that you hope will make up for whatever you did."

Ianto clenched his hands, digging the nails into his palms. "I'm not trying to hurt you."

"I know. But you are. I just want things to be better, and you won't let them, because… because why? Why are you so terrified of us knowing? Why are you so angry with Jack and Owen's actions? Yes they violated your trust, but I know for you it's more than that. So what is it Ianto? What did you do and why are you so devastated by this whole thing that you'll go out and let yourself be abused?"

"Because it's my choice!" snapped Ianto. Señor jumped at his loud tone. "I made a choice. I decided to forget all about Ivor and move on with my life. When I started in Torchwood I realised that with it's resources, I could do whatever I wanted to Ivor, that I could even… but I chose not to. I didn't want to take that step of cruelty. I didn't want to become as bad as him. So I chose to not get back at him. But I always knew that if I had to… if someone else found out and tried to do something about it, I couldn't stand the idea of someone else punishing him other than me. Especially if it wasn't my choice. It's my life and he's a part of it. No one else had the right to make that call, to take that choice away from me. Owen and Jack did! They did and forced me… forced me to do the one thing I swore I wouldn't do, because I was better than that!"

"What? What did you do Ianto?" Tosh reached out and grabbed his hands, clutching them in her own, making them face each other. There was such desperation in her eyes that Ianto looked down, unable to hold her gaze.

"I… I used Retcon on him."

"You took away his memories?"

"No… more than that." Ianto swallowed and forced himself to look up, to meet Tosh's eyes as he confessed his sins. "You… not even Jack or Owen get just how powerful Retcon is. Every time Jack uses it, it leaves gaps in the memory, black holes that can leave the recipient terrified about what they're missing. But I… I can rewrite their memories to perfection. I can make them remember anything I want. I can make them believe anything. I can take away months of their lives and rewrite them in a way that they'll never remember the real happenings."

"I don't understand."

"Think about it Tosh, every single experience we have in our lives changes us, makes us who we are the next day. We learn a lesson, we learn a skill, whatever. By taking away memories, you change a person. They are not the person they were. I took that all the way. I used the Retcon on Ivor, wiped him almost completely and then I rewrote him. I gave him a rotten life of underachieving, made him remember a loveless childhood, and a painful time as a teenager. I made him a failure as a human being in this modern world, because he's stuck in a job that means nothing, pays little and gives him no satisfaction. But that's not just it. In doing that, I crafted a new personality. He's a meek and mild man, and wouldn't hurt a fly. He's an innocent now… and that's how I destroyed him."

"Ianto… how did you destroy him by making him innocent?" Tosh looked bewildered, alarmed, and slightly amazed.

"Because for the rest of his life, during waking moments and dreams, he will have nightmares about beating and raping a boy. The dreams won't leave him alone, and he'll know the mind of that demon he shares the body of in his dreams. He will feel the anger, the glee as the boy screams, the terror when he rapes him… but he'll be horrified by it. It's going to drive him insane, but he'll never seek help, because he's too scared by his own paranoia. Because of me, an innocent man will forever suffer the sick memories that follow me around all the time. He'll never escape them. They will destroy him. And no secret society will save _him_."

There was a silence as Tosh struggled to get her head around it all. Ianto bowed his head and cried silent tears, like his mother did whenever she looked at the photos of Owen.

"Ianto… what he did to you… he was no innocent."

"He is now. He's not Ivor Jones, he just looks like him. He's nothing like him though. I made him into a sweet, meek man, and he'll be tortured for the rest of his life. I did the sort of thing we try to stop every day Tosh. I'm a monster… because by wiping his memories, by changing him… I punished someone who didn't deserve it."

"But… Ianto I'm sorry, but this is clearly something you've been thinking over for a long time… I don't see how it is punishing him… if you wiped his mind."

"Because the only fitting punishment I could ever think of… all I ever wanted was for him to suffer like I did. The memories, the isolation, the shame… but I couldn't give him my memories. They're mine. So having a monster like that inside you… it was the next best thing I could do… I can't explain it better than that Tosh."

"Ok… but why let yourself be abused? Why did you let that man… hurt you?"

"Because I could. Because I want to… because I choose the man, because… because I just want to make that choice. Ivor never gave me that choice. Now I'm making it… I just want people to stop deciding things for me." Ianto pressed Tosh's hands to his forehead, scrunching up his face as he tried to regain some semblance of control. Her hands were cool on his brow. "God I hate Jack and Owen right now."

"Why?" Tosh's voice cracked with tears.

"Because they forced me to do this… I always chose not to, but… now they've made me give into the worst side of myself… they've made me let this monster out and now I can't go back… it's done. I will never be able to forget just how awful I really am. I'm sick and twisted… and I don't want to be. I just want to do right, but it's so damn hard."

Tosh pulled her hands free just enough to take hold of his head and make him look at her. Tears were spilling down her cheeks and she pulled Ianto so his head was tucked under her chin, her small arms wrapping around him tight, holding him safe.

"It's ok Ianto. It'll be ok. We'll fix this. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep Tosh… please."

"Wouldn't dream of it. We _will_ fix this."

"How?"

"Don't forget, I'm warped on the inside… I'll come up with something."

Ianto let out a little chuckle at her joke and then grunted as Senor flopped down onto his lap. The rabbit cuddled against him and Tosh sighed,

"You're not a monster Ianto. You have to believe me."

Ianto didn't answer her.

* * *

Concrit please! I'm trying my best to get the right balance of emotions here.

Night's Darkness


	12. Chapter 12

I don't know why this has been so difficult to do, but my writing has been quite weak lately, and I'm struggling to make it worth a read. Exams are not helping of course. However, I do have the next chapter of this ready to go, so I'll post in a few days.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Gwen hovered at the edge of the team, feeling thoroughly out of place as Owen silently took a sample of Ianto's blood. The brothers –and wasn't that just impossible to get her head around- were avoiding each other's eyes, well, Ianto was avoiding everyone's eyes, staring at the floor. Tosh stood next to him, holding a massive rabbit in her arms, swaying slightly with the effort to support his weight. Jack stood at the railing, staring down at the trio, his eyes fixed on Ianto. Gwen was near Jack, wondering if she should say something to break the unbearable tension, and terrified of what would happen if she opened her mouth.

Owen pulled the needle out of Ianto's arm and took the sample away to analyse it for every possible STD, especially HIV. The idea that Ianto might have it made a lump form in Gwen's throat. He was too young, too sweet to have something so horrible.

Ianto rolled down his sleeve, he was dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie, and took the large rabbit from Tosh and held him close. As he scratched behind the rabbit's ears he looked so unbearably young that Gwen had to fight back tears. Too young, much too young for all the shit he'd been through.

"This'll take 15 minutes to work through for HIV." said Owen, turning back to the team.

"In the meantime, Ianto, I need to know how you got rid of the house." Jack's tone was firm, but not cold. But Ianto scowled and held his rabbit tighter, like a sulking child.

"Vaporised it. We've got a Sonic Blaster in the Archives, so I used it to disintegrate it. No one will be able to prove there was ever a house there."

"That is a case of being a bit too thorough in your job." sighed Jack, crossing his arms over his chest. "You didn't-"

"Yes I did. Otherwise people would have wondered why it was empty, which would have led to questions about the owner, which would have led them to investigating the missing owner with no evidence for existence. Plus DNA is all over the place in there. Too risky to leave it." Ianto's voice was practiced, controlled. It was like when Lisa had died all over again.

"Well… look Ianto, where did you put Ivor after you Ret-conned him?"

"Wouldn't matter if I told you. He'll never remember anything I took away. I'm too good at it to let that happen. It's why you always get me to do it. I'm the one who makes sure no questions are asked."

"Well, that may be, but I think we should make sure he is as you say he is."

"You don't believe me?" Ianto's voice was a growl.

"I believe you, but I'd like to see for myself."

"No. I won't tell you."

Jack narrowed his eyes, "Ianto-"

"No! I won't tell you!" Ianto's voice rose to a sharp near shout. Tosh put her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it to keep him calm. The rabbit sniffed at his Adam's apple as it bobbed up and down hard as he swallowed. In Gwen's mind, she fancied that the rabbit believed it was a real apple, and he wanted a piece of it. The thought almost made her smile, but she kept it down, because it would not do to smile right then. To reassert herself in reality she spoke up,

"Look, Ianto says he won't remember and that he's safe somewhere-"

"I made him think the injuries you gave him were from a vicious mugging."

"-so let's just leave that for now at least. Ivor Jones is not as important as working through this as a team."

Ianto snorted and rubbed his chin on top of the rabbit's head. Owen closed his eyes in a long-suffering look. Gwen felt aggravated. The words may have been a bit cliché, but that didn't mean they were wrong or she didn't mean them.

"Look, Ianto, I know you're angry with me and Owen-"

"That does not even begin to cover how I feel about you two."

"-but we did it for you."

"You did it for yourselves. If you'd done anything for me, you'd have let it alone like I said."

"Ok, yes, we may have-"

"Will you stop trying to make excuses! Now look, I've no intention of quitting Torchwood, and quite frankly, what I do with my personal life is no business of yours. It hasn't affected my professional performance, so will you just let it go! It's over. You fucked up royally, and I cleaned up the mess. Business as usual really. Now stop trying to apologise, it's pointless."

Jack sighed, staring down at the younger man. He'd forgotten how stubborn Ianto could be. There was a beep of a machine and Owen turned to it as it spat out results. Owen's eyes scanned it with great apprehension, the whole team watching him. At last he lowered it and he let out a heavy breath.

"Thank God. Negative."

The whole team seemed to relax a bit at the statement. The rabbit licked at Ianto's fingers.

"Can I go now?"

"Not yet. Ianto we need to sort this."

"Sort what?" Ianto sounded weary at this point, like he was having the same argument over and over again with a five year old. Jack saw red, but managed to do nothing but grit out,

"My office. Now."

Ianto huffed and jumped to his feet, resettling his grip on the rabbit.

"Leave the rabbit!" Jack snapped. Ianto's eyes flashed, but he obeyed, passing the rabbit to Tosh.

"Yes _sir_."

Gwen side stepped out of the way of the two men, watching them both stride up to Jack's office. She noticed that Ianto looked as tall and strong as Jack. This surprised her. She was used to Ianto being slightly smaller looking. She wondered if Ianto had deliberately done that to look less threatening. He was a tall man after all. If he was any taller, Gwen would probably have thought of him as a Gentle Giant, really.

Gwen jumped as Jack's office door slammed.

* * *

"Sit down." Jack ordered, going to sit behind his desk. Ianto did as he was told and sat down. He looked so prim and proper, even in his casual clothes. "Ok, we need to talk about what we're going to do about your… habit."

Ianto's eyes narrowed, "My… habit?"

"Yes. Your habit of going out and letting random guys screw you raw so you get hurt. It can't go on."

"It's got noth-"

"It's got everything to do with me. As your boss and as your… friend."

"As my boss, what business is it of yours?"

"You going out and getting deliberately injured when you might have to fight aliens the next day is my business." Jack did his best to keep his tone level. He had to be reasonable, or else Ianto would dig his heels in. "You putting yourself and the team in unnecessary danger is my business."

"I wouldn't-"

"What if you were really hurt? Or what if you moved wrong in the middle of a fire fight? What if your injuries put someone else in danger, like Tosh? Or an innocent civilian? Could you live with yourself if that happened?"

"It wouldn't happen."

"You and I both know it could. Ianto this team needs you in peak physical and mental condition-"

"Peak mental condition? Among us that just means we're twisted inside and know how to keep going anyway. So don't give me that."

"Fine, but we at least need you in peak physical condition. So here's what we're gonna do." Jack leant forward, resting his arms on the desk. He made sure Ianto was meeting his gaze. "The next time you feel the need for that sort of thing, you come to me."

Something flickered in Ianto's eyes, but he said nothing, only stared at Jack with an impassive expression as a long silence stretched out between them. When it was clear Ianto would say nothing, Jack elaborated,

"You'll come to me and I'll give you the pain you want, but I'll make sure you don't get injured in the process, that way we can at least begin to-"

"No."

"What?"

"I said, No!" snarled Ianto, looking livid. The expression alarmed Jack more than he would admit. "As if I'd come snivelling to you like a whimpering dog, asking to be fucked. You sanctimonious prick!"

"Hey! I'm trying to help you here."

"I never said I wanted your help! And I certainly don't want that sort of pathetic, pitying shit you're offering. God! The very idea makes me feel sick. I'll never beg you for anything Captain!"

"You seemed happy enough to beg for those other guys who wouldn't have cared if you were hurt or not."

The faintest of smirks passed over Ianto's face, "You don't get it. I don't beg for anything. Haven't you ever heard of topping from the bottom?" He leaned forward, all humour gone. "I don't ever beg anyone for anything, and I will never, ever, beg you for a pity fuck! So take your _heart-felt_ suggestion and shove it!"

"It's either take it or you don't leave the Hub. Ever."

"You can't just-"

"Oh yes I can. My job is to ensure that this team is able to fulfil its duties and if you're injured because you've got a twisted need to hurt yourself, then you put everyone at risk. If keeping you in this Hub ensures that you don't do that, then that's exactly what I'll do. Or you can give me your word that you'll come to me the next time you feel the need to-"

"No! I'd rather be stuck in this dump than agree to that." Ianto was on his feet, and shoving his face into Jack's as he shouted. The rage inside his eyes was alarming to Jack. But he kept his face cold.

"Fine. I'll be setting up new codes to keep you from leaving."

"Fine, I don't care."

They stared each other down, willing the other to break first. When neither did, Ianto hissed,

"Anything else, _sir_?"

"Yes. Go down to Owen to complete the medical check-up. Then compile a list of things you want from your place to be brought to the Hub. The rabbits, I'm afraid, will not be allowed in here. If nothing else, Myfanwy would eat them."

A muscle twitched in Ianto's jaw, his eyes flashed. The he shoved at Jack's desk, managing to shove it at least an inch and knock a few things off it. Without another word, Ianto walked out of Jack's office.

Jack sighed, then winced as the door slammed shut. He pinched the bridge of his nose, willing away a headache. He'd known Ianto had been furious with him, but even at that he hadn't expected that strong a reaction.

"Stubborn pride." he growled, slumping in his seat. He knew that it wouldn't be long before Gwen came in, talking about Ianto's human rights. He'd better think of a good explanation to get her to shut up or he'd never be able to keep Ianto safe without the whole team collapsing.

It was funny though. Even now he never doubted Ianto's loyalty to the team or to Torchwood, or even to him. But the revulsion in Ianto's eyes when he'd spoken angered Jack. The rejection of his offers of comfort were stinging bites. It was as if Ianto saw sex as nothing but a weapon. Maybe he did. So what did that say about their relationship that had been cautiously growing in strength? Jack dreaded to think it had all been for nothing.

* * *

It was late at night and Owen, Tosh and Gwen had been all but thrown out of the Hub to go home and rest. Jack was sitting in his office, wondering just how a simple revelation of Ianto and Owen being brothers could have wrought such a mess. Making Ianto essentially a prisoner of Torchwood was the last thing that would have crossed his mind, but Jack couldn't think of an alternative. He had to stop Ianto from his self destructiveness, before he got himself killed. There was too much potential inside Ianto to waste by letting him sink into a depression. Jack had seen too much youth wasted by war and violence. He'd be damned if Ianto suffered the same fate.

Ianto had given Tosh a list and she'd duly brought everything from his home, although she'd had to take the giant rabbit with her after Ianto had petted him goodbye. It had been the only time since Ianto had left Jack's office that he'd shown some semblance of emotion.

All of Ianto's stuff had been put in a room on the main level, down a corridor that was rarely ventured down. Ianto had set up a bed, and unpacked all his other things, as if he'd been accepting of Jack's decision. Jack knew better. Ianto was trying to prove he wasn't bothered by the orders.

Gwen had been livid, Owen had sworn and spat and Tosh had just looked very worried. She was in danger of getting a permanent frown if she didn't stop being so anxious.

Jack had pulled rank over Gwen and had reminded Owen of what he'd seen that night in the alley. This was enough to quell them. But that didn't mean anyone was satisfied or that it was over.

Once the others had left, Ianto had disappeared into the Archives. Jack had stayed in his office. Now that his orders had been followed, Jack wasn't sure what to do now. Should he give Ianto a ridged timetable? Should he try to talk to him? Should he leave him alone?

Jack knew the Archives were a kind of sanctuary for Ianto. The order, the way that everything had a place, the fact that Ianto knew everything in it, made it somewhere he could enjoy being. Ianto lived for order and control. Jack knew that forcing him to stay here had forced the control from Ianto to Jack and that the younger man hated that. If Jack went into the Archives, he'd probably achieve nothing more than making Ianto even angrier, and Jack didn't want to do this. Nothing he was doing was meant to make Ianto angry, even if Jack knew they would have that effect. Jack just wanted to help, damn it, why couldn't Ianto just understand that?

A noise in the main Hub startled Jack out of his musings. Glancing at the time, he was startled to see it was 3 in the morning. Turning his head, he saw Ianto was clearing the desks of their daily crap. He should have been in bed by now. Jack was very tempted to try to get Ianto to go to bed, but as if Ianto could sense the thought, he paused and looked up, giving Jack a look of hatred that chilled Jack to the core. It was a look he'd only received one other time, and that was during the Lisa thing. Jack wanted to storm down there and say that he wouldn't be doing this if Ianto would only stop being so stupid. But he couldn't. So he settled for staring back impassively.

As Ianto turned away, the gesture one of growing bored with the staring contest, Jack sighed. Tomorrow was going to be absolute hell, he just knew it.

* * *

All concrit is appreciated, so let me know what you think!

Night's Darkness


	13. Chapter 13

Righty oh! This chapter is just a lead up for what's fast becoming the darkest damn thing I've ever written in my life. See what the Torchwood fandom has done to me… ok, the Torchwood fandom isn't really to blame, but it's a damn good excuse. Lol.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Toshiko felt like tearing into Jack when she saw the state of Ianto that morning. The young man wasn't wearing a suit, his eyes were hard and angry, and he looked exhausted. Still he managed to smile at her as she arrived, offering her a coffee. Tosh had a sneaking suspicion that Jack had not gotten any that morning, and felt the slightest hint of satisfaction about it.

Logically, she knew Jack meant well, had always meant well, but Ianto was her best friend and she knew he was hurting a lot and Jack was making it worse. Why couldn't he have just used his brain for once and listened to Ianto, or at least consulted him before going on a stupid vengeance drive. Owen's actions made more sense, Owen never did think before he acted, and he was easily affected by things like people being hurt. Jack was meant to be a leader, meant to be able to see the clear picture rather than just red when he was confronted with things.

"Did you get any sleep at all last night Ianto?" she asked as he made her coffee.

"Wasn't tired." grunted Ianto. He had a note of stubbornness in his voice. Tosh sighed. She could guess what had happened. Ianto had refused to actually sleep in the bed of the room his stuff was in. It would have been like a sign he was giving in to the orders.

"Are you… do you feel better? Less guilty now that we know?"

"Not really. Not that it matters."

"Of course it matters Ianto. It's that guilt that drove you to let yourself be hurt and it's why Jack-"

"Here's your coffee Tosh. I have to go down to the archives. I'll see you later."

Tosh sighed again as Ianto retreated. The sour expression on his face, coupled with the casual jeans and t-shirt he was wearing made him look like a sulking child or stroppy teenager. Tosh couldn't help but think in a way Ianto was handling Jack's actions very childishly.

"Y'know there would have been a time when I would have paid money for him to come in in casual clothes." Jack's voice was weary as he came down from his office to stand beside her. "Now it's tainted because he's only doing it to annoy me."

Tosh looked up at Jack and saw how miserable he looked, and suddenly she felt annoyed at Ianto. Why couldn't he see that they were all trying to help him?

"I hear he asked you to look after his rabbits."

"Yeah. They like me, and I know a bit about taking care of them."

"Bart likes you?"

"He's binkied me."

"Lucky you. All he's ever done for me is bite my ankles to bits." Jack's lips quirked into a tiny smile. "Ianto thought it was hilarious."

"We'll work through this Jack. Ianto can't stay mad at you forever. He didn't after Lisa and-"

"That was different. I think Ianto knew Lisa was a lost cause, but he'd made his choice and he had to stick with it. This time I've managed to tear everything about him open. I've taken all his sense of control out of his life. And we both know that's all Ianto wants."

"To be able to control his own life." Tosh nodded. The more she'd thought about Ianto's confession to her in his living room yesterday, the more she'd realised that Ianto's obsession for control stemmed from his lack of control in his childhood. Even his need for neatness was part of that. So much of her friend had made so much more sense.

"I just want to help him." murmured Jack, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Tosh touched his arm. "We all do."

* * *

Ianto yawned, growling to himself as he shook his head to wake himself up. He hadn't gone to bed last night. He just couldn't give Jack the satisfaction. But he knew it would be a few days at least until he could get out. So he'd have to do something else to maintain a kind of control over the situation. Jack had taken his very freedom away. And Ianto needed to sleep, he would not let anyone get hurt because he'd not slept and wasn't up to scratch.

'_Exactly why Jack's trying to stop you from getting fucked raw.'_ said a voice in his head. It sounded rather like Tosh's. Ianto felt like pulling his hair out in sheer fury. He wasn't stupid. He got Jack's point. But he'd never let it get in the way before they'd known about it. Why would he now?

Ianto was annoyed that Jack was interfering more in his life, but that wasn't why he was seething with rage under his skin. It was Jack's offer. The very idea made Ianto feel sick with revulsion.

"'You come to me, and I'll give you what you want.'"

Who the fuck did Jack think he was to try that patronising crap with Ianto? Even hearing the words in his head again made his skin crawl. Jack thought he got it. Jack thought he understood it. The asshole! He knew nothing of Ianto's mindset.

With a snarl, Ianto punched the wall, grimacing as pain shot up his arm. The rage that was flowing through him had nowhere else to go. He couldn't remember ever feeling this angry before. It was just pure rage. He couldn't even figure out who exactly he was angry at the most.

'"_Ianto, come back up. It's lunchtime."'_ Gwen's voice came over his comm.

"It's ok, I'm not hungry."

Gwen was quiet, then Jack's voice came over the comm. sounding stern.

'"_Ianto come up right now and eat. That's an order."'_

Ianto gritted his teeth, his fury rising up again. So now Jack was ordering him around, like a slave. Ianto couldn't fathom how he would be able to resist punching the man in the face when saw him. But he hissed through clenched teeth,

"Yes… sir." before clicking off his comm. and storming back up to the main Hub.

* * *

The team was gathered around the table, their Chinese laid out, waiting for the last member to join them. They were all steeling themselves. Ianto had sounded furious on the comm. and as he came up the stairs he looked like he really wanted to break something. Probably Jack's teeth.

"We got your usual Ianto." said Jack, pointing at the food next to his. They'd given Ianto his usual seat, at Jack's right side. Ianto said nothing as he sat down and snapped his chopsticks apart. It was odd seeing him sitting with them in the casual clothes. It was like he was sitting in his pyjamas, just not normal.

As Ianto started eating, focusing entirely on his food, the others began to eat. Anger was coming off Ianto in waves, so much so that Gwen looked nervous to be sitting beside him. Not such a Gentle Giant now, she thought to herself as she nibbled at a prawn cracker. Owen watched Ianto, unable to think of a thing to say to him. So much to say, and yet there was nothing coming to mind. Jack refused to look at Ianto, anger coming off him too. Tosh just wanted everyone to snap out of it.

* * *

That night, after the other three had gone home, Jack waited until Ianto came back up from the Archives and then went to meet him in the middle of the Hub.

"We should talk."

"I've nothing to say sir."

"Fine, then I'll talk." Jack watched as Ianto turned away, picking up some things left on Gwen's desk and then throwing them away. "I'm not doing this to upset you or make you angry. But I can't let you leave if I don't have a guarantee that you won't get yourself hurt again."

Ianto said nothing. He just moved to Tosh's desk. Jack followed, maintaining his proximity to the younger man.

"Ianto, all you have to do is agree to my terms, and you can go home."

Ianto stiffened, but he didn't say anything until he'd cleared Tosh's desk. Then he turned very deliberately to face Jack. His face was stiff and his eyes were blazing. His voice was ice cold and eerily calm.

"Let me get one thing very, very clear Harkness. I will never, ever, agree to your terms. In fact right now, I would rather stick needles in my eyes than go near you. I don't know if I will ever want to be near you again. So just fuck off and leave me alone. I'd rather convince myself that you don't exist."

Ianto turned away and moved to Owen's desk. Jack didn't follow him. He was rooted to the spot, shocked and hurt by Ianto's words. Hurt more than he could have ever expected. Swallowing hard, he said, trying to keep his voice steady,

"I just want to help you."

"Well I never asked for your help. And I think you did enough damage with Ivor Jones. Thanks to you, I've had to do something I never wanted to do. But I guess it doesn't matter now. After all, it's just another thing to add to my list of 'Shit the Universe Likes to Throw at Me'. I'm starting to think I should just add Torchwood to it rather than separate all the actual events. It would make it shorter."

Jack stared at Ianto's back, eyes wide. How could Ianto talk like this? Why was he so angry over all of this? It couldn't just be the fact that Jack was keeping him here. Had Ianto always hated him, but kept it hidden? Jack couldn't stand the idea. But maybe that was why he was so angry over Jack's terms. Jack wanted to shake the younger man, but he didn't know what would happen if he did. Ianto might snap completely. Ianto might kill him in a blind rage. Ianto might just crumble. God Jack wished he would crumble and let Jack take care of him. But somehow that didn't look like it would ever happen.

* * *

Owen finished off another glass of scotch. He'd been going through all his stuff, slowly finding all his things from his childhood. So many pictures of him and Ianto smiling. When had either of them smiled like that last?

Owen's question was answered about himself when he found a picture of him and Katie mixed with the kid pictures. Ah, that was when he'd last smiled with open abandon. For the life of him he couldn't remember what he'd been laughing about when that picture was taken, but he'd had an arm around Katie and they were grinning at each other.

Thinking back, Owen remembered that he'd checked on Ianto a day after the Brecon Beacons had happened, and had found him asleep with a photo album on his lap. It had been open on a picture of him and Lisa. They'd been in a stance much like Owen and Katie in the picture he was holding.

Owen felt a shiver run down his back as he realised he and his brother had suffered the same kind of loss. Only Owen had been too irate at Ianto's stupidity to see it at the time.

'_Too late as bloody usual Harper.' _a voice in his head growled.

If their dad was alive, Owen knew that he would have been furious with Owen for letting things get so bad with Ianto. He would also have been murderous over the idea of Jack keeping Ianto prisoner like he was. Under any other circumstances, Owen wouldn't have approved, but every time he wanted to protest it, he could only see Ianto pinned to the wall while that guy fucked him. The sight had completely shaken Owen, and he'd been eternally grateful to whatever deity that bothered to listen that Ianto had managed to avoid any STIs.

When had Ianto become the most fucked up person on the team? Owen had once thought that Ianto was really the only sane one of them, with his cool logic and sarcastic barbs that could bring the others back to Earth. That had been before Lisa. Then Owen had considered Ianto a pathetic love-sick puppy who fed off any scraps he was given. But that turned out not to be the case with Ianto anymore than with Owen. Less so even. A bullet in Owen's shoulder had proven that.

Owen groaned. How had things gotten so bad? It had been a stupid fight, a single revelation and suddenly their whole world had fallen to pieces, and it was taking Ianto with it, or so it seemed.

'_Fuck it, no! You're not getting him!'_ he decided, sitting up. _'I won't let anyone take him away again.'_

Owen had no idea that that very promise was what could cost him his brother.

* * *

Can anyone feel the mounting tension? If not I'm not doing my job right! Lol.

Night's Darkness


	14. Chapter 14

Right, major warning for this chapter, dub-con, fairly explicit –although I did try to minimise that- not that pleasant, and the characters are pretty… well, pretty fucked up. I mean, more so. *is very nervous*

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 14**

Ianto was trying to drive him insane.

Jack knew it was true, but if there was one thing Ianto knew, it was how to mess with someone's mind, without incriminating himself.

It was little things. Very small things but they were there.

First, his Webley pistol hadn't been in the top drawer that morning when he'd gone for it. It had been in the second drawer. The coat stand had been moved a foot to the left so when he'd gone to grab his coat he'd nearly fallen over. His computer screen wasn't tilted just right. His blue and white mug was missing.

They were all very tiny things that made up his day, gave him a sense of rhythm and repetition that helped him cope with the madness Torchwood threw at him.

And Ianto knew that!

"Jack?"

"WHAT?"

Tosh jumped, looking shocked, holding some papers in her hands. Jack sighed, feeling bad at once.

"I'm sorry Tosh. I'm just stressed by all of this."

"Ianto." sighed Tosh.

"If he would just agree to the terms, I would let him go and we can begin to get better."

"You know he never will."

"Well I can't go back now."

Tosh shook her head, looking very aggravated, but she said nothing about it.

"I've got that report for you."

"Oh, great. Thanks."

Jack accepted the report and reached out blindly to grab the pen on his desk that was always in the same place…

… and was now on the other side of his computer screen.

"Damnit Ianto!"

"What's he done now?"

"He keeps moving things. Just enough to really annoy me."

"That's very petty for Ianto."

"Yeah, well, I guess I took away all other weapons he's got."

"He is certainly resourceful."

Tosh's tone surprised Jack. It was bordering on annoyance.

"I thought you were on his side."

"I was. But he'd acting like a child. Yes, I don't like that you're keeping him locked up here like a criminal, but you're doing it because you care about him. All he seems to be doing is sulking over it." Tosh slid into the seat across from Jack, clasping her hands in her lap, "I know, what you did was very wrong, and I still can't believe you were that foolish, but Ianto's not handling any of this any better than you are. What he did to Ivor Jones is still consuming him, I know it is, but he's not even trying to deal with it anymore. He's ignoring it in favour of fighting with you."

"He said to me last night he was doing his best to convince himself I didn't exist." Jack's voice was a soft murmur and he grimaced as he realised he'd said it aloud.

"Oh, oh Jack." Tosh's eyes were compassionate as she looked at him. "He doesn't mean it."

"He sounded like he did."

"Jack, you big idiot." Tosh gave him a small, sad smile, "If he really meant that, why is he moving all your stuff?"

Jack blinked then gave Tosh a watery smile.

"Sometimes I forget just how intelligent you are Toshiko."

Tosh smiled, inclining her head towards him, "It helps to be a woman sometimes. We are much better built for these sorts of things."

Jack laughed, "Considering how the three men of the team are handling this situation, you're probably right."

"Look, Jack, you can't keep Ianto here forever."

"I know that but-"

"I know, you just want to keep him safe. But I'd like to think I still know a bit about Ianto. How demeaning he would have found an offer like yours."

"It wasn't meant to be demeaning, it was meant to be a compromise. I told him I'd give him the pain without the injury. That way at least, he'd be safe."

"No offense Jack, but do you really understand why Ianto does those things? It might not just be for the pain. It couldn't be. There has to be more to it than just the pain. Even if he had accepted your offer, I don't think you could give him what he really wants from it."

"What do you think he wants? I assumed it was the pain, the recreation of the original experience under his own terms."

"I'm not sure. It can't just be the pain. But if he wants to recreate the scene, I think you're the last person he would want to do that for him."

"Do you think-"

The Rift Alarm went off. Tosh and Jack immediately went to see what was happening.

~*~

Ianto was really fuming by the time the team had finished rounding up the aliens that had fallen through the Rift. Jack had ordered him to computer sit without a pause and effectively told him he wasn't needed on the field in his state. His state?! There was nothing wrong with him. Aside from a sudden lack of freedom, Ianto was the same man he'd always been. But Jack doubted his capabilities in the field. Bastard.

Ianto decided enough was enough. With a small smirk on his lips he pulled out his phone and dialled an old number. It took a while for the call to be answered, but soon that wonderfully muddled accent came through.

"Hello?"

"It's Ianto."

"Ianto! How are ye?"

"I need your help."

There was a pause, as if the person on the other end could sense the seriousness of the statement.

"I'm all ears."

~*~

"How much longer are they going to keep this up?" demanded Gwen to Owen as they watch Ianto walk away from Jack even as Jack approached him.

Owen watched them. There had been a time when he'd felt jealous of Jack and Ianto's relationship. Not that he wanted to shag Jack or anything like that, but they were close, in a way Jack had been with Owen until Ianto had come along and stolen that spot. It had been the beginning of a new rivalry which had lasted until… well truth be known, Owen couldn't figure out when it had dissipated. He supposed all this shit with Ianto and Ivor Jones and his and Jack's stupidity had put it to the back burner.

Now that relationship seemed to have gone down the toilet. Jack spent much of the day looking frustrated, and Ianto looked moody and was only near civil to everyone, although he seemed to be saving his most venomous tone for Jack.

As for Ianto's treatment of Owen… there was nothing to say. Ianto was ignoring him, cleaning up after him, and refusing to meet his eyes. Owen was pretty sure Ianto was afraid that if he did meet his gaze, Ianto wouldn't be able resist beating the shit out of him. Owen was quick with his fists, but Ianto was as strong as Jack. There would be no contest. Ianto would flatten him. In his current state of anger, he could probably overpower Jack.

"As long as it takes for one of them to break I guess." he said to answer Gwen's question.

"How can you let Jack get away with keeping Ianto prisoner like this? For God's sake Owen, he's your brother."

"Yeah, and right now the only thing I can see when I close my eyes is my brother trying to get himself killed by some random guy in a bar. Keeping Ianto here may be pissing him off, but at least he can't hurt himself here."

"Oh, yes. Because the Hub is such a safe environment with its guns, Weevils, pterodactyl, drugs and alien tech, all of which Ianto had access to."

"Jack's watching him at night, we're watching him during the day."

"We've got him under lock and key, with almost no privacy. I'm amazed you or Jack hasn't been going with him to the bathroom to watch him take a piss!" Gwen's eyes were flashing. Owen could remember that passion being quite a turn on in the good old days when she'd been brand new in his life. Now he really wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

"Look, I let Ianto down by leaving him victim to that bastard when he was thirteen. I won't let him be hurt again. If keeping him here until he sees sense is the only thing for it, then so be it! Now fuck off Gwen! I've got work to do."

Gwen huffed and stormed away to have a good bitching session with Tosh no doubt. The two women had bonded well over this situation. No doubt complaining about how stupid men were when it came to handling delicate situations.

Owen had to admit, the evidence was mounting.

~*~

Jack stood in the door of his office, watching Ianto wander around the Hub, looking unbelievably restless. That was probably because Jack had sealed off the Archives, and all other corridors save for the one that led to the room Ianto was sleeping in.

When Ianto had realised he was stuck in the main Hub and near Jack, he'd disappeared into his room to sulk, but then had come back out a few hours later looking agitated.

"Y'know, I could think of a few things we could do to pass the time, if you're bored." Jack had no idea what possessed him to say that aloud, much less in that flirtatious voice, but it was too late to take it back. Ianto's face gave him all the answer he needed. "Just a thought."

Ianto glared at him, having refused to say a word all day. Jack sighed,

"Look, you can act like a child all you want, but eventually we are going to have to deal with this. And the easiest way is for you to grow up and talk to me properly."

Ianto looked away, his jaw twitching. Jack rolled his eyes,

"Well, at the very least, get me a coffee. I've got paperwork and I could use some. Please."

Ianto didn't look at him, but after a few moments he moved to the coffee machine. Jack smiled, feeling pleased he was getting through to him in some small way.

Going back to his desk Jack switched the CCTV on, smiling at the familiar motions of Ianto making coffee. He always made it look incredibly sensual. Jack missed standing near him and watching him. Hell, Jack missed being with him in any way other than the way they were now.

Ianto finished making a cup of coffee –Jack could smell it in his office and his mouth was watering- and brought it to his face. Jack watched him inhale the scent, smiling a little at it, and then Ianto took a sip of the drink. Jack watched as he sipped at the drink, wondering when, and if, he would get his.

Ianto finished his mug of coffee, all the while staring at the machine as if it held the secrets of the universe. Then again… perhaps it did. It was a coffee machine after all. Jack cracked a grin and wished he could make that joke to Ianto, knowing the younger man would insist it did.

Jack's amusement was very short lived however as Ianto set his mug down, still staring at the machine. With one hand, he stroked the shiny top in a loving gesture. Then the hand moved to the back of the machine and with a slow, but deliberate movement, Ianto pushed the machine off the counter and watched dispassionately as it crashed to the ground. Jack jumped as the sound reverberated through the Hub, right into his office. He'd been so transfixed by the screen, he'd nearly forgotten it was real just outside his office.

Leaping to his feet Jack ran out to the main Hub and then stuttered to a halt as he watched Ianto stamp on the machine. The crack of the outer casing was as loud as a gunshot. Jack was unable to comprehend what he was seeing. It wasn't just the random destruction of a piece of machinery. It was the coffee machine. Ianto's coffee machine. The machine he'd picked out his first week on the job. The one that had enabled them to get through the longest of hours. The thing Ianto defended with the fierceness of a mother hen from the rest of the team. And yet, there he was slowly, cruelly destroying it, not as a random act of violence he would regret later, but as a cold hearted attack on something Jack couldn't quite interpret, but could see in front of him plain as day.

Ianto's face was blank as, with a final weight induced crack, the casing gave way and shattered, allowing Ianto's boot to crush the more delicate interior.

There was silence in the Hub as both men stood in their respective places. Jack felt like all the threads of control he'd been holding, trying so hard to keep Ianto safe were snapping in his grip.

Ianto lifted his foot out of the coffee machine, and stepped over it, like he was stepping over a dead body and walked away, down the corridor to where he'd been sleeping. Jack waited until his footsteps were gone and then hurried down to the kitchen and knelt by the coffee machine, hopping it was salvageable. The panic bubbling at the back of his mind was ridiculous. It was just a coffee machine. _Ianto's coffee machine._

With tender hands, Jack lifted the coffee machine back onto the counter and stared at it. Bent, battered, delicate, like an abused victim. Ruined beyond repair. They would have to get a new one. But Jack wanted this machine. He _liked_ this machine. It had been a brilliant machine.

Now it had been completely ruined and Jack felt as guilty as if he'd done it himself.

~*~

Ianto wiped at his face, grimacing at the sweat on his forehead. The room was too warm, and it was too small. But Ianto wouldn't give into the claustrophobia that had been pulling at him since he'd been first condemned to being stuck in the Hub.

His foot twinged, having not appreciated being pushed into the coffee machine. But Ianto had not been able to resist the urge when it bled into his conscious thought.

His phone beeped. A text message.

Drawing in a deep breath, he flipped it open and read the message.

'_On my way. Will be there tomorrow, early. Xxx.' _

The sharpness, almost cheerfulness, of the message made the tight knot in Ianto's chest loosen a little. Things were always better with her. After all it was she who saved him. He just had to last the rest of the night and then he'd be able to get out and get away from Jack.

Still… if he was going to be leaving… Ianto couldn't resist angering Jack a bit more. At this point, he no longer cared if he'd ever felt anything for the immortal captain. Nothing he felt for the man was worth his freedom.

Smirking to himself, Ianto reached under the camp bed and withdrew a shoebox. Pulling out its contents, Ianto wondered just how much this would anger Jack, and then promptly decided that he didn't care. The angrier, the better.

He wasn't scared.

~*~

It was two hours since the coffee machine had been destroyed. Jack knew this because he'd been staring at the small clock on his desk since he'd returned to his office less than a minute after picking the machine up. Two hours and not a peep out of Ianto.

As Jack wondered how he could possibly resolve this mess, a strange smell tickled his nostrils. With a grunt Jack lifted up his head and sniffed deeper. He knew that smell. There probably wasn't a person in the western world who wouldn't recognise that smell these days.

Cigarette smoke.

Getting to his feet, Jack marched out of his office and like before, came to an abrupt halt by what he saw.

Ianto had never looked his age as much as he did right then. Sprawled out on the couch, his hair scruffy, stubble on his jaw, a large book in his lap and a cigarette dangling from his fingers. Without looking at Jack, Ianto took a deep drag of the cigarette, held his breath for a moment and then slowly let the smoke out of his lungs with the ease of a regular practitioner. Jack watched the pale grey smoke drift above Ianto's head, almost surrounding him. Jack could almost see the tendrils of the smoke wind around Ianto's throat, choking him.

That bubbling panic began to build up in the back of his mind again, even as he strolled down, trying not to react to an obvious goad.

"You shouldn't smoke. It's bad for you." he said in a light tone.

"So I've heard. But with so much shit in life, a single pleasure surely won't do any harm." Ianto smirked at him, his eyes dark, almost malicious. Jack wondered if that had always been there, just well hidden.

"It shortens your life."

"A life that has been too long already and will be cut short someday soon no doubt."

"That's not always the case."

"Really? We both know better than anyone the life expectancy of anyone working for Torchwood, especially Cardiff. The record's forty. Owen's almost there, isn't he? He's thirty three. Just seven more years until he breaks the record. It's impressive he's lived until now, thirty is the average age. So… four more years for me. What's a few inhalations of nicotine compared to a grouchy Weevil?"

Ianto took another deep drag, and just as slowly as before, let it out between his soft red lips. Jack felt like he could see the smoke permeating through Ianto's body, damaging it, taking away precious moments. Hurting him.

Repressing a growl, Jack clenched his fists and said,

"Put it out."

"I'd rather not. May as well enjoy the last of it, eh?" Ianto's eyes were daring Jack to take action.

"The smoke isn't good for Myfanwy." It was a lame excuse, but Ianto still cared about the dinosaur, Jack was sure.

"She doesn't mind." Ianto rolled the cigarette between his fingers, then took another, smaller drag. He was taking his time, enjoying the sensations flowing into his body. By closing his eyes, an almost blissful expression on his face, Ianto was almost recreating the image that had made Jack start this whole incarceration. Enjoyment of damaging himself.

And Jack snapped.

In a matter of seconds Ianto found himself pressed against the wall, Jack's hands curled into fists around the front of his shirt, and Jack's face pressed into his.

"Why are you doing this?! Why are you being so fucking difficult! Why won't you just grow up and let me help you?"

Ianto's lips curled away from his teeth, baring them in a furious gesture, and his eyes sparked with an unbearable fury.

"You call this help? You call your offering of a pity fuck, of making me feel like a used whore help? You absolute bastard!"

Ianto grabbed Jack's wrists, twisted and jerked them and Jack let go. Then, with a snarl, Ianto threw Jack away from him. Jack toppled over the couch and landed on his front with a groan. Ianto rushed after him and threw him onto his back, bringing his fist back and punching Jack in the mouth.

"You bastard! You bastard! You think you're a god, Jack fucking Harkness, that you can call the shots over everyone. Well I won't let you rule over me! You wanna help me? You wanna make me feel pain. Then fine. You do just that!"

Jack didn't have a chance to figure out just what that meant as Ianto smashed his head into the ground, making stars burst in front of his eyelids. It was only when he realised his trousers and pants had been pulled down that he realised what Ianto was trying to do.

"Ianto, stop! You can't do this."

Ianto held him down, having already pulled down his own trousers. Jack managed to catch his eyes and was horrified at the fury and the instability in them. "Why not? Isn't this what you offered? Isn't this what you wanted?" The Welshman spat into his own hand and reached for Jack, stroking hard.

"Not like this. Ianto, don't! You'll hurt yourself." Jack wasn't alarmed on his own behalf. He knew Ianto would stop if he said no.

"I don't care! You bastard, you don't get it do you! You don't care, you never do." Ianto wasn't listening to him, only focused on one thing and one thing alone.

Jack tried to sit up again, but Ianto hit him again and pressed him down as he impaled himself on Jack. Ianto shouted in pain, one hand reaching up to pull at his own hair, swearing and screaming at himself. His free hand pinned Jack's to his chest. Jack watched in horror as Ianto began to fall apart, his hand scratching vicious red marks across his neck, his voice breaking as he snarled and swore, calling himself things Jack wanted to refute. With a burst of determination, Jack managed to pull his hands free and before Ianto could pin him again, Jack rolled them over. He held Ianto down, pinning his wrists to either side of his head. Ianto's eyes widened in fright as he looked up at Jack, well aware he was no longer in control.

"I won't let you hurt yourself, and I won't let you use me to do it, Ianto."

"Get off me."

"I'm sorry, but I can't. I won't let you hurt anymore."

Jack held Ianto's wrists in one hand, and with the other he gently stroked Ianto's cheek, moving to his neck when Ianto tried to bite him. Ianto kicked out, but it only served to drive Jack deeper into him. Jack sighed as he kissed Ianto's neck, moving his hand to between his legs, stroking, almost tickling him. Ianto squirmed, and a soft sob escaped his throat.

"You bastard. You can't! You can't."

"I'm doing this to help you. I'm not trying to hurt you."

"I don't want that! I don't want this! I want-"

"I know what you want, Ianto. But I can't give it to you. Not like that. I'm going to take care of you." Jack moved his hips gently, halting every time Ianto grimaced. He wanted to turn this vicious assault into gentle love making. He wanted Ianto to let himself be loved, to want that over hurting himself. Ianto struggled, but Jack hadn't heard him say no, so he kept going. If Ianto said no he would pull away at once. He wasn't about to make this a rape.

Ianto tried to impale himself, but Jack moved against those movements, keeping it soft. Ianto's breath was coming in heavy pants, tears sliding down his cheeks, panic in his eyes.

"Tell me to stop and I will, we can stop now Ianto. Or you can let me take care of you."

"I don't- I can't- I… I…"

"Yes, Ianto come on, let me help you." Jack kept up the gentle movements of his hips, each time touching that sweet spot. Ianto let out a sob, screwed his eyes shut, and began to go limp in Jack's grip. Jack stopped at once.

"Ianto, I'm not trying to force you, not like that. Please, look at me."

Ianto bit his lip and after many seconds opened his eyes. For a moment, his eyes softened as they looked at Jack. Then they hardened and Ianto roared and he pulled an arm free and Jack had no chance to stop him before something hard and heavy crashed into his head and everything went dark.

* * *

Can I just say that when I started this fic it was meant to be a but angsty, a bit fluffy and rather short? Where'd that plan go? This plotbunny has mutated beyond recognition!

Concrit would be seriously appreciated at this point, as I've never really gone this deep into the murky depths of angst, and I'd love to know how I'm doing.

More soon.

Night's Darkness


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you so much guys for being so supportive of the last chapter I was so nervous about it. I'm glad it went down well.

Not really a lot of Ianto in this chapter, but there's a helping of Jack-angst for you.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 15**

When Jack came around he knew he hadn't died again, as this was the slow, difficult struggle to regain consciousness, rather than the sudden ability to breathe again. His head and neck were killing him as he tilted his head back, trying to remember what had happened to knock him out. Then his eyes snapped opened as he realised he was tied down. Looking around in a panic he found he'd been tied –or taped rather- with duck tape to his office chair. A quick struggle proved that duck tape was a tough bastard. Plus, his feet had been taped to the legs and Ianto had done a good job-

Ianto!

Jack groaned in horror as he replayed what had happened in his head. He could probably not have handled that whole thing worse. If there was a way he could have, Jack didn't want to know it.

It was then he noticed music was playing through the Hub, probably from a music player in the main Hub as Jack couldn't see where it was coming from. It was loud, rock type music, and Jack wondered if Ianto was down there, listening to it.

"Ianto! IANTO!"

There was no answer. Jack called again, hoping he was just being ignored and that Ianto hadn't done the unthinkable. Or escaped.

No one came. Jack was tied to a chair, which had in turn been stuck to the ground and he'd no idea where his young lover –although he sincerely doubted he had the right to call Ianto that after all this- had gone. He couldn't even get to the phone to call for Owen or Tosh or Gwen. His only choice was to wait for one of them to come in. And that would be at least two hours.

Fuck it if this night didn't just keep getting better and better.

The music was the only thing he could pay attention to to keep his mind occupied. It was loud, but as Jack paid attention, he realised that it was more melodic than just noise. Ianto must have set it on replay because the same song kept playing, over and over. The lyrics became clear by the third time he listened to it and the words made his blood run cold,

_When you found me on the street  
Did you think you rescued me?  
Bet you thought without you I would die  
Like a snake you swallowed me  
I took it till I couldn't breathe  
Just to bring your fantasies to life  
You count on the faithful  
To get your way  
And to follow your light_

_You got it wrong now  
'cause I don't give a ****  
I'm not your believer  
You got it wrong so  
I guess you're out of luck  
Your dream just lost a dreamer_

Jack knew that Ianto had been very deliberate in putting this song on, letting him hear it over and over. Ianto wanted Jack to realise how badly he'd handled everything, and just how Ianto felt about him. Jack could only wonder if Ianto had always felt this way deep down.

_You fool me with your mystery  
Preaching peace and charity  
But I see through your vanity and lies_

The words began to swim in Jack's head, getting inside him, drilling through his brain. It was beginning to physically hurt, as they came back, over and over with the same volume and strength.

_You think you got the best of me  
But I will rewrite history  
I'll take back my life to your surprise  
If I could make it as painful  
As you did for me  
I'd be just wasting my time_

Jack struggled against the bonds, throwing his weight from side to side, but the chair barely budged. The claustrophobia was beginning to build inside his chest and he struggled not to hyperventilate. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gone outside for air. He'd normally wait until everyone was home to go out for a walk and a roof view. But with Ianto in the Hub he'd stayed, ignoring his own sense of entrapment in favour of watching over Ianto. Only now Ianto was missing, and Jack was trapped.

_You got it wrong now  
'cause I don't give a ****  
I'm not your believer  
You got it wrong so  
I guess you're out of luck  
Your dream just lost a dreamer_

Jack swore as the panic brought forth memories of being trapped on the Valiant, unable to get away. Anger flared up inside him. He'd just been trying to help! He did not deserve this, he did not deserve to remember that Year!

The last lyrics of the song were sung with almost no music backing it, and every time Jack heard it he felt like a knife was being plunged into his chest,

_There's a little part of me  
That would like to see you cry  
Even if it's just one tear  
I know it would never dry_

Jack didn't want to give in, but the anger and panic dissolved into tears which began to flow down his cheeks. Lowering his head, Jack let the sobs escape his mouth. He'd just wanted to help. He'd just wanted to save someone he loved.

Just wanted to help…

~*~

When Tosh arrived that morning, she entered a Hub that was almost shaking with blaring music, the floor was strew with papers, the air smelled stale with cigarette smoke…

And there was blood on the floor near the couch.

"Jack!" Tosh called over the music, running to her computer and switching it off. There was a ringing silence in the Hub as the music stopped. A chill passed down Tosh's spine. "Jack!"

There was a scuffle from Jack's office, and Tosh immediately went for her gun. Holding it aloft and ready to fire, she made her way up the stairs, eyes wide and alert. As she entered Jack's office, the sight before her made her lower her gun and her heart to break.

Jack was slumped in his office seat, his wrists and ankles bound to it by duck tape. His head was lowered, his hair somewhat obscuring his eyes. As Tosh stared at him, Jack lifted his head to stare back. Tears had marked his cheeks, his mouth was bruised and bloody, and his eyes were showing so much pain Tosh wanted to kill whoever had made him feel like that.

"Oh God Jack!"

Setting her gun on the desk, Tosh grabbed a scissors and started cutting through the tape, after touching Jack in a comforting gesture. "What happened Jack? Who did this?"

Jack's head hung again, and he wouldn't look at her. His voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke, voice hoarse,

"Ianto."

"What? He couldn't have… oh God Jack why would he do this to you?"

"…not what it looks like."

"What are you talking about?" Tosh's voice was breathless as she knelt down and hacked at the tape around Jack's ankles, her hands almost trembling as she pulled and cut.

"My fault…"

"No! This can't be, it couldn't have been… oh, Jack." Tosh sat back on her heels and looked up at Jack. He looked broken, blue eyes melting into more tears as he rubbed the tender skin of his now free wrists. Toshiko reached out and cupped his jaw, making him look at her. "Jack, tell me what happened here. Please."

Jack swallowed hard, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. Tosh could see now just how badly he'd been affected by whatever had happened between him and Ianto.

"We had a fight… he was smoking, and he broke the coffee machine, on purpose. I got… I got so angry and I grabbed him… hurt him. I yelled at him, told him to grow up. And he- he just snapped." Jack wiped a hand over his face, sniffing hard, trying to get himself under control. "Tosh, he's not down there is he?"

"I'll find him, but first you have to tell me what else happened. What did Ianto do?"

"He… he punched me, and knocked me over." Jack touched his swollen mouth, wincing. He gave a crooked grin, "Always forget he's got a sharp right hook. He's so… He's so lost Toshiko. I pushed too hard, and he ended up… well, he ended up taking me up on my terms, but not the way I'd meant."

"Oh my… you mean he-?" Tosh felt ill as she imagined Ianto forcing Jack, but her brain and her heart were screaming negations. _'He couldn't have!'_

"No! No, nothing like that –I mean, not exactly." Jack clenched one fist and ran his fingers through his hair with the other hand. "We… it wasn't as if I couldn't have stopped him. I could have. I never said no. I wanted to try to stop him from looking for pain, I wanted to help him let go, to let himself be, be cared for. In the end I was just as bad as he was. I… I can't-"

Jack's face crumpled and Tosh immediately bundled him in her arms, holding him tight and rubbing his back. She said nothing, offered no empty words, just let him cling to her. After a while Jack managed to get himself under some semblance of control and pulled away. Rubbing at his face, he tried to flash her a reassuring smile, but Tosh just stared at him, not sure what to feel besides horror.

Jack gave a self deprecating laugh, "I really made a mess of this, didn't I?"

Tosh nodded, not trusting her voice.

Jack nodded too, taking in a deep breath, "We… we need to find him, make sure he's ok. He's had at least two hours, probably way more to do whatever he's doing, so… we'll find him." Jack got to his feet, prepared to get to work, but Tosh stepped in front of him.

"I'll find him. You are going to go and wash up, gather yourself together. I'm not going to pretend to know what exactly went on between you two last night, but it's hurt you and it's no doubt hurt Ianto. Go and take a bit of time to allow that to seep in before you make another rash decision. I'll find out where Ianto went."

Jack wanted to protest, to remind her that he was the boss. But he reminded himself that it was that very attitude that had resulted in this. So he nodded, kissed his Toshiko on the cheek and turned away, going down to his private quarters to gather himself together. As much as he hurt, Ianto was probably hurting so much more.

~*~

"I'm gonna kill him! I'll fucking kill him!"

"Don't you dare Owen! Don't you dare!"

Owen froze as Tosh shouted at him. He seemed surprised that it was her doing the yelling. Usually she left that to Gwen. But Gwen was too busy trying to digest what she'd heard and seen to scream at anyone –yet.

"Owen, Jack's hurting just as much as anyone else. Yes, he made a huge mistake, several in fact, but that doesn't mean you can go and rip into him. He's hurting enough! Now, I'm telling you to go up to the meeting room and wait there so we can have a staff meeting."

"A staff meeting?" Owen's voice held an all too familiar sneer, one which Tosh was in no mood to deal with.

"Yes! A staff meeting, where we are going to act like rational adults for once and figure out what we have to do next to try to fix this!"

"You know where Ianto is then?"

"First thing I did after I untied Jack from the chair. He's fine. Upset judging by his face on the CCTV, but not in any physical danger. I've got the system monitoring him. Now go up to the meeting room."

Owen snapped his mouth shut and obeyed Tosh's orders with a sullen, shaken expression. Gwen got up to follow him, reaching a hand out to touch Tosh's arm,

"You ok?"

"I can't decide if I'm more upset or furious at the whole lot of them right now."

Gwen gave her arm a brief squeeze, "I know how you feel."

"It wasn't Ianto's fault. Nor was it Jack's. It just… it happened." Tosh wasn't sure who she was trying to convince or if she had to try. Gwen nodded and then walked up to the room.

"Sometimes I think you should be the leader."

Tosh jumped and snapped her head towards Jack's office. He was standing there, looking much more like himself.

"Don't be silly Jack. You're just having a really bad… month."

Jack gave her another crooked smile and said, "He's ok?"

"I think so. I'll tell you where he is when we've decided what we're going to do next."

"To keep me from being stupid."

"Sometimes we all need saving from ourselves. This is my way of doing it for you." Tosh gave him a small smile. Jack chuckled and walked up to the meeting room. Tosh followed him and took her seat next to him, with Owen on her other side. Owen and Jack's eyes met and they both look away, upset and angry. Tosh rolled her eyes.

"Ok, I know where Ianto is, and he seems ok, if a bit distressed."

"Only a bit?" asked Gwen, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, he is quite good at hiding his feelings. In any case, we can deal with him when we've come to an agreement."

"About what?"

"About how we're going to handle this. Quite frankly, everything you two have done has backfired in an even more spectacular way than even Torchwood usually manage. So, now you're going to listen to me and Gwen."

"You should never have locked him up like you did Jack. All you did was condense everything until Ianto blew. You know he wanted control in his life and all you did was take more and more of it away." Gwen managed to sound angry and upset at the same time, a great guilt inducing combo.

"I just-"

"Just wanted to help. We know Jack, but quite frankly the way you went about it was bollocks. Things have only gotten worse and now everyone's been hurt. You can't be a boss and a friend to Ianto in this. You have to be one or the other. If you're a boss, you'll give him time off and you'll lighten his workload if that's what he needs. If you're his friend, you'll look out for him as a friend, talk to him, take care of him. But you cannot be both. It's an abuse of power under the circumstances."

"Ok, ok, I get it. I screwed up."

"Yes Jack, you did, and you're not going to just get away with admitting it and trying to act like things are normal again with you. It doesn't work like that."

"I want to talk to him." said Owen out of the blue.

"What?"

"Ianto. I wanna talk to Ianto. On my own."

"Owen-"

"No look, I went along with Jack's plan because I thought keeping Ianto under lock and key would let me help him, but clearly I was just being stupid. Now I need to talk to Ianto, at the very least let him know that I'm sorry for not trying to help him get out of the Hub. I just… I just need to talk to him."

The two women shared a look, then Gwen said,

"Ok, so long as you can keep your bloody temper in check. But maybe not just yet."

"How did Ianto get out of the Hub anyway? I blocked all his access codes."

"He managed to break through the electronic locks by sheer force. He used the computer equivalent of a battering ram. It's left a mess behind, which tells us how desperate he was to get out."

"CCTV?"

"Are you sure you want to-?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

Tosh sighed and entered a few commands into her PDA. The footage came on in the middle of Jack and Ianto's fight, just after Ianto threw Jack to the ground. Jack winced. He should have known better than to take Ianto on. When he was angry, Ianto was a force to be reckoned with. Emotionally and mentally fragile, maybe, but Ianto was a very strong young man. Jack tended to forget that. Ianto had sometimes seemed nervous of his size and strength around people he cared about.

Owen hissed to himself as Ianto began clawing at himself.

"He's lucky he didn't break the skin."

"You didn't hear what he was saying to himself as he did it." Jack was glad no one was giving him sympathetic looks. He didn't really blame Ianto. It hurt, what he'd done, but Jack had more or less caused all of it. "He was calling himself all sorts of horrible names. It was… horrid."

The team said no more as they watched Jack reverse him and Ianto and try to turn the violence into something gentler. Then Ianto clubbed him with the huge book he'd been reading when Jack had seen him smoking. Ianto scrambled away from the unconscious Jack and curled up in a ball, burying his face in his knees for a few minutes. Then he suddenly leapt into action.

Grabbing Jack, Ianto dragged it up to his office. Tosh made the footage jump a few minutes, where Ianto was presumably taping Jack to the chair, to when he ran out of the room. He looked the picture of distressed and quickly began typing furiously at the computers.

"At some point he switched the music on, I don't know why."

"I thought it was to drive me mad." murmured Jack.

"Looks to me he's trying to do something to get rid of the silence." Gwen's voice was soft, matching Jack's.

"In any case, all he did was unlock the doors and ran out of the Hub, look. He didn't do anything to hint a plan of revenge or anything. He's just running away. I followed his movements. He spent some time wandering around, and then sat in an alley for a while, just not moving. Then he took out his mobile and made a call. I've checked the number, but I don't know who the person he called is. The computer is looking for them now. Then he went to the Tesco at about 5 am. He came out with bread and went to the park. Since 6 am he's been sitting and feeding the ducks. He seems to be waiting for something."

"Waiting for us maybe."

"Doubtful. I think he's waiting for whoever he called."

"So what do we do?"

"Well… maybe we should just see what happens. I mean, we can't just chase after him, he'll only run again. So… what if we watch over him, but don't interfere unless he looks to be in danger?"

"I think that's a good idea."

"So we do nothing?"

"No. We take a passive method to trying to help Ianto, by letting him try to help himself first."

"But-"

"No. I'm sorry Jack, but no. You've proved that interfering won't work. So… Owen, you're gonna let him know we're looking out for him, but until he wants to see us, we won't approach him."

"Me?"

"You wanted to talk to him, now you have an excuse."

"I…" Now that he was about to do it, Owen looked like he wanted nothing more than to not do it.

"C'mon you. Time to act like a grown up." said Gwen, getting to her feet. Owen gave her a sour look, as if he dearly wanted to snap at her. But he stayed silent and followed her. As they went to the garage, Tosh looked at Jack, who looked incredibly depressed. With a heavy sigh, Tosh got to her feet and stood by him. Jack looked up at her with sad blue eyes. Tosh had no words for him, so she just pressed her lips to his brow and squeezed his shoulder. Jack swallowed hard and leaned against her. One hand cupped her hip to hold her there, so she wouldn't go away. Tosh didn't object.

* * *

The song was "You Got It Wrong" by The Rasmus. I hope it works.

Concrit is appreciated

Night's Darkness


	16. Chapter 16

Ok, I know it's been a while since my last update but I do have a valid excuse. I've been completely freaked about the next section of this fic. It requires an OC that I've been desperate to write well because without her the whole fic will fall apart, but that makes me anxious about the risk of descending into Mary-Sue territory, it involves a lot of jumping around timeline-wise and I've been worried about the writing style itself… suffice to say it's been playing on my mind. Partly because you've all be so supportive of this fic which has really twisted itself up into a complex knot, that I want to make sure it's good enough for you, 'cause I would never have taken it this route if you hadn't all been so great. So, after all that rambling, what I'm trying to say is… Thank you soooooo much for being such amazing readers and reviewers and just… thank you.

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Ianto ripped pieces of bread from the loaf and tossed them into the pond water. The ducks, drakes and ducklings all paddled towards the soggy bits and snapped their bills to snatch them up. There was something incredibly soothing about the motions he was going through as he awaited her arrival. She'd gotten stuck because of an early morning traffic accident, but she'd told him over the phone that she'd be with him ASAP. Ianto had faith that she'd keep her promise.

"Hey."

Ianto didn't have the energy to be surprised at Owen's arrival.

"Hey."

The greeting was more of a sigh. Owen sat down on the bench with about a foot of space between them.

"Aren't you cold?"

"No. It's a warm enough morning."

"Well, I'm bloody freezing." Owen huffed, pulling at his coat. Ianto pulled out more bread. He swallowed hard.

"Owen?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Jack ok?"

"He's got a hell of a headache, but otherwise he's fine."

"Good. I didn't mean to hurt him. But I was angry."

"Yeah, so I gathered."

Neither brother looked at the other.

"Are you here to drag me back? Because I won't go."

"I'm not. I'm here to tell you that we're not gonna interfere with your life anymore. You don't have to come back with me. Until you're ready to be around us, we're gonna leave you alone. But we're gonna keep an eye on you, make sure you're ok."

"At least you're being honest about your snooping this time."

"Yeah…"

Owen and Ianto still hadn't looked at each other. Ianto managed to get one duckling, all downy and soft, to climb out of the pond and to pick up some bread nearer their feet.

"Look, I wanted to tell you… I wanted to say I was sorry. I shouldn't have let my own… issues cloud my judgement about Jack keeping you in the Hub."

"You're right. You shouldn't have. I already told you, you can't just decide to be my brother now that you know I had a cliché shitty childhood. I won't be your guilt absolver so you can feel better."

"I know. I mean– I get it. I'm still sorry."

"Thank you."

Owen knew he was being dismissed, but he didn't want to leave yet.

"You're running out of bread. I could go get you some more."

"Nah, it's ok. I'm just waiting for someone."

"Friend?"

"Yes."

"Well… I guess I'll just…" Owen didn't know how to finish that sentence, so he just stood to leave.

"Ow'n?"

Owen froze, then turned around. Ianto was looking at him with big, sad blue eyes.

"Tell Jack… I'm sorry. I'm still furious as hell, but I… I should never have done what I did."

"I will, I promise."

Ianto nodded and then looked back at the duckling that was now right next to his foot, pecking up the bread bits. The tiny little wings, too small to fly with yet, flapped in a cheerful way, and it cheeped up at Ianto. Ianto gave the tiniest of smiles, tossing more bread to it. Owen felt his own lips twitch and quickly turned and walked away. There was so much to say, but Owen knew he couldn't say it yet. Ianto wouldn't listen. But hearing him sort of admit that things weren't right with him, for some reason it made Owen feel relieved. As he got back in the SUV, he gave Gwen a small smile.

"How was he?"

"He seems ok, considering. A bit in shock I'd say. He's waiting for a friend he says. Dunno who it is."

"I think we're about to find out, look." Gwen nodded towards Ianto.

Owen turned to see Ianto stand up and approach an auburn haired woman, about his own age. She smiled up at him, and although they couldn't see Ianto's face, they could guess he was glad to see her by the way he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

"Well… that's… interesting." Gwen's eyes were huge in surprise.

Owen just groaned.

~*~

Ianto watched as Owen's reflection disappeared from the pond. His duckling cheeped up at him again and he sprinkled more crumbs.

"Hey!"

Ianto looked up at once and his eyes lit up as he spotted her.

'_Michaela.'_

The name rang through his head as he got to his feet. She looked much the same as she had the last time he'd seen her. Older maybe. But her green eyes were still the same as she gave him a smile.

Michaela stopped about two feet from Ianto and waited for him to close the distance. Ianto stepped forward, so he was toe to toe with her. Looking down at her face, he couldn't resist leaning forward and kissing her. Michaela gave a soft chuckle as she kissed him back. Both of them kept their lips sealed, but the kiss seemed to last for a long time. Ianto reached a hand up and cupped her jaw, unable to pull away just yet. There was an incredible sense of safety and comfort washing over him. This was familiar to him. She would make it better. She had before.

Pulling away, Michaela smiled up at him, "So, happy to see me then?"

Ianto grinned, "You've no idea how happy."

"Well, it's always nice to feel welcome." Michaela laughed. Ianto grinned at the sound of her muddled accent. It was even stronger in real life rather than on the phone. "So…"

Now that she was here, Ianto didn't know what to say to her. He couldn't find words to tell her what had happened over the past month.

Michaela stared up into Ianto's face. Her green eyes searched his blue ones, and then she smiled and took his elbow, steering him around.

"Aren't you gonna give me the grand tour of Cardiff? Put your tourist office experience to good use, eh?"

Ianto stared at her and smiled. Grateful that she didn't ask any big questions, he took her hand and entwined his fingers with hers.

"Yeah, come on. I'll show you why Cardiff is better than Dublin, Belfast and Glasgow combined."

"Oh, bring it, boyo."

Ianto grinned at the challenge and did something he hadn't done in days. He laughed. It wasn't a bellow, or loud, but it was genuine, and it felt really good.

Already she was making it better.

~*~

"How is he?" demanded Jack as Gwen and Owen returned.

"He seems… a bit dazed, in shock, you know? But better than I'd expected to be honest." said Owen.

"You guys seem to forget that Ianto's very strong, in every way. He's not inclined to break under a nudge." said Gwen shaking her head.

"Anything else?" Jack pressed.

"He wanted me to say… he wanted me to tell you that he's still furious with you-" Jack visibly deflated, "But that he's sorry for what he did."

Jack gave a small smile at that. His eyes brightened too, and Owen was glad he'd ignored the spiteful little voice in his head and passed the message on. It was for the same reason he didn't mention the way Ianto had kissed the strange woman as he asked,

"Tosh, Ianto met up with a woman as I left. Seemed very familiar to him. Can you find out who she is?" Owen raised his eyebrows at the Asian woman.

"Nope."

"What? You're not still pissed off with me, are you?"

"I'm annoyed, but that's not why I'm saying no. Look, I saw the footage, and I think we shouldn't try to use Torchwood to pry anymore. So that means no more Ghost Machines, no more locking people up, and no more looking people up because we see Ianto with them. If he wants us to know them, he'll introduce us to them, or tell us. So, I'm not going to dig up this woman's background."

Owen sighed, he saw her point. Didn't mean he had to like it.

"Owen, how's that autopsy on the Weevil we killed yesterday coming?"

"Nearly done Jack."

"Then you'd better get it done."

Owen nodded, knowing he was being told that Jack agreed with Tosh and that they had to get back to work. Even if it just wasn't the same without Ianto's coffee.

~*~

_(__6__th__ November 2002)_

Glasgow sucked!

That was Ianto's summation of the city from start to finish. It was freezing cold for one thing, and Ianto didn't have clothes that could tackle the chill in a way that let him sleep comfy on the street. All he hand for trousers was two pairs of jeans –one of which he was wearing-, and of course, denim did it level best to absorb the damp cold as much as possible. His jacket and t-shirts were thin and his hoodie was filthy, stank, and made everyone watch him, waiting for him to go for a knife.

It was much the same tonight as it had been yesterday, and everyday since he'd arrived two weeks ago. Clear skies, shining stars and no heat insulating clouds. During the day it rained, almost without fail, from dawn until dusk. Ianto was still damp from today's onslaught. He was well aware he smelled like a wet dog. Not to mention his bag had gotten soaked, so nothing he owned right now was dry.

The cold had seeped into his jeans, and gusts of wind curled into the hole at his knee, chilling his skin and making goosebumps rise on his legs. His shivering was so extreme it almost looked like he was fitting against the wall. Not that anyone would care if they saw him. Ianto could be having a heart attack in the middle of the most public street and no one would bother about him.

The cigarette dangling from his fingers was the only source of warmth he had at the moment, huddled against a wall, listening to the thumping sound of a club he'd been rejected from because of his shabby appearance. Having nothing better to do, he'd gone around the back to huddle in the alley, out of the worst of the wind.

Ianto had no idea what he was going to do tomorrow. He was out of money and he was not going to get caught shoplifting again. And he didn't have any way of trying to make himself look more, well, normal, to try and get a job. He'd had a few, mainly in coffee shops and restaurants as he'd made his way slowly up the UK from Wales to Scotland. But he'd not been able to get a job since arriving in Glasgow and the money he'd earned had run out very fast.

As Ianto let out the last drag of his cigarette, the white-gray smoke swirled around his head before dissipating into the air. Pointless and brief. If it weren't for the fact that Ianto had found no other pleasure in life in the last few years, he wouldn't have bother to waste money on them.

A small commotion to the left made Ianto lift his head.

A man and a woman, probably about his own age, eighteen, had wandered into the alley. At first Ianto thought they were a couple looking for a wall to shag against. Then he noticed that the guy was pulling at the girl's arms, and dragging her along with him. As Ianto watched, the guy grabbed the girl with both hands and shoved her against the wall. The girl whimpered, and the street light near the corner showed the fright on her face in harsh sodium orange.

"You think I'll let you look at some shithead like that? You fucking slut!"

The sharp sound of a slap echoed through the street, followed at once by the yelp of the girl. Ianto straightened up, narrowing his eyes. The slap wasn't enough for him to interfere. Their business wasn't his. Besides, sometimes things weren't how they seemed. In public Ivor had seemed like a good stepfather. Still, Ianto didn't think he liked how the guy was crushing his hips against hers, or how he was pinning her against the wall. In Ianto's eyes it was too aggressive. But then again, maybe she liked it like that. Ianto had never understood why people would enjoy such aggressive actions in something that was meant to feel good.

"I'm sorry Blaine. I wasn't looking, I wasn't." The girl pressed her hand to her cheek, frightened, but trying to reason with the guy. Ianto could already tell he wouldn't be reasoned with. He'd seen that expression on Ivor's face more than enough times. Biting his lower lip, Ianto pushed off the wall, dropping the stub of the cigarette. He was still reluctant to do anything.

"Now you're lying to me, eh? You little-"

The guy hit the girl again, dragging her down to the ground and getting on top of her. Ianto stiffened. Suddenly every inch of him was screaming to do something, but he couldn't move. Then the girl's voice pierced his ears,

"Blaine, don't please! I'm sorry!"

Everything sped up.

Ianto lunged at the man and punched him in the face with a roar. The force of the lunge forced the guy off the girl, who let out a shriek. The guy swore and tried to fight back, but Ianto was bigger than him, and had the upper hand. With a good punch to the face, the man was unconscious, slumped across the street.

Panting, Ianto straightened up and turned to face the girl. With a whimper she scrambled back on her hands, pressing against the wall, staring up at him with big eyes. Her lip was split and bleeding down her chin. Ianto stepped forward and she scrambled back a bit more with a frightened squeal. Ianto stopped, lifting one hand in peace.

"Relax, I won't hurt you."

"You… you won't?"

"No." Ianto knew he should probably help her stand, but the idea of touching her made his skin crawl. So he just stood there as she struggled to her feet. She was wearing an outfit that was typical for a club goer. Short skirt and sparkly top that did the imagination's work for it. The heels were so big it was probably a miracle she'd stayed so steady. She certainly wasn't steady now, as her legs gave out as she tried to stand and she ended up in a heap on the ground. Ianto automatically looked away as her skirt rode up and he registered her lack of underwear. She glanced up at him and began to cry.

Ianto looked at her, curled into herself, a fist pressed to her mouth as if to muffle the sound. Her mascara was streaked down her cheeks and she was shaking so hard she couldn't keep her hand steady against her face. She looked so pathetic and small.

Ianto half considered walking away. This really wasn't his business. Plus, no one had ever looked after him when he'd been scared and crying. No one had cared.

These thought's swirling in his head, Ianto found himself walking away and picking up his backpack. Then he turned around and walked over to the guy and searched his pockets for his wallet, taking the money from it and putting it in his pocket. Then he glanced at the girl. She was still crying, sitting in the filth and shit of an alley, with her vicious boyfriend, now moneyless, unconscious on the ground near her. Truly pathetic. With an inner snarl at himself, Ianto swept the crying girl into his arms and walked away with her. The girl let out a rather ladylike squeal as he picked her up, but otherwise did nothing but cry as Ianto carried her to the police station. Ianto was glad of it, he couldn't handle more human contact than this.

~*~

Two hours later and Ianto had decided he'd had enough. The police were giving him dirty looks and the girl had been in the witness room, or whatever it was called for ages. Fed up, hungry and angry, Ianto was all set to leave when the girl finally came out. A thin blanket was wrapped over her shoulders and she was still hiccupping. She'd scrubbed at her face at some stage and so her thick make up had been half scrapped off, making her face look two toned.

The policewoman, with her hand on her shoulder, said to Ianto, "We'll be taking Michaela here-"

So that was her name, Ianto supposed it suited her, with her Irish accent and red hair. "-and letting her get some rest in a private room while we call her boss. She says he'll take care of her." The policewoman stared at Ianto, looking him over. "We could use a statement from you too, Mr…."

"Ianto Jones."

"Well, Mr. Jones, we could use a statement about what happened. It'll help us to have as much evidence as possible."

Ianto sighed, "Why didn't you ask me earlier?"

"We're a bit short staffed tonight, but it won't take long."

"Oh, come on, it's two in the morning."

"In a rush to be somewhere are you?" sneered a nearby policeman. Ianto threw him a furious look and was about to snap at him, when the girl, Michaela, spoke up,

"It's ok, you, you've done so much already. You don't have to-"

"Look, let's just get this over with." Ianto couldn't look at her. He felt like he'd seen too much of her, like she'd been bared to him, exposed, like something intimate had passed between them, something that meant… something. Ianto wanted nothing more than to get away from her. The policewoman nodded and took him into the room. He gave a brief description of what he'd seen, said that yes, if he saw him again he'd recognise him, and that no, he didn't have an address to give.

The look the woman had given him as he'd said that had meant that he couldn't leave the station quick enough. He didn't even bother making sure Michaela was ok –not that he really cared. He just wanted to put as much distance between himself and this night where he'd stepped out of the safety of the shadows.

~*~

_(Present) _

"Say it."

"You wish, Ianto."

"I mean it. Say Cardiff's better than Belfast, Dublin and Glasgow!"

"Not a chance. Now move it you Roman! I want a cup of tea."

"Oi! Celt, thank you very much."

"I won't call you that until you give me a cuppa."

Michaela gave Ianto a playful shove as he took his time unlocking his door. She was bouncing on the balls of her feet behind him, her luggage at her feet. She'd packed for at least a week. Ianto appreciated her foresight.

Ianto finally pushed the door open and held it open for Michaela as she carried her suitcase in.

"Spare room?"

Ianto pointed upwards, "Second door on the left, upstairs."

"Still can't believe you own a house!"

"Benefits of having no other reason to spend all the money I've earned over the years. Besides I still haven't paid off the mortgage yet, so I don't own it yet."

"It's still a house! Like, a proper one."

Michaela disappeared up the stairs and Ianto walked into the kitchen and through to the rabbits, who he let loose. Tosh had taken good care of them for him. He was boiling the kettle for the tea when Michaela came back down in fresh clothes, jeans, top and All Star Converses. Ianto grinned as he took in her top. She was wearing the 'Kiss me, I'm Irish' t-shirt, which he'd given her as a joke. Her retaliation had been to send him a specially made one saying, "Do me, I'm Welsh." The downside was that it was pink. Very pink. Lisa had loved it.

"So… I was wondering –Oh my God! Señor Fluffles! Hola!"

Michaela all but pounced on Señor and hauled him into her arms, "Cómo estás? Bueno? Esto está bien, ah estoy tan feliz verle otra vez! Usted se ha hecho tan grande... And hello Bart!"

Ianto shook his head as Michaela cooed to Bart in English and nattered to Señor in Spanish. It was something he was very used to, considering she had been the one to name him. Cuddling the big rabbit, Michaela leaned against the counter as Ianto poured some of the boiled water into the teapot and swirled it around, then tipped it out into the sink.

"You remembered how to make tea even after so long making coffee." Michaela looked amused and touched.

"I'd need to remember, you were very specific about how tea should be made."

"Yeah, if you need a good cuppa, you need an Irish person to show you how. You UK-ers don't know what yer doing."

Ianto sniggered. "You sounded really Scottish there."

"Well, ah'd hope so by now." Michaela grinned, strengthening the Scottish accent and weakening her Irish-Welsh accent she usually had around him. "A've only been living there almost seven bloody years now. Startin' to feel more Scottish than Irish."

"We can't have that now."

Michaela dropped the Scottish almost completely, "God, no we can't. Jesus, can you imagine it? Be a feckin' nightmare to go back if that happened, y'know, if I can ever be bothered." Michaela narrowed her eyes and Ianto knew she was thinking about why she'd left Ireland. They were silent as Ianto reboiled the kettle and dropped two teabags into the teapot and poured the water over them. A quick stir with a spoon and Ianto left it to brew. Michaela regarded him as she tucked Señor's head under her chin.

"You know, I came down from Scotland expecting to have to mount a daring rescue of some sort. Turns out you didn't need it."

"Doesn't mean I don't need you." Ianto met her eyes with inflexibility in his own. Michaela twitched her eyebrow at him.

"Aye?"

Ianto swallowed, looking at the floor and putting his hands on his hips. "I… I feel like I'm… going there again."

"Ah." Michaela's voice was soft and she set Señor down to give Ianto her full attention.

Ianto could barely get the words out coherently, "It's just, I feel like, like everything's just gone to shit in a hurricane and I can't make it stop, and I can't steady myself and I just, I just…"

"Breathe Ianto. Just breathe."

Ianto took deep breaths and managed to get himself under control. He looked at Michaela again, and stepped forward and cupped her cheek in his hand, kissing her lips. Michaela let him, but as he pulled away, she murmured, "Ianto…" in a warning.

"Look, I know I'm going to eventually tell you everything. Hell, I want to tell you everything. But not yet."

"So… what do you wanna do?"

Ianto held her face in his hands, hyper-aware of the feel of her skin in his palms. Every touch with Michaela was filled with meaning, emotions that couldn't be expressed in an intelligent way. Michaela stared up at him, waiting in that patient way she always had, but without a hint of her once usual nervousness.

"I… I don't want to think about Torchwood, I don't want to think about any of it. I just want, I'm so tired of feeling so old. I want to be young again, eh? Help me remember what people our age do. I want to go out and drink, and actually have fun doing it. I miss having fun. It seems so long since I last did. Please Michaela, I need you to come out with me and let me forget for tonight. Please."

Michaela gripped his hands, pressing them to her face harder. Her eyes were burning into his, and she said,

"Ok, we can do that. But only that, right?"

Ianto knew what she meant. "Yeah. Only that, nothing more. Drink, dancing, just us. That's all. I promise."

"Then ok. But what do we do until then? It's only 12."

Ianto lowered his hands. "I dunno."

Michaela sighed and tucked some of her straight hair behind her ear, an awkward silence falling between them. Then Michaela looked at the teapot,

"That tea'll be ready. We can start with that. Then, I need a nap. I was driving all night and you gave me a thorough tour of this city. Besides, I need to actually unpack. And… if you want me to go out, I'll need more clothes. I didn't pack for going out. I packed for, for other things. You're gonna have to take me shopping."

"Ok." Ianto knew Michaela's taste in clothes would probably mean she'd have a perfectly fine outfit for going out, but she was giving him a way of avoiding the awkwardness and she seemed to sense his need to be outside for a while.

Turning away, Ianto poured out the tea and added the milk and sugar. Handing it to her, Ianto cracked a grin, "Here you go Mrs. Doyle."

"Oh, go on with you! Do you really think all Irish women are all like that one from Father Ted?"

"Do you really think all Welshmen are sheep-shaggers?"

Michaela waggled her eyebrows at him as she took a sip. "Ah now, don't you go changing the subject."

Ianto laughed, "Wouldn't dream of it. So when'll the priests start filling up the lingerie section?"

Michaela snorted, then choked on her tea. This made her burst out laughing as she coughed. As she rocked on her heels, squeezing her knees together, she gasped,

"No fair! I'm dying for a loo."

"You should have gone earlier."

"I wanted my tea! You don't fight fair."

"Why don't you just go to the bathroom? And when you get back I can explain to you the difference between small and far away."

Michaela groaned and shoved him. Ianto grinned and set his cup down, his hands reaching out with the single impulse to tickle. Michaela squealed and scurried away. Ianto's grin became mischievous.

Who was he to resist temptation?

* * *

Ok, *bounces* lemme know what you think so far. Any thoughts on the characters, like Michaela or on Ianto's behaviour, please, let me know.

Night's Darkness


	17. Chapter 17

Well, I did say the next chapter would be soon, so here it is! Thank you so much for all the supportive reviews, they were a real reassurance.

Enjoy!

**

* * *

  
**

**Chapter 17**

_(17__th__ November 2002)_

Ianto grunted as the man behind him pressed him against the wall by the back of his neck, moving faster and harder. All Ianto focused on was the pain. He needed a release for all the anger and frustration he'd been feeling lately and he would not do something as pathetic as self harm.

At last the man finished and pulled away. Ianto sagged against the wall, panting as he felt the pain ripple through his body. Fuck it if he didn't feel better for that. Thankfully, he'd already snuck the money out of the guy's pocket, so he didn't have to turn around and face a guy who was probably grinning in twisted satisfaction at his actions. Ianto had seen it on the first guy he'd seduced into doing what he wanted and had quickly figured out who to target.

The guy strutted away. Ianto pulled his jeans up and hissed a little at the pain as he bent to pick up his backpack. Then he realised he was being watched.

Looking up sharply, Ianto met the eyes of that girl from a couple of weeks ago, the one with the abusive boyfriend. Michaela, he recalled.

Gone was the slutty small skirt and sparkly top she'd been squeezed into and the stupidly big heels. Now she wore jeans, a t-shirt and a purple jacket, with runners and purple hat. And she was staring at him with an expression Ianto couldn't interpret.

The two youths stared at each other, Ianto wondering what the hell she was doing here and if she was going to say anything. God only knew what she was thinking after seeing that. Finally Ianto snapped in the silence and said,

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Michaela jumped and stuffed her hands in her jacket.

"I… I saw you from the other side of the street and I… I wanted to talk to you but you were… occupied. But I… I wanted to say something so I was waiting and, well, it's just that, I didn't-"

"Didn't what? Didn't expect to watch two guys fucking? Hope you enjoyed yourself." growled Ianto, feeling embarrassed and angry that he felt embarrassed.

"No, I didn't- I mean, I just… I didn't mean to watch. But I… I wanted to say, and I…"

"Oh for God's sake, will you say what you wanted to say? I want to go eat." Ianto stuffed his hands in his jacket, unintentionally mirroring her stance.

"I wanted to thank you!" blurted Michaela, looking very nervous, almost scared of him. A small part of Ianto felt bad about that. The rest of him didn't care.

"Oh?"

"Yeah… look, can I… can I buy you a coffee or something? I dunno what I should do… I mean, like, you don't have to, if you don't want to."

"Are you always this stammery." Ianto sneered. Something in Michaela's eyes flickered,

"Well, maybe if you weren't acting like a complete jackass!"

Ianto grit his teeth, who was she to talk to him like that? Then he noticed how huge her eyes were and how she'd taken an automatic step back as soon as she'd snapped at him. Like a kicked puppy that bit the kicker's ankle and then expected to be kicked again. Rolling his eyes, Ianto strode towards and then past her, making his way down the street. Then, pausing, he looked over his shoulder. Michaela was standing in the same place, staring at the ground. There was frustration, upser and bitterness on her face.

"You coming or not?"

Michaela jumped, lifting her head to meet his gaze. They regarded each other with a strange sort of suspicion and curiosity. Both with their hands in their pockets, both with hunched shoulders and both with weary eyes. After a moment, Michaela jogged over to him and they fell into step together –over an arms-length of distance between them- heading for a nearby café.

Ianto bought a sandwich and a coffee. Michaela just bought a tea. Ianto glared at the barista who'd given him a snooty look as she'd taken his order. He knew he was shabby looking, hence why he'd stolen from the bastard he'd fucked. If he didn't shave soon he'd gain a full on beard. At 18 that was just a dumb look. Unless he wanted to be seen as a geologist…

Ianto ignored his companion as he ate. If she wanted to speak, she'd speak.

As he finished off the sandwich, she did.

"Look, I wanted to thank you for what you did. You've no idea how… how much you helped me."

"Been with him a while then?"

"That obvious?" Michaela cupped the mug in her hands, resting her forearms on the table. "What, do I scream 'sad sod here, please come beat me up'?"

"No. Just figured it, you talked to him like you knew him."

"Yeah… nearly nine months now."

"That's quite a while." Ianto didn't add, _'for someone who could probably have walked away whenever.'_ He'd a feeling she wouldn't appreciate it.

"Yeah… well, felt like a lifetime to be honest with you." Michaela flicked her side fringe out of her eyes and looked at him. "Ianto, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ianto what?"

"Jones."

"Michaela Murphy." She gestured to herself as if Ianto needed help knowing who she was referring to. She didn't extend a hand like he'd expected, just kept to her own body space. Ianto could appreciate that. "You Welsh?"

"Obviously."

"Well, pardon me, but I grew up mainly in the part of Ireland that didn't give a toss about the UK and the way it identifies its separate parts. You know, the part that you lot don't have under your thumb any more."

Ianto snorted, "You can have the rest for all I care."

"Yeah well, I'd say the Unionists would have something to say about that."

"What Unionists, didn't your lot, the I. shoot them all or something?"

Michaela glared at Ianto, who scowled back. Then her mouth twitched and she ducked her head to chuckle into her mug. Looking back up, she gave him the smallest of smiles. "I like that. I.."

Ianto raised an eyebrow and shrugged. Michaela's smile fell. Her hands dropped from the mug to lie flat on the table, palms down.

"Look, I really do what to thank you, _properly_."

One of her hands moved a little closer to Ianto's and he realised what she meant. Looking at her face again, Ianto could see fear in her eyes, but also resignation, as if she felt this was what he would expect for a reward. Disgusted, Ianto lashed out and shoved her hand back. He ignored the shiver of his skin at the touch of hers.

"Don't do that. As if I'd take you up on something like that. Just because you were stuck with a bastard doesn't mean I'm one too."

Michaela snatched her hands back like she'd been scalded, dropping them into her lap.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm just really grateful and I wanted to-"

"Yeah, yeah, thank me. I heard you the first time."

"Well what can I do to repay you? There has to be something." Michaela's eyes moved over Ianto's face and body, no doubt taking in his scruffy appearance. "Would… would something like use of my bathroom, so you could clean up be anything-"

"What's that supposed to mean?" growled Ianto, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Michaela drew in a deep breath and seem to steel herself before leaning forward.

"It means you're filthy and I thought you might want to clean up. Have a shave, wash your hair. The geologist look doesn't work for you."

"So you feel sorry for me?"

"No. Why would I feel sorry for you? You've got enough attitude to make anyone who would feel sorry for you squash that in a heartbeat around you."

"Good. I don't want pity."

"Well what do you want? 'Cause if it's to be left alone, you're definitely going about it the right way."

"I don't need anyone."

Michaela snorted, "Bullocks! I'd rather not be around half the human population, you know, the deeper voiced half, but I at least know that I will need someone."

"Yeah that's probably what got you with that guy in the first place."

Michaela swallowed and some of the colour that had been gathering in her cheeks fled. Then she grabbed her jacket and got to her feet,

"You know what? Forget it. I just wanted to show you my gratitude. But if you're just gonna throw it back in my face, then fuck off you twat!"

Ianto watched her walk away, and sighed, hanging his head. A nagging sense of guilt began to form in his chest. The first person to treat him like a normal human and he'd behaved like an arse. But he couldn't afford to be anything else. He just couldn't trust anyone. It would only destroy him when they found out what he was and rejected him.

Lifting his head he saw Michaela had left her purse on the table. Rolling his eyes and sighing, Ianto grabbed it and his own bag and left the café, looking around for her. She was halfway down the street, head bent and her arms wrapped around herself. Ianto called her name as he hurried after her.

Michaela nearly jumped out of her skin as she heard him, but slowed and turned to watch him catch up to her. Automatically, she stepped back to put more distance between them as he reached her.

"What?"

"You left this." Ianto held out the purse. Michaela sighed, wiping her face. Ianto frowned as he realised she was crying. Had he made her cry? Well, he hadn't meant to do that.

"Oh. Thanks." She took it back, managing not to touch him as she did. Ianto realised she might be as repulsed by touch as he was. It was strange to think someone might get his own hatred for touch. "Guess now I owe you twice."

Ianto pursed his lips, reaching up and scratching his cheek. The stubble –ok the beard- felt coarse under his fingertips. He'd not looked in a mirror for quite some time. Not a real mirror. It was as if when he'd reach Glasgow, he'd lost the drive he'd had to prove Ivor wrong. The motivation had pushed him all the way to Glasgow and the disappeared.

When Ianto had left Ivor's house –not home, never home- he'd sworn he would make something of himself. He would be better than Ivor. But all he'd done was make coffee. And now he was sleeping on the street.

Ianto growled at his own pathetic behaviour. Michaela looked up at him with wide eyes. Great, he'd scared her again. Heaving a great sigh, Ianto said,

"Look, I'm sorry I was an arse. You still offering your bathroom?"

"Um, yeah, I guess."

"Then, I'd be very grateful if I could use it. Don't suppose you have a spare razor?"

Michaela gave him a tremulous smile, "I'd say I can accommodate you."

"Right. Well… Good."

"Ok, um, come on, it's this way." Michaela led him down the street. Ianto followed her, careful to keep his distance.

~*~

_(Present)_

Ianto's arm was tight around Michaela's waist as he led her throughthe streets of Cardiff. He was wearing black jeans, his 'Do Me, I'm Welsh' t-shirt under a starch blue shirt with the collar turned up and the top three buttons undone. Michaela was wearing a knee length black skirt, and a red top with black lace, which was quite low cut front and back. She'd bought it just for him; Ianto loved the pale expanse of her back.

Ianto had no idea where they were actually going to end up. They'd been wandering around the city, looking at different clubs. So far, none had caught their eye enough to go in. Ianto knew his city so well that he knew what each club's keywords were. The one they were passing now was 'loud' and 'bad drinks'. The next one was 'teens' and 'bad music'. The next, 'Bondage'.

Ianto hurried Michaela past that one.

"Ianto, my feet are gonna start hurting soon, so we need to make a choice. Plus, I want to get a drink! I'm dying here."

Ianto laughed, "You Irish and your drink. Ok, I know where a good one is nearby."

"Thank God!"

The two of them got into the club quick enough and Michaela all but dragged him to the bar. They both ordered Pimm's drinks and drank them while watching the dancers.

The club had a wide space for dancing, with higher levels for sitting and standing around. There were also a few pole tables for dancers to have some fun on. Currently two of them were occupied.

As Michaela finished her drink, she turned to Ianto and leaned in,

"So what do you wanna do now?"

Ianto grinned like a cheeky boy and put his arms around her waist "Now? I want to dance with you."

"Oh go on then."

Ianto pulled her into the throng and pulled her close, holding her about the waist. Michaela slipped her arms around his neck and pressed against his body as they danced together.

It felt so good to be doing this. The throb of the music rippled through the crowd in waves, making them all rise and fall in time. Ianto was aware of the other people, but he didn't really care. He just wanted to be with Michaela. The familiar feel of her body against his, sense-startling difference a woman's curves under his hands after so long touching a male torso, was all such a comfort, such a world away from Torchwood and the team.

After a few songs, Michaela pushed him away with a huff,

"All right, now my feet hurt. C'mon. I need a seat."

Ianto let her drag him along back to the bar for another drink and he snagged her a seat to perch on. Ianto wiped his brow, feeling the sticky sweat on it. Michaela wrinkled her nose at the move and Ianto grinned,

"Don't like it?" and reached out with his sweaty hand towards her face. Michaela slapped his hand away with a very girly squeal.

"Get away with that!"

Ianto laughed. Michaela rolled her eyes with an indulgent smile.

"'scuse me?"

They both looked over their shoulders to see a blonde guy smiling at Michaela. "I was wondering if you'd like to dance?"

Ianto glanced at Michaela whose eyes had widened to a size bigger than Gwen's ever could.

"Oh… uh, I…" She threw a look at Ianto, begging for help. It was incredible how quick her confidence could vanish. And Ianto, knowing full well he'd regret it later, was feeling selfish.

Putting an arm around Michaela's waist, Ianto gave him a firm look, "She's with me."

The guy's smile turned indulgent, "It's just a dance mate, wasn't about to steal her away from you."

"Yeah, well, she's not interested."

The guy narrowed his eyes, almost in suspicion, at Ianto. Then he looked at Michaela, "I'd rather hear it from you."

"Sorry, no thanks. We're… we're on a date, you know, it's not right to, um, dance with others on a date." Michaela gave him a very brief apologetic smile. Ianto could feel her shaking in his grip. The guy seemed to notice it too, and gave Ianto another look of suspicion.

"Right…" And he walked away. Michaela all but melted in Ianto's arms as soon as he'd vanished. Ianto held her close and kissed her hair. She clung to his shirt for a few minutes, still trembling. Ianto didn't want this moment to ruin the rest of the night, so he cupped Michaela's cheek in his hand and made her look at him. Giving her the most reassuring look he could muster, Ianto said,

"Drink?"

Michaela swallowed hard, smiled and then nodded.

~*~

_(17__th__ November 2002) _

Michaela lived in a small apartment, pretty run down and full of unopened boxes.

"I've just moved here." she said by way of explanation as she opened the door and let Ianto in. "Blaine, well, I was living with him and now that he's locked up… I was able to move out."

Ianto nodded, more interested in locating the bathroom and getting clean. He'd deliberately blocked out his obsessive need to feel clean to keep from going mad as he slept on the streets. If he was honest, it felt like he was decaying, except his body hadn't quite died yet. Now that the opportunity had presented itself, he was itching to wash all the filth off of himself, quite literally really.

"I'm afraid a lot of my shower stuff is a bit… girly. But the shaving cream I've got is scentless. The other stuff is too strong on my skin…" Michaela trailed off as she walked over to a box, and began to rummage through it, muttering to herself.

Ianto noted the small kitchen, which had cracking tiles and looked like the kind of place bacteria had their honeymoon in. The bed was visible through the half open door in the other room. The other door had to lead to the bathroom, unless the apartment was magically bigger on the inside and extended beyond the barriers of the building. He snorted at the idea. If it could be done he'd live in a secret box and never come out again.

"Right, do you mind using a girl's razor? It's got a new head, but… what is the difference between girls' razors and guys' anyway?" Michaela held up the item in question after switching the old head for a new one. It was very pink

"I'd say it's nothing, except maybe yours is designed to look as effeminate as possible."

"And yours isn't meant to be as masculine? Even the name is so male. Gillette Fusion Power Stealth. All you need is a load of guy words strung together to keep you happy."

Ianto couldn't help it. He sniggered. Michaela's eyes brightened as she held out the razor, holding it just under the blades, offering him the handle. Ianto took it, feeling the tension in her arm as she let it go very slowly. He realised she was taking a big chance. Not only had she let him, a seemingly random homeless guy, into her home, alone, but now she'd given him something he could use on her as a weapon. The weight of that trust settled on his shoulders and Ianto felt his heart give a funny thump. He was touched. Fancy that.

"Got a towel?"

"There's one in there. I'll be in my room until you're done."

"Right." Ianto met her eyes and wanted to break this awkward tension. So he said the first thing he could think of. "No peeking now!" He shut his eyes in mortification at his own stupidity.

Michaela's eyes widened, then she smiled a little.

"No fear. You got spare clothes?"

"Yeah, in my bag."

"How clean are they?"

"Clean enough." Ianto gave her a sharp look. Michaela nodded, getting that they'd reached his limit of interference and charity.

"Well, enjoy." Turning away, she went into her bedroom and shut the door. Ianto went into the bathroom.

It was as dingy as the rest of the apartment, but the water was pleasantly warm and Ianto was able to wash his hair with fruity shampoo –for some reason the fruity scent was actually very invigorating-, and scrub away a layer of dirt and skin. He made sure to scratch away all the remains of his encounter with the guy earlier. Any evidence seemed to disappear down that plughole. Ianto then carefully shaved away the damn beard. He gathered the mess left behind and threw it in the toilet, taking a piss and shit while he was at it. Then he got dressed into his cleanest set of clothes. It felt great to feel so clean again. He felt… human.

Walking back out of the bathroom about half an hour later, he knocked on Michaela's bedroom door.

"C'min."

Ianto pushed the door open and hovered at the doorway. Michaela was smoking, perched on the sill of an open window. Her free arm was hugging her knees as she stared out into the night. As Ianto opened the door, she turned her head to look at him and started in surprise.

"Well, see what a difference a shower'll make, eh?"

"Does feel good to be clean again." Ianto admitted, scratching the back of his neck. For some reason he felt exposed with his face clean shaven.

"I'll tell ye, you're a lot younger looking now. I thought you were in yer late twenties with that beard."

"I'm eighteen."

Michaela smiled with sad eyes, "Me too." She turned her head back to face out the window, taking another drag from the cigarette.

Ianto regarded her. She was incredibly vulnerable looking, hugging her knees, huddled in on herself. Yet she'd trusted him enough to let him into her home. It had been a while since anyone had been nice to him. Really nice. And considering she'd said she wanted nothing to do with his gender it was even more remarkable.

"It's pouring rain out there. You may as well stay until it stops. Mind yourself now though, you're not staying all night. No way." So she did have a limit to her trust. Good, it meant she wasn't completely stupid.

"I understand. Thanks."

"Sure."

"What time is it? My watch is broken."

"Almost ten."

"Mind if I smoke?"

"Be a wee bit hypocritical of me if I said no, eh?" She flashed him an amused smirk. Ianto found his own face twitching in amusement.

"I was raised to be polite." he informed her as he pulled out his own cigarette.

"Aye? Where'd that all go a while ago?"

"Helps to scare people off if you're not polite." Ianto let a hint of irony into his tone.

"Ah… nice trick."

"Where're you from anyway? You said Ireland, but… you sound a bit Northern Irish if I've got my accents right."

Michaela chuckled, throwing her stub out the window and lighting another. "Yeah… I'm a right muddle. Been carted all around the island. Picked up bits of different accents as I went."

"You travelled as a kid?"

Michaela looked at him again, this time with suspicion. Ianto sat on the floor, leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room. He stared back, not giving anything away. She let out a stream of smoke and said,

"Yeah. My mum, she kept moving me around. Wicklow, Dublin, Connemara, Cork, Donegal, and finally Belfast in Armagh. When I did my final exams I moved here. Met Blaine… from one nightmare to another I guess."

"Didn't like being dragged around?" Ianto could understand how that felt. He'd really only experienced it once and had hated it. Even if he'd still been in nappies at the time.

"Yeah. Mum kept saying she'd get her act together, get a good job, a 'fresh start' every single time. Got tired of the disappointments after a while. Hence Glasgow."

"Hrm."

"What about you? What's your sad story?"

Ianto looked up sharply, alarmed. Was it clear on his face? Did she see him for what he was?

"What do you mean?"

"You've got the look of a lad with a sad story. No one ends up on the street without a reason."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only to me I'd say." Michaela gave Ianto a rueful smile. "Most people don't look, so they don't see it."

"Yeah…"

"So, come on. I've shown you mine, you show me yours."

Ianto rolled his eyes, taking a deep drag of his cigarette. He waited until the smoke he let out had dissipated before speaking, "I left home when I finished school to get away from my stepdad."

"Ah… was he a fairy tale stepdad?"

"What?"

"You know, no stepparent is ever nice in a fairy tale. Look at Cinderella."

Ianto snorted. "Yeah, he was worse than that."

"Beat ye?"

Ianto glared at the air. "… Yeah."

Michaela sighed, "Guessed as much."

"Left home to prove I was better than him."

"How's that working out for you?" The sarcasm in her voice was not missed. Ianto glared at her.

"Judging me?"

"Me? Why would I? You at least had a reason for being stuck in an abusive relationship. Social services are useless. You were a kid. I'm an adult. I should have been able to get out."

"So why didn't you?" Ianto had often asked himself the same question.

"Dunno."

"Love?"

Michaela snorted, "God no. That was never it."

"Fear?"

The small, self depreciating smile that had formed on her face faded. The two of them stared at each other. It was strange, like they were seeing themselves reflected in the other's eyes. Ianto's cigarette ran out. Michaela's arm tightened around her knees. Ianto wondered if he looked as young as she did right then. Then Michaela sighed turning away.

"Yeah."

* * *

The team will be in the next chapter I promise. Owen-angst is on the way!

Night's Darkness


	18. Chapter 18

Right this is gonna be my last post for a while I think, because I've got to take a break from the computer due to some damage to the neural tissue in my neck from over use of said computer. :-( I've been told to avoid using the computer as much as possible for a few weeks. I'm really sorry guys. But I swear once I'm back there'll be frequent updates of this thing. So much is planned, and I'm gonna write it down by hand, so once I get going, it'll be regular. Once again, really sorry.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 18**

Tosh wandered through the Archives, hoping like hell she could find the right thing quickly. Without Ianto's eidetic memory to guide her, the Archives were a lot more intimidating. But Tosh had promised Jack she'd figure out what this particular item did. It had been found years ago and stuck the miscellaneous area, which had its own section in the archives as it was so large. Jack had decided some of the older items needed re-examining.

A snuffle made her pause. Turning to the side she peered down the corridor.

"Owen?"

Owen jumped and his head snapped up.

"Tosh! I was just, uh…" The doctor wiped at his face to get rid of the tears that were on it, and he shoved something into his pocket, making it bulge.

"Oh Owen." Tosh walked over to him, even as he got to his feet in an awkward scramble of limbs. "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

Owen was too tired to even try to hide behind his sarcasm. "Just… just wanted a break from everything."

"So you came down to Ianto's domain?" Tosh gave him an amused smile. Owen's eyes slid from her face to the ground, looking ashamed.

"Just… thought that here I could…"

"Be closer to him?"

Owen didn't answer her. That was a yes then, Tosh sighed.

"Come on, we're going out to lunch."

"But-"

"No excuses."

Owen stared at her and then nodded, not resisting her hand on his arm as she steered him along. Gwen gave them a questioning glance as Tosh got their coats and called to Jack that they were going out. If Tosh didn't know better, she'd have sworn she'd seen a flash of jealousy in Gwen's eyes directed at Tosh. Tosh ignored it in favour of leading Owen out of the Hub. Jack had said nothing.

They wandered to a chip shop, and then to the nearby park, the vinegar soaking through the paper.

"Sit here?" Owen said, plopping onto a park bench. Tosh didn't comment on the fact that it was the same seat Ianto had sat in earlier that day, where he and Owen had last spoke.

They ate in silence, their eyes scanning the park, watching people live their normal lives. A jogger was making his way along the edge of the pond, mothers with buggies were padding along at a contented pace. Their babies babbled up at them, or snoozed the afternoon away.

After a while, Tosh realised Owen was fixated on two blonde little boys, brothers. They were feeding the ducks. The smaller one was probably about two and the older, maybe six. The older one grabbed his brother's middle as the younger one leaned too far trying to give the duck the piece of bread by hand and almost fell into the pond.

"Don't do that!" yelped the older brother. The younger boy giggled and stretched his hand out as far as he could, using his older brother to hold him up. A drake swam up to him and snapped the bread from his hand. The boy cheered, clapping his hands as his brother pulled him back.

"Ianto did that once. Only I didn't catch him." murmured Owen. "He leaned too far and fell in the water. Caught a cold and he scraped his knee. Mum was so pissed off." Tosh said nothing, afraid to break the spell Owen was in. "I got sent to my room and he got fussed over like a prince. It was always the way with my mum. She favoured Ianto."

Tosh wanted to say she was sure their mum had loved them both dearly. But she wasn't sure that was true, and Owen wouldn't believe it anyway.

"Y'know what happened that night? Ianto got out of his crib and he came over to me. I was annoyed with him. Didn't want to know. But he held out his teddy bear and put it next to me. He was trying to say sorry, even with that stupid little lisp he had. I let him get into my bed with me, and we were both sick the rest of the week with colds."

Tosh smiled.

Owen kept talking, "We've got, we both got these boxes our dad made for us. One's got my name engraved in it and Ianto's had his. We were supposed to keep special things in them. When dad died, I was so angry with Ianto for abandoning him I took out all the things connected to him out of it and threw most of them out. When our mum died, I was horrible to him. I hit him. He was upset, and I just punched him and cut him out of my life. Leaving him at that bastard's mercy. Do you know what he did that night? He buried his box, full of stuff from when we were kids. Even buried Doctor Bear. Left me a letter, apologising for everything. And all I can think now is how long after he gave up on ever being saved, did Ivor… and I can't get it out of my head. The idea of him… touching my little brother… and I could have saved him."

"You didn't know."

"I should have! He tried to tell me, when we were little, after our parents split. He mentioned Ivor had a temper. If I'd just… if I'd just listened, maybe not been so angry with him, with our mum… why didn't she see it? Why didn't she stop it?"

"Owen, how did your mother die?"

"I… I dunno."

"Maybe we should find out."

"I don't care about that! I just… I just wish I'd listened to you and Gwen. I didn't want Ianto to disappear, to get hurt again. Instead all that did was make everything worse." Owen's face crumpled and he wiped at it furiously. "I wanna fix things. But I dunno how Tosh. I really dunno how."

Tosh reached out and rested her hand on Owen's knee. "Owen, you need to remember that Ianto is more than a victim. He's more than that. And he's not a child. If you remember those, when you next see him, that might be a start. He's got more to him than that. Yes, he's been through a lot. But it hasn't beat him, has it? Look at how far he's come."

Owen nodded, "Y'know, when he first arrived at the Hub I didn't recognise him. He knew me and just said nothing. It was like, like there was an unspoken rule that we'd never acknowledge what we'd once been. And I liked it that way. But now… I couldn't go back to that even if I wanted."

"Maybe you're growing up."

Owen looked at her and gave a crooked smile, "Yeah, maybe. Scary thought."

"Very scary."

They sat in a comfy silence, then Owen said, with a small smile, "You wanna know what's in my pocket don't you?"

"Very much so." Tosh grinned.

Owen sighed and pulled out an old frayed bear, dressed like a doctor.

"This is Doctor Bear. Doctor Bear, this is Tosh." Owen wiggled an arm at Tosh, who giggled, taking a paw and shaking it.

"Nice to meet you Doctor Bear."

"He's as old as me you know."

"Really?"

"Mum gave him to me when I was born."

"And you gave him to Ianto?"

"Yeah. And then he sorta gave him back."

"What would happen if you gave it back to him?"

Owen pursed his lips. "I dunno."

"Might be a way to start making things better."

"Might do. But not now. It's way too soon."

"Probably."

"Tosh… would you check in on him, like tomorrow or something. I just wanna make sure he's doing ok."

Tosh thought about it for a few minutes, deliberately not looking at Owen's face. She wouldn't be able to resist his eyes if she did. Then she said,

"Ok, but I'll just make sure he's ok, and then I'll go. I'm not staying to find out who his friend is or anything like that."

"Fair enough. Thanks. You're, eh, you're a good friend."

Tosh smiled, squeezing his hand, "You big idiot."

~*~

Gwen went straight for Tosh as soon as she was back.

"How was he?" She didn't need to point to Owen.

"Ok for now. How about Jack?"

"I think he may be trying to get through ten years worth of paperwork to keep himself occupied. He hasn't even tried to check on Ianto with the CCTV."

"Good. I think they all need a break from each other."

"Yeah…" Gwen narrowed her eyes at Tosh in frustration.

"Something wrong?"

"It's just… why the hell did Jack hire me to be the heart and people person of this bloody team? You're the one doing all the work at the moment."

"Because I love those three despite how stupid they are. You on the other hand will help anyone. Therein lies our difference."

"I just feel so bloody useless. Jack doesn't want to talk, you've got Owen covered and as for Ianto…" Gwen couldn't even find the words.

Tosh regarded her with a narrowed-eyed expression and decided not to beat about the bush. "Did you know Ianto had rabbits before we brought Señor in?"

"No. I wouldn't have even guessed. In fact, I would have considered him a cat person myself."

"He hates cats."

"Oh?"

"They give him the creeps apparently. According to him, they stare at him funny. To quote Ianto 'There's evil in their eyes under all that arrogance."

Gwen giggled. Tosh smiled.

"It's weird. After the whole thing with Lisa, I made a point of keeping an eye on him, but I never knew what to say to him. He's a completely closed book. Then me and Owen happened…" Gwen grimaced at Tosh in an apologetic way. Tosh shrugged it off. It was over with now. Gwen was marrying Rhys. Best to deal with the present. "And Ianto took up with Jack, so… I guess I didn't really wonder about him too much."

"I think Ianto preferred it that way. Helped him hide his darker parts."

"I guess no one wants people to see the bad parts of themselves."

"I know I don't."

"He's… he's a pretty strong bloke though."

"They all are really. They've all been through a lot."

"Yeah." Gwen wondered just how much Jack had been through in his long life. Owen, she knew more about now, but she got the feeling he kept a particular secret close to his chest. Some great loss, that was what her instincts told her. Tosh probably knew. Jack was still very much an enigma. Ianto, Gwen knew more about his past now. But she didn't think she knew the young man. So many times he'd surprised, but then she'd realised it was just Ianto. But what did that mean in the long run? "Say Tosh… I don't suppose you feel like taking a break from silly men and having a girly night with me?"

"Oh… um…"

"We could rent a movie and down an unhealthy amount of ice cream."

"… Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Therapy?"

"Of course."

"Then I'd love to. So long as I get to choose the movie."

"Deal. As long as it's not a sad, depressing thing."

"So no Schindler's List then?"

Gwen smiled properly for the first time in ages.

~*~

Cardiff got very quiet at night. It was one of the things Jack loved most about it. Sitting on the edge of a building, Jack surveyed his city. Somewhere out there his team was occupying itself doing God knows what. Gwen and Tosh had looked quite friendly as they left, maybe they were doing something together. And wasn't that just a beautiful –if _very_ unlikely- image in his head. Maybe Owen was at home watching TV, or maybe reading a good book. Jack snorted at the thought. Owen was probably making his liver weep by chugging something strong. Maybe Ianto was hiding in his house. Maybe he was out there somewhere, letting himself be hurt. Then again, maybe he was processing everything and getting himself together. He'd done it so many times before on his own. Jack should have respected Ianto's ability to take care of himself and his ability to work through anything. Ianto had repaired himself after Lisa, in a way that Jack had almost envied. Jack should have done a lot of things differently.

Jack grimaced as he recalled the feel of Ianto holding him down. Using him to abuse himself. The horror in Ianto's eyes as Jack had tried to make it gentle.

Jack couldn't help but wonder what would happen to their relationship when –not if, when- things got better. Would Ianto end the sexual element of it? Would they just be platonic, no sex friends? Would their friendship end? Of all the things that could happen to their relationship, Jack didn't want to loose Ianto's friendship. It had come to mean a lot to him. Jack loved Ianto. Loved him as he loved each of his team, and loved him as differently as he loved each of them. And he'd been so sure Ianto understood that. In fact, he was still pretty sure Ianto got that. It was one of the reasons they'd enjoyed sleeping together. That is… if Ianto had enjoyed sleeping with him and hadn't just been… no! No, he wouldn't go down that road of thought. Not until he talked to Ianto. He'd only wind himself up and risk running his mouth, which was the last thing anyone needed.

Jack almost wished he could fast forward to the time when things were better. But he couldn't do that. It would be cheating. No one in the team, having gone through this much already, deserved for him to cheat.

Sometimes Cardiff's quiet nights weren't so great. They gave him too much time to think.

* * *

Right then… that's all for now. I'll be back as soon as I'm better, I promise, and I hope this will help tide you over. There's loads to come.

Bye!

Night's Darkness


	19. Chapter 19

Hi guys! I'm back, but not completely, as I'm slowly recovering, and can't spend too much time on the computer yet, but I'm much better now. This was already written and it's been edited since my last post, so I figured I'd post it, because I felt bad for leaving you hanging. The next chapter won't be for a while probably, but I've got two weeks of holidays from collage coming up very soon, so hopefully something will be posted around then.

Thank you so much for all your supportive comments! Hope this chapter was worth the wait.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 19**

Ianto groaned as he woke up, with a dry mouth and a mild headache. Stretching, he opened his eyes and looked around his room. He could tell his disrobing hadn't been particularly graceful last night considering the clothes were in a heap and spread across the floor. Plus he could remember struggling with his trousers because he'd still had his shoes on.

Climbing out of the bed, Ianto pulled on fresh underwear and tracksuit bottoms and wandered out of his bedroom to the spare room. Opening the door he smiled as he found Michaela stretched out on the bed, still fast asleep. Her mouth was open a little, one arm hugging her pillow, the other dangling over the edge of the bed. She looked very comfy. The morning sun was shining through the cream curtain material and making the whole room glow with a warm, soft light. Not wanting to disturb the scene, Ianto retreated and went down to the kitchen. He got water and neurofen, downing both.

As he was making a fresh pot of coffee, Michaela wandered down in just a large green t-shirt with a panda on it that didn't quite reach halfway down her thighs. Ianto's eyes skimmed down her bare legs and then jumped back to her face. Her eyes did the same to his bare chest and then to his face. They grinned at each other. They were only human after all.

"Morning."

"Good morning. Coffee?"

"Cheers." Michaela took the offered mug and added sugar and milk. She didn't like it industrial strength. Ianto couldn't cure her of this problem. "Mmm. That's a good cup of coffee!"

"I try my best." Ianto had used his best beans.

"Jamaican Blue?"

"Nope. Secret."

"Coffee snob."

"Starbucks lover."

"They never burn the coffee. And I don't have you around to provide the good stuff all the time."

They drank the rest of the coffee in a companionable silence, leaning against the counter side by side, shoulders and thighs touching. As Michaela put her cup in the dishwasher, Ianto said

"What do you wanna do today?"

"I dunno. I have to go for my morning jog before I can actually plan anything feasible. My brain doesn't wake up until I get all sweaty."

"Ah, want me to go with you?"

Michaela straightened up and looked at him for a moment, then she grabbed a notebook and pen that were on the counter by the hands free phone and scribbled a note, handing it to him.

"'_No offense, but I get that I'm going to be spending a lot of time with you over the next few days, so I'd rather do this alone.'_" Ianto read aloud. He chuckled, setting down the page. "I wouldn't have been offended by that. I like my space as much as anyone else."

"Well, just taking a precaution." Michaela winked. Ianto shook his head, smiling.

"We practically don't need that old trick. There's very little you could say I'd get upset over."

"Well, it's always been useful before." Michaela pushed away from the counter. "Right, I'm gonna get dressed. Why don't you… read a book for fun?"

"Fun, what is this fun you speak of?"

"Oh very funny. And what'd you call what you were having last night?"

"Ah, yes. Well, I might just do as you suggest. I haven't had much time to read in ages. Might be nice." Ianto mulled over the suggestion as he followed Michaela to the bottom of the stairs. He grinned as, when he watched her scurry up the stairs, she pulled her t-shirt down as she went. "You tease!"

"You peeping Tom!"

Ianto was looking through his books in the sitting room, wondering which to read, when his doorbell rang. Having a sneaking suspicion he knew who it was, he didn't bother grabbing a shirt and answered the door.

Tosh's eyes widened as she took in a shirtless Ianto standing in the doorway.

"Morning Tosh."

"M-Morning Ianto."

Ianto gave her his best pleasant butler expression "What can I do for you?"

"I… you, um…" Tosh shook herself free of her surprise. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Plus, Owen was worrying about you. Asked me to check in on you."

Ianto gave her a suspicious look, then said, "Well, I'm fine. Well… ok, I'm dealing with it."

"That's good."

At that moment, Michaela bounced down the stairs in her tracksuit, landing next to Ianto.

"Right, well, I'm off… oh, hi!"

"Um, Hello." Tosh was again surprised.

"Tosh this is Michaela, Michaela this is Tosh."

"Nice to meet you Tosh." Michaela smiled, giving a quick wave to the woman not two feet away from her.

"And you."

"Ianto's told me nothing but good things about you."

Tosh's eyes were moving from Michaela to Ianto, clearly trying to figure out the relationship, "Well, I…"

"Oh! Before I forget, do you want me to strip the spare bed, or would you rather I just leave it until I'm gone?" Michaela pointed her finger at Ianto as she spoke. Ianto rolled his eyes.

"Ok, I'm anal, but not that anal, just leave it."

"Ah grand, 'cause I dunno what your habits are like anymore. Just wanted to be sure you hadn't gone to the dark side of anal Monica-esque neatness."

"I'm not there yet." It was impossible for him not to smile at Michaela.

"Good. Well, it was nice to meet you Tosh. I'm off." Michaela brushed past them and started jogging up the street. Her ponytail swayed and bounced almost hypnotically as she went. Tosh watched her go and Ianto mentally thanked his old friend for dropping the bedroom situation in quite seamlessly for someone who didn't know her.

"Old friend?" Tosh smiled at Ianto, but her eyes were desperately curious.

"Yep. Very old friend."

"Interesting accent."

"Yeah, she gets that a lot."

"And you're, you're doing ok?"

"I'm doing fine."

"That's good."

"Anything else?"

"No. Just making sure you're ok."

"Thanks, but I'll be fine." How many times would he have to say it?

"Ok then…" Tosh gave him a last curious stare and then went to her car and drove off. Ianto closed the door. Michaela waited twenty minutes before heading straight for the Hub with a determined expression on her face.

~*~

_(20__th__ November 2002)_

It was a nicer day than had been for ages. There was no rain, it was cold, but clear, and Ianto actually managed to smile about the weather for the first time in weeks. Then again, maybe things just seemed brighter now that he'd managed to secure a job and a place to stay in a hostel. He'd been able to get rid of most of the money he'd nicked and it was like a burden had been lifted.

Ianto paused as he lit a cigarette, and the thought occurred to him that maybe it should bother him that the only human contact he'd really had had been with a random guy from whom he'd also stolen. Then he shrugged it off. He'd done what he'd needed to do to survive. And it was better than dealing drugs. At least his actions didn't ruin anyone's lives. He wouldn't be like Ivor and hurt anyone else.

Strolling down the street, Ianto paused when he caught a flash of red hair. Looking back, he saw it was an older woman. Not Michaela then. Not that Ianto was looking for her. But if he saw her, he wouldn't avoid her like he did most people. After all, she'd been nice to him. And she seemed to get him. He'd kinda liked that. Still, it was probably a once off thing and he'd never see her again.

Then again… maybe he ought to get her something to thank her. If she hadn't given him the use of her bathroom, he'd never have been able to get a job and if she hadn't let him stay until the rain had stopped, he'd probably be sick as a dog right now.

Stopping in the middle of the street, Ianto frowned at the ground. Since when did he start wondering about doing nice things for people? He hadn't in years. Not since his mam had died. Shaking his head, Ianto walked on, refusing to think about it again.

~*~

"What're you doing?"

Ianto mentally swore and turned around to see Michaela staring at him with wary eyes. Feeling incredibly stupid, he held up the item in his hand.

"Wantedtogiveyouthis." he mumbled.

"What?"

"I… I wanted to give you this." he said, all but shoving the thing at her. Michaela almost dropped it, but managed to get a grip on it. She held it like a ticking bomb.

"What is it?"

"Just… something. For you." Did she really need him to spell it out for her? Ianto hoped to hell she didn't. It had been hard enough to come back to her apartment with the stupid thing.

Michaela opened the shopping bag and pulled out a blue hot water bottle. When she frowned at it in confusion, Ianto said,

"You said your heating wasn't working. I thought this would help."

Michaela held the hot water bottle in her hands, looking bewildered. Then a smile spread slowly across her face. It seemed to soften her face.

"Thanks. I needed one of these. That's really nice of you."

"Well… you did something for me. Just didn't want to owe you anything."

"I was doing something for you because you did something for me though. Now I'll have to do something for you." Michaela quirked her eyebrow at him. That statement could been full of suspicion. Ianto was quick to answer her.

"No, you don't. You letting me use your bathroom was great. I was able to get a job the next morning."

"Oh? Where?"

"Just in a café. But, it's something."

"Yeah, it is. That's great." Michaela put the hot water bottle back into the bag and lifted her handbag strap higher onto her shoulder. "When do you start?"

"I started yesterday actually."

"Very good."

They fell into an awkward silence, Ianto well aware he was blocking her way to her door, Michaela shifting from foot to foot, looking a little anxious. Ianto wondered if she though he was trying to come on to her. It probably wasn't far off her mind. Coughing, he stepped forward and Michaela took a step to the side to get out of his way. Ianto was very aware of how narrow the corridor was. When he walked by her, he would end up brushing against her, no matter what. He wasn't sure how she'd react to that. Since she'd found him that night, they'd only ever touched once, and that had been him pushing her hand away from him. The rest of the time, they'd not touched. Normally Ianto wouldn't mind this, but he was very aware of it with Michaela. Maybe because she was as active in her avoidance as he was.

"I should go."

"Yeah. I mean, if you don't want to, you could always stay and have a cup of tea." Was there a hopeful note in her voice?

"I don't think I should."

"Ok, whatever you want."

"Do… do you want me to stay?"

"I don't mind what you do. It's up to you." Michaela was watching him carefully. Ianto nibbled on his lip and decided if he didn't leave now, he mightn't be able to. Taking in a deep breath, he shuffled past her. His arm brushed her side and she stiffened, pressing against the wall. Ianto swallowed, feeling disappointed for some reason. As he rested his hand on the banister, Michaela called out to him,

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

Ianto paused.

"Sucks how they manage to make everything scary. Even something as simple as touch."

Ianto looked over his shoulder at her. Grim lines wrinkled her brow, as she stared at him with narrowed green eyes. Ianto stepped backwards, turning on his heel to face her.

"Yeah, it does."

"Your step-dad. Did he ever… y'know, like what Blaine did to me?"

"Yeah. Once." It was strange how Ianto didn't need to ask what she meant. Michaela stared at him, studying him. Her shoulder was pressed into the wall, and her arms were folded across her chest. If it weren't for the tightness in her limbs, she would have looked very casual. Her eyes though, were anything but casual. They seemed to bore into him, see into him. Ianto stared back, wondering what the hell she was looking for.

Whatever it was, Michaela seemed to find it, because she relaxed a tiny fraction and said,

"It's how it started for me."

Straightening up, Michaela turned away and opened her door. She walked in and turned around to face Ianto again, leaning against the door. She waited. Ianto could hear his heartbeat in his ears, pounding away. If he went inside, he'd never be able to take back things he would say.

He didn't have to go in.

He shouldn't go in.

But he wanted to.

God, was he really that pathetically lonely? He'd never considered himself so before.

So what the hell was he doing here? A hot water bottle gift? Idiot! He had to get out of there right now, or… he didn't know what.

How come she was able to take the chance on him? Why was she so willing to trust him?

Words, thoughts, images bubbled up in his mind and tried to tumble out of his mouth. He wanted to talk. God how he wanted to talk! He wanted to tell someone, anyone, what he'd experienced. What had happened to him.

But he couldn't.

Turning around, Ianto ran down the stairs, and kept running until he was crouched in the corner of an alley, clutching his head and rocking back and forth to try to control himself. He would not cry, he would not cry, he would not cry…

~*~

The door's paint was peeling, the floor was sticky, the ceiling mildewed and Ianto had no idea what he was doing back here not five hours after he'd run off like a coward.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door three times.

It seemed to be an age before the door was opened a small fraction. Michaela stared at him with suspicion.

"What're you doing back here?"

"I wanna come in!" Ianto blurted, wide eyed and terrified. Of what, he couldn't really figure out. He didn't even know what he was going to do when he got inside. If he got inside. He'd just known he couldn't not come back. He'd known it would eat at him if he didn't.

"Why?"

"Please, let me in. I don't know what's going on here, and I don't know why I ran off… please."

There was doubt in Michaela's face. "I've no reason to trust you, have I? Not really. I mean… you saved me, but I don't know who you are."

"I won't touch you. I swear. I just… I just want to talk."

Michaela's eyes were dark with suspicion. "You ran off pretty fast earlier."

Ianto knew he'd disappointed her, and he felt bad about it. God, what was he doing?

"I don't know why. Please let me in."

Michaela looked him up and down and then nodded. "Ok… but if you even look at me funny…"

"I understand." Ianto managed a small smile at her and Michaela opened the door fully. Ianto came in and looked around. He noticed the lack of boxes.

"You've unpacked."

"Yeah. Had to do it eventually."

"Looks… good."

A loud snort was the only reply. Ianto followed Michaela wandered into her bedroom and left the door open. For him, he realised and quickly followed, closing the door. Like the last time, Michaela took a seat on the sill, window open, cigarette in her hand. The difference this time was she was hugging the blue hot water bottle to her tummy, wrapped in a towel. Ianto leaned against the wall and slid down it, sitting on the ground.

The silence between them was expectant, both waiting for the other to speak. At last the silence got to Ianto.

"I was fourteen."

"Hmm?"

"I was fourteen when he… when he did… _that_." Ianto's hand made a sharp movement in the air, his face contorting as he remembered it. "He was really drunk. Really angry too. I'd gotten in trouble in school, he'd had to come down and get me. My Mam was dead. He was mad and he said a beating wasn't enough. And he did it. I was surprised. He never –he never showed any inclination that way. But, once or twice, his hands would go… there. But not like that, y'know?"

Michaela said nothing, only watched him. Ianto wondered what he was doing, bearing his soul to this girl. This would only end badly.

"Couldn't move after it. Hurt so fucking much!" Ianto's throat closed, he could barely get the words out. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out his own packet of cigarettes and lit one. The nicotine was soothing. Ianto looked at Michaela, who swallowed and looked at the ground as she spoke.

"Came to Glasgow for a job. Things were fine for the first three weeks. Did my job, made a few friends outside it –there's only my boss at work and I don't see him often either- went out for drinks one night. Met Blaine. Didn't realise it at the time, but he must have spiked my drink. Woke up the next morning in his bed. He woke up as I tried to get up and held me down, being all smarmy and charming, saying he really enjoyed the night and all sorts of bull like that. I was so freaked out. I'd never… he was my first. I didn't know what to do. It was like my brain had shut down, I couldn't form a sentence and that had nothing to do with my hangover. I wanted to leave and I couldn't, I just lay there under him as he had sex with me again. I wanted to believe he was nice, he'd seemed nice the night before. How pathetic is that?"

With surprising viciousness she threw the cigarette stub out the window.

"I don't get how he held such power over me." murmured Ianto, scratching at his jaw. "I knew it was wrong. I hated what he did. Still… I could never run off. He'd have found me. Where would I have gone anyway? Who'd take in a fourteen year old? Didn't want to go into care. Didn't trust it."

"No other family?"

"Older brother. But he hates my guts. Punched me in the face the day of our mam's funeral. Haven't spoken to him since."

"Ah…" Michaela lit another cigarette, the smoke swirling around her head like a grey cloud of misery. Ianto rolled his eyes at his own dramatic imagery.

"So where'd you work?"

"Hm?"

"You said it was just you and your boss. What is it?"

"It's this branch of an organisation. I got hired because it was the only way to get what I wanted."

"What was that?"

"Information on a relative. He went missing around 1922. I wanted to find out what happened to him."

"How come?"

"My grandparents said he was a member of the same organisation, but in the Irish branch, y'know, when we were part of the UK. It's big into the whole, 'for Queen and Country' crap you guys have. He was considered a bit of a black sheep for joining."

"So you're nationalist?"

"Catholic-Nationalist descent. Anyway, he was seen as a traitor, and then one day he disappeared in 1922. My granddad always said it was weird how he just vanished without a trace, and so did the others in the organisation. He said the English government probably had them all shot or something. But I wanted to find out, so I got in contact with the Glasgow one –wasn't easy let me tell you. Asked if I could find out. The boss said only employees could access info, and it was all tied up in confidentiality. So I asked if I could get a job. He told me I'd be an employee for life. I said ok."

"Just like that?"

"Well, from what I could find out about it, seemed like a grand place to work. Besides, didn't really have any other job offers at the time."

"What's it called?"

"Torchwood."

Ianto laughed. Michaela grinned, "It is a bit poncy, I'll admit."

"Oh no question, but I was laughing 'cause when I lived in Cardiff for two months, they were always causing trouble. Seemed like more trouble than they were worth to me."

~*~

_(Present)_

Tosh was ambushed as soon as she arrived by Owen, who ran up to her, Gwen following.

"How is he?"

"He seems… ok. He said he's coping at least. His friend seems… nice."

"What, she was there at this time of the day?" Gwen narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"She said she'd been sleeping in the guest room, and then went for a run. She seemed friendly enough, and she knew who I was. Ianto's spoken of me to her."

"So… what do you think she and Ianto are to each other? If he's letting her stay overnight, he must trust her, and be close to her. But if she slept in the guest room…"

"Honestly, I couldn't say."

"Get her name?"

"Michaela. Funny accent, like a muddle of Irish, Welsh, Scottish and maybe Northern Irish, I'm not sure."

"Ok… and you're sure he was ok?"

"He was when she appeared by his side. I swear it's been ages since I saw his face light up like that."

"Well… I guess we did promise to leave him to it. I just hope he's not running into something he shouldn't." Gwen looked aggravated and worried. Owen was scowling.

"What if she lied that she was in the other room?"

"Why would she? All she did was ask if Ianto wanted her to change the sheets every night or not."

"I dunno…"

Tosh sighed, changing the subject. "Where's Jack?"

"In his office, still working. I don't think he'd slept. I'm actually hoping for a Weevil to run loose to get him out of the Hub."

"Well, maybe we could-"

The cog wheel blared its alarm as it rolled open. Automatically the team knew it wasn't Ianto and there was no one else it could be. They grabbed their guns, and Gwen called for Jack.

Tosh had her gun trained on the intruder before she realised who it was.

"Michaela?"

Michaela, still in her running gear gave Tosh a bland look and then scanned Gwen and Owen, her eyes darkening as she saw Owen. Jack emerged from his office with his gun drawn, but in a second his mouth split into a smile of surprised delight.

"Michaela!"

"Jack." Michaela's expression shared none of Jack's enthusiasm. Jack lowered his gun, a cheerful, flirtatious smile on his face. It was the expression he got upon receiving an unexpected delight.

"Well, well, well, Michaela Murphy. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"It's more business than pleasure I'm afraid. However…" Michaela sauntered up the stairs to stand in front of Jack, her hands in her pockets. Jack's grin widened and he leaned forward, almost as if he was about to kiss her or share a secret with her. "This is purely personal."

The smack she delivered to Jack's face rang through the Hub. Tosh lifted her gun at once, hearing Gwen and Owen do the same. Jack was stunned as he pressed his fingers to his cheek. Looking down at Michaela his attention became sharply focused.

"And I thought you weren't into that." he said, his cheerful smile gone.

"It's got nothing to do with that! It's all to do with you locking Ianto up in your facility. And since I'm about to launch a thorough investigation into your conduct as leader of Torchwood Three, which, should you fail it will result in you being removed from your post, you may want to do your level best not to make me inclined to not be impartial. Understand?"

"… not really." Jack's eyes were huge as he clearly tried to wrap his head around what Michaela had just said. Tosh was struggling too.

Rolling her eyes, Michaela said in a deliberate tone, "I'm here to see if you've been abusing your power as leader of Torchwood Three. If I find out you have, you'll be handed over to UNIT to be incarcerated."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "And under whose authority are you acting exactly?"

"The Leader of Torchwood Two, Archibald McGregor, who is acting under the Code 342."

"A tip off? Who the hell told him that-" Jack's eyes lit up with understanding, "Ianto."

"Ianto contacted Torchwood Two to request assistance in leaving the Hub in which you were holding him against his will. It was Archie's decision to investigate your leadership in addition to releasing him. Although it's evident Ianto needed no help. As Archie put it, the last thing we need is another Yvonne Hartman."

Jack's face contorted into an expression of fury. Tosh would later admit she was impressed Michaela hadn't backed down from his glare. Many a person had.

"I'm nothing like Yvonne Hartman!" snarled Jack.

"Then you'll have nothing to worry about." Michaela's tone was mocking. She took an envelope from her pocket. "This is the official document, and UNIT has been informed. It requests that you have all mission reports dating from the time you took control, to the present available to me. I'll review them, and then make a judgement on whether or not you can be trusted with looking after the Rift."

With a growl, Jack snatched the envelope from her hand. As he tore it open, he said,

"And how do you know Ianto?"

Michaela was quiet for a moment. Then she said in a soft tone, "Did you never wonder how Ianto got the job with Torchwood in the first place?"

Jack's eyes snapped up to meet hers. Michaela let out a sigh. "I'll be here tomorrow at 9. Have everything ready. Prep your team, I'll need to interview them too. As for Ianto… well, we'll have to see."

"I thought you were on my side." murmured Jack, almost inaudible, even in the strained silence. Michaela looked to the side and then back,

"I was. But I'm on Ianto's side first and foremost in my personal life."

"That'll guarantee impartiality won't it." Jack's voice dripped with venom.

"No more than yours. I'm going to do my damn best to be professional, a concept you don't seem to have ever grasped."

The two of them stared at each other for quite a while, Tosh letting her arm slowly drop, realising that a gun would not help here. Jack looked angry, almost hurt, and Michaela was defensive. After an age of silence seemed to pass, Michaela turned around and said,

"You brought this on yourself Jack. It's been coming a long time." And she walked back out of the Hub, leaving a stunned team in her wake. Owen broke the silence.

"What the fuck just happened?"

Jack sighed, unfolding the envelopes contents. "You could say I've just been served."

* * *

I'm curious, did anyone see that coming? Be honest. And what do you think –or hope- might happen next? Let me know!

Night's Darkness


	20. Chapter 20

Ok, I'm tentatively say I'm officially back, and will be writing more very soon. I'm really glad you enjoyed the twist at the end of the last chapter, and I promise that the flashbacks will start to diminish, but they're important at the moment. The team will be back next chapter and I promise I haven't forgotten Owen/Ianto's relationship or Jack/Ianto's. But Ianto's being stubborn and refuses to talk to anyone except Michaela, so it's hard to work on it atm.

* * *

**Chapter 20**

_(13__th__ June 2005)_

Being the head of Torchwood Three should have given him the ability not to bother coming to this five year review decided Jack. This review forced him to go into minute detail about the running of the whole institute that took seven days of mind-numbing discussions and boredom.

At least he could drag Suzie kicking and screaming with him. He would have brought Tosh, but she was helping the newest member of the team. Owen was still very sore from his fiancé's death and Tosh seemed to get along with him best, despite his abrasive attitude. Still, he was only a few months in.

In the most secure room, of one of the best hotels in central London, the three heads of the three Torchwood branches were discussing everything small and big about the organisation. Or rather, Yvonne Hartman was dominating the meeting by gloating about her branch and sneering at Cardiff and Glasgow. Yvonne was so perfectly turned out she looked almost robotic. Beside her was with her secretary, or whatever the young man was called. He was in a bland suit, with blonde hair and was completely boring to Jack, even with those pouty red lips, because he hadn't stopped writing everything Yvonne said. He was clearly a lackey. For that reason alone, Jack was tempted to mess with him, but he decided he wanted to avoid any interaction with Yvonne and Yvonne contaminated people if possible. He glanced at the other three people at the table.

Suzie had a glazed expression on her face already –they were only an hour in. She'd cause Yvonne trouble for Jack. He'd leave her to it. When bored Suzie was quite a mischief maker. She'd already freaked Owen out more than once.

The only other two occupants were from the Glasgow Branch, Torchwood Two. It was also known as Torchwood House, where Torchwood had originally been founded. It had another name among Torchwood members, 'The Fake Torchwood Branch.' due to the fact that it didn't have an active Rift and was more kept for historical purposes. What most Torchwood employees didn't know was that Torchwood Two had the most extensive archives of the three –once four, but Torchwood Dublin had vanished years ago- and contained all the secrets of the organisation. Not even Yvonne, who had a nose for secrets and power, knew everything in those archives. Hell, Jack didn't even know and he'd been working with Torchwood almost since the beginning. The only one who knew everything about the archives was the man opposite him.

Archibald McGregor was a big, burly, beer-bellied, boisterous man in his late 50's, with slightly askew dark brown hair, sharp blue eyes and a loud voice. Jack loved him. Not least because he was an unapologetically nationalist Scotsman and that drove Yvonne crazy. She believed that only those loyal to 'Queen and country' should work for Torchwood. Right now, Archie looked incredibly sulky, as if he'd been made to come. Knowing that he was much happier to do his own thing, it was very likely. Just what Archie's thing was, Jack had never been sure.

Next to Archie was the only other Torchwood Two employee. A woman, probably the youngest of all the people there, she'd not said a word, not even with introductions. She'd just given a tight smile and got to work. Green eyes, red hair caught up in an elegant twist, milky skin, she was plainly a Scottish native. The firm refusal to even look up from her notes intrigued Jack, and he'd admired her long legs in the black pencil skirt with heels when she'd walked in with Archie. There was a serious expression on her face, with a small knot between her eyebrows and she seemed to be doing all the work between her and Archie, who was just sitting and listening, if even that.

Well, Jack had been looking for a distraction for the week, and he was pretty sure he'd just found a target. While she hadn't managed to pull off the sexy secretary look, even with a nice white blouse he was sure she'd look lovely with that skirt all bunched up at her hips. He glanced down at his list of names, not that he'd really needed it. Under Archie's name, was the name Michaela Murphy.

For the rest of the opening meeting, Jack kept his eyes on her, willing her to look up so he could flash her a smile and see how she reacted. But Michaela kept her eyes on her notebook, and didn't look up once. She actually seemed to be going out of her way to avoid looking up at him. Well, Jack loved a challenge. He took advantage of her inattention to note what was attractive about her face and ponder the type of underwear she was wearing under that professional outfit.

After about two hours of Yvonne prattling on about whatever the goal of Torchwood was meant to be, a lunch break was called, as they'd started late enough in the morning that day. Jack and Suzie grabbed their buffet choices and went to sit with Archie when he waved them over. Michaela was beside him and Jack saw her duck her head and become fixated on her food, but not eating it as they approached.

"So, is it just me, or is Yvonne getting more annoying the older she gets?" asked Jack sitting down.

"Aye, that ain't age, that's just too much time enjoying too much power. It's not only givin' 'er a fat arse, but a fat head 'ta match."

Suzie snorted, tucking some of her thin curls behind her ear, "Well put."

Jack smiled into his glass, then lifted his eyes to look at Michaela. She shifted, then finally looked up, meeting his gaze. Hers were big and wary. Jack flashed her a grin. Michaela's cheeks flushed, but she looked unimpressed.

"Jack, ye haven't met Michaela before, have ye?"

"No, I have not had that pleasure." Jack held his hand out over the table. "Cap'n Jack Harkness."

"Michaela Murphy." She didn't take his hand. In fact her whole body was drawn into herself. Jack dropped his hand, catching Suzie's smirk out of the corner of his eye. She was so getting Weevil duty.

Archie looked between them and rolled his eyes. "How've you been Jack?"

"Can't complain, Suzie's beside me. When she goes I'll tell you."

Archie laughed. Suzie rolled her eyes. Michaela just picked at her food. Her cheeks were still pink. Jack smiled to himself. This could be fun.

~*~

_(Present) _

Ianto looked up as he heard the door open and then close. Michaela walked into the sitting room, smiling at him as she pulled her hair out of it's ponytail. Ianto set down his book on his lap.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"How'd it go in the Hub?"

Michaela stiffened for the briefest of seconds, then relaxed again. "Y'know, that's just scary. You officially know me too well."

"You know me better than anyone, so fair's fair."

"Yeah, I guess."

"So how did it go?"

Michaela sighed, flopping down onto the couch beside him. "Not very well. Jack's not happy."

"I'd imagine not."

"C'mon Ianto. We both knew this was going to happen eventually."

"Even so, did you need to use me as the clincher?" Ianto wasn't mad, he wasn't the least bit surprised actually, but he still had to ask.

Michaela sighed again, ruffling her hair to get some of the volume back. Some of the shorter strands stuck up. "It was Archie's call. And he didn't want to give Jack another chance to screw up again. It's happened too often as it is. Plus… Archie's tired of covering for him with UNIT."

"You mean he's tired of you covering for him."

"I do it because Archie lets me. I'm not letting my personal feelings interfere. Not much anyway."

"It wasn't an accusation."

"Fair enough."

"I'm just saying… it's going to be tough for everyone, you included. The team hates when outsiders interfere and even though you're part of Torchwood-"

"I'm not part of your Torchwood."

Ianto shook his head. Michaela nibbled on her lower lip, then looked up at him, anxious-eyed "Do you think he'll cooperate?"

"I hope so. He shouldn't make things hard for you, if he does he's not being fair."

"Well… I'm gonna have to see amn't I?"

"Yeah."

"You still haven't told me what exactly is going on here."

"…It's hard."

"That's why I'm here isn't it? I'm here to help you through hard times."

"Not just hard times." Ianto reached out and linked his fingers with hers. "I like having you around all the time."

Michaela gave him a half smile, "Don't you be thinking that kinda saccharine talk, however honest, is getting you out of telling me what happened. I only know Jack locked you up. I don't know why. So start talking."

Ianto dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling. He couldn't look at her as he admitted,

"Jack and Owen caught me using a guy for pain."

The only reaction on Michaela's face was a slight widening of her eyes. "Ah."

"Ye-ah…"

"Okay… is that the beginning?"

"Of the whole thing?"

"Obviously. You should always go by the King of Hearts' philosophy, '_Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'_ So come on, I sincerely doubt you can shock me with anything. Spill."

Ianto sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Ok, you asked for it. A few weeks ago, Owen and me got in a fight."

"About anything specific?"

"It was a brotherly fight not a friends or coworkers fight. We were arguing about our parents. Kinda gave the game away with the team."

"Yeah, would do."

"Anyway, Jack… in his _infinite wisdom_, decided to stick us in a cell so we could sort out our 'issues'… I may be beginning to see a pattern to his methods of problem sorting… but in any case, it didn't work. But… I may have let something slip about Ivor."

"Oooh dear." Michaela winced. Her fingers tightened around Ianto's.

"Yeah, so that night, after Jack let us out, Owen stole the Ghost Machine and went to Ivor's house and used it and saw him pushing me down the stairs. Then he found my box. I realised what had happened the next morning and went looking for him. I told him about Ivor raping me. God, why did I tell him that? I'm such an idiot!"

"Keep going Ianto, focus."

"Owen told Jack about it."

"Aw crap."

"Yup. Jack snapped and decided that Ivor deserved some good old-fashioned torture. You can guess what happened when I figured it out after they left."

"You went after them and tried to take back control of your life, by the most extreme means you could." Her voice was soft, understanding even, and Ianto loved her all the more for it.

"And in doing so I became the monster Ivor had always been. And so I went out and… found someone to take my mind off of it. Jack and Owen caught me. Jack flipped and refused to let me out of the Hub unless I agreed to 'come to him whenever I felt the need for pain'."

"You told him to shove his offer."

"Yup. And so he locked me in the Hub and… eventually I called you."

"Anything else?"

"The night I got out of the Hub… Jack and I had a fight. And… I snapped." Ianto finally met her eyes and she read his like an open book.

"Oh a Dhia, you didn't." she moaned, pressing a hand to her face.

"I did… I used Jack for the pain. I hurt him to hurt myself."

Ianto bit his lower lip, and swallowed hard, trying to control himself. But stinging, hot tears leaked out and tumbled down his cheeks. At once Michaela tried to put her arms around him, but he pushed them away and got to his feet, tugging at his hair as he paced in front of her.

"I'm so angry, and I'm so sick with myself. I did something so foul… It's all so fucked up! Why didn't they listen to me? Why didn't they just leave it alone?"

"Ianto-"

"I feel like I'm flying apart 'kaela!" Ianto fell to his knees in front of her, his hands scrambling for a purchase on her body. Hers tried to still them, calm him. "I feel like I'm splitting into a thousand pieces and I've no idea how to stop it. Things just won't stop, I can't make them stop. 'Kaela, please, make it stop, like you did before. Help me! I feel like I'm loosing my mind."

Michaela grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to her so she could hold him tight in her arms, rocking him a little. This action was half to calm him down and half to hide her face, because she couldn't hide her helpless expression. As Ianto started to calm down, Michaela pulled back so she looked him in the face, burying her fingers in his hair. Her green eyes met his blue ones, and she gave him a bracing smile.

"Ianto, I promise I will help you. But we both know dealing with this shite isn't gonna be easy. It's never been easy."

Ianto turned his face so he could rub his cheek against the inside of her wrist, where his stubble scratched over the soft, delicate skin there, leaving faint red marks.

"Thank you."

Michaela smile widened for a moment and she gave his head a mild pat as she stood up.

"I'm gonna make a cuppa tea. You want one?"

"Yeah, please."

"Ah, ah! As Gaeilge!"

"Erm… ba mhaith liom an cupan le do thoil…?" Ianto grimaced. His Irish was crap, his pronunciation worse, but it always got a smile from Michaela. This time was no exception. She chuckled and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Maith an buchaill."

Ianto smiled after her, and sat on the floor, sighing in some relief. Just telling her had definitely helped, but he knew well this kind of shit didn't go away like that. He wasn't even sure what he wanted out of the dealing with it, he just wanted to stop feeling this way. He didn't want to feel like he was being pulled in a thousand different directions, going nowhere. Trapped in limbo, with nowhere to go. He could only hope Michaela would be able to help him, like she had before.

~*~

_(30__th__ November 2002)_

Ianto gave a fake smile to the woman he'd just given a latte with cinnamon to, and directed his attention to the next customer before she'd moved away. He was just a coffee boy, but he was good at it, the best in the café. The pay was minimal, but it was something. Of course, he still hadn't had more than a cursory conversation with any of his co-workers, and when one of them had clapped him on the shoulder he'd nearly punched him, so on that front, it wasn't so good. But he didn't mind. He liked being by himself.

He was so focused on his job he didn't register Michaela appearing at the front of the queue.

"What can I get for you?"

"Hot chocolate, extra cream, and a conversation next break you get please."

Ianto's head snapped up to meet her smiling face and he felt a smile break out over his own face before he realised what he was doing.

"Oh, hey!"

"Heya."

"Hot chocolate? Sure."

"Great, thanks. And I need your help with something, so… could we talk?"

"Um… I can be with you in about fifteen minutes. Meet you outside?"

"Sure, grand." Michaela paid for her drink, and then, when Ianto gave it to her, disappeared from his line of sight as he kept working, although his mind was only half on the job now. The ease at which he'd agreed to talk to her astonished him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a simple, easy conversation. He was treading into dangerous territory now, he knew it. But he didn't really want to stop himself.

Fifteen minutes later, he slipped out and pulled out a cigarette. He glanced around and spotted Michaela leaning against the wall, smoking and clutching her hot chocolate as a guard against the freezing weather. For a moment, Ianto found himself studying her, not entirely sure what he was looking at. Then he shook his head and walked up to her.

"Hey."

"Hey-ya." She smiled up at him, looking a little more relaxed than the last time he'd seen her.

"So, you need my help."

"Yeah… see, I've found this thing, out in the country, and I can't shift it all by myself. It's too big and heavy for me. But I can't ask my boss to help me, he'd break his back trying. But I need to get it to our office. So I was wondering…"

"If I'd help you out."

"Pretty much. You don't have to, if you don't want to, but you were the only person I could think of, plus, I think you can be trusted with it."

"Is it like, secret?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"How secret? Like, do I need to sign some sort of contract for it?"

"Oh, nah, my boss won't ask any questions. He trusts me. Plus, it's not, like, a big huge thing, in importance –not size, in size it's big. Hence why I need help. Half the issue is it's quite slippy at the moment in the field it's in. I can pay you for it."

"How much?"

Michaela shrugged, tapping the filter in her hand and flicking away ash, "'bout, a hundred and fifty."

"Seriously?! For helping to move something?"

"Sure."

"Sign me up!" Ianto grinned. Michaela smiled.

"Grand, here, when d'you get off?"

"At six."

"Hmm… bit late for this time of year. Light'll be gone."

"Can it wait until tomorrow? We could go early, Although I suppose we'd have the same problem then…"

Michaela bit her lower lip, eyeing him up. And Ianto realised half her hesitance was a reluctance to be alone with him in the countryside in the dark. Normally, that would have pissed him off. But honestly, he got it when it came to her. Maybe because she got him.

"I could ask if I could be let off early now, means the job would get done."

"Do you think you could?" Michaela looked relieved.

"I'll go ask."

Ianto's boss insisted it was a once off, for his best coffee maker, and then sent him away with a wave of his hand. Michaela smiled at him when he came back with a triumphant expression.

"Cool, ok, let's go. There're wellies in the boot of my car, they should fit you."

"You knew I'd say yes?"

"Living in hope more like."

Ianto followed her to her car, which turned out to be a seriously flashy SUV.

"Tell me this isn't yours!"

"I wish! Actually I don't. Bloody thing's an eyesore, plus it reminds me waaaay too much of South Dublin. It belongs to Torchwood. Not that we ever need it."

"Does the Cardiff place have one? I swear I've seen this car before." Ianto ran his hand over the bonnet as he went around to the passenger door.

"Oh yes. Idiots who don't know how to keep a secret, honestly." Michaela clucked her tongue like a mother hen as she turned on the engine. As she drove out of the city, Ianto decided to ask something that had been bugging him.

"What does Torchwood actually do?"

Michaela grimaced at him for a second and then looked back at the road.

"You can't tell me, can you."

"Sorry. One of the rules."

"Do people follow it?"

"Well, in London, no one seems to care. To the public it's just another skyscraper. Cardiff… Cardiff's a little different, but they're ok at staying under the radar most of the time. Although that's been getting worse lately… and as for Glasgow, there's no one to tell." Michaela suddenly snorted, rubbing her face with one hand, while keeping the other on the wheel, "Oh mo Dhia! Apparently I can't keep a secret either."

"To be fair, you haven't really told me anything."

"Ugh! I'm not supposed to talk about my job with people who aren't working for the same organisation. It's one of the rules… I hate breaking rules! Although I suppose we have to go back to the House to drop it off… so I'm breaking it anyway… damnit!"

Ianto chuckled. Michaela's cheeks flushed pink. "Anyway, we're nearly there. And I know where it is, so I'd say it won't be long before we're dropping it off."

"Cool."

They were quiet the rest of the car ride, but Ianto was hyper-aware of Michaela's closeness to him. He wondered why it didn't bother him. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, watching how she held the wheel tight, as if afraid of loosing control.

Soon she parked at the side of the road and got out, walking to the boot. Ianto followed her, not knowing what else to do.

Michaela presented him with green wellies and put on bright yellow ones herself. Ianto stared at them. She caught his gaze and blushed again.

"My boss. He thought it was funny to buy ones this bright. Says they clash beautifully with my hair."

"Ah." Ianto pulled the wellies on, and followed her onto a field that must have flooded with rain recently, and had now left behind soggy ground that squelched and burbled with each step they took. The strong smell of decaying grass, that distinctive smell of country muck, Ianto couldn't decide if he liked it or not. He'd always been a city boy.

"Christ! It's more like bog than muck! Just like home." Michaela seemed to actually be enjoying herself in the mess. It was the first smile he'd seen on her face that was unreserved.

"You actually lived in conditions like this?" asked Ianto, half horrified, half curious.

"Not really, but I'm a bogger."

"A what?"

"Ok… d'you know what the Pale is?"

"Nope."

"Ah feck… ok, basically, anyone who isn't from Dublin is a bogger because they're from outside the Pale. And I lived everywhere in Ireland, so I'm a bogger."

"Is that like Welsh people are sheep shaggers to the English?"

"Yup, pretty much the same. Besides, don't you like this?"

"Not really. I don't like being dirty… and I know that sounds weird considering the condition I was in when we met."

"I don't like it either, but I love bogs! They're fun."

"You're kidding, right?" Ianto looked at her, a grin breaking across his face as he watched her slip and right herself. Her eyes bugged out a little in alarm as she struggled for balance. When she managed to steady herself, arms splayed for balance, she smiled at him.

"You've obviously never been on a bog slide."

"I don't even know what that is."

"Here we go!" Michaela pointed to just in front of them. Sticking out of the ground was a large… something. It was almost shaped like a lightning bolt, and made of what looked like frosted glass, but when Ianto touched it, it felt like metal. It was also really heavy as they lifted it together, pulling it out of the mud. Ianto prayed that his hostel shower was warm when he got back. It was bitingly cold, and the mud that had coated his hands was like ice.

"What the hell is this thing anyway?"

Michaela groaned.

"Right, right, I won't ask again." Ianto huffed.

"Thank you."

They made their way slowly back to the car, doing their best not to stumble. Unfortunately, Ianto slipped as he went and his leg bent painfully as he collapsed to the ground with a swear. Michaela yelped and Ianto heard her fall to as he groaned, grimacing up at the sky. Michaela crawled over to him and touched his chest, her hand cold through his t-shirt.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ok." Ianto could barely speak, barely breath as he felt her hand on his body. He couldn't remember the last time someone had touched him like that, if ever. Michaela glanced down at her hand and snatched it away, looking embarrassed. They avoided each other's eyes as they gathered the object up again and got it to the car. The car ride back towards Glasgow was definitely more awkward than the one out. Ianto kept himself occupied by picking at the drying mud on his arm. Michaela had a large amount in her hair. Just as they were nearing the city, she turned off the main road and drove along some smaller roads. Just as Ianto lost patience and was going to ask where they were going, a huge building appeared in front of them. It was old, probably pre-Victorian, if he remembered his history –and with his eidetic memory he was fairly sure he did.

As Michaela drove up the driveway, Ianto couldn't keep his opinion to himself,

"Wow!"

Michaela smiled, still looking a little awkward. "Welcome to Torchwood House."

* * *

More from the present real soon, I know there's a lot of flashbacks atm, but it'll all tie in together I promise. There is a reason for the Jack part at the start of this chapter, I promise.

Night's Darkness


	21. Chapter 21

Ok, I know I promised I was back, but… stuff happened. Namely I scaled my left hand after my right arm got better and then I just had no plot bunny energy, plus I decided to go back try and figure out what the dates were for the 'present' times, as I felt saying present was sloppy. So chapter 1 began on the 21st of August 2008 and we are now at the 16th September 2008, and we're on day 27.

To make up for the length of time this has taken me, it's an extra long chapter, hopefully with enough to keep you going and also, if people are interested, I'm currently planning a sequel. This fic's all planned out and the sequel is –in theory- planned too. So let me know what you think!

* * *

**Chapter 21**

_(16__th__ September 2008)_

"Jack, what the hell do you mean you've just been served?" demanded Gwen, looking from him to the paper in his hand. "What just happened?"

"You saw what happened, Gwen. Michaela came in and basically said that because Ianto reported me to Torchwood Two, I'm under investigation as my capabilities as a leader have been brought into question. So she's gonna have to do a complete review of my actions since I became leader, which will involve reading every report ever made, observing us in everything we do and interviewing all of you, plus Ianto and me about every aspect of our lives affected by working here."

"She's can't do that! Can she?"

Jack brandished the letter under Gwen's nose, making her flinch, "According to this she can. She can do whatever she wants, pretty much."

Tosh took the letter and read through it. She'd gone very white and was grey by the time she looked up. "Jack… if she… what'll happen to us if you, if you fail the review?"

Jack looked at Toshiko and his face softened, but he was blunt, "I don't know. Retcon? Imprisonment? God only knows. This is why I hate dealing with UNIT, the bureaucrats and anyone else who thinks they know how the Rift and aliens should be handled. Ianto's much better at-" Jack cut himself off and took the letter back. "Look… you should all just go. There're… things I need to start sorting out if she'd gonna start tomorrow."

"But Jack-" protested Gwen.

"Just go!" snapped Jack, pointing at the cog wheel Michaela had just exited. Then he spun away from them and stormed into his office, slamming the door. The then windows were blocked by the blinds. The three teammates looked at each other aghast. Tosh looked terrified, Owen look upset and Gwen looked livid. Still reeling from what they'd learned, they all gathered their things and left the Hub, one by one.

Jack meanwhile, was covering his face with his hands, elbows resting on his desk as he tried to control his breathing so he wouldn't loose control. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't loose this team! He was having enough trouble functioning without Ianto, never mind the idea of being separated from all of the team forever. As for being locked up forever in a UNIT prison, it didn't bear thinking about. He'd seen what a few weeks did to Tosh. What was a few weeks compared to forever? What's more, he couldn't believe Michaela was the one doing this to him. He'd thought she liked him, trusted him And how the hell did she know Ianto, never mind well enough to justify that rather impressive slap. It wasn't the worst slap he'd ever received, but considering it had come from someone he'd thought of as a meek, lonely kitten, with all the courage of a mouse, it was like a punch from a concrete fist.

As he looked down at the letter, seeing Archie's bigger, stylish signature at the bottom and the neat, small blue one next to it. Jack had become very acquainted with that writing over the course of a single week… among other things, he thought back to the games he'd played.

_(13__th__ June 2005)_

The meeting had resumed after the lunch, and after about twenty minutes of mischievous thoughts, Jack suddenly found himself under Yvonne's irritated gaze.

"Captain Harkness, can you please explain yourself?"

'_Now if that isn't the question of the millennia._' thought Jack in amusement, even as he said, "I dunno, what do you wanna know?" and flashed his best flirty grin at the woman. Yvonne gave him a withering glare as Archie sniggered to himself. Suzie rolled her eyes.

"I'm talking about your records, your reports. They're in such a shambles, it's as if a group of half-witted monkeys wrote them."

Suzie twitched next to him, and Jack had to grit his teeth for a moment before he could respond.

"We're a bit busy taking care of the Weevils and various other alien creatures and objects that come through the Rift. There are only four of us after all."

"That's not my concern. My concern is that all three Torchwood bases are up to scratch on their reports and records so that all useful artefacts can be catalogued and put to use for the good of Queen and Country."

Jack was fairly sure Archie muttered 'bollocks!' under his breath. Yvonne ignored him. "In any case, we can't proceed until these records are brought up to acceptable standards."

"What does that mean?" asked Archie, looking alarmed.

"It means until Captain Harkness sorts them out, none of us are leaving this hotel. And from the state of them, it'll probably take at least a week."

"Then he can 'ave Michaela help him!"

Michaela's reaction was comically cartoonish. Her head snapped up and her eyes bugged out like she'd just stepped out of a Tom and Jerry short, as Archie continued, "The girl's a genius with records and paperwork, she'll sort Harkness straight in no time. Let 'er and 'im have this place for a few hours and the whole thing'll be sorted."

Jack was amused at how red Michaela was going as every pair of eyes turned to look at her. Yvonne raised an eyebrow at the young woman, scrutinising her, judging her .

"Ms. Murphy, do you think you could handle this problem by the end of the day?" Her voice was like ice.

Michaela opened her mouth and stuttered some sort of noise, glancing at Jack and Archie, before snapping her mouth shut and nodding. Yvonne looked at her like she was a bug as she got to her feet. As the others scrapped their chairs and got to their feet, Jack winked at Michaela and, even with the sound of rustling papers and feet and such, he still heard her terrified little whimper. Suzie had to rush out sniggering to herself, while Jack bit his lip to restrain his laughter.

Then Jack watched with mild curiosity as Archie's hand rested on Michaela's shoulder for a brief moment and she glanced up at the man, who smiled at her, patting the shoulder. She gave a small smile and nodded at him. Then pulled at her notebook and pen and stood up, walking around the table and pulling the chair next to Jack away from him before sitting in it. Jack immediately scooched closer and rested his clasped hands on the desk. He saw Michaela gulp as the door shut behind him.

There was a delightfully awkward silence as Jack waited for her to start them off. After all, she was the one who had to fix the problem. Finally, she let out a huff of air and said,

"Um, Captain, we're gonna need your reports."

Jack smiled at her, even though she was looking at the notebook's new page, avoiding his eyes. "Sure, I'll get them."

He grabbed a box and lifted it up, setting it in front of her. Michaela definitely groaned inwardly at the sight of it.

"A-Are they in chronological order?"

"Oooh doubtful. Suzie probably just threw them in any old way. We'll have to go through them all…" Jack leaned closer, enunciating very carefully, "One… by… one."

Michaela swallowed and looked up at him, finally meeting his eyes. She was nervous, but also annoyed. She knew he was trying to rattle her. Jack flashed her a grin. Something seemed to stiffen her spine and she stood up, grabbing the box and opening it, pulling out the first few reports, piling them up.

"Right then," Tucking a lock of hair that had escaped from her chignon behind her ear, she cleared her throat, "Let's get started."

The reports really were in bad condition. Jack had to really think to recall a few of the incidents, and Michaela, he had to admit, was very good at her job. She had the reports looking perfect by the time she was through with each one. Owen's were the worst by far. One actually said, 'Read Tosh's. It'll have everything you need.' It wasn't even dated, but Michaela was able to figure out what he was referring to and she wrote the report based on Jack's words and Suzie and Tosh's reports. Jack made a mental note to talk to the medic.

"You're pretty good at this." Jack said after about five hours of mind-numbing boredom, with the pile now almost gone. He'd been slowly inching his foot closer to hers over the time and now he was less than a hair's breadth from her. And she knew it because her shoulders had tensed again. Jack could smell the sweetness of her perfume mingled with her apple shampoo. It was nice.

"It's my job, Captain." she said, her free hand clenching on top of the table, even as she kept writing in neat, small, blue writing. "You should always be good at your job."

"I agree. It's important. Particularly in the line of work we do." Jack put his hand on the arm of her chair and lowered his voice, making it a little deeper. "If we were bad at our jobs, someone could get hurt, even die. It's very important to be good at your job."

Michaela's green eyes were quick to look at his hand and then up at him. She visibly jumped as she realised just how close Jack was to her. Jack had put about an inch between their faces and he leaned forward to close it, a little smirk on his lips as he moved. Michaela leaned away at once, twisting in the chair so her knees bumped his, trying to reinforce the distance. Her eyes were huge again, and in seconds she was twisting right out of the chair and leaning back over the table as Jack crowded her, directed her, still smiling. Finally, she was almost flat against the table and Jack managed to close the distance and press his lips to hers.

It wasn't much of a kiss, if it could even be called that, considering Michaela wasn't moving her lips, only letting out quick little breaths that Jack could feel against his own chest as he stretched to reach her. He had to admit this wasn't quite working the way he'd hoped. Usually his tactics would make his targets crack and give in, enjoying the passion of it all, giving in and going wild.

Jack moved his hand and touched the inside of her knee. And Michaela came alive underneath him, but not the way he'd hoped. Letting out a terrified squeal, she shoved him away and ran out of the room, leaving all her stuff behind and leaving Jack thinking he may not have approached this quite right.

~*~

_(16__th__ September 2008)_

Owen sat in his home, holding Doctor Bear in his hands, wondering how he'd managed to fuck up so badly. Now the team could be torn apart. Wasn't it enough that his brother was completely crazy and hated him? Apparently not. Now his remaining family was going to be taken away from him.

Owen downed another glass of scotch, but it wasn't helping to blur the memory of the look on Jack's face as he'd realised just what was happening. God he'd looked so horrified. Owen was certainly feeling that way. What had he done to Jack? After everything Jack had done for him…

Jack had saved him. In some ways Jack had broken him first and then put him back together and opened his eyes to the big, terrifying reality that was the Universe. But even though loosing Katie had destroyed him, Torchwood had saved him by giving him a chance to try and save others where Katie couldn't be saved. In doing so, Jack had given Owen a family. A dysfunctional, intense crazy family, but a family nonetheless. It had even given back the only one left of his biological family, even if things had been better when they'd pretended otherwise. Jack had given Owen so much and how had he repaid him? By shooting him, by leading a mutiny against him, by having a heavy hand in maybe destroying the man's relationship with Ianto, by maybe causing the destruction of the team? Oh yeah, Owen had really done it this time.

Why hadn't he listened to Ianto? Why hadn't he let it alone?

Because, he acknowledged to himself at last, by being stuck with him as a team member, Owen had come to love his brother again. And when he'd learned what Ivor had done, all the hate had dissolved. Now all Owen wanted was to fix things with Ianto.

But now, now Owen was angry, at who he wasn't sure, about this review. What did that ginger paper pusher know about what things were like here in Cardiff? And to question Jack as a leader… it made Owen's blood boil.

The idea of Jack being locked up because of Owen terrified him. Jack had been a ridiculously patient father-figure for Owen. Owen would not loose anymore people he loved.

And if that self-important woman though she could ruin them, she'd another thought coming.

Owen would not make things easy for her.

~*~

_(13__th__ March 2005) _

Jack felt guilty. Normally he wouldn't, especially over an over-reaction like that Micka-Mouse –his new nickname for the woman- had had but she'd run out so fast, that Jack felt bad for scaring her. He wouldn't apologise; he'd meant no harm, just having some fun, but he decided to make she was ok.

It turned out, like a real mouse, Michaela was hard to find after a scare. She wasn't with Archie –who'd given him the bizzarest look ever when he'd asked about her- or in her room, which Jack knew for sure because he used his wrist strap to unlock the door and peek inside. With nothing better to do, and having sent Suzie, who'd laughed her head off upon seeing him, guessing what had happened, and then proceeding to mock him, to torment Yvonne, Jack kept looking. He would admit there was a small part of him that was determined to get Michaela into bed now that Suzie had teased him about not being so irresistible in his old age.

At last, he found her. She was on the grand terrace. In the dark Jack would have missed her if it weren't for her white blouse. She was on her phone, her free hand idly playing with a leaf of a rose bush. As Jack watched her, he couldn't help but notice how sad and small her voice was as she spoke.

"-not so bad, just lots of paperwork. And Ms. Hartman is her usual charming self… Because I'm afraid if I call her Yvonne, she'll put a hex on me…" She smiled a little, turning on her heels and tilting her head into her hand cradling the phone. "Yeah, maybe so. Anyway, um, I'm gonna be here all week if you wanna meet up at… oh." Her smile fell. "Well, maybe I could, I dunno, meet you two somewhere. I mean, Lisa sounds nice… ah. Well, what about Saturday, I could- … oh, oh ok. Well, maybe another time then. Have fun camping. I… yeah, bye."

Michaela hung up and closed her eyes, looking humiliated and hurt. "Amadán." she hissed, looking angry with herself. Jack could only guess that word was Irish for idiot.

"Ex-boyfriend?" he asked knowingly, leaning against the door frame. Michaela nearly jumped out of her skin, and she didn't relax when she saw who it was speaking. She swallowed hard.

"More a friend really now." Her voice was sad and shaky. "It's a wee bit complicated."

Jack chuckled "Isn't it always?"

Michaela held her phone in two hands, like she was praying and she perched on the low stone wall, staring at the ground. Licking her lips, she blurted out, "He –he's got a new girlfriend. Completely crazy about her. They've only been together a few months, but –Jesus!- I bet that he'd tear the world apart to keep her."

Jack could hear the unsaid question. _'Did I ever mean that much to him?'_ This just made things so much easier for him. Putting on a sympathetic, yet ironic-what can you do?- smile he stuck his hands in his pockets and swaggered across the terrace to sit beside her. A small intake of breath was the only reaction Michaela gave to the action.

"Sounds like young love to me." said Jack, leaning back a little. Michaela nodded.

"He fell fast. I… I was surprised by it."

"Yeah, you'd only just broken up?"

"Sorta, it'd been like, what, two months or something before he started talking about her."

"Wow, two months isn't a long time if you and him were serious." Jack honestly didn't care, but if he wanted to get her into bed, he'd have to get her to open up to him. Asshole exes were very useful in this area.

"We… it was… y'know, special."

'_They always think that.'_ thought Jack, smiling to himself. He always found that cute. Michaela looked at her phone, probably hoping for a call back. As Jack looked at her he admire the pretty little pout on her lips. After all, while she wouldn't turn heads that much, she wasn't ugly. And right now she was lonely, vulnerable. Jack's.

Reaching out, Jack gave Michaela's knee a faux-comforting/friendly pat. It was the same knee he'd touched earlier. Michaela's eyes snapped up to meet his. Jack froze, pretending to be surprised. It meant his hand stayed on her knee. Michaela's eyes were shiny, needy, as she leaned forward hesitantly. Jack schooled his features to look understanding as he leaned closer. But he let Michaela close the distance.

This kiss was much better than the first one. Of course, it was nothing spectacular, Michaela lacked finesse, but Jack was more than willing to teach her. He parted her lips and pushed his tongue into her mouth, colliding with hers as Michaela started in surprise. Jack grabbed the back of her head and held her still as he ran his tongue over hers and then up to the roof of her mouth. Michaela shivered in his grip. Jack had won.

Without breaking the kiss, Jack stood up and pressed against Michaela, pinning her to the stone wall by pressing his hips against hers. He put an arm around her waist, his other hand gently tipping her head back to accommodate the change in height difference and to get better access. Michaela let her head rest in his hand, her mouth open to him to do with what he wanted. When need for air finally made Jack pull back he grinned down at her. Her lips, still pouty, were all swollen and shiny, and her eyes were dazed as she looked up at him almost in astonishment. Jack knew then, that, if he wanted to he could probably just bend her over the wall and she'd let him. But a bed would allow more time for more fun.

"C'mon." he murmured in her ear, grabbing her hand and pulling her back into the hotel. Michaela had to almost skip to keep up with him. Jack pulled her into the lift and pressed the button for his own floor. He glanced at Michaela and saw a frown forming on her face. Was she reconsidering? Like hell she was now!

Jack put his hands on her shoulders, pushing her against the wall and kissing her hard. Then he let his right hand travel down her curves to slide up her inner thigh under her skirt, stroking the very soft skin halfway up. Michaela whimpered and pulled at his neck, hair and shoulders, trying to get under his clothes. Jack grinned to himself. The mouse was turning into a purring kitten. It'd been easier than he'd expected. Thank God for asshole exes.

It didn't take long to get to his room, and it took even less time to get all of Michaela's well made but not best-fitting clothing off of her. Except her skirt. Jack had been right to think it would look lovely all bunched at her hips like it was. As he lay on top of her, his own clothes gone, Michaela wrapped her legs around his waist and tried to get at his lips again. Jack couldn't help but think that activities and amusement for the week may well have been taken care of for him. Yup, thank god for asshole exes.

~*~

_(30__th__ November 2002)_

"Ok, I don't know what I was expecting, but this wasn't it." Ianto got out of the SUV and propped himself against it, admiring the huge building before him. It had been meticulously preserved, although the grounds had the beginnings of unkemptness. "I didn't think building's like this still existed. What is it, 18th –late 17th century?"

"Late 17th, yeah. How'd you know that?" Michaela sounded impressed as she walked around the car to the back and opened the boot. Ianto looked over the building again before joining her, careful to avoid her eyes. He was still uncomfortable about the way she'd touched him, even if it had been innocent.

"I read a book on architecture when I was 14. Really liked all the stuff about mansions. Used to wish I could live in one someday.

"On your own? Hell of a cleaning job."

Ianto grinned as he gripped the object, preparing to lift it. "Hence why I said 'used to'. Gave it up by the time I was 17."

"Ah, fair enough then."

Together, they heaved the object out of the car and carried it towards the building. Michaela kicked the door, which seemed to unlock itself, and swung open.

'_Neat!'_ thought Ianto as he readjusted his grip. The mansion was surprisingly warm and welcoming with marble floor, carpeted grand staircase, and the walls covered in paintings and stuffed heads.

"Up we go, c'mon." Michaela backed up the stairs, bits of mud flaking out of her hair and landing on the carpet of the stairs. Ianto groaned as they started up. Michaela huffed, "C'mon, we don't wanna be carrying this thing all day. We're not Laurel and Hardy and this ain't a music box."

"Ugh! Another nice mess you've gotten me into!" Ianto smirked as she laughed. At last the reached the top of the stairs and went down a corridor into a room. A big, strong looking desk gleamed invitingly at them in the setting sunlight coming through the window. With a final grunt, they lifted the object and set it down on the desk. It held.

"Phew! Dunno how I'm gonna store that away." sighed Michaela, pulling at the mud in her hair.

"I could help you." Ianto couldn't believe he'd just said that. But he didn't want to leave just yet.

"Oooh no. My boss won't if I get you to help me like this, but no way will he let you into the archives. Thanks though.." As she spoke, Michaela went to another door and pulled it open. A sandy blur shot out of the room and started running around, yapping and jumping up at them. Ianto smiled. "Dubhtach stop it!" Michaela's voice was firm. The dog skidded to a halt in front of her. Panting it looked up at her and barked. Michaela bent forward and seemed to pinch its neck. The dog fell quiet and lower its head.

"Why'd you do that?" demanded Ianto.

"I'm not hurting her, but she can't be like that. She's trying to dominate us and if I don't want her running around and being out of control when she grows up, then I need to be the alpha dog to her and that means treating her like she's a dog, not a human." Her tone was defensive.

Ianto frowned, confused, "What?"

"Have you ever noticed that small dogs are always yappy and grumpy?"

"A bit, I guess."

"It's because they're indulged in their dominate behaviour, like when they jump up at you. It's them saying, 'I own you'. To have a good relationship with a dog, I have to be in charge, right from the start. It'll be harder to train her when she's fully grown."

"How big is she gonna get?"

"When she's fully grown, she'll be taller than you on her back legs."

"… Fuck! What breed is she?"

"Irish Wolfhound." Michaela smiled sheepishly. Ianto pressed his lips together, repressing a smile.

"Of course she is."

Michaela blushed, crouching down and scratching behind the dog's ears. Ianto's smile broke out as crouched down and tickled the pup under the chin. The pup's tail wagged enthusiastically.

"What's her name again?"

"Dubhtach."

"Irish name?"

"What do you think?"

Ianto was tempted to ask her about her obsessiveness with Irish stuff, but he kept it to himself. As his hand went up the pup's ears, his finger's brushed Michaela's. Michaela froze and Ianto stopped breathing as, by their own violation, his fingers rubbed against hers just enough to send his brain into overdrive. Dubhtach's tail kept wagging as Michaela finally pulled her hand away, putting it into her lap, looking at the wooden floor. Ianto coughed, letting his hand drop. Michaela sighed, straightening up.

"I've got to examine this thing, and file a report before I can store it."

"Ok." Ianto stood up, stuffing his hands into his pockets as his eyes followed Michaela as she walked around the table and pulled out and pen and paper. Coughing and flicking some hair out of her eyes, she put pen to paper. Then paused and looked up at him.

"Why don't I show you to the shower first. You can clean up and I can get this done."

"That'd be great, thanks." Ianto scratched at the dried mud on his arm.

"C'mon then. Dubhtach, come."

Ianto and pup both followed Michaela to a stately bathroom, fancier than any Ianto had ever seen. Michaela put towels on the modern radiator and found clean clothes that looked like they'd fit him, while Ianto stood and felt awkward.

"You don't have to do all this, you know."

"It's grand. I don't mind helping out people I actually like." Michaela blushed as she spoke, then hurried out, herding Dubhtach with her. Ianto stood, rooted to the spot for a few moments, a smile relaxing his face. She liked him.

There was a knock at the door, "Hey, Ianto!"

"Yeah?"

"Just thought you might like to know, Queen Victoria probably used that loo there! Y'know, when she took the pole outta 'er arse!" Michaela laughed and Ianto swivelled his head to stare at the loo. "Enjoy your shower." Her footsteps faded away. Ianto chuckled and removed his clothes, getting into the shower. As he scrubbed away the mud under the high pressured, delightfully hot shower, he wondered why Michaela didn't live here. Did anyone? And as he wrapped a warm, fluffy towel around himself, he thought if no one else wanted to live here, he wouldn't mind.

Soon he was dry, warm and dressed. The clothes were baggy but well made and Ianto wriggled inside them, enjoying the soft comfort. The reminded himself not to get too used to this. Trouble was, he was already getting used to her.

Ianto went back into the other room. Michaela was bent over the weird object, now free of the mud it had collected. She was running what looked like a laser scanner over it, or so he guessed. For the briefest moment Ianto wanted to walk up and put his arms around her, and just hold her, feel the warmth of her body heat, find it nice and comforting. He shook it off at once.

"Hey."

"Heya." Michaela glanced over her shoulder at him, smiling. "Much better. I'm almost done with this and then I can bring you back to the city."

Some of the warmth left Ianto's body. Back to the city? Back to being meaningless, with no one? Back to being cold all the time? Fuck! He'd gotten used to this way too quick. What was he doing? Oh god!

"Ianto, you ok?" Michaela's voice cut through his panicked thoughts. Looking up Ianto realised she'd turned to face him and was looking at him with concern. Shit, did she care? Really?

"What do you care?" Ianto demanded, desperate for an answer. Michaela started in surprise.

"What'd you mean? Why wouldn't I care? Ianto what's wrong?"

"You don't even know me!" Christ, it was like the floodgates had opened, releasing pent up neediness and anxiety.

Now Michaela looked alarmed, backing up a little. "I… I thought I was getting to know you. what, what's gotten into you? What's wrong?"

"Everything! This isn't right, you can't just-"

"Micka!"

"Crap!" squeaked Michaela, as the deep voice boomed again, closer this time. "My boss! He can't see you! You have to hide." She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the door.

"I thought you said he wouldn't mind."

"So long as I only told him about it after you were gone."

"Micka! Where are ye?"

The voice scared the shit out of Ianto. It was deep, loud, thick. So he did the only thing he could think of. He hid under the desk. Michaela shifted two high chairs in front of him, helping to obscure him. Just in time too, as heavy footsteps entered the room.

"There ye are ma wee Micka."

"Hi Archie!" Michaela squeaked. She was crap at playing casual. "Didn't realise you were here."

"Had to have a conference with Ms. No-Hartman. Woman's not human, I'm telling ye!"

Michaela gave a nervous chuckle. All Ianto could see were her legs and feet, still clad in those stupid yellow wellies.

"Ah!" said Archie, his tan workboots stomping into view as he came closer to the desk. "And what've we here Micka? 's this that signal ye picked up."

"Um, Yup! Just cataloguing it now."

"Hrm…" Archie leaned over the desk, probably to examine the thing. Ianto pressed against the back of the desk. "Looks heavy."

"Yeah, it is. Like a hippo skin."

'_A what?'_ thought Ianto, throwing a bewildered look up at the top of the desk.

Archie chuckled, "A whole tonne, ma wee encyclopaedia?"

"Yeah. Well, felt like it anyway."

Archie's feet turned around so was now facing Michaela, who'd been behind him. "Heavy then. Too heavy for ye ta carry on your own."

"Well… I had help."

"Aye?" Archie was questioning but not surprised. Ianto held his breath.

"Ianto, you know, that guy I met, he helped me carry it."

"Hrm, Ianto? Ianto? Iantoooo, Ah, pale, tall, skinny, black hair?"

"Yeah –wait, how'd you know that?"

"Well it's easy when you see the person out the window."

Ianto's eyes widened and he shivered a little. Michaela shifted on her feet. Archie chuckled, an almost paternal sound.

"Now then lad-"

BANG!

"Shit!" Ianto jumped out of his skin and cracked his head on the desk. Pain exploded in his brain and he saw stars.

"-out ye come now." Archie peered under the table that he'd slapped, grinning at Ianto. Amid the birds flying around his head, Ianto somehow decided that he like this guy. Feeling very stupid, he crawled out from under the desk, getting to his feet. Archie gave him a look over and then looked at Michaela, who blushed and pouted.

"I broke the rules, I panicked."

"Clearly Micka." Archie shook his head, looking at Ianto. "You'd think she'd know by now that I'm not a stickler for rules. She's the one who knows them off by heart. Frankly so long as the job gets done I don't give a shit how. And she likes ye, you're fine by me."

Ianto blushed and Michaela turned crimson. Archie squared his shoulders and, looking at Ianto square in the eyes, he said, "Can ye keep a secret boy?"

Ianto hated being called 'boy'. Ivor had called him that. Swallowing hard, he nodded. "Can ye be trusted?"

Again, Ianto nodded.

"Hm!" Archie looked at Michaela, who looked at the ground. Ianto watched as Archie gave the Irish woman a knowing, fatherly look. Then he cleared his throat. "Then you're fine by my professional opinion. So long ye keep your mouth shut about anything ye may see here, ye can stay as long as ye want, provided Micka knows where ye are at all times and ye obey her restrictions in this place. Sound good?"

With the strong feeling he'd just been drawn into some weird cult, Ianto nodded one more time.

"Oi! I had to jump through feckin hoops to get in here!" sulked Michaela, the relief obvious on her face.

"Aye, ye did. But you wanted secret info. The lad here just has to keep his trap shut about what he may see. There's a difference. Now, I'm off to Jack and rant about Hartman. You finish up here, order dinner or something, and for God's sake have a shower Micka! Your Irish pride's all covered in muck." Archie clapped Ianto hard on the shoulder, didn't catch his flinch and strode out of the room. Ianto glanced at Michaela, looking away when she met his eyes. The silence stretched between them until Ianto broke.

"Irish Pride?"

"Mo hair." Michaela mumbled, gesturing at the auburn strands. "Archie's very Scottish, hates the English, loves the Irish, and says I should wear my hair with pride."

"Ah… what's his view on the Welsh?"

"Indifferent I think. Hasn't mentioned them much during his nationalist rants. He did say once that the Welsh had been beaten into bitter submission by the English and their only form of attack against them was speaking Welsh in shops whenever an English person shows up."

"Better not tell him I'm half English then."

"Are ye really?"

"Ianto flushed, "Well, my dad is… was English, and Mam was Welsh. I feel Welsh because I grew up near Newport, but my brother is completely English."

"Huh. No offence to your brother, but you definitely got the better deal."

"Of course you'd say that. It's practically the law in your country to hate the English."

Michaela narrowed her eyes, clearly unsure if he was teasing her or not. Ianto could admit there was a tiny part of him that was serious. Finally Michaela said,

"We try to keep it to the rugby pitch."

Ianto perked up at once, "You like rugby?"

"It's the only sport I watch."

"Same. I… I used to watch the Six Nations from the door of the sitting room. Ivor ignored me during the matches, so long as I hid when it was over."

Michaela looked and there was no pity in her eyes, only kindness and care.

"Blaine liked football. He'd make me sit at his feet like a dog. If his team won, he'd probably fuck me. If they lost, he'd beat me, then fuck me."

Ianto nodded, horrified as he imagined it, trying not to let it show on his face. This back and forth of titbits about Blaine and Ivor wasn't a competition of suffering, it was a sharing of pain, of understanding. Michaela dropped her eyes and went over to the desk.

"Here, you go on into that room there, relax a bit. If it's cold, gimmie a shout and I'll put the fire on."

"You don't have to-"

"Would ye ever stop saying that! I don't offer to do things unless I want to do them." Michaela's tone was firm, even though she didn't look up.

"Ok, sorry."

"Is ceart go leor, it's ok. Just quit being polite. I think we're past that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Will you take Dubhtach with you? Keep her out of trouble."

"Sure, c'mon Dubhtach." Ianto clicked and waggled his fingers at the pup who jumped to her paws and scampered after him. Michaela called after him to shut the door. If the other room was sparkly decorated, this was crammed. Portraits hung on the walls, save for the biggest wall, which was a giant bookcase. There were large cushioned couches and seats, which looked very inviting, an ornate marble fireplace, with what appeared to be a large plasma screen TV above instead of a mirror or picture. The carpet was deep red, with golden patterns. The walls were red, with white patterns.

In his borrowed clothes and shabby shoes, Ianto felt awkward as he tentatively approached the bookshelves. The smell of old books permeated the room and the leather bound leaves cried out age and knowledge. Some titles Ianto had read, some he didn't recognise and a handful he found in the bottommost corner were new and clearly Michaela's Titles like, 'The Ancient Celts', 'Understanding what it means to be Irish', 'Myths and Legends', 'A Short History of Nearly Everything' summed up what Ianto had gotten from her about what she was like. She liked history. Ianto smiled. So they had more in common than shitty pasts and rugby.

Another book caught his eyes. 'The Secret History of Lucifer.' Curious, Ianto pulled it out and sat in the corner, back against the wall. After a few moments, Dubhtach climbed into his lap and relaxed, closing her eyes. Ianto stroked her head absentmindedly as he read. He was halfway through the book when Michaela came in.

"Brr! It's feckin freezing in here. Ianto why didn't you say, where are ye? Ianto!"

"Here!" called Ianto, still reading. Michaela clambered onto the couch and leaned over the back to spot him.

"Where're you doing down there?"

"Reading."

"Reading what?"

"History of Lucifer."

"Oh… What'd you think?"

"It's interesting. Never really thought much about Saten or the idea that he represented human free will."

"You mean Lucifer does. But he's not Saten like people see him with hooves and pitchfork."

"Yeah. To be honest, I never really bought into religion or God's existence. How can you believe in God when you understand the concept of the Big Bang, and accept life as an accident?" Ianto glanced up at Michaela, noting she'd washed and changed. Her wet hair was hanging like rattails around her face. She also looked grumpy.

"I don't think the Big Bang has to erase God. I may not buy into religion, but I'm the fence about God. Plus, I hate that whole sibling rivalry between religion and science."

"You think science and religion are brothers?"

"Or sisters considering how bitchy they can be with each other."

"How are they related? One's all about lies and the other's all about truth."

"No, both are trying to understand life and going about it different ways. But both were born from the same questions. 'How and why are we here?'"

"All religion cares about is controlling people and scaring them shitless."

"No, not religion. The men who run the business based on religious scripture. They're the bad guys if someone is to be. But most religions' basic rule is to love and be good. We both know that's no small thing."

Ianto snapped the book shut and tossed it to the floor.

"Forget it."

"Whatever." Michaela rolled her eyes, straightening her back. "What do you want to eat for dinner? I'm gonna order." Ianto came out of his sulk with a start.

"Wh –uh… what're you having?"

Michaela shrugged, "Chinese?"

"I like Chinese."

"Cool I'll dig out the menu. You should probably get off the floor before you get a numb bum. C'mon Dubhtach."

Dubhtach yapped and climbed out of Ianto's lap, padding after her mistress, leaving Ianto on his own. That was twice now he'd gotten angry with her for no reason. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Idiot!" he grunted, banging his head against the wall. "Stop being an arse." He got to his feet, and his legs went dead. "Fuck." He shook his legs to get the feeling back.

"Ye ok there?" There was laughter in Michaela's voice as she came back with a menu and saw him doing something not unlike the hokey-pokey. Ianto blushed.

"Dead legs."

"Ah, well, keep shaking. I'm getting Duck. What do you want?"

"Sweet and sour chicken."

"Noodles, rice or chips?"

"Noodles."

"Ok." Michaela ordered the food. Ianto was still trying to regain his right leg. As she hung up, Michaela laughed, "Poor thing. Need any help?"

Ianto looked up sharply and Michaela blushed, realising what she'd just implied.

"N-no. I'm good."

"Ok."

They stood in silence, the pins and needles finally going away in his leg. Ianto coughed, then said,

"Touch isn't too bad."

Michaela was surprised, but she smiled.

"No, it isn't."

Ianto licked his lips, nervously breathing out of his mouth. He walked up to her until he was almost toe to toe with her. Then he reached out, his fingers brushing her arm. Michaela's eyes were huge and anxious as she shivered. Ianto drew in a deep breath.

Then he took her hand.

* * *

Please see above Author Note for full rant.

Night's Darkness


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

_(16 September 2008)_

Ianto wandered around the downstairs of his house, restless, bored and irritated. He didn't like the fact that Michaela, who was supposed to be here for him, was gonna be spending most of her time in Cardiff with the Torchwood team, picking them apart, piece by piece. Why couldn't Archie have done it? Why her? She was here for him, because he'd asked her to come.

Finally fed up with his own foul mood, he stomped up the stairs and went into the bathroom, where Michaela was having her shower. The steam hit his face and he blinked through it to see her silhouette through the blue shower curtain. Like a sixteen year old boy, Ianto grinned. Then remembered all the jokes Jack had made about silhouettes and the naughty fun to be had with them. He shuddered. Thinking about Jack reminded him about being locked up and about… two nights ago. It made him feel ill, so he quickly refocused.

"Michaela."

Michaela's silhouette started and then she said, sounding exasperated,

"You are making a bad habit of this!"

Ianto smirked, "Yup!" recalling the other times he'd walked in on her in the shower or changing.

"What is it?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to do anything today?"

"What? You wanna play tour guide for once? Ianto, I'm not here for a holiday."

"Yeah, I know. You're here to review the team." Ianto grimaced at how sulky he sounded. Michaela poked her head around the curtain, her hair covered in suds.

"Ok, that is unfair. I came down here for you, to help you. It's not my fault I've been ordered to review Torchwood Three. So don't get sulky with me."

Ianto blinked, surprised. He wasn't used to her telling him off like that. Usually she changed the subject. Michaela ducked back under the stream of water.

"Look, I just, I just don't want to stay cooped up in the house today. I want to go out."

"Well… ok, but you are not getting out of this Ianto."

"I'm not five Michaela." Ianto closed the lid of his toilet and sat down. Michaela huffed at the sound,

"Can't this wait until after I'm finished in here? You know I don't like people in the bathroom with me."

"I thought that was just baths."

"Out Ianto!"

Grumbling, Ianto went and sat on the floor outside the bathroom. About five minutes later, Michaela came out and gave a shriek of surprise when she saw him.

"Feck's sake Ianto! You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry." Ianto wasn't really that sorry. At least now she was looking at him. Michaela sighed, rubbing a towel over her hair, then draping it over one shoulder.

"Look how about we go somewhere like Cardiff Castle?"

"That's indoors. I don't want to be inside."

"We could walk the grounds."

"There's nothing to see."

"We're not looking to go sightseeing."

"Then why'd you suggested a tourist attraction?"

"Because it probably won't be crowded at this time of year. That way we can walk and talk."

"Would rather go the beach." Ianto muttered, stretching his foot out and prodding her damp toes. Michaela, who up until then had looked mildly exasperated, now looked a little hurt.

"I don't like open water Ianto. You know that."

Crap. Ianto had almost forgotten that. The unsaid name hung between them. Even now, she was still afraid. For some reason, that disappointed Ianto. He'd hoped she'd be over her old hang ups. His feelings must have shown on his face, because Michaela sighed and said,

"Ok. The beach. But we're bringing a warm drink and I'm not going near the water."

Grinning at his victory, Ianto stood up and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. Michaela, of course, reciprocated. Still smiling, Ianto went to get the things ready. Michaela went to get dressed, a frown on her face.

~*~

_(16 September 2008)_

Rhys watched as his fiancé paced about their apartment, gathering her things together in between furious rants about some bitch who was trying to ruin everything for her team. Rhys hadn't bothered to suggest that reviews like the one she'd blustered about made sense when it came to organisations like Torchwood who had a lot of powers. Not again anyway. His ears still rung from a few hours ago.

Gwen had said that if they failed the review they could be imprisoned, but Rhys was sure –and hoped like hell- that was an overreaction. Surely Gwen couldn't be imprisoned, she'd done nothing that could merit it. She was too good. As for her teammates, aside from Harkness, who annoyed the shit out of him just by breathing, they seemed ok. Harper had been a bit funny at first around him, but that had past. So the chances of them having done anything truly bad enough to merit imprisonment didn't seem likely. But Rhys knew better than to say that, just as he didn't say that Gwen was acting like a teenager in trouble with a teacher and blaming the teacher for not 'getting' her. Didn't seem worth the tongue lashing.

~*~

_(16 September 2008)_

It was cold at the beach, but both of them were used to cold. Glasgow, after all, was no sunny paradise. The tide was out, the wind was biting, the smell of sewage and salt stung the nose and the sand was sticky. Ianto grinned at the feeling of the air on his face, drawing in a deep breath of satisfaction. Michaela got out of her car and stuck her hands in her coat pockets. Within minutes her cheeks were pink from the cold. Ianto lost the feeling in his nose.

"See, it's not so bad." he teased, holding out his hand to her. For a moment, it looked like she wouldn't take his hand, but then her shoulders dropped and she entwined her warm fingers with his cold ones. Tugging, Ianto pulled her close, looking into her face, trying to get her to smile with him. after some face pulling, he got a small smile, and pulled her down to the beach, jumping on the sand with a splat. "C'mon!" He started towards the water, but Michaela dug her heels in.

"No Ianto! I said I don't want to go near the water."

"It's not deep 'kaela. Barely an inch for ages out."

"I don't care, Ianto stop!"

Ianto stopped, turning to her. And immediately felt bad, when he saw the fear in her eyes. Letting her hand go, he cupped her cheek and kissed her lips, then put his arms around her. A silent apology. Michaela's arms went his waist, squeezing in acceptance. Still holding her, Ianto mumbled,

"You wanna go?"

"Michaela didn't answer right away. Finally, "No. No, you wanted to come here, so we'll stay here if that's what you need. But I'm not going any closer to the water. Ok?"

Ianto nodded, his face still buried in her hair. They stood like this for some time, enough time to get very cold, just listening to the gulls and waves and wind. Then Ianto spoke gently into her ear,

"Can we walk for a bit?"

"Of course."

This time, Michaela took his hand.

~*~

_(14__th__ March 2005)_

When Jack woke up at about five, having fallen asleep at half three, he was alone in his bed. But a quick look around told him his mouse hadn't gone far. Her clothes were still strewn across the floor. Stretching, and feeling the satisfying ache of well used muscles, he got out of bed and walked to the bathroom door. It was the only place she could be. He opened it without knocking. It was his room.

Michaela jumped, pulling the sheet tighter around her. She was sitting on the covered toilet, and blushed as she realised Jack was naked. Jack cocked his head to the side, noting that she'd clearly been thinking, rather than actually using the bathroom. Probably having that silly panic about what people will think about the fact that she slept with him. Jack was pretty sure they'd be envious.

"There you are." he said unnecessarily.

"Uh… hi!" Michaela stood up, pulling the sheet tighter around herself.

"Is that really needed?" Jack gave her a cheeky grin, gesturing to the sheet.

"I was cold."

"Then you should have come back to be. I'd have warmed you up in no time."

"That's corny." she mumbled, tugging at the sheet self-consciously, eyes on the ground. God, but she had a confidence issue. Jack hoped it wouldn't interfere too much in the week's fun. He just grinned at her, holding out his hand.

"Hey, if it works, don't knock it."

Michaela let him pull her back to bed, letting the sheet fall off her as Jack coaxed her to lie back, rubbing circles onto her stomach. Her eyes flicked to the ceiling, becoming focused on that, until Jack started to follow his fingers with his tongue. Her breathing hitched and she stared at him, wide-eyed. She kept doing that, as if everything he did surprised her. The first time she'd come, she'd been so caught off guard she'd nearly head-butted him. The second time, she'd giggled almost hysterically as she came down, pulling Jack to her and asking for more. Jack had been more than happy to oblige.

Now, Jack pulled her on top of his chest and gently guided her mouth along his neck and torso, quick to let her know when she did the right thing. Her touch was skittish, light, nervous. But Jack had learned patience after all these years of waiting for the Doctor. Now he'd gotten the mouse in his bed, he was willing to teach her some skills. Whoever her ex on the phone was, he'd probably been a bad lover. Considering how young she was, no more than 21, it was possible that they'd both just been clueless virgins with no imagination. Jack really didn't care, seeing as it just gave him the opportunity to really show off his experience to someone who was a novice, but mercifully not a virgin –the 21st century had just as many hang-ups about virginity as any other century before them, they were just a little different.

"You're a very quick learner." Jack murmured, as he pulled Michaela's head up so he could nibble at her lip.

"Um… thanks." Michaela blushed again. The blush only deepened when Jack pressed his hand flat to her stomach and started downwards. She buried her face in the curve of his neck, hiding there as she whimpered. Jack chuckled, wondering just how red he could make her go.

~*~

_(16 September 2008)_

Tosh rarely drank, but she needed something to soothe her terror. She still had nightmares about those hellish weeks in that tiny room. It was no coincidence that her apartment had as few doors as possible and was open planned. Her claustrophobia was something she'd battled with for almost five years now.

Five years. Her time as a 'forced' employee of Torchwood was almost over. She'd be able to choose if she wanted to be a part of Torchwood anymore. She'd be able to see her mother again. God how she missed her mother. Missed the feel of her arms around her, missed the smell of her jumpers –she always wore the same perfume for as long as Toshiko could remember. The little things were always what you missed the most.

Five years were almost up. The sun was almost at the horizon of a new start in her life. And now it could all be snatched away, just out of reach. Tosh downed her straight vodka. So close and she might end up right back at the beginning, where her life ended. Another drink. Fear was giving way to anger. This wasn't fair. She'd done nothing. Why was she being punished for Owen and Jack's stupidity, for Ianto's issues, for a man she'd never met's vicious, evil actions? More drink.

Ianto had brought this down on her. If he hadn't called that woman… but Jack should never have locked Ianto up… but he wouldn't have if Ianto hadn't gone out that night… which he wouldn't have done if Jack and Owen hadn't gone after Ivor… which they never would have done if Ivor had been a decent human being. Just another cycle of human stupidity, cruelty, lack of foresight… Damnit!

Tosh threw her glass at the wall, where it shattered into tiny piece of crystal. Letting out a frustrated, pained scream, she collapsed on her couch and curled up into a tight ball. She buried her face into her knees and sobbed. It wasn't fair!

And out of the blue, Tosh hated Ianto and Owen's mother for not seeing the monster Ivor was. How could she not see what he was doing to her son? Toshiko's mother would never have let someone like that near her daughter.

God, Toshiko missed her mum.

~*~

_(16 September 2008)_

Glen Miller throbbed through the Hub as Jack went back and forth from the Archives with heavy steps. He was slowly gathering all the records, forms, reports, anything that dated from 1st January 2000 to the present. He felt too weary to fight the orders, the command to comply, so he just got what Michaela would need.

The thought had occurred to him to call Archie, try to explain the situation. But where the hell would he begin? Besides, since the last time he'd met him face to face, the big, loud, Scotsman, that same week he'd gotten Micka-Mouse into bed, the two had drifted apart. Jack had gotten tired of Archie calling like an exasperated parent, telling him he had to be more discreet, more secretive about Torchwood, more pre-emptive in stopping alien attacks. The calls had started between two to three years after he'd taken over, getting much worse after London had fallen.

After Canary Warf, Archie effectively became the head of Torchwood as after Yvonne, he'd been the highest ranking employee, due to the length of time he'd been head of Two. He'd also become increasingly short with Jack, although quite why that had occurred was a mystery that Jack had no interest in solving at the moment.

Almost nine years of records, all painstakingly organised by Ianto, covered the table in the old board room. As he divided them by year, he realised that the first five stacks were covered in small, neat, blue writing. Michaela's. The other four; elegant black writing. Ianto's.

In a sudden rush of recognition, Jack grabbed a file from each division, and flipped them open. It didn't matter what they said, but how they said it. And under his hands, Jack saw it. The writing was different, but the organisation of the reports, the manner, was almost identical. And since Jack was sure Michaela was the longer serving employee of the two, it meant that she must have trained Ianto in Torchwood Archiving.

It also meant –there was no point in doubting it- that the guy Jack could remember calling 'asshole-ex' was the same man he'd shared a bed with. The same man he loved. How could it be that the two were one and the same? Jack groaned and wondered if knew anything about the real Ianto.

~*~

_(16__th__ September 2008)_

Coming back from the beach, Ianto knew Michaela wanted him to talk. And he knew he had to, eventually. But it was too raw, too painful even to think about it. What he'd done to Ivor, to Jack, what Jack had done to him, and the humiliation of Gwen and Tosh knowing the truth about him. To say nothing about Owen!

So he decided to say. "How's Dubhtach?"

"As big as ever. Archie keeps texting me, demanding to know much he has to feed her."

"Bet she's as trusting as ever."

"How many times do I have to tell you she's not a guard dog?"

"But you said her breed was related to the old guard dogs of the Romans."

"Yeah, and a Chihuahua is related to a wolf if you go back far enough."

Ianto laughed, "Can't imagine Ms. Hilton carrying on of those around."

Michaela smiled, "Yeah…" The smile fell, "Ianto-"

"Wanna get something to eat?"

Clearly frustrated by his deliberate cut off, Michaela folded her arms and shrugged,

"Whatever."

Ianto sighed, then abruptly pulled over. He turned the car off and twisted in his seat to face her.

"Ok, look. I know you want me to talk. I know you want to help. I know I asked you for help, but I cannot deal with everything yet. I've told you what happened but I can't –can't face it all yet."

"So what do you want me to do?"

Ianto swallowed, reaching out and linking fingers with her. It took him a while to answer, but Michaela was patient with him. It was something she'd had to learn to be. At last Ianto said, so quietly she almost missed it,

"I just need you to let me pretend none of it happened. Just let it be us, no one else. Just for a while 'kaela, let it be like it used to. Before this, before Canary Warf, before Lisa and London, just us."

"Are you really that afraid of facing your own life?"

Ianto considered it, his thumb passing over her skin, feeling the roughness of the skin pad move across her slightly dry skin. Then surprise evident on his face, Ianto said in wonderment. "Yes."

Michaela stared at him, her expression showing nothing but sadness.

"Ok. It's just us."

"Thanks."

"So… food?"

Ianto kissed her cheek.

~*~

_(16__th__ September 2008)_

Jack wandered through the streets, eyes following the couples that wondered by him. Usually he just saw couples of men and women, which reminded him of Gwen and Rhys. He hoped things were better between them now that Rhys knew about Torchwood and what they did. Jack knew Gwen was livid about this whole thing and he could only hope that Rhys could calm her down.

And every time Jack saw two men together, he missed Ianto. He missed how things used to be. He missed chatting to Ianto, missed smiling with Ianto, missed sitting with him, missed sleeping with him. But Jack knew that if he saw Ianto now, he probably wouldn't be able to keep his temper. Under all his upset, he was also very angry. Angry at Ianto, himself, Owen, Archie, Michaela, angry at the whole situation.

As Jack walked down a street lined with restaurants, he noticed a familiar car. It was Ianto's car, the one he'd bought at Torchwood's expense after John had committed suicide in his old one. Jack had insisted, Ianto hadn't objected and between them the brand new backseat had needed steam cleaning within a week. Now it was parked outside a small Thai restaurant.

Jack peered into the windows from across the road. His eyes narrowed as he spotted Ianto with Michaela at a secluded table. They were talking and smiling, giving each other their full attention. Jack narrowed his eyes. Clearly they'd restored their relationship since Jack had met her.

Ianto said something, and Michaela laughed into her plate. She seemed less confident than she had this morning, and when Ianto looked up at a waiter, her expression softened into something else. Jack snorted. That was the clearest expression of love-sickness he'd ever seen. Well, lucky Ianto, getting all the love and none of the hate.

As soon as Jack thought that, he walked away. Thinking like that would get them nowhere. In fact, thinking, acting on such thoughts, would just make things so much worse.

Although just how it could be worse Jack didn't want to consider.

* * *

Ok, I know a few people were concerned that the story has slowed down, so I just want to assure you that things are going to pick up now. It just had to all be established. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Night's Darkness


	23. Chapter 23

I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone for being so supportive in this fic. You've all been a great help in it becoming… a lot more than I planned. Lol.

Enjoy!!

* * *

**Chapter 23**

_(17__th __September 2008)_

**8.30am**

Ianto nibbled on his toast, ignoring Bart's nibbling on the frayed end of his jeans in a rabbity form of begging, and grumbling at the idea of having to keep himself occupied all day alone. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Michaela would be gone until about 5 when she'd finally come back and then she'd probably be too tired to do things with him.

Ok, Ianto knew he sounded like a sulky five year old, but it was better than a pain filled adult. And Michaela understood that. She'd seen it before.

"Ok, I'll try to be back before 5 if I can." said Michaela as she came into the kitchen and picked up the coffee Ianto had promised her. Ianto dropped his toast as he stared at her. Bart pounced on it, scratching it to pieces before devouring it.

Michaela didn't look like his Michaela. Her hair was in an elegant, sleek chiffon, and she'd put on simple make-up. Her clothes were tailored to fit her perfectly, pinstripe, high-waisted skirt, pistachio shirt and pinstripe jacket. She looked like a professional business woman. That wasn't how she was meant to look. She was meant to look soft, gentle and casual. It was how Ianto always saw her. He never wanted to see her in the same style as Yvonne Hartman, ever!

Michaela caught him looking and looked down at herself in confusion.

"What's up?"

"It's just… different." Ianto managed to say. He didn't add that he didn't like different on her. She wasn't ever meant to change. She stayed the same.

"Good different or bad different?" Michaela looked worried now, less sure of her outfit. Ianto half wanted to say 'bad' and ask her to change into her normal clothes. But he knew she'd never forgive him if he tried to tell her how to dress.

"It's… different. Not used to seeing you in a suit."

"Back at you. And yet you wear them all the time to work."

"Fair point. But you don't have to for the Hub."

"I need to look professional. I have to get the message across that this is serious."

"Ok. If you say so."

Michaela sighed, walked over to him and kissed his brow. "Try not to climb the walls while I'm gone. And if you need me, call me. I'm here for you, remember."

Ianto smiled a little and cupped her neck with one hand, holding her, brow to brow against him. "I know." He sniffed her perfume, it was the same as it had been when he'd bought the first bottle for her.

She smiled, closing her eyes for a moment and sighing contentedly. Then, with a reluctant noise, she pulled away.

"I have to go. Why don't you read another book?"

"What is it with you and me reading?"

"You're always complaining your job doesn't allow you the fun of reading. Take advantage of your chance now. I bet you can't read all three Lord of the Rings books before I'm back."

"You're on!"

Michaela giggled and grabbed her laptop bag, "See ye later!"

"Bye!" Ianto grabbed his coffee cup and went into his sitting room, pulling out the Fellowship of the Ring and settling down to read. As he reached the Council of Elrond, he dozed off.

_(2__nd__ December 2002)_

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Ianto fiddled with his paper coffee cup, nervous about asking this, but it kept bugging him. Michaela waited, a small smile on her lips.

"You remember the night I… the night we met."

"Of course."

"Well… I was just… it's stupid, but I-"

"Spill Welshman!"

"You don't seem to be the kind of person who would wear the clothes you were wearing that night. You always wear jeans and t-shirts and comfy stuff. So… why were you in all that…"

"Slut stuff." offered Michaela, giving a bitter smile.

"For lack of a better term, yeah."

Michaela gave a soft, humourless chuckle, looking into her coffee cup before meeting his eyes. "Blaine would make me dress like that. Said it was the way I should look. The way all girls should look. Easy access for him and all that. I hated it. I don't like wearing make up or skirts or anything like that. What I wear now is what I like. I like being comfy and practical."

"Ok… please don't take this the wrong way, but… what the fuck made you stay with him?"

"Like I told you before. Fear."

"Yeah but… how?"

Michaela looked away. Ianto sighed and reached out, touching her hand without thinking. They both looked surprised at the action. Ianto grit his teeth mentally and didn't pull away. He knew that he needed to break his cycle and hate for touch, and between them they'd agreed to try and get used to touching each other, before trying anyone else. Ianto hadn't asked just how far the touching would go.

"I just… I just want to understand why you didn't just leave that first morning."

Michaela closed her eyes, and her fingers twitched under his. "Because he wouldn't let me. He kept me in his apartment for five days, and he broke me down until I just gave in. He made me tell Archie I was sick for the week. I couldn't leave. I tried, but he just… he just…" Trembling, she pulled her hand away and covered her face, crying into them. Ianto drew away, feeling unbearably uncomfortable. He knew he should try to comfort her, but damned if he knew how. Others in the café he worked in were staring at them, and their eyes were narrowed at him. They thought it was his fault and that he should be making her stop. Even his co-workers were staring. Ianto flushed in embarrassment.

Leaning forward, he said softly, "Don't cry, please stop crying."

Michaela peeked at him through her fingers and then dragged her fingers over her face, wiping away tears.

"S-sorry."

"It's ok. Don't worry about it." Ianto reached out again, this time feeling very awkward and patted her shoulder like a child. Michaela wiped her face again and then hiccupped a laugh.

"You look so uncomfortable."

"I'm really, really bad at this." admitted Ianto, glad she'd stopped.

"It's ok. You're trying. That's enough."

"Hmm."

"Um… Ianto?"

"Yeah."

"I… I need to ask you something."

"Sure. Go on. Will it make me cry, because we'll need more napkins if that's the case."

Michaela smiled, looking nervous. "I don't think so. Would… would you be willing to testify against Blaine at the trial."

Ianto snatched his hand back, looking alarmed, "You mean… like in front of a jury and judge and… and loads of people?"

"Yeah. You don't have to. The bruises and everything is pretty damning evidence for the bastard. But… you're the only one who ever really saw him… doing that stuff. S-so it would be a real boost, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

"Yeah. Ok."

"You'll do it?"

"Yeah. I… I don't want the guy to get off. One of us shouldn't have to worry about… about that stuff coming back."

"Oh Ianto…" Michaela squeezed his hand, then pressed it to her cheek. "I could help you maybe."

"How? All you've got is my word."

"Yeah. But Torchwood has access to every file in the world. We could try to convict him that way, find stuff out."

Ianto narrowed his eyes, considering it. Then he shook his head.

"No."

"Why not? Don't you want-"

"I don't want to bring it all up again. I just… I want to put it behind me and move on and a trial like that would take months, and besides, Ivor was a Chief of Police in the village. No one would dare say a word against him."

"If you're sure…"

"I am. But thank you for the offer."

It was better to keep it all in the past. Ianto was sure it would only make his life worse if he brought it all up again. Besides, there was a chance his brother might find out. Ianto didn't want Owen to ever know the truth. His reaction would be unbearable.

~*~

_(17__th__ September 2008)_

**8.45am**

Jack stood in his office, looking out over the Hub, waiting for his team to arrive. Waiting for his judgement to arrive.

Tosh arrived first. It was plain as day that she'd not slept. Jack didn't blame her. She actually knew what it would be like if they were locked up. Jack prayed she'd be spared that pain. Maybe she'd be shown mercy on account of her good work in Torchwood.

Michaela arrived at 9am, and Gwen and Owen weren't there yet. Jack groaned inwardly. Last thing they needed was to look sloppy, for God's sake.

Michaela looked around and flashed Tosh a small smile of greeting. Tosh gave her a wary look. Michaela quickly looked around and spotted Jack staring down at her. Squaring her shoulders, she made straight for his office. Jack watched her, noting that she was better dressed than the last time he'd seen her. The clothes fitted her better, and there was more colour. At once, Jack remembered noting the same thing with Ianto after Lisa as Ianto had grown in confidence. Michaela gave a cursory knock before entering.

"Captain Harkness."

"Ms. Murphy." Jack didn't turn to look at her, instead he watched as Gwen rushed in, and swore as she spotted Michaela already there. Jack saw her say 'bloody traffic' to Tosh as she sat down at her desk.

"Have you done as the review guidelines request?"

"Yes. Everything's been put out for you. We are an open book to you."

Michaela sighed and Jack sensed she wanted to say something. But all she said was, "Where am I set up?"

"I'll show you." Jack stepped away from the window and strode past her without looking at her. If he had he'd have seen her roll her eyes and follow him while shaking her head.

"Are you just gonna ignore me for this whole thing like you're five? Because really, that'll get old very fast."

"Oh, look at you, making friends already."

"Ah, yes, I forgot you found my mousey-silence cute."

Jack paused, mid-way up the stairs, and twisted at the waist to look at her. Her green eyes, once wide, anxious and lonely, now had a challenge in them. Jack stepped closer, glaring down at her.

"Listen to me Ms. Murphy. I don't want you here. My team doesn't want you here. This review will not scare us like you clearly want, and just because-"

"Can you walk and talk please? I'd like to get started."

Jack inwardly fumed and turned away, stomping up the stairs. In doing so, he missed Michaela letting out a sigh of relief.

"Here. It's all yours."

"Thank you Captain." Michaela stepped by him, and Jack caught a whiffed of her perfume. Same as before, and he remembered that otherwise –or perhaps inclusive- unremarkable week. He wondered where the mouse had gone. Michaela scanned the paper-covered table with a weary face. Jack smirked,

"Enjoy Ms. Murphy."

"Cheers." she mumbled. Jack closed the door with a little more force than was necessary.

~*~

**12.30pm **

It was like a red-haired pink elephant was trumpeting in a corner of the Hub, and they were all ignoring it.

Owen had come in at 10.15 and Jack had bitten his head off about it. Owen had roared back and then gone to sulk in the Autopsy Bay. As the day edged slowly along, Michaela's phone kept ringing. The first time Jack had assumed it was Ianto, but Michaela had frowned and gotten harassed-looking as she spoke. When the phone had rung again, the ringtone was different. When Michaela answered, Jack heard her say, "Yes Mr. President." and realised she was dealing with various –and as it turned out, relentless –politicians, as well as surveying their reports. God only knew how long this would take. So Jack came to a decision.

"Tosh! Can you come here a sec?"

"Sure Jack." Tosh went into his office. "What is it?"

"Can you sort out lunch for today?"

"Sure, of course."

"Don't forget to ask Michaela what she wants."

Tosh gave him a curious look, Jack explained, "It looked like this could take a while. There's no point in ignoring her or treating her badly for days. It certainly won't help case and if she tells Ianto…"

"He'll be less inclined to make up."

"Yeah, exactly."

Tosh smiled, a mixture of sympathy and pride.

"Chinese?"

"Please."

~*~

Tosh got Jack, Gwen and Owen's orders and then went up the stairs, willing her face to stay neutral as she knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Michaela looked up and smiled in greeting as Tosh entered the room. "Toshiko, what can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering what you want for lunch. We're having Chinese."

Michaela's smile widened, "Cantonese sweet and sour chicken please."

"Ok. I'll just go order it."

"Thanks. And thanks for the reminder!" Michaela flipped open her phone.

"Reminder?"

"I've gotta make sure Ianto eats and Archie remembered to feed himself and my dog. The two are hopeless about caring for themselves, y'know?" Michaela grinned at Tosh as she dialled, like they were sharing a private joke. But Tosh couldn't bring herself to smile. This woman could send her back to the UNIT prison. There was no way Tosh could befriend her, even if she was important to Ianto. Making an excuse, Tosh quickly beat a retreat.

~*~

**12.40pm**

Ianto jumped awake as his pocket started vibrating. Groaning, he fished his phone out. It was Michaela. Smiling sleepily, he answered,

"'lo?"

"You were asleep, weren't you? I knew you couldn't read all three in a day!"

"I'm at the Council of Elrond." pouted Ianto, grinning.

"It's one in the afternoon Welshman! Colour me unimpressed."

"Colour you the Irish flag then?"

"Oi! And there's me calling to make sure you get up and eat something."

"Ugh. Ok, I'll get up. If you promise to make dinner. I feel like 'kaela curry."

"Well, we'll see lazy bones. I might be too knackered to bother. Feckin' politics!"

"They're not calling you while you're working, are they?"

"What do you think?"

"How're the team being?"

"Ignoring me for the most part. Tosh hates me."

"Tosh doesn't hate anyone."

"We both know she's every reason to."

"Even so, Tosh is too caring to hate."

"Hrm, if you say so… anyway, I'd better go. Archie needs a reminder and then I gotta eat."

"Ok. Bye!"

Ianto hung up and heaved himself into a sitting position, not realising that Bart had been lying on his chest. The little bunny tumbled down onto his lap and glared up at Ianto.

"Sorry boy. 'kaela says I gotta eat. Off we go!"

~*~

"Hey Tosh. How come we got food for five? There's only four of us." Owen eyed the extra food with narrowed eyes.

"Owen, don't pretend you don't know she's here. The food's for her."

"Why're we feeding that bitch?"

"Jack wants us to act like adults for once. That means being civil to her."

Owen snorted, "If Jack wants to be butter her up to get a good review, then he can go and fuck her, not bribe her with fucking food."

"Ahem!"

Owen and Tosh turned to face Jack, feeling like naughty children. Jack gave Owen a baleful look as he grabbed his own food.

"Not everything can be fixed by sticking a cock in it, haven't you learned that Owen?"

Owen growled. Then glanced at Michaela's food. He waited until Tosh and Jack had gone back to their work stations, then yanked open the plastic box. Everyone was so busy ignoring the others, they missed him grabbing the salt…

Owen was sitting on the couch by the time Michaela came down nattering on the phone.

"–no don't give her that! Because it'll make her sick. Well do you want a sick dog on your hands?... Then don't feed her that ye silly Scotsman! I gotta go –Yeah I will –ok, ok bye!"

Hanging up and putting her phone away, Michaela grabbed the remaining food and popped the top, grinning at the smell. Owen was grinning too. The Irishwoman pulled out a piece of chicken and popped into her mouth, chewing. And then she spat it out into the sink with a noise of disgust.

"Oh that's just wrong." she declared, wiping her mouth.

"I ordered what you asked for." said Tosh, trying not to sound defensive.

"Nah, you did. But someone cover in enough salt to send me into a coma. Yuk!"

Jack's eyes narrowed and he glared at Owen, who tried to look innocent. He probably failed. Michaela washed her mouth out and then dumped the food. Tosh, worried she'd count it against the team, got to her feet.

"I could reorder for you."

"Oh no, it's grand. I'll run out and get something myself." As she head back to the boardroom, she threw Jack a withering look, "I'd have expected better of you Jack."

Jack's noodles dropped from his mouth as he gaped at her. Nothing was said until Michaela had gotten her purse and left. Then Jack leapt to his feet.

"OWEN!"

Owen cringed like a boy who was in trouble with his dad.

"It was a joke." he mumbled.

"No. It was sheer stupidity." snapped Tosh. "Do you really think messing with her food will do us any good?"

"I'm not gonna let her destroy us without a fight."

"Then fight!" shrieked Gwen, "But don't play stupid pranks on her. Why are you poking the angry bear? You'll just aggravate her, and if she blabs to Ianto, he's going to be pushed further away. Is that what you want?"

"No!"

"Then bloody grown up Owen Harper. For God's sake, have you learned nothing from any of this?"

"You never learn, do you Owen." growled Jack.

"Will you all just fuck off and leave me alone!" roared Owen, getting to his feet and storming out of the Hub. If he stayed any long he'd grab a gun and shoot someone, or maybe just himself. Anything to be left alone and not be glared at like everything was his fault. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen. Yes, ok, salting the ginger's food had been petty, but she'd no right coming in and making them jump through hoops.

"Damnit Ianto! How could you do this to us?" he demanded into the empty Bay. As he stormed how, he was unaware of a pair of green eyes watching him with an expression torn between pity and satisfaction.

~*~

**4.45pm**

When Michaela had returned, newspaper wrapped chips in hand, she'd definitely noted Owen's absence, but hadn't commented. All she'd done was recheck her phone for messages, probably making sure she'd not missed any from Ianto.

The afternoon passed slowly, no one really speaking and at 4.30 Gwen had given up and went home to Rhys. Tosh waited 10 minutes for Jack to dismiss her. Jack watched her go and then glanced up at the boardroom. Michaela was still working, nose buried in a report. Huffing, Jack decided he didn't want her here when it was just him. It made him nervous, because he didn't trust himself not to do something stupid, like yell at her. Or possibly try to seduce her. Something told him Ianto would not appreciate that.

With a grunt, Jack strode up the stairs and shoved the door open with a bang.

"Closing time Ms. Murphy!"

Michaela jumped and the report seemed to leap out of her hands in shock. Jack gave her a huge cheeky grin, like the kind he'd given her three years ago to get her to have sex with him in the ladies bathroom, even after she'd gone in there to yell at him. Michaela glared at him. Jack just said, "I'm closing shop. Out you go."

"Charming as ever, eh Jack?"

"Oh I try." Jack strolled to the table edge and leaned over it, looking at her with a near predatory eye. "Day's over, nearly 5 o'clock. Time to go."

Michaela checked the time, then sighed, beginning to gather her things.

"Guess I should go. Ianto'll want dinner. I promised him his favourite… do I need to stop at the shops?" Jack realised with a jolt that Michaela was thinking out loud and not to him. Still it felt like she was rubbing his face in the ashes of his relationship with Ianto and flaunting her own. But he also realised that she was probably his best chance at reconciling with Ianto.

"So… how long do you think this review will take?"

Michaela glanced up, seemingly noticing his conversational tone, and being bewildered by it.

"Could take a week, maybe two. It's got to be done quick enough though."

"Well… considering how quick you went through all our records last time… I'd say you'll be done in no time." Jack softened his voice, letting it rumble a little. Michaela looked up sharply.

"Just because I'll the review done doesn't mean I'll be leave. I'm here for Ianto. To take care of him, help him fix himself after all the shite you and his bloody brother put him through."

Jack narrowed his eyes, "Why do you care? He's the guy you pined over like a pathetic idiot all the week you spent in my bed trying to feel better about yourself."

"Don't you talk about that week! Not like that. And if you had even the faintest idea what Ianto and my relationship is like, you wouldn't dare ask me that!" Michaela swung the bag-strap over her shoulder, "You know, I'd have thought you'd have been smart enough to try and be nice enough to try and at least wheedle your way back into Ianto's good books. Now get out of my way!"

Michaela shoved past Jack and strode to the cogwheel door. Jack couldn't resist one last parting shot.

"Hey! You still afraid of baths?"

Michaela stopped, turning on the spot to stare at him in horror. Jack reckoned she'd look the same if he slapped her face. For a moment he felt satisfied. But as Michaela turned back and all but fled from the Hub, that feeling vanished and his mouth tasted of ashes. That was a low blow, even for him.

"Owen's rubbing off on me. First time that's sounded like a bad thing."

* * *

Comments are love!

Night's Darkness


	24. Chapter 24

Ok, this is a shorter chapter than normal, but it was originally too long, so I took out the long Christmas part I'd written. I also took it out because I felt it slowed the fic down, which some people have been commenting on, as I asked them to if it happened. So I hope this will satisfy you and chapter 25 will be up soon.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 24**

_(17__th__ September 2008)_

"5!"

**_Dhun!_**

"4!"

_**Dhun!**_

"3!"

**_Dhun!_**

"2!"

**_Dhun!_**

"1! Thunderbirds are Go!"

Owen sipped at his beer as he immersed himself in a Thunderbirds marathon on a Sci-fi channel. Not even his bad mood could stop him from enjoying the various methods the Tracy brothers used to board their ships. Thunderbird 2 was his favourite. What he wouldn't give to be able to descend into the SUV like that just once. Plus his inner six year old, no matter how bedraggled and damaged by cynicism and beer, gave an excited coo at all the explosions. That inner child was more than happy to believe that concrete spontaneously exploded into flames as it crumbled under the heavy weight of a rocket.

The best thing about it was that no one ever died in Thunderbirds.

'_If only Torchwood could be more like that,' _he thought,_ 'Although, that would probably mean that Ianto would be Parker, which would make Jack Lady Penelope, which is an image I __**don't**__ need!' _

Owen shook his head to get the picture out of his head. As Scott, the pilot of Thunderbird 1 insisted on secrecy, Owen snorted,

"They fly around in great big ships and rockets, with a fucking space station in orbit and a yellow submarine and they're still better at keeping their organisation a secret. Must be fun to be a puppet."

He'd had quite a few drinks by now.

As a child, Owen had loved Thunderbirds and, when he was old enough to actually watch a TV show, he'd gotten Ianto just as addicted to it. Although, in the beginning, the explosions had scared him. But he'd loved the Thunderbirds. Thunderbird 3 had been his favourite. Then again, anything red Ianto had loved. Still did if Owen recalled rightly. If his memory served, he'd overheard Jack saying something about Ianto and red to Tosh, to which she'd replied,

"Well, it is his favourite colour."

"And it's my favourite on him." Jack had replied. Owen could remember feeling ill at the sentimental twaddle. Now he just felt bed for screwing up what had been a good thing.

Reaching out to the wooden box that bore his name –which hadn't left his coffee table since he'd pulled it out. Ianto's rested next to it. –Owen fumbled inside it until he pulled out a small, red rocket. It was just like the one coming onscreen –Owen gave the universe credit for appropriate timing- except the rubbery tip of the toy had been heavily chewed by a certain fucked up Welshman when he was still breaking in his milk teeth. Owen remembered Ianto had also swallowed one of Thunderbird 2's carrier boxes. Owen was pretty sure it was number 3. He'd been so mad at Ianto for doing that. Ianto had cried. Same old, same old really.

Owen stared at the red rocket, then glanced at the boxes. Coming to a decision, Owen sat up and rooted through his box with one hand, while emptying Ianto's carefully. If he'd glanced at Doctor Bear he might have though the bear's stitched smile widened for a moment.

When he was done, Owen wondered when the best time to go through with his idea was. Tonight? Maybe it was best to get it over with. But it was late enough that the ginger was probably back at Ianto's house and Owen didn't want her interfering. So he'd do it tomorrow.

Besides, Owen took another sip of beer, this was an awesome episode.

~*~

_(17__th__ September 2008)_

Ianto smelled cake. Chocolate cake. Baking.

He opened his eyes, realising he'd fallen asleep again. He couldn't figure out why he was so tired. Maybe his body was catching up on all the sleep he'd missed because of Torchwood. Then he re-registered the smell of cake.

'Uh oh!'

Ianto knew that that particular smell only came around when Michaela was feeling particularly upset.

"Bloody Torchwood, what've they done now?"

Heaving himself to his feet, Ianto went into the kitchen. Michaela was chopping mushrooms, there was a cake in the oven, and her shoulders were tense. Ianto groaned inwardly. This was bad.

Coming up behind her, Ianto wrapped his arms around waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"Just had a long day. Don't worry about it."

"Michaela, the chocolate cake tells a different story, try again."

Michaela's hand tightened around the knife, then she slammed it down on the chopping board, sighing hard.

"It's… it's nothing really, I just don't like having to be the bad guy or fighting with Jack."

Ianto nodded, "I know how you feel about him. But this'll be over soon 'kaela, and then you and Jack can make up."

Michaela squeezed his hand. "I doubt Jack will want to make up with me until he's made up with you."

Ianto snorted, "That's not gonna happen soon."

Michaela groaned, "You can't ignore him forever."

"Yeah, well, I don't think right now, when they're expecting an anvil the size of Dublin to land on them courtesy of you is the best time for me to try and talk to him. I'm still angry about him locking me up, to say nothing about what he and Owen did with Ivor."

Michaela twisted in his grip, placing her hands on his shoulders for lack of anywhere else to put them.

"Can I at least tell them you're alive?"

"I thought you were mad at them for me too."

"I am, but I don't think sulking will help, and that's what you're doing."

Ianto huffed, "So why are you so upset at Jack? Was he sulky with you?"

"No, he just… it's just… it got under my skin today, the whole thing. Besides, your brother salted my lunch."

Ianto growled, "For fuck's sake Owen!"

"He's upset! And you have told me before he has the emotional range of a six year old. It was petty. I'm fine. He's not."

"You hate him!"

"So? He's your brother and he's hurt you this much because you still love him."

"Bullocks!" snapped Ianto, turning away. Michaela grit her teeth in frustration.

"How am I supposed to help you if you fight me every turn?"

"I told you I wanted to ignore it for a while."

Michaela opened her mouth to say something, but the oven beeped and she was distracted by it. Ianto left the room before she could turn back to him. He was frustrated by her refusal to let it be, infuriated by Owen's petty behaviour, and a little ashamed at his own moody behaviour. He knew he wasn't being fair, to anyone. But anytime he thought about the team, he was overwhelmed by rage and pain and he just couldn't deal with feeling that way to the team who he considered something of a family. Not when these emotions were too close to how he'd felt about Ivor.

Tearing his fingers through his hair, Ianto shuddered violently, and he scratched down his arm, bared by his t-shirt. The sensation helped ground him back into his own body, helped him feel less disjointed, centring him. He scratched again, watching the red jump out at him against the white skin. So little sunlight anymore, all his time spent in a hellhole, where he tried so hard to be in control, to keep things easy and good and happy and always where he failed.

"Ianto?"

Ianto spun around, panting hard. He registered her standing in front of him, and the next thing he knew he was shoving her against the wall, attacking her mouth, biting it open. Michaela yelped, more surprised than alarmed, but she was quick about pushing him back.

"Ianto, calm down."

Ianto kissed her hard again, not wanting to listen, not wanting to think.

"Ianto this is not a good idea." she tried again, but Ianto grabbed her hand, pulling it from his face and pressing it to his crotch. Then jumped away from her feeling like he'd been dumped in cold water.

"Fuck!"

Michaela pressed against the wall, wide eyed as Ianto curled over himself a little, looking at her in horror. This couldn't be happening.

"No! Fuck! Fuck, this can't be happening again. I can't –it just –I'M OVER THIS!!"

Ianto couldn't see properly, all he saw was anger. His hands grabbed things and threw them away, his feet kicked things, hurting his feet, making him angrier. He grabbed something big, flat, square and was about to throw it when it was yanked out of his hands.

With a snarl, Ianto whirled around to hit whoever had stopped him. Michaela collapsed to the ground with a shriek before he could touch her. But it still shook him out of his tantrum. The two stared at each other, both shaking and panting. Michaela held out the thing she'd grabbed out of his hands like a peace offering, her voice soft, nervous,

"You don't want this damaged, it's too special."

It was a photo of him and Lisa, smiling at each other, so happy and so in love.

Ianto's legs buckled as he took the picture, staring at it. He wanted to go back there, he was happy there. Everything had been good there.

Michaela crawled across the ground, so she was sitting next to him, wrapping her arms around her knees. They sat like that for a long time.

Finally, Ianto broke the silence.

"I was meant to be over this shit. And it's never been this bad, it's never been like that."

"No." agreed Michaela, "But maybe it's stronger because of… because you love Jack."

"I do-"

"You do. Even though you hate him right now, you love him. You hated Ivor, you always did. So… maybe because this time around, you turned sex into a weapon… not someone else… your body reacts more violently to touch."

"But I trust you. I love you." growled Ianto, still staring at the picture. "Why am I reacting like this with you?"

"I dunno. I'm not… it's not like I'm psychic or whatever. I'm just guessing here. But maybe we need to do what we did before. Take the time to touch and let ourselves get used to it."

"How did it… how did I get so bad 'kaela?"

With tentative fingers, Michaela took one of his hands. She pressed the back of his fingers to her cheek. Ianto closed his eyes, relishing the feel of warmth coming from the skin.

"You've been through so much Ianto. It's no surprise that it's all caught up on you. the important thing is to not fall back into old habits. So no more scratching, no more using sex as a weapon. If you want to get angry, get angry, but then let it go. Harbouring anger will make it worse."

Ianto nodded and leaned into her arms as she embraced him. tucking his head under her chin, he inhaled her smell and held on tight. He was about to fall asleep again, when Michaela shifted and said,

"C'mon, bed."

"Stay with me."

"Of course."

Ianto let her tug him up to bed and lay down, feeling exhausted. Michaela tucked him in, smoothing his hair, murmuring,

"I'll be right back."

Ianto watched her leave, then pulled out the stopwatch from its bedside drawer. He pressed the button and watched the hands twitch over the face. He became so focused on the passage of time, that he almost didn't register her return.

"Had to make sure nothing was left on that could start a fire."

She'd also changed into her pyjamas, Ianto noted, liking the big bunny on the t-shirt. Now she looked like his Michaela.

Michaela climbed under the covers and spooned Ianto wrapping her arm around his middle.

"'m not tired." mumbled Ianto. It was true. He was drained, but not tired. Michaela shifted so she was resting the side of her face on the side of his head, her lips close to his ear.

"Do you remember Christmas?"

Ianto's lips spread in a smile at once. "Of course. Best Christmas I'd ever had."

"Until I mucked it up, eh?"

"Even then, besides that was as much my fault as it was yours."

"You think?"

"I started it by kissing you, you reacted exactly as I should have expected."

"Shall we agree to blame the vodka?"

"Despite the fact that we were just hungover by then? Lets."

They lay in comfy silence, Ianto content as he lay in her arms. For some reason he'd always been comfy in her embrace. It made him feel safe.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad we made up after it."

"Yeah, after you nearly got yourself killed." reminded Michaela, squeezing him tight. Ianto sighed, turning in her grip, to face her.

"Hey. Can I ask you a favour?"

"Yeah."

Ianto licked his lips, "Can you… can you not sleep with Jack?"

Michaela snorted, "As if he'd want to."

"Please. Promise me you won't."

Michaela went dead serious. "Sure. Of course."

"Thanks."

"Can I ask why?"

Ianto sighed, reaching up a hand and playing with one lock of auburn hair. "Don't wanna share you with them, or him, any more than I have to. You're the only thing besides Owen I've got from before Canary Warf. I feel like… I just don't wanna share you with him."

"I told you. I'm here for you." Michaela's voice was soft, as she stroked his face, kissing his temple.

"That's nice." Ianto closed his eyes, enjoying the touches.

"Mmm."

"I'm glad you're here."

Michaela swallowed, sadness in her eyes as she looked away from his face. "I'll always come if you need me."

"I know."

Michaela's cheeks became wet as she laid her head down and tried to rest as she held Ianto.

* * *

I was wondering, as the flashbacks can sometimes be quite long, such as the one about Ianto and Michaela's Christmas together, would people prefer if I kept them as short as possible, and maybe have those that are too long as codas to the fic. This doesn't mean they won't come up still, but there would be less of them. I think this would help the fic's pacing. Let me know what you think!

Night's Darkness


	25. Chapter 25

I told you guys the exams would make my plot bunnies go mad. Between work and studying I'm actually behind on keeping up with them. Plus, I'm typing up parts for the sequel already.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 25**

_(18__th__ September 2008)_

**10.30am**

Owen came in late to work again, but Jack was on a Weevil hunt with Gwen, so he got away with it. He threw a withering look up at the old board room, where Michaela was working, and then sat down at his desk.

"Where were you? Sleeping off your hangover?" asked Tosh icily.

"Fuck off Tosh. I was busy."

"You know she's probably noting that you don't come in on time.

"Are you gonna be like this all day? Because if so, I'm gonna spend my day with the Weevils."

Tosh looked hurt and quickly turned to her computer. Owen rolled his eyes at himself, and started working.

About half an hour later, Jack and Gwen returned with a Weevil unconscious between them.

"Owen, can you take a look at this one? Seemed to be acting oddly, even for a Weevil."

"Sure." Owen didn't dare question why Jack was talking to him as if everything was perfectly normal. Jack had swung into so many different moods that Owen was just glad this one hadn't bitten his head off. Gwen, meanwhile, looked to be in a foul mood. Owen was glad of an escape

He was just finishing up the examination when Gwen's voice came over the comm. "Owen, we've been called out by the police. Suspicious murder."

"On my way."

The team packed up and climbed into the SUV. Jack was just about to start the engine when the door opened again and Michaela climbed in behind the driver's seat.

"Oh no!" snapped Jack, "No, get out Michaela."

"I have to observe you in action on a case. May as well do it now." said Michaela, a notebook in her hand. Jack glared at her, Michaela stared back with a determined expression. The others shifted with nerves. Finally Jack growled and turned away. He seemed to decide ignoring the red-head was the best course of action. Gwen looked furious squished between Michaela and Tosh. The car ride was awkward and silent. They all scrambled out as soon as they arrived. Andy Davidson was waiting for them with a grumpy expression. Gwen strode over to him, with a fake smile.

"Hey Andy, is the body untouched?"

"Yeah, we were gonna-"

"Thanks Andy, you're a love." Gwen slipped under the police tape with the rest of the team. Andy pulled an aggravated face.

"No problem."

Michaela followed the team, listening as they talked about the body. Owen concluded it was a Weevil attack, probably from the one Jack and Gwen had brought in earlier. Michaela hovered nearby, making notes as fast as she could. When the team started to bag the body, she moved out of their way, standing near the police tape, eyes fixed on Jack. Andy glanced at her, and out of bored curiosity, asked,

"You a new recruit?" Owen, busy arranging the body to fit into the bag, listened attentively.

"Hm?" Michaela looked at him and gave the P.C. a tight smile, "Oh nah. I'm here to review them. They're under question with the organisation."

Andy stared at her, blank faced, for several moments. Then he lifted both hands a little, pointing towards her.

"If you are kidding please tell me now. Otherwise I've just heard the best news of my week and I will not be able to keep it to myself when I get back to the station."

Michaela raised an eyebrow at him. "Really?"

"Nothing, save catching a serial killer or drug lord cheers the police up more in Cardiff than to hear that the Almighty Torchwood is getting their comeuppance."

'_Shit!'_

"Really? So, you wouldn't say Torchwood works well with the police?"

Andy snorted, "Torchwood always show up without a warning makes us move away without so much as a 'how'd you do', treat us like we're idiots and beneath them and never give us a satisfying answer to any of our cases."

Owen could see Michaela's face was grim. "I see. And this hasn't improved sine Gwen Cooper was hired? She used to work for the police."

"I know, I was her partner. And if you ask me, your organisation's ruining a good woman. Ever since she joined she's gotten hard and doesn't seem to care anymore, not like she used to."

Michaela scribbled into her book furiously. Owen had to admit she looked angry now. "What about Captain Harkness?"

"He's a twat, up his own arse and thinks he's God's gift to humanity."

Any other time, Owen probably would have laughed at that description. Now he just swore mentally at the P.C. as Michaela snapped her book shut.

"Well, thank you very much P.C…?"

"Andy Davidson."

"Yes, thank you Andy. Do you think your boss would share your sentiments?"

"No doubt and with less polite words."

Michaela growled, and Owen heard her mutter something that sounded like another language. Then she asked Andy for Dectective Swanson's number. He gave it and then offered his hand to shake. Owen noticed how it took her quite a bit of time to respond. Then she rushed off, climbing back into the SUV.

"What was she saying to you Andy?" demanded Gwen. Andy put on a casual air.

"Oh, just asking a few questions about you lot."

"And you said nothing but good things, yeah?"

"Well, depends on who you ask really. Bye Gwen."

"But, Andy-!"

Andy walked away, enjoying a feeling of immense satisfaction, no doubt.

Gwen huffed and stomped back to the SUV. Jack and Owen stuffed the body bag into the boot and climbed into the car as Gwen snarled,

"You really want us to look bad, don't you?"

Michaela twitched, then opened her notebook, starting to scribble in it. "If you look bad, it's not my fault. Beside, Ms. Cooper, I think any comments you have for me should wait until our meeting tomorrow, don't you?"

"God, you're a spiteful cow!"

Michaela caught Jack's eyes in the mirror. Jack, while annoyed himself, knew Gwen was pushing her luck.

"Gwen, enough."

"But Jack! She's trying to lord it over is with that fucking notebook. She doesn't understand what we go through, she doesn't know us."

"Apparently no one but you can." muttered Michaela, pulling out her mp3 player. "But like I said Ms. Cooper, this can wait until our meeting. Then you can say everything you want. I'm sure you won't be short on opinions. Now, I'm going to enjoy some Toto. Feel free to rant to the others in the car though. I'm sure they're used to it."

As Michaela put her earphones in and pressed play. Jack noted three things. One, Michaela was gripping her book so tight, her knuckles were white, two Gwen was red and fuming and three, the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he'd just failed a test of some sort.

By the time they got back, Owen wanted to kill someone, preferably someone he neither liked nor knew and was ginger. But he decided to put his energy into the Weevils and what was wrong with Frankenfurter –the one brought in that day. Michaela left at half four, Gwen left ten minutes later in a fury, and Owen went to Tosh, saying,

"What's the likelihood of a cat fight between her and Gwen tomorrow?"

"Considering today, and Gwen's habit of yelling when things don't go her way? Very high."

"Feeling bitchy Tosh?"

Tosh's fingers slammed onto her keyboard, then she turned around to glare at him.

"You listen to me Owen! You may be wallowing in self pity because you were stupid enough to earn your brother's loathing, Gwen might walking around in a bubble of self-righteous anger and Jack might be sulking because his in bed weren't enough to keep Michaela from doing this, ad his arrogance that he always knows best drove Ianto away, but I am just terrified that she'll send me to prison. I cannot, and will not, go back there! So shove your issues up your ass, grow up and _**shut up**_!!"

Tosh was red-faced as she lunged to her feet. She might have come at Owen if Jack hadn't appeared from nowhere and caught her, gathering her to his chest and holding her close as she burst into tears. She buried her face in shirt and sobbed. Owen stood there feeling shell shock.

"Go home Owen." ordered Jack, rubbing Tosh's back and rocking her a little. Owen could only obey, all but running out of the Hub, feeling like the lowest of the low.

~*~

**9.30am**

Someone was ringing his door bell. Ianto was tempted to ignore it but he knew if he didn't move now, he'd just continue staring at the ceiling like he had been since Michaela had woken him to say goodbye. Sighing, he climbed out of bed, pulling on a fresh t-shirt as he went.

There was no one there when he opened the door, but then Ianto noticed a package on the doorstep. He nudged it with his foot. It wasn't too heavy, but it wasn't light either. Wrapped in red tissue paper, it felt like it was made of wood. The size and shape was extremely familiar.

Ianto's hands were shaking as he reached down and lifted the parcel, bringing it inside, kicking the door shut behind him. Something rattled in the parcel. Ianto took it into the sitting room and set it on the coffee table. He inhaled deeply then shredded the tissue paper.

He hadn't seen the box properly since he was 14. It was still in perfect condition, just like the night he'd buried it, along with his mother. Ianto ran his fingers over his name, before opening the lid and looking inside. There were three things in it. With a soft gasp, Ianto lifted out the metal and plastic red rocket with the well chewed rubber tip still hanging on for dear life. Ianto couldn't believe Owen had kept this. Ianto could easily recall eating egg and soldiers with Owen and cheering the Thunderbirds on.

Holding Thunderbird 3 in his hand tight, Ianto took out Thunderbird 2, smoothing his thumb over it with a smile. Owen had loved this ship. Ianto had just tried to eat it.

Still smiling, Ianto took out what he'd thought was a note, but turned out to be a photo. It was of the whole team, grinning and eating ice-cream. Ianto noticed how close he and Jack were standing, a near intimate stance. Swallowing hard, Ianto turned the photo over, seeing Owen's messy 'doctor' writing on the back. It was brief.

'_There should always be five.'_

Five Thunderbirds, five Torchwood employees. Ianto got it, but was not ready for the flood of emotion surging through his body. Then he read the P.S.

'_You owe me a TB2 box no. 3!'_

Ianto let a laugh that sounded like a sob. He covered his face with his hands and cried into them. God how he missed the team. He missed Myfanwy and Janet. He missed being the only one able to keep with Tosh, seeing Gwen try to remind them about real life –although normally he'd inwardly roll his eyes. He missed getting along with Owen. And he… he missed Jack. He was still furious, but… he did miss them.

Getting to his feet, Ianto decided he needed air, so he washed and dressed quickly and went for a walk through his city. He put his mp3 player on loud with an audiobook and let Stephen Fry take him to Hogwarts as he strolled. He kept walking until it started to get dark, and he was on the fourth book by the time he got home.

Michaela pounced on him when he came in, swearing at him in Irish, then switching to English.

"Nach tusa an t-amadan damanta! Why the fuck didn't you answer your phone?"

Ianto winced, "Sorry, it's on silent."

"God! Uascan! I was so scared you'd killed yourself or something! I was about ready to call Jack in a tizzy."

Ianto decided never to admit to enjoying her fussing and worrying.

"Sorry, won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't!" She threw her arms around him, clinging to him. "Don't scare me like that. I haven't been this worried since you OD'd on New Years Eve."

"Sorry. Just needed to think."

"That's fine, but a text next time, please!"

"Sure, ok.

"Did you eat?"

"No."

"Then sit where I can see you and I'll make something."

Wow, she was mad. Ianto felt a bit bad for scaring her if she didn't want him out of her sight. He sat at the kitchen table, watching her cook up a Thai curry. He got bored though, and began to pace around the kitchen, releasing the rabbits and checked the sitting room.

"Where's my box?" he demanded, making Michaela jump.

"I put it on the mantelpiece."

She'd put it next to the photo of him and Lisa. The photo of the team was resting against its side, with the Thunderbirds flanking either side of it. Ianto frown at the mantelpiece, wondering why he suddenly had a sense that something was missing. Then he realised.

Turning around, he went back into the kitchen

"There's no photo of you." he said, staring at her back.

"Nope." agreed Michaela, adding coconut milk. Ianto frowned.

"Does that bug you?"

"It's your home Ianto. I'm not gonna tell you how to decorate."

Ianto noticed how she hesitated before answering him, and his frown deepened. But all he said was,

"Didn't I trash that room yesterday?"

"You did."

"… It's clean."

"I'd hope so. I cleaned it." She finally turned to him, with a tight smile. Ianto thought she looked exhausted.

"You didn't have to."

"Ah, it's grand!" This statement was punctuated by a yawn. Something in Ianto's brain seemed to flicker back on.

"Sit down. I'll finish dinner."

"Don't be daft, I can do it."

"No, don't you be daft. You're exhausted. And I've been a shit host. Now sit down."

Michaela obeyed reluctantly. Ianto made the rice and served the meal. They ate in a comfy silence. When Ianto was done, Michaela put her fork down, looking anxious.

"Ianto… um…"

"Yeah?"

"I need… well… you know the review?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I need you to come into the Hub tomorrow for our interview-"

"No way!"

"C'mon Ianto, please. I need to interview the whole team in the Hub,"

"Can't you make an exception?"

"Ianto, I break enough regulations for you guys as it is. Please don't ask me to lie on this too."

"It's just the location of the interview."

"But if I lie about one thing, then I could lie again. And if UNIT finds out I lied, then I'll end up locked up."

"No one's gonna get locked up. You'll make sure of that."

Michaela did not look convinced. Ianto took her hand, squeezing it.

"'kaela, you managed to keep everyone off Owen's back after he used that alien spray, even though you wanted him to be punished for it."

"He raped people with it! As far as I'm concerned the only difference between him using that and what Blaine used on me is that his shit was alien. Bastard, self-serving-"

"Yes, and you still kept him from UNIT. So I trust to do the same again."

"But Ianto, do you know how much shite I'll have to cover up for you to do it this time?"

"I know it's a lot, but you'll sort it."

Michaela swallowed, "I still need you to come to the Hub."

"Oh for fucks sake!"

"Just for an hour or two. You come straight to me and then leave straight after if that's what you want. But please. If you want me to do what you want, then do this for me. Come to the Hub."

Ianto sulked, than glanced at her, meeting her eyes. They were big and pleading. He sighed, and nodded.

"Ok, but I want some chocolate cake now."

Half the cake was missing, but Ianto said nothing.

Later, they curled up on the couch and Michaela fell asleep on his chest in the middle of a Laurel and Hardy movie. Ianto watched the rest of the movie, then glanced at his watch. It was only half nine. Ianto felt awake mentally, even if he was physically tired from all his walking. Carefully slipping free from under Michaela, he found his diary and started writing. Page after page was filled, as everything that had happened lately came pouring out. He was just writing about Owen's delivery that morning and how he wasn't sure what to do about it when Michaela woke with a moan and pried her eyes open. Ianto quickly put the diary away and watched her rub at her face, smearing her eye make up. As she sat up, Ianto said,

"Can we try to have sex tonight?"

"Ugh, sure… 'cause I feel so super sexy right now." Michaela wiped drool from her chin, grimacing. Ianto was glad he'd moved.

"Still, can we? I don't to be stuck with this problem any longer than I have to."

"You're making the idea more and more appealing by the moment. How can I refuse?" she stared at him through bleary eyes. "Ianto, I'm really tired…"

"Please?" Ianto widened his eyes, silently begging. Michaela sighed, running fingers through her hair.

"When can do something. But after yesterday, do you honestly think you could handle sex? Lets do what we agreed to. Take it slow."

Ianto decided that was better than nothing. He nodded.

"Right. So… get in bed –with some form of clothing on!- and I'll join you when I've changed." she sniffed her breath, wrinkling her nose, "And brushed my teeth."

Ianto went to his bedroom and stripped to his pants, then climbed into his bed, relaxing back. He wondered how Jack would react to his and Michaela's frank discussion. He'd probably complain that they'd sucked all the fun out. But that was them, particularly when spontaneity proved a bad idea, like it had last night and many times before. Ianto gave a snort, remembering the first time –after she'd thrown out, and he'd OD'd and she'd saved him and they'd crawled their adolescently clueless way to humiliating, awkward, depressing and then eventually good sex- he'd tried to be spontaneous with Michaela. He'd shoved her against the wall too hard, and she'd panicked and head butted him, leaving them both with ferocious headaches.

"Ok." Michaela came in dressed in small red shorts and a white string top, with hands on her hips. "How're we going to do this?"

As Ianto admired her figure and her attempts to hide her nerves, he quickly concluded that their relationship was the greatest thing in the world.

* * *

Did anyone else notice no flashbacks? There will be more, but not as many or as large I think. It seemed to be the general consensus that they be a little reduced. But for those who enjoy them, there will be codas as well as plenty in this fic.

Night's Darkness


	26. Chapter 26

Ok, I know it's been ages and for some Janto fans I left them on tenderhooks over the end of the last chapter. But honestly, today has been the first day I've had enough time to write ANYTHING, let alone the next chapter of this. Apologies for the shortness of this chapter, but there is a reason for it…

Enjoy! (I hope the memo trick works)

~*~

**Chapter 26**

_(18__th__ September 2008)_

"So how'd you want to do this?"

"Well… maybe you could get on the bed."

Michaela started, as if this requirement hadn't occurred to her. Ianto smiled as she blushed and crawled onto the bed, curling her legs under her on top of the duvet. Looking unsure, she held out her hand.

"Well? What do you want now?"

Ianto realised she wanted him to take the lead. Taking in a deep breath, he took her hand and pulled her closer. Michaela lifted her hand to brace herself on his chest as he put his hand on her hip. His other hand cupped her cheek. He glanced at her lips, then met her eyes. He gave her a brief smile and then pressed his lips to hers. As he –and she- relaxed into the familiar, almost innocent action, Ianto's grip on her hip tightened. However, he didn't try to have her stretch full-bodied against him. Instead, he just pulled her face that bit closer to his, so he could push into her mouth, his tongue swiping her teeth and then her tongue. Michaela shivered, one hand reaching up and resting on his shoulder, shifting so Ianto could feel her knees against the side of his leg and she wasn't overstretched. They both tasted like Aquafresh.

Ianto took his time, enjoying the languid kisses. He'd forgotten the enjoyment gained by just kissing. Jack was always more interested in getting to the more intense stuff. Lisa had liked it though, so maybe it was a girl thing –although if that was the case, what exactly that said about him, didn't bear thinking about.

After about 20 minutes, Michaela pulled away, and ran her fingers over her lips. They were swollen, red and curved into a gentle smile.

Ianto ran his fingertips over her cheeks, smiling.

"That was nice." murmured Michaela, sitting up and straddling his thighs, her bum resting against his knees. Ianto reached out and curled his fingers around her hips. He relaxed into his pillows, and found himself remembering those peaceful nights when, after a lot of work to trust each other, they'd been able to sit like this and talk.

Then Archie had sent him to London.

"What now?" she asked, "My lips are kind numb."

"Well, I… what's that?" Ianto frowned, looking at her thigh. Something on her skin had caught his eye.

"What?" Michaela looked down. "Oh, right. You haven't seen my tattoo, have you?"

"You got a tattoo? When?"

"Like, a while after you went to London, maybe a month or so… it was before I met Jack anyway. Do you like it?"

Ianto did not. And the mention of Jack put him in a bad mood for a lot of reasons. He couldn't say why he didn't like it. There was nothing wrong with it. It was dark green, a line going down the outside of her thigh from just under her hip to just above her knee. It had much smaller lines bisecting it, some were straight across, others cut diagonally, clumped into random groups. Ianto traced it with his fingertip, trying not to frown. This was different. Worse, it was permanent. A permanent change to the only consistency in his life.

"It's… interesting."

Her smile fell, "You don't like it."

"I just… why'd you get it?"

"I wanted it. Wanted it for years. Eventually decided I wanted to put my own mark on my body so there wouldn't just be the scars Blaine left." Michaela sounded defensive. Ianto quickly backtracked, he couldn't let her get cold now. He caught her wrist and kissed it, then playfully nuzzled into her neck, then grinned at her. Michaela looked caught between annoyed and amused. Good, he just had to get her to swing his way. So he kissed her again. When he pulled back, she was smiling again. Ianto tilted her head back and started kissing her neck, hearing her sigh, feeling her fingers work into his hair. He sniffed her scent and a warmth spread from his stomach to the tips of his fingers and toes.

Then Michaela yawned.

Ianto pulled back to stare at her, eyebrows raised. Michaela looked horrified, covering her mouth and blushing crimson.

"I am so sorry! That wasn't a shot at –it's just I… I'm sorry." She ducked her head, tucking her chin into her chest. Ianto reached a hand up and stroked her hair.

"You really are tired, aren't you?"

"Honestly?" she met his eyes regrettably, "I couldn't muster the energy to crawl to my room."

Ianto put his arm around her waist, feeling disappointed and frustrated. But he tried not to let it show on his face. He could tell she felt bad. Besides, they could always try in the morning.

"Stay here. Sleep with me."

Michaela smiled, laced fingers on the back of his neck and brow resting against his. Her eyes closed and she sagged a little against him.

"Thanks."

Ianto felt a small smile spread his lips, his hands rubbing the exposed skin of her back. Then Michaela sighed, opening her eyes,

"Tomorrow's gonna suck."

"You think?"

"I'm interviewing the whole team about the bad stuff you've all done. Like… using alien pheromones as date-rape drugs, or mutinies, or retconning boyfriends to confess affairs."

"I never should have told you about that."

"Hey, you needed my help to figure out if you should tell Jack or not."

"True." Ianto found himself under sudden green-eyed scrutiny.

"You lied to him. Because you care about him. You didn't want to destroy his fantasy that she was perfect."

Ianto squirmed and tried to be glib, "You know me well."

"I hope so. What I don't know is how Jack could ever see that woman as perfect."

Ianto's smile turned indulgent. "You don't like her."

"She treated me like I was Umbridge out to ruin Hogwarts today. Rantin' and ravin' like I was an evil bitch. And Jack didn't stop her. I could see his disapproval, but he let her carry on."

Ianto sighed, this sounded like many a rant that had passed through his head. Michaela continued, clearly getting worked up,

"Has he really got no concept of discipline with her?"

Ianto had no answer. So he just pulled her down to lie next to him, holding her close and switching the light off. They lay pressed against each other, their arms around the other's middles. The darkness was quiet, warm, like a protective cocoon. Then,

"Ianto?" Michaela spoke in a small, nervous voice.

"Yeah?" He murmured into her hair.

"Please don't hate me after tomorrow."

"…I couldn't. I promise."

They were quiet for a few moments, then Michaela spoke again in that same tone.

"Ianto?"

"Mmm?"

"… I don't want to be Umbridge."

Ianto said nothing, only held her tighter.

~*~

_(19__th__ September 2008)_

Today was going to suck.

Jack knew it from the moment he'd gone to dress for the day and found his clothes were almost all filthy, so he'd had to dig around for a shirt. In his bad mood he'd forgotten all about doing a wash. Jack knew the others thought Ianto cleaned all his stuff, but Jack had told him to stop when he'd returned from the 'incident' with the Master. As he'd put it to Ianto, he wasn't after a maid, or a wife.

Ianto had made a quip about the suffragettes banging down the cogwheel to beat him over the head with big signs.

Ianto had only ever cleaned his coat –out of a love of history as much as anything else.

Remembering this only made him more aggravated as he stomped into his office. And his mood soured ever further when he opened his email and found a memo from Michaela.

_In accordance with the procedure for the review of Torchwood 3 the agents are required to attended separate interviews today (19__th__ September 2008) in which they will be required to answer all questions asked by the interviewer truthfully. The order will go as follows:_

_Toshiko Sato_

_Gwen Cooper_

_Owen Harper_

_Ianto Jones_

_Jack Harkness_

_If the interviews extend over too much time, any remaining ones will be conducted the following day. _

Great, she wanted to do this today. The day after Gwen turned into Mount Vesuvius lying wait, the day after Tosh had broken down –sweet, strong Tosh- and Jack had had to take her home, make her tea and put her to bed with a mild sedative so she'd sleep.

Jack wanted to kill Michaela for what she was doing to his team, never mind that she was following orders. There had to be a better way to do this whole thing.

Then he noticed something odd about the memo; the way Ianto's name had been formatted. It was blatantly wrong. No one would make that clear a mistake, and especially not someone as anally meticulous as Michaela. With a frown on his face, Jack highlighted memo. And there it was.

'_Ianto's coming in for the interview. This is the only chance I'm getting for you to try and open a dialogue with him. Don't waste it. the longer you leave it, the harder it'll be to fix all of this.'_

Jacks stared at the words, unsure what to make of them. This was certainly unexpected. Especially after that slap. Michaela wanted Jack to make up with Ianto?

However, Jack pondered for a moment, maybe it wasn't so surprising. After all he remembered how she'd obsessively played with her phone, desperate to hear from Ianto, but refusing Jack's exasperated advice for her to tell Ianto off for his ignoring of her. She hadn't wanted to upset him in his domestic bliss, she'd wanted him to be happy. So it seemed likely she'd try to fix things between the team and Ianto if she thought it would make Ianto happy. It wasn't an act of generous kindness really, but a way of appeasing the man she was obsessed with. Although why she didn't take advantage to keep Ianto all to herself baffled Jack.

For the first time since all this had started, Jack wondered where Archie was amongst it. The Scotsman was probably nearly 70 by now, but that didn't mean much by today's standards really. Or Jack's standards for that matter.

Although he was Scottish and with their health figures, maybe it was more impressive.

Why had Archie sent Michaela to review the team, if Ianto had called for her on a personal level? What was Archie doing sticking Michaela in such an admittedly awkward position? As it was, she seemed to be both blocking the way to and the only connection they had to Ianto. And now she seemed to be using the interviews as a way of bringing the whole team together in the same area.

Was the whole point of the review some mad way Archie and Michaela thought could reunite the team? Were they really in fact trying to help in their own, insane Q-Celtic way?

Jack knew Archie was crazy but clever, so with him it was likely. But Michaela was straight-laced, and a believer in rules, in right and wrong. Would she go along with a plan to use the devastating review to fix the team? Jack couldn't see her having the courage. She may have acquired a backbone, but she was in no way strong enough to lie to UNIT. Yvonne Hartman had scared her into muteness… although Jack had been able to get a squeak out of her by sliding his hand under her skirt during one of the meetings. Jack laughed derisively as he remembered how red she'd gone. No, someone like that could never try to help the team out. She would just do her job and leave them in the dust.

But Jack would still take advantage of the opportunity she'd given him. He had to talk to Ianto, but he had to keep his head.

He'd need some coffee.

~*~

The reason this is so short is because I want to do the interviews right. And so this will take me an extra bit of time –I think, I might get lucky and find it's ok once I get going- but there's a lot to deal with, with all the characters issues, and getting the tone just right for each of them, and I think it's important that the interviews actually get seen, rather than glossed over. So I hope you'll bear with me, and I will try to get the next bit up as fast as possible.

Thanks so much for your support!

Night's Darkness


	27. Chapter 27 Toshiko

Long A/N: Right, this chapter ended up being so bloody long I've had no choice but to split it into five separate parts, one for each team member.

I've been wracking my brains –between exhaustion from work and actually working- ever since I last updated, trying to figure out a clever way of rehashing a lot of stuff we already know. So this is what I came up with. Basically each of the characters is given a specific colour to represent their thoughts throughout the interviews. (This only applies to my not-rude ginger LiveJournal account. Go there for the effect, has something different, which I don't think works as well as the colours, Sorry!

In this Tosh is bold and Michaela is italics.

I sincerely hope this style and the questions I came up with work, and it's been worth the long wait. Hopefully I'll be happy enough with Gwen's interview to post it tomorrow, then maybe the guys will be up over the next few days.

Also, I feel I should issue a warning after what happened when I sat down and told my beta exactly what was going to occur in this fic before it's finished. I won't give anything away, but I broke her brain so much from it she actually fled to Paris.

Enjoy! (Reminder: **Tosh is bold**, _Michaela is italics_)

* * *

**Chapter 27****. 1**

_(19__th__ September 2008)_

_Today's D-day. Well, I-day, as in Interviews. God I don't want to do this. I don't want to force this lot to face up to their failings. Archie's the one who should be doing this, not me. But… I guess this is sorta my fault, as much as it is theirs for the trouble they're in now. So I have to make sure they pass. I have to get them to give me what I need to save them. Just wish I knew how I was going to do that._

_Well, Tosh is first… maybe she'll be ok, maybe she'll be able to give me what I'm looking for._

_… I really hope I don't screw this up._

I** try to control my shaking hands as I get dressed for the day. Jack called me this morning, he told me I'm first on the list to be interviewed today. Ever since I hung up I can't stop trembling, I can barely strap on my shoes properly, and when I drank my morning coffee, the mug kept clinking against my teeth. This is ridiculous, I've faced aliens, bombs, psychopaths –I've helped save the world more times than I can remember for God's sake! But the idea of facing that woman with her paper and suits makes me feel like throwing up and hiding under my bedcovers until everything's ok again.**

**Why, why, why do I have to go first? Is it some kind of cruel joke, some sort of mean motive to make me feel scared enough to cry?**

**_Or maybe it's just luck of the draw and you need to calm down and handle this rationally,_ I tell myself. Problem is, how can I be rational if every time I try to relax and calm down, my mind sticks me back in that cell! If I fail today, if the other's fail today, I could be stuck back in there forever. God I can't do that, I just can't do that!**

**Ianto how could you do this to me? How could you bring this threat down on me? Not even Owen knows about my experiences with UNIT, but you, I confided in you, I told you everything to make you see that we've all been through horrific things. And you must have known she would do this, you know everything!**

**God, if this thing goes badly today… I won't ever be able to forgive you for it!**

~*~

Jack hovered near Tosh as he watched Michaela go through her many, many sheets of paper, and take three calls on her phone. He wasn't sure if she was deliberately stalling, or just trying to be thorough. But finally she stood up and went to the door, stepping onto the stairs. Her heels clicked softly as she called,

"Toshiko?"

Tosh visibly flinched and looked up. Owen and Gwen froze. Michaela gave the Asian woman a small smile. "It's time for your interview. Could you join me please?"

Jack was relieved by the warm tone, it boded well for Tosh. Nevertheless, he gave Tosh's shoulder a quick squeeze as she stood up.

Tosh gave him a grateful look, then glanced at Owen, who gave her a bracing apologetic look. Tosh nodded, before taking a deep breath and going up the stairs, trying not to feel like she was heading towards her own doom.

~*~

_Poor Tosh, she looks so terrified. Ianto was right, when she looks sad, you do want to hug her and promise her it'll be all right. Jesus Christ Archie, why did you stick me in this situation? Probably your insane way of teaching me a lesson about overprotection. Well, believe me, after all this, lesson learned!_

_I want to make Tosh stop looking at me like I'm an alien all set to gobble her up, but I have to maintain a degree of objective distance. I can't try to be chummy with her. So I try to give her a reassuring, if distant, smile. It doesn't help in the slightest._

_Fantastic._

"Ok, so, let's get this started, eh? Want it over and done with, right?"

"Mmm."

"Ok, I'm going to ask you questions, and you have to answer honestly. It'll all be recorded by this tape recorder. Just be honest, and this'll all be over soon."

"… Ok."

**Honesty? Why did she need to say it twice? Was that some kind of hint? Ok, just calm down Tosh, you can do this. Just answer carefully.**

"Right, now, beginning interview."

_Click_

"State your name and function in the Torchwood Cardiff team."

"Toshiko Sato. Computer Specialist."

"How long have you worked for Torchwood?"

"Almost five years now."

"You were employed by Captain Harkness directly, yes?"

"Yes."

"He recruited you while you were a prisoner of UNIT, being held for assisting a terrorist organisation."

"That's right, but I was only doing it to rescue my mother from them."

"That's irrelevant here. I'm only interested in the reasoning behind your joining of Torchwood. Now, what were the terms of your release from the detention centre?"

"I had to work for Torchwood… for Jack, for five years minimum."

"Doing what?"

"I'm in charge of all computer technology, maintaining them, using them as needed during missions and to investigate occurrences that come to our notice, as well as being the main person to examine and study alien technology and languages."

"Captain Harkness trusts you with even the most sensitive of alien technology?"

"Yes, unless Jack feels its presence could be damaging to the timeline or something similar. Then he'll deal with it himself."

"Why does Captain Harkness trust you?"

"… I'm sorry?"

"Why does Captain Harkness trust you with all this sensitive information? You were a prisoner of UNIT, you were employed under duress essentially, meaning that he really has no reason to trust you."

"… I have been nothing but loyal to this team, and to Jack, and I would never-"

"Loyal, but still willing to bring an alien into the Hub, knowing full well you shouldn't."

"I…"

_Oh God, c'mon Tosh, say something, say anything, silence is not good here!_

**What do I say? How do I justify letting Mary in, how do I explain it without proving I'm weak to manipulation? Michaela's looking at me, imploring me, I have to answer her, but with what?**

_Anything Tosh! I can't take the question back, and I had to ask it. It's important that you answer me, c'mon, you're the smartest person in this place, I know you can answer me, please._

"I… I knew that Jack would be aware of the situation and be able to handle it, deal with the… with Mary. I knew, I knew he would be able to deal with it."

**Should I not have lied?**

_Shit, she lied._

"Right. So, that still doesn't explain why Jack trusts you. Or for that matter, why you should trust or be loyal to Jack."

"He saved me!"

"Is that all? What else is there keeping you tied to him? Why are you loyal to Jack?"

_Come on Tosh, tell me what I need to hear. Give me that edge. Wait- did I call him Jack? Damnit! Can't be too familiar. Professionalism woman!_

**What does she want me to say? There's a weird look in her eyes, almost like she's desperate for me to tell her something, but what?**

"Jack, Jack deserves my loyalty. He saved my life, he's saved it so many times."

_Yes! Yes, come on Tosh._

"I owe my loyalty to Jack for getting me out of that centre."

_Ah fuck! Quick, clarify!_

"So your loyalty is forced?"

**What?**

"What? No! I give my loyalty freely as much as I feel he is owed it. He is my captain."

_Thank bloody fuck! Moving on…_

"Then why did you mutiny with the rest of your team?"

"We were being manipulated by a man called Billis Manger. He tricked us into thinking… into thinking…"

**I did it because I saw my mother, because Owen wanted me to. That is not a good answer.**

_Ok, now you can lie Tosh, just this once, no one has to know why you really did it. Just make it a good one._

"We thought that if we opened the Rift, the problems caused by opening it before would stop and the world would be safe."

_Good answer._

"We should have listened to Jack."

_Even better!_

"So… you think Captain Harkness is a capable leader?"

"Of course. He's… he's the only one for the job. No one else could do what he does."

"Oh? How come?"

"He can make the decisions that no one else can. He can do what needs to be done to ensure the safety of the planet, even if it costs him everything."

**She's staring at me, I think I've told her what she wants to hear. But I can't be sure, she's as good at Ianto at hiding what she's thinking. Did he teach her how? I wish I knew what she was thinking.**

_Now I see why Ianto says she's the sensible one of the team. Now if the others can be just as cooperative… yeah right._

"Do you feel that Jack abuses his position of power as team leader? Particularly when his personal feelings are involved?"

**She's talking about everything that's happened with Ianto. I wonder how much she actually knows. Has Ianto told her everything? Does she know how childish and petty Ianto was? Jack was trying to protect Ianto. Granted, he did it completely stupidly, but he was trying to do what's right. I bet Ianto hasn't told her any of that. This whole thing has brought out an uglier side of Ianto.**

_Why isn't she answering me? She must know what I'm talking about._

"No more than the rest of us."

**I'm not going to give you anything to use against us.**

_Well that answer's completely useless! And I can't lead her along. Bloody rules! Ok, maybe I can try another angle, of sorts._

"Well, how do you feel about Captain Harkness recent actions, regarding Ianto Jones?"

**If you think I'm going to say anything against Jack, you've another thought coming.**

"Jack felt that Ianto was putting himself and the team in danger because of his… actions. Jack took action to ensure the safety of Ianto and the rest of the team."

**She's looking at me weirdly, like she's not sure if she's happy with my answer or not. Well, I answered honestly, but I'm not going to tell her I didn't approve. It'll make Jack sound bad. And I think that's partly what this is all about. It's about Jack and his abilities as a leader. It's almost like we're not a part of the same investigation. We're being judged by our actions. Jack's being judged by how he reacted to our actions.**

_Is that enough? I'm not sure. I can't lead them by the nose, and I can't move away from the set questions I've been given. I don't think there's any more questions left to ask her… at least there's no more on the list. And she's clearly dying to get away from me._

_It'll have to do._

"Ok, I think, we can leave it at that. Interview End."

_Click_

"Thank you Toshiko, you may go."

"T-Thanks."

**I get to my feet and try not to run out of the room. It wasn't too bad, but I can't say if I did well or not. Gwen's next. I really hope she can keep herself under control.**

~*~

Once again all comments will be hugely appreciated. They'll help me improve the next four parts.

Night's Darkness


	28. Chapter 27 Gwen

Thanks for the supportive comments, now I just hope this chapter doesn't descend into Gwen bashing territory, as I really did try to be fair to her. Hopefully I've got her right.

Enjoy! (reminder: **Gwen is bold**, _Michaela is italics_)  


* * *

**Chapter 27.2**

_(19__th__ September 2008)_

Jack glanced up as Toshiko came out, looking pale, but not as traumatised as Jack had feared she would be. But, he reminded himself, Tosh was stronger than she looked. Maybe it was a good sign that she looked more confused than anything else as she returned to her desk and buried herself in her work, soothing her nerves with numbers and technology.

Gwen fidgeted in her seat as she waited to be called. Jack thought that she rather looked like a petulant teen, waiting to see the principal. Glancing up, he saw Michaela change play with a small recording device, reshuffle her pages and then get to her feet. She went to the door, and like before stepped just out of the room, calling,

"Gwen Cooper. It's time for your interview. Please join me."

Her tone was a little less friendly than with Tosh, which surprised Jack. Gwen usually had people warming to her easily.

Gwen huffed and got to her feet, making her way up the stairs, looking mutinous. Jack really wanted to cover his face with his hands and groaned loudly, that look was never good.

~*~

**I woke up this morning with a call from Jack, telling me I was being interviewed after Tosh today. Since then I've been in a foul mood. Who is this woman coming in and judging us? I looked up about Torchwood House. They don't have a Rift, they're just a historical site. They don't deal with aliens like we do, they don't deal with all the horrible, weird shit that we do.**

**Rhys tried to be supportive, he said that everything would be ok. But he doesn't know either. He doesn't get how hard it is to do the job we do, and for this, this '_girl' _to come along and try to tell us how to do our jobs, how to act… who the hell does she think she is?**

**Worse is the fact that I know Ianto wouldn't ask for this to be happening to us. And he probably called her as a friend, not an official. Why is she here forcing us to sit through this bullocks, when she could be helping us help Ianto?**

_Ah, delightful, she looks pissed off and mutinous. Ianto said be fair to her, and I can't allow how I feel about her off-the-record actions to influence me. Besides, from what I've read, heard and seen, she seems to mean well. Even if she gets bitchy when things don't go her way._

_So I should give her the benefit of the doubt. I am trying to prove the reports don't give the full picture, so I must do what's right, and get good answers from her._

_Well, here we go._

"Ok, here's how it works. I ask you questions regarding your work in Torchwood and you answer with the truth, the complete truth, ok?"

"Yes."

_She gets the concept of truth, yes, but only her version of it I think. I hope she doesn't lie like Tosh. Don't they realise that their interviews are put with the reports and they deliberately lie and it goes against the reports, it'll be brought into question. If they do I have to make sure to clarify –shit I should have done that with Tosh! Ok, I've no idea how I could have corrected a blatant lie like that, but I should have tried, I promised Ianto I would! And I keep my promises._

_Ok, calm down, just don't fuck up with Gwen._

**Why is she talking to me like I'm an idiot?**

"Lets begin. Interview start."

_Click_

"Name and function in Torchwood."

"Gwen Cooper, Police Liason."

"So how did you become aware of Torchwood?"

"They came to a murder scene, where I was working as a police officer. They had the force and CSI move away from the body. I was curious so I watched them from the rooftop of a car park next to the scene. I saw them use the Rise- the Ressurection Glove- to bring the victim back to life."

_Of course, that's Torchwood Cardiff, subtle as an elephant throwing a brick._

"They saw me watching. And I started investigating about them. I couldn't leave it alone."

_Her obsessiveness is a useful and exasperating thing Ianto says. The reports have shown the benefits and problems from it._

"Eventually I found the Hub and Ianto let me in under Jack's orders. Jack showed me the Weevils, explained what Torchwood was about, but then he Ret-conned me. But I shook it off and after Suzie killed herself, Jack offered me a job."

"What exactly is your role in the Hub?"

"I'm the Police Liason, I work with them on the matters that arise that are Rift related."

"So why are the relations between Torchwood and the police so bad?"

"… I'm sorry?"

"I spoke with Detective Swanson on the phone, and while I haven't as yet gotten an official statement from her, it's very clear that the Police and Torchwood do not get along. But isn't the whole point of your job that the relations are good between the two systems?"

"I… well-"

"If it's your job are you simply incapable of doing it?"

**Christ, she's as sarcastic as Ianto! Must have learned that from him. Bloody cow!**

"We do our best to get along with the Police, but the secrecy of our jobs means we can't tell them all they want to know and they don't like that. Besides, it's only the official title of my job. Jack really hired me to bring some humanity into the team."

"And what does that entail exactly?"

"I remind them that there is a whole other side of life, that not everything is about aliens and technology. I bring compassion to the Hub, and I've got a boyfriend outside here, and I remind them that they can have that too."

_Wow… she's so full of it._

"Surely you must have a better example than standing and talking about your relationship? Unless of course you're attempting to be an example for your teammates to rise above."

**What?**

_Shit that came out all wrong! C'mon Michaela, don't let her get to you. Be fucking professional!_

"Excuse me? What's that suppose to mean?"

"Well, you're insubordinate, you disobey direct orders when you don't agree with them, you refuse to follow orders that are specifically designed to protect this organisation, to protect civilians, on whims of your emotions-"

"And Jack lets me!"

_Oh fuck!_

"Jack lets me. He appreciates me for my opinions, for the way I make him look at things from a human perspective. He understood that I needed Rhys to know what I did in order to function in Torchwood."

"And you function by screaming, yelling and stamping your foot like a child?"

"You don't work here! You don't know what it's like! I do my bloody best to help people, to keep this team from forgetting what it means to be human, to bring a new perspective to the team."

"You show me how any your actions are justifiable, explain to me what contribution you make to the team by behaving the way you do."

"I…"

**I can't answer her. I want to, but I can't. Do I really go on that much? I mean… I know I go on about Rhys… but he's my fiancé, and isn't that what people do? Don't people talk about their relationships? It's not my fault that the others don't want to talk about their relationships, or that they don't have any.**

**Maybe I shouldn't have reacted the way I did about Jack wanting me to Ret-con Rhys… after all, I did retconned him last year. That still haunts me. I was so selfish to do that, but I needed Rhys to forgive me, and I wasn't ready to lose him over it. I took a cowards way out. But I couldn't take away Rhys' achievement, his bravery, and his eagerness. The way he babbled about how he was seeing everything in a different light… his enthusiasm about everything that's out there is exactly what I needed to remember that it's not all dark and cruel. And if I don't remember that, I can't do what Jack hired me to do. I can't help the others see it too.**

_What is she doing? She hasn't said anything for over a minute. She can't just go off into her own head in the middle of a fucking interview! What do I do? Do I move on? Well if she's not gonna answer me-_

"You are the one who took over for Captain Harkness during his absence. Why were you, the lowest ranking agent with the least amount of experience, the one to assume command?"

**Because no one else wanted to. Tosh wasn't interested, Owen was still reeling from his actions with the mutiny and Ianto… well Ianto could have taken command if Owen hadn't been unwilling to listen to him even more than he was unwilling to listen to me. At the time I'd assumed that was just because Ianto had shot him in the shoulder, but obviously it was because of a lot of things. All of which has caught up with us now. But Ianto didn't say anything to stop me from trying my hardest to keep this team together.**

"We needed someone to take over, and the others had their hands full with their own duties. I was able to put being in command alongside my other duties and keep the team together until Jack came back. I knew it would only be a temporary thing, but we weren't sure how temporary, and someone had to step up and make the call."

"In that time did you try to continue Captain Harkness' policy in alien handling, or did you try to introduce your own ideals?"

"Jack always said it was important to understand what we were dealing with, for our safety, for civilian safety and for the safety of the aliens who we came in contact with. If they were harmless, we took care of them. If they were a threat… we took care of them."

_Now that's a good answer!_

"It was your decision to take the whole team to the Himalayas under Mr. Saxon's orders, against the recommendation of Agent Jones, who suggested that he remain behind and man the Hub. This trip proved pointless and during the time the Rift was left unattended, the Weevil population was free to run wild, and all alien arrivals went unchecked."

**So first she gets all annoyed with me because I didn't follow orders, now she's questioning me for actually following orders? What does she want from me?**

"We were under orders."

"Torchwood is outside the government, meaning you didn't have to follow his orders to the letter or at all."

"Even if I had let Ianto stay behind, what could he have done on his own? I didn't want to risk him like that."

"You didn't think he'd be sensible enough to call in help from UNIT or the police or anyone like that?"

"No, he would have, but-"

**I didn't want to leave him alone, not when Jack had left him like that. He wasn't moping, he was just getting on with life, but I didn't want to risk him being alone if it all caught up with him, or… I didn't want the team to break up for anything.**

_Ianto said she hadn't wanted him to be alone. I get that and it could be a good answer in this instance, especially with the angle I'm going to take with Ianto. But I don't think she's going to tell me, her face is all closed up and her eyes are burning as she stares at me._

_She really can stare._

"During the mission involving the creature called the 'Space Whale' you put the entire mission in jeopardy when you revealed yourself, and led to the revealing of Captain Harkness and Agent Sato."

"My fiancé was being held at gunpoint! What else was I supposed to do?"

"You seem incapable of maintaining any form of emotional control, particularly in separating the personal elements of your life from professional. You led a mutiny with Dr. Harper to bring back a single dead individual at the risk of the entire planet. Do you not understand the point of your job, your **duty** as a member of this organisation, is to protect this planet, not destroy it?"

"I'm not a cold hearted bitch! I know what my job is, but I need Rhys! It was a mistake, but we were manipulated into doing it."

_You need your boyfriend so much you fuck a date-rapist behind his back and Ret-conned him to confess so you could get forgiveness you don't deserve._

"It's not about being cold-hearted. It's about being rational enough to not risk many for one. No matter who the one is."

"What do you know about any of this? You sit up in your House, not having to deal with any of the shit the Rift spits out, you don't know what it's like to be in danger of your life, scared you'll die if you make a wrong move. I will not sit here and be judged by you!"

_Get her out before she says anything else that digs her deeper!_

"…I think that's all I need to ask you Agent Cooper. You may go. Interview end."

_Click_

**I shouldn't have lost my temper. Why did I have to blow up at her like that? She's looking at me like she hates me. I just know she's going to hold a grudge against me, but will she count it in the interview? Shit, shit, shit!**

_There's a part of me that wants to bust her for Ret-conning her boyfriend, but I can't. It'll get them all in more trouble because it's not on record. No point in adding to their misery. Plus, Ianto told me that in confidence. This lot may not get the concept of keeping things secret, if the way they throw this organisation's name around is any indication, but I do._

_Still, as I watch her storm out of the room… grumpy old cow, __bitseach! If what Ianto's said about her and Jack is true, maybe Jack's taste in women really is that bad. After all, he fucked me –No! Shut up brain, don't go there!_

_Owen's next… _**_oh goody-gumdrops._**

~*~

Ok, I think Michaela might have channelled some of the negative feelings I have towards Gwen. I hope they didn't detract from the fic.

Comments are greatly appreciated.

Night's Darkness


	29. Chapter 27 Owen

**A/N:** Ok, I know it's been… exactly a month since I updated this fic, but the plotbunny wouldn't wake up and I really struggled with this, because Owen's obnoxious, but he's also sweet and I was trying to get the whole thing right. I'm still not happy with this chapter and it's un-beta-ed but I just want this chapter over with. Ianto's interview is almost done and *famous last words* I hope to have it ready in the next few days. Then Jack's will be up and then this chapter will be done and I will be so HAPPY!

Also, there is a coda for Tears. It's called 'I want a friend for Christmas'. Anyone who misses the flashbacks, I think you'll like it.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 27.3**

_(19__th__ September 2008)_

Gwen left the room looking red-faced and furious. Jack grimaced, glancing at Michaela through the window. She was punching buttons on her recorder with a viciousness not really required for the delicate machine.

Gwen threw herself into her chair and glared at her computer screen. Owen glanced at her, and then snapped off his latex gloves, looking more than ready to take Michaela on. Jack wondered if his entire team had an inability to act like adults when it came to someone telling them off. Then again, was he any better?

As Michaela emerged and called, "Dr. Harper. It's time for your interview." Jack had the distinct impression she already despised Owen and they hadn't even spoken yet.

This would not go well. Jack just knew it. So he abandoned all pretence of work and settled himself down to watch a train-wreck.

After all, there was nothing else he could do.

~*~

**Woke up with a hangover and my phone ringing in my ear today. Jack said I'm third on the list of the team for these fucking interviews. He also said Ianto's coming in, so I should take advantage. What the fuck have I got to say to Ianto now? Sorry I fucked up? Well, might be a start, but right now I'm more concerned about this fucking woman making us sit through pointless, time-wasting, interviews. **

**Ianto's the one who brought her on us. He's got a lot to explain. Did he really screw his way into Torchwood, like I used to mock him? I'd always thought he was too prim and proper to really have done it, but it always annoyed him, so I kept doing it. **

**When I came in I felt too guilty to face Tosh and apologise like I should have. I dunno what she was shouting about yesterday, but it upset her more than I've ever seen, and I know it takes a lot to upset Tosh to the point of tears. **

**Ianto still hasn't responded to my ice breaker of an offering. Why not? Is he just gonna ignore me? Or is he letting me stew? What the hell does he want me to do? **

**Tosh and Gwen have both gone, it's my turn now. Christ Gwen looks pissed. And Tosh looks anxious. What the fuck has that bitch been saying? What? It's time? Well don't try to sound welcoming darling. She looks at me like I'm a rat. Great, what's Ianto been saying? Probably been whinging to her about me. **

_Harper looks like he'd like to shoot me. No surprises there, he's the most trigger-happy of the whole bunch, and that's saying something, from what the reports have shown._

_No point in beating about the bush, I don't want to be around this guy any more than I have to. _

"Name and function in Torchwood?"

Dr. Owen Harper, resident medic."

"When did you become a member? Who hired you?"

"In 2005, Jack hired me."

"What kind of work does a doctor perform at Torchwood?"

"I perform alien autopsies, analyse alien biological samples, along with alien substances. I also keep the team in good health and treat most of their injuries. Anything too severe we get done in a hospital under my supervision."

_So far, so good. But now- _

"Can you explain why there are seven recorded incidents of you using Torchwood property for your own personal reasons?"

"What?"

"To list a few, you stole the Torchwood SUV for free parking, you stole an alien substance that when added to any liquid turns the liquid into a substance with a similar effect of alcohol and cannabis mixed, you date-raped seven people using alien pheromones and you used the device called the 'Ghost Machine' to justify the torture of a civilian."

… **What?**

"I have never date-rape anyone!"

"Oh really? Last year, you used alien chemicals to force your victims to become sexually attracted to you and incapable of controlling themselves. You yourself stated in the report on the pheromones that they 'make the recipient incapable of rational thought, as they are forced to desire and react to the wearer of the pheromones, regardless of their own preferences, sexual orientation, relationship status, or any other aspect that would allow them to make an informed, consensual decision.' In other words, you didn't give them a choice. What word other than rape describes your actions?"

"I am not a fucking rapist! It wasn't like that."

"Did you know any of these people?"

"No-"

"Did they know you?"

"No-"

"Time and again you seem to have no moral consideration for the well-being of those who are not under your care. How is it that you are able to empathise with a suffering 'Space Whale' enough to give it a mercy death and yet you cannot empathise with your victims?"

**Victims? What the fuck? It wasn't like – well I didn't mean for it to be like that. Ok, Owen, that sounds more pathetic than you ever thought you could be. **

**It wasn't a malicious thing. It was a… ok, it was a fucking lazy arse thing. I was too lazy to make an effort. I wanted a fuck, but I didn't want to pay for it. **

_Ianto said you didn't mean it like Blaine meant it. That you're not as bad as Blaine. And maybe you're not. But did you ever wake up next to one of those women and consider how they would feel when they woke up and realised what had happened to them. What if they were married, or in a committed relationship? How did you make them feel when they realised they'd cheated. Is that why you shagged Cooper? _

"That Space Whale was in agony, it was being butchered by a bunch of wankers who were using it for profit. There was no way to get it home. It was the only thing left to do."

"That still doesn't answer my question."

"Well what the hell do you want me to say? There is no justification for it! I was bored, I was lazy, and I did something that wasn't right. I'm sorry, all right."

… _Wow. That was actually not a bad answer. Still doesn't justify him, but at least he admits it. Maybe there's a better side to him… the space whale would seem to indicate that. _

**Would she stop staring at me like that! She's acting like she's not sure what to make of me. Honestly Ianto what the hell do you see in her? How do you even know her? **

"Give your reasons for initiating the mutiny that led to the release of the creature Abaddon."

**Oh for fuck's sake! **

"I was being manipulated by Billis into thinking it was the right thing to do."

"You were the one who opened the Rift originally, for reasons of, as it appears on the reports, revenge against the Rift –an inanimate special and temporal phenomenon- for the Time Refugee Diane Holmes deciding to fly into the Rift of her own volition. Were you being manipulated then as well?"

"Ye-well, not as much but I had to get Tosh and Jack back! They were trapped in the past, I had to do something."

"You would rather risk the world than let them stay in the past?"

"Yes – no! Wait, that's not fair."

_Oh for the love of God, grow up Michaela! You're gonna fuck them all over if you don't try to help them. Get over yourself, and try to help him. You didn't do it right with Gwen and Tosh, but they might be ok. Harper on the other hand is completely screwed if you can't get him to prove himself as a good man. If nothing else Ianto's counting on you to do it, and unlike him, you try to keep promises. _

"Dr. Harper, please don't get defensive. I'm just trying to understand your justification for risking the planet in order to save two people. Why were Agent Sato and Captain Harkness so important that the planet needed to be risked? Were they that vital to ensure the future safety of the planet?"

_Say yes Harper. It'll save you._

"No! I did it because she's my friend and he's my captain. You may not understand the idea of wanting to save someone because you care about them, but I do."

**Cold hearted bitch. And I thought Yvonne Hartman was bad. **

_Shite! Harper you idiot! Ok, move on quickly, but don't ask him about why he insisted Ianto be executed for the Cyberman. It'll only make things worse. Skip on to the question after it. _

"It's been recently revealed that you and Agent Jones are brothers. Why did you not reveal this upon Agent Jones' arrival?"

"It was a personal thing. We hadn't spoken in years. Didn't even recognise him at first. When I realised it was him, I didn't care."

**I really didn't. I hated him so much for ignoring dad, for getting the better life, the privileged life. At least, I used to. Bet Ianto loves that I only stopped hating him when his shitty life came out to the world.**

_Ianto missed you. I know he did. He found it hard to talk about you, but when I got to know him, I started to figure out when he was thinking about you. He'd get this sad look on his face, more regretful than pained. He wanted to make up with you, but never knew how. Too much damage between you. _

_I knew you worked for Torchwood 3 before he did, you were hired three months before him. Archie wanted to send Ianto straight to Cardiff when he brought him onto the Torchwood system, for the very job he does now with the Archives. But I told him you were here, and let Archie decide if it was a good idea or not. After all, I didn't want you to kill each other or something like that. I'd hoped Ianto would stay with me, but Archie wouldn't have it. I don't know why really._

"It didn't occur to you that these issues you clearly have between you could have an effect on your performance at work or on the field?"

"It hasn't. We work well enough together, we get the job done. Our relationship doesn't affect our work."

"Recent events do seem to prove the contrary."

_No one would blame you if it did affect you. It's how you let it affect you that can cause consequences. You loved Diane Holmes and wanted her back, you cared about Ianto and wanted to punish Ivor Jones for his cruelty. I get that. I do. But how can I say that to you without being direct?_

_I need you to give me an answer where you admit you made mistakes, but you've learned from them. That you're trying to fix it. I saw the Thunderbird 3, I know you are. But you have to tell me. _

"Look, I was angry, I was upset about what I found out! I did what I thought was right."

"You tortured a civilian for purely personal reasons after using Torchwood property to determine his supposed guilt."

"Supposed? There was nothing supposed about it!"

_You know that, I know that. UNIT and the UN don't know that. There's no proof except Ianto's memories now. _

**Ianto hasn't told you a fucking thing about himself, and you come in here thinking you know what you're talking about!**

"What evidence did you have? And even with evidence, you cannot abuse Torchwood authority to torture someone, even if you think they deserve it."

_God Almighty did he deserve it. _

**He did deserve it! **

"It wasn't me! It was Harkness who decided we should do it. And Ianto stopped us. And he made the bastard disappear."

"I'm only interested in you right now Dr. Harper, not Agent Jones or Captain Harkness."

"Look, I didn't do any of the torturing, ok?"

"But neither did you stop Captain Harkness."

_Come on Harper, please. You have to tell me that you did it because you were upset, it's a loophole we can exploit. Emotions are useful in situations like this, even if UNIT doesn't approve of them. _

"…I didn't stop him because I didn't want to."

**That's a lie, I did want to. But I was afraid he'd turn that anger on me. Jack's fucking scary when he's pissed off. **

_Oh God. I want to bury my head in my arms, but I don't. I think I should get him out of here before he says anything else. _

"I think that'll do. Interview end."

_Click_

_Why's he looking at me like that?_

**I know who she is! It's been bugging me since I first heard she was from Two. Suzie told me all about Jack's little bed bunny that week. Wonder how arrogant she'd be if she heard what Suzie had thought of her, of the jokes Jack had made for a week, before moving on to someone else? Fucking bitch, she's just making things worse and I bet she's enjoying it. **

"So… when do I get my blowjob?"

"… excuse me?"

"Well, I figured, since you've fucked Jack and probably shagged Ianto, I must be next. Can you shag Gwen after? If she'll have you of course. I just think she'd look amazing shagging another woman, and since you're the Torchwood slut-"

"I'm fairly sure that's you Dr. Harper! Now leave."

_Oh God, oh God, don't think about it. Blaine pinning me down. Oh fuck you Harper!_

**She looks like she's about to cry. Well good. Now she can feel as bad as the rest of us do at the moment. **

**Ianto's turn in a few minutes. He'll see what she's doing to the team, and what he's done to us. Maybe then he'll feel like having a bloody conversation with us. **

* * *

Reviews are like gold. They also cheer me up when I'm feeling low.

Night's Darkness


	30. Chapter 27 Ianto

Hey! See, I said Ianto's would be done soon. *dances* I have to admit even I didn't expect the ending of this chapter. Hope everyone enjoys.

Also, (for LJ readers) Yellow might seem an odd choice, but apparently, too much yellow can result in fits of anger, so it seemed appropriate for Ianto considering his recent temperament. If the colour seems really wrong, let me know and I'll change it to something else.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 27.4**

_(19__th__ September 2008)_

**Why do I have to be here? Why do I have to do this in the Hub? The house would have been fine. Michaela better not be trying to make me interact with the team, because I'm not going to. I don't care if I sound like a child, at the moment if I see Owen or Jack I'm bound to punch them in the face. I don't want to punch them, I feel bad enough about what I did to Jack, but I don't trust myself to not resort to physical stuff. It's what I do, either I lash out at others or I lash out at myself. I'm better at lashing out at myself, but I promised Michaela I wouldn't go out and get fucked. And I'm not a cutter. It's too cliché. **

**My phone beeps, it's 'kaela, she wants me in the hub. Why didn't she call me? She said she'd call me. She'd only not call me if she was too upset to talk. **

**Owen went before me, I know that. If he's said something to upset her I'll kill him! **

**Ok, lets get this over with. **

~*~

Jack watched Owen stride out, sour faced and red cheeked. Michaela looked shaken and pale. Jack shook his head, feeling hopeless and helpless. Two feelings he did not like or experience often.

Gwen went to Owen and started to pester him. Owen quickly started speaking, a sneer on his face as he no doubt recounted his interview. Then he leaned in and said something with a leer on his face, gesturing to Michaela, then Jack. Then he made a rude gesture that got Gwen snorting in derision. Oh great, Owen remembered what Suzie had told him. No wonder Michaela looked upset.

The cog door's alarms went off, making them all jump as one. Jack leapt out of his seat as he realised who this must be and ran to his office door. Tosh got to her feet and Owen and Gwen both turned towards the noise.

The cogwheel rolled away and Ianto stepped inside. He was wearing his jeans and a black t-shirt with white writing on it saying 'Hoffi coffi'. He was also wearing a scowl fit to kill as he ignored the team completely and looked straight up at the board room, where Michaela was shuffling papers. If Jack didn't know better he'd say she was ignoring Ianto.

Oh right, no doubt she was waiting for Jack to try and talk to him first.

"Ianto." he said, feeling speechless for once in his life.

"Sir." said Ianto, not really looking at him. Jack sighed, this was so difficult. And it wasn't all his fault.

"How've you been?"

"Fine sir."

"I told you to drop the sir. Recent events haven't changed that." said Jack, trying not to sound exasperated. Ianto nodded,

"Understood sir."

Jack repressed a sigh as Gwen approached Ianto. He glanced up at Michaela and was surprised to see she looked annoyed as she stared at Ianto. She caught Jack staring at her and rolled her eyes at him as if sharing his feelings of frustration. Jack felt his lips quirk in a smile for a second, before he remembered why she was there. This wasn't three years ago and he wasn't about to try and make her laugh in the middle of Yvonne's rants by playing footsie with her. Things were far more complicated now. He turned away from her and missed the sad expression that passed over her face. Then she returned to her papers.

~*~

"So Ianto… you been keeping ok?" asked Gwen, trying not to fidget under Ianto's sharp gaze.

"Fine."

"Good, good, um… so, how –um, when did you… uh…."

"What Gwen?"

"How do you know that –I mean, how do you know Michaela?" Gwen gestured behind her in Michaela's general direction.

"She's my friend. We met when we were eighteen. She helped me get the job with Torchwood, helped me get off the streets."

"Oh… you were on the streets?" Gwen's eyes widened at the idea, it was horrible to imagine Ianto sleeping rough like the teens she'd seen during her time as a PC. They'd all been so sad and bitter, most of them turning to drugs.

"Just for a few weeks, in Glasgow. It was nothing."

"Oh, well-"

"When's this interview to start?"

"She –she has to call you I think. It's how we've known to go up."

"Right."

Ianto shifted from foot to foot, glaring at nothing as he waited. Gwen silently screamed at the other three to say or do something to help her. But Owen was standing on the opposite side of the Hub, standing in the exact same manner, and looking everywhere but at Ianto. As far as Owen was concerned, Ianto had to make the next move. Owen had tried with the Thunderbird. Now it was up to Ianto.

Tosh, meanwhile, didn't think she could look at Ianto without blowing up and screaming at him for putting this threat on her head. She'd told him about her experience with UNIT in confidence, he had to know how she felt about all this.

**It's like someone died in here. All awkward and unpleasant. What the hell is taking so long? Lets get it done so we can end this. Gwen keeps looking at me with those big green eyes, all but begging me to say something. But what can I say? There is nothing to say. Look at the damage that's already been done. **

"Ianto, time for your interview."

**At last! Took her long enough. I side-step Gwen and hurry up the steps, ready to get this over with. I sit down in front of her, but she doesn't start the interview. Instead she says, **

"Couldn't you at least try to talk with them?"

"There's nothing to say."

"There's a million things to say, you're just too bloody stubborn to say them."

"What's the matter with you?"

"Me? Nothing! Long day is all."

**We stare at each other for ages, and I get a strange sense of distance between us. I know we're not teenagers anymore, and we're not together, but I haven't noticed this weird tension between us like I'm not quite reading her right before. **

_One of the things that I'm hating about all of this –aside from having the fate of five people on my shoulders- is how you think I haven't changed. I can see it on your face every time I do something different. Whether it's clothes, or attitude or tattoos, you don't like it. You expected me to stay the same, to be at your beck and call, and I have been, for so long… does that make all of this my fault?_

"Ahem! Ok, let's go, Interview start."

_Click_

"Name and function at Torchwood."

"Ianto Jones, General Support and Archivist, as well as field agent."

"When did you join Torchwood?"

"In 2005."

"How did you come to know of it's existence?"

"I was hired on as a helper for the Archivist of Torchwood Two in moving the larger objects and helping organise some of the archives. Eventually I was transferred to Torchwood One."

**This is a lie, I was never officially working at Torchwood Two. Archie hired me and sent me straight down to One months after I first started helping you in the House. I'd almost started living there when Archie got me the job down in London. You cried when I left. I remember that. **

"How long did you work for Torchwood One."

"I worked there for two years. Until it was destroyed by the Cybermen and Daleks."

**I met Lisa within a month of moving to London. Was head over heels in love with her in another month. Was beginning to plan on proposing when those things showed up.**

_For two years I listened to you talk about Lisa. You were so in love with her. I told Jack that I expected you'd tear the world apart to be with her. Talk about foreshadowing, eh? And now you're with Jack. _

_You have an ability to draw people to you, to make them love you. Jack, Lisa, Me. How do you do that? _

"At which point you went to Torchwood Three and asked for a job?"

"Yeah."

"Did you get one?"

"Not straight off. I had to convince Captain Harkness to give me the job."

"What eventually got you the job here?"

"A pterodactyl. I think because I didn't hurt her, because I didn't want to experiment on her, I convinced Captain Harkness that I wasn't like the Torchwood One higher ups. So he hired me."

**I remember watching Myfanwy fly around, trying to shake Jack off her. I remember Jack shouting for me, and laughing like he was Peter fucking Pan or something. I remember catching him when he dropped, and suddenly having him pinning me down. The next second I was on top of him. **

**I bet Jack thinks I pulled away because of Lisa, and yes, I did. But more than that, I was frightened by the strange urge I had to kiss him. I wanted him. That had terrified me. **

**I don't fuck men. I let men fuck me. But I don't actually enjoy it, at least, not until Jack. Until Jack anything I'd done with a guy hadn't gotten me even a little hard. I was so sure I'd only ever wanted women. I enjoyed the pain, the satisfaction of manipulation, but I never got a sexual release from it. **

"You were put in the Archives due to previous experience, rather than being an active field agent?"

"Yes. They were in a bad state, and I'd been trained by the Torchwood Two Archivist. I was able to get it into acceptable shape within a few months. Since then I've been involved in assisting Agent Sato with the computer systems, I ensure the team has food and drink, and recently I've become an active field agent rather than a backup."

"But why did you return to Torchwood after Canary Warf? Out of 27 survivors, only you continued to work for this organisation."

_So here we are. You don't want to talk about this, I can tell. But it's too important to glance over. But I know how to protect you, because it's so clear. _

**I really don't want to talk about Lisa in front of you, not about how I was so blind to the truth. I've already told you so many times. I've cried down the phone to you, refused your offers that you'll come down for me, let you convince me to give Jack another chance.**

"I… I needed the Hub's technology. I had to… My girlfriend, Lisa Hallet, she was still alive after being partially converted. I… I got her out of Canary Warf. I had to try to make her better, I thought I could. I hid her in the basement of the Hub."

"So you hid a partially converted Cyberman inside the Cardiff base. Were you not aware of the danger the Cybermen posed?"

"Of course I was! I'd seen what they did. How they'd massacred people."

"So why did you risk it?"

"Because I… I didn't want to let anyone else die because of the Cybermen, I didn't want to loose her. I loved her."

**I still do**

_You still do_.

"How long was it down there?"

**It? Don't call her it! It's not right to call her it. Her name was Lisa. **

"Eight months."

"And until you brought in Dr. Tanizaki, and the Cyberman became separate from its life support, no one else ever knew it was there?"

"No. I was able to keep her hidden, covering up for any issues her support system caused with the power levels."

_It must have been lonely for you. Why didn't you tell me? I would have tried to help._

**I wanted to tell you. But you'd done so much for me, I didn't want to get you involved. I knew it was dangerous.**

_Maybe you just didn't trust me enough. _

"And when it was discovered, what did Captain Harkness do?"

"He… He killed… he terminated her. She was a danger to the world and… and he did what was needed."

"Did you receive any counselling after Canary Warf, or after the Cyberman was stopped? Have you even had any form of it here, from Dr. Harper, or Captain Harkness?"

"No. Nothing. There was a once over by someone before I was able to go straight after the battle, but after that, there was nothing."

**Except late night calls to you. You were the one who organised the counselling for the others. Jack didn't care, but you did. You keep a list, of the survivors' names. And you call them every three months to ensure they're coping. Me included.**

_I tried to get you to speak to counsellor, but you wouldn't and when I pushed you you stopped answering the phone to me. I had to be the only one you talk to. A self made position I crafted so you couldn't cut me out completely. _

"Since then, you've become a more active field agent. Did Captain Harkness train you?"

"Yes."

"In what?"

"Firearms, physical combat, stuff like that."

**And we had fun doing it. Especially physical combat. It usually ended in a different kind of physical activity. **

_Look at that smile trying to creep free. Stubborn eejit, just talk to Jack! You don't need me to be here, not really. All I'm doing is making things more painful, and I don't want to. _

"Why did you participate in the mutiny?"

"I… I saw Lisa again, she told me people would die if I didn't open the Rift. I didn't want anyone else to die."

"You disagreed with Agent Cooper regarding a mission to the Himalayas. You felt you should stay here, why?"

"Because someone needed to look after the Hub, the animals and the Rift."

**And keep an eye out for Jack. **

"Several days ago, Captain Harkness ordered you to remain in the Hub and not leave. He kept you in some kind of incarceration for three days. Why was this?"

**Oh God, please don't ask me to go over this again. **

"It was… personal."

"Personal?"

"Yes, personal!"

_Don't get angry with me. I have to ask the questions._

"It was to do with your brother, Dr Harper, yes?"

"Yes! It was something that just got out of hand! I shouldn't have to discuss it with you like this. It's none of UNIT's or the UN's business."

**I want to shout at her, but instead, I stand up and head for the door.**

~*~

Michaela jumped to her feet as Ianto stormed towards the door.

"Ianto come back here!"

"Make me!" snapped Ianto spinning around to face her, "You drag me back here against my will and I told you I wasn't gonna talk to them. But you told them didn't you! They were waiting for me. You set me up."

"Don't be stupid, they were waiting because I listed the order you were coming in. They want to talk to you but you're being too self-centred and stubborn to try! It's like you're too scared to let them near you in case you remember just how much they mean to you, how much Jack means to you."

"What do you know!" exploded Ianto, beyond furious, "You spend all your time holed up in a big empty house waiting for someone to call you!"

Michaela paled and her eyes widened. Ianto spun on his heels and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

This time, no one from the team came near him as he strode down the steps and out the cogwheel door.

The team watched in shock as he left, then they glanced up at Michaela. She looked down at them, then away at the table. Swallowing, she reached out and pressed the recorder's button.

_Click_

* * *

See why I said fits of anger? Ianto's being so stubborn, but Jack's behaving himself and is about half way done. Is anyone else looking forward to this chapter being done? Lol.

Night's Darkness


	31. Chapter 27 Jack

Rightyoh!! The final part of 27 has last! Hope you enjoy it, it's a little different to the others. I just felt for Jack it was better suited.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 27.5**

_(19__th__ September 2008)_

Jack tapped his fingers on the desk, his other hand propping his head up. Things had been quiet and still since Ianto had left in a blaze of fury. Michaela hadn't called for Jack and considering she'd been holding her head in her hands for the past five minutes, no doubt it would be a while before she did. Ianto's words hadn't been clear, but it was clear that things were not as good as Jack had thought between those two, anymore than they were in the team. He glanced at his watch and was astonished to find that it was only just half one. How had things gone so slowly?

A knock made him jump. It was Michaela,

"Hey Ja –Captain. I'm going to go grab some lunch –and some air." she added with some irony as she gestured to the cigarette box in her hand. Jack frowned, trying to remember if he could remember seeing her smoke before. "Anyway, I'm, uh, I'll be back in about an hour and then your interview will take place. I'm half afraid if I do it now something will explode."

"Yeah, maybe best to give everyone a cooling off period." agreed Jack, his tone cool. Michaela nodded,

"Yeah… although, also best not to leave it too long, eh? Just drive everyone up the wall and all that, the waiting."

"Maybe." Jack raised his eyebrows at her when she didn't move for a few seconds, like she had more to say. Then she turned on her heels and hurried out, side-stepping Owen and ducking her head as she went.

Owen watched her go and then snorted as the cogwheel rolled back.

"Ianto sure took the wind outta her sails!"

Jack couldn't help but agree.

~*~

The team had lunch down around the couch, since Michaela had taken their usual eating place. They were quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Gwen seemed especially subdued, but then, maybe that was just because she was the usual conversation starter. Jack, usually full of words and stories, felt useless. There really was only one thing to talk about, but he wasn't sure he wanted to ask. But the silence was unbearable.

"So… how did everyone's interviews go?"

"She's a cow!" snapped Owen.

"Ok I guess." mumbled Tosh.

"I dunno, it wasn't fun at any rate." sighed Gwen. Then, tapping her foot on the floor with nerves, she said, "Jack… I don't understand. I know you told me that Torchwood Two was still active and… well we knew where it was, but… how can they have authority over us."

"They don't. Not Torchwood Two itself, although it is important to remember that just because they don't have a Rift doesn't mean they're not important-"

"Yes it does." muttered Owen. Jack glanced at him in frustration before continuing.

"Torchwood Two acts as the main archive of the Torchwood Institute. Each base had it's own but the really dangerous stuff, the very large things, stuff that just had to be given that extra level of protection, was always sent to Two. The building looks exactly as it did when Queen Victoria founded the Institute from the outside, but inside, you wouldn't believe the tricks they've pulled in it. The archives are nearly half the size of Cardiff."

"What? Really?" Gwen looked amazed, and Owen looked up from his meal. Good, Jack had their attention. "How?"

"Built underground, like a very sophisticated bomb shelter."

"And, what, she's in charge of it?" Gwen gestured at the door.

"Not Michaela, Archie. He's technically head of the entire Torchwood Institute. He outranks me officially."

"But unofficially…?"

"We're equals."

"What about her?"

"Archie's getting on, and he doesn't age as well as I do. Michaela does all the work I think, but Archie's still in charge. I think she was hired the same year as Tosh, so she's either above or below you on the level of authority, I'm not sure. But with this whole investigation, it's not to do with who out ranks who, it's about preventing abuses of power. And if I or Archie had been more proactive and called one of these investigations down on Yvonne Hartman, then maybe we could have prevented Canary Warf."

"Is that why this is happening, because this Archie guy's afraid you're gonna start playing with ghosties?" asked Owen, raising an eyebrow dubiously. Jack fixed him with a level gaze.

"Maybe not me, but others might, say to find out truths about brother's step-fathers."

"That's just the Ghost Machine, not actual ghosts!"

"Regardless, you can't blame Archie for being cautious. I'm starting to think all of this is less to do with Ianto and what's happened recently and more to do with a gathering problem Two's found with how we handle things."

"We handle things just fine."

"Not always, especially not last year. Look, this is something I'd do if I felt Two was in trouble. It's supposed to be a way of keeping us from going too far. It's also part of the contract in UNIT/Torchwood relations. That's the reason it's so important that we do well. Archie might not shut us down, but UNIT won't hesitate to. They could if they could get the UN to talk to the government. The government could shut us down, never mind our motto about being outside it."

"That just means we can resort to things the government couldn't to get the job done." said Tosh, picking at her food. Clearly someone was feeling morose.

"So… this isn't about Ianto?" asked Gwen, frowning.

"Not completely. Maybe it was the tipping factor, but it can't be the whole thing. Archie's not petty or vindictive like that."

"What about your bed bunny?"

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose, "Are you that immature?"

"So you did sleep with her? Why?" Gwen looked disgusted.

"I'm not talking about this." said Jack, sighing, "It doesn't change anything."

"You sure?"

"Of course! Just because you didn't realise it, doesn't mean Michaela has forgotten. Now drop it!"

They went quiet, and ate in silence. Jack finished his food and then went up to his office. He rooted through his desk and pulled out some strong painkillers for his growing headache.

It was another twenty minutes before Michaela came back. Her cheeks were pink from the bay wind, but she still looked pale under it. She hurried up the stairs and sat down, rummaging through everything with much less care. Jack knew she wanted this over with as fast as possible. Jack felt the same. He finished his work and sat waiting for her to call him, ready to get this done.

"Captain Harkness!"

Jack got to his feet and stepped out of his office.

"It's time for your interview.

Jack nodded and made his way up to the room, closing the door carefully behind him. Michaela fiddled with her pen, then gestured to the chair before her.

"Please, sit."

Jack sat, linking his fingers and resting his forearms on the table. Michaela looked at the table as she fiddled some more, biting her lip. There was something on her mind, Jack recognised the look. He was about to ask when she looked up at him and said in a rush,

"I'm sorry for hitting you!"

"Huh?"

"I… I'm sorry I slapped you when I first arrived. I was… I shouldn't have… but I was angry. And…" she gave a self-depreciating smile, "I have a bit of a blind spot when it comes to Ianto."

"Oh."

"In fairness, I didn't know why you'd locked him up or… or anything really. He was just so upset and, well, like I said, blind spot."

Jack found himself smiling, "I get that. Believe me, I do."

Michaela gave him a shy smile, "I am sorry for hitting you. And… I know you and the others might not believe me, but I am sorry about all this stuff with… well." She gestured to all the paper in front of her.

"Yeah." Jack believed her. She was a very bad liar, she wore her feelings on her sleeve. But it didn't mean it was all alright.

Michaela licked her lips nervously and then cleared her throat.

"Right then! Lets get this over with. Interview start."

_Click_

~*~

"Ok, name and function."

"Jack Harkness, commander of Torchwood Three."

"How long have you been in command?"

"Since January 1st 2000, so almost 9 years."

"You took over after the murder suicide of the rest of the previous team, by former leader Alex Hopkins. You rejected offers of assistance from Torchwood One and UNIT, saying you would form your own team, and that you were severing all ties to Torchwood One. Why?"

"I didn't agree with their attitude. It treated all aliens as threats and if not threats, then second-class citizens or slaves to be used as they saw fit."

"You feel your attitude is better?"

"I don't see everything alien as a threat. I'm willing to give aliens a chance to prove themselves well intentioned. It doesn't mean I'll let any threat do harm if I can stop it."

"Why did you hire Toshiko Sato?"

**Sweet, beautiful Toshiko. So brilliant, so inventive, so alone. She had such potential, and while I only saw it callously at first, it did not take me long to fall for her sweet nature, to see how fragile and beautiful she is and how it compliments her intelligence so perfectly. **

"I thought her intelligence would be a useful asset in the field. I needed someone who was able to think outside the box and could be creative about technology. It's the only way to handle alien tech."

"Why did you hire Owen Harper?"

**Owen Harper the pain in the ass. Owen Harper the most obnoxious man I've ever met in many respects. Owen Harper the unequivocally brilliant doctor with a genuine desire to help as well as learn. **

"He was a passionate doctor. I didn't want someone cold and clinical. I wanted someone who would push and fight and ask about what he saw."

"Why did you hire Ianto Jones?"

**Because he wouldn't leave me alone until I did. Because he showed he cared about Myfanwy as an animal, and wanted to save her, not kill her. Because he was pretty and I needed someone to do the grunt work he was desperate to do that I didn't want to bother with. **

"The Archives needed someone to sort them out. Someone with the proper training."

**Training you gave him. What else have you given him? That look on your face when he stormed out –he's doing that way too much lately- tells me you've given him a lot.**

"Why did you hire Gwen Cooper?"

**Partly because she's like Owen –never gonna say that to her though. She doesn't give up, she was desperate to find out what we did and who we were, rather than rationalise away what she'd seen with the Risen Mitten. And she cares. She wanted to find out who was killing the people, and wanted to use Torchwood tech in ordinary life to help people. I admired that, so I tested her with the Ret-con. **

"We need a police liaison. Lots of things that happen with aliens in Cardiff the police get involved in first."

**Now why is she looking at me like that? **

"Why did you hire Suzie Costello?"

**Because she was as smart as Tosh, but stronger and sterner and I needed someone to call me on my crap when I needed it. Like Gwen does now when I'm being callous, I needed Suzie to reign me in when I got too emotionally involved in the issue.**

"I wanted someone who was brilliant and strong and focused, to help meld everything into a coherent form. Such qualities make for a good second in command."

"In regards to Suzie Costello, how was it that you didn't see that she was murdering people? It's one thing to not notice that your employees are stealing Torchwood property –some of it dangerous –but it's another thing entirely to miss someone you know turn into a psychopathic killer."

**Yikes, straight into the big ones. Well, honestly, I don't know why I didn't notice, I should have. But Suzie was always so involved and focused on her projects, this one didn't seem any different, except the glove was more dangerous. I should have put it away when I realised what it did. But Suzie pestered me to let her keep studying it. **

**I don't like change. Maybe I chose not to see the change in my carefully built, very, very dysfunctional team. **

"Suzie was obsessive about everything. I always thought she knew where the line was to be drawn. Apparently the glove got the better of her. I should have seen it, but I didn't. And I regret that, really I do. But Suzie was clever, and it was more than just an obsession, as we found out later on when we revived her."

"And what about Ianto Jones hiding a Cyberman in the basement of the Hub? How did you miss that? The drain on the power, the fact that he stayed so late every night, all the signs that must have been there. If Ianto Jones had received no counselling, and it seems clear he did not, why did you not keep a closer eye on someone who'd been through something as traumatic as Canary Warf?"

**Oh God, I don't even want to think about Ianto right now. He's taken up so much of my mind lately. And thinking about that Cyberman just pisses me off. Ianto lied his way into the team, flirted with me to keep me distracted. I was so furious at how he played me. And remembering it will not help the now. **

"I didn't think he would have been capable of doing what he did. And he seemed to be coping so well, the fact that he wanted to keep working for Torchwood seemed to me an indication that he was pretty stable. On reflection, I shouldn't have been so blasé about it. But afterwards I kept an eye on him and did my best to help him through it all."

**Did you try to help him? Or did you not know anything about it?**

"Gwen Cooper, she seems to have no regard for your authority. Why is that? And why does it seem that you continuously let her get away with violating procedures and going against orders whereas you don't seem to have as big an issue with the others."

"I encourage my team to voice their opinions freely."

"It's one thing to have an opinion and to voice it and another thing entirely to do your own thing when you've been given an order. Yet you seem to have no inclination to discipline her. You even threw away a rule designed to protect your team, the organisation, yourself and civilians by not Ret-conning Rhys Williams. Tell me Captain, are you so blinded by some boyish infatuation that you'll let her walk all over you and carry on as if she's above the other members of your team, despite the fact that she hasn't done her job of liaising with the Police properly and time and again has shown a complete lack of respect for everything about your leadership and the Torchwood organisation?"

… **Crap. **

"I admit I didn't enforce the rules with Gwen concerning Rhys, but Torchwood needs her."

"Why? I have heard enough from Detective Swanson that relations with the police have degraded since she joined."

"Gwen reminds this team that there is more out there than aliens, that a normal life is possible. This isn't a 'boyish infatuation' or anything like it. I just knew Gwen would be a good asset. She cares, she keeps us from being too clinical and cold. And she needs Rhys to care. And to keep Rhys she had to let him know the truth."

**Ok, by the rolling of your eyes, I'm guessing you know more than you're gonna say about Gwen's activities in Torchwood. No doubt you know about Gwen and Owen, but, I did hire Gwen for the purpose I've shown, and yes, maybe I am more lenient with her than others, but she doesn't show a complete lack of respect for my leadership. Does she?**

"You yourself seem to have a distinct lack of ability to follow orders. You would probably know them better than most and yet you didn't follow procedure for Toshiko Sato's actions in bringing in a dangerous alien into the Hub. You also didn't follow procedure when you discovered the Cyberman brought in by Ianto Jones."

"What procedure?"

"It is clearly stated that if an individual threatens the safety of this planet knowingly, then they must either be Ret-conned or executed. Instead he came into work the very next day as if nothing had happened. Why was that?"

**What do you care? You should be glad, you just admitted you have a blind spot for Ianto, you're in love with him for God's sake, why are you asking me –no! Jack, focus. She has to ask. It doesn't matter what she feels about it, she has to ask. **

"Ianto made a mistake, but I should have seen what he was doing. It was as much my fault as his, and he has the excuse of being traumatised. I didn't think it was fair to punish him for loving someone so much you'd do anything to save them."

"But he could have put the whole world in danger."

"Yes, but he didn't mean to, nor did it happen. I was able to stop it before that could happen and I terminated it."

"Before you did you ordered Agent Jones to shoot it."

"Yes. But that was a mistake. It was unnecessarily cruel. I realised that in half a minute after I sent him, so we followed to do it ourselves."

**How do you feel about that? I can't tell. Was a little part of you happy she was dead? Or did you just feel sad for Ianto? **

"Captain, after the appalling handling of the situation with Bilis Manger and Abbadon, you disappeared for three months, without any warning."

"I had to go, I needed to get answers from the Doctor. I had no more warning he was going to arrive than the others had to me leaving."

"You were waiting. And in all that time of waiting you didn't think to leave a note to explain your leaving, you didn't leave any kind of command structure, so your lowest ranking, least experienced team member tried to assume command, and you didn't leave any advise to anyone who would take over."

… **Got me there. **

"I thought I'd have time, and I didn't know when the Doctor was going to show up. It could have been another twenty years. I didn't know."

"But you never planned for the team that you assembled and isolated from UNIT, Torchwood One and Two, about what would happen to them when you left."

"No! Ok, no! But I always planned on coming back. I thought I could come back right around the time I'd left. The Doctor travel's in a time ship!"

**I didn't plan on coming back until after the Valiant and the Master. While I was there I realised how much I missed the team, how much they meant, all of them. But I did come back especially for Ianto. He's one of the few people who can see past my bad deeds and accept me… at least he was.**

"What were your reasons for locking Ianto inside the Hub?"

**Is she aware she called him Ianto, not Agent Jones?**

"I felt he was a danger to himself, to the safety of the team, I wanted to try and break him free of the problems he was having and then I would have let him go."

**That was my plan, and it all went to shit. Why hasn't she asked me about Ivor Jones? Is she avoiding it to spare me? Nah, she wouldn't do that… would she? **

"I think that's all we need. Thank you Captain. Interview End."

_Click._

**She would. **

~*~

Jack stared at Michaela, and she gave him a forced smile. "I'll write up everything and… well see how it goes. It shouldn't take more than a few days."

Jack realised she didn't want to write it up. She was afraid they'd fail. And if she was afraid… then Jack should be really worried.

Nodding, Jack stood up and headed to the door. He paused with his hand on the handle. He turned back, surprised to see her watching him.

"Hey… look after Ianto for me, yeah?"

Michaela gave him a little smile, half hidden by her hand cupping her jaw and nodded, "Of course."

Jack smiled back, nodding again in thanks. He turned and stepped out of the room, heading back to his office.

… _I love you. _

* * *

Next chapter should mostly just be Owen and Ianto, for anyone who's missed them dealing with being brothers. It'll be up as so as I can manage it.

Night's Darkness


	32. Chapter 28

Yup! This is a whole new chapter. And it's almost exclusively Ianto and Owen. I hope you enjoy it after such a long period of them not speaking.

* * *

**Chapter 28**

_(19__th__ September 2008)_

Ianto had walked all the way home after his interview and by the time he got inside his house he was still furious.

Why the hell did UNIT have to know his business, and why did she think she could ask him about it? Bloody bitch!

Feeling like a rabid animal that was spitting and snarling, and completely out of control, Ianto went into the kitchen and started some coffee. The smell of the brewing coffee made his shoulders relax back, and his chest expand as he calmed a little. He was still angry, but not so angry he wanted to smash his own house up anymore.

Pouring the coffee into his favourite mug, Ianto sat at the kitchen table and sipped at it, letting the interview run through his head again and again.

Throughout the whole thing he hadn't felt like he was talking to his best friend, it felt like he was talking to a stranger. Someone who he didn't recognise and who didn't know him. The way she'd looked at him had hurt, she'd looked at him like he was just a random person, not someone she was meant to care about. Lisa would never have looked at him like that.

_Lisa._

Ianto looked at the mug he was holding, realising that it was one Lisa had given him so he didn't have to forage for one in the office. It had eventually migrated from his desk to his home, and she'd followed. Living with Lisa had been like a dream. Yes, they'd argued but they'd always made up later and it hadn't made Ianto feel unsure and lost (at least, not by then, in the beginning on the other hand…).

Ianto felt his stomach churn as he realised how much he missed Lisa. Nothing was as good as it had been with her. Jack couldn't be the domestic partner she'd been, and Michaela had never filled him with passion like Lisa had either.

Getting to his feet, Ianto walked into the sitting room and found his photo album. He sat down on the couch and rested it in his lap. Swallowing the last of his coffee, he opened the book and started remembering Lisa. It was different to the last time he'd done this, the grief had been raw, and he'd been so angry. Now he was angry at everything else and here was something he felt nothing but sadness and warm remembrance for.

Each photo was studied and admired, and Ianto lost all track of time. He barely noticed the sound of the front door opening and closing. He was too busy looking at the large photo of him holding Lisa in his arms to look up at Michaela, who he could feel standing in the doorway. He was still angry with her as it was. If he looked at her now, he'd probably just think about how she wasn't Lisa.

"Ianto?"

Ianto ignored her. After a few minutes he heard her turn and walk up the stairs. He didn't hear her come back down.

After an hour more of staring at the photos, Ianto closed the book and got to his feet. He put the album on the mantelpiece, next to the large photo he'd framed of him and Lisa. As he pulled his hand away, his wrist knocked something off the mantelpiece. Frowning, he bent down and picked it up.

It was Thunderbird 3. Ianto stared at it, then flicked the chewed tip a few times with his other hand. Then he put it in his pocket. With a sigh, he walked up the stairs and grabbed his boots, and a jacket against the chilly night air. Then he grabbed something out of the drawer by his bed.

As he went back down the hall, he paused to listen at the guest bedroom door. The lights were off inside and it was all quiet, but Ianto could tell she was in there. A small part of him wanted to go in and check on her. But the larger part was too angry to listen and so he went down the stairs and out the door.

~*~

Owen was on his third scotch and was beginning to wonder if he was becoming a drunk when someone started banging on his door. Owen ignored it. But it didn't stop, quickly becoming a thumping headache in the front of his brain. Growling and swearing to himself, Owen stomped to the door and threw it open.

"What?"

Owen had all of a second to register Ianto standing there, before his brother threw something small at him. Owen caught it on a reflex and glanced at it. His eyes widened.

It was a Thunderbird 2 box, the grey 3 standing out against the green of the box.

Owen stared at it, then looked up at Ianto, his mouth open a little in speechless surprise. Ianto stared back hard, like he was repressing a lot of anger.

"That thing better fit." he snapped, sounding anything but friendly. Owen wasn't sure what to do. It had been days since he'd been face to face with Ianto, not since that morning after Ianto and Jack's all out fight in the Hub.

When Owen didn't move, Ianto rolled his eyes and shoved his way into the apartment. Owen closed the door slowly, half wondering what had just entered his home. He turned in time to see Ianto down his glass of scotch.

"That was mine." He said, almost matter of fact. Ianto cocked an eyebrow at him.

"So? Get another one."

Owen screwed his lips into his cheek in exasperation. This bad-ass attitude was grating on his nerves more than he could believe. But he said nothing as he did get himself another glass and another drink. Ianto meanwhile was looking out the windows, bracing himself against them with one hand above his head. His expression was intense, but Owen couldn't begin to fathom what was going on inside his head.

Then Ianto snorted in dark amusement,

"You've got one of those bloody 2012 Olympics symbols across from you. How appropriate."

Owen scrunched his brow as he came closer, looking down at the billboard. "Appropriate?"

"Yup." Ianto swallowed another mouthful of scotch, "It's perverted and twisted, like you."

Owen narrowed his eyes, "How the hell is four numbers in squiggly font perverted?"

"Because together they look like Lisa Simpson giving Comic Book Guy a blowjob." Ianto turned away from the window and went to sit on the couch while Owen tried desperately to get that image out of his head. He distracted himself by turning and saying,

"Careful! Just because Jack's walking on fucking eggshells with you doesn't mean I will if you keep this bullshit up."

"What bullshit?"

"This self-righteous anger you've been keeping up for days. You've no right to feel it after what you've done."

"What I've done?"

"You set that bitch on us."

"I never asked her to do the fucking review." Ianto stood up again, glaring at Owen, "She's supposed to be with me. She came down here for me, and instead she's spent more time around you and Jack!"

"She shagged Jack, did you know that?"

Owen had no idea why they were doing this, but it was better than silence, and, God help him, but Owen had missed fighting with Ianto.

Ianto snorted, "Of course I know that! She told me."

"What?"

"Friends tell each other stuff! But considering your way of treating women you're probably clueless about how to be friends with one."

"Watch it Ianto! I'm not past punching you."

"Go ahead! Do the same fucking thing everyone else does when they get pissed off." Ianto staggered and Owen realised that he was either drinking on an empty stomach or he'd been drinking before he came here. Either way, this was not going to go well unless Owen actually tried to act like a big brother to his destructive little brother.

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not gonna hit you. That'll do no good, and I'm not gonna let you have a reason to keep being angry."

Ianto glared at him, then sank onto the couch, looking put out. Owen glanced at the toy piece still in his hand. This was a peace offering, Owen was sure, but Ianto was looking for a fight. It was confusing, but Owen realised Ianto was done being sensible. What he wanted wasn't clear, even to Ianto, so he was just acting on his feelings and impulses. Owen had to get him into control. Wasn't that what big brothers were meant to do? Look after the younger one. Maybe Ianto wanted Owen to do that… but if he tried and it wasn't what Ianto wanted –after all he was a fully grown man, not a boy- it would just make things worse.

Christ, what was he meant to do?

"I'm sorry about what happened with Ivor."

Ianto blinked, and then looked up at Owen, almost surprised. Owen sighed, "I shouldn't have let it happen, I shouldn't have told Jack what you told me. It was private-"

"Yes it fucking was!"

Owen flinched, feeling about two inches high under Ianto's angry gaze. "Look, I dunno what you expect me to say, what you expect me to do, but we can't keep fighting, you know that! Why're you being so fucking stubborn about this? After Lisa you came in the next day and-"

"Don't you compare the two! They were completely different."

"What?!"

"I brought that on myself! I got two people killed because I was too fucking blind to see the danger. I didn't mope because I didn't deserve to mope!"

"But you admit you're moping now."

"You forced me to do the worst thing I could ever imagine doing! You destroyed the one barrier I still maintained for myself. You exposed me to the whole team, and made me a fucking victim in front of them. You told Jack something I had buried forever!" Ianto launched himself at Owen and they collided into the windows, which rattled in warning. Ianto fisted his hands into Owen's shirt and lifted him right off his feet. Owen gasped, eyes huge. Ianto looked like he was going to kill him. "You ruined everything I worked for, just to ease your own fucking guilt!"

"_**I'm sorry, Ok!"**_ screamed Owen, grabbing Ianto's wrists. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry's not gonna fix a fucking thing! Sorry won't undo what you told Jack, and then told Gwen and Tosh! Sorry won't take back the fact that you went behind my back and tortured a man who only deserved punishment from me! It was my decision and you didn't give a shit! It was about you, it's always been about you Owen! It was never that I didn't go to dad when he was dying, it was that I wasn't there for you, because you were alone when he was sick and you couldn't handle it. You hated me because you couldn't hate mam now that she's _**dead**_!"

Ianto shoved himself away from Owen and turned away. He strode to the coffee table and poured more scotch into the crystal glass, downing it in one go. Owen, meanwhile, caught his breath and massaged his chest where Ianto had dug in with his knuckles. He swallowed hard, feeling helpless and pathetic. But the toy piece was still in his hand, cutting marks into his palm he was holding it so tight, and Owen had to believe it meant something. So he asked the only thing he could think of,

"What do you want me to do Ianto? What do you want me to say or do to… to at least try and fix this?"

"You can't! Not unless you can take away everything you've done."

"I can't. You know I can't. But there has to be something, anything I can do to at least… at least show you I'm sorry, and that… that I want to try and fix –no, I want to try and make things better. I can't take back what the others know, and I can't undo what's happened between you and Jack, but Ianto there has to be something I can do."

Ianto was quiet for a long time. Owen stood there, feeling desperate for answer. Because there had to be something he could do. It couldn't be irreparable. Owen wouldn't let it be.

Ianto sniffed hard, then turned on his heels abruptly. Owen felt his spine stiffen as Ianto stared at him.

"Ok. You want something to do, to _help_. Then I'll tell you. Forgive her."

"What, Michaela?"

"No! Not her!" Ianto almost spat the words, like Michaela was the last thing he wanted to think about right then. Owen wondered at that, considering the saccharine reunion he'd witnessed. "I'm talking about Mam!"

"Mum?"

"Yes! You have to forgive Mam for leaving you and dad."

"I-"

"If you want me to ever forgive you for what you did, you have to forgive Mam. And I mean really forgive her. You can't just say you do. You have to make peace with her, and let her rest. You do that-" and by the sound of it, Ianto found the idea of Owen managing it laughable, "-and I'll be able to think about forgiving you for what you did. Because it's the only way for you and me to make any headway with this brother shit we have going on."

"By 'brother shit we have going on' I assume you mean 'being brothers'."

"Yeah, _that_." Ianto finished his drink, set the glass on the table, and left the apartment without another word.

Owen ran his hand over his hair, sighing heavily as he wandered over to the couch and sat down. Thoughtfully, he picked up the glass Ianto had just set down and held it in his two hands for a moment, considering it. Then he set it down and dropped the Thunderbird 2 box into the glass. It clinked against the sides and then silence descended on him. Owen sat back and looked out the window, then grimaced and looked away from the 2012 billboard. No way was he looking at that the same way again.

Owen knew he had a decision to make. Forgive his mother, or loose Ianto. But Owen wasn't sure he could. He'd spent so many years hating her and resenting her.

Although Owen was sure there was a deadline of some kind for this decision, he couldn't face making it tonight. So, feeling heavy with exhaustion and depression, he heaved himself to his feet and walked slowly into his bedroom, where he curled up in amongst his purple sheets and fell into a deep sleep.

~*~

Ianto walked home again, feeling pleasantly drunk and unpleasantly emotional. Normally he would have just dealt with it by finding some random bastard, but he didn't feel like it.

As he unlocked his front door, he pressed his hand against himself through his jeans, wondering if the 'old problem' –he was twenty four, he should not be having this at all, let alone have had experiences with it before!- was still there, and was he mad enough to not see if Michaela felt like making up. But there was nothing, not even a stirring in his stomach, let alone beneath. And a small part of his alcohol infused brain screamed in absolute outrage at his callous wonderings about his best friend. And she was his best friend… even if he was mad at her.

Ianto felt so crap and pathetic by the time he actually opened the door that he didn't have the strength of heart to go up the stairs and pass the guest room. So he staggered into the sitting room and curled up on the couch, holding his head.

Ianto knew he wasn't just sliding down a slippery slope, he was barrelling down it like a boulder and descending into the unpleasant sort that he'd associated with Ivor, the guys in the alleys, and on the occasions when he was a really nasty bastard to Tosh, Owen. Ianto had never wanted to be like that but it was fast becoming automatic.

As he began to fall asleep, Ianto promised himself he would make an effort to fight this emerging nastiness before it took over his whole being and changed him irreparably from the person he'd striven so hard to be. The kind, caring, compassionate person Archie and Michaela had helped sow and care for in the beginning, and which Lisa had made grow and flower, and which Jack and the team had kept alive.

Now it was up to Ianto himself to be that person. He was starting to see it wasn't necessarily a choice to be cruel, but an instinct. But if that were true, it left Ianto with one very disturbing question as he finally fell asleep.

What did that mean for Ivor Jones?

* * *

This was a really strange chapter and I feel like Ianto's character is really altering, but I don't know if it can be called OOC.

More soon, and reviews are like chocolate, there can never be enough!

Night's Darkness


	33. Chapter 29

Omg, this chapter is filling me with nerves. Props to Louise (Lux) my awesome beta for putting up with my jittery nerves.

Oh, I can't look, *covers eyes*

* * *

**Chapter 29**

_(20__th__ September 2008)_

Ianto woke up to the sound of Michaela pottering about in the kitchen. With a groan he sat up, feeling stiff and achey in his joints like an old man. He stood up and stretched as much as he could, yawning until his jaw clicked.

Scrubbing his hands over his face, he made his way to the kitchen. Michaela was making coffee, still in her pyjamas. Did that mean she was staying with him today? Ianto felt a sprig of hope flourish in his stomach. All these days on his own were getting to him.

He opened his mouth to say good morning, but something stopped him. He wasn't sure what, but something made him stay quiet as he watched her shoulders tense up as she sensed his entrance. She didn't turn around, just sipped at her coffee, staring at the counter. Ianto furrowed his brow in confusion, then shrugged it off as he went to stand beside her and make his own coffee. He was no sooner next to her than she turned around and started inspecting the floor.

Ianto made his coffee, trying to think of something to say. He didn't feel like apologising, but then again… he had promised not to hate her for the interviews. Did she think he hated her? No, it couldn't be that.

Ianto cleared his throat, despite having nothing to say and Michaela jumped in first, setting down her mug.

"I'm gonna be meeting with Detective Swanson today, at about 3. I'd say the whole thing will take an hour or so, so I'll be back by 5."

"… oh." Ianto felt bitter disappointment crush the hope in his chest. So she wasn't staying here today.

Michaela glanced up at him and Ianto was shocked to see how red her eyes were. She'd been crying, a lot. As Michaela hurried upstairs Ianto closed his eyes, realising that if he'd gone upstairs he would have heard her as he passed the door. Instead he'd crashed on his own couch and dropped off to sleep because he hadn't wanted to pass the door. If he had heard her, he would have gone in and curled up in bed with her.

Not 20 minutes later, Michaela was back down the stairs and gathering her things. Ianto watched her, feeling guilty and bitter. This was all wrong. He wasn't supposed to make her cry and she wasn't supposed to leave him. For a moment Ianto wanted to slam the front door shut and bolt it before she could leave, but he shook his head, reminding himself that Blaine had done that to her and anyway, what right did he have to do it?

The front door closed with a definite bang and Ianto sighed, realising he should have apologised, and now he'd missed the chance. Growling to himself, Ianto let the rabbits loose, and pondered how he was going to fix this. He wasn't about to loose Michaela like he was loosing everything else.

Señor Fluffles came up to him and lifted himself onto his back feet, resting his front paws on Ianto's knee and staring up at him with big brown eyes. Ianto rubbed under his chin, sighing to himself,

"What do I do boy? Eh?"

He thought about his ultimatum to Owen, and wondered how long it would take Owen to make a decision. A few days at least. So maybe he should concentrate on her. He didn't want to loose anyone else. So what would he do to apologise and get her on his side again?

Ianto clicked his fingers as he thought of the perfect thing. He'd make dinner, something she liked, and a big chocolate cake. Then he'd apologise for being so unfair yesterday. She'd forgive him and things would be ok again. Or as ok as they would get all things considered.

A quick survey of his kitchen told him that he needed to go shopping anyway. There was very little food for anyone, human or rabbit.

Ianto put the rabbits away, then washed and dressed, hurrying out the door. He was determined to start making things right. He'd made a start of a sort with Owen last night, but Ianto knew if he wanted to come out of this nonsense with any sanity, he'd need Michaela's support and quiet strength. He'd needed it once and now he needed it again.

~*~

Jack tapped his fingers against the empty mug, willing it to fill with magic elixir known as 'Ianto's coffee'.

His paper work was all caught up because he'd needed to keep busy, he had a gash above his left eye from a Weevil fight and he had a sneaking suspicion Owen was up to something.

The doctor had been subdued and quiet all morning, rolling something small between his palms as he stared into space. So long as he didn't start anything, Jack was happy to leave him to it.

Tosh had been crying again, not that anyone else would notice. But Jack knew her well and he knew when she'd been crying. The only other person who'd notice would be Ianto. And right now Jack wasn't that sure he would have. Gwen was still fuming to herself, and Jack had no doubt she'd be up in his office soon to complain. He loved Gwen, but sometimes she was just too much for him to handle. So vibrant and alive and never shutting up!

Jack got to his feet, mentally willing the Rift to spit out a problem. It had been so quiet lately, it was almost silent. That worried Jack. Was the Rift building to something big? Something they wouldn't be able to handle under the current circumstances.

He walked down and strolled over to Toshiko, resting a hand on her shoulder, more an act of comfort than anything else.

"Anything on the Rift monitors Tosh?"

"No, it's all quiet." said Tosh, sounding resentful. That caught Gwen's attention, and the Welshwoman fixed the Japanese woman with a curious look, desperate for a distraction. Jack patted Toshiko's shoulder,

"Keep me posted. I'm going to see if…" Jack paused, as a familiar scent began to permeate the air. Like animals catching a scent, the whole team lifted their noses and moved their eyes to stare at the small kitchen. There was an older coffee machine there, temporarily replacing the one Ianto had ruined, but none of them had been able to get it to produce more than sludge. Now, it was humming as it spat out what smelled like coffee. And not just any coffee,

"You can make Ianto coffee?" asked Jack, staring at Michaela who glanced up at him, before looking away. It did not allow Jack to miss the red rimmed eyes.

"He showed me how, but mine's not half as good. It works for me when I need to stay awake for twenty four hours to deal with government officials from China to America. You can have it if you want."

Jack approached slowly, as if he was either approaching a threat, or a skittish prey. Not even he was sure which category she fell into. He held out his white and blue stripped mug and Michaela poured some of the fresh coffee into it, for him to try.

The rest of the team watched carefully. This went beyond simple coffee, it wasn't even about coffee. It was about something much bigger. They held their breath as Jack took a sip, keeping his eyes fixed on Michaela, who was biting her lower lip, something she did when she was nervous.

The coffee wasn't up to Ianto's standards, but it was a good deal better than his own, or the others. Jack smiled and held out the mug for more. Michaela smiled bashfully and filled his mug. Something had changed. Jack wasn't sure what, but something was different.

It was only after Michaela put on another pot of coffee for the others and headed back up did Jack realise what it was. It was her, she wasn't acting as cold or ridged. It was as if now she'd finished the interviews, she had dropped the persona of trying to be tough and collected.

But there was an air of defeat there too. Like she'd lost a battle. She and Ianto must have had a fight, because it was that same sadness that Jack had taken advantage of.

The coffee seemed to help disperse some of the tension in the Hub, although it did little to endear the others to Michaela. But Jack, personally, felt less like screaming and more like weeping at the madness of it all.

He also allowed himself to wonder what would have happened had none of this happened and Michaela shown up. It could have been fun. Then again, the emotional baggage between those two could have made it a disaster, so perhaps it was for the best. Still the images in his head cheered him up briefly.

At two, Michaela came to tell him she was leaving and wouldn't be returning until the next day.

"Got plans with Ianto?"

Michaela stared at Jack, as if waiting for the biting sarcasm to catch up with the question. But it didn't and after a minute, she said,

"No. I've got to go to the Police Station and interview Detective Swanson properly. Believe me, the longer that takes the better."

"Everything ok?" asked Jack, genuinely curious.

Michaela gave him a look that clearly asked him how he could ask that. But she still answered, "Ianto's angry with me about yesterday. He's… he's not talking to me. So the longer I take, the happier he'll be I think."

Ouch.

"He's still sulking?"

"He's hurting." corrected Michaela sharply. Jack could see her blind spot creeping up on her, and he quickly dropped the subject.

"Give the Detective my best."

"Sure."

Michaela gave him a small smile and then left. Jack watched her leave, then got to his feet, pondering what he would do tonight to keep himself occupied. He'd caught up on all his paperwork, he'd cleaned out Janet, her friends and Myfanwy, who'd tried to bite him as punishment for not being Ianto. There was nothing to do and nothing he wanted to do. Well… he wanted to talk to Ianto, but he didn't dare make the first move. Ianto would come back when he was ready… wouldn't he? Jack honestly didn't know anymore.

Jack watched as five o'clock rolled around and Gwen, Tosh and Owen quickly filed out. As the cogwheel rolled shut, Jack had the scary thought that, without the Rift being a pain in the ass Torchwood was turning into an office job with funky architecture.

~*~

Ianto sipped at the glass of wine, then drained it, before glaring at clock. It was almost six o'clock. Michaela was late. The Thai curry Ianto had made for her had over-thickened and the smell was now clogging up his nose, rather than clearing it. It had gone cold as Ianto had lost his patience with keeping it heated after half an hour of watching it turn more and more Indian looking.

Ianto glanced at the cake he'd made, and suddenly hated it. He felt like a sissy twat for making it, it was so pathetic. With a growl, he stood up, ready to chuck it, when the door opened and he heard the sound of women's shoes clacking on the wooden floor. He returned to the table and poured another glass of wine, reseating himself and swallowing a mouthful.

Michaela came in looking unsure, but Ianto noticed her cheeks were flushed, as if she was pleased about something.

"Hi Ianto, I –oh!" Michaela looked around at the specially laid out table, the wok-pan full of cold curry, the covered cake and finally, at Ianto himself, "What's all this?"

"You're late. You said you'd be back by five."

Michaela went a little pale at his tone of voice. It was low, angry… dangerous.

"I know, sorry, but I was –I got held up."

She was hiding something. Ianto knew it and when he lifted his eyes and finally met hers, he knew she realised he knew. Licking her lips nervously, Michaela shucked off her coat, which was dripping with rain, from the heavy September storm that had sprung up outside. The droplets fell onto the floor and Ianto narrowed his eyes at them. Michaela glanced down, and more colour left her face. But she forced a smile on her face and asked again,

"What's all this?"

"I made it. I was going to apologise for my behaviour yesterday." said Ianto shortly, looking away. The dark wine glittered as the warm lights above him flashed across it, as Ianto lifted the glass up to drink another mouthful.

"That was lovely of you." Michaela sounded surprised, but pleased.

"Yes… well, fuck all good it's doing now it's all cold."

Michaela's smile dropped.

"Ianto…"

"Why were you late? You said five."

"I know, I know. But I…"

"But you what?" demanded Ianto. He hadn't left his seat, but the energy was visibly gathering around him, waiting for a reason. The glass made a resounding clink against the wood of the table, and the wind whistled by the windows and around the drainpipes outside, as Michaela fumbled with her words and her coat.

"I… Ianto, if I'd… I would have… I'm sorry, I didn't know about this."

"It was going to be a surprise." growled Ianto, glaring at her. Michaela looked on the verge of tears already.

"I'm sorry… if I'd known I'd have come back straight away but when-" she cut herself off, and dragged a hand through her loosened hair.

"When what?" Ianto was nearly trembling with rage at her inability to tell him the truth, almost as angry as he was that she'd broken her promise to be back at five.

Michaela drew in a sharp breath, then said in a rush, "When he asked me to coffee, it was only four, and you didn't want me around, at least that's what I thought and you'd not said anything to me this morning and I just figured you'd want to be alone as much as possible, or at least away from me, so I… said yes."

Ianto stared at her, speechless and feeling the blood leave his face in rage as hers was with fright. Michaela babbled on,

"I meant to only be a little while, but I lost track of time and when I saw it was almost quarter past five I ran without saying bye and then there was a load of traffic and the weather's so bad so it was all so slow and I'm really, really sorry Ianto! I honestly didn't-"

"What the fuck were you doing having coffee with some police twpsyn when you're supposed to be here with me?"

"You wanted nothing to do with me last night and you didn't say a word to me this morning. I thought you didn't want me around."

Ianto jumped to his feet with a clatter of cutlery, "You're supposed to be with me, you came down to be with me, and you're spending all your time with the bloody team and now you spend over an hour with some complete stranger who probably just thought you'd be an easy fuck!"

Some of the colour came back into Michaela's cheeks. "I'm sorry! I didn't know what you'd planned, you know better than anyone that I'd have come on time if you'd told me, or done anything to tell me you'd stopped sulking and hating me for doing my job."

"Fuck your job! Fuck that fucking review! It shouldn't be happening."

"It wasn't my decision, and you know that!"

"Then why aren't you ever here with me?"

"I am! I'm trying, but you won't let me help. I can't help you if you don't want to be helped. I can't do anything if you refuse to do anything but scream, shout and sulk."

"I think I'm allowed to be angry when you can't be arsed to come back on time like you promised for some pisser policeman!"

"I told you, it was an accident! And what does it matter to you if I had coffee with him? Because that's what's really bugging you, I can tell. You hate when I'm with someone, _anyone_, but you. What does it matter if I spend time with other people? I'm allowed to, you can't tell me not to."

"Yes I can because _**you're mine**_!"

_Crash_

The wine glass shattered against the wall, raining down in shards and crimson liquid. Ianto had had enough sense to throw it away from both of them, but it didn't make any difference. What he said had done all the damage.

Ianto breathed heavily, eyes wide as he stared at Michaela, who seemed frozen. Almost in slow motion, Ianto covered his mouth, horrified at the words that had escaped him. The only sound in the kitchen was Michaela's soft, labouring breath. She stared at Ianto, as if she was staring at a terrifying stranger. Ianto lowered his hands to his chest, pressing against a hammering heart.

"'Kaela." he gasped. Michaela looked around in a daze, then turned on her heel and ran out of the kitchen. "Kaela!" Ianto couldn't make his feet move. Horror at his own behaviour had rooted him to the spot. But the sound of the front door slamming shut, reverberated around him and jolted him into movement. He sprinted for the door, wrenching it open, calling to Michaela to come back.

But she didn't.

Ianto watched as she climbed into her car, threw him a look of horror that reflected his own, and turned the key. The engine roar was muffled by the pouring rain and whistling winds.

By the time Michaela had driven away, Ianto was drenched, but he couldn't move.

Suddenly, in a moment of crystallising understanding, Ianto saw himself descend into a level he couldn't even place Ivor Jones at. The air left his body and he felt his legs loose their strength. He landed on his arse, in the pouring rain, his arms moving as if weighed down by lead anvils to encompass his slowly bending knees. His right hand fingers pinched his left hand's in a tight grip, his knees settling into the corners of his inner elbows. The denim of his jeans was soaked with water, and rubbed hard against the delicate skin there. His shoulders hunched and he bowed his head to stare between his slightly spread knees to stare through the ground.

Mouth slightly open as he sucked in deep, slow breaths of air in an energyless desperation, his teeth resting on his lips, his tongue heavy inside his mouth, Ianto was aware of everything his body was doing. He felt every drop of rain flowing over his skin, the chill as they rolled down the back of his neck, as they weighed down his hair and flattened it, follicle by follicle. He also felt their chill mix with the hot tears that were escaping past his eyelashes and travelling down his cheeks.

The wind was filling his ears, but there was nothing in his mind to quieten. He was blank inside, his brain had ceased to function in any rational way. He just existed in the here and now.

It felt like he'd been waiting for this, as if this moment was inevitable, but Ianto had never expected it. His mind had never been silent, even when he'd all but squeezed his vocal cords tight together to keep himself quiet. Now, it was a weird, hollow peace. He felt no emotion, he thought of nothing, he just felt the rub of wet denim against his skin, his fingertips slowly pruning up, the patches of warmth that were forming where he was bent and his scalp tingling under the chilly ghost of wet rain.

There was no sense of time like this, so Ianto had no idea how long he'd sat there, until slowly, gently, gradually, his mind began to stir again. A twitch rippled from the centre of his spine and through to his shoulders and then his head and he realised his foot had gone dead, on the brink of pins and needles. He wiggled it a little inside his shoe, and raised his head.

For a moment, he wasn't sure why he was here, what had led him to sitting on, among other things, a pebble that was digging into his left arse cheek. That too had gone numb.

Then he remembered what had happened, what had been said, how'd he'd been the one to break his promise, not her. He'd promised never to claim her, to never try and own her like Blaine had. It had been one of the first promises she'd wrenched from his lips, three days after his New Year overdose, when she'd leaned over the hospital bed railing and kissed his cheek.

Ianto touched his cheek, remembering exactly how soft her kiss had been, even after all the chewing her lips had taken as she'd waited by his bedside for him to wake up. He traced a small circle on his stubbly skin, and could feel the warmth of her touch in his mind.

Then, as he let his fingertip touch his lower lip, he remembered first his first kiss with Michaela, and then he remembered the first time he'd kissed Jack.

Ianto missed Jack. He missed how easy it had been to be physical in his affection, of being touched and touching and not worrying about making mistakes, of scaring him, like he had with Michaela, or being too much and inappropriate, like with Lisa. He missed the jokes, and the serious discussions, he missed being close and saying nothing at all.

Ianto flexed his limbs and then struggled to his feet, shivering in the cold. Wrapping his arms around himself, Ianto swallowed. He felt worn down, hopeless and damaged. He also felt the beginnings of self-hatred. It was his fault all this was happening, the review, the team fracturing, hurting Michaela, hurting Jack… he should never have reacted the way he had… but it wasn't in him to apologise. At least not yet. Not for all of it. But he did not like what he was becoming. He was becoming even more obnoxious and heartless than he was as a teen.

Jack. Jack would know what to do. Jack had as dark as a side as anyone Ianto had ever known, but he kept a tight grip on it, and only let it out on that which would threaten the world or the team. Jack would never turn it on someone he loved. Ianto had just done that, and he had to fix it. Jack would know how he could do that.

It didn't occur to Ianto that this was too simplistic and his rationality was a cover for the need to see Jack. He just… he just wanted to see Jack.

The calm of his mind had not yet stopped, everything was somehow… detached and Ianto was only half aware of all that he felt. This is why, instead of just heading straight for the Hub, he went back inside, cleaned up the mess he'd made and then changed into dry clothes.

Only when he was warm and dry and wrapped up did he leave the house. He drove to the Hub, parked in the Hub's basement carpark, and then went into the Hub, peering around as he went.

As Ianto entered the Main Hub, he saw Michaela's jacket on the couch, the one that had gotten raindrops all over the floor in the kitchen. Her bag was next to it. Ianto made a soft noise of 'huh' as he realised she must have come here to get away from him. So, where was she? And where was Jack?

Ianto turned as he heard soft voices, and soft noises. They sounded a bit like whimpers. Curious, Ianto strained his ears and realised they were coming from the Autopsy Bay. As he meandered towards the Bay, the whimpers stopped and a very soft girlish giggle floated up to him. Then there was silence. Ianto kept walking, slowly, a small frown crossing his brow. What was going on down there?

Michaela's voice followed her giggle, but Ianto didn't catch a word of it. Then there was silence again.

Ianto finally reached the Autopsy Bay, and looked down into the pit. What he saw was like a stampeding herd through his shell of calm and all the rage he'd shut down came back to life and engulfed him in white hot fury.

When two pairs of eyes finally looked up at him, Ianto let out a snarl and lunged at one of them swinging his fist-

* * *

*keeps eyes covered* What do you think? I hope the slightly different style I used in the later part of the chapter for Ianto's breakdown worked.

Night's Darkness


	34. Chapter 30

Right, here's part two of chapter 29, only I'm not calling it that, this thing's long enough without any more chapter-point-somethings running around. I wrote this in one go, I hope you enjoy it and see bottom for a special A/N.

* * *

**Chapter 30**

It was only six. Jack stared at the antique clock on his desk in disbelief, and tapped the glass with his nail. It _clinked_ but otherwise gave no reaction. It couldn't only be six in the evening. The team had left at five and that had been hours ago… hadn't it. Not according to the clock.

Stupid clock.

Jack sat back in his desk chair, letting his weight tilt it back so he was at a 45 degree angle to the floor. He was so _bored_! All the panic, anger, fear and worry had begun to solidify and sit in his gut as an untouchable ball of emotion and around that a layer of boredom had settled, leaving him restless and aimless.

He considered trying, yet again, to read War and Peace. Despite his age, he'd never managed to get through the whole thing. Then again, he'd yet to read all of the much more fun Terry Pratchett novels. Jack grinned briefly as he wondered what Pratchett would think if he knew that in the year 6060 a genuine Discworld was built in the Praxsis solar system. Of course, the turtle and the elephants that held it up were mechanical, but they looked real, and in the end, it was a great place to have a holiday.

Getting to his feet, Jack decided to let out some restless energy on the shooting range. Maybe he'd play with some of the big guns, that always cheered him up.

He had just lined up his shot when his wristband beeped and let him know someone was entering the Hub. It also informed him it was only 6:20. Deciding he'd best make sure it was a friendly face, Jack set down the guns and wandered up to the Main Hub.

It was Michaela. She was wet from the rain and had a look on her face that told Jack something bad had happened.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Michaela nearly jumped out of her skin. She hadn't noticed him arriving.

"I… Look, I'm not here to spy on you or anything. I just couldn't stay at Ianto's, ok? You won't even know I'm here." she sounded defensive and eyed him with a new wariness that surprised Jack.

"What happened?"

"Just a fight… I don't-" Michaela cut herself off, balling her fists and looking away, her chin trembling in repressed misery. Jack watched her curiously. Michaela swallowed and said, "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Ok, whatever." Jack shrugged. Michaela nodded, and went straight for the kitchen. "You making coffee."

"Tea. You want some?"

Jack debated the answer. He knew if he said yes it would be an invitation to Michaela to join him, to talk. And that wasn't an unappealing idea, because Jack was beginning to feel quite lonely. He'd gotten used to having someone around at night, because Ianto used to stay with him. On the other hand, was it a good idea to try and be friend's with her, considering all the bad tension between her and the rest of the team, and now, it seemed, Ianto? Maybe not.

Jack suddenly wondered why, when they were all part of the same organisation, and had all once gotten along, were they suddenly all on different sides?

"Yeah, please. Strong, with a lot of sugar." said Jack at last, deciding that as the leader of the team, he should be the one trying to bring everything back to a cohesive unit, even if it meant befriending someone who could put them in prison.

Michaela nodded, and turned to the kettle. Jack went back up to his office to wait. He pondered on why she was here, where was Ianto, and what had they argued about. Maybe Ianto was still upset about the interview. But that didn't seem likely. Even Ianto was unlikely to hold a grudge like that, right? Jack growled, hating how all of this had made him so unsure about Ianto, who'd he thought he'd known.

Suddenly there was a sharp cry and a crash from the kitchen. Jack ran from his office and down the steps. He found the teapot and kettle on the ground and Michaela at the sink, running water over her left hand.

"What happened?"

"What do you think, I scalded my hand!" Michaela snapped. She sounded on the verge of tears. Jack winced as he saw her whole hand was going bright red. He went to the freezer and pulled out a cold-pack. He came up behind Michaela and reached around her. She jumped as he took her hands in his much bigger ones and pressed the cold-pack onto the reddest area of skin. As he pressed down gently, he drew her hands out from under the water, so it ended up that he was holding her in his arms.

"There… –easy, easy." he murmured, as she flinched and jerked at the pain and the cold. He kept the pack on her hand, murmuring into her ear soothingly. He could see the skin the pack could not reach was red too, it was a nasty scald. He could guess how she'd managed, he'd noticed her hands had been shaking when she'd come in. When she'd got to pour the boiled water into the teapot, the shaking would have been stronger with the heavy kettle in her hand and she'd miss-fired, pouring it right onto her other hand.

Jack carefully lifted the cold-pack off her hand to see if it was blistering, and hissed in sympathy. The skin was almost white-hot where she'd obviously doused it the most. Michaela whimpered, biting her lower lip.

"It's ok, it's ok." reassured Jack, trying to keep his voice soft. "Owen's got some stuff that's great on burns, should do the trick nicely."

For some reason this statement seemed to break something inside Michaela because she burst into loud tears. Jack's eyes widened and, while he kept his hand on the cold pack so it stayed put, the other he put at her waist, half supporting her as he guided her towards the Autopsy Bay. He helped her onto the Autopsy Table, and started rooting through all of Owen's stuff, looking for the balm for burns. Michaela was still sobbing, so Jack handed her some of the tissues by the sink.

"Aha! Here we go, soothes away all burns and scalds or Cap'n Jack will do the naughty stuff for you!" he said, giving a cheesy grin. It didn't help, Michaela didn't even seem to hear him. "Hey, come on, I know it hurts but-"

"It's not that! It's everything else!" Michaela could barely get the words out she was crying so hard. Jack tried to catch her injured hand, but she suddenly gestured wildly and the cold-pack hit Jack in the nose. Michaela began to ramble, "This is all my fault! It's all my stupid fault, I just, I shouldn't have-"

"What? Your fight with Ianto? C'mon, he's a walking time bomb at the moment, you can't blame-"

"It's not just that, it's everything!" she cried, sounding broken, "I hate what I'm doing here, I hate that I'm doing this fucking review, I hate that Ianto's fighting with me every step of the way, I hate that he's mad at me, I hate that I've fucked everything up with him and I hate that you all hate me for doing what I'm told because I don't know what else to do because UNIT will crucify you!"

"Hey, hey, hey, c'mon, shhh, it's ok. Look, I don't hate you." Jack wouldn't speak on behalf of the others. Michaela wouldn't believe him anyway. Jack smoothed her hair, and cupped her wet cheek, making her look up at him. When she met his eyes, he found himself smiling. There she was. That sweet, nervous girl he'd found so appealing that, when they'd said goodbye, he'd meant it when he's said he hoped he saw her again. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, and managed to get a tentative smile out of her as he said, "I don't hate you."

"The others do." she mumbled, hiccupping.

"They're angry, and upset. Can you blame them?"

She shook her head in his grip, "No. No I don't. But it's not fun being hated."

"No it's not believe me, I know." Jack raised his eyebrows, significantly.

"Ianto doesn't hate you. He wouldn't be this mad at you if he hated you. He just doesn't want to admit that he cares about you."

"Here's hoping you're right."

"I'd like to think I know him well enough to know that." Her smile fell, "But lately, while I've been down here… God I don't know what to do. And he expects me to know, that's the thing! He expected me to make it all better. And I've just made it worse." She dropped her head, but Jack didn't let go. He was pretty sure his touch on her skin was the only thing keeping the hysterics at bay right now. "How am I supposed to fix things if he won't let me, I try and he just blows up, and I don't know how to handle that?"

"It's hard, I know, but it'll get better."

"Yeah?"

"It has to, I'm not giving up on him." Jack was very firm in this statement.

Michaela stared at him, looking almost jealous "A few hours ago, I'd have said the same."

"What did you guys fight about?"

"I don't –he just said… he said something he promised he'd never say."

"What was it?" Jack was curious now, he'd vague memories about things that had been said about Ianto to him before he'd met Ianto, and he wondered just what he was never mean to say. Michaela shook her head and whimpered,

"My hand hurts."

"Oh crap, right!" Jack quickly squeezed some of the burn cream onto the white-hot skin and gently rubbed it in with a cotton ball. Michaela grimaced in pain. "Well, it's not the worst I've seen, and this cream should help stop it from blistering. I think you'll live Ms. Murphy."

"I've survived worse." she said, voice dull with pain. Jack glanced up again, the questions on the tip of his tongue. But Michaela's face crumpled and she began to cry again. "I've ruined everything!" she sobbed softly, bowing her head again.

"Hey, come on." Jack scooped her chin back up so she was looking at him again. "You didn't ruin everything, give me some credit here too. I don't remember you being there torturing Ivor Jones alongside me."

"Not for lack of wanting to." she said angrily, wiping at her face. "I can't even feel sorry for what you did to him, I hate him for what he did to Ianto so much."

"Well, we finally agree on something."

Michaela sniffed, "You'd be surprised how much I agree with when it comes to you."

Jack grinned, "Oh yeah? I was pretty good that week, wasn't I?"

"Don't let it go to your head."

"Too late Micka."

Michaela giggled softly. "Jack…" she whispered, her uninjured hand reaching up and stroking Jack's cheek with her fingertips. Jack's smile slipped a little, and he stared at her carefully. The air had changed in a heartbeat. Suddenly, Jack was the one who felt vulnerable. The way she was smiling at him, looking at him, was so open, and so adoring, almost loving… it scared him a little. But at the same time… he'd felt so isolated lately.

Michaela's front teeth smoothed over her lower lip, as she kept stroking Jack's cheek. Jack almost closed his eyes as he pressed into her touch. Michaela's fingertips rested against his jaw, and Jack was aware of their closeness. There wasn't three inches of space between their lips. Michaela's affectionate smile turned down a little as she glanced at his mouth, then up at his eyes again. Hers widened as she realised what was happening. She licked her lips a little, then chewed on them once before murmuring,

"Such a bad idea."

"Mmhm…" murmured Jack, his hand still cradling her cheek.

"I promised I wouldn't…" she said, even as she cupped his cheek, her eyes searching his.

"Wouldn't what?"

Michaela couldn't answer, because one of them had already touched the other's lips. Jack put a hand on her waist, tugging her closer as he tilted her head back so he could deepen the kiss, his hand sinking into her hair. Michaela, far from being submissive like before, tangled her fingers into his hair and pulled him closer, whimpering into his mouth. Jack knew at once that she was as lonely as he felt.

Jack pulled back, staring down at her. Michaela's eyes were huge, both with desire and guilt. Then the hair on the back of Jack's neck stood up and he looked up, Michaela following his line of sight. Jack's stomach dropped.

Ianto was as white as a ghost with fury, and his eyes were blazing. With one single leap he'd thrown himself into the pit and smashed his fist into Jack's face. Jack crashed to the ground as Michaela screamed.

"Ianto!"

Jack groaned but didn't have a chance to regroup as Ianto grabbed him by the front of his shirt and punched him again.

"Why her?" he roared, "Why'd you have to take her too?"

"Ianto stop it!" Michaela grabbed his arm but Ianto pushed her away. He was focused on Jack, and Jack alone.

Ianto gripped Jack's shirt front tight and slammed his fist into Jack's face again and again,

"Why did you have to take the last thing that was mine? You took away Lisa! You took away Ivor Jones! Why did you have to take her too? The only thing I had left outside this place you had to take from me?"

Jack would have tried to answer, if the blood from his broken nose hadn't been filling up his throat because his head was tilted back. Ianto was beyond words though as he kept punching Jack, fury and loneliness beyond anything he'd ever felt before being a vicious combination.

Jack was pretty sure Ianto wouldn't stop until he'd beaten Jack to death, if he was even still seeing Jack, and not some phantom he could pin all his anger onto, when he let out a shout of pain and arched his back. His whole body jerked like he was being electrocuted, and then he collapsed. Michaela caught him in one arm, cushioning his fall as she threw her other arm around him too. In her right, uninjured hand, was the Stun Gun.

Jack groaned and rolled onto his side, spitting out the blood. A tooth went with it. Brilliant.

Reaching up and fumbling, Jack grabbed something that was absorbent from the counter and pressed it to his face, grimacing in agony. His nose was broken for sure.

He glanced up to see what had saved him.

Michaela was clinging to Ianto's unconscious body, rocking him, tears streaming down her face as she rested her cheek against his head. Jack saw in her uninjured hand was the Stun Gun. Ianto hadn't noticed her run to get it, he'd been too focused on Jack.

"Ugh, danks!" said Jack, grimacing at the nasally voice his broke nose had given him. Michaela didn't answer him, she was rocking Ianto in her arms as if that alone would fix everything. "Probab woulda gilled me." Jack winced, crawling over to Ianto and Michaela, wishing his regenerative abilities were that bit quicker so he didn't sound like he had a very bad head cold. At least the pain was already beginning to fade. There were perks to being immortal.

"He's gonna be so mad when he wakes up."

"Deh, he bill. But we godda tie him down be'ore he bakes up."

Michaela seemed to be brought out of her stupor as she stared at him in bewilderment. Jack rolled his eyes above the very bloody… oh, it was Owen's lab coat. He'd love that.

"It's ma nose! He broked it."

"Oh… We can't tie him up, it'll only make it worse!"

"Dings are albedy worse. Can't you dear me? Didn't you 'ee whab just 'appened?"

"I did, but-"

"We godda tie him up!"

"But this won't help. Nothing's helped!"

"We'll sword it out! Just help me tie him up."

Michaela's head snapped up, her eyes huge. Jack stiffened as she looked at Ianto and then at him. Then she murmured, more to herself,

"We can't sort this out. But you can."

Jack had no chance to react before she'd shoved the Stun Gun into his chest and pulled the trigger. In a painful instant everything went dark.

* * *

A/N: Can I just say that I am aware of certain people's opinions of my OC, and I know this chapter may not please those people and others, but I'm asking, please stop telling me to kill/maim/throw her off a cliff. Admittedly it's toned down lately, and I don't know if that's just people are warming to her or they've stopped reading/commenting and of course there are those who do like her and I'm glad. But it's still comes up and I'm taking pre-emptive action due to what goes on in this chapter. If you don't like her that's fine, but I'm begging you, enough is enough, I know exactly why she's there, I know what her purpose is, and I know that many of you want Janto to happen, but this fic was never going to be a simplistic-wrap-things-up-everyone's-ok-and­-Janto-is-forever fic. Michaela has a place in this fic I cannot change, and will not, because I do like her, and she allows me to use the characters outside the norms of the team.

Sorry for the ranting, but I just felt something had to be said after this chapter.

Night's Darkness/Ginger


	35. Chapter 31

Hi! Can I just say a huge thank you to all your lovely comments, and sorry if I haven't responded to them yet! It was so lovely to come back after a three day holiday and find all those lovely, and honest, comments waiting for me. *hugs you all*

I will say just to clarify that there weren't a LOT of complaints about Michaela, but there had been enough to make me feel a pre-emptive action was required. I'm glad I did because your wonderful comments have helped this fic solidify into a permanent form, which it hadn't quite before because I wasn't sure how certain things should be handled, but you've given me the confidence to go with my strongest and most complex plan of action. I hope you continue to enjoy this fic, *hugs again*

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 31**

Jack grimaced as he slowly came back to consciousness. For a second time in recent memory he'd awoken in the Hub after being knocked unconscious. The first thing he did before even opening his eyes was run his tongue over his teeth and wrinkled his nose. To his immense relief the tooth Ianto had knocked out of him had grown back, and his nose, although tender, was definitely healing.

Jack reached to touch his nose to see if it was crooked or not, and it was only then he realised his right hand was dead and extended above his head. Jack opened his eyes and looked upwards.

Someone had handcuffed him to one of the bars of the railing that kept people from falling into the pit of the Autopsy bay.

As he tugged at it, Jack couldn't help but think to himself,

'_This is becoming a really bad habit. And why is it never for fun?'_ as he registered it was also the second time he awoken tied up in the Hub. Then he remembered what had happened before his face had become a punch bag and looked around.

To his immense surprise, Ianto was propped up against the wall, handcuffed to the bar opposite Jack's, still out cold. Jack glanced around, looking for Michaela, but he couldn't see her, even when he knelt up and peered over the edge into the Main Hub. He called her name, but there was no answer.

Jack tugged on the handcuff, then glanced down at his feet. There was a hastily scribbled note near his feet. Jack reached out and picked it up. It was written in Michaela's hand writing, but her hands must have been shaking because it wasn't nearly as neat as it normally was.

'_The handcuff keys are on Tosh's desk. Until then you'll have to stay where you are. Jack, if you don't take advantage of this and try to talk to Ianto I'll never forgive you.__ You're the only who can' _

She hadn't finished the note.

Well, that was succinct. Jack felt miffed. He was the one who had been used as a punch bag, twice now, and he was still being scolded for not trying to talk to Ianto.

But… after that vicious display, and remembering what Michaela had said, that only Jack could sort it, Jack wondered if maybe she was looking for him to sort Ianto out, and put an end to this vicious and angry man that had engulfed Ianto. Maybe it was less about comforting Ianto now, and more about putting an end to this pain he'd become.

Jack glanced up at the handcuffs. He'd normally have no problem getting out of these, he could do it in his sleep. Was Michaela aware of that? She was the technical Chief Archivist for the whole institute, so it was very likely she was. So why… oh! Jack glanced at Ianto, _who was in exactly the same position as Jack._

'_Clever.'_ conceded Jack. Tied up and stuck, both men were in the exact same situation and position. It wasn't a restraining thing so much as a psychological thing. Michaela had left them on even ground. Tied up and pissed off. And, Jack noticed, out of reach of each other, on opposite ends of the half circle, right next to the stairs.

Ianto groaned as he started to wake. Jack glanced up at the handcuffs again and decided his hand could remain dead for a little longer if it meant he could finally get somewhere with Ianto.

The second Ianto realised he was handcuffed to the pole, he leapt to his feet and started pulling on it, swearing like a sailor in anger and then in pain as the handcuff cut into his skin.

"I don't think that's gonna help." drawled Jack. Ianto froze, then snapped his head to the side.

"You!" he snarled, almost spitting in fury. Not so attractive thought Jack.

"Me." He replied, waving with his handcuffed hand, so the jangle of the metal alerted Ianto's fury-fogged mind to the fact that Jack was in the same situation.

"Then… Michaela did this?" asked Ianto, his face loosing some of its anger and acquiring an almost hurt puppy look. Jack raised his eyebrows at the abrupt change of mood.

"Must have, unless it was Janet or Myfanwy, but… I don't think Myfanwy has the dexterity to do this."

Ianto gave Jack a withering look. Then he looked back at the handcuffs, tugging half heartedly again.

"Don't suppose you've got the keys."

"Nope! If I did don't you think I'd have sprung myself by now?"

"Well I don't know half of what you're in to." snapped Ianto. Once upon a time, not so long ago, Jack would have seen that as an invitation to show Ianto. Now… not so much.

"There's no point in pulling at them, they're Torchwood's. Not easily broken, as you know."

"So what am I supposed to do?" demanded Ianto, still glaring at his reddening wrist.

"Look, Tosh'll be in in a few hours, and she'll free us. Until then, how about we have a conversation, you know, like adults do. I should warn you, it doesn't involve punching the shit out of someone." Jack allowed some of his anger to filter into this last part. Ianto coloured around his temples and upper cheeks. If Jack didn't know better, he'd have thought a flicker of guilt passed through Ianto's eyes.

"Bloody deserved it." Ianto muttered, dashing Jack's hope. But he sat back down on the ground and propped his chin in his hand.

"I think not!" said Jack, deliberately keeping his tone light. "I may have kissed her, but I'm pretty sure you aren't actually with her, and currently, you and I don't appear to be together, and in all fairness, it was only a kiss, and what fucking right have you to behave like that?"

"Why did you have to take her too?" snapped Ianto, glaring at his shoes.

"Beg your pardon?"

"You've taken everything else, you took Lisa, you took Ivor Jones… you've taken away everything, you even took my freedom. Why did you have to take the one thing that was mine and mine alone?"

"Excuse me?" spluttered Jack, incredulous. "Ok! First of all, we've been over Lisa, she was long dead by the time we found her. I did not take her away from you. Secondly, I didn't realise you'd staked a claim to Ivor Jones that required me to ask your permission. And thirdly, considering the way you and Michaela were when I first met her, what right have you got to claim her like that?"

"Any idiot would know better than to go after Ivor Jones without telling me! You didn't tell me because you knew how I'd react. You knew I wouldn't want it, so you didn't ask me because you wanted to do it. And what the hell do you mean the way Michaela and I were when you met her?" Ianto glared at Jack moodily. Jack felt like he was dealing with a teenager. Maybe he should treat him like one.

"Oh come on! The first time I met Michaela you'd just blown her off for Lisa. She was upset and missed you, and I-"

"Took full advantage, yes I know. Don't think I wasn't aware of it. I've always known that."

"Hey! I did not pressure her or force her-"

"If you had you'd have had Archie on your arse so fast you'd have spent the next ten years pulling his boots out of your hole."

"Let me get this straight, you clearly don't care that I slept with her a few years ago, but you do care that I kissed her tonight."

"Yes!"

"Uh… why?" Jack was genuinely confused and annoyed. But he was determined to keep his temper in check as much as he could.

"Because it's different now!"

"Meaning you didn't need her then but now you do? Are you aware of how much of a selfish bastard that makes you?"

"It's not like that!" snarled Ianto, his free hand clenching into a fist. "Michaela's the only thing I've got left outside this job! I wanted it to stay that way."

"She works for Torchwood! She got you your first job, right?"

"Yeah! But she doesn't work _here_." Ianto gestured to the Hub. "She doesn't work with us, she doesn't know anything but what I tell her. She's the closest thing I've got to someone outside this place."

"That's because you're too lazy to bother doing it for real." Jack's own eyes widened at his own stupidity for saying that thought out loud.

"What?!" erupted Ianto, finally looking up at Jack.

"You heard me." He was in it now, may as well keep going. "If you really wanted to get a life outside this place, you'd do it. If you can magic up whatever we need when we need it and still find the time to get my coat clean and make us coffee, then you could damn well get a life outside this place! If Gwen can manage it-"

"Oh yes! Gwen managed it so well she fucked Owen while making doe-eyes at you and whinging about Rhys who must have the patience of a fucking saint and the brain capacity of a dodo for all that he knows about Gwen's activities."

Jack, who'd made a careful, deliberate point of ignoring Gwen's affair with Owen when it was occurring and was more than happy to act as if it never happened –for reasons he wasn't totally comfortable with- saw they were heading down the wrong road entirely. Instead of fixing current problems, they were tearing open new wounds.

"Even if Michaela's all you think you've got, that's no excuse for what you did to me!"

"I can't loose her too!"

"You don't think that your behaviour will be enough to keep her?" sneered Jack, "'cause from what I've heard you've been a real prince lately."

Ianto blanched a bit and he looked away. Aha! Jack had found something to needle him with and get past the overlaying anger. "She was only here because you'd had a fight and you said something you weren't supposed to."

"I didn't mean it."

"What was it? She was too upset to say."

Jack watched as his words made Ianto squirm.

"… I didn't mean it." he was quieter now, and his cheeks were flushing again. He was ashamed. Good, Jack could work with that.

"What was it? Must have been pretty bad."

Ianto closed his eyes, as if trying to prepare himself for something, "I said… I said she was mine. To her face."

Jack's eyebrows shot up. That statement must have had some serious background for the Irish woman, but even without knowing what, Jack felt angry on her behalf.

"You said that? You said that, knowing she wouldn't like it, and then trying to break my face in, saying it all over again, and you've said it again to justify what you did… Ianto what the hell has gotten into you?"

"I don't know!" blurted Ianto, his voice breaking as he said, "I saw you and I just… I was so angry. I don't know what it is about her, but I hate the idea of her being with anyone but me. I mean I was crazy about Lisa, but when she told me about you… I was so angry but I didn't say it then. I don't know-"

"Like hell you don't. You just don't want to admit it."

"Like you don't want to admit why you went after Ivor Jones, because you sure as hell didn't do it for me!"

"You're right, I didn't!"

Ianto's head snapped up and he stared at Jack in complete shock. Jack hadn't meant to admit it, but he realised that he was never going to get anywhere if he didn't admit his own faults.

"Y-you didn't?"

"Nope."

"Then… why did you do it?"

Jack sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. This was going to be difficult.

"I did it for Owen… but I did it for me too."

"I don't-"

"Just let me talk, ok?"

Ianto snapped his mouth shut, waiting. Jack took in a deep breath,

"When Owen told me what Ivor had done to you, yes, I was angry for you, but if that had been it, maybe I would have been able to control myself. I think I would have because I knew you wouldn't want me to do it. It was… it was how Owen reacted when he told me."

"How did he…?" Ianto's curiosity was getting the better of his temper.

"He started crying and he was so angry and hurting so much and it just… it brought it all back."

Ianto questions were silent, but demanding. Jack swallowed, continuing,

"I'm a… I was a big brother once. I had a little brother, Gray. We were really close as kids. I remember we used to play games on the beach with my dad, and we'd build bonfires and mom would join us… it was really great. I was five years older than Gray, and I was always mean to take care of him. And I usually did. But then… when it counted the most, I failed him."

Jack could feel Ianto's blue eyes boring into him. But he wouldn't be rushed. He had to take this slowly.

"There were these creatures… aliens of the kind of evil… as evil as the Daleks, maybe more, because they enjoy causing pain, but the Daleks just want to rule the universe. They attacked our settlement, it was such a nice day and then they came." Jack's whole face crumpled and he clenched his hands into tight fists. "My dad told me to take Gray and run, he was going to find mom. I took Gray's hand and we ran, we ran with everyone else and then –I don't know what happened but he must have lost his grip, I must have let go of his hand because he was gone. I searched for hours on the beach, and all I found was my dad lying dead on the ground. I searched for Gray for years, always hoping I'd find him, but I never did. I've never forgiven myself for letting him go!" Jack turned to Ianto, who was staring at the ground, pain making him squint a little. "When Owen told me what had happened to you, when I saw him break down like that… it all came back, and I just… Ivor became those monsters, Owen became me, you became Gray and I just, I just-"

"Wanted the revenge you couldn't have then." finished Ianto, voice toneless.

Jack nodded. Ianto was quiet for a long time, staring at the ground. Then he whimpered and curled up into a ball.

"Oh God…"

"Ianto?"

"You didn't do it for me. You didn't even do it for Owen, or because you thought it was right. You did it for yourself! You were doing it for your brother; you looked at me and saw your brother!"

"Ianto, I-"

"That's sick!" cried Ianto, trembling. "And I… what I did to him, taking away his memories, making him like that, punishing him like that… oh my God!" Ianto's trembling hand covered his mouth, he looked pale, like he was about to vomit. Jack watched him carefully, certain Ianto was going to call him a monster again, waiting for the onslaught of verbal, –and when he was loose physical- abuse that was bound to come. "What have I done?" murmured Ianto, shaking so hard he could barely keep his hand at his mouth.

'_What?'_ Jack gaped at Ianto as the Welshman began to hyperventilate. "Ianto? Ianto breath! You have to take deep breaths." Jack was ready to pop the handcuff if he didn't get himself under control, but he didn't want to give it away that he could free himself if he could help it. But Ianto sucked in air like he was drowning and managed to get himself under control. But he looked like he'd been shaken to his very core about something. Jack leaned his head forward, frowning as Ianto's face remained pale and he stared into space.

"Ianto? Ianto! Ianto answer me now!"

Ianto didn't respond, but his eyes began to flick from side to side as if he was in the middle of REM sleep or having a fit.

"_**Ianto!**_"

Ianto jumped and looked at Jack, horrified.

"What have I done?" he cried, dragging his hand through his hair. Jack was completely nonplussed by this. Ianto started tugging on his handcuffs again, but this time it was out of desperation, not anger. "No, no, no, no!"

"Ianto what is it? Talk to me! What's going on?" demanded Jack, thumbing the handcuff and preparing to spring himself if he needed to.

"I can't! No! I can't have."

"Can't have _what_? Ianto what are you talking about. Tell me!" ordered Jack, using his best captain's voice.

And, amazingly, it worked. Ianto stopped struggling and he looked at Jack again, wide-eyed.

"This is all my fault!" he shouted.

"Wh –ok, I admit you're not blameless since you've been acting like a spoilt child, but it's not all your fault. Owen and me have to take some of the blame. C'mon Ianto, you're not so important that you can be blamed for all of this." It was a weird way of soothing someone, but it could work on some. Reminding them that they weren't the centre of the universe, giving them some perspective could help them be rational again. Ianto seemed to be one of them, because he did seem to calm a bit.

"I… I hurt… I've been so angry over… over a lie!"

"Ianto you'd better start making sense soon!" snapped Jack, his patience long gone.

"You didn't do it for me!"

"Yes, we've established that."

"I thought you had." Ianto said, sounding like he was attempting to sound rational and failing miserably. "I thought you had. But if you didn't… then I didn't have to do it."

"Do what?"

"What I did. To Ivor Jones."

"Erasing his memory."

"I did more than that!" snarled Ianto.

"Yes, yes Ianto, I remember, but we don't have to rehash!"

"But I didn't need to do it!" exploded Ianto, quivering.

Jack wanted to cradle his head in his hands in sheer exasperation. Ianto clearly was too upset to make sense, and Jack was in absolutely no mood to try and decipher his tangled thoughts. Jack knew without asking that Ianto's rationalism, which was what was trying to emerge, would not hold any weight against the blunt truth. Shit had happened and Ianto had reacted. He hadn't thought, he hadn't considered, he'd just reacted and had been reacting ever since.

Jack had a new appreciation for the huge to-do lists and neurotic orderliness with which Ianto did his job. It wasn't a problem of OCD, it was a deliberate conditioning that Ianto had probably cultivated to keep this bad tempered and horrendously lonely boy in check. The needy way he'd tried to possess Michaela because he'd ostracised himself from the team became not just pathetic, but tragic. Ianto clearly did have a great attachment to her, but he'd let his anger overwhelm his kinder nature and had been a selfish ass. The kind of selfish ass Jack himself had once been.

The trouble was, unlike his past self, Jack still cared about this selfish ass.

Ianto had stopped trying to speak, and was now staring into space again, chewing on his fingertips. Jack had nothing to say. He needed Ianto to take the next step. Telling him about Gray had taken all the energy out of him, and he wasn't able to muster any more to follow Ianto's brain anymore.

They sat in silence for hours, Jack glancing at Ianto, who was in danger of actually eating his own fingers, every now and then. Each time he silently urged the younger man to actually say something without being goaded or pressed, but Ianto disappointed him each time. Ianto had actually drawn blood from his fingers and Jack was about to say something, when the cogwheels alarms went off. Both men jumped violently, and as the alarms switched off, Jack called

"Tosh! Is that you?"

"Yes! Where are you Jack."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief. "Erm… on your desk there should be two keys! Could you grab them and come to the Autopsy Bay?"

"Uh… ok!"

They could hear Tosh's heels clacking as she went to her desk, then shuffled for a moment, before coming in their direction.

When she saw the two of them, her eyes widened in shock.

"What-?"

"Long story! Could you just get us loose? I'd like to feel my fingers again." said Jack, glancing at Ianto who was staring at Tosh like she'd dealt him a blow. Tosh hurriedly opened Jack's handcuff and freed him. Jack caught her arm as she made towards Ianto. He took the key for himself and approached carefully. He was taking no more chances with Ianto Jones' temper.

But Ianto flinched back from Jack as he reached him, and was quiet and docile as Jack freed him. Was he going into shock?

Jack stared at him carefully, but Ianto suddenly dug his still bleeding hand into his pocket and got out his phone. He dialled a number and put the phone to his ear. Evidently he got no answer, because he tried again. And again. And three more times before he jumped to his feet and, avoiding Jack and Tosh's eyes, he ran up the steps and through the Hub.

"Ianto!" Tosh chased after him, worried. But Jack followed at a walk. He knew where Ianto was going and knew it was best that Ianto go and find her before he did anything else. Tosh stared after Ianto's hurriedly retreating form and then turned to Jack.

"Jack! What happened here? What happened to you? You're covered in blood!"

"Long story Tosh. Could you make me some tea? Sweet and strong please. I need to go lie down."

"O-ok."

Jack nodded his thanks and went straight to his bed, falling into a deep sleep for the first time in weeks.

* * *

I hope this was as good for you guys as your reviews were for me, although I doubt it was as good as those, lol. :-)

Night's Darkness


	36. Chapter 32

Ok, I'm gonna be trying to get as much as possible done in the next couple of weeks and posted because when college starts I'm sure there will be good few weeks where I won't have a lot of time to do fics. Plus I'm busy working on some Original Work, so it may be a bit of a flood then drought situation with the fic. Just a forewarning, it may turn out that I end up writing loads once September rolls around.

Thanks for all your support you've been giving me!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 32**

_(2__1__st__ September 2008)_

When Jack awoke, he quickly showered, dressed in fresh clothes and climbed up the ladder into his office. He glanced at his clock. It was nearly one in the afternoon. He found Gwen, Tosh and Owen whispering to each other furiously. They all fell silent as they heard his loud footsteps.

"Everyone caught up now?" asked Jack lightly, although he was annoyed. There was a definite downside to living in each others ears. Nothing was left unpicked as they devoured each others lives and gossip. He was as guilty as they were for the habit, but being on the other end was not half as fun.

"We've guessed the basics."

"Helps that we saw you cop a snog and feel of the ginger and set Ianto off again." said Owen viciously.

"It wasn't as if I knew he was there, or did it as an attack-" Jack pursed his lips, cutting himself off. Why did he have to justify himself? He hadn't done anything technically wrong. "And _you_ can't talk about causing trouble by snogging members of this organisation and pissing others off!"

Owen narrowed his eyes, Gwen blanched and Tosh closed her eyes in exasperation. They were, not necessarily mercifully, saved by Ianto's abrupt return to the Hub. He was soaking from the still pouring rain, and he looked completely desolate and lost.

"Ianto!" Gwen pounced on him with a little more enthusiasm than she might have if she hadn't been desperate for a change of subject. "You're soaking wet pet. What have you been doing?"

"L-looking." stuttered Ianto, his teeth chattering. He'd lost his coat somewhere along the way and was wearing a shirt and jeans. Tosh ran to get a blanket, while Gwen said, putting her arm around the middle of his back since she couldn't reach his shoulders properly.

"Looking for what sweetheart?"

"k-kaela." mumbled Ianto. His mobile was between his palms, and the hands touched his lips as he lifted them like he was praying, still mumbling. "B-been l-looking for her. Sh-she's gone."

"Gone? What do you mean gone?"

"G-gone!" exclaimed Ianto, sounding devastated. Tosh came back and threw the blanket around him and together she and Gwen pulled him to the couch. Owen and Jack kept their distance. But Jack did not feel wary of Ianto's temper. Whatever was going through Ianto's head now had put a dampener on his anger, for now at least. "I wanted to find her, I –I fucked up. I wanted to apologise."

'_Were you ever gonna apologise to me?'_ wondered Jack, narrowing his eyes.

Ianto continued, "I couldn't find her, her stuffs gone from my house and –and she's not answering her phone."

"I'll track it." said Tosh soothingly. Ianto gave her a grateful look and for a moment it was almost easy to forget all that had happened lately. Then Jack mentally slapped himself and watched Tosh hurry to her computer with increasingly bad temper. But Ianto's pathetic appearance and stutter kept him calm enough to allow it.

"W-wanted to… gotta fix this." mumbled Ianto.

"Whatever's going on between you two, I'm sure you'll fix it." said Gwen, rubbing his back. Ianto shook his head,

"Not just that! All of it. I've fucked up so bad."

There was a tense silence as the rest of the team looked at each other and then at Ianto, hardly daring to think what had been the impossible. Was Ianto trying to apologise to them? Was he finally trying to fix things?

But Ianto twitched and then buried his face in his hands and said no more. Tosh came back with a frown on her face.

"I can't track it, she must have a jamming signal or something. The phone doesn't appear to be on the planet."

"Oh Jesus!" Ianto looked up, horrified, "You don't think-"

"The Rift didn't swallow her up Ianto, don't be stupid." said Jack firmly. Ianto flinched. "She's probably just switched the tracker off. She'll turn up when she's ready."

"What if she doesn't?" asked Ianto, still shivering, although not as badly.

"She has to. She's got that review to finish."

"God, that fucking review!" snarled Ianto. "Why the fuck is Archie making her do it? It's not fair on anyone."

"Wait, she's being made to do this?" Gwen looked amazed. Jack rolled his eyes. He, for one, had been sure that was obvious.

"Of course she is!" snapped Ianto. "Why would she try to undermine and discredit the team she's been defending since she started working for Torchwood?"

Before Gwen could respond the computers started beeping.

"Jack! Eight weevils are making their way into Cathays Park."

Jack leaned forward over her shoulder to check the CCTV. The Weevils all looked big and grouchy.

"Crap." They would need the five of them to have a chance of reigning them in. "Everyone grab your stuff. Ianto!" Ianto jumped and looked up. "You in?"

The others paused and stared at the two men. Jack made it clear by a single expression that all was not forgiven or forgotten, but he was giving Ianto a chance. Ianto stared back, wide-eyed, but then nodded anxiously. He looked almost desperate to go with them.

Jack hesitated a moment, unsure if he was fit for the job, then nodded, "Ok, grab a kit and get to the SUV."

Ianto nodded again and scrambled to his feet. He hurried after the others who deliberately looked in every other direction. Jack hoped he'd made the right call.

~*~

As it turned out, he had. When Jack hadn't been looking, two weevils had advanced on Tosh, one she saw and one she hadn't. Ianto had leapt onto the back of the one behind her and sprayed it full in the face. It let out that mournful groan and collapsed to the ground under Ianto's weight. Tosh was able to get the other one and both got bagged and cuffed. Jack eyed the cuffs with a slightly nasty look. It had only been a few hours ago he'd been in those cuffs. Ianto seemed to have similar thoughts.

They dragged the Weevils to the sewers and Ianto jumped down first to catch the Weevils as Jack and Owen lowered them down. Then Jack climbed down and helped Ianto unbag and uncuff them all again. This was done in complete silence and Jack was sure if he had spoken, Ianto would have taken off running.

They climbed out of the sewers and the team all stood there in awkward silence, not really looking at anyone, as the rain continued to pour down. Gwen's hair was sticking to her face in locks, while Tosh's was falling out of the nice twist she'd put it into. Ianto's was plastered to his head and Jack's was fighting a loosing battle against gravity and rain. His fringe was already stuck to his brow.

Jack looked around at the team and sighed. The sound made everyone look at him, big-eyed and looking for solutions. But Jack had none.

"C'mon. Back to the Hub, everyone."

They slowly nodded and climbed into the SUV, whose leather seats squeaked and groaned as the wet clothes rubbed against it.

Not a single sound was made by anyone in the car, and everyone was as tense as if they were expecting an attack. Jack pressed his lips together, feeling the others frustration and awkwardness, but said nothing. They were all adults here. He couldn't tell them how to feel.

Myfanwy screeched as they plodded back into the Hub. Ianto looked up to watch her fly overhead. Jack watched him. He looked as exhausted as Jack felt, and so unbearably young. It hurt to watch him, but Jack didn't look away. Ianto must have felt his gaze because he tentatively glanced at Jack. The nervousness was such a change from the angry and indignant man Jack had been dealing with for a month that it was a little disconcerting.

"We need to clean up." said Jack gruffly. "The sewer stink isn't doing any good for anyone."

Ianto nodded, but he pulled out his phone and dialled a number. He obviously didn't get an answer because he looked upset as he snapped the phone closed. Jack jerked his head in the direction of the showers, "C'mon."

Ianto followed him. It was like Lisa had happened all over again, that same bloody subservience brought on by shock and guilt. Jack wondered if there was any way of snapping Ianto back to normal. The playful, quippy man who'd never been afraid to lace an innuendo into their private conversations. It would probably take time, and maybe it was for the best. Everyone, Jack included, was too raw and tender from the emotional battering they'd all taken lately for Ianto to be acting normally.

The showers were small, white-tiled cubicles with plain white curtains. Big enough for two if you squeezed, but Jack didn't feel like squeezing. He stripped off without looking at Ianto and then got into the shower, the cold jet of water before it heated up refreshing him. He heard Ianto get into the next shower and turn it on. Soon, he heard another set of footsteps. It was Owen, come to warm up. The girls were no doubt already in their shower area.

Jack had always resented the single-sex showers.

When he was warm again, and smelled like fruit and not shit, Jack got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Normally he wouldn't bother, especially since walking around naked was a great way to uniformly fluster both Ianto and Owen –for very different reasons. But games were not on the agenda today.

Jack dressed quickly, and was buttoning up his blue shirt as Ianto emerged slowly, rubbing a second towel over his hair. Jack stared at the wet chest for a moment, then looked away with a sigh. Only a month ago he wouldn't have hesitated.

Owen's arrival was very welcome. The brothers glanced at each other, then Ianto looked away, going to his locker and starting to dress. Owen watched him for a moment, then nearly bashed into the lockers behind him as he spun around when Ianto tugged the towel around his waist to start dressing. Jack felt laughter bubble up inside him as Owen tried to look casual and not embarrassed that he'd nearly seen his brother naked. He quickly repressed it, but felt his lips wobble, trying to smile.

It was only when Jack finished tying his bootlaces that he looked at Ianto again and did a double take. Ianto was wearing a suit. It was probably the only thing in his locker, but it still surprised Jack. It was like a uniform for Ianto, as if he was back in the team properly again and ready to work. Jack didn't know if that's what was going on in Ianto's head, but Jack knew he sure as hell wasn't going to just let things be normal again out of nowhere. They had to work at it. Ianto had to work at it.

Jack gave his bootlace a final tug and then stood up and strode out of the locker room.

~*~

Owen and Ianto watched him go, then Ianto pulled out his phone again. He made a call and snarled in frustration when he got no answer.

"If she's made it untrackable, what's the likelihood she'll answer you?" said Owen brusquely.

"It's worth a fucking try!" snapped Ianto.

"So that sad puppy act is only for Jack is it?" demanded Owen, feeling emotionally overstretched.

"-fucks sake there is no act! It's bad enough I've fucked up, but you do not get to start lording it over me again, this is as much your fault as anyone's!" Ianto slammed the locker shut and turned to face Owen.

"Lording it over you? You've been lording my mistake over me since it happened."

"And how long did it take you to stop after Lisa? At least four months. And in truth it never really stopped. You always had to belittle and sneer at everything I did. My suits, my coffee, my job, my relationship with Jack. You must absolutely thrilled to bits that I've fucked that up so bad."

"NO!!!"

Both men visibly jumped and looked to the doorway. Tosh was in furious tears, her hair still soaking as she glared at them.

"No! You two cannot keep fighting! I can't take anymore of your bullshit! Neither of you are in the right and neither of you has the right to be arrogant about the other. If you have to fight, if that's your awful, pathetic way of handling your relationship, then fucking do it outside this Hub. But I cannot listen to another minute of your petty and self-righteous fighting!"

Both of them snapped their mouths shut, mostly out of shock. Ianto dropped his eyes, looking guilty. A moment later Owen did the same. They looked up again as Gwen came in, put her arms around Tosh and led her out of the changing room, murmuring soothing words to her.

Neither Ianto or Owen said anything more as they dressed and then made their way up to the Hub, a huge gap between them as they went.

As they entered the Main Hub, they saw Jack snapping his phone shut.

"Micka's not answering her phone for me either."

Ianto narrowed his eyes in obvious annoyance, although whether it was at the nickname or the fact that Jack was calling her was anyone's guess. But he said nothing and looked around as if searching for something to do. Jack glanced at his watch. Owen checked his phone. It was nearly five. It had taken that long to sort out the damn Weevils in the shitty weather.

Jack dropped his hand into a sweeping circle as it went down to his waist and then up behind his opposite elbow as he folded his arms with a sigh. "Maybe we should call it a day. We're all tired and wrung out. Go home you two. When the girls come up I'll send them along as well."

Owen glanced at Ianto then stuck his hand in his pocket, clasping the Thunderbird 2 box, which he'd been carrying around everywhere since Ianto had given it to him. He still hadn't been able to make his decision. It was a surprisingly hard thing to decide if he could really forgive his mother, after all this time. He saw how unhappy Ianto looked at the idea of going home and cleared his throat, about to suggest that Ianto come with him, but their argument still stung, even if Tosh's tears had hurt more. So instead he said to Jack,

"Right, I'm off then. Oh, by the way, I'm keeping that tooth Ianto knocked out of your hard head. Anything of yours is bound to have some freakish properties, including those blinding tombstones you call teeth."

Jack scowled at him, but nodded. Owen nodded back and then walked out. Ianto followed him. They were silent as they went into the car park. Ianto watched as Owen got in his car. Owen rolled his eyes and rolled down the window.

"What are you looking for?" he asked, feeling tired.

"I don't know anymore." said Ianto, looking lost.

"Yeah… well, that makes two of us." Owen started the engine. "Must run in the family."

He reversed out of the parking space, then turned towards the exit. He looked up at the rearview mirror and stared at Ianto, who was staring back. Owen tapped his fingers against the dashboard, palms spread out over the wheel. He should probably call Ianto to him, let him stay with him, give him some kind of reassurance. But Owen decided it was important that Ianto see he would not get any sympathy for his fuck ups. Owen never did.

Ok, that was a lie, but as Owen drove away, he insistently told himself that this was for the better. If Ianto saw how alone he could end up being if he didn't stop his behaviour, then maybe there was a chance they could all sit down and sort this out.

Owen didn't dare look back lest he change his mind.

* * *

I'm feeling quite bad for Tosh now. More soon. Reviews are awesome!

Night's Darkness/Ginger


	37. Chapter 33

Argh! Life is a mean cause of writers block! Be forewarned I've not got the highest belief in this chapter, so if it fails, please tell me, and please feel free to tell me what you would like to see happen (aside from Owen and Ianto making up, Jack and Ianto making up, Michaela and Ianto making up and Michaela dying –yup that's come up _again_!). I'm curious to see what you think will happen. I have it all planned out, but I'm always interested to see what you think will happen.

This chapter has not been beta-ed either, to add to my nerves.

I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter 33**

_(21__st__ September 2008)_

Ianto was able to get an umbrella from the Tourist Office, which had begun to gather dust, and walked home in the pouring rain. He didn't feel like trying to get a lift off of Gwen or Tosh and he couldn't even really look at Jack at the moment. He shook the droplets off himself and dumped his umbrella and suit jacket by the door, and kicked off his shoes.

He went through the kitchen, released the rabbits and made himself some hot chocolate. It was only six, but he was exhausted, in every way. Señor sniffed around his feet, and Bart bullied Señor away so Bart could stretch across Ianto's feet like a cat would.

Ianto watched them, feeling utterly undeserving of their affection and trust. He hadn't felt this crap in years. He was the lowest of the low, he really was.

_It hadn't been for him__._

Michaela hadn't been in the house long, just over a week, but the house felt quiet and empty without her. Ianto pulled a face at himself. God he'd fucked up big time now. And he was worried. Where could she have gone? She had to still be in the city, but the idea of her alone in Cardiff made his whole body shiver with anxious fear. Now if he could only have said that when she'd told him about the policeman and the coffee, at least that would have sounded somewhat concerned, if paranoid. But no, he had to be a prick and say the one thing he promised never to say. In fact, he'd promised her twice! Once when they agreed to be together and then a second time after the trial.

Finishing the hot chocolate, and nudging Bart off his feet, Ianto reached out and grabbed Señor Fluffles and lifted him up with a loud grunt.

"C'mon Bart." he called, staggering his way under Señor's weight through the hall and up the stairs. Bart scrambled after him, hauling his way up the stairs, one at a time. Ianto paused outside Michaela's room, and then pushed it open, staring inside. It looked so empty. Setting Señor down, Ianto moved into the room, the rabbits following. He sat on the bed and picked up the pillow. He pressed his nose against the cover and inhaled the appley scent of Michaela that was there. Swallowing hard, Ianto tucked it under his chin and stared into space, wishing he could take the words back. Unbidden and unwanted, his mind brought forth the day he'd made his second, more significant promise.

_(3__rd__ March 2003) _

It was dark outside, a big storm was rolling into Glasgow, with a high chance the roads would flood and for that reason, Ianto was staying in Torchwood House. It was not for anything else, especially not sex. He'd had to pretty much state it openly to convince Michaela, the girl he was starting to call his girlfriend, in his head at least, that it was better to let him stay.

Michaela was having a bad day. She had good days, and bad days, much like Ianto himself. Sometimes she could be completely at ease with him and put her arms around his neck, even give him full on kisses on the mouth if she was excited enough. But there were days where she was anxious and nervous about everything, her self confidence lost in the gutter somewhere and she couldn't let Ianto touch her. Ianto did not like those days, and unfortunately, today was one of them. Ianto had come up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders and pressed his lips to the back of her neck, and she'd jumped and dropped her cup of tea. Ianto had made her sit on the table holding Dubhtach in her arms so she could calm down and the puppy wouldn't step on any of the pieces of china while he swept up.

Puppy may have been a bad word for Dubhtach thought Ianto as he lay on the floor, with Dubhtach lying next to him. She was already twice the size she'd been when Ianto had met her, and was still growing. Ianto was starting to see why her breed was nicknamed 'little horses'.

Dubhtach wagged her tail as Ianto scratched her behind the ears, on his other side, Michaela was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. She was preoccupied, and he hadn't been able to get the exact reason, although he'd heard Archie telling her off earlier and was rather sure that was a strong factor.

"So… are we gonna do anything tonight?" Ianto asked glibly as a silence stretched between them. Michaela gave him a sharp look, "I didn't mean anything like that. I just meant… an activity of some kind besides staring at the ceiling."

Michaela stared at him, then sat up sharply, grabbing a cushion from the couch next to them and hugging it.

"I'm sorry, I've just got… stuff on my mind."

"Like what?"

She shrugged, picking at her nails, "Just stuff."

Ianto sat up, letting Dubhtach half climb into his lap as she licked his face. "You can tell me." He was so bored he didn't really care what it was, and besides, he didn't like her depressed.

Michaela dawdled, pursing her lips and looking around the room, rocking back and forth on her bum as she tried to find the words. Finally,

"It's… a lot of things. Archie's annoyed with me for defending this guy down in Cardiff's branch, but I dunno, he's just starting out with being in charge, and everyone makes mistakes, yeah? And… and I still can't get what Blaine said out of my head. You know, at the trial."

Blaine's trial had been a month ago, and Ianto had to admit he had been as anxious and nervous as Michaela had been, but she'd been scared of coming face to face with Blaine, while Ianto had just been terrified of talking to the jury and judge about what had happened the night he'd interfered.

It hadn't taken long to find Blaine guilty, because of all the evidence Michaela had given, in horrific detail, and the physical evidence from the night. Ianto had been enraged by the sentence though. Eight measly years in prison, and that wasn't including good behaviour. It could be less than five if the bastard behaved himself.

As Blaine had been taken away, he'd suddenly turned to glare at Michaela and had said, in a calm, creepy voice,

"Doesn't matter how long I'm in there, you'll be mine again when I get out. You'll always be my whore! Always!"

Michaela had kept it together until he was out of the room and had then thrown up all over Archie's shoes.

"Don't you listen to him! He's not going to touch you again." said Ianto sharply, returning to the present. Michaela nodded, but she didn't look convinced.

"It was what he said, not that he said it, y'know?"

"You mean calling you a whore? If you're a whore I'm the fucking Pope!"

"No, not that… I mean, that did bother me, but I was more thinking about… he said I was his."

"You're not."

"I don't want to belong to anyone." she murmured, still hugging the pillow.

"You won't." said Ianto, wanting to touch her in reassurance, but not willing to risk it when she was so jumpy. So he scratched under Dubhtach's chin instead.

Michaela swallowed, she hadn't met Ianto's eyes throughout the conversation. "You called me yours."

"Eh? No I didn't!"

"You called me your girlfriend."

"Wha- No I –oh…" Ianto felt the colour flooding his cheeks. He'd been on the phone to his boss, who'd wanted him for the evening shift, and Ianto had had to explain why he wasn't able to. He had used the word girlfriend, but he'd thought she was in the bathroom. "I just… I mean I know we haven't really dated or anything, but I-"

"It's not the word girlfriend, it's the my before it." Michaela said, digging the ball of her socked foot into the carpet, looking uncomfortable. "I just… I don't want to be anyone's anything right now."

"So… I can't call you my friend?"

"We are friends, we're probably more than that. I never let my friends grope my breasts, even before Blaine shattered my confidence." She gave a small, self-deprecatory smile, "But I just… I can't be anyone's girlfriend, or lover, or… or anything like that. I can't let anyone claim me like that again, I just can't."

Ianto saw the pain on her face, and he recognised it in his own when ever anyone called him 'son' or 'boy'. He shifted so he was sitting side by side with her, and said softly,

"When we agreed to try to be together, you told me to promise never to claim you. I promised then and I'm promising now. I'll never claim you. I won't ever try to own you."

Michaela looked up and she gave him a small, proper smile, and squeezed his hand, then let him lace their fingers. "I know you won't. I trust you."

_(21__st__ September 2008)_

'_I trust you.'_

She'd trusted him never to say those words to her. One single bloody statement he was never supposed to utter and he'd gone and done it. If she never forgave him it would be too soon.

Ianto buried his head in his hands, willing both Michaela and Jack to vacate his mind. He couldn't think about either of them. He just couldn't.

With a soft whimper, he got to his feet and hurried into his own bedroom. He stripped down to his pants and then climbed into his bed and curled up, holding Señor to his chest. Señor sniffed at Ianto's hair, as Ianto leaned over the edge of the bed and scooped the tiny Bart up into his hand, setting him on the bed next to Señor. As he lay on his back, Señor stuck his nose in Ianto's ear. It tickled and got a hiccupping giggle out of him, which he quickly repressed. He'd no business laughing.

_It hadn't been for him. _

Bart sniffed at the sheets, nipped at them with his teeth, scratched them with his trimmed nails, then looked up at Ianto. Ianto watched him, idly stroking Señor's back. Then Bart seemed to back up a little, flattened his ears and then took a flying leap into the air.

"Oaf! Bart!" gasped Ianto as the little rabbit belly-flopped onto Ianto's stomach, knocking the air out of him. Bart stretched himself out across Ianto's stomach and stared at him in an 'what are you gonna do about it?' expression. Ianto's lips spread into a small smile and he petted Bart's head. Señor took his nose out of Ianto's ear and settled in the snug space between Ianto's body and his arm. Ianto sighed and rested a hand on each of the rabbits' backs. At least he hadn't managed to drive these two away.

Ianto closed his eyes, sure he would not be able to sleep, but when he opened his eyes again, he was bewildered by the light that was seeping into his room through the curtain material. At some point during the night, Ianto had rolled onto his front, his arms stretched out to the other side of the bed, searching for a warm body. Whose he was searching for was a question he was not answering. Bart was now resting on the small of his back, but Ianto didn't realise this until he started to roll over and heard a soft thump of something landing on the floor.

Bart gave Ianto a disgusted look and lopped out of the room, nose in the air. Señor emerged from the sheets looking bleary eyed and dazed as he searched belatedly for the source of the noise. Ianto watched him, and smiled as he recalled how dazed Jack could be after a proper night's sleep. Then the smile faded and he sat up, hugging his knees as he recalled just why he was sleeping with his rabbits and why he felt so crap.

As he glanced at the glowing curtains, Ianto wondered what the hell he was meant to do today. He was alone, the team was a wreck because of him, he'd hurt Jack, and he'd hurt Michaela, and Owen and he were no closer to a resolution and Ianto still didn't know what resolution he wanted.

Suddenly, all he wanted to do was curl up under the covers and not emerge until something happened in the stagnating pool of piss that was his life. But that would make him the shit of the pool and he couldn't stand to be that. No, he would get up, get dressed and do something, even if it was just trailing the streets trying to track Michaela down.

_It hadn't been for him._

He showered and began to dress, giving a start of surprise when he realised he'd been pulling on a suit automatically. He thought about changing again, but the suit felt good on him. It made him feel like maybe he wasn't a complete arse.

He put the rabbits away, having to chase Bart, who was still miffed, around the sitting room several times before he could catch him and put him away with Señor. Then he gathered his phone, his wallet, his keys and was out the door with absolutely no idea where he was going.

Ianto decided to go to the Plass and try and guess where Michaela could have gone from there. He didn't want to admit that it was pointless as she would have gone somewhere from his house after she gathered all her things.

The Plass's was still dark with dampness after all the rain from yesterday and the night before. There was the sound of water flowing into gutters and into the Bay, and the Water Tower seemed to be pouring water down its own sides faster than usual. There were people hurrying to work and for the first time in a while, Ianto wished he was going to work. He missed working, even if it was only making coffee and filing reports. At least it allowed him to feel useful instead of worthless.

The minute that thought hit him he shook his head, and inwardly scolded himself for being self-pitying. He rolled his sleeves up and rested his forearms on the railing around the Bay, staring out at the calm waters, and wishing he knew what to do.

All the anger, all the hurt, was giving way to total guilt. He still hated what Jack and Owen had done, but now he couldn't hold it against them for what he'd done.

_It hadn't been for him._

Ianto closed his eyes, liking the feel of the soft breeze on his freshly shaven face. And, as soon as he did, his mind began to torment him

_-tears in her green eyes, she can't look at him, even as her hand rests on the back of his neck and squeezes to encourage him to keep going. He moves his hips again, certain if he moves wrong he's going to hurt her more-_

_-soft moans escape her sultry mouth, her back is arched. He can't take his eyes off_ _the contrast of her gorgeous, chocolate dark skin against his white skin. Her hair is a_ _curtain across the pillow-_

_-the freedom, the delight, the realisation that it is something he can want and enjoy. The feeling of his hands holding him with care, not roughness, the feeling of release rising up ever higher, the deeper he goes. He's pushing away every bad time, every bitter, twisted fuck. He's going to, oh!-_

_-resting his head on her chest, liking the cushioning of her breasts under his ear, enjoying the feeling of her hips in his hands, the soft skin, liking how they match they're both so pale. He presses his lips to the curve of the left one, peeping up at her, and she laughs, to his delight, teasing him for looking so innocent.-_

_-holding her hand, kissing it, feeding her pieces of food from his plate. No one else exists, the world falls away. Her foot is teasing his, rubbing at the arch where he's ticklish. He blushes, wishing he was more astute at this for her-_

_-a hand on the small of his back. Means so much, says so little. He shouldn't want this. He shouldn't want him. It's the very thing he's been running from, he doesn't want –he can't want –what's the matter with him?-_

"Ianto!"

Ianto jumped. At some point he'd covered his eyes with his hands and had begun to breathe heavily, as he tried to repress sobs. He lowered them and realised it was beginning to rain again. Looking to his left, he was surprised to see Gwen next to him, staring at him carefully.

"Gwen."

"Hey." her voice was soft, like she was avoiding raising it. "How're you doing?"

"I…" Ianto couldn't even begin to answer that.

"Yeah." drawled Gwen, as if understanding what his silence meant. She curled her fingers around the railing, straightening her arms and leaning back on her heels. Her face was scrunched a little against the wind that was blowing her forever free hair in every direction.

"Did Jack send you out here to make sure I don't jump?"

"No. I came out here because I thought I should talk to you."

Ianto closed his eyes. He did love Gwen, but if she tried to give him a speech he was going to walk away.

"I think you should talk to Tosh."

Ianto's eyes snapped open, "Huh?"

"I think you should talk to her. Something's really bothering her, and she won't talk to me. You're her friend, her best friend here, yeah? So maybe you can help her. It's bad enough you, Owen and Jack are all in a snit with each other, right when we should be sticking together but Tosh doesn't deserve to be hurting too."

Ianto swallowed. He knew exactly why Tosh was upset, but he wasn't sure what he could do to help soothe her fears. He was still sure that Michaela would keep them from getting in trouble with UNIT but if she didn't and Ianto promised Tosh everything would be fine, it would hurt her all the more.

Heaving a deep sigh, Ianto turned away from the railings, looking up at the Water Tower. He wasn't sure if he was only thinking that to avoid having to go into that Hub and facing Jack. If he was he was being selfish again, because Tosh did not deserve any of the pain she was feeling. And Ianto had always wanted to make her life better, not worse.

"Ok. Let's go." he said decisively. Gwen gave a start. Clearly she hadn't expected it to be that easy.

"Uh –right! Ok, let's go."

Together they walked across the Plass and down to the Tourist Office. Gwen went inside first, tossing her hair out of her face and hitting Ianto in the face as she did. Ianto said nothing, too busy trying to figure out how to talk to Tosh. The ride in the lift was quiet, until it came to a stop. Gwen put her hand on his arm, making him pause.

"Ianto… Look, I'm not gonna pretend I get what in God's name goes on in your head. I never have understood how your mind works. But I'm telling you now, sort yourself out, because this team is falling apart and as much as I'm sure you didn't mean it, you're the one behind most of it."

It was on the tip of Ianto's tongue to make a snide remark about how Gwen sorted herself out by shagging Owen, but he held it back. He'd never once made any show of his opinion of her for what she'd done. But Ianto had lost a fair bit of respect for her when he figured it out, because he felt if you had someone who loved you, then hurting them, cheating on them, made you a low life. But, seeing as he currently was one, he said nothing. A nod was his only reply.

Gwen nodded as if satisfied and then strode in front of him as the cog wheel rolled away and they entered the Main Hub. Gwen quickly moved up to her own desk, on the left of Tosh, leaving Ianto in a near direct line for her.

Ianto glanced around. He could hear Owen in the Autopsy Bay, but he couldn't see or hear Jack anywhere. Tosh hadn't looked at him yet. But Ianto was sure she knew he was there. Gwen gave him an insistent look. But Ianto was not going to rush this to please her. This was now strictly between him and Tosh.

Tosh looked haggard, like she hadn't slept well in days. Dark semi-circles marked the skin under her eyes and she looked pale and drawn. Her fingers were flying across the keyboard, all her attention on the computer screen. Ianto gulped, his stomach twisting as he slowly approached the stairs and climbed them. He stopped just near her station, waiting. Tosh finished a long line of code, then pulled off her glasses and turned her chair to meet his eyes.

Betrayal was the first emotion that Ianto saw in her eyes. The gnawing guilt seemed to double in size. Ianto resisted the urge to fidget.

"Hi Tosh."

She said nothing, only stared at him, waiting. Ianto sighed, knowing he had to face up to his own mistakes. "Can we talk? I mean, privately. Please."

Tosh stared at him for a whole minute. Owen, still pottering around in the Autopsy Bay let out a swear about 'alien gonads'. Then Tosh reached out and picked up her purse.

"Let's get a coffee."

Ianto felt relief roll through his body, as he nodded, almost eagerly.

"Ok!"

His eagerness earned a faint, almost amused smile on Tosh's face as she got to her feet and put on her coat. She glanced at Gwen who nodded. She turned to face Ianto who tried to look… friendly?

"Come on then."

They took the Invisible Lift, hurrying across the Plass to a nearby café. Ianto bought them both lattes and they sat in a corner. Ianto cupped the mug in his hands and stared at it. He hadn't a clue how to start this conversation. Was saying sorry jumping the gun?

Tosh was no help. She was waiting for him to say the first words. Well, they were the only ones he could think of, so he said,

"I'm sorry."

Tosh did not react at all. Ianto swallowed and pressed on,

"I'm sorry about what this review has put you through, but I promise you, I never meant for it to happen. None of this was meant to happen."

Tosh still said nothing. Ianto fumbled to explain himself,

"I just wanted Michaela to help me get out of the Hub. Under Archie's authority she could have overruled Jack's decision to keep me there. She wasn't meant to do the review, it wasn't even her idea. It was Archie's. Look, I know how bad it must have been for you and I know how scared you probably are about the idea of going… going back there. And I'm sorry, Tosh, I really am sorry for all of it. I know I've fucked up really badly here. But believe me, I know that Michaela's gonna do everything she can to save you."

That he was sure of. Michaela may have been furious with him but she had a strong respect and admiration for Tosh and would not let her get sent back to UNIT.

Tosh said nothing still for a whole three minutes. Ianto did not know what more to say. Finally, Toshiko said in a soft voice,

"Why the sudden change of heart? Why do you suddenly feel the need to apologise?"

Ianto tried to swallow, but his mouth was very dry. He had no idea how to explain this to her. But he owed it to her to try.

"I… Something Jack said… it made me realise that… even though I have a right to be angry with them for what they did, I can't be angry about why they did it. Because it wasn't for me."

"I don't understand."

"… I'm not sure it's my place to explain Jack's motives –which I know sounds ridiculous all things considered, but it was a very personal reason… and it wasn't to do with me."

Tosh frowned, her latte forgotten. Ianto pressed on, "I realised that, because it wasn't for me… there was no need to do what I did. So… I guess I've realised that Jack and Owen didn't make me the monster I became by what I did. I made myself that monster."

"Oh for heaven's sake!" snapped Tosh, "You are not a monster, and it was never about your right to punish him being greater than theirs. You were angry because felt humiliated because Jack and Owen knew about what happened to you, what he did to you. Because you're ashamed of it."

"Of course I am! How else should I feel?" demanded Ianto, trying to keep his voice and his temper down.

"That's understandable, but you made up this whole idea to satisfy your need for power and control that only you could punish that man, that his existence and his life was in your hands at all times. As if you could control the free will of others! And when Jack and Owen proved you couldn't control them and Ivor Jones, you took the most extreme action you could think of and you became angry because you'd always considered yourself magnanimous in restraining yourself."

Ianto looked away, feeling worse than ever. Tosh's words had a horrible ring of truth. But he didn't want to be that bad of a person. He did want to be a good person.

Tosh suddenly touched his hand. Ianto nearly jumped. Tosh sighed,

"Ianto, you are a good person. I'd like to think that I know you, even if you wouldn't share your secrets with me like I shared with you-"

"Your secret showed how brave you are. Mine… mine just shows how pathetic I am."

"Surviving that kind of thing proves your strength."

"Not if its revelation causes my whole life to unravel. I've ruined everything. Tosh… I don't know what to do, where to start trying to… I want to… I don't know anymore!" Ianto sat back, admitting defeat. He had tried to convince himself that he knew what he was doing. But he couldn't fight the facts anymore. He hadn't a clue what to do or how to fix this. And God did he want to. He really did. He didn't know how he wanted it to be fixed, but he wanted it fixed.

"Ianto… get a grip!" snapped Tosh. Ianto clammed up at once. "If you want any chance of us fixing this –and yes this will require all of us- you need to get yourself under control. So much pain could have been avoided if you just controlled yourself."

Ianto felt his own eyes flash in anger. Twice now he'd been told off for not controlling his own emotions. Was he not allowed to be emotional ever? Yes, he was well aware of his own mistakes from his bad temper, but he was sure he was allowed to-

"Ianto I'm not telling you to ignore your feelings, but you can't deny that you haven't exactly been letting them out the healthy way!"

Ianto nodded, conceding the point.

"But who in God's name knows how to handle emotions healthily in Torchwood?" he said, irritably. Tosh pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing deeply. "No, I'm not kidding Tosh. Look at how Gwen handled it, look how Owen handled it, look how you handle it. Archie can perceive emotions like an empathy, but he handles them as well as bloody Vulcan!"

Tosh blinked in surprise, and then laughed quietly, "I thought he was a really loud Scottish man… hard to imagine a Vulcan like that."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Maybe, but he's a perfect fusion of it."

"How do you even know him? Tell me about her and him, and… just talk to me Ianto."

Ianto instantly felt the urge to snap his mouth shut and say nothing, a habit he'd developed over the years, because he was afraid letting one thing out would bring all of it out. But he met Tosh's eyes and knew she was striving to find something that made sense, that she was trying to re-establish a connection with him. And Ianto loved her all the more in that moment as he forced his walls down and began to talk to her.

"I was in Glasgow, I was about 18…"

He wouldn't mention Blaine, or anything that Michaela would want kept secret, but he realised he had far more in the story between him and her than just a painful battering from a bastard.

Tosh ate up every word, and even laughed as he tried to convey just how large Dubhtach had gotten in a year. The sound seemed to sooth the frayed nerves around Ianto's chest, and for the first time since Jack had made it clear that _It hadn't been for him_ Ianto felt that something in his life was salvageable.

And Tosh was definitely worth salvaging.

* * *

All comments and thoughts are appreciated.

Night's Darkness


	38. Chapter 34

Ok, I dunno if anyone noticed, but at the end of chapter 22 about a page and a half of the story wasn't posted the first time around. I'm sorry I didn't notice it before, but the problem is fixed now. I'd say it's a case of rush posting = messy results. Sorry about that!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 34**

_(22__nd__ September 2008)_

"Do you want to come back with me?" Tosh was careful not to let Ianto see what she wanted. He had to decide on his own. Ianto squinted in the afternoon, bright but cool September sun, in the direction of the Plass. He swallowed,

"I dunno… is it likely I'll be thrown back out again?"

"I don't know." Tosh was being honest, but in her heart, she did not think Jack would throw Ianto out. Jack was trying to be rational, she could see it on his face every time he looked at Owen, every time he glanced at his phone. Although who he was hoping to hear from was something to wonder.

Ianto glanced up at the sky, biting his lower lip in nervousness. Then he said, "Just give me a minute, please."

Tosh nodded, and stepped away from him as he pulled out his phone. It was no surprise to her that he clearly got no answer, Jack had tried twice and had gotten nothing while Tosh herself had tried to track the woman down via CCTV but she'd either avoided them or erased the footage because she hadn't been able to find her. Now she was curious as to why Michaela was hiding so thoroughly as well as where.

Ianto sounded depressed as he left a short message, asking for a call back. He hung up and rejoined her, putting the phone back into his jackets pocket.

"Jack's had no luck either." Tosh offered in comfort. Ianto made a strange face. "What?"

"It's just… right now I can't think about Jack and Michaela. I mean, together."

"I saw the footage of them kissing-"

"It wasn't the kiss that set me off you know." Ianto's tone was abrupt. Tosh raised her eyebrows in dubiousness. "Not the act of kissing. It was because of… because of how Michaela feels about Jack. I couldn't… I'm a selfish arse, amn't I?"

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about."

"It… I don't want to talk about this."

Like a vice, Tosh grabbed Ianto's arms, pulling him back. "Ianto you're finally talking about the problems here, don't stop now!"

Ianto immediately touched her hand, meeting her eyes carefully, "I'm not. But I think I need to talk to her first. It's… telling you about her and me is one thing… but this feels like pulling you in amidst the relationships complexities. And… those are private. Between her and me alone. At least for now. If she ever talks to me again, then I might be able to talk about it with you. But… you have to understand-"

"It was always just the two of you. No one else ever factored in your relationship."

"Oh… you do understand." Ianto looked a little disconcerted.

"I may be a computer geek but I'm not that socially inept." smiled Tosh, deliberately sliding her hand under his elbow and around it. "Come on, let's go."

A bit of colour fled Ianto's cheeks, but Tosh did not let go. Instead she steered him towards the Hub, determined to get him inside. After that, she would stand and be a silent supporter. Ianto had to be the one to decide the next step.

The alarms seemed louder than usual, as the cog wheel rolled away and revealed the messy Hub. Tosh glanced up at Jack's office and saw he was back. He was sitting at his desk, working on something and steadfastly not looking out the window. Gwen was still at her desk, although now she was chatting to someone on the phone and flicking through a bridal magazine. Owen was still down in the Autopsy Bay.

Tosh let Ianto go and moved to her own station, logging back on and returning to her work. Ianto stood in front of the cog wheel, looking around. He felt very wrong footed. Every instinct in his body was telling him to go make coffee, like he always did upon first entering the Hub. But his head was demanding how he could be so presumptuous. Still, what else could he do? He couldn't just go down to the Archives, and he couldn't bear to go up to Jack or down to Owen. So, feeling his face flushing in self-consciousness, he made his way slowly to the coffee machine. With a start he realised it wasn't the one he knew. Where was…

Oh, right. Ianto grimaced as he remembered how he'd destroyed his coffee machine, just to annoy and hurt Jack. Christ that seemed so petty now. Still, he was pretty sure this one could work, so he straightened his back and approached it with determination. It was a little like his first day at the Hub, trying to make perfect coffee for each of them so he could start to prove himself. That had been the first time Ianto had seen Owen since he was 13 at their mam's funeral. He'd not realised Owen worked for Jack, as he'd focused all his energy on Jack. But he'd recognised him at once.

_(28__th __February 2007)_

Why couldn't Ianto have started working on the 1st of March? He wasn't that superstitious, but he couldn't help feel that it was not a good omen to start on the last day of the month. Why couldn't it have been a leap year?

"Hey, don't look so nervous." said Jack, clapping him on the shoulder. Ianto hid a grimace. That shoulder had been injured during the Battle at Canary Warf, and had been hurt even more when Jack had landed on him last night. Now it nearly screamed in pain as Jack gave it a lingering squeeze that would have made Ianto feel terrified if he had not very deliberately focused his mind on Lisa and getting this job done. "Just make the team the coffee you gave me, and you'll be all set."

Ianto nodded, swallowing hard. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he knew who it was calling him. There was only one person alive who would call him now. But like he'd told Michaela a thousand times now, he didn't need her help. He was doing fine, and did not need a counsellor. Thankfully, Michaela was busy looking after all the other survivors as well, and they were so traumatised that it was taking a lot of Michaela's energy just to keep them on a suicide watch.

As Jack led the way into the Hub, via the tourist office, Ianto wondered if Jack even knew of the work Michaela and Archie were doing in relation to Canary Warf and the survivors. Michaela did tend to do a lot of the jobs she didn't think Jack would want, and she definitely kept it a secret that she was defending him almost every day to UNIT. Michaela insisted that it was because she didn't want Jack to be stressed as his job was hard enough. Ianto was sure that was, for the most part, true. But after spending so much time at London, and hearing all the rumours, Ianto wondered if Jack deserved defending.

"Woah!" All thoughts of Michaela, Canary Warf and even Lisa fled from his mind as he saw the Hub for the first time. It was very spectacular. As if to add to the dramatic impact, the pterodactyl he and Jack had rescued last night soared overhead with a screech. "I see you gave her a home."

"Yeah, there's a ledge up near the ceiling we can let her nest in. I'm saying that on the assumption that pterodactyls make nests."

That had not occurred to Ianto, but now that it had, he did wonder.

"They're not birds. Not even related to birds. Birds are the descendants of Raptors, one of the dinosaurs, but pterodactyls aren't the same species as dinosaurs." he said this more to himself, but Jack glanced at him curiously.

"You know Raptors did not look like Jurassic Park's version, yes?"

"Of course. I like to keep up with dinosaur research. They're… cool."

"Cool?" repeated Jack, a grin trying to break out. Ianto shrugged, feeling daft,

"They're dinosaurs sir, hard to not like them."

"True enough. You know there's one named after Harry Potter."

"The Dracorex Hogwartsia, yes sir, I know." Ianto prided himself on knowing everything. Having a large heap of knowledge at his disposal had proven useful, it made him interesting to others at London, including Lisa, because they'd usually come away from Ianto with some new fact about the world. His carefully acquired friends had called him their 'Welsh Stephen Fry'.

He quickly put this thought to the back of his mind. Best not to dwell. Jack, meanwhile, had grinned at him.

"You're gonna be full of surprises, aren't you?"

Ianto thought about Lisa, trapped in the conversion unit, waiting to be saved.

"Possibly sir."

Jack took him on a tour, and Ianto made mental notes of possible places to hide Lisa. Then Jack asked for some coffee and Ianto, seeing there were three other team members, went to start making coffee, managing to find some beans that he could use. He threw out the instant.

By the time he was nearly finished, the cog wheel rolled away, and in came a small Asian woman.

"Ah! Toshiko! Come and meet our latest addition."

Toshiko blinked owlishly from behind her thick black glasses as she set her bag down.

"Latest addition? A weevil you mean?"

"Nope! Come and meet Ianto!"

Tosh looked around as Jack gestured to Ianto, who flushed and smiled tightly. Tosh blushed too, although that was probably about the Weevil comment.

"Oh, hello!"

"Hello. Coffee?"

"Oh yes please. It smells good."

"It should taste better." said Jack, inhaling deeply.

The cog wheel rolled away again, "That'll be Owen and Suzie. Subtle as a brick those two." said Jack as Ianto poured him the coffee.

Ianto glanced up, if he knew who he was dealing with, he would be able to get Lisa in here.

First came a woman who looked to be of Spanish origin, and then a man who made Ianto start in shock.

It was Owen! His fucking brother worked for _Torchwood_? What's more, Jack had probably hired him without a fuss.

Owen sauntered in, looking worn out from a fun night and dumped his coat at his station.

"Who's the suit?" asked Suzie, coming over to them.

"This is Ianto Jones. He's gonna be working here from now on."

If Ianto hadn't been staring at Owen, who'd stiffened at his name, he would have see Suzie eye him up and then glance at Jack in amusement. Owen, meanwhile, was slowly turning to face Ianto. Ianto did not want a confrontation, and as soon as he saw the uncertainty of the recognition in Owen's face he immediately said,

"Coffee sir?"

"Oi! I'm the only sir around here thank you. These are your co-workers Ianto, you don't have to address them otherwise."

"Erm… thank you, sir." Ianto felt his face heating up as Owen continued to stare blankly at him. Owen didn't recognise him. Well that just made the whole thing worse.

"Well, time to get to work, off you go. Ianto, see me in my office when you're done with the coffee, I'll explain your duties."

Ianto nodded, watching Jack go and then looking at Owen who drank the coffee Tosh passed him, and walked away without a backward glance. Ianto sighed. He would have to sort that out before he could get down to business. So he cleaned up the machine, then went up to Jack, who gave him a long, and inventive, list of tasks to do. After assuring Jack he could handle it, Ianto screwed up his courage and made his way over to the Autopsy Bay.

Owen was elbows deep in some alien Ianto didn't recognise. There was a frown on his face and he was talking into a microphone.

"-Appears to have three heart vessels… colour of the blood would suggest copper is a main component- what do you want?" He'd noticed Ianto standing there.

Ianto swallowed, then moved down the small flight of steps, waiting until he was close enough to speak softly, to say,

"This is unexpected. Didn't know you were here."

Owen stared at him for a few minutes, looking unsure, but then his expression cleared and then contorted into a scowl.

"You."

"Me."

"What the fuck are you doing working for Torchwood? Of all the bloody luck!"

"My sentiments exactly." said Ianto sharply. He was in no mood to try and play kiss up with his brother, not when he had so many other things on his mind. "I thought you were in London working as a Doctor."

"I am a doctor thank you very much tea-boy." snarled Owen, although he too was keeping his voice down. "What about you? Working as a secretary? After all those 'special' classes."

Ianto flushed, but then he straightened up.

"So are you going to tell the Captain or am I?"

"What's to tell? 'S far as I'm concerned I don't know you." Owen's voice was vicious, and Ianto was too preoccupied to feel the hurt he was entitled to feel. In fact, pretending he didn't know Owen was exactly what he needed, because it was one less thing he would have to worry about.

"Fine, your call. I don't care." he said as a parting shot before returning to the Main Hub without looking back.

_(22__nd__ September 2008)_

"What do you think you're doing?"

Ianto jumped, he'd been lost in his own thoughts, so he hadn't notice Jack's sudden appearance beside him. Something cold seemed to spread across his back as he slowly turned to face his boss and… were they still lovers or ex-lovers now? Ianto wasn't sure.

"I'm… I'm making coffee." he said, quietly.

Jack stared at him, unreadable as the machine hissed. His voice was soft, more curious than accusing.

"Do you really think making coffee will fix things?"

"What else can I do, really?" asked Ianto, feeling helpless. He couldn't just pretend everything was ok, but equally, he couldn't just sit around and do nothing. Trying to do his job, do the things the rest of the team never did seemed a good middle ground.

Jack stared at him for a few minutes, while Ianto continued to make the coffee. Unnoticed by them, the smell had attracted Owen back up into the Main Hub and he stood very still, watching them. He too had an unreadable expression. The girls were staring unseeing at their screens, willing something good to happen.

Finally, Ianto was done, and he automatically passed the coffee to Jack in his blue and white stripped mug, because he was right next to him. Jack did not take it. Ianto froze, realising what he'd done, but he kept the coffee proffered, letting Jack weigh his mind up.

Ianto didn't try to send any message with his eyes or face to Jack, hell he didn't know what he felt about Jack right now, so he couldn't broadcast it anyway. He just waited, wondering if normality would triumph over confusion.

Jack sighed, his shoulders moving back, and then he reached out and took the mug from Ianto's hand. Their fingers touched briefly, and Ianto could not begin to decide what the flare of emotion he felt at the touch was.

Jack took a long sip, his eyes focused on Ianto completely. As he lowered the mug, swallowing the mouthful, he gave the slightest of nods. Then he turned around and walked back up to his office. Ianto let out a sigh of relief, hurrying to give the women their coffees. He then hesitated at Owen's mug.

In his mind the question 'Who is in the wrong here?' ran through his mind. After all, Owen had started this… hadn't he? Ianto couldn't really remember, and he had an eidetic memory. Although he had begun to wonder if his emotions altered his memories, gave him a rose-coloured outlook on some parts of his life. Like Lisa… and Michaela.

Ianto was beginning to think he'd made a mistake in calling her down. But he'd needed her, and he'd missed her… hadn't he? Ianto wasn't sure what he was feeling anymore, although he was pretty damn sure he missed her now.

An arm reached in front of him and picked up Owen's mug. Ianto shook himself back to reality again and glanced at Owen, who took a sip and then held up his other hand. Ianto saw a flash of green and then Owen was walking away. The Thunderbird box. That must have meant something. Although what it meant exactly was beyond Ianto at the moment.

Gritting his teeth, he decided he'd drink his own espresso and then… well he'd find something to do.

* * *

Comments are always appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	39. Chapter 35

Righty oh! Here's another chapter. I'm really thrilled that someone said they'd like to see Ianto/Michaela over Ianto/Jack. That's not saying that's what will happen, but it cheered me no end! Thanks to all who're still reading this!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 35**

_(23__rd__ September 2008)_

Owen sighed to himself as his alarm woke him up. The idea of getting up and going to work held no appeal whatsoever. The Rift was being silent, and everyone was walking on eggshells and trying to pretend they weren't. Ianto was doing all his usual jobs, but he wasn't really saying anything. Owen was struggling for a sentence to utter to his little brother, and Jack had spent most of yesterday pestering Tosh about the Rift's silence.

As soon as Owen was fully awake, he sat up and picked up the Thunderbird 2 box and clasped it in his palm. He hadn't let it out of his sight since Ianto had given it to him. At the moment it felt like it was the only thing connecting him to his brother. But Owen was well aware that there was another thread he could use, if only he could find it in himself to forgive their mother. But he just couldn't take that step yet, it really did feel like a chasm was between him and that ability. A chasm that –much like Homer Simpson on a skateboard- he couldn't jump across. Owen made a mental note to kill Ianto for sticking the Simpsons in his head when he commented that 2012 symbol.

As Owen shaved he had a weird thought. Who taught Ianto to shave? Ivor Jones? Or did he learn by trial and error. Owen himself had been a late sprouter when it came to facial hair, maybe Ianto had been too. Their dad had taught Owen. As Owen carefully shaved around his philtrum, and then his chin, he wondered when Ianto's voice had broken, and if it had been as embarrassing for him as it had been for Owen. Owen had been in the middle of chatting up a girl in his class, and she'd been about to kiss him when he'd made a joke to calm his nerves and his voice had squeaked and then cracked. The girl had burst out laughing and walked away, leaving Owen with a face so red he could have fried eggs on it.

It was weird, but now that Owen thought about it, he'd missed a lot of Ianto growing up, and for some reason that bothered him more than he'd expected. After all, weren't parents the ones who were supposed to regret missing the growing up phases.

But, Owen mused as he washed away the last of the foam and dried his face with a towel, as Ianto's big brother, wasn't he meant to teach Ianto all that stuff? Like how to chat up girls –or boys as the case may be- and how to be a man. Owen honestly wasn't sure. Maybe the father figure and big brother figure overlapped when it came to the little brother. Owen was sure of one thing though. As Ianto's big brother, he should have protected him, should have always protected him. And he'd failed in that regard.

'_And not just when he was a kid.' _

Owen sighed, wishing his conscience had not decided to go into overdrive now. But he was very aware that he would have to do something to help Ianto. Yes, Ianto had messed up, but Owen should have stepped in and done something long ago to help, rather than stand back and watch with a guilty conscience, allowing himself to feel helpless.

"So… you know what you have to do, don't you?" he said to himself, staring at his reflection in the mirror. His reflection nodded, looking tired, but determined. Owen drew in a deep breath and glanced at the calendar. The 23rd of September. Ok, Owen would give himself till the end of the month to find the right time to do this. He couldn't just do it out of the blue. It had to be done right. It was too important to make a mistake. Besides, right now, it was more important that the team get on some sort of level ground.

Grunting to himself, Owen dressed quickly and hurried to work, knowing Ianto would be there. He'd nowhere else to go. Maybe, when this was all over, Owen would start taking him out to pubs more often. It would do Ianto good to spend more time with normal people.

Tosh was there when he entered the Hub, already working on some programme or other. Owen never could keep up with her. He approached her carefully, unsure how welcome he was. He hadn't really spoken to her in days, afraid of setting her off again and making her cry. Owen may be quite useless when it came to emotions, but he hated it when Tosh cried. It wasn't something she did often, but when she did, Owen thought of a sad kitten needing a hug. But he usually couldn't find it in himself to do the hugging. Awkward words were all he could do.

"Morning Tosh."

"Owen."

Ok, not angry, but not exactly thrilled to see him either.

"Sleep well?"

"I guess."

"Ok then." Owen glanced around, "Jack not in?"

"He's not been in since last night."

"Oh… no sign of Ianto yet?"

"No not since I came in." Tosh glanced at him, "But he'll be here."

Owen loved how strong Tosh's quiet faith in people was. It wasn't overbearing like Gwen's could be. But it was always there, determined to exist and go on.

"You two had a long chat yesterday, yeah?"

"Yes."

"So… how do you think he's doing?"

"He's… confused, and lost." Tosh let her hands drop from the keyboard and with a small nudge of her foot, spun her chair around so she could face him. She pulled off her glasses and set them on her crossed knees. "I think he's afraid he's ruined everything, even though we both know it's not all his fault."

Owen nodded, he was willing to admit his own mistakes. And Jack seemed willing to admit his. Now if only one of them could actually say it. Tosh continued,

"He's also upset he's lost Michaela."

Owen snorted, "Why would that be a bad thing, she's a right pain!"

"Owen, he loves her. They were best friends, they were together for over a year before Ianto went to London. She means a lot to him and he's scared he's driven her away."

"Still not answering his calls?"

"No, and I can't find her anywhere. She's either hiding somewhere that's got no CCTV or she's very good at manipulating the system."

"You'd think if they were that close, she'd forgive him for whatever he did." said Owen, determined to dislike the Irishwoman. She just rubbed him up the wrong way.

"I think something's gone wrong in their relationship, Ianto didn't tell me exactly what happened between them, but I think that maybe this is something that's been building up for a while, before any of this happened."

"Yeah well… maybe he's better off without her."

"Whether he is or not, is not your decision. Ianto wants her in his life and you should respect that, just like you should respect his privacy and his choices."

"Ok, ok, I get the point. If he loves her I gotta love her, family rules, I know, I know."

Tosh gave a small, wry smile, "Well… I don't think you have to love her, just accept her as part of Ianto's life."

Owen sighed, knowing she was right. He nodded. Tosh nodded back, looking satisfied. Owen glanced up at her face, then said softly, "Tosh… we ok? I mean, you and me, are we…" he gestured between them, unsure what exactly he was saying. Tosh rolled her eyes and shook her head, an amused smile forming on her face,

"Owen… you're unbelievable." Perching her glasses back on her nose, she turned back to the computer resuming her work. Owen was fairly sure he was on probationary forgiveness, and grinned.

"And you, Tosh, are magnificent!"

"You have a Weevil to dissect Owen." she said, mildly scolding. Owen knew when he was pushing his luck, but he walked towards the Autopsy Bay with a smile on his face. At the moment, any kind of restoration was a good thing, even if it was tentative.

As Owen pulled on his lab coat, twisting several of the buttons on it, the alarms blared and he heard Jack shout,

"No luck! This is insane, how can she have vanished like that?"

"Like I told you Jack, she's turned off the tracker in her phone and I would say she's hiding out in a hotel or something under a false name." sighed Tosh.

"Still… we need to find her."

"Why?" asked Owen, sauntering up the stairs. "I can get why Ianto's worried, but why do you care?"

"Because, despite the review, I happen to like her. Besides she was really upset the last time I saw her-"

"Before she knocked you out with the Stun Gun." put in Owen.

"-and I'm just a little worried in her distress she might have done something stupid."

"Jack she may have been weepy enough to snog you, but I'd say she's not so far gone she'd top herself. Least not until she's finished with us."

"She's not out to get us!"

Everyone visibly jumped, turning around. Ianto was standing behind Owen, some folders in his hand, arms across his chest. He must have been down in the Archives the whole time. Currently, he was frowning at Owen, "'kaela's trying to protect us, not hurt us. Just because she called you on your shit doesn't mean she's against you."

Owen's instinct was to snap back, but he bit his tongue, acknowledging that Ianto was talking rather calmly, despite his obvious annoyance. If Ianto could try to be rational, then so could Owen.

"If she's on our side-"

"She's always on our side… she's always on Jack's side." Ianto walked away, setting the folders on Gwen's desk and climbing the ladder up to Myfanwy's nest, no doubt going to feed her. Owen watched him, a little confused. Jack looked bewildered and Tosh looked sad.

"What did he mean by that?" Owen looked at Jack, who shrugged.

"No clue."

"Tosh?"

"Not my place to say." was the automatic response as Tosh continued to work. Jack sighed, stuck his hands in his pockets and wandered past Gwen's station into his office. Owen watched Ianto disappear into Myfanwy's nest and then heard Myfanwy let out a happy squawk. The pterodactyl had definitely missed Ianto.

Owen turned to go back into the Autopsy Bay, just as the alarms announced Gwen's arrival. She gave an overly cheery greeting to Tosh, which got a much quieter reply, and then there was quiet over the Hub. But it wasn't too awkward as they worked on their own things. The occasional squelch came up from the Autopsy Bay, the computers beeped and Ianto's soft footsteps could be heard as he moved around them all, catching up on his own jobs. Jack's chair could be heard scraping over the floor as he moved about, doing his paperwork. Owen kept his attention on the Weevil brain he was dissecting.

"Owen?"

Owen jumped and looked up. Ianto was staring down at him, a guarded expression on his face.

"I ordered lunch. Meat Feast Pizza for you, come on, or it'll get cold."

"Oh… right. Let me just wash up… Weevil brain juice." He waggled his gloved fingers to emphasise his words. Ianto gave him a weird look and then walked away. Owen rolled his eyes at himself. "Idiot."

He washed his hands thoroughly and then wandered up to the couch behind Tosh's desk. Everyone was eating quietly, Jack focused on his pizza in a chair on the left side of the couch, Tosh sitting between him and Ianto on the couch, and Gwen across the table with her wedding planner in her lap and a slice dangling from her hand as she rifled through it. Owen sat with Gwen on his left, Ianto on his right and Jack across from him. He grabbed his pizza and began to devour it, realising how hungry he was.

Ianto nibbled on his, eyes glazed as he thought about… God only knows.

Owen was halfway through his pizza when he glanced up and looked at them all. He realised that despite the silence, it was bizarrely calm. There were no nervous glances, no awkward moments where they met each others eyes and had to look away. They were just… eating.

In much the same strange silence they all cleared up their stuff, and put it in a nearby bin bag. Owen saw Ianto raise his eyebrows in surprise and wondered if he should explain that they'd had to clean up after themselves while he wasn't around. But he didn't want to be the one to break the calm. So he said nothing and returned to work.

The entire day was like this, calm silence and Ianto-coffee practically on tap. Every time Owen reached for his mug it seemed to have been refilled, but he never heard Ianto come near him. It was… kind of comforting to drink Ghost-Ianto coffee.

_(25__th__ September 2008) _

The calm and quiet had continued, but now it was broken by work related comments and queries. Lunch was still a silent affair, but no one seemed too bothered by it, as if they, like Owen, were enjoying the sheer lack of shouting and screaming and emotional venting. That was all so exhausting.

However, today the silence was broken. But not by one of them.

"Rift Spike!" cried Tosh over an alarm, typing rapidly into her computer, "A big one, looks like some kind of lifeform has come through."

"Where?" asked Jack, already grabbing his coat and shucking it on. Gwen and Ianto joined him behind Tosh as Owen pulled off his lab coat and hurried to join them.

"Coldstream Terrace, right next to the River Taff."

"That's a suburban area." said Ianto at once.

"Any idea what we're dealing with?" asked Jack, looking a little anxious now.

"I'll just check CCTV… there!" Tosh pointed at the screen, at a creature that was lopping along the riverbank, looking very disorientated. To Owen it looked like a rugby player on a shit load of steroids, one that had spent all its energy on its upper body and none one it's weedy legs… of which there were three. Although one could have been a tail… Owen wasn't sure. It had a long head and its eyes were forward facing, a classic sign of a predator. Its fur was thick, and it had hands with huge claws.

"Uh oh." said Jack and Ianto as one. They glanced at each other awkwardly over Gwen's head before Jack spoke up, "That is a Latstther."

"A what?"

"It's a creature from a planet in the Andromeda galaxy. Just one of the many predators. It's kinda like the planet's answer to a lion. Nasty vicious things."

"Well that kitty-cat is prowling around a place where there are children!" said Gwen sharply.

"Trouble is, I've never actually dealt with one." said Jack, "I don't know how we contain it, or if it's got any secret weapons on it like poison."

"No poison, but a cry that can cause disorientation, like when you're too close to an explosion." said Ianto, reaching to another consol at Tosh's station and started typing, bring up a file on the creature.

"How'd you know that?" asked Jack, leaning closer to read over his shoulder.

"Torchwood Four came up against one, it killed about 17 people, including three children. They found it stomping around the Dublin Mountains in the Easter of 1916. They had to kill it and ship it to Torchwood House to be studied because the Easter Rising was happening over there and their headquarters was caught up in the middle of the fighting so they couldn't reach it themselves, never mind dragging an alien that big back."

"And how did they kill it?"

"Just a minute, I never actually asked her. Too busy admiring the stuffed alien in front of me at the time."

"Wait they stuffed it?"

"Yup! It's down in the archives, but it's near the second entrance, kinda like a guardian." Ianto gave a wry grin, "Nearly gave me a heart attack when I saw it."

"I don't blame you." said Gwen, watching the creature. Jack's phone beeped as Ianto scrolled through all the information on the alien.

"Got it!" he cheered, "You have to-"

"Shoot it in the centre of it's torso with a solution of heavily concentrated onion juice." said Jack, reading a message on his phone. Ianto looked startled,

"Yeah, that's right. How'd-"

Jack held up his phone, "Looks like someone's keeping an eye on us even if we can't find her."

"She's wired into the system, and since she's not recognised as an intruder I wouldn't have noticed her anymore than you." said Tosh, astonished. Ianto looked a little crushed.

"Why onion juice?" asked Gwen, refocusing them.

"Must be the thiosulphate. It's poisonous to cats and dogs, probably has the same affect on ugly here." said Owen.

"That's what Two's scientists thought." said Ianto, reading aloud from the computer screen, "They thought that by targeting the centre of the torso, the circulatory system spread it around at such a high speed the Latstther's system had no chance to fight back."

"Ok… Owen, can you do that?"

"I've got concentrated thiosulphate, I can put it into one of our tranq bullets."

"Good, you do that, then catch up with us, we have to try and isolate it before anyone comes near it."

"It should be relatively quiet there, all the children are in school." said Ianto, running to the armoury to grab a gun. Owen noticed Jack watched him with an expression of conflict, but he said nothing when Ianto returned. "The report says it took all of Four to take it down, and they were a seven man team."

"Ok, lets go people!"

~*~

When Owen caught up with the others, his gun ready with the thiosulphate shots, they all had industrial ear-muffs on and were trying with great difficulty to keep the Latstther in the one spot. It was snarling and roaring at them, lashing out the huge hands and nearly hitting Gwen with one. Jack lifted her out of the way at the last second. Owen had to give a start as he started at the alien. It had looked very menacing on the screen, but the screen did not show colour and Owen was a little… thrown by the Latstther's colour.

It was baby pink, and up close looked rather like an angry Furbie.

"Owen! Shoot it!" shouted Jack, Gwen still in his arms. Owen lifted the rifle, but he couldn't get a clear shot of the things chest, it was so riled up by the others. It was flailing and thrashing, trying to get by them, but each time it made for a space between them, one of them would quickly shoot it. The bullets didn't seem to be penetrating the skin at all. "Owen!"

"I can't get a clear shot! Here, Jack, catch!" Owen tossed the rifle at him, "Ianto! Help me!"

Ianto had all of a second to realise what Owen was doing before his brother leapt onto the Latstther's back and grabbed an arm. "Gah!" he yelped, holstering his gun and leaping onto the things back as well. He grabbed the other arm and, like Owen, hauled it backwards, forcing the Latstther to arch back, exposing its belly. The two of them clung on for dear life as the Latstther thrashed and roared in fury,

"Jack! Fucking shoot already!" yelled Owen, wincing as he was thrown into Ianto's side.

There was a quiet 'bang' and then the Latstther shrieked, going rigid and then staggering backwards. Owen didn't dare let go until it was dead. Then he noticed they were keeling backwards at a weird angle. He only heard Ianto swearing,

"Fucking Torchwood!" before everything went splat!

"Fuck!" he roared as he landed in the mud of the riverbank. It was cold, and slimy and the Latstther was on top of him. With a snarl he kicked at it, certain it was dead by now, and sat up spitting out a mouthful of mud. He stared up at Jack, Gwen and Tosh who were gaping at him and then glanced at Ianto. Who was covered in mud and looked furious about it. His pristine suit was ruined, his pale skin was covered in muck, it was even in his hair.

There was a long, stretched silence as they all looked at each other. Then Jack let out a snigger. Gwen covered her mouth as a grin tried to make itself known. Tosh bit her lower lip. Ianto and Owen looked at each other, matching expressions of distaste on their faces. Jack burst out laughing and was soon holding Gwen up as she started to giggle. Tosh was shaking, her face going pink.

Ianto's face twitched.

Then he and Owen burst out laughing too, as Gwen sank to her knees, almost crying with laughter, pointing at them and mouthing words. Jack stamped his feet, roaring with laughter. Owen couldn't repress his own laughter, but it cut off abruptly when Ianto threw a huge glob of mud in his face. Jack was joining Gwen on the ground, and Tosh was hugging a lamppost to stay upright. Owen wiped his face very carefully. Then grabbed more mud and threw it at Ianto. In minutes they were flinging the mud at each other, unable to speak.

Jack collapsed onto his back, his laughter dissolving into giggles. Gwen was clutching her stomach, gasping for air.

Owen caught Ianto's eye and winked at him. Ianto's eyes lit up in understanding, and as one they flung the mud at their unsuspecting team mates.

Gwen shrieked as it caught her in the hair and neck. Ianto's aim was remarkable, because he got Jack right in the mouth. Spluttering, Jack sat up, stared at Ianto, then lunged for the mud himself.

Owen had no idea how long this went on for, but he did know it felt bloody brilliant!

By the time they stopped, it was because they were too exhausted to continue.

"We look like the Swamp Thing." giggled Gwen as they perched on the path next to the bank in a line. She sighed and leaned against Jack, who put his arm around her playfully.

"I happen to have met Swamp Thing. I'm sure he'd be insulted at the comparison."

Owen snorted, nudging Ianto with his shoulder when he didn't laugh. But Ianto was smiling, resting his head on Tosh's shoulder as he watched the rest of them. Owen wisely said nothing, not willing to ruin this. The Latstther was still splayed out in the mud, half buried now after their antics.

They only moved when it began to rain, washing some of the mud off them, but not doing anything to salvage their clothes.

Jack sighed, seeming contented, "Well, c'mon, that's not gonna shove itself into the incinerator."

They shoved it into two body bags, it was too big for one alone, and tossed it into the boot. Ianto covered the seats of the SUV with bin liners to protect the leather before allowing them in. Jack tentatively clapped him on the back before getting into the drivers seat. Owen headed to his own car, and was surprised to find Ianto following him. Since Jack had spoken, not a word had been uttered between any of them, everything done with non-verbal communication. So Owen said nothing when Ianto covered his car seats with more bin liners and sat in the passenger seat.

The car ride was silent, but peaceful, Ianto smearing mud on Owen's window when he rested his head against it. Owen made a mental note to make him clean it.

They followed the SUV into the Hub's car park, and Owen parked in his usual space.

"Get that later." said Jack, gesturing to the boot with the dead Latstther inside. "Shower first."

Ianto fidgeted for a moment, then said rather abruptly, "Gimme that bloody coat! It'll need dry cleaning."

Jack raised an eyebrow at him, but then peeled the coat off and handed it to him wordlessly. Ianto folded it up and put it in a bin bag to keep it safe until he could take it to the cleaners.

Together they meandered into the Hub, sniggering when Gwen squelched some mud in her boots.

They were halfway across the Main Hub before they realised someone else was there, standing at the doorway of Jack's office. They all stopped short in surprise.

Michaela surveyed them with an inscrutable expression, then let out an audible sigh. Her voice carried well in the silence.

"We have a problem."

* * *

Review and let me know what you think!

Night's Darkness


	40. Chapter 36

I know I left you on such a mean cliffhanger, but hopefully this'll be worth the wait. I'm glad everyone enjoyed the mud fight, and I was thrilled by someone saying they ship Jack/Michaela!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 36**

_(25__th__ September 2008)_

"Where the hell have you been?" demanded Ianto, stepping forward, looking both relieved and upset. Michaela drew herself up, but she didn't answer him. Instead, she said,

"Jack, we need to talk."

Owen suddenly felt cold.

Jack stepped forward, looking wary. "I take it the review is complete."

Michaela nodded.

"May I assume it's not good?"

Again Michaela nodded, dropping her chin to her chest. Jack sighed, "How bad?"

"Bad." Her voice had a little tremble in it. "Put simply? The minute UNIT gets that review, you're fucked."

The whole team reeled from her words. Then Ianto stepped forward again.

"You said you'd get us off!"

"I said I'd try!" retorted Michaela, straightening up. "But it's hard to defend date-rape, hoarding Cybermen, bringing dangerous aliens into a secret base, mutiny, selfishly opening the Rift and running off with a word, no matter how you try to spin it, especially on paper." A quiet anger crept over her face as she stared at Ianto, arms folded across her chest. "I told you there wouldn't be much I could do."

"Did you even try?" snapped Ianto. At once Owen knew he'd said the absolutely wrong thing. Michaela stiffened and her eyes flashed. With forced calm, she said,

"Jack, maybe you should clean up, and then we can discuss the options you've got."

"You've not sent the review off yet, have you?" Jack's voice was soft.

"… No."

"Regulations state that as soon as the review is completed it is to be sent to the heads of UNIT at once."

Michaela drew herself up again, "It's not finished until I sign off on it. And I haven't gotten around to doing that just yet."

There was quiet. Then Jack said, gratitude in his voice, "I'll be back soon, just need to clean up."

Michaela nodded, "I'll wait in your office."

"Good."

Almost in unison, Jack and Michaela spun on their heels, putting their backs to each other. Michaela went into Jack's office and sat in the chair in front of his desk. Jack headed for the showers. Owen glanced at the Gwen and Tosh and saw that Tosh had gone white. Gwen put her arm around Tosh's back and led her towards the showers too. Ianto hadn't moved, he was staring into Jack's office. Heaving a sigh, Owen clapped his hand on Ianto's shoulder and steered him away to the showers. They undressed in silence, and went under the jets of warm water.

As Owen scrubbed at his hair to get all the mud out, he started to feel anger build up in his stomach. Not at Ianto, or Jack, or himself. No, he was angry with her! She'd failed them. Owen was sure that they'd done more good than bad, and now they were a damn good team, finally fitting together. If she was on their side, she'd a funny way of showing it!

Now fuming, Owen stomped out of the shower, heading back into the changing room. And stopped short, staring. Ianto glanced up and blushed.

"I've no clean clothes left here. Jack gave me his from his locker." he said as he did up one of Jack's blue shirts. It looked baggy on him, because he wasn't as broad shouldered as Jack. He was wearing Jack's trousers, Jack's boots and probably Jack's socks and underwear. At least he'd forgone the braces. That would have been too much.

"Where is Jack then? Walking about naked again?"

"He went up to his bunk to get more clothes for himself."

"For once I'm not worried about Jack exposing himself to someone." drawled Owen, moving to his own locker. Ianto fiddled with the collar of the shirt and didn't reply. He left the dressing room a moment later.

Owen dressed as fast as he could, not wanting to miss anything as he realised Jack was probably already 'discussing their options' whatever that meant. He was able to catch up with Ianto halfway up, and a minute later, Gwen and Tosh, towels draped over their shoulders to absorb the water from their hair, hurried up to them. Gwen was biting her lower lip and Tosh was still white. Ianto was frowning, hands in fists at his sides. Owen was scowling, hands in his pockets as they went straight for Jack's office.

Jack was already dressed and sitting behind his desk, elbows resting on it, left hand hold right fist, pressed against his lips. On the desk was a thick folder, open on a page covered in print, which Jack was reading, a frown of concentration on his face. He barely glanced up as the others arrived, filing into the room and standing in a group next to the desk. Michaela was sitting well back in the chair, hands folded in her lap, legs crossed at the knee. Owen noticed Ianto staring at Michaela, who was watching Jack. Owen thought she looked more like a teenager than an adult in her jeans, Bugs-Bunny t-shirt and runners. She also looked exhausted, like she hadn't been sleeping at all, although she'd tried to hide it with make up and a blank expression. Owen glanced at Ianto again and his tiredness matched hers.

Jack finally looked up, dropping his hands on top of the review.

"You're recommending we're not imprisoned or removed from Torchwood, despite all the problems you've listed?"

"That's right."

Owen was impressed by the calm tones of them both. Michaela sighed, "The trouble is I've been defending Three since I was hired in '04. It just sounds like I'm repeating myself. UNIT's probably not gonna take much notice."

"You've been defending us?" Jack looked confused. Ianto stiffened next to Owen.

"Yes. It's one of the reasons the review is only happening now. Every time UNIT called for an investigation, I'd refuse. But Archie ordered it this time. I couldn't refuse."

"How often has UNIT asked?"

"This year?"

Jack's eyebrows shot up. Michaela leaned forward,

"Every time Torchwood Three failed in some way, for example, not stopping the bombing of Cardiff during the Sleepers' attack, UNIT would demand you be questioned. Most of the time I was able to keep them at bay by explaining that there was nothing could have done, but that doesn't always work. An example would be the Cyberman in the basement. You should have known it was there. It should never have been brought to Cardiff… you get the idea."

"How come I didn't know about this?" demanded Jack.

Michaela sighed, dropping her gaze. Her hands twitched, "That's down to me. I made it a secret because I felt you had enough to deal with without knowing UNIT was waiting for an excuse to pounce. At first Archie agreed with me-"

"But not anymore?"

"Well, Archie feels-"

"Archie's tired of Michaela defending you," said Ianto, "He thinks you'd be better off doing it yourself, so you could learn."

"You knew about this?" Jack looked at Ianto, eyes blazing. Ianto nodded, not quailed,

"Yes, I knew. It's why I worked so hard at our cover ups. To try and help."

"Oh yeah, great help! Now I've been blindsided by them."

"UNIT could just as easy call you Jack. They don't. They chose to call Michaela, because she doesn't piss them off like you do by dismissing them and flirting with them." Ianto said, folding his arms.

"This is beside the point!" interrupted Michaela. She hadn't looked at Ianto once as he'd spoken. "What matters right now is stopping UNIT from swooping in and locking you up. They out number us by hundreds. Torchwood only has 7 active members now. In any case, fighting and violence is exactly what we want to avoid."

"Just get rid of the Review!" snapped Owen.

"We can't! Destroying it would be an open invitation to UNIT to move in. It'll prove to them that Two and Three are no better than One, and that's their main concern. After Canary Ward, UNIT is paranoid about Two and Three going the same way. They even have a group on the constant hunt for Four."

"You could have lied on the review if you really cared." growled Gwen. Michaela's hands clenched into fists, but she kept her eyes on Jack, who stared back just as intently.

"It's because I care that I didn't lie. UNIT has access to all the mission reports of Torchwood, as we have to theirs. If I lied, you'd be even more trouble because of it."

"What are the actual charges against us?" asked Tosh sounding weak.

"Well, Dr. Harper is charged with date-rape and using alien items for personal use, as well as opening the Rift twice and leading the mutiny. Ianto is charged with concealing a Cyberman in the basement of the Hub, putting the whole world in jeopardy, and taking part in the mutiny. Ms. Cooper is charged with leading the mutiny alongside Dr. Harper, opening the Rift for complete selfish reasons, which could have put the world in jeopardy, and disregarding orders multiple times, showing a complete disdain for the command structure of this organisation and its rules. Ms. Sato is charged with bringing a dangerous alien into the Hub, and assisting with the mutiny."

"And Jack?" asked Gwen, her voice trembling with fury.

"Captain Harkness is being held accountable for all your actions as he is your leader. He failed to realise the Cyberman was there, he failed to teach Ms. Cooper any sort of discipline or correct her when she acts out, he failed to stop and then punish Dr. Harper for the use of the alien items. And he was unable to stop the mutiny. Along with his accountability for all your failings, he ran off without a warning, and regardless where he went, or when or with whom, he abandoned his post and left this team to flounder like a bunch of helpless fish out of water, with no command structure and no real concept of how to handle many of the things they encountered."

They were quiet as they absorbed all the charges, it seemed like a lot. But Owen did not feel like he had to apologise for any of it, there were good reasons for most of those accusations.

"So what do you propose we do?" asked Jack, sounding too calm again. Michaela relaxed her hands.

"A trial, one where you can defend yourselves, or rather, a defence can for you." She swallowed, a frown forming on her face. Then she burst out, "This review is horrid. I only did it because I was ordered to. All it does is condemn, never praise. On paper you all look bad. But if you take the trial, you can show how good a team you are."

"Who would defend us?"

"Well… it has to be a Torchwood member, but not part of the team."

"So… it'll be you."

"Or Archie. But I don't think he's up for it. His health's not been the best for a while now."

"So we're screwed." growled Owen.

"Do you think I wouldn't do my best?" snapped Michaela, twisting to glare at him.

"Your best won't be good enough!" retorted Owen.

"Good enough to keep you from being arrested for date-rape with alien pheremones the first time around!" Michaela was on her feet, red faced, "I'm the only reason you're still here. If Ianto hadn't called me and asked me to save you UNIT would have made it so you'd never see the light of day!"

Owen felt like he'd been slapped in the face. Michaela turned back to face Jack, approaching the desk and rested her hands on it, leaning forward so she could look into Jack's eyes.

"A trial is the best way to defend yourselves. You can save yourselves and prove to UNIT you can play by the system, and are worthy of the guardianship of the Rift." That last part seemed to be addressed to Jack alone.

Jack stared at Michaela, his face inscrutable. Michaela stared back, unflinching. Owen couldn't see her face, but he could feel the intensity building between them. A lot of things seemed to be said without words. Ianto was narrowing his eyes at them. Finally, Jack nodded,

"Set it up."

Michaela nodded, straightening up.

"I'll send off the review tonight and call them in the morning." She pulled the review to her and turned it right way up for herself. Jack handed her a pen, still watching her intently. Swallowing hard, Michaela signed the bottom of the page, then bent over and took out a stamp from her bag on the floor. She stamped the page, then closed the folder and stamped it twice and signed that. Then she folded a pre-glued flap around the three edges, sealing it. She then stamped the flap.

Heaving a sigh, Michaela put the folder in her bag, as Jack sat back in his chair, pensive.

"I guess that's everything." she said, shouldering her bag. Ianto straightened up again, eyes wide. "I'll call you as soon as I know something from UNIT. Could be a few days before they agree, but they are obligated to oblige you." Jack nodded, eyes still watching her intently.

"Understood."

"Right then. Uh…" Michaela finally looked at Ianto, and just as quickly looked away, "Right."

Ducking her head, she pushed past Gwen, hurrying to the car park.

"'kaela! Wait!" Ianto chased after her, nearly knocking Owen over in his haste. Owen watched him go, certain that whatever he said, things would not go well.

~*~

"'kaela! Wait up, please!" Ianto chased after her. But Michaela didn't stop walking. She was in the corridor leading to the car park before Ianto caught up and grabbed her elbow, "Hey!"

"Don't touch me!" she snapped, twisting out of his grip. Ianto flinched like she'd burned him. Michaela stared at him, then groaned, rubbing her face with her free hand. "God, I did not want to do this."

"Do what?"

"Well, I guess it's only fair to do it. Be crueller not to say it." she mumbled to herself.

"Do what? Michaela what are you talking about?" Ianto felt scared. He didn't want to consider what she could mean.

"End this. You and me. We're done."

It was like she'd dropped an ice cold boulder into his stomach. Ianto stared at her, feeling sick with horror.

"We- We're what?"

"Done. Finished. Over. Use whatever word you will, it's what we are."

"You… but you're my friend, my best friend."

Michaela snorted, "Yeah right! I'm your fucking soundboard, not your friend. If you were my friend you'd bloody well act like it!"

"L-Look, I know I was an arse, a complete arse for what I said, for how I reacted when I saw… -but when I saw you and Jack I just couldn't-"

"The way you reacted to that is just the tip of the iceberg Ianto! It's the final straw that woke me up to reality. You don't give a shit about me, not enough anyway to be worth it. All you ever cared about was having someone to call when you were depressed, or angry or had a problem, like I was some kind of agony aunt for you. Think back Ianto, when was the last time you called me to ask me how I was?"

Thinking back, Ianto remembered calling her about Lisa, after she'd been killed a final time. He'd called her after his first night with Jack, and again when Jack had vanished. He'd called her when Beth had stirred up memories of Lisa, and again after the frustration he'd felt when Jack and Gwen had fought about Rhys. He'd called her about helping Owen, about Gwen ret-conning Rhys, about Tosh and Mary. But he couldn't remember asking her how she was.

His face must have said it all, because Michaela nodded, "Since you went to London we've been a one-way street and it's always been about your life, never mine. And I'm, I'm not blaming you, it's not all on you, it's as much me, and my own stupidity for letting this go on as long as it has. But Ianto you don't care about me anymore, aside from when you need me to be there for you."

"That's not true 'kaela, please. I love you, and I know lately I've been self-absorbed but-"

"Blaine was released from prison!"

As tears formed in Michaela's eyes, Ianto's hands, which had been reaching for her, went slack at his side.

"What?"

With a vicious scrub of her face with her hand, Michaela said, "He was released four months ago, because of good behaviour. The police say he's reformed, but-"

"Why didn't I hear… why didn't you tell me?"

A harsh, sobbing laugh escaped her lips, "I tried! Jesus I tried! I called you up about twenty times and every time you said you'd get back to me and you never did. The last time I tried to tell you, you said you'd call me back after making Jack his coffee. Jack getting his coffee is more important to you than I am."

"But, the police, they should have…" Ianto froze, shock on his face. And then he closed his eyes in realisation. The police had tried to contact him, but he'd been too busy to get back to them. If it wasn't related to his job, he hadn't wanted to know. "Oh Christ…" He opened his eyes to meet hers. "'kaela… oh God I'm sorry."

Her small hand touched his cheek, a sad smile on her lips, "I believe you." Ianto pressed his hand over hers, silently begging her to forgive him. "But it's not enough." Her hand pulled away.

Panic welled up in Ianto's chest. He was loosing her before his eyes! He couldn't let that happen.

"I'm sorry! Please don't go, not yet. I want to fix this, please 'kaela! Let me fix this." He grabbed her arm and pulled her back, making her collide into his chest. "Please!"

"Let go of me Ianto." she said, her voice tremulous.

"Not until you let me fix this."

"You can't! Christ, this isn't about you Ianto. It's about me pulling myself out of a rut. I can't be your soundboard, or your friend any more. It's just too damaging, for both of us. I let myself become all about you, and you're incapable of letting me out of the box you put me in, and that isn't who you are! You dependence on me to always be there for you, to be a kind of back up lover, or friend, or whatever you see me as, it… God Ianto it makes you mean!"

"Mean?" Ianto was a little thrown by the word. Michaela looked ready to cry.

"Yes, mean! I don't care if it's a childish word, it's what you've become. You keep me in this box, cut off from everything else in your life, and I've been dumb enough to let it happen. I never pushed you to let me go because I was scared. But enough is enough! If you can't be my friend, who cares as much about me and my life as I do about yours, then I can't be your friend. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"But I'm sorry! I'll say it as many times as you want me to, I'm sorry!"

"It doesn't matter, it's not enough. Not any more. Now, please Ianto, let me go. You're hurting my arm."

Ianto glanced down and realised he'd been gripping her arm hard enough to bruise. He let go at once, backing up in horror.

"I didn't… I didn't mean to-"

"I know, I know you didn't." Michaela touched his chest, rubbing over his heart, looking for all the world like she wanted to sooth away the pain growing there. "But you did, and I did, and I'd rather end this now, because… because if I don't now I won't be able to, and I think I have to for both of us. I'm sorry Ianto."

Ianto's throat closed up, he grabbed her hand and clutched at it, shaking his head. With his other hand he caught her head and kissed her, trying to convince her to stay. Michaela whimpered and then pulled away,

"No, Ianto. You cannot use sex to fix this."

"I wasn't trying to-"

"You were, you keep using sex for all the wrong reasons. Now, I need to go. I have to get the trial organised then I have to prepare for it."

"We can't end like this. I love you."

"And I love you. But that wasn't enough before, and it's not enough now."

Before Ianto could say anything more, she was pulling out of his hands and running up the corridor. Ianto watched her go, feeling stricken. His legs buckled and he sank to the floor, his back against the wall. He heard her car start up and then drive away, and he covered his eyes in despair as it faded away. He'd no idea how long he stayed there, but he only looked up when he heard approaching footsteps.

Glancing up, Ianto met Owen's eyes, feeling like a part of his body had been ripped away and the anaesthetic hadn't quite faded away. It was a numb sort of loss. Owen leaned his shoulder against the wall, arching an eyebrow at him, much in the way Ianto himself did. Ianto's arms curled around his knees, staring up at Owen, like he held answers.

"She left." he said, sounding lost to his own ears.

"I heard." sighed Owen, sliding down the wall to sit next to him. He clasped his hands in front of his bent knees, mirroring Ianto's stance. They sat in silence for a while. Then Owen said softly,

"We've really done a number this time."

Ianto let out a noise that sounded like a cross between a snort and a sob. Owen, leaning his head against the wall, rolled it to the right to look at him.

"Hey?"

Ianto looked at him. Owen seemed to hesitate before he finally spoke, "You asked her to keep UNIT from coming after me?"

Ianto nodded, "Took nearly an hour to convince her, she… she took a personal issue with that."

"Oh. Well… thanks."

Ianto looked away, but as he glance down, a tiny, sad smile formed on his lips. "You're welcome. I may have disliked you, but I didn't want to see you rot in a cell forever."

"Bet the view would have been shit if you hadn't." mused Owen thoughtfully.

Ianto chuckled, nodding his head again. Owen sighed, and patted his knee. "Ready to face the music?"

"Uh… no." deadpanned Ianto, shaking his head.

"Ok then. We'll sit here for a bit, but Ianto? As soon as much arse goes numb, you're helping me up."

"Ok."

"Ok."

* * *

Yup, more angst, however, despite the serious mess they're in, it is an upward journey from here… with maybe one or two dips.

… I feel I need to request no Michaela bashing again, lol. Opinions are grand, just no bashing if possible.

Night's Darkness


	41. Chapter 37

Right, I figured that after all I've put you through, I should give you a chapter entirely devoted to Ianto and Owen. I hope the end is ok, I wrote it quite late, but I didn't want to wait any longer because college is beginning to really take over and it might have taken another week.

Thanks to all my reviewers.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 37 **

_(25__th__ September 2008)_

It was an hour before Owen and Ianto got to their feet and made their way to the Main Hub. They found it deserted.

"Jack?" called Owen, half hoping the Captain was around and half hoping he'd wandered to some roof. There was no response. "Looks like we're the last of the lot."

"We still need to get that Latstther on ice so you can autopsy it." said Ianto quietly.

"Oh do we have to?" groaned Owen. Ianto nodded, looking subdued. Owen sighed,

"Oh all right! But once it's in the freezer I'm gone."

Ianto nodded again.

It took both of them to lift it onto the trolley, and again to put in the fridge so Owen could dissect it tomorrow. Once Ianto closed the large door, they stood in silence for a few minutes. Owen sighed, folding his arms, turning to his brother, who looked lost.

"Wanna go get drunk?"

Ianto looked up, a pair of masterful puppy-eyes and a perfect pout on his face and nodded. Owen chuckled at the face and slapped him on the shoulder as he led the way to his car. They drove to Owen's favourite bar for sulking in. It was a small, dirty hovel, with very few patrons in it at the moment. It was still relatively early.

"Whiskey?" asked Owen, as they sat at the bar. Ianto winced. "Oh right, not the best way to drown your sorrows considering where it's bound to have come from."

Ianto nodded, propping his head up in his hand on the bar. He looked so despondent that Owen couldn't find it in himself to be grumpy. "So what would you like? C'mon, I'm buying, take advantage for God's sake."

Ianto shrugged, "Absinthe."

Owen stared at him for a moment, then said to the waiting barman, "A scotch on the rocks for me, and some absinthe for Mr. Pickled Liver here."

The barman nodded, looking as grumpy as a clean pig, and walked away to get the drinks. Owen watched him go and then looked at Ianto again, "Absinthe? Really?"

"Feel like getting drunk." muttered Ianto, staring at the bar. "Used to drink it when I was really down. Bad thing to drink too much off when you're taking tainted E by the way."

"How is it I ever thought you were the stable one of us?" asked Owen, shaking his head.

"That was your own mistake."

The barman dumped the drinks in front of them. Owen picked his up and waited for Ianto to take his, then raised his glass,

"To spectacular fuck ups that ruin everyone's lives."

Ianto snorted, but clinked glasses with him and then downed the shot, grimacing at the taste. Owen swallowed half his scotch and then said slowly,

"Can you… can you even remember how all this started? How all this started coming out, how we ended up in so much shit?"

Ianto played with his empty shot glass, furrowing his brow as he thought. Then, in a dull, deadpan voice, he said, "You nearly hit me with a basketball."

Owen sat back, frowning, "Oh yeah…"

"And Tosh teased us about fighting like cats and dogs."

"Yeah… and the Gwen told us to sort out our stupid issues-"

"Typical Gwen, always assuming she gets it when she doesn't."

"Careful, that green fairy's making you go green eyed."

"What?" Ianto frowned at Owen, who pointed at the glass in his hands. "Oh… wait, that's the green-eyed monster, not the fairy!"

"Well, you're a fairy, so…" Owen shrugged, "Seemed more appropriate."

"Fuck off." sighed Ianto, "Anyway, I'm not a fairy and I'm not jealous of Gwen! But I… I don't like what she and you did. And Jack didn't seem to be bothered by it."

"Look, you know what Jack's like, free love and all-"

"But it wasn't love, was it? You didn't really give a shit about her, it was just fun and easy, wasn't it."

Owen didn't reply, partly because he wasn't sure he could refute Ianto's words, and partly because it seemed to be something Ianto had been thinking for a long time. "And you didn't care about Rhys and how it would affect him if he found out… and Gwen pretended she did, but when it came down to it she told him and retconned him so she could ease her conscience-"

"Wait –what?" demanded Owen, beyond shocked.

"Oh yeah! She retconned her oh so precious boyfriend who she was willing to fuck over the whole world for!"

Owen had a sudden brainwave about why Ianto seemed so angry about this, but he didn't say it. Instead he said,

"Please tell me Jack knew."

Ianto shook his head, gesturing for more drink, "Nope! I never told him."

"Why the fuck not?"

"I would have if it had been just after I lost Lisa," an ugly expression appeared on Ianto's face. "But it had been long enough that I didn't feel like destroying Jack's precious little fantasy like he'd destroyed mine."

Owen doubted Ianto would ever be able to truly get over what had happened that night when Lisa had been discovered, not because of the Cyberman posing as Lisa dieing, but because of Jack's behaviour. Jack had been beyond furious, and had not done the right thing. But Owen could admit he'd been no better. He of all people should have understood.

"Look, I wanted to say, that I'm sorry about how I was after the Cyberman. I should have… I should have been a friend if not a brother. I knew what you were going through, but I didn't do anything to help. I should have. I'm sorry."

"'S ok." muttered Ianto, "I wasn't too surprised by it. We were treating each other like strangers so-"

"No, even if I'd only acted like a co-worker I should have still been more… sympathetic."

"D'you think that because of… what you lost-"

"Katie, you can call her by her name." It was surprisingly easy to say that. Ianto nodded, accepting the gesture.

"Do you think because of loosing Katie, you were more willing to go along with Gwen like you did?"

"How'd you mean?"

"She was happy, if bored, in her relationship, had everything you lost, and didn't seem to appreciate it. That drove me mad. Do you think you did it because of that? At least in part. Because there was a chance she could loose it if Rhys found out, and you felt, if she was willing to risk it for a thrill, she didn't deserve it?"

"Never really did want to analyse it, but… now you say it… I guess it's possible." Owen had a feeling Ianto wanted him to say yes because, in a weird way, it would mean they would see eye to eye for once. It also confirmed for him what he'd realised. Ianto resented how Gwen had Rhys and that stable relationship and had risked it all for something meaningless, and she still had it, while Ianto had risked the world and still lost his love. "Why are we talking about Gwen?"

"Beats talking about what we've done." sighed Ianto, turning the glass upside down and tapping it on the wood.

"You're a morose drunk, aren't you?"

Ianto smiled into his glass, "Michaela said that when we spent Christmas together. Only she took the vodka bottle out of my hand and threw it against the wall."

"You two were close, yeah?"

"Inseparable once. Dunno where all that went."

"You sure?"

"Well… I guess, thinking back I didn't treat her right after I moved to London." Ianto looked up, a look of realisation on his face, "Do you think it's genetic?"

"Huh?"

"I'm just… do you think we've got this… genetic thing that makes us awful at emotional relationships, and really bad about treating women right. I mean… look at me and 'kaela. Look at you and Tosh. Look at Dad and Mam."

"Dad was great to Mum!" snapped Owen, reflexively. He wouldn't dare touch the Tosh comment.

"He was kind, but he was pretty old fashioned Owen."

"'s that where you get off wearing all your flashy suits then?"

"Don't pick a fight." sighed Ianto, sounding bone-weary.

"I wasn –ok, sorry. But Dad was a great man!"

"I know he was, I'm not saying he wasn't. But… Mam and Dad just… I dunno. They never saw the other's perspective. Mam wanted a career. Dad didn't want her to have one. It was like his pride was wounded if she had to earn money."

"He took care of his family."

Ianto nodded, his brow crinkling and Owen could see he was fighting a sudden, overwhelming urge to cry. "I miss him!"

Owen didn't even think. He just reached out and put an arm around his brother's shoulders, hugging him as Ianto took in deep gasps of breath. Owen rubbed his arm soothingly, blinking hard to force back some tears of his own.

"We could go to his grave, would that-"

"I've been."

"You have?"

"Went once a month when I lived in London, wanted to try and make up for missing the funeral, for not –for not being there before he died. Ivor thought I'd tell you what he was doing to me. So he wouldn't let me go."

"Didn't Mum say something?"

"Ivor convinced her it was best to keep me away. She never knew what Ivor was really like. He was really kind to her, always encouraging her in work, and pretending to be nice to me when she was around. It was when she was away, like on weekends and weekdays for work that he'd show his true colours, but by the time he really started, I was too old for her to see the bruises –like I was changing and washing myself on my own, privately and so she never knew. Plus she was happy. I liked seeing her happy."

Owen resolutely kept his trap shut. But he was enraged that their mother had been so blind.

"She missed you."

"Huh?"

"She missed you Owen. But she didn't know what to do to make you stop hating her, you never talked to her on the phone, and she didn't want to talk to Dad because they'd always argue, and then Ivor started talking about having a kid-"

"What?!"

"She miscarried three times. I remember her crying to Ivor that it was like God was punishing her for not making more of an effort with you."

This threw Owen. He could remember how pretty their mother had looked after she'd had Ianto, all pink and glowing, in leaping-sheep covered pyjamas. Then he recalled a women he'd help treat who'd miscarried and he could see their mother curled up on the bed, devastated by her loss, maybe weeping. He could imagine that she'd clung to Ianto even more desperately after that.

"Ianto… how did Mum die?" It was something Owen had never cared to know. Ianto sniffed, wiping at his nose with his hand,

"She tripped, fell down the stairs, you saw them, they're fucking long and steep. Or they were, place is gone now. She broke her neck."

"When you say tripped…?"

"I mean she tripped over her own two feet. Ivor was with me in the kitchen, making a breakfast to help her cheer up after her last miscarriage."

Owen did some mental calculation. Elen Jones had died when Ianto was thirteen and Owen was almost twenty. If she'd not miscarried, then that baby would be…. Christ, fifteen now! This disturbed Owen for reasons he could not explain.

"How could she… how old was Mum when she died?"

"Uh… Forty two, just a month short of forty three, why?"

"But that means… she had me when she was twenty one, twenty two."

"Yeah." Ianto straightened up, wiping at his face, looking bewildered by Owen's sudden interest in ages.

"But dad was fifty three when he died! Which means he was…"

"Twelve years older than her, yes."

"Bloody fuck!"

"They went out from when Mam was eighteen, didn't you know that?"

"No! Dad didn't talk about Mum unless it was to complain about her."

"Mam talked to me about it. How Dad was really reluctant to go out with her because of her age, but Mam convinced him to go out on one date and see how he felt. They got married three years later, then they had you."

"And then mum miscarried, I remember now!"

"Yeah, twice she said. I think the first one was really soon after she had you, so you wouldn't remember it." sighed Ianto, gesturing for a refill and sipping at his absinthe, rather than downing it.

"And then she had you. Her Welsh boy." Owen was surprised at how jealous he sounded.

"What? What do you mean?"

"That was what they used to joke about. How I was Dad's little English man and you were Mum's little Welsh boy."

"Why am I a boy and you're a man?"

"'cause that's what you are." said Owen automatically. Ianto snorted. "Anyway, you were her special little boy."

"And you weren't?" asked Ianto incredulously.

"She took you with her."

"Because you wanted to stay with Dad!"

Owen frowned, he did not really remember that time of his life well, aside from the anger and the hurt. Ianto rolled his eyes, "Owen, you told her to go away if she was going to go and leave you and dad alone. Don't you remember?"

"No I –oh…" Owen's eyes widened as he felt a flash of familiarity.

"Besides, she wanted you to be just as Welsh as me, for God's sake, who do you think named you?"

"Owen's English ain't it."

"Oh!" Ianto buried his face in his hands, giggling tipsily, "You twat! It's Welsh! It's a Celtic name, the Gaelic version is said the same and spelt E-O-I-N! But your way of spelling it is Welsh! For God's sake, there's Welsh myths about an Owen –well, Owain. Mam gave you the name because she liked the character Owain from the Welsh and Arthurian legends, and because Dad called her le Faye, after Morgan le Faye, Owain's mother, because he thought she was like a fairy!"

Owen's brain felt overwhelmed. "Oh… how the fuck do you know all this?"

"Mam liked to tell me the stories about her and Dad, she wanted me to understand why she'd married him in the first place. She used to say just because she had bad feelings towards him, didn't mean I should have. Plus, I remember everything, so I would preserve her memory when she was gone, and Dad's. She always regretted not letting me go after he died."

"She did?"

"Of course! She only listened to Ivor because she'd just miscarried and didn't want me out of her sight."

Owen thought of his dad, wasting away in a hospital bed, and then of his mother, grieving for her loss, and somewhere deep inside, something seemed to give a little.

"So… why did she call you Ianto?"

"Because Dad wanted to name me after our Granddad, John. But Mam was insistent on a Welsh name, because we were supposed to grow up in England, and the Welsh equivalent is Ifan-"

"And Ianto's a baby version of Ifan and since you were her baby boy..." Owen trailed off, surprised to see Ianto blushing. "Oh come off it! The fact that our mother considered you her baby makes you blush, but me making jokes about you and Jack doesn't get anything?"

"Apparently." muttered Ianto, nose almost in his shot glass he'd lowered his head so much. His speech was beginning to slur as the alcohol started to take effect. Owen was surprised it had taken this long. "Can't believe 'kaela dumped me." he muttered, his lower lip pouting.

"Did you deserve it?" asked Owen pointedly.

"Oh, unequ- unec… unequivocally." sighed Ianto lifting his head just enough to rest his chin in his hand. "I'm starting to see that I treated her like shit, and after all she did… nope, I'm an arse. I'd go as far to say I'm a bigger arse than you."

"Oh, wow. That's a big arse." Owen gestured for more scotch. He wasn't drunk enough to deal with drunk Ianto. Ianto nodded earnestly.

"It is. It's a very big arse!"

"So… why did you treat her bad?"

"Dunno… guess… guess I was afraid she'd… I dunno, reveal me or something to everyone."

"What? She knew about Ivor?"

"She knew everything. I told her everything. Was weird… hadn't told a soul, and then she was there and I told her… after I used her shower."

Owen frowned, bewildered. Ianto caught his expression, and said slowly,

"I was livin' rough… growing a beard, stank like all hell… nowhere to go. I… helped her out and she offered her bathroom in return."

"Ah."

"She lives in the house now. Like, _the_ House. Torchwood's House. All alone except for her dog… big, massive dog… but she used to live in this little, tiny, itty-bitty flat, not worth a pound. And… and I went there and she let me look not like a geologist anymore."

Owen raised an eyebrow. Ianto was beginning to cease making sense. Ianto rested his head on his arms, folded on the bar. He stared up at Owen, then when Owen just nursed his scotch, Ianto blurted, "She was my first girl!"

Owen glanced at him, "Yeah?"

"Mmhm! It was awful!"

Owen choked on his drink, a laugh caught in his throat. Ianto sniggered at him.

"What, you were awful or she was?"

"It all was. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing! And she was so damn terrified."

"Terrified? Why?"

Ianto opened his mouth, then snapped it shut, sitting up sharply. He looked furious with himself. Owen felt uneasy as the scotch's warmth started to really spread through him.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with why she really doesn't like me and keeps bringing up the pheromones?"

Ianto looked away, confirming Owen's suspicions. Now he felt a little bad for what he said at the end of his interview.

"Why did you do that anyway?" asked Ianto, sobering up a little. "Surely you must have seen at least one victim of date-rape when you worked in the hospital."

Owen squirmed in his seat. He really wished people would stop calling it rape –he hadn't intended it to be… even though he'd been well aware of what the pheromones did.

"Look, I know it was a stupid thing to do-"

"Stupid implies only you get hurt. You weren't the one who'd wake up the next morning and remember being out of control like that."

"Ok! What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know!" snapped Ianto, glaring at him, slightly glassy-eyed.

"Then why the fuck did you ask me?"

"Because I had to convince 'kaela you were a good guy who deserved to be let off for it and I'd like to know I was right. It took me three hours to convince her!"

"Well I can't justify it! I don't know why I did it, it was just easier than having to seduce someone into bed."

"If that's your attitude these days maybe it's best you stay away from Tosh."

"Don't you think that's why I never took her hints?" demanded Owen, thoroughly annoyed at himself and Ianto.

"Well you clearly enjoy the ego stroking they give you because you've never done much to stop them besides being yourself, in other words a complete tosser!"

"Do you really think you're the best person to be giving out relationship advice right now?"

"Maybe not, but I don't want to see Tosh get hurt."

"I'm not trying to hurt her!"

"But are you doing all you could to prevent it."

"Look, just shut up and drink more of that absinthe! I do not want to hear your opinion of my relationships."

Ianto stuck out his lower lip again, looking down into his glass while mumbling, "Oooh, look at that he actually calls them relationships."

Owen closed his eyes in frustration, dearly wanting to hit him. "You're such a pain!" he groused.

"I learned from the best!" crowed Ianto, swallowing another mouthful and smirking around his grimace. Owen finished his scotch and signalled for another.

They were quiet for a long time, Ianto resting his chin on his folded arms. He yawned,

"Have you been sleeping?" asked Owen, almost reflexively

"Yeah, but not in a good way." sighed Ianto, rubbing his eyes, "Keep waking up feeling like I only just closed my eyes and yet it's morning."

"Well… if you need something that'll help… prescription wise."

"Alcohol will do." drawled Ianto, quirking an eyebrow. Owen snorted, but didn't comment. He had no right to.

They didn't really talk for another few hours. Ianto had another shot and remained silent, much to Owen's relief, because God only knew what Ianto would start blabbing about if he was drunk.

Then Ianto sat up, blinking hard. "'s probably time to go… Jack'll probably want to talk to me tomorrow… I'd best need to sleep… comin'?"

"Yeah… I guess… c'mon."

Together they got to their feet and Owen staggered into his brother as they made their way out of the pub. They'd no sooner gotten outside when the heavens opened. They both stood very still before staring up at the sky, then at each other.

"The universe hates us right now, doesn't it?" said Ianto, sounding resigned. Owen twisted the corner of his lip into his cheek as he glanced up again.

"Yup."

* * *

I think I'll have a mostly Jack/Ianto chapter next, because I know that's been missed. I also think since it's three in the morning and my spelling is beginning to fail me, I should head to bed…

Oh! I'm also gonna be doing a Coda about that whole Ianto covering for Gwen retconning Rhys. I keep bringing it up, I figured I may as well write it in full. And yes, I know the New Years Eve Coda is still to be done.

Estarcollector, you've created a monster here!

Night's Darkness


	42. Chapter 38

This took longer than I expected it too… also it's rather surreal during the beginning, so uh, just be prepared. Also I cannot explain how Bart wriggled into this chapter so much.

* * *

**Chapter 38**

Ianto sat on his covered loo, watching blankly as the bath slowly filled up with warm water. His hands were clasped in front of his mouth as he stared at the other occupant of the room sitting on the edge of the bath.

"You sure you want to do this?"

Long feminine fingers twisted the taps, halting the flow of water, before return to clutch at a pink, fluffy dressing gown, sealing it tight around the body inside.

"I'm sure. I need to do this." said Michaela, not looking at him. Ianto glanced around his bathroom, then back at Michaela.

"Ok." he nodded. Michaela swallowed and stood up, turning around so her back was to him. She caught up her auburn hair, putting it in a scrappy bun, resting against her white neck. Ianto touched his lips with his hands, watching as she drew in a deep breath and slipped the dressing gown from her shoulders. They gleamed white in the soft light. It was another deep breath before she let the dressing gown fall to the ground. Ianto looked away, out of respect and nerves. He heard her step into the bath and sit down in it, displacing the water.

He waited for quiet to descend again before turning his head to look at her. She looked small and fragile in the tub, arms covering her breasts, and her legs bent, trying to hide her sex. Ianto stared at her face, wishing he could put her at ease.

"You could have started with a swimsuit on."

Michaela shook her head, swaying it hard. It made Ianto feel a little seasick. "No. Blaine never let me wear clothes in the bath, I was always naked and he was always watching and I'm trying to move past what he did… I'm ok."

"You sure?"

"Mmmhm!" she looked to the right, at the tiles on the wall, rather than at him.

Ianto kept his eyes on her face. But his eyes started to wander, and he studied her skin, curious. He'd never been this close to a real naked woman before. Lisa's skin was a chocolate brown, and she had lovely pouty red lips, and big brown eyes. Ianto watched as the water was cupped in her hands and poured over the skin, following droplets making a path over it. There was a strange crunching noise coming from the hall, but Ianto couldn't see where it was coming from.

"I got a tattoo." said Michaela, finally looking at him. Her eyes were darker now, almost brown and seductive. Her voice sounded more English. One hand lifted and she gently caressed the swell of her left breast right over her heart. Her other hand reached out to him. Her skin was mottled, a patchwork of vanilla white and chocolate brown, extending all over her body. Her wet hair could have been red or brown, Ianto wasn't sure as he took her hand. Her face seemed to change, it was sharper, higher cheekbones, and she smiled, her lips full and red, lusty.

She guided his hand to her breast, large patches of brown and white under his fingertips, and made his fingers stroke her skin where a black mark was resting. Ianto shuffled forwards and bent his head, kissing the skin where brown and white met and fused, before running his nose over the black mark and pulling away to see what it was. His eyes widened in horror as he read the word printed into the skin above her heart.

JACK

He sat back on his heels staring at the name. She rose to her feet, and the lights dimmed until Ianto could barely see, but she was still visible, because of the shine of the thin lines of chrome travelling over the brown patches of her skin and the red glow of the scars on the white skin.

Regal and confident, She lifted her hand and accepted an offered one, belonging to someone Ianto couldn't see, stepping out of the bath. Drops of water landed on Ianto's knees, leaving dots of darkness on his jeans.

There was a bed. Ianto was watching, standing in the doorway. Michaela… or was she Lisa now, Ianto wasn't sure… She was kneeling up on the bed, straddling another person. All Ianto could see was her bare back… he liked bare backs, on both the women in his life… the glint of the chrome, the dull black of the scars, the way the muscles and bones made Her skin ripple as She rolled Her shoulders, shaking from side to side, canting her hips. A caramel hand slid around Her waist and up over Her spine, pulling at Her neck amid giggles of two feminine voices that were so interwoven Ianto couldn't begin to unravel them. She lowered her torso down and moaned into a loud kiss.

Ianto watched, his stomach twisting, but unable to move or speak as the couple on the bed rolled over, without breaking their loud, hungry kiss. Ianto could hear their tongues rubbing against each other, loud as sandpaper. As She disappeared amid the rich red sheets, and He loomed up, caramel skin, well defined muscles, perfect brown hair… God Ianto knew that body so well. The shoulder crested and fell as He covered Her body with His completely. As He came to a careful landing, jerking His hips and making Her cry out, a beam of light from the curtains cut across His back. Ianto let out a cry as he saw the brand across His shoulder blades, but he still couldn't back away.

The words glowed hot and red on His skin, as if they'd only just been pressed there.

TORCHWOOD

Wearing Jack's face, He lifted himself up on his hand and She arched Her back, that double-voice carrying into Ianto's chest, wrenching at his heart, as He entered Her with a violent snap of his hips.

Ianto found himself pressed into a corner, invisible restraints holding him against the wall, his voice gone. From where he was he could see every movement and action of the two on the bed. How He bit Her two-toned skin and drew a river of blood from the white patches and a flow of silver liquid from the brown ones. How Her face was a mismatch of Lisa and Michaela, pulled into a grotesque parody as she leaned her head back, moaning and bleeding onto the bed, Ianto's bed, where he'd only loved Jack.

Ianto banged his head against the wall, trying to pull free, just as the door burst open. The two on the bed did not stop, if anything they picked up the pace and the violence as Señor Fluffles, now the size of the SUV, with a straw hat and a waistcoat and smoking a carrot entered the room. As he surveyed the goings on, the rabbit raised an eyebrow and tutted his pink tongue against his teeth.

"Help me!" cried Ianto, struggling against the air. Señor gaze at him, and then blew an orange smoke ring at him. Ianto gagged and choked, collapsing to his knees. She moaned loudly again and Ianto looked up. He wasn't wearing Jack's face anymore. No, now His eyes were small and brown and He was fat. But He didn't stop His relentless pounding of Her body. Looking up, He caught Ianto's eyes and grinned manically as He fisted His fingers into a pillow and lifted it up, before bringing it down and pressing it over Her face.

"No!" cried Ianto, unable to get up. Señor shook his head, his ears flapping so hard it sent shockwaves through the room, shattering all the glass. Shards of glittering pieces rained down as the curtains and the sheets, still covered in blood sprang alight with blue flames.

Pressing against the wall, Ianto covered his face, trying to block out the sound of Her suffocating, the way Her body jerked and twitched. There was nothing he could do. He was powerless.

A squeak by his feet made him look down. Bart, as small as a hamster was dragging something on a chain towards him. As he reached Ianto's feet he looked up and said, in Nancy Cartwright's voice,

"Hey man, it's not too late, check the time!"

Blinded by the smoke filling the room, Ianto grappled for the chain and pulled into his grip –it was Archie's pocket watch! The watch that never worked. Desperate, Ianto pressed the top. It flew open and a burst of golden energy shoved Ianto against the wall, threw the two on the bed into the opposite wall, and sent Bart tumbling head over heels like a furry black ball right out the door with a faint 'Cowabunga!'. Ianto, trembling, looked up and saw Señor blow an orange smoke triangle, before reaching out with a paw and pinning down Him. He flailed and swore in a gravelly, unintelligible voice, while She started shrieking and screaming, tearing her hair out fistfuls and shredding her skin with her nails. Ianto uncurled his fingers and looked at the watch. In a cheerful, air-hostess voice, it said

'It's 7 O'Clock!'

A bomb alarm wailed through Ianto's head-

-and he woke with a start as his alarm incessantly blared at him. As the beeping gathered speed and became a continuous whine, Ianto groaned and swiped at the dresser. He knocked the alarm to the ground, but the whine continued, and he had to scramble to the edge of his bed and slam his fist onto it. It let out a whimper and then died. Great. Now he'd have to buy a new one. Grumbling to himself, he rolled onto his back, letting his head dip back over the edge, then groaned as he felt blood rush to his brain. Not what it needed considering he was reeling from that dream… or nightmare really.

He needed to get up.

He didn't move.

He really should get up.

Was there a point?

He needed to pee.

Was he really that desperate?

Yes he was, he was starting to squirm as his bladder pressed down.

He should get up.

Unless of course, he wanted to pee on the bed.

Ianto got up. And nearly tripped over Señor Fluffles who was sprawled out on the floor, and now gave a thump of alarm on the floor.

"Sorry boy." muttered Ianto, eyeing the rabbit warily, almost waiting for him to grow to a huge size and resume smoking his carrot. When Señor did nothing but wiggle his nose and give his tail a little shake, Ianto backed into the bathroom, shutting the door slowly.

He went to the toilet and then turned to the sink to wash his hands. And stopped.

Bart was sitting in the sink, right on top of the plug hole and was washing his face delicately. Ianto watched as the tiny black rabbit licked the base of his front paws and then dragged them over his nose, above his eyes and then down under his jaw in quick, neat little movements. Ianto glanced around the bathroom, wondering how in the hell Bart had managed to get into the sink. There was no way he could have just jumped… was there.

Deciding to forgo washing just his hands in favour of having a full shower, Ianto turned it on and left the door slightly ajar so Bart could get out when the steam got to him. As he turned back, he saw the bath and recalled both the dream, and the memories behind the beginning. Michaela had tried to get past her fear of baths by making Ianto recreate the scenario. Blaine had sat on the toilet and made her sit in freezing water completely naked, just to make her feel exposed and vulnerable. It had worked beautifully, Michaela was terrified of an inch of water in a paddling pool now. That may also have had something to do with the fact that after a while Blaine would tire of just staring at her, and hold her under the water until she was almost unconscious. No matter that Ianto had reminded her that an inch was too shallow to be held under, Michaela could only handle showers, and quick ones at that.

Shaking his head, Ianto took off his pants and climbed into the shower. It was warm and stimulating as he dragged his fingers through his hair. He grabbed his shower gel and lathered a palmful up, before rubbing it over his skin.

_Splash! _

"Bart!" Ianto yelped. Bart had just leapt into the shower and was now staring up at Ianto wide eyed and ridged, as if trying to intimidate Ianto. His ears were flat on his head and he looked smaller than ever with his fluffy fur all wet. There was the scratch of claws on acrylic and Señor Fluffles' head loomed up from the side and he peered down into the tub at Bart, who was quivering with what could have been indignation. Ianto didn't know why he was so indignant, he'd jumped into the tub himself.

Bart stretched his neck, jutting his head forwards a little, then took off, running between Ianto's feet to the end of the tub. Ianto twisted to watch him as he skittered at the slope and turned around and zoomed back in the other direction, splashing water against Ianto's ankles.

"Bart, what are you doing?" demanded Ianto crouching down trying to catch Bart. But the rabbit was a tricky prey at the best of times and right now he was slippy and suddy, and actually squirted out of Ianto's hands like a bullet every time Ianto managed to catch him. there were several thumps and Ianto glanced at Señor, who appeared to be using the rim of the bath to bounce on his back feet, jumping up and down in obvious amusement. "Oh it's alright for you. You just get to laugh! I clean your hutch, remember that!"

The threat did not seem to make much of an impression on Señor, or Bart, who skidded to the left and ended splayed out over Ianto's ankle. With a sound of triumph, Ianto picked him up and… realised he needed to finish his own shower before he could sort Bart out. So, with a sigh of defeat, he put Bart back down and hurried to finish his shower, while Señor jumped for joy at Bart's racing up and down the tub. Ianto paused in his shampooing to consider that his rabbits were maybe less normal than he'd thought.

~*~

Jack had not slept the previous night, and had spent most of it standing on a roof, watching the city go on, reminding himself just why Torchwood was so damn worth it. He'd first escorted a shaking Tosh home, and then, afraid Ianto or Owen would still be in the Hub, had opted to avoid them and go to a roof, getting soaked in the process thanks to the downpour. It had been past dawn when he'd made his way back to the Hub for a warming shower and a change of clothes.

He felt like he'd failed the team in someway because of this review.

"You're late." said Owen. Jack looked up from his paperwork –where did it keep coming from? Ianto had just arrived, in his usual suit, and a thick coat against what had become a really miserable September. Jack also noticed Ianto had his backpack with him. He only brought that when he had a lot of things, like a laptop and, usually, treats for the team.

Ianto set the bag down on top of the couch and unbuttoned his coat,

"I got delayed because I was blowdrying my rabbit."

Owen blinked at Ianto very slowly. Jack felt his lips twitch. He could guess which rabbit.

"Your… rabbit. Is that a euphemism I'm not familiar with?"

"Don't be thick, I mean Bart, my other rabbit. He jumped into the shower with me and got completely soaked. Then had the gall to glare at me while I was drying him. I didn't make him jump in. I still can't figure out how he got into the sink to jump into the bath."

Owen stared at Ianto, who shrugged as he took off his coat. "My pets are odd."

"Clearly. Must be great to have ones that compliment you so well."

Jack tensed, unsure how Ianto would take the barb. Tosh's typing had ground to a halt. She'd been in for hours already and she hadn't stopped once, so Jack knew she was listening, waiting.

"If I was looking for a pet for you I'd get you a grumpy cat." said Ianto, smirking. Owen snorted, but there was a little smile on his face.

"And I'd sic it on your rabbits."

"And my rabbits would sit on your cat and crush it."

"And I'd leave you to clean up the mess."

"But it's your cat!" protested Ianto, sounding outraged. Owen shrugged,

"It'll be your floor."

"Bastard!"

"Tea-Boy."

The two men parted ways, Ianto moving to the coffee machine, Owen to the Autopsy Bay. Jack stared at the both of them, astonished. Then he shook his head, decided not to dwell on it, and went back to work. He didn't look up again until a cup of coffee appeared under his nose. Jack glanced up, seeing a hand moving away from the cup, following it up to an arm, then a shoulder, then jumping to Ianto's face. It was… unreadable, but seemed soft. Jack was reminded of how clay softens when it's been kneaded and squashed and flattened. He'd no idea why.

The two men stared at each other for a moment, then Ianto gave a little gesture at the cup.

"Coffee."

"Yeah… thanks."

Ianto nodded, walking away out of the office. He'd save Jack's till last, Jack noticed, and he wasn't hurrying anywhere. Could that mean something? Or was Jack just over analysing?

And was Ianto's bag twitching?

Slightly alarmed by the fact that something seemed to be moving around inside Ianto's backpack, Jack grabbed his Webley and got to his feet. No one noticed him move, and when Ianto moved to grab his bag, Jack barked, "Don't!" making them all jump. Ianto froze, halfway through bending forward to pick the bag up, now staring at Jack in obvious alarm.

"There's something moving in your bag Ianto."

Ianto frowned and looked at the bag. Again there was movement inside it, and the sound of scratching on plastic. Tosh and Gwen were staring at the bag with bewildered expressions. Owen started to move forward, narrow eyed with caution. Then there was more scratching. Ianto's frown deepened and then his expression cleared and he rolled his eyes, before groaning,

"Baaarrrt!"

Jack frowned, half lowering his gun as Ianto unzipped the bag, stuck his hand into the bag and after a few moments of rooting around, withdrew his hand. And held by the scruff of his neck was a slightly dishevelled and utterly unapologetic Bart. He squirmed in Ianto's grip and appeared to be giving his owner the Evil Eye, while Ianto lifted him high into the air so they were almost nose to nose and frowned at him in a scolding manner. It struck Jack that Ianto would probably make a rather brilliant father… if he could get himself together that is.

"Oh My God!!" squealed Gwen. Owen, Jack and Ianto all winced at the high pitched sound as Gwen jumped to her feet and cupped her hands together and rushed at Ianto, scooping Bart up and bringing him close to her chest. "Oh aren't you just the cutest little thing! Oh you're just adorable."

Ianto had a pained expression on his face from how high Gwen's voice had gotten right next to his ear. Jack lowered his gun fully, realising he'd overreacted, and winced as Gwen squealed in delight and said,

"Oh! Oh he licked me!"

Jack gave the bunny credit, he knew how to win over a lady. Bart was licking Gwen's fingers and snuggling against the exposed skin of her chest, his little rump resting just on the swell of Gwen's breasts. Gwen was beaming and now urging Tosh over to join her.

Tosh, despite still being quite pale, came over and held out her hand. Bart stretched his neck out and rubbed his nose into her palm, while his tiny tail flickered over Gwen's skin, so as not to let her feel jealous. Tosh let out a wide, if still tear stained smile and rubbed Bart under his chin.

"Oh Ianto he is just adorable. What's his name?" asked Gwen beaming like a Cheshire Cat. Ianto looked a bit startled, but said,

"He's called Bart… I dunno how he got in my bag, I put him in his hutch and then… oh." Ianto rolled his eyes. "I put him in first because I'd had to dry him off. Then I went to get Señor, and Bart must have climbed up the wire-mesh and into my bag… that's actually rather impressive of him."

"He's always climbing out of that cage." said Jack.

"Yeah, but he knew that I was taking the bag… or I'm assuming he knew… I should probably take him home." Ianto reached out to take him away from Gwen, an action that would pretty much bring him into contact with her chest Jack noted, but Gwen turned away, saying

"Oh No! After everything that's happened this little guy is just what we need to help us cheer up."

"Gwen…" Ianto groaned, looking uncomfortable. "I can't keep Bart here for the day. If he gets into something…"

"And do you think I'm gonna let him out of my sight? No I am not! No I am not!" Gwen was rubbing her nose against Bart's and let out a giggle when he licked her nose. Jack wasn't entirely sure there wasn't some element of forced cheer in that wide smile. Still if it did help the mood, it made no sense to send Bart home.

"He can stay for today. That's it. Ianto's behind enough in his work, no point in sending him home to come back again." Feeling hopeful, Jack sidled up to Gwen and reached out a hand to Bart. Who promptly bit his index finger. "Ow! Son of a-"

"Bart!" snapped Ianto reaching out and pointing straight at the rabbit's face –Gwen had to duck back to avoid a smack- "No! No Bart!"

"If he didn't stop the last fifty times you've told him that I doubt he will now!" snarled Jack, sticking his finger in his mouth. Owen let out a snort.

"Is Jack afwaid of the wabbit?"

Jack narrowed his eyes at Owen, still sucking on his finger. Gwen giggled, then laughed as Owen started chanting, "Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!" Tosh looked bemused by his antics. Jack glanced at Ianto who looked a little concerned by their levity.

"We should get to work, get back to some semblance of normality." said Jack, glancing at his finger, which had stopped bleeding and was healing over. "Owen, you have an Autopsy to do, Gwen, how's about you see what the police have been doing lately and if anything unusual comes up, Tosh, see if you can figure out why the Rift's been so quiet lately and Ianto… how about you make a start on some of the older Archive rooms. They've been needing a sorting through."

Ianto nodded and made to take Bart from Gwen. Gwen was having none of it, and shooed him away. Looking disconcerted Ianto watched her move back to her desk and sit down, setting Bart in her lap. He threw Jack a nervous look. Jack gave a reassuring smile,

"I'll make sure she doesn't cuddle him to death. Or loose him."

"Thanks." Ianto gave him a small smile. Then he scooped up some files, and hurried down into the Archives. Jack watched him scurry away and felt his shoulders relax. He glanced at Bart, who had slumped to his side, exposing his belly to Gwen's excited fingers as she scratched it. Jack sidled up next to Gwen and stared down at Bart. Bart stared back. Jack had a feeling that if he could, Bart would be raising an eyebrow at Jack in a challenge.

"Mark my words bunny," said Jack pointing down at him, "Come home time you're gonna be eating out of my hand or so help me God!"

Gwen stared at him wide-eyed. Jack winked at her and walked into his office, sitting down in his chair and resuming his work, a small smile on his face.

~*~

Jack walked quietly and slowly through the narrow space between all the shelves. He didn't like the Archives too much but he needed to find Ianto and talk to him. There was a lot that needed to be said. And Jack had a burning question on his lips that had to be asked.

He found Ianto with his nose buried in a file, eyes squinting at what was no doubt horrible handwriting.

"You should have told me." said Jack without preamble. Ianto glanced up, blinking at him.

"You'll need to be WAY more specific than that." he said in a calm tone.

"About Michaela, about how she was covering for me. I should have known."

Ianto visibly flinched at her name. "She made me promise." His voice was quiet.

"That wouldn't have stopped you if you hadn't other reasons. If you're willing to break a promise to her that devastated her, breaking a promise to keep a secret from me should have been easy. But no. You kept it from me. And I want to know why." said Jack keeping his voice firm.

"I don't know, ok? There was always a different reason, it never stayed the same… I was barely aware of the why, I just knew I couldn't tell you."

"What, you were hoping it would hit me in the face someday, like it has now? Or was it because you didn't want to reveal you knew her, so you could keep her as your little secret?"

"No! Yes! Look, for a while I thought you didn't deserve her protection! But I still didn't tell you because I knew you'd tell her to stop."

"Why did you think that?"

They were standing several feet apart, both speaking calmly, but with intent eyes trying to pierce each other. Finally Ianto said,

"You never gave a shit about the survivors of Canary Warf. You needed someone to blame because you lost someone there and so twenty-seven innocent survivors got the brunt of your malice. Now I know you've got a cruel side Jack, but I also know you only use it usually when it's needed. There was no need for it on them. They were low-ranking people, who were lucky enough to survive and unlucky enough to have you as their nearest leader and guide. But you didn't care. With an act that was worth of Hartman you came in and scavenged the tech and ignored the people. That was left to Michaela and Archie. They took care of them, despite you being the better choice because you have a better idea what they were going through. The things Archie called you when he called me to make sure I was ok…" Ianto shook his head, while Jack felt rooted to the spot. Ianto looked at him again. "If I hadn't needed the Hub, I'd have punched you, not flirted with you."

Jack swallowed, and clenched his fist, then relaxed it. "That may have worked for a while, but it doesn't explain now. Why did it take this long for me to know?"

"You held a gun to my face and said I'd better not have any more lies. I was pretty damn sure I wasn't telling then, and so, even when I stopped hating you, I knew I couldn't tell you. It might've set you off."

"So instead you let me get caught in a storm with no real idea what was going on?"

Ianto closed his eyes, sighing, "How many times do I have to say that I did not know about the Review until she arrived?"

"Well… fine."

Jack watched as Ianto closed the file and slid it into its proper place in the drawer, then closed it. He folded his arms and turned fully to face Jack.

"Are we doing this now then? Having this whole big talk?"

"May as well."

Ianto quirked his eyebrow and then waited, staring at Jack. Jack shifted on his feet and then folded his arms as well, saying

"You should have told me Owen was your brother."

"Owen and I had come to an agreement that we were not brothers, thus it did not seem important to say. And then it became a secret I could never say. Besides, what would you have done, what would Gwen have done? And for that matter, what business was it of yours?"

"You could have-"

"Why? Because you were my boss? My shag? My lover? Considering you don't say a damn thing about yourself besides the stupid sex stories –and God help you if you acted like that about Michaela!- why should I be anymore forthcoming?"

"We should be able to trust each other."

"Telling you Owen's my brother has nothing to do with trust."

"Of course it does!"

"Not in this job, this life." said Ianto heavily. Jack felt his shoulders sag, he could not deny he had a point. "About what I did." said Ianto abruptly, now looking down at the ground. "To you, that night… when I… you know."

"Yeah." said Jack shortly. He did not want to dwell on that night, on the mistakes he'd made and the ones Ianto had made.

"I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have used you like that."

"Well…," Jack shrugged, trying to look unbothered, "In fairness I did sorta say you could-"

"Don't." growled Ianto through clenched teeth. "I don't want to remember the humiliation of what you said so don't fucking remind me."

"Right… ok. Sorry." Jack felt his arms tighten around himself a bit more. "I'm… I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have locked you up like I did. I wanted you safe, but I went the wrong way about it."

"Yes you did."

Jack raised an eyebrow. Ianto shrugged,

"We're being honest aren't we?"

Jack gave a rueful nod. Ianto shifted, then glanced up at Jack, looking a bit like a pouting boy,

"Have you talked to her?"

"Not yet, but I'd say she's barely gotten back to Glasgow yet."

"She's not answering my calls."

"Give her time." said Jack, "I'm sure she-"

"She ended it. Us, her and me… she said it was over."

"Oh…" Jack wasn't sure what to say. Ianto sounded quietly heartbroken.

"I've made such a mess." he murmured, then snorted, "At least Owen and me are getting along better than ever." He looked up at Jack, looking lost, "I didn't mean to let this happen. None of it. I didn't."

Jack stared at him, and then let out a long, heavy sigh, dropping his arms. "I know you didn't."

Ianto's face crumpled and he glanced down, biting his lip. Jack approached very slowly, unsure what would happen if he got too close. But at last, he managed to put his arms around Ianto and hold him tight. Ianto gripped his shirt in one hand and shuddered hard.

"I'm sorry for beating you up too."

"It's ok. I forgive you… if you'll forgive me for my actions."

Ianto didn't respond for a while, just buried his face into Jack's neck. Then, finally, he nodded. Jack felt a relieved smile pull his lips upwards and he pressed it to the side of Ianto's neck. Neither cried, neither spoke, they just stood there, holding each other.

Then Tosh's voice came over the comm.

"_Ianto, Jack, can you get up here, we have a small problem."_

Jack touched his comm. while Ianto stepped back, looking like he'd been caught doing something he wasn't comfortable with. "What's wrong Tosh?"

Tosh sighed, _"Gwen's lost Bart."_

* * *

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm beginning to wonder if Bart and Señor are aliens of some kind… I'm honestly not sure myself.

Night's Darkness


	43. Chapter 39

Ok, apologies for the delay, but I've been so freakishly busy it's not even funny. Plus, this chapter was HORRIBLE to write, it just wouldn't flow, so apologies again if it sucks. I'm hoping that this chapter was just a road-block and that it'll be easier now.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 39**

_(2__6__th__ September 2008)_

"Gwen, you said you wouldn't loose him!"

"I said I was sorry, alright! He got off my lap and before I could grab him, he vanished."

"Into a place which has Weevils and a Pterodactyl in it! Not to mention all the small places full of electrical wires!" Ianto looked panicked at the idea of his pet getting electrocuted. Jack placed a soothing hand on Ianto's back. If he hadn't been so worried, Ianto probably wouldn't have relaxed into it.

"Ok, Tosh, see if you can find his biosign, Owen check the CCTV for where he went when he got away from Gwen. Ianto, where do you think Bart might go?"

"Uh… maybe the kitchenette." Ianto moved towards it as he spoke. Jack followed him, and together they scoured the small area, checking on low shelves and under an upside down bowl on the floor that Ianto could not explain.

"Jack, I can't find him, he's too small." said Tosh.

"The CCTV seems to show him heading towards the Weevil cages." said Owen, sliding his chair across the floor with a loud rattle.

Ianto straightened up, wide-eyed. "Fuck!"

"Calm down, there's no way he could get anywhere near them. There's too many doors." said Jack, hurrying past him towards the door. Ianto followed him, almost banging into him as Jack stopped by the shut door and began to look around. "Check under the stairs, he might be there."

Ianto did as he said. Jack glanced up and found himself staring straight at Ianto's backside. He stared for a few moments and then looked away. As he peered around the corridor, eyes narrowed he spoke up in a soft voice.

"Hey… Can I ask you something?"

"Uh… now?"

"Yeah. It's, it's kinda important."

Ianto huffed as he straightened up, brushing his knees free of dust. "Sure then."

"Ok… uh… look, I need to know something. You and me… what we were doing… were you just doing that for some twisted, manipulative reason?"

"What?" Ianto turned to face Jack, who turned as well, squaring up to him. He'd bitten the bullet and he wasn't going to let Ianto squirm away from answering him.

"Were you just using me for some reason, was everything that's ever happened between us a lie?"

Ianto stared at Jack, his blue eyes almost blazing with obvious insult. But rather than snarling at Jack, Ianto said quietly, "No. I wasn't."

"That's it? That's all you have to say?"

"Yep." Ianto looked to his left and resumed his search. Jack watched him for a moment and then lunged at him, grabbing his wrist and forcing Ianto to face him again.

"That's not good enough!" he snapped, fighting to keep himself under control. "I can't believe you if you just say no."

"Well, what do you want me to say?" demanded Ianto. "Why would I have accepted that date you offered if I was using you? For God's sake, I'm not that masochistic! Besides, if I was using you then I'd never have-" Ianto snapped his mouth shut and flushed pink.

"Never have what? C'mon Ianto tell me!" Jack gave him a little shake. Ianto growled and grabbed the front of Jack's shirt with his hand. He pushed hard and drove Jack against the wall, pinning him there. He glanced behind him, but the rest of the team wasn't visible. Ianto's Adam's apple bobbed visibly as he swallowed. Then he leaned in close to Jack, so close that could feel the heat of his breath and smell the coffee he'd drunk. In a low hiss, Ianto said,

"If I was using you, just looking for a rough fuck you'd have known pretty bloody quick because I don't –I don't react! Physically. And you damn well know I react to you. God knows you've made enough dumb jokes about guns in my pocket!"

"Oh… oh!" Jack's brain seemed to click with understand and he stared at Ianto wide-eyed. Ianto on the other hand was looking at the ground, his cheeks pink with humiliation. "So… so you never… with any of the men you've…"

"You're the only one." sighed Ianto, lifting his head, meeting Jack's eyes again. His were blazing blue and he was daring Jack to laugh. But Jack had never found anything less funny in his life. It had upset him when he'd thought Ianto had been enjoying the encounters with those bastards. Now he was just horrified.

"Don't get all sad now Jack. You got your answer. I wanted every time with you because I lo… because I… I…"

He couldn't do it. Jack could see the battle going on in his eyes. He was trying to say it, but something was strangling him. So Jack reached up and grabbed Ianto's head, pulling him close and pressing his lips to his. Ianto stiffened in Jack's grip, his hands fisting between their chests. Jack held tight, but Ianto did not push away. Rather he pushed closer, kissing Jack back, deepening the kiss. Jack let his hands slide down so he was encircling Ianto's waist. Ianto groaned, flattening his hands against his chest.

"Ianto! We found him!" shouted Owen from above. The two men broke apart, shaken out of their passion. Ianto looked up where the voice had come from, then back at Jack. He looked terrified.

"Uh… I'm coming." he shouted, pulling out of Jack's now slack grip and hurrying up to find Owen. Jack watched him leave, feeling bewildered and unsure. Reaching up he touched his lips with his fingers, his brow furrowed.

"_Jack!"_ Ianto's voice in his ear made him jump.

"Yeah?"

"_Can you get some of the special chocolate and bring it up to Myfanwy's nest. We may need it."_

Jack, his finger still resting on his lower lip, blinked hard.

"How'd he get up there?"

"_I wish I knew!"_

"Uh… right. Be up in a second." Jack switched off his comm. He gave himself a little shake and pushed away from the wall. He jogged up to the kitchen and found the 80% chocolate which Ianto kept for the pterodactyl. He took the bar and climbed up the steps to the ledge where Myfanwy's lair was set up. Right next to it stood Owen and Ianto, bother peering into the lair. Jack came up behind them and leaned around them. it was pretty dark inside the lair, but Jack could see the huge looming form of Myfanwy. She was cooing or purring or something like that and she seemed to be nuzzling something. Jack's eyes moved over her crest, down her face and all the way to the tip of her beak. There, resting his paws on her leathery skin and sniffing away at her, was Bart. Jack wasn't sure if he was impressed or horrified by the rabbit's bravery.

"Does Myfanwy think he's a chick?" asked Jack. He was reward with two almost identical expression of condescension.

"Well… she's not a bird… so I'd say no." sneered Owen. Ianto threw his brother an amused look, rolling his eyes.

"I think she's confused. He's the kind of prey she would be familiar with, but he's got no barbeque sauce on him." hewatched him leave, feeling bewildered and unsure. reaching nto coffee he' said quietly. Jack instinctively glanced behind him to ensure the sauce was nowhere near the rabbit. "Jack, give me the chocolate, I'm going to see if I can get her attention. Owen, you follow and grab Bart. Jack, cover the entrance."

The two men nodded and Jack handed over the bar. Ianto stepped into the nest, unwrapping the chocolate loudly. Myfanwy glanced up and Bart tumbled from the jerk of her beak. He landed next to Ianto's foot, but Ianto was too focused on the large carnivore to pick him up. Owen crouched on his knees and started to crawl towards Bart who'd scrambled to his paws. Bart turned away from Myfanwy and kicked out at her with his hind legs. Owen was pretty sure that was the bunny version of flipping someone off. The idea made him grin.

Ianto tossed the chocolate to Myfanwy and she had to swing around to catch it in its wide arch. However as she did, her wing caught Ianto in the chest and he was pushed into the wall with a dull thud.

"Ow! Fuck!" Ianto gasped as he cracked his head on the wall. Owen rose to his feet at once, and Jack moved forward to see if he was alright. "Owen!" Ianto pointed at Bart who was making a break for it.

"I got him!" Jack dived for the rabbit and got a hand around him –"Ow!" Jack retracted his hand. Bart had bitten him hard, and now blood was trickling down Jack's hand. Bart hurried away with a hop of triumph. Scrambling after the little rabbit, Jack tried to catch him. But before he could get him –

"Myfanwy, no!" shouted Owen. Myfanwy screeched and Jack heard the crack of her wings as she took off. She soared over Jack, knocking him to the ground. Jack could only watch in horror as her claw loomed over and then closed around Bart's tiny form. With another screech she snapped her wings downwards and shot up into the air.

"Myfanwy bring him back now!" cried Ianto, chasing after her, but unable to follow. Jack got to his feet, shaking his hand to stop the stinging of the bite. "Damnit! I'm not loosing him too!" snarled Ianto, climbing up to the next level. Jack hurried to follow.

"Ianto, panicking is not going to help!" he snapped.

"Neither is comments like that."

"Would you two just fucking cut it out? It's a fucking bunny rabbit!" roared Owen, still standing in Myfanwy's nest. "Ianto, get your arse back down here. Saving him is not going to bring Michaela back!"

Ianto froze. Jack bumped into him and his arms went around him automatically. Ianto didn't react, he was too busy glaring at Owen. Owen, however, was not cowed.

"I know you're missing her, and I am sorry that she's ended your relationship, but clinging on to a rabbit is not gonna bring her back to you, nor is it gonna fix anything around here. So for the love of God get down from there and let's think of a better way to save Bart."

Jack had to admit he made a good argument. He gently squeezed Ianto before dropping his arms and climbing back down to Owen. They both watched Ianto grind his teeth, a stubborn expression on his face. Jack could imagine how hurt his pride was right now, but he wasn't sure if he should spare him or let it happen. But Jack realised almost at once he'd just be punishing and hurting him for all the things that had been going on. So he went back to the ladder and climbed it to Ianto's side. Ianto gave a start as Jack touched his shoulder. He looked at him, eyes wide, almost mad with distress. Jack sighed, and slowly wrapped his arms around Ianto, taking care not to pin his arms. Ianto jerked, as if he were about to break free, but as Jack pressed his hands flat against Ianto's back he stilled. His Adam's apple bobbed violently as he stared at Jack. Jack slowly pulled Ianto against him, his hands resting on Ianto's shoulder blades. finally, he brushed his cheek against Ianto's and murmured,

"It's ok Ianto. It'll be ok."

"How can you say that?" said Ianto, voice shaky, "I've ruined everything."

"No you haven't. Things are bad, but it's not all your fault. And we're not beaten, we're not broken. We can fix this. But you have to let us in, you have to trust us and trust that we care… that we love you."

Ianto shuddered, but stayed silent. Then he was still for a long moment. Then, his hands slowly fisted into Jack's shirt. His breathing grew heavier in Jack's ear.

"Jack…"

It was broken sound, so quiet Jack would have missed it if he'd not been so close.

"I'm sorry about Michaela. And I'm sorry about Ivor Jones." said Jack in a quiet voice. Ianto gave a sob laden sigh and rested his head on Jack's shoulder, sagging in what was probably exhaustion. The two men, one so achingly old, the other unbearably young, both hurting and lonely, stood in silent need, holding on for dear life.

It seemed an age before they were jolted back to the here and now.

"Oi! You two, get down here so we can save Bugs Bunny or whatever the hell my little brother's decided to call him."

They looked down into the Hub. Owen and the women were squirting Myfanwy's sauce over a small pile of meat and fish. They could hear Myfanwy's curious squawks from above as she scented the sauce. Ianto cleared his throat and gently pulled free, before climbing down quickly to join them. Jack followed.

"Here Jack." Owen held out the tranq gun from yesterday. "You're the best shot here. Just try not to drop me in any more mud, yeah?"

"Spoilsport." huffed Jack, unable to repress a grin at the recent memory. Ianto was staring at the shadows Myfanwy's warbles of interest were coming from.

"C'mon, take the bait." he mumbled. Gwen squeezed his shoulder in reassurance, then the five of them circled the pile of raw food, ready to call to the pterosaur to distract her from Jack. They waited, tense and silent. No one wanted to consider the consequences of Myfanwy killing Bart.

Finally, with a crack of wings, Myfanwy soared into view. She made straight for the meat and lowered her back claws to land. But she did it very oddly. She'd no sooner landed than she was hopping on one claw and seemed to determined to stay off the other. As she wobbled, they saw why she wouldn't set down her foot. In her curled finger-like digits was Bart.

Myfanwy, meanwhile, was nudging at the meat, appearing dubious. But she was only able to stay steady by spreading her wings, leaving her torso exposed. Jack waited until she bit into the meat before he lifted the gun and fired. The dart hit Myfanwy in the chest and she screeched, taking off.

"Bart!" Ianto darted forward, but Myfanwy lolled to the side in the air and drifted towards the water tower like she was drunk. Then with a yawning cry, she began to sink down and all her limbs went limp, her claws opening. Bart dropped about seven feet into the shallow pool of water with a quiet splash. Ianto was in the water after before Myfanwy touched it. He plunged his hands into the water and yanked out Bart just in time. There was ringing silence.

Ianto turned and sloshed back to the team, who'd gathered at the edge of the pool. Clutched against his chest, quivering, soaked and very much alive, was Bart. Gwen sagged in relief. Ianto looked up at the team, relief obvious on his face.

"Anyone got a blow-dryer?"

~*~

An hour later, Gwen and Ianto had managed to dry Bart off by Ianto keeping him still on his lap while Gwen held a blow-dryer aloft at the lowest setting and brushed his fur to speed it up. Now he was dry and poofy looking. Jack and Owen had managed through some tricky manoeuvring to get Myfanwy back into her nest, with the meat and fish as an apology. Tosh had constructed a small cage to keep Bart in for the rest of the day. However, the minute Bart saw it, he scrambled away from the hot air jet of the blow-dryer and ducked his head under Ianto's jacket, clambering in so he was completely hidden between Ianto's stomach and the jacket.

"I'm starting to see why you called him Bart." sighed Gwen, switching off the blow-dryer.

"Yup." drawled Ianto, resting his hand on the bump. Jack decided not to make a wise crack about the last time he was pregnant. "You'd think he'd slow down and behave at his age."

"How old is he?"

"Almost 6 I think… yeah I got him in 2003. Well, rather, he stowed away."

"What'd you mean?"

"I only bought Señor. But when I got him home and opened the box, Bart was in there too. I was gonna bring him back, because I thought Señor would kill him –male rabbits usually fight. But for some reason these two don't fight. Plus Bart gave me the sad eyes, and at the time he was half the size he is now. So I'd like to see you reject that."

"Aw, so he was just a baby." cooed Gwen, smiling.

"They both were. Señor is four times bigger than he was when I got him."

"Ok! I've got to ask!" said Owen as he and Jack joined the other three. "Why rabbits? They're such kiddy pets. Why not a dog? And better yet, why Señor Fluffles?"

"Rabbits are less demanding and require less training. Plus, at the time, I practically had a dog, well a puppy. Mic-" Ianto grimaced, cutting himself off, then pressed on, "Kaela had a dog, still does. Dubhtach. And I saw 'Kaela so often I pretty much thought I owned her –the dog I mean, Dubhtach's a girl. And as for Señor Fluffles, well, 'Kaela thought he looked Spanish… I didn't argue the point."

There was a very awkward silence. Then Gwen said quietly,

"She's very important to you, isn't she." It sounded like she was only beginning to grasp this fact. Ianto nodded.

"She saved me from myself, liked me for myself. Loved me even knowing everything, even after seeing me at my worst. She gave me a chance, and pushed me to do my best." He glanced around at the other, who all looked uncomfortable. "I know none of you like her-"

"I do!" Jack interjected.

"But she does believe in this team. She always has, it's why she gets so upset when we fuck up, because she believes we're better than that."

Gwen and Owen did not look convinced. Ianto sighed and glance at his watch.

"We should order now if we want lunch."

They nodded, but no one moved. Then Jack said, "This Dub-tack, is she the mangy mutt Archie was complaining was more horse than dog?"

Ianto laughed.

"She's a wolfhound, so she's huge."

"Ah. Well-"

Jack's mobile started ringing. Ianto glanced up, looking startled. Jack quickly turned away and answered the call. They all knew who it was.

"Hello? –Hey Michaela, so what… oh, well that's… good. Do we have a date?... Ok, well let me know when you do. Ok –uh, bye."

Jack hung up, staring at his phone looking a little startled by the abrupt ending. He slowly put it back in his pocket and looked at the team. He put on a forced smile. "UNIT's agreed to the trial. We'll know the date as soon as it's in. Nice talk."

"UNIT probably bitched." muttered Ianto, extracting Bart from his jacket and tucking him under his chin. The team looked at each other, unsure and anxious. Then Gwen straightened up to sit down on the couch next to Ianto in a deliberate move.

"We'll be fine. We'll get through this." she said, in a firm tone.

"What makes you so sure?" asked Owen sitting on Ianto's other side. Tosh sat next to him.

"Because there is no other option." said Gwen, lifting her chin with that stubborn expression on her face that they knew so well. As one they all looked at Jack, who swallowed and nodded.

"We'll be fine." He sat on the table, before all of them. "I know it."

He reached out to pet Bart, hoping that at long last, he would be able to-

"Ow! Son of a bitch!"

"Nope. Son of a bunny." sighed Ianto.

* * *

See, I did say I'd start to get Jack and Ianto fixing their relationship, but I never said it'd be any easier than anything else in this story, lol. I know I promised more Janto, but for some reason I cannot fathom, I'm finding it really hard to write ANY interactions between these two characters. They can interact with anyone else, just not each other in my hands it seems. But I am trying to give you more Janto, and more Owen/Ianto interactions. But Bart kinda took over this chapter, so apologies if that annoyed anyone. Hopefully it'll all pick up again soon.

Night's Darkness


	44. Chapter 40

Erm… hi! *waves sheepishly* I recall promising more soon the last time I updated… yeah things kept happening, namely my exams, and the day after my exams I wound up in hospital with dehydration (how one gets dehydrated in a country as wet as Ireland I don't know!) and was kept there for four days, after which I pretty much spent all my time sleeping and watching every documentary I could find (yes, I am that nerdy.) Only really recovered in any way on Christmas Eve, thank God I was able to enjoy Christmas! So… in all likelihood this'll be my last post before the New Year, so I shall see you on the other side.

Hope you enjoy this!

* * *

**Chapter 40**

_(3__rd__ October 2008)_

Days had passed since the escapades of Bart the Bunny –as Gwen had taken to calling it- and things had acquired a strange kind of normality. No one had really commented on anything that had happened during the last month, and they had all settled into a routine that they were all content to keep up with. Gwen's main topic of conversation was about the upcoming wedding that would be on the 15th of November.

"It was the day Rhys finally had the guts to ask me out in college." she'd explained about a thousand times now, usually while she played with her engagement ring and glancing at Jack to see his reaction.

"You'd better hope it's a better day than most of September." was the usual response to her words from the team. They were all feeling rather cynical about the upcoming nuptials, although none of them dared to say it lest they cause even more trouble. Still it was funny for Jack to watch Ianto and Owen roll their eyes in an identical move every time the subject came out.

Owen and Ianto had been seen having short, quiet comfortable silences every day, usually when there was a lull in the workload. They didn't seem to be talking about anything in particular, just stuff about work, what was in the news, or whatever else came to them. No one commented for fear of putting them off. They both looked very relaxed with each other these days. And they were getting very good at getting each other out of conversations about Gwen's wedding. If Ianto was caught, Owen would demand help with cleaning up the Autopsy Bay. If it was Owen, Ianto would interrupt with complaints about Owen's shoddy filing.

Jack and Ianto on the other hand… well it was hard to say what was going on between them. They didn't really talk, but it wasn't always awkward. It was as if both of them had run out of words and so they just stood and conducted business. But there were moments when Jack would touch Ianto's arm, or Ianto would brush by Jack. In those moments, lapis lazuli and cerulean blue met and shutters seemed to drop from windows. In those moments they said more than the human mouth could express.

Ianto was also being very stubborn about his determination to get Michaela back in his life. He called her at least once a day and left messages, ranging from calm to upset depending on how his day had been. Jack and Owen weren't sure how to make him stop, it was fast becoming an obsession for the younger man.

Then, a week after Myfanwy had met Bart –as Ianto was calling it- things shifted.

Ianto was placing a cup on Jack's desk, his second of the day, when the phone next to Jack's hand rang. They both glanced at it, and at the little flashing light that indicated where the call was coming from.

'Torchwood House' was flashing before their eyes. Jack sighed, lifting his hand and resting it on the receiver.

"Do you wanna stay?" he asked softly. Ianto glanced down at the light, then at Jack and nodded, slowly folding into the seat in front of Jack. Jack gave him a minute to change his mind then picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Jack? It's Michaela."

"Hey… Michaela, hi." Jack was a little thrown by her voice. She sounded like she had a cold, or had been crying.

"I'm calling to tell you I've got a date. For the trial."

"Good. Is it soon?"

"Soon enough." A heavy sigh crackled in his ear, "It's November 14th and it'll go on for at least two days, maybe more."

"What?" Jack sat forward. "No, those dates are not great for us. Can't you-"

"No Jack! I cannot just up and ask UNIT to change a date just because it's inconvenient for your precious, oh so special and human Cooper! This is your life, your team's lives on the line here. She can get married any other day, you are only going to get one shot at saving her life so she bloody well can get married! Now I don't care how much of a tantrum she throws she is going to be there with the rest of you and if she doesn't like it she can bloody well grow up and deal."

Jack had never heard her sound so aggravated and he had to concede she was right. Gwen might not like it, but this trial was way more important.

"Right. Fine. I'll inform the team." he said feeling annoyed never the less.

"Good. It's going to be in the Queen Catherine Hotel in London. You know it."

"Definitely." Of course Jack knew it, it had been used by Torchwood and UNIT to conduct business for years; it had tight security, it was plush and fancy and it was neutral ground for the two organisations. It had been the hotel where the three heads of Torchwood had met before Canary Warf. It was also where Jack had met Michaela.

"Good. Get there the day before and you can settle into your rooms and get dressed for it and we can go over the plan for your defence."

"What is our plan of defence?"

"I'm working on it now." she snapped, as if Jack had accused her of not working on it. "In fact I should go and continue working on it. Is there anything you want to know before I go?"

"What kind of trial will it be?"

"There'll be seven judges most of them UNIT, although possibly representatives from the UN itself will also be there –I'll forward the list to you when I get it. UNIT will have a prosecutor and I'll be your defence, and Archie will be with me. The prosecution will go first, and will probably use all the evidence I had to collect for the review, plus anything they can dig up themselves. They won't ask you lot questions because the Review did all that. God knows how long they'll take, but we don't get our turn to defend until they're done and there's a break for the judges to assimilate everything. Then we'll do our bit, then the judges will decide."

"Just like that?"

"They'll probably take some time to decide, unless I can come up with some argument so profound and awe-inspiring or whatever that they turn into my little yes-men so they'll let you off at once."

Jack couldn't repress a chuckle at the image.

"In any case, they'll probably have some kind of list of new rules for Torchwood to follow that you'll have to agree to, and then there'll be the dinner-"

"The dinner?" repeated Jack slowly.

"Apparently whether you get sent to prison or not, the rest of the attendees will be wanting a good old platter of food to guzzle down their fat gullets afterwards. If you get let off I'm told you're more than welcome to join them."

Jack could actually hear her rolling her eyes. "Well… that's very generous of them."

Michaela snorted, "Anything else then?"

"Uh… not right now. I'll call you if I think of anything."

"Right. Grand. Bye."

She hung up so sharply Jack couldn't get another word out. He glanced at the mouthpiece, the dial tone buzzing from the earpiece, and sighed, hanging up. He glanced at Ianto, who had that sad hurt-puppy look in his eyes that he got at every unanswered call. Jack stood up.

"Get the team into the boardroom. We've got a date."

~*~

The announcement did not go well.

"That cow! I bet she deliberately did this! She can't do it! Jack you have to make her change it." shrieked Gwen looking both furious and devastated.

"Gwen, stop!" Jack ordered, appalled by her reaction. "This is out of my hands, and it's out of Michaela's. It's UNIT's call, not mine or hers. And quite frankly, this is far more important than you signing a piece of paper and wearing a pretty dress!"

Gwen gaped at Jack, while Ianto and Owen's eyebrows shot up in shock. Only Tosh remained quiet.

"What's our defence?" asked Ianto, when Gwen seemed happy to glare at Jack like it was all his fault.

"Not sure yet. Michaela said she's working on it now, didn't say anything else."

"There's no chance she's going to be able to fight against the heads of UNIT. I'm serious Ianto!" Owen gave his brother a stern look as Ianto glared at him, "She's small, she's quiet, and she's insignificant in Torchwood. They'll have no respect for her and no interest in listening to her. We need someone like McGregor or Jack defending us. Giving it over to her says that they've no hope in us."

"I wouldn't be so sure." said Ianto looking up at Jack, who was standing at the head of the table.

"Ianto she's not gonna hear you praising her from here." said Owen in a low voice.

"I know that!" he snapped glaring at him, before turning back to Jack. "I'm just saying that she knows UNIT, better than anyone here, probably better than Archie. And she's clever. If we can show her we trust her, have faith in her then I know she can do it."

"I think you're right." said Jack, "I've seen her working with Archie, she is capable of doing it. Whether she will or not is another thing."

Ianto inclined his head, conceding the point. Jack sighed,

"We've got a month and a half to wait, it's not going to be easy to get through it. Tensions will be high especially considering all the stuff we've been going through this past month."

Owen and Ianto ducked their heads a little. Jack continued on, "We have to try and stay together. No more pettiness, no more temper tantrums. If there's a problem, we'll deal with it as adults." He gave Gwen a sharp look as he said this and she scowled. "If you have a problem, we're gonna sort it out by calm discussion."

Ianto lifted his head, looking dubious, "Jack, normal people struggle to sort issues calmly. We've no hope."

"Then what do you suggest Ianto? We let things get out of hand again?"

"No. I'm just saying that there's no such thing as a calm argument. I'm trying to suggest that we should argue if we need to, but we have to try to deal with it and not hold grudges. If yelling helps us to vent and feel better afterwards then we should yell."

"I think he's right." said Owen, passing a hand over his hair. "Look at how bad bottling things up has worked for us."

Jack looked at them both, marvelling at the physical similarities he saw now that he knew to look, their eyes were the same colour and they had very similar cheekbones. His gaze lingered on Ianto then moved to Gwen, who was working her jaw in furious circles, and then at Tosh, who said nothing but nodded.

"Tell you what, why don't you all head home, I doubt we'll get anything done today."

They all nodded, getting to their feet slowly. Tosh was obvious in her lack of urgency to leave. Ianto watched her carefully, then caught Owen's elbow and drew him closer. He whispered into his ear and Owen furrowed his brow. Then he glanced at Tosh, and Ianto did too. Then Owen nodded and started to move away, but then Ianto pulled him back, whispering in his ear with more urgency than before. Owen rolled his eyes, and nodded, giving Ianto a look as if to say 'I'm not that stupid'. Then he moved away and followed after Tosh, out of the boardroom and down the corridor, his hand reaching up and touching between her shoulder blades. Tosh visibly jumped and turned to face him, looking straight at him. Jack watched Ianto watch the two as Gwen stormed out, swearing to herself. Whatever Owen said drew a smile from Tosh and as the door shut the two began to walk away. Jack saw the small smile on Ianto's face as he picked up his mug.

"What did you say to Owen?"

"Just to take Tosh out and try to cheer he up. And I warned him not to screw it all up."

"Playing matchmaker Ianto?"

Ianto snorted, "I hardly think I'm qualified to coach anyone on a good, healthy relationship of any kind, do you?"

Jack shrugged, "Oh I don't know… maybe you'll know what mistakes to avoid."

Ianto's eyes snapped up to meet Jack's. Jack winced, "I didn't mean it like that."

"You'd be right though, wouldn't you?" Ianto sighed, "The amount of fuck ups I've made with people… it's really quite remarkable. And so often I do them without meaning to. I think that's the big irony. All I want is the kind of relationships everyone gets to have. Family, friends, lovers… but I can't seem to manage it. I don't know if it's me, if it's what Ivor did to me, or what…" Ianto sighed, a bitter smile on his face, and shook his head.

Jack approached Ianto carefully and rested his hand on Ianto's shoulder.

"Look. I'm not going to say that what that man did to you hasn't affected you. I won't patronise you like that. But that is not all you are. You've worked so hard to be better, to be more, and you are. Ianto you're not a victim. You're a survivor."

Ianto looked up at Jack's words. Jack could see he was listening intently. So he continued, "You survived that man, you survived Canary Warf, you survived loosing Lisa… most people would never survive all of that and you've managed to get stronger. You've got a good heart Ianto, thing sometimes just go wrong. Sometimes badly wrong. But that doesn't mean they can't be fixed."

Ianto's eyes bored into Jack's and his teeth worried his lower lip.

"Are you talking about the team, Owen, Michaela, or… you and me?"

Jack could hear the silent 'us' and decided that neither of them were ready to have such a talk. His hand moved to the back of Ianto's neck, feeling the soft short hairs at the base of his skull. He gently tugged at him so his side was pressing against Jack's chest. Ianto swallowed, and as Jack passed his hand over Ianto's chest he could feel his heart beating a tattoo on his skin. As Jack encircled Ianto's waist, Ianto gave a small jerk, as if trying to get away. Jack held on, but didn't tighten his grip. He wouldn't be surprised if Ianto was a little jumpy.

"Jack…" Ianto mumbled, his cheeks flushing pink.

"It's ok Ianto. Just let me hold you. I think we both need it. Nothing more."

Ianto swallowed and the mug slipped from his fingers onto the table. His hand moved up to Jack's brace, curling his fingers around it and smoothing his thumb over the bumpy material.

"I've missed you." sighed Jack, pressing his forehead to the side of Ianto's head.

"Mmm…" was all Ianto seemed capable of saying. But Jack could send his emotions through his slight tremble. Jack took in a deep breath and then risked pressing his lips to Ianto's cheek, letting the soft stubble sting the soft skin on his lips. Ianto let out a soft gasp and leaned into Jack's arms. Keeping his lips pressed to Ianto's skin, Jack smiled.

~*~

Gwen could smell the lasagne as she unlocked her door and entered her home.

"Evening lovely!" called Rhys as he washed the lettuce for the salad. "How was work?"

Gwen couldn't even begin to formulate a response. She was still fuming inside about this unfair turn of events. She'd done her level best to help the team, and this was how she was rewarded?

Rhys glanced at her when she didn't respond and saw the expression on her face.

"What's wrong Gwen?"

Gwen swallowed and set her keys on the small table, next to a picture of her and Rhys on a beach.

"Something's… I've got to… I need to talk to you Rhys."

"Oh?" Rhys looked concerned now and he set the lettuce down on the chopping board.

Gwen screwed up her courage and repressed her anger. "You remember that trial I told you about?"

"Yeah, if you failed that Review thing, you could contest it in a trial, right?"

"Yes. That's right. Well, we've got the date for the trial. It came in today."

"Oh?" Rhys was regarding her with an expression that told Gwen he was already guessing which date had been chosen.

"It's in London, on November 14th and it'll go on for at least two days."

Rhys' reaction was surprising. He didn't get angry, didn't start to pace, didn't do any of the things he normally did when he got bad news from Torchwood. Instead he stared at her with a thoughtful expression for a long moment, then sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Well… I think we can get back our deposit on the cake and flowers… and the hotel… your dress was nearly done, may as well just hold onto it, no sense in dumping that…"

"What are you talking about?" asked Gwen in utter bewilderment.

"Well getting the money back on all the stuff. No point in letting that disappear when we can put it to use after the trial."

"After the trial? For what?" Gwen's brain seemed to have stopped working in time with Rhys'. Rhys shrugged like it was obvious,

"Well for the wedding of course. We need to be able to buy it all again. Dunno how much we'll get back, but it's not like we're cancelling the day before, so we should get most of it back."

"But… aren't you upset Rhys? I know I am, and it's my bloody job!" sputtered Gwen.

"Aye, of course I am Gwen. But you were the one who said that if you lost the trial that you'd be locked up for life. To my mind that's way worse than not getting married on that day. We can get married after the trial, it's more important that you lost get off, ain't it?"

The simplicity of his words seemed to jolt Gwen back into coherence. She stared at her fiancé, with his big endearing puppy eyes, and earnest, determined expression, and wondered how she could have ever thought Jack might be the man she really wanted. Here was Rhys, quietly accepting that all his plans and excitement would have to be put on hold, once again, for Torchwood, for her and trying to make the best out of a bad situation, trying to ensure they still got their day.

Gwen felt her throat close with emotion she couldn't remember feeling and her eyes welled up with tears as she walked straight up to him and clasped his face in her hands.

"Rhys Williams, you are brilliant! I don't deserve you."

And for the first time, she was absolutely certain of this. Kissing him, Gwen suddenly felt impulsiveness rise in her chest and she blurted, "Lets get married right now!"

"What? Tonight?" Rhys' eyes bugged out.

"Yes. Right now. Lets' just go and get it done. I want to marry you right now." She took his hand and turned to pull him along, but Rhys laughed and pulled her back, wrapping his arms around her.

"Gwen, we can wait."

"But I don't want to!" she said, splaying her hands over his chest, excitement in her eyes, "I want to be married to you."

"And I want to be married to you love, but hear me out, yeah? We wait –no listen! We wait until after this trial happens, and we have the wedding you wanted. It'll be something to look forward to after the trial, something to make you really make sure you get off. We get married now, it might look like we've given up and you're ready to go off to god knows where. But if we wait, it'll be even better when we get to say those words before everyone we love, because we knew you'd be able to be there. Because we had faith and confidence in your defence and innocence. How about that love? It's our goal to reach beyond this trail."

Gwen did not care how fast the tears were rolling down her cheeks as she stared up at him. Sniffing hard, she kissed him and started undoing his shirt buttons.

"C'mon you big wonderful Welshman, I'm going to leave you in no doubt at all how much I love you."

Rhys smiled and leaned to the side, turning off the oven so the lasagne wouldn't burn, before letting Gwen pull him into their bedroom.

* * *

Have I ever mentioned I love Rhys, thus I can never make him dumb? Rhys be awesome forever!

Night's Darkness


	45. Chapter 41

I know everyone's just as eager as I am for the trial scenes, but I don't want to suddenly rush it all. Plus, I felt that it was important to bring Reset into the story as I am trying to stick to some semblance of canon.

Enjoy! (oh! So not betaed)

* * *

**Chapter 41**

_(4__th__ October 2009)_

Jack opened his eyes and smiled to himself as he found Ianto was still there. The young man had agreed to stay the night, but had insisted that they just sleep, nothing more. Jack hadn't bothered to point out that that had been all he wanted. He worried it would be too open for Ianto right now. So they'd slept side by side, just their sides touching and Jack had actually slept better than he had in a while.

Ianto on the other hand, did not appear to be sleeping well. He was twitching, head jerking a little from side to side, and his lips moved in mumbled words. As Jack watched, Ianto's eyes snapped open and he looked all around him, jumping when he realised Jack was there.

"Hey. You ok?"

Ianto's eyes moved about again, and he sat up, actively searching the room for something, before he lay back and stared at the roof.

"No." he said flatly, "These fucking dreams!"

"Nightmares?" asked Jack, unsurprised.

"They're not… well they're not pleasant, but they're not like normal nightmares. It's like my brain took a dip in Tim Burton's acid-ridden imagination. All these weird, freaky things going on, and always at least one of you are there and you're either part something else, or doing something weird, or my rabbits are the size of cars or thimbles and running around telling me off…" Ianto swallowed and looked at Jack seriously, "I think I'm going insane."

"No. Insane would be too close to reality for you to tell the difference. This is your brain trying to rectify everything that's happened in the last month. It may also be having a bit of a Wonderland moment to amuse itself. But you Ianto Jones, are not insane." said Jack with absolute certainty.

"Well I'd like it to stop. My brain is too damn freaky for me to willingly sleep if this keeps up."

"What kind of things are we doing?"

"Well… the first night… I was with Michaela, and then she seemed to fuse into half Michaela, and half converted Lisa… and then you were there, but it was like… you were representing Torchwood, and…" Ianto swallowed, "You were raping her. And I couldn't stop you."

Jack raised his eyebrows in shock. That he'd not expected. Ianto covered his eyes.

"I hate this! I hate how messed up everything is. I hate that she won't talk to me, I hate how hurt Tosh is, I hate what I've done."

"Well the only thing we can do is give it time. It's like after Lisa. It took time to trust you again, and in some ways this is bigger. Plus you need to trust us again, we exposed you, made you feel vulnerable… so it's a two way street. We just… need to give it time."

Ianto uncovered his eyes and turned his head to look at Jack. He stared unblinkingly at Jack for a moment, then murmured,

"How come I trust you with my life but not…?"

Jack gave a rueful smile and brushed his thumb over Ianto's brow,

"Because it's those things that make life worth something."

Ianto smiled, giving a little snort, "You're such a girl."

Jack rolled his eyes, but began to play with Ianto's hair.

"We should get up." Jack sighed.

"Mmm." mumbled Ianto. "If Owen sees me down here… actually I don't know what he'd do."

"The fun of brothers." chuckled Jack.

"Apparently."

"Still, at least you've got him."

"… Yeah."

"C'mon. Up we get." Jack heaved himself, then Ianto, out of the bed. He was a little too forceful though, as Ianto cracked his head on the low ceiling.

"Ow! Fuck!" Ianto clutched his head, doubling over.

"Sorry! Sorry!" yelped Jack, frantically looking for blood. Ianto let out a strong noise, then began to laugh. It was a strange sound to Jack's ears, but it was also infectious. Jack could not help joining in. they collapsed onto the bed, giggling until neither could breathe, at which point they slumped back, panting like they'd had a round of good fucking. Jack felt almost as sated as if they had and glanced at Ianto, pleased to see Ianto smiling at the ceiling. He finally looked his age again.

~*~

_(19__th__ October 2010)_

Three weeks past, and the Rift had begun acting up again. Nothing world-ending-y, but nothing simple. At least it was keeping them all alarmingly busy, so they had no time to dwell much beyond the now. The trial was a distant far off thing they would deal with when it was closer.

Besides, Jack had something else on his mind. Something much more appealing.

"Suddenly, in an underground mortuary, on a wet night in Cardiff, I hear the song of a nightingale." he declared as he bounded from a dead body to the moving cogwheel. As it rolled away it revealed a woman Owen did not know. Dark skin, a fancy, figure flattering suit, and a broad smile fixed on Jack, Owen could only pray this wasn't another ex-lover.

"Miss Martha Jones." said Jack as he beamed at her. Owen noted the smile, glanced at Ianto who was looking between the newcomer and his… whatever the hell Jack was to him and kept his distance.

'So help you Jack, if you even think of doing something stupid-'

"Oh, it's good to see you, Jack." gushed Martha, throwing her arms around Jack's neck. Jack squeezed her tight and Owen felt like punching him. He moved so he was visible to Ianto and tried to catch his eye. Ianto was looking at the ceiling, only looking down when Jack said his name as an introduction. Owen missed the way Martha's eyes lit up with glee at Ianto's name. Put out and uneasy with anyone who had a history with a team member right now (both John Hart and Michaela Murphy came to mind), Owen asked in a snarky tone,

"Just a casual visit or…?"

"I'm here to complete your post-mortem." declared Martha like she had every right. Owen narrowed his eyes until they were almost slits. He did not like this at all.

"Dr Jones is from UNIT." said Jack in one quick breath, as if hoping to glance over this titbit. Gwen and Tosh, who'd been smiling, now looked disconcerted. Martha, Jack's hand resting on her shoulder, said,

"Don't worry, I'm as much Jack's as UNIT's for loyalty."

"No offence but UNIT isn't exactly our best friend at the moment." said Owen icily. Jack gave him a stern look of warning.

"So I've heard." said Martha wryly even as Jack steered her towards the autopsy bay. The team followed. "Everyone I've met in UNIT is all about this upcoming trial."

"Great, we're a gossip story." muttered Gwen.

"What's the story Martha, why the interest in our friend here?" asked Jack, forcing the subject to change as Martha descended the steps and set her briefcase on the table right where Jack's feet hovered above, heels perched on the edge as he leaned on the chain railing. Ianto went to his side and watched in silence. Owen hurried after Martha, annoyed by the invasion. This was his territory!

"I identified a pattern from UNIT's data on sudden deaths. Toxic shock. Nothing to link the victims. Different ages, sexes, ethnic origins, occupations. But there was a statistically significant concentration in South Wales." explained Martha, snapping on gloves and turning to the body.

"Come on, Martha, be honest. You just came all this way to see me." purred Jack. Owen glared up at him, but he caught Ianto's eyes instead. To his surprise, Ianto gave him a reassuring look and shook his head, as Martha said,

"Still struggling to conquer your shyness, Jack?"

Jack chuckled, almost preening before grinning at Ianto, who rolled his eyes openly at him. Jack's smile widened and he clapped a hand on Ianto's shoulder, leaving it there as he watched Martha start to examine the body, starting with the toes. Owen looked between them, wary, but deciding to say nothing. Yet.

"So what about this pattern, then, Dr Jones?"

"They were being written off as suicides or accidents. Look. Puncture mark. Hypodermic needle. You'll find his bloodstream was pumped full of ammonium hydroxide."

Owen felt Jack's eyes on him, and saw the slightly amused look on Martha's face as he cleared his throat and said, "Yeah Bloodstream. That was the thing I was going to do next."

He'd had the damn corpse for all of five minutes before she'd arrived. He'd not had time to do it yet.

"Have you checked his medical records?"

Owen huffed, once again fighting the urge to point out the limited time he'd had. "No. I was just about to."

"Well, let's give it a go. You never know, Owen, you might learn something." Martha was grinning at him and Owen felt his temple twitch. She was younger than him, and he was one of the best in his field. He'd seen this before. Medical students who'd just passed their exams and thought they knew more than the old pros. Although… Owen glanced up at Jack as Tosh started her computer magic, and considered that knowing Jack did incline one to be more worldly wise. But that did not mean she could talk down to him, and he would bloody well make sure she did not again.

"Relax." muttered Ianto in his ear as the others moved away to follow Martha. Owen had not noticed him come over. "Jack said she's brilliant."

"And I'm not?"

"You're brilliant, but grouchy. It lowers your credibility."

"Ah, but arrogance doesn't?"

"You're also arrogant. Every doctor is. It comes with the profession I think."

"Shut up."

"Whatever."

Owen snorted and they bumped shoulders as they went to keep up with the others.

~*~

While Jack and Martha played girly catch up, Ianto began to play a game Owen was calling 'Regression Pressure and Hit'.

"So have you done it yet?"

"Ianto, running tests right now."

"So you've not done it yet?"

"Ianto I swear to God…"

"You should do it. It's a good idea."

"Grr…"

"Maybe Tosh will like having a pubescent puppy for a boyfriend, you've never asked her."

"Did you just call me a puppy?"

"Pubescent Puppy. Alliteration is fun!"

Screwing up his mouth, Owen set down his work and glared up at Ianto who was trying, and failing, to hide a smirk.

"How much longer will you keep this up?"

"Until you do it!"

Owen buried his face in his hands. Since he'd taken Tosh out for a drink at Ianto's insistence, his little brother had turned into a nightmare of persistence. Whenever they were alone for more than two minutes, Ianto would turn on what seemed to be a latent childish little brother circuit in his brain and relentlessly harass Owen about inviting Tosh out. And that wasn't the worst of it. Every time Owen brushed off Tosh's timid advances, he was quickly punished with a thick load of files smacking the back of his head. Owen would have to invest in a helmet soon if Ianto kept this up.

Owen couldn't figure out why Ianto was being so relentless about this, Ianto wouldn't explain it and Jack was clearly on Ianto's side as he'd ignored the three times Ianto had whacked Owen in front of him.

"Ianto, pestering me about asking Tosh out is making me less inclined to do it."

"Owen, leaving you alone about it hasn't worked for years."

"What'll it take to make you go away right now?"

"A promise that next time Tosh asks you out you'll say yes or I get to beat you over the head with all the files I can get a hold of."

"Done." said Owen, desperate for some peace. He would not allow Martha Jones to outshine him. It was only as Ianto walked away that Owen realised he may have agreed too easily.

Having a brother was full of problems.

Owen was distracted from his work by Martha speaking,

"You've got some well weird kit. What's this?"

Owen glanced up as Martha touched the singularity scalpel.

"Be careful. It's an alien artefact." warned Jack, as Owen moved forward and took it from Martha's fingers, explaining,

"There's a lot of argument about this. But for my money, it's got to be a surgical instrument."

"Really?"

"He's guessing. Typical medic." scoffed Jack.

Owen glared at him. "Hmm. Okay, right. Well, I call it a singularity scalpel. See, what it does is it concentrates energy on a tiny fixed point without damaging anything on the way. It's brilliant."

"It's amazing."

"Yeah, do you remember the last time you did that, Owen...?" warned Gwen.

"Yes, yes. Right, now, all we're going to do is, we're going to vaporise this paper without even scorching the cup." Owen set it up as Gwen moved out of the way and Jack and Martha crowded behind them as Jack crowed,

"This is going to end in tears."

Owen ignored him as he began to set the singularity scalpel to the right calibrations.

Although it didn't work out the way he wanted it, it was still a delightful way to get some vengeance on Ianto who nearly wet himself when the vase him exploded.

~*~

"Can you imagine being able to cure everything wrong with you all in one go?"

Owen glanced at Ianto who was sitting on the couch, staring unseeing at the computer screens. Martha was inside the Pharm and they were waiting for her to begin her snooping. At the moment she was staring at the ceiling. She was used to weirdness enough to ignore the contacts to read a few magazines, but Jack had pestered her with critical comments about how the celebs looked, until Ianto had asked Jack what he'd done with his bra and Jack had gotten indignant at the implication that he wasn't man enough.

"Would be a medical marvel. Although probably put most doctors out of a job."

"Wouldn't fix a broken leg. Wouldn't fix a stab to the organs." murmured Ianto. Owen glanced at the screens, decided Martha was going nowhere for a bit and turned around to give Ianto his full attention.

"Maybe not, but it would still make it tough."

"Wouldn't that be worth the ability to cure HIV?" asked Ianto, blinking and looking at Owen properly.

"Suppose."

"Although… isn't there some rule that if you're immune to HIV you'd be susceptible to some other disease that's just as bad."

"That's the problem with medicine. You're fighting a battle against something that can mutate and get stronger all the time."

Ianto cocked his head to the side, "But you can't say if you'd had it when Dad was sick you wouldn't have used it without a thought."

That caught Owen off guard. But he nodded,

"I wouldn't have wondered. I'd have done it."

"Do you think it would have helped Mam? With her fertility problems."

"Dunno, maybe. Although, we're not sure if these buggers can fix genetic problems."

"If she could have had a kid, then she wouldn't have died." sighed Ianto, leaning back into the couch.

"You don't know that."

"She fell down the stairs, because she was weak and fragile from her miscarriages. I know it."

Owen considered the idea, that if the Mayflys worked and had been available, then maybe both their parents would be alive. Then maybe neither would be in Torchwood. And Owen couldn't imagine his life with his parents or without Torchwood.

Owen nodded,

"Maybe you're right." Then he regarded his brother carefully, "You ok? What's made you so morose?"

Ianto swallowed and swivelled his head on his neck as he grasped for words. "I… I… guess it's all sorta catching up. You know, sometimes I'm fine, and other times I'm so goddamn depressed. Sometimes it's like everything's ok, and other times… I see a pit and I'm in it and I can't get out. I dunno, I guess the idea of a magical cure for all problems would make anyone wonder, yeah?"

"Yeah." sighed Owen. "Maybe if I'd had it… it could have killed the thing inside Katie before it killed her."

"It wouldn't have saved Lisa." sighed Ianto. "Metal is…" he trailed off and went back to staring into space. Owen sat down next to him and stared around too, not feeling like talking. Then he looked back at Ianto, seeing him in profile. He noticed Ianto had their dad's chin. He smiled a little, then nudged him.

"Hey."

Ianto looked at him.

"Stay near me this mission, yeah?"

Ianto looked a little confused, but he nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah, ok."

~*~

Later, as Tosh explained her pool date frustration evident on her face, Owen saw Ianto standing in the background. Ianto brandished a stack of files in a threat, eyes widening in urging. Owen bit the bullet as Tosh said in exasperation,

"I just thought if we spent some time together, an evening..."

"All right."

Tosh blinked owlishly at him, "Sorry?"

"Lets do it." said Owen, being deliberately casual.

"Are you being sarcastic?"

Tosh really did have a low opinion of him didn't she?

"No."

"You're being polite. You'll stand me up."

Owen gave a small laugh, "I've just said yes, haven't I? One date, see how it goes, which might be nowhere." He had to say it. Had to be blunt. And Ianto had to have superhuman hearing because he looked like he wanted to smack Owen.

"That's fine. A drink." Tosh looked a little dazed.

"Ok."

"Yeah."

"And I'm going to keep flirting with people, OK? Just cos of this, doesn't mean I'm going to stop flirting."

"You can be king of flirts." smiled Tosh.

"OK. Right, then."

"Yeah."

"Good. We should, er... concentrate on Martha." Owen jabbed his pen at the screen.

"Yeah."

Owen gave it a minute and then moved to Ianto's side, smirking,

"There you go. I-"

Whack!

"Ow! Ianto!" Owen held his head, more startled than hurt.

"First of all, Jack is King of Flirts, I do not need my brother fighting him for the title, you will loose horribly! Secondly, you're a complete and utter arse!"

~*~

Apparently, however much of an arse Owen was, it did not stop Ianto from sticking by him. Then again, it never had.

Copley had a gun pointed at Martha, and Owen stepped between them, Ianto hissing at him in caution just behind him. Owen raised his eyes, staring at the scientist he'd admired for so long, driven to cruel madness for his own curiosity and glory-hunger. But if there was one thing Owen had learned in the last month or so, firm rationality could go a long way to break into fury.

"Now, let's not be stupid. OK? We're both rational men, scientists. I know you don't want to shoot that."

But Owen had also learned that sometimes the fury was far too much and there was nothing that could stop it.

_Bang!_

_Bang!_

"Owen!"

"Ianto!"

A thump of a body landing on the ground, loud over the silence.

…

…

"Ah!! For fuck's sake Ianto why do you hate my shoulder?!"

* * *

Why is the word quirky coming to mind about this chapter? Also did you really think I'd go with Reset's ending after everything we've been through?

Lol!

Night's Darkness


	46. Chapter 42

Is this another chapter in a week I see before me? I do believe it is.

Not much to say except enjoy and thank you for all your comments!

* * *

**Chapter 42**

_(19__th__ October 2008)_

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"

"You haven't said sorry once!"

"I know. I was hoping the number would be zero."

Owen gave a blustery growl at Ianto and crushed his hand as Martha staunched the bleeding of his shoulder. When Copley had fired, Ianto had pushed Owen to get out of the way. It hadn't been enough to dodge the bullet, but it had been just enough that it hit Owen's shoulder, rather than his chest. In all likelihood, it was the only reason Owen was now able to yell at Ianto.

"You really hate my shoulder, that's twice you've made a bullet hit it!"

"The first time was your own damn fault."

"Christ you two really are brothers." said Martha, widening her eyes as the two of them bickered. Jack and Tosh were getting rid of Copley's body. Jack had shot him through the head when he'd fired. Gwen was ordering the police around to round up all the members of the Pharm.

"Yeah. We are brothers. And it's more bloody trouble than its worth!" groused Owen, willing the pain meds to kick in.

"So I hear." said Martha. "That trial really must have your collective knickers in a twist."

"I'd feel better, if I could have faith in our defence!" snapped Owen.

"Hey!" Ianto glared at him, but squeezed his hand.

"You mean Murphy?" asked Martha, using the lights in the SUV boot where Owen was huddled on a blanket, to search for the bullet and determine the damage.

"Michaela, yeah."

"Oh, well, she sounds like the best defence you could ask for. Went ballistic over the trial date and all that."

"She did?" Ianto was looking at Martha. Owen couldn't help but listen too.

"Oh yeah, flew straight to London when she was told and had a big argument with the Brigadier. Apparently she didn't like how awkward the date was and she had said that date was a bad one. Plus, she thought they were letting you lot stew leaving it for a month and a half when there was no real reason."

"Wait, she tried to avoid the date? Why?"

"No idea, no one knows. But I did see her when she arrived at the UNIT HQ. She looked livid."

Owen narrowed his eyes and glanced at Ianto. They were both thinking the same thing. Gwen's wedding was the only reason for rejecting that day. Which meant Michaela had tried to let Gwen have her day. She'd failed, but Owen had to give her credit, she'd tried. But why hadn't she said that she'd tried?

"What is UNIT's attitude to 'kaela?" asked Ianto.

"Well, she's got enough of a reputation that she can cause a stir that's for sure. Also known as the Mother Hen of Torchwood, because she's so protective of all the other members. But I'd say you know that better than me."

No they didn't, Owen realised, and he shared another look with Ianto. He knew as soon as he got the chance, Ianto would be calling Michaela again.

"Ow! Fuck."

"Got it!" crowed Martha, holding up a bullet in a pair of tweezers. "Lucky for you it didn't go through the shoulder blade. I can stitch it up now."

"Thank you Dr. Jones."

"You are most welcome Dr. Harper."

~*~

When they finally arrived at the Hub, Owen was being to doze off from the meds Martha had given him. Martha insisted on giving him on final look over before she allowed him to sleep.

"Ok, Doctor. I think you'll live." she said, smiling wryly.

"Mmm…" Owen's eyes were drooping and his head dipping as he fought to stay awake. He would never admit it, but Ianto was the only reason he wasn't falling flat on his face. Ianto was supporting him, arms around his middle, and not even complaining about his suit getting bloodied. Martha smiled as Owen leaned forward to get off the Autopsy table.

"Someone should stay with him tonight."

"He can stay in my guest room." said Ianto, heaving Owen off the table and slugging his uninjured arm over his shoulders. "C'mon Owen. Thank god you're a skinny bastard."

"Shurrup!"

Ianto snorted and started to walk Owen through the Hub. He shared a grin with Tosh as he passed her.

"Need a hand?"

"Nope. He's not that heavy. Just incredibly rude." Ianto paused in his stride, smirking at her, "I wish you luck with him and question your sanity for your attraction to him."

"Ianto shurrup and get me somewhere I can sleep!" groaned Owen, leaning against Ianto completely now as he fell asleep. Ianto rolled his eyes, then leaned forward and lifted Owen into a fireman lift. As he did so, Tosh saw Jack's eyes light up with excitement, no doubt wondering what he'd have to do to get that lucky. Tosh shook her head, smiling as Ianto staggered out to his car. Jack watched him go, then turned to Martha.

"Think you could stay a couple of days while Owen heals?"

"Sure I guess. I get to decide my own work hours." said Martha grinning.

"Good. Drink?"

"Please."

"Tosh, Gwen!" called Jack as he grabbed his coat, "Go home and get some rest. Nice job today."

Tosh nodded and decided that she would pay a visit to Ianto's. If Owen was still out cold, she and Ianto could watch some movies and drink a bit. Besides, Tosh wanted to scold Ianto a little for his constant whacking of Owen's head. She'd no idea why he was doing it, but it really had to stop. Owen was getting paranoid.

~*~

_(__20__th__ October 2009)_

Owen woke in a room he did not recognise. His shoulder was aching and he tried in vain to remember where he was. He sat up and holding his shoulder with his other hand, he got out of the bed and staggered to the door, peering around the edge. There was no one there. Owen edged out of the room and started moving down the stairs. He did not know where he was, but he was taking no chances.

Then –

"No Bart!"

A small black creature came belting out of a door into the front hall. He was dragging in his mouth the end of a bra, which skimmed over the floor behind the little rabbit. Next second, Ianto came belting out of the same door and pounced on the rabbit and bra.

"Give me that!" he snapped lifting Bart up into the air and pulling the bra out of his mouth. "Bad Bart! Very bad!"

"It's ok Ianto!" laughed Tosh as she came out after him. "He's only playing."

"Don't let his size muddle your judgement, he's a devil and he knows it!" declared Ianto, glaring nose to nose with rabbit.

"May I have my bra back Ianto?"

"Huh?" Ianto glanced down at his hand and flushed, "Oh! Right, here. Sorry." He thrust the bra into her hands, quickly sticking that hand in his pocket as he returned to glaring at the rabbit, who appeared to be sulking. Tosh laughed again and turned around. Her dark eyes spotted Owen standing on the stairs.

"Owen!"

Ianto looked away from the bunny and smiled, "About time. I was about to come up and push you out of the bed."

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" asked Owen, perhaps a little less amused than he meant to sound. Tosh and Ianto looked utterly perplexed, until Owen nodded at the bra swaying from Tosh's hand. Ianto laughed this time.

"Sod off Owen!" he chortled. "Tosh slept on the couch after a few movies."

"Oh really?"

"I take this off so I'm more comfortable." said Tosh smiling, her cheeks flushing a faint pink. "It's like you boys needing large boxers to breath in. I put it on the arm of the couch and Bart got a hold of it like he always does."

Owen snorted a laugh as Ianto set Bart down and the rabbit immediately started jumping at the dangling end of the bra.

"Is Bart some sort of feminist that wants all bras burned or something?" he asked as he descended the steps.

"Nah, he just has a crush on Tosh." said Ianto breezily as he stepped past the bouncing bunny and went into what looked like the kitchen. Tosh smiled and walked after him, Bart chasing after her, or her still swinging bra. Owen followed last, wondering (hoping?) that Ianto was kidding.

"So… what happened to get me here?" he asked as he sat down next to Tosh as Ianto filled the kettle.

"You fell asleep when we were walking to the car, I decided you'd be better off here. I have a guest room and it's closer to the Hub." he answered, fiddling with a coffee machine that shone with loving care.

"Ah. Got any of my painkillers?"

"Yes I do." Ianto brought them and some water over. As Owen drank them, he watched Tosh, who was using her bra like a piece of string that she dangled over Bart who was appearing increasingly desperate to lay claim to the item of intimate clothing. Owen's eyes drifted from the bra, to Tosh's chest. He'd never noticed how attractive her chest was, full and plump and… bouncy… very bouncy…

"Owen? Are getting hypnotised by Tosh's breasts?" asked Ianto rather loudly. Tosh's eyes twinkled as Owen jumped and flushed.

"No! No, I mean… I wasn't…" Owen groaned and buried his face into his hands as Tosh and Ianto both laughed, broken by Tosh saying,

"Oh! He's got it again."

"You're a bunny-cock tease Toshiko Sato." scolded Ianto as Bart, Tosh's bra tight in his teeth zipped away at blurring speed.

"I am not!"

"You are!"

"I am not!"

"You are both aware that you're talking about a bunny." snapped Owen, massaging his temples. "Shouldn't we be at work anyway?"

"It's Saturday. Jack said unless we have a Rift Alert, we're fine."

"Thank God." sighed Tosh. "We've not had enough of our weekends lately."

"We've had the last three."

"And none for over a month before that. Between one thing and then the other…" Tosh shook her head. Ianto cocked his head and pulled a face of agreement as he poured out some coffee. "Oh! Owen, I thought you'd like to know something."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. I checked the CCTV of when you were shot. If Ianto hadn't pushed you, you'd have been struck in the chest right where your heart is. You'd be dead if it weren't for Ianto."

There was a pause as Owen considered this, then glanced at Ianto, who peered over his shoulder at him. Owen lifted his eyebrows for a moment and nodded his head,

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." said Ianto, smiling. Tosh looked between them and she smiled. As Ianto dished out some coffee, Bart came flying by with the bra, followed by Señor whose nose was against the ground, following the other end of it. "What have you done to my rabbits Toshiko?" asked Ianto, shaking his head.

"I've done nothing." said Tosh, pretending to be offended.

"You two do this often then? Bunny's battling over bras and such?" asked Owen, looking between them with some suspicion.

"Somewhat. We both like the same sort of movies, and we like to have a few drinks and a laugh. It's nice to spend time with friends outside of the Hub." explained Tosh.

"And I told you alliteration was fun." said Ianto smugly as he sat down with them.

Owen rolled his eyes.

"Bloody insane the both of you."

~*~

_(21__st__ October 2008)_

Owen had spent much of the Saturday asleep in front of the TV, while Ianto had gone out to do the shopping. Leaving Owen alone with a very unwelcoming Bart. Apparently, aside from Ianto, Bart only liked women, and despised men coming in on his turf. The rabbit had sat in his chair in the sitting room, watching Owen all afternoon, like an evil bond villain, plotting his doom. All he'd needed was a tiny white cat to stroke.

As he'd lolled about on Ianto's couch, Owen also began to think. Think about things he'd been putting off, despite promising he would not. And now, he had no excuse. He and Ianto were both free and they had a car. So Owen came to a decision.

"We're going out."

Ianto looked up from his toast. "Huh?"

"You. Me. A car. Driving somewhere."

"Where?"

"Not gonna say."

"You'll have to. I'll be driving."

"No I do not. You have GPS. All you must do is obey."

Ianto set down his toast. "We're gonna end up on train tracks or in a ditch." he said with complete certainty. But he agreed to the trip. They got ready and climbed into the car. Owen programmed the GPS and set it into it's holder. Ianto glanced at it, but Owen smacked his shoulder.

"No looking. Just drive Jones."

"Whatever Harper."

The car ride took them out of the city, and they were soon heading towards Newport. As Ianto realised this his eyes widened and he glanced at Owen for a moment.

"Owen, where-"

"Just keep driving. It's ok. I promise."

Ianto swallowed, some of the colour leaving his cheeks as he kept driving. They kept going but Ianto's shoulders were tensing as they went. Owen watched him carefully. He remembered what Ianto had told him before he'd been shot, that he was still not right, that he was still struggling, and he knew that this was a big moment. Owen had to handle this right.

At last, Ianto turned a corner and a graveyard appeared extending out beyond their eyesight.

"Ok, park here." murmured Owen, pointing at an open space. Ianto nodded and slowly parked the car. He was white and a thin sheen of sweat had appeared on his brow. As he switched off the ignition, he stared at his hands which were gripping the steering wheel. Owen gave him a moment and then clapped his shoulder,

"C'mon Ianto. Let's do this."

Ianto swallowed and nodded. He took a deep breath and then hurried to get out of the car, no doubt hoping to avoid changing his mind. Owen fumbled his own way out and walked around to join Ianto on the path. They glanced at each other and then down the path into the graveyard. Legs made of lead they walked down the gravel path, both their minds guiding them without conscious consideration. They moved past gleaming black granite with gold engravings, covered with flowers, while crumbling, grey stone was vanishing under moss and ivy, digging into it and eradicating the name on it. Dates flashed by their eyes, some so recent, others old beyond their memory. The words 'beloved' 'dear' and 'devoted' all passed them by, until at last they came to the one they were here for.

It had become overgrown, uncared for by either son for years. One because he'd held onto his hate, the other because he'd spent so long running away. Now they stood side by side and stared down at the black granite, which did not gleam. A mound of grass had grown over it, the only flowers were those of weeds, vermin flowers, no love in their cultivation. Bright yellow, deep purple, neither colours were hers.

Owen swallowed and glanced at Ianto's face, or rather his lip. Owen had split it the last time they'd been here. Ianto glanced at Owen. Was he remembering his final abandonment by his family? Owen couldn't tell. Owen sighed and looked down at the tombstone again. Then he crouched down and reached out, pulling at the tendrils of ivy and the blankets of moss, determined to find her name. After a moment, Ianto did the same. Their long white fingers plucked away at the proof that no human lasted forever to expose the lie that they did, like harpists plucking out a tune.

At last, they dug deep enough to find it.

Elen Morgan Jones

Owen's fingers went limp as he stared at the name. Then they twitched and reached up to pressed against the grooves that made up his mother's name. He was still for a moment, then the corners of his mouth twisted and he ducked his head letting out a broken sob. His tears made a soft noise as they landed on the grass beneath their feet and his shoulders shook violently with each ragged breath. Ianto, his cheeks bisected by tears escaping his narrowed eyes, reached out an arm and drew Owen to him, tucking his head under his chest, the other arm curling up and cradling his head as Owen's tears continued to fall onto the grave, maybe soaking all the way down to the place where the coffin had been and dust was now beginning to be all that remained of the woman that had given birth to both of them.

Owen wept and although he was a cynical doctor, he found his mind shoving away the facts and figures and images of human decomposition to instead imagine that if someone happened upon them, they would see three figures. Two crouching men and a beautiful, pale, blue eyed woman standing over both of them, smiling through her weeping and loving them both, no matter what they did. Owen wanted to look behind him and see her face, remember her face. He couldn't remember her face. All there was were blue eyes, black hair and sheep jumping over fences printed onto blue pyjamas.

After what felt like hours, the sobs subsided, and then a sudden rush of something made Owen throw himself out of Ianto's arms and onto the grass, pressing his face into the soil and the grass, inhaling the heavy scent of death and life intermingling at each others very boarders. His lips moved in mumbled, silent words, his fingers digging into the edges of the mound. He wanted her hugs, her kisses, her love. That was all he wanted, and she could not give it. All his chances had flown away like uncaged birds because he'd been careless and jealous.

Ianto's hands were strong on his shoulders and he gently tugged him upright again. Owen was panting like he'd run a marathon, a marathon he should have run years ago. Owen looked at his little brother and grabbed at his shirt, pulling them against each other in a not-quite-hug. Ianto was all he had left of her, and he was not going to –he couldn't –he _wouldn't_!

Ianto's tears had subsided. Owen wondered how he had any left.

Ianto drew in a shuddering breath and rocked back onto the balls of his feet. Owen knew what he was doing.

Ianto gave a huff and pulled them both upright. Owen felt all his energy get sucked down into the grave.

Ianto led Owen away from their mother. Owen stumbled, half struggling to go back.

Ianto kept pushing them forwards. Owen was desperate for her forgiveness.

Ianto eased him back into the car. Owen slumped in his seat as the door shut, all the fight gone out of him.

Ianto climbed into the car and shut the door. Owen sniffed and did not bother to wipe his face.

Ianto did not start the car for a long time. Owen stared at the dashboard, not really seeing it.

He was so sorry.

* * *

I don't tend to get teary over my own fics, but I think parent-angst is my weakness (makes most Disney movies quite tough to get through tbh) as this last bit did. So I'm offering tissues to all who need them. *holds out tissue box*

Night's Darkness


	47. Chapter 43

Would you believe this is a complete Janto chapter? I know I wouldn't!

* * *

**Chapter 4****3**

_(26th October 2008)_

Jack stared up at the ceiling, his hands behind his head as he lay on Ianto's bed. Bart was attacking his boots, but Jack had learned to ignore him now. Besides he was thinking carefully about what he would do next.

Ianto had invited him to stay the night after they'd had a quiet take out. Ianto was currently brushing his teeth in the bathroom, and Jack was meant to be getting comfy.

But Jack wasn't sure how comfy 'comfy' was supposed to be. To Jack, under normal circumstances, comfy was naked and eager. But right now… well he and Ianto had shared a bed a good few times in the last two weeks, but always in the Hub, always with some form of clothing, and never with any sex.

Jack missed sex.

Neither he nor Ianto had brought up the lack of anything beyond touching and the occasional kiss. Ianto seemed determined to ignore the sudden drop in physicality between them, as if he was embarrassed by it. Maybe he was. Technically speaking, the last time they'd had something akin to sex had been violent and not entirely consensual on either of their parts. If that memory was burning in Ianto's brain, no wonder he was embarrassed to do anything more.

"Why aren't you… in the bed?" asked Ianto, emerging from his bathroom and frowning at Jack.

"I'm afraid that your rabbit will eat my feet if I undress." said Jack. He was only half kidding. Bart had just chewed through his laces.

"Bart, get!" ordered Ianto, pointing at the floor. Bart completely ignored him. Señor, who was lying with his back paws stretched out over Ianto's space, watched with big brown eyes and seemed highly amused as Bart clambered over Jack's boot and started biting through the other lace. Ianto sighed, and reached for Bart. "Sorry. I'll put them away."

"Nah, it's fine, I've a million laces at the Hub." Jack found that the rabbits were a bit of a godsend when he wasn't feeling too sure of himself. Ianto was very particular about not being horny in front of his pets. His excuse was it was like taunting a paraplegic by walking, seeing as he'd had them both neutered. "No rush to put them away."

"Ok." Ianto pushed Señor to make him move and then climbed under the sheets, propping himself up with pillows. Señor snuggled in the space between them and Jack stroked between his ears. Señor's back paw began to shake with enjoyment. Ianto rolled onto his side to face Jack. Jack did the same, making Bart slip off his boots. Bart retaliated by attacking Jack's toes through the leather. Ianto began to run his fingers over Señor's back. A silence stretched between the two men, slightly awkward, but also rather comfy.

"Ianto?"

"Mmm?"

"… why rabbits?"

It was a question that had bugged him since he'd first seen the two creatures. It just seemed so odd. Rabbits were typically children's pets, weren't they?

Ianto smiled, a little sadly, scratching Señor's rump, "I was going to be moving to London. I wasn't looking forward to living alone. 'kaela suggested a pet, and rabbits aren't too messy and you don't need to walk them. We bought Señor and when we brought him back to my flat, we found Bart in the box with him. I like having rabbits. Michaela's trained her dog like you wouldn't believe, Dubhtach is a brilliant dog, but with Torchwood I wouldn't have the time to look after anything like that. Plus… rabbits are quiet, and they can just sit with you… I like having them… even if they are a bit of an odd pair."

"A bit odd doesn't quite cover the one that's now going for my socks." said Jack, glancing down. Bart had stuck his head into Jack's trouser leg and was nipping at his sock that peeped over his boot. "Why does your pet hate me?"

"Bart hates all men. You should have seen the evil looks he gave Owen when he was here."

Owen had stayed with Ianto for two days after his injury, but was now back at his own place. Jack thought that was for the best. The brothers were getting alone very well now, but too much contact would probably ruin their carefully built relationship. That had been five days ago, and Jack had noticed a shift in their behaviour. Ianto had relaxed around Owen more, as if something he'd been holding onto was now freed. Jack had not asked, not wishing to pry.

"He likes you." he said, glancing back at Ianto. Ianto lifted his chin and said in a dead serious voice,

"I own all his carrots."

"Ah… of course."

They grinned at each other. Jack allowed his fingers to move over to Ianto's and began to rub over them gently. Ianto stilled, his eyes moving down to where Jack's thumb was brushed over his knuckles. He licked his lips and glanced up shyly at Jack. Jack smiled and lifted Ianto's hand up to his face. He threw Ianto a cheeky grin as he started sucking on the tip of his index finger.

"Jack! I haven't washed my hands after handling the rabbits!" scolded Ianto.

"Don't care." muttered Jack around the finger. Ianto chuckled, then gulped as Jack took in two fingers. Jack could see a dull flush spreading through Ianto's cheeks as he licked the palm and gently nipped at the soft skin of the wrist. Ianto groaned.

"Jack…"

Jack reached out with his other hand and curled it around the back of Ianto's neck. He paused for a moment, then pulled him closer and pressed his lips against Ianto's. Ianto sighed and his hand came up to cup Jack's jaw. His tongue dragged over Jack's lips and Jack immediately parted them, allowing Ianto to tickle the roof of his mouth. Ianto's hand slid down to Jack's waist, while Jack's moved from Ianto's neck to his chest, brushing over his heart, and then across the expanse. Through the thin t-shirt he could feel the soft chest hairs folded down, all but begging him to run his fingers through them. He tugged Ianto closer, pushing his own tongue into Ianto's mouth as his fingers tugged at his t-shirt, pulling it up to expose his stomach and chest. Ianto groaned as Jack ran his fingers through the soft short hairs covering his torso. Jack pulled back and pulled the t-shirt over Ianto's head,

"God I've missed this."

"Me too." sighed Ianto, still seeming a little hesitant. Jack pulled him closer and Señor gave a violent twitch at getting caught between them, before scrambling loose and butting Bart off the bed, as if to spare him from the sight of the two men pressing closer. There was a soft thump and then a much louder one as Señor followed his companion. Ianto and Jack chuckled as Ianto helped Jack out of his shirt and t-shirt. They pressed their chests together tight, sitting up as they did and held each other for a moment, enjoying the sensation of skin on skin. Ianto pressed his face into Jack's caramel coloured shoulder and nuzzled the skin for a moment, enjoying the scent of Jack's pheromones. Jack sighed into Ianto's hair and then started kissing and licking along his neck. Ianto moaned softly, tilting his head back as Jack nipped at the jugular vein. He gasped and bit at Jack's mouth, tugging on his lower lip as his hands moved down the smooth expanse of his back and then to the front, where he ran his hands over the utterly hairless chest. Jack grunted and his stomach muscles twitched as Ianto skimmed them. Ianto grinned into Jack's shoulder. He'd forgotten Jack was ticklish there. He pressed his hand flat on Jack's stomach, worked the fingers of his other hand into Jack's hair and made Jack look him straight in the eyes.

Jack swallowed at the dark colour Ianto's eyes had turned and that familiar intense expression he got in bed. It never failed to arouse Jack, and as Ianto deliberately moved his hand achingly slowly downwards to the waistband of his trousers, he trembled with excitement, his breath hot on Ianto's lips.

Ianto palmed Jack's crotch and began to rub in very slow, deliberate circles. His eyes did not move from Jack's, pinning Jack into motionless. All but one part of him, which was growing, hardening, and was quickly overwhelming him. It had been too long for Jack.

"Ianto!" he gasped, reaching with his lips for Ianto's mouth. Ianto allowed a brief kiss before pulling back and pressing the side of his face against Jack's, his breath hot and quick against Jack's ear. His hand was still making those slow, torturous circles on his crotch and Jack's hips tried to buck. But he was not sitting in the right position to do it right and Ianto was able to still him with a gentle press of his hand. His other hand moved from Jack's hair and the arm encircled his shoulders, holding him still as Ianto bit at his earlobe. Jack's hands grabbed at Ianto's shoulder-blades and he groaned louder. Ianto chuckled and Jack's hands took on a life of their own. They started roaming Ianto's back, moving down to his arse and squeezing. Ianto's breath hitched in his ear. Jack grinned, glad to see he wasn't the only one who was horny, and moved his hands over Ianto's hips and to his –

"What the hell?"

Jack pulled back and glanced down. Ianto swore, "Fuck." Jack felt like screaming.

"Goddamnit Ianto! You said I wasn't like those other guys!"

"Jack, wait-"

"You said that, but now look, you're not even a little hard. What the hell are you playing at?" demanded Jack. He felt angry, he felt upset. Moreover, he felt reviled at the idea that Ianto hadn't wanted this.

"Jack, listen to me. It's not you. It's me. I mean it's really me." said Ianto, pulling Jack back with firm hands.

"But you said-"

"I know what I said. And I wasn't lying. But that was years ago. That was then. This is different. Jack, I can't even do it myself. I couldn't with 'kaela. No matter what I try, I can't do it!"

Jack frowned, staring at Ianto's face, trying to see if he was being lied to. But Ianto looked so humiliated, it was hard to fathom that he would lie about something like this.

"So you… for how long?"

"I think since… since we… since I… y'know." Ianto looked embarrassed and ashamed. Jack realised what he was talking about.

"Oh… Jesus that's a while."

"You think?" sneered Ianto, looking irritated, then his anger faded. "Sorry. I'm just… it's frustrating. In every sense of the word."

"Why do you think this is happening?" asked Jack, his own upset disappearing. Now he felt nothing but sympathy for his lover.

"I don't know! If I did I'd… I'd be able to do something about it. Christ, I don't need this on top of everything else."

Jack put his arms around Ianto and pulled him closer again. He shifted them both so they were lying back against the headboard. They were quiet for a short time, while Jack rubbed his thumb over Ianto's arm in a soothing motion. Then he asked in a quiet tone,

"Ianto… you do know I forgive you for what happened that night, don't you? I mean, it was as much my fault as yours but… you know I've forgiven you, yeah?"

Ianto nodded. "If you hadn't I can't see you being here right now. I still feel bad about it, but I know you forgive me."

"Do you forgive me?" Jack was a little unsure what the answer would be.

"… Yes." Ianto answered after what seemed to be a moment's consideration.

"Ok. So… it's not that." said Jack, musing to himself. "Are you scared about us having sex again?"

Ianto shook his head. "That's probably the one place I've never felt afraid with you."

Jack wasn't sure how to take that. "One place?"

"I mean… when I started working in the Hub. I was scared out of my mind about getting caught, about what you'd do if you found out, but… when we were in bed I knew I could trust you. I still don't know why. It freaked me out that I even fancied you."

Jack grinned and opened his mouth but Ianto cut him off, "Make one quip about being irresistible and you're on the couch."

Jack snapped his mouth shut for a moment. Then he said, "Can you think of anything else?"

Ianto shifted, resting his head on Jack's chest, sighing to himself. "Well… maybe one thing, but I dunno…"

"Go on."

"Something Michaela said, I can't get it out of my mind."

"Yeah?"

"She said I keep using sex for all the wrong things… to fix things, to ignore things… I think she's right."

"But you're not trying to do that now."

"No… I don't think so."

"You don't think so?"

"I'm not sure of my own motives anymore. Of my own judgement."

"Well… maybe that's the problem. You're not sure you want this."

"I do! I know I do!"

"I'm not talking about… you and me spending time together. I mean having sex. Maybe your mind is finally taking a stand against your impulses to push away problems with sex. You've spent years punishing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. And now… so much has happened, it's no surprise that you're not sure what you want."

Ianto swallowed and lifted his head to look at Jack. "Do you want to?"

"Of course. You're too good to give up. In bed and in life." said Jack grinning at him and passing his thumb over his cheek. Ianto smiled a little, then said quietly,

"We still could… you know. I mean, you could still… I don't mind."

"No. No way. I am many things, but I would never have sex with someone who isn't ready for it. And you're clearly not. And that's ok. I can handle that, so long as I know that when you are ready… it'll still be me you want."

Ianto looked down and rested his head on Jack's chest again, one of his fingers drawing random designs on his stomach. Then he said in a voice so quiet Jack almost missed it, "I don't think I'll ever want someone the way I want you."

Jack grinned, ignoring the slight flutter of alarm at such a declaration. For someone like Ianto, it was like a declaration of love. Scary, real and all too fleeting for immortal Jack.

Jack reached out and entwined his fingers with Ianto's, resting their joined hands on his chest. They lay quietly for a while, but Jack knew Ianto was still awake, even an hour later.

"Are you gonna sleep?" he asked softly. Ianto shook his head.

"Can't."

"Then why don't you tell me something?"

"Like what?"

"Well… I've told you plenty of stories about my sex life… tell me about yours… I mean, well, tell me about when you enjoyed it for the first time." Jack needed to hear a good story from Ianto about sex. It had been so much depression, it was a wonder Ianto hadn't been committed.

"First time…" sighed Ianto, resting his chin on Jack's sternum, his eyes gaining a faraway look that Jack always associated with reminiscing. "Well… I guess it was… God, I'm not sure."

"Oh come on Ianto, there has to be at least one good time."

"Oh, no, that's not what I mean. It's just… I know with Lisa, even when I was really nervous, it was great. But… saying it wasn't good with Michaela feels like I'm… ignoring her, or not being fair to her. I know with Michaela it was good… but I just… can't quite remember it properly."

"Ianto you have a photographic memory, if you can't remember it, it probably didn't happen."

"But… no, it was good eventually." Ianto sat up, furrowing his brow. "It was… hard at first. I was so awkward, and so uncomfortable… and she was just plain terrified-"

"That's not too unusual for 21st century teens in their first time."

"Oh no, I wasn't her… well I was sorta, but –no, it's complicated."

"That whole bath thing again?"

"Yeah. See… gah, I can't explain. It's her secret."

"Ianto, may I guess?"

Ianto hesitated, then nodded, looking anxious.

"Was Michaela raped as a teen?"

Ianto nodded. Jack sucked in a breath. Many things made sense with that realisation. Including her blind spot for Ianto.

"Was it once?"

Ianto shook his head, shuddering. Jack nodded, "Ok… well then, yeah, I'm not surprised she was scared."

"No, like I got why… but that didn't make it any easier."

"But it did get good?" Dear God, now Jack wanted it to have been good, for both of them. For these two youths to have tried to get through their first consensual sexual experience… it actually made Jack's heart give a painful thump. Ianto narrowed his eyes to slits as he thought, then his face cleared,

"I remember now. It did get good. But it took a lot of times to get right. But, I could never get her to… she wouldn't let me try."

"She wouldn't let you make her climax?" Jack was astonished. That just didn't make sense.

"No. She couldn't when we were having sex, and if I slowed down or tried to touch her, she'd pull this face and move my hands back to where they'd been. And we never had foreplay, ever. I barely knew what it was like to do it until Lisa. It was almost like… I don't know, like Michaela just wanted it all over and done with. Which was weird, because we got really good about kissing and holding each other out of bed. She'd cuddle into me when we watched TV, kiss me when we were messing about, but the second we got into the bedroom it all stopped. She just couldn't bring the fun with her into bed, and I didn't know how because I was afraid of upsetting her by pressing her too much."

This concerned Jack. That kind of behaviour was not that of someone who was stable. Was Michaela really capable of doing the job they needed her to do? But, Jack reminded himself, she'd been more than happy to go along with him whatever he said or did. Jack then considered his own memories. She'd done everything he'd suggested but hadn't taken any initiative. He'd enjoyed it at the time, but now he felt a little bad.

"Ianto… do you… you know I took advantage of her?"

"… I do now."

Jack winced, "Well… you know I'm useless about other people's feelings. She was cute and she was… well, easy."

"Easy? Michaela?" Ianto looked livid. Jack wondered why he'd been dumb enough to bring it up.

"She was lonely."

"Yeah, so lonely she fell in love with you?"

Jack blinked at Ianto, "… What?"

"She's in love with you Jack. That's why I snapped. I knew she loves you and I didn't like it. It wasn't that you were kissing her that pissed me off that night, it was the fact that I know how she feels about you and I was fucking jealous."

"But why?"

"Because I'd gotten used to her loving only me."

"So… basically we've both screwed up where that woman is concerned."

"Pretty much."

"Wonderful."

They sat in another, long silence, except this one was more awkward. Ianto sighed,

"Did she look at you?"

"Huh?"

"Michaela. Did she look at you when you fucked her?"

Jack was surprised at the defeated tone, "Yes, she did."

"She never looked at me. Not once. The first time… I pulled away 'cause I thought she was upset, but she pulled me back, and kept saying 'It's ok. It's ok.' But she still didn't look at me."

"She was scared."

"She wasn't scared with you."

"You were the first, I got to ride on your efforts."

Ianto raised his eyebrows and Jack grimaced, "Bad choice of words."

Ianto snorted and shook his head, but he smiled a little. "Maybe it's just you. You got through to me, and you got through to her. Maybe you're just the right guy to help people like us."

Jack wasn't sure he liked that distinction. Ianto was labelling himself as a victim. But what Ianto said next floored him before he could protest, "Maybe that's why you're so easy to love."

Jack gaped at Ianto, who'd become very interested in his hands. But rather than the panic that he usually felt at such a dangerous comment, all Jack felt was honour. Honour that someone who'd been through as much as Ianto could even suggest that he loved him. He swallowed and then croaked from a dry throat,

"And why are you?"

Ianto flushed, but he looked up at Jack and smiled. "Because you're bonkers."

Jack laughed and pulled Ianto to him again, kissing him hard and nuzzling his nose. Ianto sighed and relaxed against Jack again, throwing a leg over his two and settling down. Jack buried his face into Ianto's hair and grinned.

* * *

Probably not what some were hoping for, but I hope that you all enjoyed it. And if you really want some Janto fluff then perhaps you could take a look at "A Parallelogram of Drabbles". This is a series of drabbles which I wrote, some are based of future plans for this fic and it's sequel, but others were for fun and there are a few Janto ones.

Night's Darkness


	48. Chapter 44

I'm not sure how, but I've managed to get five chapters done in three days… I have no idea how that happened. And they're long ones. I also reached page 300 and sailed past it. But this means that the trial is wholly done, so, it'll be posted every two to three days. Since none of it's beta-ed, there may be a few whopper mistakes. So apologies.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 4****4**

_(4__th__ November 2008)_

Ten days. There were only ten more days before they had to stand before a group of UNIT generals and rest their lives on the slim shoulders of Michaela. Who Jack hadn't heard from since she'd told him the date for the trial. He'd called once or twice, but she never answered. He was a little worried that something was wrong. But Archie would have warned them if she was ill. He reasoned that she was just avoiding any calls from Cardiff because Ianto kept trying to reach her, using every phone from his own mobile to a pay phone.

"Maybe you should leave her alone for a while." suggested Jack gently as Ianto threw Owen's phone across the room in frustration.

"I can't! I just can't." snapped Ianto, pink-cheeked and frustrated.

"Ianto, just let her alone until after the trial. You run the risk of distracting her from her job."

"I…" Ianto sighed and hung his head. Jack rested his hands on Ianto's shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. Ianto relaxed into his grip and smiled a little as Jack pressed his lips to Ianto's neck. "Ok… I guess I could give it a rest. It's not working anyway."

"You could be making it worse. Didn't she break it off because you were too dependent on her?"

"I guess…"

"C'mon, just forget about her for a while."

Ianto sighed, closed his eyes and then handed Jack his phone. "So I don't call her again."

"Good." Jack put the phone in his pocket. He didn't let Ianto go straight away, sliding his hands around Ianto's middle, and resting his chin on Ianto's shoulder. "How're you and Owen anyway? I've noticed you're getting on better now."

"Pretty good. We… we went to Mam's grave a while ago. I think it helped. Owen doesn't seem to hate her any more."

"That's good."

"We went back, cleaned it up properly last weekend. It… it was nice."

Jack smiled into Ianto's shoulder, pride brewing at Owen's ability to finally let his anger go. Maybe someday he'd be able to let go of the anger over Katie's death and see just how good Tosh was.

"Jack!" Gwen came striding in, having the grace to look embarrassed when she saw the way the two men were standing, "Sorry."

"It's ok." said Jack, letting Ianto go. "What is it Gwen?"

"I was wondering… Could I bring Rhys with me to London?"

Jack's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Rhys?"

"Yeah. I mean, he doesn't have to come into the trial, I know that's confidential-" Ianto's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "-but I'd really like to have him with me between the court times. I mean… I know you and Ianto have each other. And Tosh and Owen seem to be getting closer. And I don't…" Gwen swallowed hard, nibbling her lower lip before saying, "If we don't get off, I'd like to spend as much time as I can with him. And if we do… he's the one I want to celebrate with."

Jack glanced at Ianto, as if seeking his opinion. Ianto shrugged almost imperceptibly. Jack pursed his lips, then sighed and nodded. "Ok. You can bring him with us, but he isn't to be exposed to anything confidential."

Gwen smiled and nodded, "Got it. Thanks Jack." That said she spun on her heels and strode out the door. Ianto glanced at Jack, looking a little alarmed.

"Did someone remove part of her mind?"

Jack rolled his eyes, "Maybe she's just learned something from this whole thing, like I have."

"Oh? What have you learned?" smiled Ianto, following Jack to his desk and perched next to Jack as he sat down in his chair. Jack linked his fingers and leaned back in his chair, smiling at Ianto thoughtfully.

"I have learned… that I should never have allowed Gwen favouritism over the rest of you. That was a mistake on my part as a leader. I was blinded by rose-tinted glasses when I looked at her, it led to mistakes. I won't do that anymore. I never gave you any favouritism, and you're the one I'm… well." Jack shrugged. Ianto nodded, smiling a little,

"That about sums it up."

"I also think… maybe I'm not meant to be a leader. No, no!" he said, holding up a hand when Ianto opened his mouth, "I mean it. I'm not designed to be a leader, if there was one thing I realised when I was away, it was that I'm much happier following. But that's my own problem. The fact remains that I am a leader, I'm this team's leader and I have to just accept that. I've always fought it in some ways, not telling you everything when you needed to, or not acting quick enough to protect you."

"You can't protect us from everything. We have to suffer a bit to remind ourselves of the danger."

"Yes, but there is a limit and I have to remember that." said Jack. "I didn't like hearing all the things I've done wrong when I was interviewed."

"It wasn't fun for anyone."

"True. But maybe that wasn't all bad. We're all very uncomfortable with dealing with our problems, and that blew up in our faces."

"We're people, we have secrets, we can't change that. Anyone who's completely open has something else wrong with them. Probably attention seeking, but anyway, there's a balance to everything."

"Yeah. And when are we gonna reach it?" asked Jack a little sharper than he meant to. Ianto flinched and then blushed. Jack realised at once what he was thinking. "I wasn't talking about that Ianto. I was-"

"Even if you weren't, I can't help but think about it." said Ianto, glancing down. "It's humiliating. I don't feel like a whole man anymore." He narrowed his eyes and snorted, "Do you think it's healthy that my brain is supplying what Owen would say if he found out if things had stayed the same?"

"Probably not." said Jack smiling a little. He rested his hand on Ianto's knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "And trust me, I've learned enough to know being a man has very little to do with be able to-"

"Tell me that when you have this problem." said Ianto firmly. Jack backed up a little, understanding how touchy this subject was for Ianto.

"What problem?" asked Owen as he came in, files in hand. "Please tell me it's a broken nail Ianto, and nothing more."

Ianto closed his eyes, his back to his brother and Jack decided to help me,

"His problem is I keep trying to get his kit off. Maybe you shouldn't be here, unless of course you're interes-"

"Never in a million years Harkness!" Owen bellowed as he bolted from the office, actually dropping his file as he went. Jack let out a bark of laughter, which became a yelp of pain when Ianto smacked him upside the head.

"Ow! You're making a habit of that."

"If it worked on Owen, it'll work on you." said Ianto, straightening up and moving to pick up the file. Jack tilted his head to the side to admire the view, not bothering to look away when Ianto turned around to dump the file on his desk.

"You gonna try hitting the Weevils with files to keep them under control next?"

"Weevil spray is loosing it's power, maybe I will. Then again, I might just teach them how to file and let them run the Archives. Myfanwy can be their supervisor, as she doesn't have any thumbs."

"Promotional discrimination is not allowed under my rule!"

"What are you, a despot?"

"Oooh… I could make you wear leather all over… and I could make the girls wear bikinis." Jack grinned at the image and was amused to see Ianto's eyes glaze over at the mention of the girls in bikinis. No matter what Owen would insinuate, Ianto was still as much a ladies man as much as a man's man. "Tosh or Gwen?"

"… Gwen." admitted Ianto, looking shy. "Tosh would look amazing in an old fashioned dress."

"With a corset?"

"Yeah…"

"Who's wearing a corset?" asked Tosh as she came in with files of her own. Ianto went scarlet and fled the office before Jack could even grin. "Jack?"

"Ianto thinks you'd look gorgeous in an old fashioned corset dress."

Tosh smiled, her cheeks going pink. "Well… I bet he'd look good in a biker outfit."

Jack's eyebrows shot up in intrigue. Then he gave a slow, wide grin and said, "Great minds think alike Tosh… I was just suggesting something similar."

Tosh grinned. "Maybe if he grew his hair out…"

Jack snorted, "Good luck, I can't even get him to keep it at his neck."

Tosh laughed and said, "Maybe we should have celebrated Halloween this year."

"Oh, damn! Off by four days."

"Next year then?" asked Tosh, although a shadow came into her eyes.

"Next year." said Jack firmly. Tosh gave him a small smile and turned to go, "Hey!" Tosh turned back, "File?"

"Oh, right." Tosh gave a soft laugh and handed him the file.

"Oh Tosh?"

"Yes?"

"How was your date with Owen?"

"He yelled at the waiter for getting my order wrong."

"So… pretty good."

Tosh's smile widened, "Yes… yes it was actually."

Jack winked at her and opened her file to start reading. Tosh's shoes clacked on the metal floors as she walked away.

~*~

_(13__th__ November 2008)_

"Have you packed yet?"

"Yes mother. I've remembered to pack my undies and my toothbrush. Do you want to double check for me?"

Ianto narrowed his eyes at Owen as he leaned on the doorframe of Owen's bedroom, watching Owen click his suitcase shut. Owen straightened up, taking hold of the handle and turning to face Ianto. He was standing casually against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest and his face blank. Owen sighed, "Nervous?"

Ianto blinked. "Terrified."

"Hey, come on, we'll be fine, isn't that what you said. If you have faith in that… if you have faith in her then I can pretend to have faith in her."

"I do have faith in her… but I don't have faith in UNIT."

"Hey, come on, they can't be that bad. They're military assholes, but aren't they meant to have some kind of honour-code."

Ianto raised an eyebrow, "You're not that naïve Owen."

Owen sighed, "You're right I'm not."

"Come on. Jack's waiting downstairs with Tosh."

"What about Gwen?"

"She and Rhys are taking their own car. Quality time and all."

"Is Jack driving?"

"Yes."

"Crap, that sticks me in the back, doesn't it."

Ianto smirked, "Quality time and all." He turned around and moved through Owen's flat, followed by his brother as Owen switched everything off and then locked the door.

"We're meeting Two's duo down there?"

"Yeah, although it'll probably be the trio. I doubt Michaela will leave her dog behind."

Owen had an image of a tiny rat-like Chihuahua in a hand bag growling at everyone and shuddered. Bloody thing would have to keep it's humping to itself.

~*~

The Queen Katharine Hotel was one of the swishiest hotels in London. Its exterior had the refined conservation of Hampton Court Palace after it's renovations by the 'elected' King William I and Queen Mary II of England. The irony of this was not lost on Ianto as he admired the long uniform windows that reduced in size with each floor. The walls were covered with red brick, the windows outlined with white plaster sculpted into delicate images of flowers. Everything about this hotel's exterior was Protestant reform, and yet it was named for the deeply Catholic Queen Katharine, whose daughter was known as Bloody Mary for her burning of Protestants. The other irony was to be found inside. If the exterior was restrained in its glamour, the interior was let loose. White marble floors with pink granite additions gleamed under crystal chandeliers, which hung from gold-leaf covered hangings. Cherubs made of gold-plate held glass torches to fill the room with light and heavy red and cream curtains were pulled back from the windows, revealing the gardens, which were a sight on their own.

Technically the hotel was outside the city, it's grounds with their elaborately designed hedges and fountains were just too large. Nevertheless, it was neutral ground and right now that was all that mattered.

"Jack, why have we never come here before?" asked Gwen loudly as they entered the grand foyer.

"Because it's a place you only come when things are either going wrong or a big meeting is being held." said Jack as he glanced around. There wasn't a single UNIT uniform in sight. This was not a comforting thought. Jack liked to be able to see his enemy. He knew there would be seven generals to decide on the results, but surely UNIT had sent men in to scour the area for threats.

"Ah, Captain Harkness, welcome." said the manager, who Jack had always found to be very good about keeping secrets. He should though, the man was from another galaxy who'd convinced UNIT and Torchwood he was a good choice to maintain the neutrality of the hotel. Jack had never been able to remember his name. "And your team." said the man, bowing a little to them. "Allow my staff to take your luggage upstairs to your rooms, and you may relax a little. I have been informed by Mr. McGregor that he and his second in command will be arriving very soon. They got stuck in traffic just at the boarder."

"They're never driving, are they? It was bad enough we had to." said Rhys incredulously.

"Torchwood Two all hate flying." said Ianto.

"All?" asked Jack.

"Dubhtach included."

"Ah."

"Whose Dubhtach?" asked Rhys, "Funny sort of name."

"She's a dog."

"Oh… never mind then. Better than Fluffy, eh?"

Ianto thought of his own rabbits, left with enough food to last three or four days and extra hay, and said nothing. Although he did scratch at the thin red line on his hand. Bart had realised Ianto was going for a few days and had not been best pleased. Señor had needed an extra hug.

"Shall we all get a drink?" suggested Owen, "Open bar as I understand it."

"Ok, but no one get drunk. I mean it."

"No fear boss. If we go down, I'd like some dignity when I do it." said Owen, resting his hand on the small of Tosh's back and steering her forward. Tosh was smiling, momentarily distracted from her woes by Owen's open, if discreet affection. Jack nodded,

"This way."

The tea room really did look like it should only serve tea and cake. Which it did, much to Rhys delight as he found a cream puff and proceeded to devour it. But it also had the strong stuff and so Jack, Ianto and Owen nursed scotch, while Gwen had a Gin and Tonic and Tosh had Long Island Iced Tea. If things hadn't been so tense it would have been like a holiday. Which Jack decided they would all get after the trial.

"So… any sign of the opposition?" asked Rhys, peering around. Jack shook his head.

"No. Which I don't like."

"Trial's not till tomorrow, they could be in the city." suggested Gwen, cuddled up to Rhys' side. Jack shook his head.

"If they are, it's to make us nervous, not for their own comfort."

"Then don't let them make us nervous." said Ianto, taking a deep drink from his scotch as he said this. Owen grunted in agreement.

About an hour later, the manager came bustling in and said to Jack in a cheery voice,

"Mr. McGregor and Ms. Murphy have arrived. They're just parking now. They should be with you in about ten minutes."

"Thanks."

Ianto watched the manager leave, then turned to Jack. "You're right. His human hologram is convincing."

Rhys choked on his drink, "That bloke's an alien?" he sputtered.

"Rhys, this place isn't used just for Torchwood and UNIT stuff." said Jack sharply, keeping his voice low.

"Sorry." Rhys lowered his voice, "But seriously, is he an alien?"

"Yes he is. He's a long lived species, so he's a good choice for neutrality. He remembers everything that goes on. He's been here for about sixty years."

Rhys whistled, and when the manager showed some other guests into the tea room he stared hard at him, trying to see under the holographic skin.

"Jesus Christ what is that thing?" gasped Owen, eyes widening as they stared at the tea room entrance. Everyone turned their heads to see.

It was Archie and Michaela. And… either a very big dog or a very small horse. Jack wasn't sure. It was shaggy, with stone coloured fur and a pink tongue which hung out of its mouth cheerfully. It walked by Michaela's side, without a leash or anything and seemed perfectly happy to remain that way.

Archie had shrunk since Jack had last seen him. And he'd aged, aged badly. His skin was wrinkled, yellowing a little, his hair was thin and grey, and his small beer belly seemed to have collapsed like an old balloon. But his eyes were still sharp and his gait still strong and he was still tall.

"Jack." he greeted warmly, holding out his hand. Jack rose to take it and gave a small smile.

"Archie."

"Sorry we're late. Bloody traffic's shit." said Archie, his accent oh so wholly Scottish, it was almost too strong. But it warmed Jack to hear it, much the way Gwen and Ianto's Welsh accents did. "And this 'ere's your team." Archie looked from one to the other, and Jack knew that although Archie barely seemed to take note, Archie was studying each one of them.

"Yes. This is Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper, Owen Harper, and of course, you know Ianto Jones."

"Hello Lad." said Archie in a much warmer tone, his face softening as he looked at Ianto.

"Hello Archie." said Ianto quietly, offering up a fond smile to the older man.

"You ever get that bloody Babbage machine working."

"Not yet. I haven't had much time lately." Ianto caught Jack's eye and shook his head. He'd explain later.

"Who's this lad?" asked Archie, jerking his head at Rhys.

"Rhys Williams. Gwen's fiancé. He's here for emotional support."

"Aye… well now, you're aware that he's not allowed in the actual court room."

Jack nodded, "We know."

"Good. Then I see no harm in him being here."

Archie pushed a cushioned chair around a little and dropped into it with a satisfied groan.

"Ah, heavenly. Those SUV's are just not comfy all the way from Glasgow. Still, not like I can complain. Lass here drove all the way." He pointed with his thumb at Michaela, who'd yet to make a sound and was still standing. Jack looked at her and was shocked at the change that had come over her.

Like Archie, she looked older, and thin, like she'd not eaten well for days. Her once cute cheeks were sunken and she looked drained, tired. She also wore this strange, almost blank, expression on her face as she stared at nothing. As Archie pointed at her, her head snapped up like she'd been shocked by his words and she nodded, eyes fixed somewhere between Jack and Ianto. Archie seemed to wait for her to speak and when she didn't, said,

"So, would ye all like to rest up first, or go over the plan of defence now?"

"Well… what do you think Michaela?" Jack fancied she'd want a nap if she'd driven all the way from Glasgow. It was at least 7 hours if you didn't stop.

Michaela raised an eyebrow at the spot she was still staring at and shrugged,

"I don't really care. Either way it'll get done."

Her voice was soft, and a little hoarse. At her side, Dubhtach sat back on her haunches and stared up at her mistress mournfully. Jack glanced at Archie, who discreetly gestured upwards.

"Why don't we all get some rest and then we can talk about it over dinner."

"General Bambera said she needs a word with me during dinner, so it'll have to be before."

"What does the General want?" asked Archie sounding indignant.

"An exchange of information pertaining to several items we have that UNIT scientists think they have other parts of."

"That can fucking wait Micka bec-"

"Michaela!" snapped Michaela, her eyes snapping to Archie, who looked a little hurt, but then continued,

"Michaela, that can wait."

"If I say no, then the General will not be pleased. How about we don't piss these guys off if we can avoid it?" said Michaela bitingly. Archie sighed like a snorting bull, but nodded.

"Fine. But that still doesn't determine when-"

"Let's just get it done now. That way if I have to make any changes I have more time." she said, cutting Archie off and looking at Jack. Or rather, his chin. Jack couldn't understand what he was seeing. A month and a half had gone by, but this Michaela he did not recognise. She was not the cute little woman he'd met here years ago. "Captain?"

"Uh… right, ok. Let's do this."

Michaela sat in the cushioned seat next to Jack and set a briefcase on her knee. It complimented the suit she was wearing. But the suit itself just showed how much weight she seemed to have lost. She opened the briefcase and took out a file, handing it to Jack, and then taking another out and setting the briefcase down. As she did she said,

"Dubhtach, lie down."

The dog immediately obeyed, stretching herself in front of Michaela's feet. Archie rubbed at his nose and settled back down, as if preparing for a nap. Everyone else was watching Michaela carefully.

"Right, the basic defence is that even though you've made mistakes, you're the best we could ask for to defend the Rift because…"

~*~

"Ianto, I can hear you thinking!"

Ianto sighed, burying his face into the pillow before rolling over and meeting Jack's open eyes. They were in bed, it was three in the morning and in six hours they would be beginning a trial to decide their lives. And yet… all Ianto could think about was his friend.

Jack ran his hand over Ianto's bare arm. "Michaela?" he asked softly, knowingly.

"She looked so ill Jack."

"I know. Maybe she caught a virus or something. She didn't sound too well when she called me to tell me about the date for the trial."

Ianto did not believe him, and knew Jack didn't believe himself either.

"This is my fault I bet." he mumbled, "Because of what I said to her."

"Or maybe she's just stressed. We are relying on her pretty heavily. I bet you the minute we get off, she'll be devouring everything in sight."

"You think so?" Ianto dearly wanted to believe that everything would be fine and good after the trial. Did they not deserve it to be?

"I'm sure of it." Jack squeezed Ianto's hand and then said, "You weren't kidding about her dog. I thought it was a Shetland pony they'd brought!"

Ianto chuckled. "Just wait till you see what she can do. All sorts of tricks."

"Yeah? Well I would dearly love to see her next to Bart. He's no bigger than her paw."

Ianto chuckled, settling into the pillow again. "That's a great image."

"Well maybe we'll get to see it. Why don't we invite Archie and Michaela to spend some time in Cardiff? Reassert bonds between Two and Three."

"Sounds good."

"If nothing else it'll be entertaining. Archie's not the most diplomatic person and he's… got a few odd habits that-"

"Jack I spent almost a year with Archie as well as Michaela, I'm well aware of his oddities."

"Ah, right. I forgot."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "He's a good man though. I mean he… he got me more presents for one Christmas than any of my previous Christmases combine since Mam died."

Jack smiled at the idea. He was grateful to Archie for taking care of Ianto. He had a suspicion that Archie was as much responsible for the great man Ianto really was as Michaela was.

"What he buy you?"

"A paint gun. And a phone, never had one before. Saved my life when I O.D'd."

Jack's head lifted up sharply. "O.D'd? When? How?"

"New Years Eve after that same Christmas. I did something stupid, thought I was alone again and took some random pills off a guy. Managed to call Michaela and she got me to a hospital."

Jack sighed and pulled Ianto to him. He wasn't sure he could handle one more story from Ianto about the crap that had happened to him. It was just one disaster after another and right now Jack needed to be positive.

~*~

Shadows were long in the moonlight that was shining through the paned windows, turning cherubs into demons. The room was laid with tables and chairs, in preparation for the morning's trial. There was no sound, no stirring of anything, with a crystal clear night leaving the perfectly trimmed bushes and hedges outside undisturbed.

Then, the door to the courtroom opened a crack, allowing a shaft of light to cut inside. The light was blocked, revealed again and then cut off as someone entered the room and shut the door. The figure's head turned from one side to another as they scanned the room. A box was clasped in their hands as they made their way forwards, their steps muffled on the wood. They walked until they reached halfway between the tables that the defence and prosecutor would sit and the judges would sit. The figure knelt down on the floor and opened the box.

There was a soft laser-sound, the creak of moving wood, then a soft clunk of something being dropped. Then another creak of wood, a laser sound and the figure, now without the box, rose to their feet. The figure's eyes roamed over the demonic cherubs who watched them accusingly, and then they jumped as if they heard something. When nothing came of the suspicion, the figure moved to the door and slunk out, leaving the moonlight and the golden cherubs as the only witness to their actions.

* * *

I'm not too happy with that last piece, but I couldn't think of a better way to write it. Next piece will actually be soon! No more than three days, I promise!

Night's Darkness


	49. Chapter 45

Despite my sudden splurge of writing luck, otherwise my week has been rather lousy because of a sudden build up of college work. (Yes in truth it's my own fault, but that hasn't stopped my week being lousy.) In any case, enjoy what I hope is a relatively good trial format and what not.

Is there a warning for dialogue heavy chapters?

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 45**

_(14__th__ November 2008)_

Jack found himself taking more care than usual with his dressing that morning. He'd debated heavily over what he would actually wear, if he should go in something more appropriate or in his own clothes. He didn't want UNIT to think they'd gotten to him, and he didn't want the others to think he was worried, so he'd settled on his usual clothes. They were new, but they were his usual style, and he'd polished his boots. Now he was checking his greatcoat for threads.

"Leave it Jack. It's fine." said Ianto, who was himself fussing with his tie. Jack dropped his hands and squared his shoulders, pulling his best 'hero' pose, then grimacing at himself. In UNIT's eyes, he'd look like a twat standing like that. Hell, even he could admit he was only missing a Bat-belt.

"Ok, we ready?"

Jack glanced to the side of the mirror, so he could see Ianto over his shoulder. Ianto looked like he was getting ready for a funeral. It was far too sombre for Jack, who'd gotten used to Ianto's clever colourful additions to his suit. But Jack wouldn't say anything against the professional, collected choice. He nodded,

"Yeah, we're ready."

"Ok, Owen and the others will meet us in the Foyer. Let's get this started so it can end."

Jack nodded, turned and clapped his hand on Ianto's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Let's go."

They made their way down to the Foyer. They'd expected to be the first down there, but were surprised to find Michaela and Archie waiting for them. Archie had been squeezed into a suit, rather like Ianto's and he was fidgeting with his tie. The waistband of his trousers was cutting into his stomach, making him look a little like two linked sausages. He was also talking with Michaela rather heatedly it seemed. She was in another suit, her briefcase in hand and a livid expression on her face as she hissed something at Archie. It looked… just plain wrong. The clothes were wrong, her expression was wrong, everything about her was just wrong now.

However, when they saw Jack and Ianto, Michaela's face went slack and blank and she stared at them like she was judging their every move. Archie gave them a bracing smile and greeted them warmly enough.

"The Generals are all here and the UNIT soldiers are just giving the place a once over." said Michaela coolly.

"God forbid they all get blow to bits by someone who has a grudge against them, even though they spend most of their time on their arses." said Archie. Jack and Ianto both chuckled, but Michaela gave Archie a dark look. She pushed a lock of hair out of her face and behind her ear returning it to the elegant bun she'd put the rest of her hair in.

"Where are the rest of the team?" she asked Jack.

"They'll be down soon."

"Good. It would be good to show a unity of Torchwood before the trial begins rather than the two heads, the defence and a single employee waiting around."

"They'll be down in a minute." said Jack sharply. Michaela stared at him, and Jack found he did not like what he saw in her eyes. They were bitter and angry, and Jack could almost feel the repression as he stared into them. Thankfully Michaela looked away and stared at nothing like she had yesterday.

Ianto shifted next Jack, then said, "So… we'll listen to the prosecution and then our defence will come up?"

Jack saw Michaela flinch as Ianto began to speak, but she answered him anyway, "Yes. We're lucky that anything not put in the Review cannot be used against you."

"The Review has all our indiscretions in it. What could they possibly find out to add to it?"

Michaela shrugged, "We can't know. Could be anything. Could be Flat Holm."

Jack's eyebrows shot up to meet his brow. Archie and Michaela both fixed him with patronising expressions.

"Did ye really think we didn't know about it?"

"I kept it a secret. Ianto never even figured it out, I told him."

"We made it our business to watch over you Jack. I've been doing it since you took over in 2000 and since Michaela came on board she's done the same." said Archie gently.

"One gave you up as a lost cause and a rebel gang of outcasts because you and Yvonne wouldn't see eye to eye. Two has always played the bridge between One and Three, almost since Torchwood was founded, although usually only every once in a while. But you, Jack, were so secure in your omnipotence as a 51st century man that you ignored Yvonne's contributions in favour of being a jackass and needled her about her mistakes. So we had to step in and play the middle man." said Michaela.

"And when One fell, UNIT replaced it as the one who we had to step between you and them." added Archie, in that same gentle, fatherly tone.

Jack looked between them and he wasn't sure how to take their words. On the one hand, he was grateful, on the other, they'd kept secrets from him.

"You didn't think trying to talk to me would help?"

"Jack… do you remember the last phone conversation we had before all this started up?" asked Archie, raising his eyebrows. Jack thought back, and then nodded. Yes, he could recall it. He'd been aggravated by Archie's pestering and had told him to quit calling him unless it was Rift related… oh.

Jack had the grace to blush.

"Being from the future means fuck all about who you are and what you can do." said Michaela, "Future doesn't mean better. Your ex-comrade John Hart was a perfect example of that, wasn't he?"

Archie coughed, "Now, now. We've made our point. We're all on the same side here. Let's not get bogged down in things like that when we need to focus our energies on proving UNIT wrong."

Michaela nodded, glancing over her shoulder as Tosh and Owen hurried over to join them.

"Sorry, my tights laddered when I put them on, so I had to wrestle into another pair." said Tosh by way of explanation. No one asked why that had made Owen late.

"Gwen and Rhys aren't down yet either."

"Are you sure Mr. Williams will respect the fact that he cannot be involved in the trial?" asked Michaela, "Because considering he figured his own way into this organisation, he seems to have about as much respect for secrecy as his fiancé."

"He's well aware of this." said Jack feeling irritable now. He didn't care what her problem was, he just knew Michaela was going to have to loose the attitude quickly, or he was going to do something that they'd all regret. Michaela narrowed her eyes at him and then closed them, drawing in a deep breath. Then she lowered her shoulders and her expression became milder, and she said,

"Good." in a disconcertingly calm way. Jack felt Ianto stiffen next to him. He squeezed his hand and was relieved as Rhys and Gwen came hurrying over. Jack's sensitive nose could smell the sex on them. They were doing everything they could to make the most of their time. Jack had to admire their determination, and envy their sex drive. Ianto was still unable to rise to the occasion and Jack hated seeing how upset he got each time.

"Well, now that we're all here, we should go into the dining hall and see the judges." said Michaela in that same soft, calm voice. Without waiting for a response, she led them into the dining hall where there were countless people in UNIT uniforms. Jack wondered idly if a single beret would go amiss. Red really was Ianto's colour.

"Ah! Ms. Murphy!" a soldier came over and extended his hand. Michaela put on a bland smile and shook it.

"You must be Lieutenant Connors. The Prosecution."

The whole group tensed up as Lieutenant Connors gave a banal smile of his own. "Indeed I am. Good to meet you."

"And you."

"So, we're all set. Are you?"

"We're more than ready to go."

And they were actually. Despite Jack's concerns, he had to admit Michaela had a pretty good defence. It didn't ignore their mistakes, but it didn't make that all they were. The difficulty would be Michaela had to deliver it right, or else it would fall flat.

"The Generals are some of the highest ranking members of UNIT. I'm sure we can expect nothing but fair deliberations on their part."

"UNIT generals judging Torchwood employees, I'm certain that nothing could be fairer." said Michaela, her voice cold and sharp as ice. Lieutenant Connors smiled slipped a little.

"Well… I'm sure you can expect much fairer results than if the situation were reversed."

Michaela cocked an eyebrow at him, "Are you accusing Torchwood of being preferential?"

Jack opened his mouth, but Archie's arm caught his gut and he stayed quiet as Michaela continued, her voice going silky smooth, "Because that sounds like an accusation of a man who has a personal vendetta against this organisation rather than a vetted interest in justice being done and the Earth being served in the best possible way."

Lieutenant Connors scowled and said in a careful tone, "I assure you I have nothing but pure intentions. I wish for nothing more than justice to be done."

Michaela smiled. It was false, simpering and cold. "I have the utmost confidence in that. And I can give you my assurances that I want nothing less either."

"So we can be confident of a good, clean trial."

"Of course." said Michaela. Lieutenant Connors nodded and moved away from them with a narrow eyed look. Michaela watched him go with distaste before turning to face the team. "He's a dirty fighter. It's why they picked him. They want to fight dirty." Her eyes moved to Ianto, "You'd better hope you've told me every dirty secret this team has or else he could really land a blow."

"You know everything I know." said Ianto quietly.

"Let's hope that's enough."

A man in a dress uniform called Michaela's name and she span on her heels and moved to him at once. Jack rubbed his stomach and glanced at Archie questioningly.

"They were testing each other, feeling each other out. Like lawyers do before they go into a trial. This is no different."

"Ah." Jack nodded in understanding.

"We've to go in now. The trial is about to begin." said Michaela, joining them again. She'd gone pale under her make up.

"Alright then." sighed Archie, glancing at Rhys and Gwen who were embracing tightly. "Michaela have you got a copy of the defence for me?"

"Yeah, it's in my briefcase." said Michaela, lifting it up and resting it on her hip as she reached into it and pulled out a file. As it whipped out, something flew up into the air and clattered to the ground. Michaela gasped softly as Archie took the file from her hand and Ianto crouched to pick up the object. He lifted it up and looked at it. Jack frowned at it as Ianto smiled a little and held it out to Michaela.

"You dropped Donatello."

Michaela flushed and snatched the toy, stuffing it into her briefcase and snapping it closed.

"Let's go." she said, embarrassed as she turned away and led them out of the dining hall and into the courtroom. As they went, Jack glanced at Ianto questioningly. Ianto's smile widened.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." was all he said to explain.

Owen groaned.

"Of all the times to stick that song in my head."

"Could be worse. You could have 'Duck Tales'." said Rhys, squeezing Gwen one last time. He broke away just as Owen groaned again. The joke broke some of the tension and Jack felt Ianto slip his hand into his own, giving it a tight squeeze as they entered the courtroom.

It was sort of a make-shift courtroom, but the basic trappings were there. A stage for the judges to sit on above everyone else, two tables facing the stage for the defence and prosecution. Behind the two tables were dividers for the soldiers and other officials who'd come to witness the trial.

"Torchwood Cardiff?"

Jack turned to see a young solider approaching them.

"Yes." said Michaela, turning to face him.

"I need you to come with me." The soldier gestured to an area of the room which had been sectioned off, with glass all around.

"We're being segregated?" demanded Jack, feeling outraged.

"Well… yes sir. Standard procedure."

"But-"

"Just go with him." hissed Michaela, "You'll not be doing anything in this trial so it doesn't matter if you're there or breathing down my neck. Go on now."

Jack sighed, but nodded and gestured for the team to follow him. Michaela and Archie headed for their desk.

Jack felt like he was a figurine on display as they entered the segregation section. The soldier went in with them and the door was locked behind him. The team sat down in their chairs and Jack realised that they had a pretty good view of the whole room from here. There was one other good thing about here. He could reach down and link his fingers with Ianto without anyone seeing. He knew the military was still weird about things like that. But it felt good when Ianto held on tight and let their joined hands rest on his knee.

Jack noticed Gwen studying their hands for a moment, as if unsure about them. Then she smiled and looked back out at the room. Owen too had a little smile on his face. Jack couldn't help but feel proud of his team's unity.

"All rise!" called a solider. The soft chatter vanished at once and everyone turned to face the front. Jack rose to his feet with his team and the seven judges filed in, ascending their stage and taking their seats. Everyone else followed suit. As Jack scanned them, he recognised each of the judges by their files Michaela had posted to him.

There was General Bambera, a severe looking woman sitting at the far end; General Sanchez, who actually looked as American as he was; General Magambo, her dark skin gleaming in the sunlight from the windows, then General Oduya, whose darker skin made his piercing eyes all the brighter as he surveyed both Archie and Michaela. On his other side were, General Turner, a Scotsman with a strong moustache; General Thatcher, whose very name man Jack nervous; and finally General Crichton, who had red cheeks and a high hair line.

"This trial of the Deliberations of the Aptitude of The Current Employees at Torchwood Cardiff will now come to order and begin." said General Oduya in his deep voice. That was a voice that could turn Jack on all by itself, but right now, that was as far from his mind as it had ever been. "This trial will begin with the Prosecution's analysis of the Review conducted by Agent Murphy of Torchwood Glasgow, under the orders of Agent Archibald McGregor. The Prosecution will then give a concluding statement, after which time this court will adjourn for the day and resume at this time tomorrow. At which point the Defence for the Team will speak and after they have concluded I and my fellow judges will determine what course of action is to be taken. Is this understood by all present?"

A murmur of assent rolled through the audience.

"Prosecutor, do you understand and agree to this?"

"I do sir." said Lieutenant Connors, rising to his feet again.

"Defence, do you and your clients understand and agree?"

"We do sir." said Michaela, also standing.

"Good. Very well then, let's begin. Prosecution, you may begin."

"Yes sir." said Lieutenant Connors as he moved around the table, the thick Review held in his hands. Michaela sat down again and leaned back in her seat. Lieutenant Connors cleared his throat and began to speak as he paced gracefully before the judges. "Generals, we all understand that the task of protecting this great planet is a great one, a challenging one. Not least is the task of caring for the incredibly powerful, and unpredictable Rift in time and space which not only tosses out dangerous aliens but also is itself a powerful potential weapon. It requires a team of people who are able to show a superior level of strength and resistance to the temptation of using it and the items it brings forth for their personal gain. It requires intelligence, skill, unity, and moral, emotional and mental strength, as well as an ability to physically defend oneself from the aliens that come through the Rift."

Connors allowed himself a soft chuckle, "Well it's clear that Torchwood Cardiff's team is well versed in shooting an alien's head off. But it is just as clear that they are otherwise unfit for this role that they possess." He held the Review aloft.

"This Review makes it quite clear that these people are irresponsible, reckless, morally bankrupt and incapable of doing any protecting of Earth or the people of Cardiff. I would like to cite each member in turn and then as a whole to show you just why allowing these people to continue their guardianship of the Rift is not only foolish, but wholly irresponsible on our parts as members of the dominant species on this planet.

"First, I would like to speak about the most recent member to join the team, and indeed join the Torchwood organisation, Gwen Cooper. All the others have been working since before the tragedy that was Canary Warf."

"Oh Christ." gulped Gwen. Jack glanced down at her and threw her a reassuring smile. Tosh grabbed her hand and squeeze it.

"Agent Cooper is a prime example of why this team should not be allowed to continue in their task, and she's the least experienced one. In no less than sixty separate incidents since her joining not even two years ago she has blatantly ignored the rules and regulations of Torchwood, flaunting her own opinions and refusing to listen to those who actually had some experience with the situations she found herself in. She has broken rules that were designed to protect people and to keep the matter of alien existence a secret, just for her own convenience and selfish needs. Her fiancé was not Ret-conned –a standard requirement of Torchwood if a non-member discovers out what they do- when he discovered their secret base. Clearly Agent Cooper sees herself as above the rules and regulations set down by the founder of her beloved Torchwood. Such self-indulgence is just a step away from using alien technology for her own personal gain-"

"Objection!" said Michaela, getting to her feet. "The Prosecution is speculating."

"Oh I am not Generals!" said Connors, swaggering towards Michaela, looking almost predatory as he smirked at her. "For I happen to know that Agent Cooper stole Ret-Con from Torchwood and used it on her fiancé in her first year, without the permission of Captain Harkness, so that she could confess an illicit affair to him without his remembering."

Gwen's hands flew to her mouth as a soft gasp of discontent passed over the crowd. Jack felt cold fingers spread across his back as he tried to absorb this information. Michaela however was already speaking over the noise,

"Irrelevant! Generals, that information is not in the Review and the agreement was to base the argument purely on that information."

"But it is true, is it not?" said Connors triumphantly, pointing at Michaela with the file.

"Generals, the agreement was-"

"We are aware of the agreement Agent. Murphy." said General Bambera sharply, "And the room will come to order."

As silence fell, Connors turned to the Generals,

"I must point out that these actions are incredibly significant if we are to determine if Agent Cooper is even to be allowed into normal society."

The Generals glanced at each other, and then Oduya said,

"The Defence will answer the Prosecution."

Michaela huffed, a little too hard in Jack's stunned view.

"Yes it is. But Captain Harkness decided it would be best to keep the information out of official records due to the considerations of Agent Cooper's mental state at the time."

"Mental state? Meaning she was unfit for duty?"

Michaela looked straight at the Generals, "Agent Cooper was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to a recent experience in relation to the incident with a Reanimated Suzie Costello-"

"Where she broke the rules." said Connors gleefully.

"Yes, she broke the rules. Because of blatant manipulation set up by Ms. Costello before her death. But the fact is that Captain Harkness sent Agent Jones to ensure that Mr. Williams was unharmed, he reprimanded Agent Cooper and decided that because it was a result of her condition, from which she has since recovered, it would not be fair to blot her record with its mention. And I must point out it is highly improper to make an agreement to stick to the Review if the first thing you'll do is deviate from it!"

"Acknowledge Agent Murphy. Lieutenant Connors, you will stick to the file and the file's contents alone."

"Yes sir. I understand." said Connors, inclining his head. But the damage was done. He'd put a black spot on Gwen's name and damaged Torchwood's credibility by proving they'd covered something up. Something Jack hadn't even been aware of. He glanced at Ianto and then at Gwen. He would have words with both of them when they were safe. For now though, he held on to Ianto's hand, which had gotten sweaty.

Connors continued, going through each of Gwen's mistakes and twisting them until he had Gwen appearing to be a self-serving cow. Michaela said nothing, but Jack had a feeling she was taking care not to appear too defensive. The evidence was there. It had to be acknowledged.

Then Connors moved on to Ianto. And he was brutal.

"This man risked destroying the world for his own desires, all he cared about was that one woman, even though it was apparent she was now nothing more than a Cyberman, which had murdered his co-workers, no doubt before his eyes and yet he didn't care enough to-"

"Objection! Taken out of context." said Michaela, rising to her feet again. Every time she did there was a crack of leather from her shoes that rang in Jack's ears.

"Sustained. Be careful Lieutenant." said Crichton.

"Yes sir. The Agent was aware of the danger the Cybermen posed and yet he did everything he could to keep it alive."

"Object-"

"Sustained. Move along Lieutenant." said Crichton with a hint of warning in his voice.

"Yes sir. He also was part of the mutiny that the team led against their leader which I've already mentioned pertaining to Agent Cooper. On top of that, recent events which in fact led to this trial being called, have been shown to prove that this man has a chequered history all throughout his life and the recent events-"

"Objection. Relevancy?"

"Lieutenant?"

"I assure you sirs it is relevant."

"Very well then."

"Recent events have shown Agent Jones to be unstable and incapable of rational thought. He's emotional, irrational, with an obsessive compulsive disorder and this man has been given a gun! He's as likely to turn it on innocent people as he is on alien threats."

"Objection. Speculation and slander."

"Sustained. You will refrain from such speculation Lieutenant."

"Yes sir." said Connors, but Jack knew he was doing it on purpose. He was doing his job far too well was the truth of it. The Generals couldn't scold him until he'd already spoken and planted the idea in their heads that he wanted to plant. Michaela was playing continuous catch up. But he saw Archie was writing quite a lot and hoped it was going to help.

Connors moved on to Owen, and he focused mostly on the date-rape pheromones. Owen had buried his face in his hands as Connors had talked,

"-Innocent people, unawares of the danger such a spray could hold for them, no way of knowing that it's a sexually abusive substance –this isn't something the government can run a warning slogan about- and he is a man hired to protect them from such abuse and he goes out and does it himself. This man shouldn't just be removed from Torchwood, he needs to be locked up like any sex-offender. Torchwood defended his action! You, Agent Murphy, defended him from UNIT when the attacks occurred."

"We dealt with it. He was reprimanded. UNIT would never allow a Torchwood member to punish one of their soldiers, so UNIT could never have expected us to allow them to punish one of ours."

"If he was reprimanded, why is it not in the records?"

Michaela didn't answer, but Jack could see a dull flush of colour on the back of her neck. Connors continued, but Jack found himself drifting away. He couldn't listen to anymore. It was all just what he'd heard already, several times over. Although he did tune back in when Connors moved on to Toshiko and proceeded to insinuate that she was an alien sympathiser. Michaela did nothing, and Jack fumed. She should have said something.

The Connors came to Jack. It was clear he'd been dying to get to this part of his speech, which had gone on for hours already.

"And finally Generals, we come to the leader of this mab-drab group. The man who we have handed the Rift to, to control and protect the Rift, and yet he is incapable of controlling his own team! Captain Jack Harkness is an incompetent, irresponsible, sexual-deviant who-"

Michaela was on her feet in a heartbeat. "Objection. Captain Harkness is not a sexual deviant, there is no evidence to suggest it, therefore it is irrelevant."

"Or is it not most relevant indeed? After all, a person's sexual drive defines who they are."

"Captain Harkness' sexuality is not a matter for this trial to discuss."

"It is when the Captain's sexual behaviour is inappropriate, improper and boarders on the deviant."

"Where is the evidence?" demanded Michaela with a creak from her shoe.

"Where is the evidence? Look around you. There is not a single person in this room who has not heard or even experienced Captain Harkness' harassing advances and sexual improprieties."

"Hearsay, you're talking about hearsay, nothing to do with the Review. Generals I request that Lieutenant Connors comments on the Captain's sexuality be stricken from the record."

"These behaviours are of utmost importance in determining if Captain Harkness is safe to allow on the Rift."

"Captain Harkness is neither going to have sex with the Rift, nor is his sexual preferences of any importance in this trial, unless we have suddenly jumped back in time to the 1800s."

"You cannot ignore the fact that-" "You are taking out of context-"

"Order! Order! You will both come to order!"

Connors and Michaela both looked around at the Generals, who were all scowling. Owen had reburied his face in his hands and Ianto was clutching Jack's hand more than a little too tight. Jack was astounded that his antics were suddenly so important to this trial. He'd never done anything bad, not like Owen had. How could this be held against him?

"Lieutenant Connors, Agent Murphy. You will both behave in a proper manner or we will dismiss you from this court."

That dull flush on Michaela's neck darkened and spread. But she nodded and sat down.

"Lieutenant Connors can you, in a single statement, convey why we should have to listen to you discussing Captain Harkness' sexual activities."

"Yes sir I can. Because of the amount of times Agent Murphy has had to apologise for him."

There was a horrid silence.

* * *

I didn't want to go into everything Connors said, mostly because we've heard it all before. Several times…

Next update soon!

Night's Darkness


	50. Chapter 46

I just want to say thanks to everyone who's still with me at this late point and welcome quite a few newcomers to the fic who commented. I hope that you will all continue to enjoy this fic until the end. (which this is not, lol)

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 46**

_(14__th__ November 2008)_

"Oh my God… that was horrific." groaned Gwen, face in her hands as they filed out of the courtroom.

"Yeah… I need a drink. A big one." said Owen, an arm around Toshiko's back.

"I think we all need one." said Jack as Rhys and Gwen embraced tightly. Over his shoulder, Gwen sent a pleading look at Jack. She was asking him not to tell Rhys about the Ret-con. And he wouldn't. But he would need to have it out with both her and Ianto. But that could be done later. Right now it did not matter.

"Well, Michaela wasn't kidding." sighed Ianto, "Connors fights dirty."

"How the hell did he find out about the Ret-con?" asked Owen.

"I don't know."

"They must have the phones tapped. I'll bollock them for it." snarled Michaela as she and Archie joined them. She was red faced and fuming. Her hair appeared to be curling with fury.

"Why didn't you defend Tosh-"

"Don't you dare start with me Captain 'I can't keep it in my pants' Harkness!" she spat, making Jack jump. "Why don't you wake up and realise you're in the 21st century and show some fucking respect for the social etiquette?"

"Hey-!"

"Shut up!" she ordered, "You do not get to dictate anything to me right now. I'm the one who has to do the work. I'm the one who'll have to explain away all your stupid antics! So you will just shut up and keep to yourself for the rest of this trial."

That said she strode away and hurried up the stairs, no doubt to go to her room. Archie heaved a sigh and said,

"God I'm dying for a fag."

"So have one." said Ianto staring after Michaela.

"Can't. If she smells the smoke on me… life will not be worth living. She made me quit when my doctor put me on a no-sodium diet. Said if I ever smoke again, she'll kill me before the heart-disease gets a chance."

"She's fiery." said Rhys.

"No, she's not meant to be. That is not who Michaela is." said Ianto firmly.

"No offence lad, but what do you know about who she is?" asked Archie pointedly. Ianto looked down. Archie sighed, "Ah… I didn't mean it so harsh. Just… give her space. After tomorrow, once yer all free to go, then hopefully things'll get better."

"And until tomorrow, drinks!" said Owen, heading for the bar. Gwen hurried after him, dragging Rhys with her. Ianto followed quickly after, while Tosh waited for Jack. Jack decided he did need a drink.

"Coming Archie?" he asked.

"Aye, if you don't mind me tagging with you."

"No, of course not."

"Right." snorted Archie, "I'm the one who brought this whole thing down on you, remember?"

Jack sighed, "We brought it on ourselves as much."

"Yeah? So why has Micka become the focal point of the resentment?"

Jack couldn't answer him.

~*~

_(15__th__ November 2008)_

The trial was supposed to resume at 9am. But it was five minutes to 9 and Michaela was nowhere in sight. No one had seen her since yesterday and Jack was getting worried. The team had already been locked in the Segregation area and Archie was standing on the other side looking in.

"Did anyone check her room?"

No one answered, all looking uncomfortable.

Then General Oduya strode up to them and said, "Where is Agent Murphy?"

"We're about to go look for her now." said Archie calmly. "I suspect she's just been delayed."

"Hmph! Very well. But this is not a good impression for you McGregor."

"Got it Oduya. Now if you'll excuse us."

"_Dubhtach come back!"_

Michaela's voice came loud and alarmed from outside the courtroom. The door banged opened and Dubhtach came streaking in, barking furiously and forcing people to jump out of her way before they were knocked over. Right behind her came Michaela, her briefcase swinging in her hand as she ran after her dog.

"Dubhtach stop!"

"Agent Murphy!" barked Oduya, "What is the meaning of this?"

"I'm sorry General she barrelled out of the room before I could stop her –Dubhtach what are you doing?" Michaela sounded close to tears as she dumped the briefcase on her desk and hurried to Dubhtach who was now sniffing the floor and seemed to have focused on a particular spot.

"Dubhtach…" groaned Michaela, reaching out to grab the dog's collar. Then Dubhtach lifted her head and barked. Michaela jumped back and looked alarmed.

"Dubhtach…" shemurmured, staring at the dog. Dubhtach barked again, her spine stiff as she hunched down. The barks sounded like they meant something. Michaela's hands flew to her mouth and she said sharply, "Confirm."

Dubhtach barked again and touched her nose to the ground. Michaela knelt next to her and called, "There's something under the floor boards! Something dangerous, get something to open it up."

Jack jumped to his feet as the people in the courtroom gasped in alarm.

"Agent Murphy-" began Oduya, but Michaela glared up at him.

"General I trained my dog to be able to find alien tech and identify dangers. Now she is telling me there is something dangerous under the floor-"

"Our soldiers have searched and scanned the whole building!"

"Would you rather risk us all for stubborn pride?" asked Michaela, her hand resting on the back of Dubhtach's neck as the dog kept her nose pressed to the ground. Oduya glared at her for a long moment, then snapped,

"Someone come and pull up these floorboards."

Two soldiers came and they broke through the wood. The older solider stepped back as they and Michaela peered into the hole.

"Sir, there's some sort of device in there. The dog's right."

"All right clear the area! I want that thing, whatever it is, contained now." ordered Oduya. The soldiers ushered the people out of the courtroom, while Jack and the team were let out of the segregation area and hurried out by Archie who called for Michaela.

"Jesus, what do you think it was, a bomb?"

"UNIT would have been able to find a bomb, wouldn't they?" asked Gwen.

"Apparently not –Michaela, over here!" called Archie, waving her over. Michaela ran over to the team, Dubhtach at her side. She looked so distressed, almost unhinged as she grabbed Jack by his greatcoat and pulled him down so they were nose to nose.

"Did you plant that?" she demanded.

"Wh –what?"

"Did you plant that thing there?" she shrieked, giving him a little shake.

"No! No of course not." Jack glanced at the rest of his team, all of whom looked baffled. No one had a shred of guilt on their faces. "None of us did."

"They're gonna think we did!" Michaela cried, letting Jack go and running her fingers through her hair. "They'll think it was us, as a way of getting out of this whole mess. And the fact that my dog found it –Oh God, what are we going to do?"

"We're gonna calm down, first and foremost." said Archie catching her shoulders. "We can set this right. We've done nothing wrong."

"Do you think they'll care? They're out to get us, and they'll use this against us."

"And we can get out of it."

Michaela drew in a deep breath and then slapped Archie's hands off. Without another word she turned away and went straight to Oduya, and began to talk to him. Oduya narrowed his eyes at her and they seemed to have an argument. They talked in rushed undertones next to the door of the courtroom. Lieutenant Connors rushed to join them and soon the other Generals did the same and they formed a circle, Connors and Michaela vying for speaking room.

It was Bambera who seemed to bring the argument to a close. At the same time, the soldiers emerged from the courtroom with a containment box. One of these faceless men spoke to the Generals and then strode away. The Generals had a quick discussion and then Michaela retreated. She returned to the team and said,

"We're gonna resume the trial as soon as the room has been cleared for any more dangers."

"What was that thing?"

"Some sort of biogenic bomb they think. They need Dubhtach to sniff around, see if she can find anymore stuff. The weapons avoided detection by human means so…" Michaela shrugged and called Dubhtach to follow her.

"How did the dog know the bomb was there? Michaela's room is on the fifth floor with ours."

"Dubhtach is a good sniffer. Michaela's trained her to smell a threat from miles away." said Archie.

"Good thing Michaela wasn't able to keep her locked in her room." muttered Jack.

"Aye. Small mercies." said Archie as they watched Michaela take Dubhtach into the courtroom, followed by several soldiers. "Let's get a drink while we wait." Archie beckoned them to follow, and they duly did, shaken at the idea that if it weren't for a dog, they could have all been killed.

~*~

"This trial will resume. Defence, you may begin."

"Yes sir." said Michaela quietly, rising to her feet. The trial was two hours late in resuming, but Dubhtach had seemed satisfied with the room and was now lying under the Defence's table, taking a well deserved nap.

Jack watched from the Segregation Area as Michaela rose to her feet. She was pale and the file in her hands shook visibly as she glanced at it. Michaela swallowed and drew in a deep breath,

"You… uh…" she said, looking up at the Generals and all the colour left her face and her voice vanished. Jack's heart sank as he realised she'd lost her nerve. Michaela swallowed again and glanced at Archie and then over the heads of the crowd to look at the segregated team. She looked so scared. Jack wanted to reach out and hug her in reassurance. But he couldn't and clearly, she couldn't do it.

Michaela looked down and slowly closed the file in her hands. She walked back to the table and set the file down, eyes staring into space. Jack could hear Gwen's ragged breathing and feeling Ianto's hand go cold and clammy in his.

Michaela glanced to the side at Lieutenant Connors who was reclining in his seat and smirking. She looked away, a muscle twitching in her jaw and her heavy breathing was audible in the horrifically uncomfortable silence. Then she said, in a low, carrying voice,

"This is not fair."

"Agent Murphy?" said Bambera sharply. Michaela's eyes widened and she span around on her heels and said loudly,

"This is not fair. This trial is a complete sham. You seriously expect a group of UNIT Generals to be a fair deliberation? With all the nonsensical bad blood between the two sides and neither is capable of seeing the value of the other. You, as UNIT members, cannot see the importance of Torchwood's activities."

"Watch yourself Agent or you will be held in contempt." saidOduya, narrowing his eyes. Jack however, felt a small grin appear on his face.

"But all this trial has allowed for is the negative behaviour to be blazoned for all to see and there was no positive aspects allowed. How can you make an informed decision if you know only one side to the situation? The fact is you can't. But in the interest of fairness, I believe a comparison is in order."

She turned and nodded to the two men standing at the door and they nodded, picking up several office boxes and bringing them to the table.

"Objection, relevance?" saidConnors, jumping to his feet.

"Generals if you really want to decide if Torchwood is meant to guard the Rift I suggest you listen to this evidence." saidMichaela smoothly. The Generals shifted uncomfortably, but finally they gave assent and Michaela gestured to the boxes, of which there were ten, and made a loud thump as they were set on the table. "Observe, the number of offences committed by UNIT members."

"Objection, there are far more members of UNIT as it spans the world."

"I only took from the UK."

"That's still far more than Torchwood has."

"I also reduced the selection by taking offenses committed by persons of equivalent rank to the Cardiff team."

"UNIT has a long history-"

"I only chose from 1st January 2000 to present day, which is the time the Review spans."

"General this is still not appropriate-"

"Surely we should be determining who is fit to guard the Rift, not whether one organisation is fit to guard it over another. And yet the Lieutenant's argument was focused mostly on UNIT being better suited to the task than Torchwood."

"Objection."

"Sustained, defence will not attack the prosecution."

"Yes sir." Michaela opened a box and lifted out a handful of files. She gave one to each of the Generals and then began to stride up and down before them. "What you have here Generals is an incident that is the equivalent of one of the offences a Torchwood team member is accused of. But what I wish to direct your attention to is not the crime, but the manner in which the offender was dealt with."

Jack furrowed his brow, and wondered what Michaela was doing. This she had not told them about.

"If you will look Generals, you will see that the standard reaction to a crime such as using alien technology for personal gain was to use your version of Ret-con and discharge the offender at once. There is no second chance, there is no reprimand, there is no chance to redeem these people. There is no learning from their mistakes. Instead you just throw them away and look for someone else to be the impossible perfect soldier that won't make mistakes. And you never will find them. And therein lies the vital difference between Torchwood and UNIT. These people have made mistakes-"

"Objection, irrelevant." said Connors.

"If there is one thing this evidence is not it is irrelevant."saidMichaela.

"That is up to us Agent Murphy." saidCrichton coolly.

"But General, surely you can see the vital importance of making mistakes and learning from them. We do it from the earliest days of our lives. If you don't allow someone to-"

"Move along Defence." said Crichton firmly. Michaela did not react at once, then nodded and said,

"Yes sir."

She turned and side-stepped the hole in the floor as she returned to the table and closed the box, then she turned around again and faced the judges.

"Generals…" she began, putting her hands behind her back and speaking in a near-conversational tone, "The purpose of this trial, in the end, is to determine if Torchwood Cardiff's current team is capable and good enough to guard the Rift and to protect the people of Earth."

She put on an air of pondering the question, and Jack suddenly realised that she was actually a very good actress. Had that beginning of showing fear been a ploy of some sort? But what purpose would it have served? Michaela continued, and her next words caught Jack's breath.

"Quite frankly, there is no one better suited to guarding the Rift than Captain Harkness. He is the perfect choice for the task. Why do you ask? Because that is the ultimate question isn't it? Why should Captain Harkness be placed in charge of the Rift? The answer is that there is no one who could handle it better. And this is not because he can shoot an alien's head off, but because he knows when not to shoot an alien's head off. Captain Harkness is a rarity in that when he sees an alien, he sees an alien, a being from another world, wholly and solely that. Whereas most humans on Earth would see a deviation from the default, that is, they would see a non-human and react in accordance with fear, mistrust and an instant assumption that the creature is dangerous, Captain Harkness sees a creature that may be afraid, lost, alone and in need of saving.

"Captain Harkness doesn't see everything about the Rift as a threat. He appreciates the beauty and the wonder that the Rift can bring forth. He understands better than anyone that just because it's not of Earth doesn't mean it's a danger. For every Sycorax there is a benevolent creature and Captain Harkness knows this for a fact! It is not a wistful dream of an optimistic fool, it is a living breathing fact that the Captain knows in his heart."

Jack swallowed, feeling warmth flood him as Michaela spoke so passionately, and Ianto leaned against him a little and squeezed his hand again.

"It's not just the Rift who needs the Captain, Earth needs the Captain. He is a solid, eternal guiding force, maintaining a firm but gentle hand in our introduction to the realities of the Universe beyond our own Solar System. He sees that there is not all darkness and anger out there, and if we are to become a part of the bigger we need to remember that too. We cannot be afraid of everything in the dark."

"Captain Harkness is so eternal that he's outlived every other member of Torchwood since its foundation." sneered Connors, but he sounded a little nervous. "Clearly he is sympathetic to aliens because he is one."

"Read the medical reports! You know he's as human as anyone." snapped Michaela.

"That doesn't explain his longevity."

"You see what I mean!" declared Michaela, gesturing at Connors as she turned back to the Generals, "Just because it is different, he immediately suspects danger. But why can Captain Harkness' longevity not be seen as a core of stability in an ever changing and expanding universe that we someday will have to become a part of? Surely you can see the strength he lends to us all by his sheer knowledge and understanding of how things really are."

The Generals were watching Michaela intently.

"Generals I can say no more to impress upon you the vital importance of Captain Harkness' continued involvement in all matters extraterrestrial, but I will say this. _We need him!_ Torchwood needs Captain Jack Harkness, UNIT needs Captain Jack Harkness, _Earth_ needs Captain Jack Harkness and Captain Jack Harkness needs his team. He needs them to be there for him, he needs them to do their duties which he gave to them to aid him in his continuing attempts to defend this planet from actual threats. And if Captain Harkness needs them, then we all need them. We need them because they have made mistakes, because they have learned from them, because they understand better than anyone the flawed nature of humanity and they embrace it. Because if we cannot embrace our own flaws, and try to over come them, we will never be able to move forward into the stars and achieve intergalactic relations with any other species.

"What you, Generals, have to decide is if you really do believe in the importance of our stepping forward, as a species, as a planet. And if you do believe in it, believe that it is of utmost importance, then you will realise and understand why these people-" she pointed at the team, "These people must be allowed to continue forwards and lead us into the future. These people are our future. And it is in your hands now, to decide if you believe in this future, or if you don't."

Jack felt his eyes prick, but he didn't let any tears fall as he smiled in pride at Michaela as she turned away and sat back down next to Archie. Gwen's hands moved to clap, but she caught herself and stayed silent as the rest of the room. It was obvious that the Generals were moved, affected by Michaela's words, definitely disturbed.

Oduya swallowed and then cleared his throat,

"We shall retire to discuss the final judgement. No one else shall leave this room."

"All rise!"

Everyone stood up and the Generals filed out slowly. Then a gentle murmur began to rise as people started whispering to one another. Jack strained to see over the heads of people to see Archie and Michaela. Finally, Archie appeared out of the throng and rushed to them beaming,

"She did it! I know it, you saw their faces!"

"I knew she could!" said Ianto, beaming with pride.

"Where is she?"

"Ah, just getting a drink." said Archie, discomfort flashing over his face. Jack got the feeling he was lying.

"Let me talk to her. I want to thank her."

"Er… shouldn't you wait until the verdict."

"If justice exists, I could. But I can't take that chance. Whether or not we win, I want to thank her now… I had no idea…" Jack was finding it difficult to speak, he wanted to kiss Michaela, thank her for having such faith in him, and in the team. He suddenly understood why Ianto had gotten so jealous. Archie did not move.

"Archie?"

"Look, just… I'll tell her yeah. But she's absolutely done in by that, ok? Trembling in her seat and trying not to break down. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you to worry, but she's not been well and… she did great, I mean I think we can agree she couldn't have done better, but… I don't think she's up for facing anyone."

"When you say not well…?" probed Owen quietly.

"I honestly don't know what it is. She's just not herself anymore."

"It's the stress probably." said Gwen gently, "I mean… we did expect a lot from her." Michaela had clearly gotten to Gwen too. Archie nodded,

"Here's hoping lass."

People were resuming their seats to talk, so Jack could see Michaela at the table. She was holding her head in her hands and Jack could see her shoulders rising and falling with effort.

Connors had left his seat and was now looming over her, whispering into her ear. Jack felt a protective rage build up as he saw that same damn predatory look on his face, and he said,

"Archie, get that bastard away from her!"

Archie twisted to see what he meant. "Bullocks!" He hurried away and moved straight to the table. Jack refused to sit down until Archie had chased Connors away with god only knows what kind of language and rested a hand on Michaela's back, which she shrugged off and refused to look at him. Jack's heart ached. It was like watching Ianto self-destructing all over again.

"Do you think we'll be let off?" asked Tosh quietly.

"If there's any justice, yes. But we all know justice is a flexible thing. So… it could be either way." said Jack quietly.

They didn't talk much as they waited. There wasn't much to say. So it was a relief and a terror to see the door open and the Generals return to their seats.

"Order." called Oduya. Silence had already fallen. "Will the defendants please rise."

Jack got to his feet, still clutching Ianto's hand. Michaela and Archie got to their feet, as did Connors.

Oduya sighed, looking unhappy, and opened the slip of paper, "We the judges of this trial, hereby find the defendents-"

* * *

Please don't kill me! *hides under desk* If you kill me I won't be able to update again.

Night's Darkness


	51. Chapter 47

*peeps over desk* Hi! Well here we are, the verdict. Sorry for the mean cliffhanger, but it was just… so hard to resist. Lol. Anyway, I apologise for any distress, ;) that I may have caused.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 47**

_(15__th__ November 2008)_

" –not guilty."

Gwen screamed in sobbing relief.

Tosh sank into her chair.

Owen punched the air.

Ianto sagged against Jack.

Jack beamed as much as he could.

Michaela dropped her head to her chest.

Archie clapped his hands.

"However, we the judges do have some conditions placed upon this verdict." said Oduya over the commotion. "We feel that certain mistakes have been made and must be corrected, as such we will decree several new regulations to be imposed by Torchwood upon its employees. Agent Murphy if you will accompany us we can sort it out now."

"Yes sir." said Michaela, already gathering up her things. She followed the Generals out as Archie turned and ran to the team as Jack all but barrelled out of the Segregation Area, followed by the team, and he and Archie embraced with a triumphant laugh.

"I knew you'd be fine!" laughed Archie, giving Jack a tight squeeze. Jack grinned into his neck, a feeling of great elation pushing through him relentlessly, sending him on a great high.

"As soon as I see that woman I am gonna give her the kiss of her life." he said with a wide smile.

"Aye, well that'll certainly be a sight to see." said Archie, shaking his head. "Now, let's get out there and let Ms. Cooper reassure her boyfriend that all is well."

Gwen had already run out the door.

~*~

"I told you you'd all be fine." crowed Rhys with a lapful of Gwen and a handful of beer.

"Yeah, did you now?" laughed Gwen, beaming up at him from where her head rested on his shoulder.

"Of course. You lot always get out of your messes."

"Yeah well, hopefully from now on there'll be less messes than before." said Archie, his own beer resting on his knee.

"There will be." assured Jack. "And the two Torchwoods are going to work together better than they did. No more covering for me secretly, and no more ignoring on our part."

"Sounds good." Archie raised his glass and Jack clinked it with his own. Archie drank a large mouthful and sighed, "How much longer will those regulations take? Can't those idiots see Micka needs a rest?"

"They're probably a bit sore over admitting defeat." said Ianto, "Connors certainly is." He gestured at the bar. Connors was standing, nursing a glass of whiskey or scotch and glaring into it.

"Well good. I read his file. Arsehole he is." growled Archie.

"Yeah?"

"Three counts of assault charges, never proven, but three's a big number in these matters."

Jack decided he'd keep a closer eye on Connors for the rest of their stay. Just in case.

"Excuse me."

Jack looked up. The manager, looking a little flustered, had come up behind Jack's chair. "Agent Murphy has asked me to show you to a private room so as to discuss the regulations."

"At last!" said Archie, heaving himself to his feet. Rhys kissed Gwen's nose as she got up and Gwen kissed him on the mouth before she followed the others out of the tearoom and into a smaller room which was obviously used for business meetings because it had a long table in the centre. Michaela was already waiting for them, her expression tense. Jack moved to embrace her and thank her, but something stopped him. Something about her made him think twice about touching her. So instead he brushed past her to sit down at the table. The others all gathered at the table, and the manager bowed out of the room. Michaela quickly opened a new file and said,

"UNIT has insisted that Captain Harkness abide by these demands, and I said that he would. They are not unreasonable, in fact two of them should have been done years ago."

Jack cringed, feeling like a child being scolded by his mum.

"Firstly, Captain Harkness must establish an official hierarchy within the confines of the Cardiff team, which includes selecting a second in command to take over, should he… vanish again."

Jack opened his mouth to say that Gwen had done a pretty good job, but Michaela got there first,

"UNIT feels that as Agent Cooper has the least experience and has shown she is vulnerable to emotional bias and blindness, she is unsuitable for the role. They recommend choosing Agent Sato as second in command as she has been with the organisation the longest –save of course for the two commanding officers- and has proven herself capable of making the right decisions, regardless of personal opinions."

Jack thought of Tommy and nodded. Tosh had done the right thing then and she probably always would.

"Ok." he said.

"Secondly, Dr. Owen Harper's access to Torchwood property is to be restricted until such a time as Captain Harkness feels he has learned to be responsible for his actions."

"What?" demanded Owen, cheeks flushing pink in anger. Michaela, who'd yet to actually look at anyone, said coolly,

"Captain Harkness, this is entirely your own judgement call. So whenever you decide."

Jack nodded, understanding. He could just say he was satisfied now and nothing would have to happen. UNIT had just needed to say it.

"I feel he's learned his lesson enough."

Michaela nodded, "Very well. Thirdly, Agent Jones is to submit to psychological analysis with a UNIT specialist to ensure he is emotionally stable for the tasks he is asked to perform."

Ianto's hands clenched on the desk, but most impressively, he said nothing against it. He nodded his assent and Jack patted his arm. He was proud that Ianto was so accepting. It probably wasn't a bad idea in the long run anyway.

"Fourth, Agent Cooper is to be reprimanded to a desk assignment until she has learned that she cannot allow her emotions to cloud her judgement."

Gwen's eyes flashed, but Jack nodded hard. He was angry about what he'd learned and he would be very clear about that when he got back to Cardiff.

"Finally, UNIT believes it would be for the best if the two organisations were to share information more freely and interact more regularly, to ensure that a) neither side becomes too corrupt, and b) so both will react better in a crisis. For this, they have requested that I come down to Cardiff each month and then report to London. As they are used to dealing with me, they would like to continue this."

"Don't you have enough to do?" asked Archie irritably,

"I've agreed to this arrangement, and if you and Captain Harkness agree, you'll sign these two copies of the new regulations and I will give one copy back to UNIT." said Michaela, almost talking over Archie. Jack glanced at Archie, who shrugged and then looked at Michaela again,

"We'll do it. They're not unreasonable. But UNIT better understand there is a limit to the amount of interference they can dole out."

Michaela nodded, "I've already told them as much. The two organisations will remain independent of each other on the whole. Now, sign these."

Jack and Archie both signed the papers and then handed them back to Michaela who put them away.

"One final thing. Agent Cooper this is for you."

Gwen gave a small start of surprise as Michaela handed over a file. "What is it?"

"If you'll look inside, you'll find a form that will reimburse you and your partner for any losses due to the cancelation of your wedding ceremony. You'll also find a code which you can use to book an appointment in the Hotel Cherry Wood, which as I understand it was your first choice for the wedding."

"Yeah, it was booked up." said Gwen, eyes widening

"If you give them that code, they will ensure you get the date of your choice. If you choose not to use it, simply inform them that the floating appointment will no longer be needed."

Gwen gaped at Michaela, mouth hanging open as Michaela packed away everything. "How… Why… Thank you."

"It was nothing." said Michaela, still not looking up. She shut the briefcase and walked out the door before anyone could react. Gwen let out a gasp.

"This place is impossible to book! And she got me any day I want… but… how did she… why would she do this?"

"She felt bad about the loss of your wedding day. Decided to fix it a bit. Told me to keep my trap shut in as many words." said Archie, rising to his feet. Ianto smiled a little.

"Oh my… I've got to tell Rhys!"

"Go on then!" laughed Jack, gesturing at the door. Gwen ran out calling for her fiancé, smiling like a little girl. "Well, that's something good."

"Aye. Now I'm going to get a stiff drink. Anyone gonna join me?"

"I… think I'm gonna look for 'Kaela. I want to try to talk to her." said Ianto quietly.

"Ok. Go on, but be careful." said Archie.

"What is she gonna do, shoot him?" snorted Owen.

Archie shrugged, "I wouldn't like to speculate."

Owen's eyes widened. Jack shook his head,

"Don't exaggerate so much Archie, Owen won't let Ianto out of his sight if you keep that up."

"I may enjoy having a big brother again, but I don't want an over-protective one." said Ianto, shaking his head.

Owen snorted, "Fat chance. If I was over-protective I'd die of a heart attack considering the job we do."

"Fair point." said Archie.

"Ok, be back for the dinner though." said Jack, "The food here is… well I don't want to use the word orgas-"

"Yes you do, but we honestly don't." said Owen sharply. Jack grinned and Ianto laughed, leaving the room.

~*~

Gwen hummed to herself as she went to the ladies room. She was getting married. The thought made her all warm inside and it was all she could think about. She was getting married. She was going to be Mrs. Williams… well maybe not at work. She liked being Cooper too.

As she walked by the dining hall she smelled a delicious scent of food, and her mouth watered. She'd not had much of an appetite thus far while she'd been here. Now she was hungry enough to eat a house. So she picked up her pace and rushed into the ladies.

While she was in the cubicle, she suddenly realised that she could hear something odd in the cubicle next to her. It sounded like heavy breathing. Maybe someone was crying inside the cubicle.

"Ah!" gasped the distinctly male voice. Gwen's hands flew to her mouth as she realised that she was peeing next to a guy getting either a handjob or a blowjob. Her face flushed. She may work for Jack Harkness, but that still didn't mean this wasn't mortifying. Especially since the guy was doing nothing to keep quiet. Gwen hurriedly finished up and went to wash her hands, something her mother had drilled into her to do at once after using the loo. Much to her added mortification she heard the guy in the cubicle… finish with a satisfied laugh.

Gwen furrowed her brow. That voice was familiar. But from where?

She got her answer a second later as she pushed the suds off her hands and the cubicle door opened behind her. Gwen couldn't resist looking into the mirror. Lieutenant Connors smirked at her and Gwen did her utmost not to blush. She really did not like this man. It wasn't just that he'd been their Prosecution, but he was a nasty piece of work, she could tell. If she did let her emotions affect her, she was still a damn good judge of character. She knew a slimeball when she saw one.

Connors swaggered out of the bathroom and Gwen was just reaching for the towels when the cubicle door opened. Gwen glanced again, curious to see what woman would willingly –Oh Christ!

Michaela froze as she saw Gwen, halfway through wiping at her mouth. Gwen stared back, mind going blank as to what she should say or do. Michaela let out a shuddering breath, staring at Gwen with complete… mistrust? What? Gwen finally turned properly to say something, but Michaela was running out the door before she could. Gwen wanted to go after her, her instincts screaming at her that everything about this was wrong, but instead she finished drying her hands and went to find Jack.

Jack was already in the dining room. It was as posh as the rest of the place, with circular tables big enough to hold six or seven people spread out. The team was seated at one of the middle tables, chatting cheerfully. Jack was whispering into Ianto's ear, although he was probably reassuring him, because Ianto looked glum. He'd not been able to find Michaela. Gwen wish she'd been as lucky.

"Jack, we may have a problem." she said, sliding into her seat next to Rhys.

"Can it wait? This has been a day of too many problems."

"I wish it could, but I think not. If nothing else we're supposed to be saving all of Torchwood today, aren't we?"

Jack and Ianto both looked at her curiously. Gwen wasn't sure she had the heart to tell Ianto this, so she whispered it to Jack.

"I just caught Connors getting a blowjob from Michaela in the ladies loo."

Jack reacted like she'd electrocuted him. "What?" he snapped. Gwen backed up, a little unnerved.

"It didn't look right at all Jack." she admitted, twisting her engagement ring.

"What is it?" asked Ianto, leaning forward.

"Apparently our good Lieutenant Connors managed to get a 'trouser friendly kiss' from Michaela." said Jack acidly.

"No." said Ianto firmly. Jack nodded,

"I know." He glanced around and settled his gaze on the door. Gwen followed his eyes and saw Michaela standing there, where General Crichton seemed to be talking to her unaware of her clear disinterest. "Ok, I'll have a word with her, Ianto stay here."

Ianto nodded, looking like he'd swallowed a lemon.

"Gwen, keep an eye on Connors. If he leaves I want to know."

Gwen nodded and twisted in her seat to watch Connors who was now chatting cheerfully with General Oduya. That smarmy smile was on his face still. Gwen scowled. Asshole.

~*~

Jack went to the bar and ordered a scotch for himself and a rum and coke for Michaela. He then walked over to her and Crichton and interrupted cheerfully,

"Sorry General, mind if I borrow my favourite Defender?"

Crichton nodded and moved away as Michaela started and looked between them. Jack waited until Crichton was gone and relaxed his grin into a genuine smile.

"Here. Got you this." He held out the drink. Michaela frowned at him like he was speaking a foreign language, and then down at the drink in his hand. Then she looked up at him and hissed,

"Do you think I'm an idiot?"

Then she stepped around Jack and moved to the bar, leaving a bewildered Jack presenting the drink to the air. Jack furrowed his brow, cocked his head to the side and then span around and chased after her. He reached her as she was given another drink,

"Hey." he set the glasses down and leaned on the bar. Michaela glared up at him suspiciously. "What was that over there?"

"As if you don't know." sneered Michaela, lifting her drink to her lips. But she paused and looked at the drink in her hand. Then she looked up at Jack again, livid and a little scared, "You spiked this one too, didn't you?"

Jack blinked at her, "Huh?"

"Don't play stupid with me." she spat, "You think I don't know you spiked the drink with Ret-con? Well it won't work!" she set the glass down with a clack. "I'm not letting you manipulate me too. You think I don't know what you're up to? What games you're playing you sick bastard! Well they won't work. Just leave me alone!"

She stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned Jack staring after her. On automatic, Jack's feet returned him to the table and he sank into his seat, slightly dazed.

"What happened Jack?" asked Ianto.

"She thinks I'm trying to Ret-con her." said Jack softly.

"What? Why would she think that?" asked Owen, leaning in to talk at an undertone.

"I've no idea. Archie?"

Archie shrugged helplessly. Ianto looked between Jack and Archie and sighed,

"That's it, I'm gonna talk to her."

"Ianto I don't know if that's-"

"Whether it's a good idea or not, it's what I'm doing." declared Ianto. He walked out and Jack wished him luck. But he had a feeling if Michaela didn't like Jack right now… Ianto's chances were far worse.

~*~

Ianto found her smoking on the pavilion. Her shoes were dangling from her hand.

"Thought you gave that up." he said gently.

Michaela spun on her heels and glared at him warily. Ianto approached her slowly, trying to appear friendly. Michaela dropped her cigarette as she said,

"What would you know of anything to do with me?"

Ianto winced. "Fair point."

Michaela lit a new one and drew in a deep breath of smoke, and slowly let it out. All the while she watched Ianto like he was a predator about to pounce on her. Ianto licked his lips, and considered asking for a cigarette, but instead he decided to just ask what he needed to,

"What happened with Connors?"

"None of your business." she said shortly, blowing a stream of smoke his way. Ianto blink in it and remembered how they used to smoke in the cold fields surrounding Torchwood House. They'd laugh about how the smoke they were blowing was making Scotland even cloudier. He recalled her smooth rounded cheeks crinkling at the corners of her mouth as she'd grinned at him. Ianto couldn't see that girl in this angry woman. And he felt very guilty.

"Look… I just wanted to say-"

"I swear to God if you say sorry I am punching you." she said loudly. "You're so sorry you've managed to drain the word of its meaning. You've devalued the word so it means nothing to me anymore. You and your relentless whinging calls. Honestly," she threw the stub down and stepped forward, making Ianto step back, "You and your calls, your relentless, pointless, selfish badgering and whinging, whinging, always fucking whinging, like the sad, self-centred brat you really are. You're a kid who can't play with its favourite toy which it likes to pull apart and throw away after five seconds of interest!"

"That's not true. You're not a toy to me!" gasped Ianto, backing away from her in horror. "I love you."

"You love yourself and that I indulged you! You don't love me as anything other than a toy and now you're done with me and you're trying to trick me into falling for you again so you and he can tear me to pieces like butchers! Well I'm not letting you! I'm not falling for it! What's more, you may think you love me, -or maybe you don't even think it, you just say it –but I know for a fact that all I feel is hatred for you."

"'Kaela please!"

"I hate you! I hate you!" she cried to the sky, trembling with rage. She threw her shoes at him and Ianto ducked to avoid them. "I hate you Ianto Jones! Blaine may have broken my body, but you fucking destroyed me! I hate you!" In her tights, she marched away back into the hotel.

"Michaela, wait, you can't just… Wait!" cried Ianto, starting after her.

"Just leave me alone!" she snapped and disappeared up the stairs.

Ianto wasn't really aware of returning to the team, in fact, he only noticed he'd done it when Jack embraced him and he buried his face in Jack's neck.

~*~

That night as Jack gently rubbed Ianto's back in bed to try and soothe him to sleep, they heard a strange noise. It was a sort of… scratching? And whining?

"You hear that?" asked Jack softly. Ianto, half hugging his pillow, nodded into it. "What is it?"

Ianto's numb brain had to think for a moment before he sat bolt upright.

"Dubhtach!"

Jack climbed out of bed and strode to the door. Ianto followed, bringing his pillow with him.

Dubhtach was outside their door and whined as they stared at her.

"What's she doing out here?" asked Ianto. Jack glanced down the corridor.

"Ianto."

Ianto peered around him.

The door to Michaela's room was open…

* * *

Never a dull moment, is there, lol.

Night's Darkness


	52. Chapter 48

Apologies for the double cliffy over the last two chapters, and thank you all for sticking with me.

Also, I was asked about the sequel, and I wanted to say, yes that is still in the plan and will be done if all goes well. But don't worry, I'll let you know when I'm moving there. I wouldn't start it without a warning.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 48**

Jack and Ianto, still in their boxers, ran to Michaela's room, following Dubhtach who pushed her way into the room and barked.

"Jesus!" gasped Jack.

The room had been trashed. The full length mirror in the corner had been smashed, as had the one in the bathroom. There were clothes littered all over the place, shreds of paper sprinkled like confetti, the cushioned chair by the window had been over turned.

"Oh God… you don't think Connors-?" Ianto mumbled. Jack looked around again, and shook his head.

"No…"

Jack picked up a skirt. At least, it may once have been a skirt. It had been slashed very deliberately, torn up into shreds with a scissors. So had all the other clothes. Even the shoes had been hacked to bits. Make up containers had been thrown at the wall, blusher and eye shadows streaking the eggshell wallpaper. A perfume bottle had been dropped to the wooden floor. This was not a robbery, or an assault.

"I think she did this herself." said Jack softly.

"Why would she tear up all her clothes?" asked Ianto, still hugging his pillow to his chest as if it would protect him.

Jack moved to the suitcase in the corner and gently opened it. He found a Bugs Bunny T-shirt and jeans, neatly folded next to a pair of runners. In the openings of each of the runners, were two figurines. Jack recognise one with purple on it as the one that had been in Michaela's briefcase as Donatello. He vaguely remembered that he'd had three companions. Jack gently touched Donatello and then looked around again.

"I think she was tearing up the bureaucrat part of herself. Look, she didn't touch the casual t-shirt. Or the runners or jeans. Just all the trappings of a… secretary? Lawyer?" Jack wasn't sure what specifically Michaela had been attacking, but he was pretty sure that's what she'd been doing.

"But… where is she?" asked Ianto. Jack shrugged, a cold ball of worry settling in his stomach. Ianto looked down at Dubhtach who was whining against his bare thigh, "If Dubhtach can smell a bomb, she can find 'kaela. She knows her scent better than any other."

"Right. Come, lets throw on some clothes and we'll find her."

Ianto nodded and they ran out of the room and back into their own. As Jack past Rhys and Gwen's room he could hear Gwen moaning Rhys' name. Well it was fine for some!

They grabbed the first clothes they reached and scrambled to pull them on.

"Where is she girl?" asked Ianto to Dubhtach as Jack hopped around, pulling a shoe on. "Find. Find Michaela."

Dubhtach let out a soft bark and turned around. Jack and Ianto followed her out of the room and back into the corridor. Dubhtach twitched right, then left and then bolted down to the right.

"Dubhtach! Lop." ordered Ianto as they chased after her. Dubhtach immediately slowed down to a fast walk. "Good to see she remembers her early training."

"Yeah." Jack decided that the second he got a chance, he was testing this dog out. They followed Dubhtach down the stairs and into the Foyer. Dubhtach sniffed around for a moment before hurrying to the pavilion. Dubhtach sniffed again and then took a running leap over the railing and into the garden.

"Oh Jesus!" groaned Ianto, as he and Jack clambered over the railing and dropped into the garden with muffled thumps. Thank God the grass was soft.

They chased after Dubhtach in the dark grounds and Jack growled, "We should have brought torches."

"Shoulda woulda coulda!" snapped Ianto as Dubhtach broke her training and started charging across the lawn, letting out an anxious bark. "Dubhtach! Wait!"

But the dog disappeared behind some of the bushes. Jack and Ianto broke into a run, which became an all out sprint when they heard Dubhtach start to bark again. Jack hurdled over the bushes and Ianto ran around them as they neared the source of the barking. When they reached it, Dubhtach stopped barking and started whining in the back of her throat. They both stopped short as they saw her.

"Oh God!"

Michaela was splayed out on the ground, in a large T-shirt and nothing else. She was bare-foot, arms stretched out around her head and the side of her face was white in the moonlight. For a horrible moment they both thought she was dead.

But as Jack touched the first part he could reach, which was her bare leg, he was relieved to find some warmth and he then checked her pulse. It wasn't strong, but it was there and she was breathing. But she wasn't moving, and didn't respond when they called her name. "We need Owen." decided Jack, pulling out his phone and dialling the number. It rang too many times for Jack's anxious nerves as he and Ianto tried to wake Michaela up. Ianto was raking his fingers through her hair, lowering his face to hers and calling her name into her ear.

"What?" growled Owen as he finally answered.

"Owen! Get dressed and get out into the gardens! Michaela's unconscious and we can't wake her up."

"Is she breathing?" asked Owen, sounding more alert.

"Yes, but her pulse doesn't feel that strong."

"Ok, don't move her, just to be safe. Can you see any blood?"

Jack glanced around, saying "It's too dark, we've just got moonlight, but none that I can feel."

"Ok, have you got something to cover her with?"

"My coat."

"Great. I'll be right down."

Jack hung up and shucked his coat off. It was freezing cold outside, with the crystal clear sky letting the meagre winter heat escape. There would be frost in the morning. Jack covered Michaela with the coat and tucked it under her.

"Why won't she wake up?" groaned Ianto, running his fingers through her hair.

"I don't know. Look, Ianto, go and wait for Owen so he can find us. I'll stay with her. Go on! Go."

Ianto moved away after a moment's hesitation, leaving Jack alone with the unconscious girl. Jack kept checking her pulse. It was too weak for him.

"C'mon Mouse, don't you dare stop breathing. Not today! I still owe you a kiss. And I want to see how you managed to train the dog so well. And I want to understand why you don't trust us any more."

He lifted his hand and stroked her cheek. It was chalk white in the moonlight, and felt brittle under his touch. Her lips were chapped as he ran his finger over them.

Dubhtach whined in the back of her throat again and nosed Michaela's hand, licking it with her huge tongue. She lifted a paw and padded at the hand, licking the skin again, like a mother whose new-born pup is not breathing and is trying to help. Jack reached out and patted the dog's head affectionately. But he knew Dubhtach could sense his distress as she licked his wrist and whined again.

"I know. I know. But she'll be fine." he murmured to the magnificent animal. And she really was magnificent. In the moonlight she was standing tall and proud, straight backed and prepared to take on any one who would dare harm her mistress. Jack would have loved dearly to set her on Connors.

Glancing back down at Michaela, Jack wondered what in the world she'd been thinking agreeing to do something like that with him. Jack understood hateful sex, understood having sex with someone you can't stand could be exhilarating and satisfying, but he knew, from personal experience, that this girl would never find pleasure in it.

As he stroked Michaela's cheek soothingly, Jack wondered if he could maybe help her. He'd been able to push his life energy into Carys and Ianto, so maybe he could do something to help Micka-Mouse. Didn't she deserve some help?

Jack gently moved her arm out of the way and leaned forward. It was awkward, because she was on her front and Jack was afraid to move her too much. But he was able to roll her onto her side enough so he could lean forward and press his lips to hers.

"Jesus Jack! Put her down!"

Jack pulled away, "I was trying to help." he said as Owen, Ianto and Tosh hurried over. Owen was carrying his medical bag that he'd refused to leave behind in Cardiff. Tosh and Ianto both held torches.

"Yeah well let me do the helping." snapped Owen as he knelt down next to Michaela and rested his hands on her ribs, calling "Michaela, can you hear me?" And when she didn't answer, Owen pulled the coat off her and started listening to her heart and lungs.

"Gwen and Rhys are clearing her room so we can bring her up. They heard us rushing around." said Tosh as she pulled Jack and Ianto away to give Owen room. "What happened?"

"We don't know, we just found her like this." said Jack.

"It was Dubhtach who let us know something was wrong." said Ianto, holding tight to the dog's collar as she strained to go back to her mistress's side. It was a genuine struggle as he snapped, "Sit!" at her. Dubhtach reluctantly obeyed but she didn't take her eyes off Michaela and Owen. Owen had rolled Michaela onto her back and was gently probing her stomach. Then he straightened up and said,

"Right, Jack, Ianto one of you pick her up and we'll bring her upstairs. Let's warm her up and see if I can wake her. I'm not finding anything to explain why she's unconscious."

Ianto hurried to gather Michaela up into his arms and Owen rewrapped her in the coat. They hurried to the hotel, and met Archie in the Foyer. Apparently he too had heard the commotion.

"What's the matter with her?" he demanded, rushing over.

"We're not sure. We're bringing her upstairs so Owen can check her out properly." said Jack, resting a hand on Archie's shoulder.

"Damnit! This is all my fault." said Archie desperately.

"Archie, how could it be your fault?" asked Jack reasonably as they entered the lift.

"I let her isolate herself in Torchwood House. I didn't push her, she was just so angry with me."

"Angry?"

"I… I told her something and she was furious with me."

"Archie she adores you." said Ianto.

"Yeah well you're not the only one who's fucked up lately." growled Archie.

"C'mon now, chat after we get her settled." said Owen sharply as the door opened and they moved down the corridor.

"Owen… she doesn't weigh anything." said Ianto glancing down at her pale face as he cradled her in his arms. Her lips were blue tinged.

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure she's undernourished. She's too damn skinny. But I'll take a proper look first before we decide to panic, ok? In we go."

Ianto hurried into Michaela's room. Gwen and Rhys had swept all the mess into the corner out of the way, stood the cushioned chair on its legs and pulled the sheets away so Ianto could lay her down. He pulled the coat off her gently and stepped back so Owen could kneel on the bed and start checking her over properly. Dubhtach sat on the floor at the other side of the bed and watched him intently

Jack, uncomfortable with just standing there, said, "Gwen, take Tosh and find out where Lieutenant Connors is sleeping."

"You think he did this?" asked Gwen at once, narrowing her eyes in anger at the idea.

"I don't want to take the chance, go on."

They nodded and left. Archie stood at the foot of the bed next to Rhys and wrung his hands. Rhys was in his boxers and a t-shirt, and looked out of place now that Gwen was gone.

"Anything we can do Owen?" asked Jack.

"Check her bags, see if there's anything, pills, drink, anything at all." said Owen as he flashed a light in Michaela's eyes. Ianto immediately started searching. Owen put the torch away and began feeling her neck, then her ribs. Jack glanced at her legs and noticed her tattoo standing out very green against the pale skin. The legs seemed skinnier than he remembered. So did her arms, and Owen's hands seemed very close together as he felt her ribs.

"I found something." said Ianto, pulling out a large bottle that rattled loudly. "It's 300 painkillers… unopened."

"So, she hasn't taken any of them." said Owen, "Besides, that doesn't explain how she ended up in the garden."

"There's a note on the side." Ianto squinted at it, reading aloud, "'Go to the darkness for your failures'… what?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" asked Archie, still wringing his hands.

"There's enough pills in here to kill someone." said Ianto softly.

"And if we'd lost the trial she'd have seen it as a failure." said Jack quietly.

"She was gonna kill herself if she lost the trial." said Ianto in a hushed voice. He set the bottle down in disgust. Jack sucked in a horrified breath.

"Ok, gentlemen, if you'd all leave, I'm about to check her over under her t-shirt." said Owen firmly. Jack and Ianto nodded and ushered Archie, who seemed to have slumped into a state of shock out of the room, followed by Rhys. Ianto closed the door most of the way and leaned against the wall. Jack put his arm around his shoulders, holding him close. Ianto's hand came up and closed around his. They stood in silence for a few minutes, then Ianto asked quietly,

"What did you tell her Archie?"

"Huh?" grunted Archie, giving a start.

"You said she was angry with you about something… what was it?"

Archie sighed and shook his head, "I was trying to help."

"What was it Archie?" asked Jack gently, aware of how old Archie looked.

"It was about why I sent you to London."

"You said I was to go there because the job opportunities were better."

"That was true, but there was another reason. It was because of you and her."

Ianto frowned at him, and Jack held him a little tighter.

"Her and… you mean how we were together?"

"Aye. I sent you down to London because I saw what you two were doing."

"We were-"

"Just let me speak lad." said Archie, raising his hand for silence. Ianto closed his mouth and nodded, "Now… you two thought you were grand. That you were doing great. But I could see that wasn't the case. You were turning inwards more and more. You were all but living in the Torchwood House. I know you thought it was all normal because you two were together, but I saw two kids who were so scared of the outside world, they were crafting their own. You didn't go out for food, to socialise-"

"We had each other!"

"You see, you still don't realise what you were doing. Ianto, ye weren't spending all your time together because you were in love. Ye were doin' it to get away from a world that had knocked you over so many times. Ye were becoming introverts, isolating yourselves."

"So you made us break up for that?" demanded Ianto. Jack tightened his grip again. Archie shook his head,

"No. I sent you to London so she would follow you. London, the heart of England, with eight hundred other people in the same building as you. It was the perfect way of snapping you both out of it. But you went and she never followed. You never invited her down and she didn't feel welcome once you fell for that Lisa lass."

"You… you manipulated us." murmured Ianto. Archie swallowed and nodded,

"Aye, I did. But it didn't work."

"What gave you the right to manipulate us like that?"

"I was trying to help you! You thought you knew all, done all, didn't need to be told what to do. I tried to be subtle, but you didn't want to hear it, and neither did she. She was so damn determined to be ok after everything that bastard had done to her… that she kept pushing. So I took a drastic action. But I never thought you two, who were joined at the bloody hip for almost a year would just throw away everything you had because distance was an issue."

"We didn't throw anything away!" snapped Ianto.

"Then why did you never ask her down?" asked Archie coolly.

Ianto scowled, "Well it's not like she was all alone. She found Jack didn't she?"

"For a week! And she only did that 'cause I told her to."

"You did what?" shouted Ianto. Jack covered his mouth with his hand to quiet him down.

"What do you mean you told her to?" he asked coolly. Archie tutted and shook his head.

"Jack, ye might think yer the cat's well endowed pyjamas, but if I hadn't sworn up and down that Micka could trust you in her bed, she'd have run away from you every single time."

"You've been manipulating her for years!" snapped Ianto through Jack's fingers.

"No! I've been trying to help her. I never pushed her into anything. She came to me in a tizzy about Jack coming on to her, she was damn near terrified and I told her not be scared of Jack. If she could trust anyone, it was Jack, because despite all the rumours of his sex addiction and mania and whatever else they called it, there'd never been a single complaint by anyone of feelin' used. I knew Jack would be good for her, give her a confidence boost. If I hadn't I'd have told him where to go with my foot up his arse!"

"Hey now, lets keep it quiet." said Rhys gesturing downwards with his hands. "People are trying to sleep."

"I don't care. You can't just mess with someone like that." said Ianto furiously.

"Oh yeah, you've been no better! In any case I told Micka all this and naturally she was furious. Hasn't spoken to me until this trial started. Which made it harder for me to watch over her."

"So you knew something was wrong?"

"Aye, and I told you as much while we were waiting for the verdict. But I don't know the extent of the problem."

"Well, I can give you some enlightening info." said Owen emerging from the room and gently closing the door.

"Well?"

"Well, as near as I can tell she collapsed from complete exhaustion. She's also malnourished. I mean badly. I'd go as far to say anorexic, but I don't think she's got the mental aspects of the condition. She's underweight, her hair's thinning and… well there was one odd thing."

"What?"

"Well… it looked like she took a marker and… drew out her organs."

Jack glanced around and saw the other's expressions matched his. Utter bafflement. "Her organs?"

"Not all of them. But the kidneys, the liver, her ovaries, and her lungs and heart. She drew them onto her skin and then she wrote the name Blaine in each one. Does that name mean anything… I guess it does judging by your expressions." Owen looked a little alarmed at Ianto and Archie's identical furious expressions.

"Who's Blaine?" asked Rhys, ever curious.

"A man who deserves to die." growled Archie. "Bastard…"

"He hurt her. A lot." said Ianto quietly. Owen's eyes lit up in understanding and he grimaced.

"Well, any idea what the drawings mean? There's no evidence of self-harm, just the drawings."

Ianto shook his head. Archie grunted as he said,

"No, no idea. But why would she be thinking about Blaine now? She saw a shrink, surely she should be able to… what?"

Ianto had winced and now looked ashamed. Archie narrowed his eyes at him, "Ianto?"

Ianto, looking a little like a naughty boy, brought his hand up to his mouth and mumbled, "She… she never went to the shrink. She, well she begged me to-"

"To what?"

"To get her out of it, so I lied and pretended to be another shrink and said she'd be seeing me. We didn't feel it was wholly lying. I mean, we were trying-"

"Jesus Christ Ianto! After all the things that man did to her and you think it's a good idea to get her away from someone who can help her?" demanded Archie.

"Hey! You weren't there when she begged me to get her out of it." snapped Ianto.

"Great excuse."

"Shut up the both of you!" snapped Owen, in his best doctor voice. "You've both fucked up royally here it's clear, but it's not helping anyone, least of all the unconscious woman in the next room. Now, someone needs to stay with her so she's not alone when she wakes up. So, who's the best choice? Me, the good for nothing rapist? Ianto, who seems to have driven her to madness? Archie, who helped him? Gwen, who's been butting horns with her since she first appeared in our lives? No? Well that leaves Jack, Tosh and Rhys. Who's the best choice?"

"She doesn't know me. I wouldn't like to wake up and find some stranger watching me as I sleep." said Rhys, looking uncomfortable.

"Tosh then."

"No. Jack." said Archie.

"Archie she doesn't trust me anymore than you or Ianto." said Jack, who just wanted to go to bed now.

"But you can handle her. Toshiko is too sweet to restrain her if she gets aggressive."

"She's ill, not dangerous." snapped Ianto.

"We can't take any risks. Besides, if she is dangerous, it's to herself."

"There's no evidence of self harm."

"Even so."

"If Jack stays I'm staying." said Ianto firmly.

"Ianto-"

"No. I wanna stay with her." said Ianto, setting his jaw.

Jack sighed, "Ianto, I know you think you can help, but remember what she said to you only a few hours ago. Do you really think she'll appreciate waking up to find you there?"

"You don't know she won't."

"Ianto, go to bed!" snapped Owen, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "If she's not woken before you, you can pop in and take the dog out to take a dump. Now go on. I'd like to get some sleep so I can look after her properly in the morning."

Ianto looked like he wanted to argue, but Owen span him around by the shoulders and shoved him down the corridor. He stumbled, but then skulked back to his and Jack's room. Jack sighed,

"Owen, she thinks I'm out to Ret-con her."

"Yeah, well, do you want to leave her to Tosh, who doesn't know her at all, or you, who might have half a chance of getting through to her?"

Jack sighed again and nodded. At that moment Gwen and Tosh arrived back,

"Connors is having sex with some other woman, and sounded like they'd been busy for a while. I don't think he'd anything to do with it." said Gwen, looking disgusted.

"I think she wandered down there on her own, although fuck knows why." said Owen softly, folding his arms. "Jack's gonna watch her and call me if I'm needed. Everyone else, to bed, we'll sort this mess out in the morning."

Jack nodded, and slipped back into Michaela's room, Dubhtach following him. Owen had covered Michaela with the sheets and duvet, letting her hands rest on top, on her tummy. Her hands, which Jack had found delectably small once, now seemed too big at the end of her skinny arms. Her wrists and elbows were bony and, with the paleness of her skin, Jack thought of frosted glass, and how easy it looked like it would be to break her body.

Dubhtach whined in the back of her throat again and climbed onto the bed, sniffing at her mistress's hair as she lay down on her stomach and rested her head on her paws. There was a forlorn look in her big brown eyes.

Jack moved alongside the bed until he was next to her head. She looked like she was sleeping, but there was an unnatural gauntness to her face. Jack perched on the edge of the bed and reached out to stroke some hair out of her face. Owen was right, it felt weak and thin.

"Oh… Micka." he sighed, "Where has your youth gone?"

It was true. He felt like Peter Pan staring down at the rapidly aging Wendy. He almost felt like he was draining her or something.

"Wake up soon, yeah? And let us help you. You saved us… but you should have come to us if you were in trouble. Why didn't you come to us?"

Jack was sorry to say he could probably answer that.

* * *

There'll be some Tosh/Owen in the next chapter. And of course some answers. Or possibly more questions… who knows!

Night's Darkness


	53. Chapter 49

A/N: Hey everyone, sorry for the delayed update.

I just wanted to say something in response to a few reviews I've been getting about the level of depression that this fic has descended to. I can't really say too much because I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say that I am a believer in overcoming problems and happy (if realistic) endings. It was a sore spot for me about RTD's writing (especially for DW which is meant to be for kids as much as adults) that so much ended with the basic message of 'Life Sucks!'. I prefer the approach that Don Bluth has (if you've ever seen American Tale, Secret of N.I.M.H., Land Before Time or anything else by him _(except Thumbelina and Anastasia)_, you'll know what I'm talking about) that viewers/readers can handle anything if there is hope. And I do promise you there is hope in this fic.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 49**

_(16__th__ November 2008)_

Jack dozed, half lost in soft edged memories of the last time he'd been in a bedroom in this hotel with Michaela. He remembered the soft scent of apples and the smooth feel of her skin under his calloused fingers. He remembered the sweet way she'd tilted her head up to look at him, wide eyed and curious.

"Jack?"

Jack jumped, looking around startled as Ianto's voice was followed by soft knocks on the door. Jack rubbed his eyes and sighed,

"Ianto, go to bed."

"Can't sleep. Besides I need to talk to you."

Jack squirmed in his chair, hearing his spine crack as he straightened up. "Ok, fine."

He got out of the bed, glancing at the still unconscious Michaela as he went to the door. He opened the door and let Ianto inside. Ianto had changed into a t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms and his hair was sticking in every direction.

"Ok, what is it you wanted to talk about?" asked Jack. Ianto didn't answer. He was peering at Michaela with a sad expression. "Ianto!"

Ianto started and looked at him, "Right! Sorry." He licked his lips nervously and stepped closer to Jack, saying quietly, "I've been thinking about… well about everything. Stuff just… well it just doesn't add up."

"What stuff exactly?"

"All of it. Michaela would never do what she did with Connors willingly. And why is she so angry all the time? And that word she said to me… butcher."

"Butcher?"

"Yeah, that's what she said. I thought she meant hurting her emotionally. But… what if she literally meant butcher, like an animal?"

Jack frowned and then his eyes widened, appalled, "The outlined organs!"

"They're all used in organ trafficking. Lungs and heart are especially valuable, and Michaela wrote Blaine in them Owen said."

"But what has this got to do with us?"

"I don't know, but what if Blaine made some threat to her that she never told me? What if he said he'd eventually kill her and sell her organs to some creep?"

"Ianto that's a hell of a conclusion."

"I know, but I've been going over and over it in my head, and what if –what if she thinks we're in on it?"

"Ianto, she's ill, she's not mad."

"I know, but-"

Jack pressed his hand to Ianto's lips. "Ianto, stop. I know you want to fix everything. But you have got to stop. This obsessive drive will only make things worse."

"My best friend hates me and is sick, how could it-"

"Don't. Even. Tempt it!" growled Jack. Ianto nodded and stayed quiet. "Now, go back to bed."

Ianto sighed and glanced around, "I hate being on my own!" he groused.

"Why don't you take the dog with you? You can talk to her." said Jack, slightly joking.

Ianto looked at Dubhtach and said, "Well… call me if Michaela starts to wake so I can bring her back. I doubt Michaela will appreciate if she comes to and finds her dog is gone."

"Ok, go on then."

Ianto turned to Dubhtach and called for her to come. Dubhtach lifted her head but didn't move.

"Come on Dubhtach, come."

Dubhtach whined in her throat and rose to her paws as if it was against her own violation. Ianto sighed, "Ok, lie down Dubhtach. No point in forcing you to come with me."

Jack smiled and nodded, "Bunk with Owen if you're that upset."

"Uh, Jack, are you aware that Tosh hasn't slept in her room here once?"

Jack's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Oh."

"Yup. So… yeah, I think I'd rather take on being alone."

"Ok, try to rest. We'll need all the energy we can I think."

"Ok." Ianto sighed. Jack smiled at his sad eyes and kissed him gently.

"We'll figure this out. Don't worry."

Ianto nodded and left the room. Jack returned on his seat and resumed his vigil. About two hours later, as the sun was beginning to turn the sky grey, Michaela stirred. She shifted on the bed, letting out a soft sigh and then turned her head to the side, while her foot slid to the side under the covers. Then she settled down again and only the movement she made afterwards was the rise and fall of her chest. But Jack knew that it was a good sign, it meant she'd probably slipped from unconscious to sleeping. Another hour passed and Ianto came back,

"I'll take Dubhtach outside so she can do her business." he offered quietly. Jack stretched and heard his spine crack. "Unless you wanna stretch your legs." saidIanto.

"Hmm… well maybe you're right." Jack got out of the chair and said, "I could use some air."

"You won't be long. I can watch her. She probably won't wake up before you get back." said Ianto, stepping fully into the room.

"Ok."

"You'll need a poop bag." said Ianto smiling as Jack pulled a face.

"Right… I'll get one from reception. So many of the people who come here have a dog they tend to keep them on hand."

"I bet none of those people would own a dog as big as Dubhtach." said Ianto, "They probably have the ones that fit in their handbags."

"Yeah, you'd be right."

Ianto grimaced, "They look like rats."

"You're just saying that because you and Micka have a weird thing for giant pets."

"A protest to miniaturisation." said Ianto, smirking.

"Whatever. Come on Dubhtach."

Dubhtach didn't move. Jack sighed,

"Is there some magic word I need to use?"

"Yup. Busy-poop time Dubhtach!"

"Please tell me you're ki-"

Dubhtach climbed off the bed at once and stood at Ianto's feet expectantly. Jack blinked at the dog and then raised his eyebrows at Ianto who grinned,

"You say it and she'll know she has to go with you."

"… God help me. Ok, busy-poop time Dubhtach!"

Ianto laughed as Dubhtach moved to Jack's side and waited. Jack glanced around for a leash,

"You don't need a leash. Just be firm and… well, be the Captain and she'll obey you. Take her outside, she'll do her stuff, clean it up and then tell her to follow you."

"Right."

Jack brought Dubhtach downstairs and the wolfhound did her business. As Jack waited for her to finish, General Oduya and Lieutenant Connors walked up to him.

"Good morning Captain!"

"General." said Jack coolly, wishing Dubhtach would finish up now as Connors glanced at the dog and smirked.

"I can't tell you how glad I am that all that mess is behind us now." said the General.

"Yeah…" Jack thought of the girl in the bed and disagreed that this was over.

"Now, I see you're with Agent Murphy's dog, so you must know where the woman herself is."

"She's unavailable at the moment." said Jack calmly. He refused to look at Connors in case he wound up punching him.

"Ah. Well, when you see her, tell her I wish to talk to her about her setting up a new programme for dog training."

"Dog training?" Jack repeated slowly.

"Indeed. This dog found that bomb after UNIT's best men did not." Oduya gestured at Dubhtach who'd finally straightened her spine and stepped away from her business. "It is very well trained. I think it would be foolish of us both not to take advantage of its skills and get Agent Murphy to train more dogs to do what this one does."

Jack found himself bristling at the repetitive calling of Dubhtach 'it'. The dog had saved them all once and Michaela twice and meant a lot to her. Also,

"You want Michaela to train a bunch of dogs along with travelling between Glasgow, Cardiff and London to make sure we all get along like good little comrades? Doesn't she do enough already?"

"I'm sure she'll be able to handle it."

"Just because she could doesn't mean she should. She's doing plenty already, she shouldn't have to do this as well because you can't be bothered to!"

"Captain, she's the one who trained the dog."

"Then ask her how she did it, but don't try and push her into doing the job for you!"

"We would never-"

"Yeah right!"

Oduya drew himself up with a deep breath, then said stiffly, "Where is Agent Murphy?"

"Unavailable."

"I wish to talk to-"

"Did ye not hear him Oduya?" asked Archie sharply as he strode over, looking like he'd not slept last night. "She's not available at the moment. And don't bother calling her, she won't answer."

"Where is she?" asked Connors a slimy, knowing look on his face.

"She's not well. She's resting." said Archie coolly, his eyes burning with disgust as he looked at Connors. A look that Oduya clearly interpreted as dislike for Connors being the prosecution and thought immature by the look on his face.

"Well when she's able, have her contact us."

"You-"

"We will!" said Archie shifting his foot and crushing Jack's toe. Oduya and Connors walked away. Archie's cheeks coloured as he rounded on Jack and said, "Clean up that shit and get your arse back upstairs! We can't leave you lot alone for two minutes with anyone else can we."

Jack fumed but conceded he'd lost sight of himself. And it was worse when he could almost feel Dubhtach judging him as he cleaned up after her.

"For a lady who makes stool on a pavilion and expects others to clean it up for her you're very judgemental." he said to her as he finished and threw away the bag. Dubhtach lifted her nose into the air and seemed to composedly ignore him until he said, "Follow." which she did obediently.

Back in the room, Jack found Ianto talking to Michaela as he played with her hair. Michaela had rolled onto her side and curled up a little, her hands near her face now.

"She moved when I started talking so… what happened, you look pissed?"

"Oduya wants her to start some training school for dogs on top of everything else! Does UNIT expect her to say yes to everything?"

"Maybe." said Ianto softly as Dubhtach climbed back onto the bed and lay down next to her mistress. "I'm starting to think Michaela has a hard time saying no to them. Probably to keep them from being pissed with us."

"Yeah well Archie's not happy with me for how I reacted to Oduya."

"Who cares? He manipulated her." snapped Ianto.

"Yeah and you were a jackass, it all goes around." said Jack shortly. Ianto flushed and glanced down. Jack sighed and reached out, taking Ianto's hand and tugging him to his feet. He put his arms around Ianto and held him close, saying, "I'm sorry. But… you gotta see you have a responsibility here too."

"I should have listened to you." murmured Ianto, "I should have listened to Owen. Shouldn't have been so relentless with the calls."

"You made a mistake. It's time to fix it."

"How?"

"Right now? We just have to look after her and see what happens when she wakes up."

Ianto nodded into Jack's shoulder and sighed. "I'm so tired of all this fucked up crap."

"I know. So am I. But maybe this is it, maybe this is the last thing we'll have to do."

"I really hope so."

"Go and get something to eat. I'll keep an eye on her."

"Not hungry."

"Go on, and bring me up something when you're done."

Ianto sighed again and nodded, "Ok."

"Did Owen pop in?"

"Called a minute ago, said he was just getting a bite, so he'd be able to look over her properly."

"And you go and do the same."

"Ok. I'm going, I'm going."

~*~

"I'm putting her on a drip." decided Owen. "I'd hoped she'd have woken up on her own and we'd have been able to feed her something. But at this point, I'd rather get some nutrients in her."

"Can you do that here?" asked Jack, scratching Dubhtach's ears as she'd been chased away from the bed by the doctor and had retreated to Jack's side.

"I can do it old fashioned style, no machine to regulate it, but it's not going to do much damage if it's not exactly even. She needs to be fed though. Looks like she's not eaten in days."

"I haven't seen her eat here."

"Neither have I." sighed Owen, shaking his head. "I should have seen she was ill. But I was so desperate for our own problems to stop that I ignored what was right in front of me."

"We all ignored it." said Jack. "But we're here now, and we're trying to help."

"Let's hope it'll be enough."

"It will be. It has to be."

"You need anything?"

"Nah, Ianto's bringing stuff up after he eats."

"Good. Call me if she wakes up, yeah?"

"Yeah. And Owen?"

"Hmm?"

"You hurt Tosh I won't hold Ianto back."

Owen blinked and stared at Jack for a long moment. Then he said quietly, "Noted."

Jack gave him a bright smile and Owen beat a hasty retreat. Jack sat down in his seat again and tried to get comfy. He wished he'd had the foresight to bring a book. Then he wondered if Michaela might've brought one.

Getting up again he went to her suitcase and checked inside, but there was nothing but the t-shirt and jeans that he'd seen before. Jack plucked out the four turtle figures and stared at them for a moment.

'_What was someone smoking to come up with ninjutsu wielding, adolescent, mutated reptiles?'_ he wondered idly. Then he had an idea.

He moved to where Michaela had left her laptop on the dresser and picked it up. It, thankfully, had not been damaged. Using his wrist strap to break through the password, Jack accessed the internet and went looking for episodes of this show to watch. It felt like something he could try to use to connect with Michaela. If she'd brought the toys with her, they must have some importance to her, like that red rocket Ianto thought Jack didn't know about.

He quickly found what he wanted and came to a swift conclusion.

'_That is one catchy theme song!' _

Ianto came back to find Jack watching the show with some bewilderment. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Trying to understand the appeal. This is just insane… why pizza!?"

"Why does Myfanwy like chocolate?"

"… touché."

Ianto smiled and held out a plate. "Got you some bacon and eggs."

"Thanks." Jack took the plate and lifted the cover. "Do I get coff-"

Ianto set down a mug of coffee with a knowing smirk. Jack grinned, "My hero." Ianto flushed and his smirk became a smile. "How're the others?"

"Gwen won't let Rhys out of her sight. And Tosh and Owen are trying to be discreet. It's hilarious."

"Well, until Micka wakes up, we're not going anywhere. So-"

Jack's words were cut off by a loud gasp as Michaela sat up like she'd just heard an explosion. Jack jumped and the laptop toppled out of his lap, while Ianto knocked over the coffee as he spun around.

"'Kaela!" Ianto cried. Michaela looked at him, her eyes huge, and then at Jack who tried to stay calm. Her eyes then jumped to the IV in her arm and widened to such a degree Jack wondered if they'd fall out. Then she shrieked and ripped it out before either of them could blink. Blood spattered the white sheets and flowed down her arm. "No. Michaela don't-"

Michaela reached under the pillow and pulled out a gun, aiming it straight at Ianto's head. Ianto jumped back as he and Jack both raised their hands. Jack was furious. How had no one found that gun under her pillow?

Clearly this team needed re-training in quite a few areas.

~*~

Owen found Tosh in the tea room curled up with a book.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Tosh looked up and smiled at him. Owen smiled back and slid down beside her. "Yes actually, it's quite good."

Owen smiled and cautiously put his arm around her shoulders. Tosh blushed and kept her eyes on the book. Owen coughed lightly and looked around the room, feeling awkward like a teenager. Despite what Ianto kept singing in his ear whenever he got the chance, the two of them had not gotten further than a few kisses. True, they were sharing a bed, but that was a trust thing more than a relationship thing right now. Tosh was still waiting for Owen to pull the rug from under her feet and stick his tongue out at her, telling her it had all been a joke.

Owen had recently come to the conclusion that he was a total arse.

"How's Michaela?"

"I put her on a drip, but she's still not woken up."

"Maybe she just needs time." said Tosh softly.

"Yeah, I hope so. Ianto's loosing it over her."

Tosh smiled a little, "He cares about her."

"I know, and I have to admit she's grown on me a bit too… although that may be from being around Ianto so much now. But I don't want Ianto going over the edge."

"I don't think he will." said Tosh, setting down her book.

"Why not?"

"Because he's got her to focus on. And he's got you and Jack. He wants to hold it together now."

"Well, let's hope he can."

"Of course he will. He's strong. Just like you."

Owen smiled and pulled Tosh closer so she could lean against him as she read her book.

"Well," hesighed, "I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't wake up until tomorrow."

~*~

"Michaela, put the gun down."

"No!" she snapped clambering out of the bed, all the while keeping the gun pointed at Ianto's head. Jack shifted on his feet, wondering if he could get in front of Ianto. Dubhtach quickly moved to her mistress' side and sat on her haunches as Michaela pressed her back against the wall. Her eyes flew from the door to them to the window and then back. "I knew it! I knew you were with him."

"Who?" asked Jack, although he had an inkling of suspicion.

"Blaine! I knew you were working with him. You think I didn't know he was there?"

"Where? Blaine was near you? What did he do?" asked Ianto trying to step forward but backing up when Michaela took the safety off the gun.

"Don't play dumb with me! I'm not an idiot." she snapped, holding herself steady by pressing her hand to the wall. "I knew he was out there. Every night he was prowling around outside the House. I could hear him, I saw him!"

"You saw him? Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!"

Jack did not believe her. Actually, no, he believed that she believed in what she saw, but he didn't believe it was real. He did not know much about this Blaine guy, but he doubted that the man had spent every night outside Torchwood House.

"Michaela, why would he be outside the House?"

"So I couldn't run away!" she shrieked, flailing and spattering blood on the walls. "So I was stuck in there until I'd served my purpose."

"What purpose?"

"What purp –the fucking trial! What else? All you cared about was the trial, and now it's over so I've served my purpose. And now you two and Blaine can get rid of me like you planned, like he always planned. Well I won't let you!"

Barely able to walk, Michaela pushed away from the wall and kept the gun pointed at them, but her hand was shaking. "Get out of the way."

Jack didn't move and neither did Ianto. Michaela swayed and ended up holding herself up against the wall again. Ianto leaned forward and reached out a hand, speaking gently,

"Michaela, we're not in league with Blaine, that's… that's impossible. We'd never-"

"You liar!" Michaela jabbed at them with the gun. "I know what you're planning. I know, see!" She grabbed at her t-shirt and lifted it up. Any other time Jack would have made a wise crack about her flashing them, but all he saw was those black drawings of her organs on her pale skin. Owen had not elaborated on how detailed they were. She looked like some sort of anatomical diagram. "I knew what you were planning so I decided to make it easier for you." hissed Michaela, narrowing her eyes at them.

"Easier?" asked Ianto sounding uneasy.

"Yes! If you're gonna gut me and sell me off in pieces… well you may as well know what you're getting."

Jack's eyes widened in disgusted realisation.

Ianto had been right. He'd been completely right.

"Michaela we would never do that!"

"Don't lie to me!" she screamed and the gun, which had been weighing down her arm, was hefted up again so it was pointed at Ianto's head again.

"We're not lying!" said Jack calmly as he raised his hands higher, and wondered what he could say that Michaela would believe. She really did think that he and Ianto were capable of this kind of thinking. Jack tried to imagine what she was thinking, how she was feeling beyond the obvious terror. She was confused, but thought she was clear-headed. She was angry, resentful… and lonely.

Jack could see it, he could almost feel it as it rolled off her. She was convinced no one cared, because she was so lonely, so isolated.

"Michaela, you can trust us-"

"No I can't! Why should I? Everything about you is a lie, one lie and deflection after another. I had to find out everything truthful about you for myself in the Archives. You're a liar and you're more than capable of doing what you're doing so don't tell me you're not!"

"Ok, ok. You're right."

Ianto looked at Jack incredulously, as Jack continued, "I am capable of doing what you think I'm doing, retconning you, killing you… I could do it. I'm capable, yes. But I would never do it! And never to you."

"Oh right." Michaela sneered, "'Never to me'. Because suddenly I'm so special you'll give two shits about me. Don't insult me like that. It's bad enough what you've done already, but don't treat me like an idiot."

"I'm not. I'm trying to make you see that we're not against you. Micka-"

"Don't call me that!"

"Ok, ok." Jack wished he could get Ianto out of the way. He was reluctant to risk upsetting Michaela for Ianto's safety as much as her sanity. "_Michaela_. We don't want to hurt you. We just want to help."

He realised the moment he said it, it had been a mistake.

"Help? Help!" snorted Michaela, all the colour fleeing her face now. Her ire was unable to battle her exhausted body. "Since when have you ever cared about me enough to 'help' me? All you did was fuck me and swan off to him." She glared at Ianto. "Why is it you who gets the team, the friends, the brother, the lover? Every time, it's always you, ALWAYS!"

There was a knock on the door and everyone jumped. Dubhtach whined softly as a familiar, gruff voice called,

"Jack, what's goin' on in there? I heard shouting."

"Archie…" called Jack, unsure what he'd be allowed to say. He knew Michaela was not prepared to use the gun. It did not change the fact that she had a gun and the safety was off.

"Jack?" Archie's voice was more cautious now. He'd sensed something was very wrong.

"Archie… Michaela is awake… and she has a gu-"

"Shut up Jack." Michaela hissed. But Jack knew Archie had got the message.

"I'm coming in." said Archie through the door.

"No you're not! I don't want you anywhere near me." called Michaela viciously.

"I'm coming in Michaela." said Archie firmly and Jack remembered why Archie had been given the job of Torchwood Two's leader. The door clicked open and swung forward slowly. Archie became visibly to Jack long before he became visible to Michaela. He raised his eyebrows in question to Jack who gave a slight nod of reassurance and Archie shut the door. His sharp eyes passed over each of them and he spread his hands to show he had no weapons.

"Michaela…" he sighed, shaking his head. "Look at what we've done to you."

Michaela's face tightened and Jack growled, "Not a great opener, Archie."

"Shut it Jack." said Archie, not taking his eyes off Michaela. "Michaela… we're not goin' to hurt you."

"Says the man who's been lying to me for years."

"What I did was wrong. I did it to help you, but it was still wrong. And I'm sorry for that. But you have to put the gun down."

"No!"

"Michaela, we care about you and we're certainly not going to hurt you." said Archie gently.

"I don't believe you." she snapped. She was on the verge of collapse and all Jack wanted to do was hold her.

"Ok. That's fine, you don't have to believe me. But… just let me say one thing."

"What?"

Archie inclined his head forwards. "Look at Dubhtach."

"What?"

"Look at Dubhtach. Look at her."

Michaela's eyes darted down to look at her dog who stared up at her sadly. Archie continued, "Michaela, you said it yourself, Dubhtach is trained to sense a threat, any threat to you or to others and to protect you from it."

"So?" asked Michaela, but she didn't sound so sure now.

"So, look at her. She's not barking, not growling. She's not even standing to attack. Instead she's watching you. Worrying about you. Because she knows."

Michaela started to tremble. Her knees bent and she was now leaning against the wall, slowly sliding down it. Her eyes were fixed on her dog.

"Dubhtach." she whimpered, sounding betrayed. Dubhtach whined and licked at Michaela's leg, before gazing up at her mistress again.

"Dubhtach knows we're not against you. And even if you don't trust us, you do trust Dubhtach." said Archie calmly.

"She's just a dog." mumbled Michaela dismissively, but without conviction. She was still staring at Dubhtach as she tried to push herself back up the wall into a standing position.

"Yeah. She's a dog, and you're her leader. And that means that she will defend you above all others. That's how you trained her, that's how she behaves. And she knows that we are not against you. She was the one who showed us where you were in the gardens, she has been guarding you all night. And yet she's not once gone on the offensive against us. And that's because Dubhtach knows you and knows we care about you and want to help you."

Michaela let out a whimper and shook her head. Archie stepped forward, saying softly,

"You don't trust us. But you do trust Dubhtach. And Dubhtach trusts us."

Dubhtach gave a soft, agreeable bark and rested a paw on Michaela's knee. Michaela began to cry and she lost the fight inside her. Her legs gave out and she slid down the wall, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. Archie stepped closer, crouching down so he didn't tower over her and he reached out from a respectful distance and said soothingly,

"Give me the gun Michaela."

Michaela shuddered and buried her face in her knees. Dubhtach lifted a paw and gently brushed the gun. There was a soft click of the safety going back on and then, with another nudge from the giant paw the gun slipped from Michaela's hand and clattered to the ground. Archie slowly reached down and picked it up. He passed it behind his back and Jack plucked it out of his fingers and set it on the dresser behind him.

Michaela reached out and wrapped an arm around Dubhtach's neck, pulling the dog close and keeping her face buried in her knees. Soft sniffles escaped her and she was shaking.

Archie looked up at the IV drip Owen had set up and said,

"Ianto, go get your brother. He'll need to put that back in. It's just nutrients, ain't it?"

"Yeah." said Ianto softly, watching Michaela with big sad eyes. Jack nudged him and he shook his head, "I'll, uh, just get him now."

"No…" moaned Michaela, her voice muffled as Ianto hurried out of the room.

Archie spoke in that same soft voice, "It's just nutrients Michaela. It's just to help you feel better."

Michaela shuddered and then she went very still. Her arm dropped from Dubhtach's neck and limply returned to her legs. Dubhtach rose from her haunches and sniffed at Michaela's hair, her spine stiffening with alarm.

"Michaela?" called Archie, frowning. There was no answer. "Michaela, talk to me."

Jack was rushing to her before he realised what he was doing. He reached out to touch her but Dubhtach stepped forward and blocked his way, standing over Michaela, who had stopped moving.

* * *

Yup, there is still hope… I swear to God there is!

Night's Darkness


	54. Chapter 50

How in the hell have I reached chapter 50? *is baffled*

I really wanted to do something special for this chapter, but I couldn't quite manage it, so it's really more like just a normal chapter. But I've been so stressed and busy that I didn't want to put this off any longer. Apologies for the delay.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 50**

_(17__th__ November 2008)_

Owen could not believe his ears when Ianto came running to him and started tugging him by the arm, babbling anxiously. A gun? Organ theft? What the fuck had been going on inside that woman's head?

Upon entering the room Owen was a little tempted to raise his eyes to the heavens and demand of a god he didn't believe in if he had anymore crap-soap drama to throw at them. Jack was calling for Michaela to wake up while Dubhtach stood in his way of reaching her. Archie was standing next to Jack, looking more composed but no less worried.

"What happened?" asked Owen patiently.

"She just… she just stopped moving." said Archie quietly. Owen nodded and strode forward. He shoved Jack aside and glared at the dog. But Dubhtach moved at once out of the way and allowed him to crouch down and check Michaela's pulse. It was there, weak but there. Owen rolled his eyes.

"She's just gone unconscious again, she wasn't recovered enough to be getting up, and all the adrenaline she experienced would have drained her. Ianto, lift her to the bed and I'll put a sedative into her drip to allow her body to get all of the bag into her system."

Ianto did as Owen bid and gently lifted Michaela back onto the bed. Owen quickly dug into his bag and replaced the IV needle in her other arm, glad that she hadn't done much damage to the vein when she'd ripped it out. He then found a mild sedative and injected that into her system to keep her under for the 24-hour drip to get into her body.

"We need to get that marker off her." said Ianto out of nowhere.

"Figured out what it means then?" asked Owen turning to his brother. Ianto shivered.

"Blaine was going to sell her organs when he got tired of her."

Owen blinked hard at his brother, then turned back to the unconscious woman. "You are far more together than you ought to be." he said to her, shaking his head in utter disgust.

"She never told me." said Ianto quietly. "If I'd known… maybe I'd have tried harder to get her help."

"Yeah well this pity fest isn't for you Ianto. So don't try to make it." said Owen shortly. He winced at how angry he sounded. "Sorry."

"It's ok. You're right. I should be focused on her… except I don't know what to do." said Ianto, "I mean, being there for her… doesn't sound like enough, doesn't seem like it'll be any help."

"It will be." said Jack. "Much of this happened because we weren't there and she was alone. Just being there, it will help. But we all have to remember that she can't force us away. It doesn't matter what she says, what she does, we can't abandon her. It'll prove to her that she was right not to trust us."

Ianto clenched and unclenched his hands uselessly at his sides. "Is there nothing else we can do?"

"We need to get her real help, maybe we should consider putting her in a place like Providence Park." said Owen reluctantly.

"She'll hate it." said Ianto.

"Doesn't matter if it's in her best interest. What she thinks she wants is probably something not good for her."

"Owen, look, I'm starting to see I don't know her as well as I thought, but I do know she'll get nowhere if you lock her up. Blaine locked her up, she'll just think we're as bad."

"She'll definitely need a shrink." said Owen, deciding not to argue at the moment. "Might be worth looking at the one UNIT suggested for you. If they know about aliens and shit, it'll be easier for Michaela to open up."

"And I suppose if the doctor knows us both… they'll at least know the whole story."

"I assume this shrink is coming to Cardiff, to be easy access, right?" said Jack quickly.

"I'll sort it." said Ianto, "Set them up with a place."

"Good."

Archie, meanwhile, picked up the gun and checked the cartridge.

"Fully loaded. She really did expect to use this." he said quietly. "And she's never shot a thing in her life. Hates guns."

"She hates guns and works for Torchwood?"

"She joined as an archivist. I had her trained, but she's never like them."

"Lets be glad she's not trigger happy." said Jack firmly, "Anyway, we can't stay here much longer, the Rift is completely unguarded. We need to bring her up to Cardiff. But should we wait until the 24 hours are up, or do it today?"

"If we move her we could disturb her. I didn't give her a very strong sedative. Just enough to make her sleepy." said Owen, shaking his head.

"I can stay, bring her up with me tomorrow." said Archie.

"Much as I'd like to Archie, I think we'd better have someone like Owen around just in case."

"Well… I can stay too. I can drive us back up in Gwen's car, if you guys wanna take the SUV's." said Ianto hesitantly.

"Nah, take Two's car, it's a better one than Cooper's."

"Is it a good idea to leave you with her though Ianto?" Jack asked bluntly. He'd no desire to see either of the youths hurt the other by carelessness.

"I can sedate her again for the car ride and we can drive up to Cardiff." said Owen.

"And then what? Where will you bring her? The hospital? The Hub?"

"My house. At least until she's woken up and we can see what state she's in after some sleep and the nutrients." said Ianto.

"It is better than a hotel room or the Hub." conceded Owen.

"I don't want her anywhere near Torchwood until she's better." said Jack. "She needs a break from it."

"Ha! Good luck getting her to see that." said Archie with a snort. "She'll scratch your eyes out if you take away the one thing she's worked so hard to prove herself at."

"Yeah, well, I'll just grow them back." said Jack shortly.

"So it's settled, you lot get back up to Cardiff today, Ianto and I will bring her up tomorrow." said Owen decidedly.

Jack nodded, "Good, I will get in touch with this shrink, see about getting them to take Michaela on as well as Ianto. So, aside from packing there's only one thing I need to do."

"What's that?" asked Ianto, noting Jack's narrowing eyes.

"I'm gonna have a private chat with Lieutenant Connors."

No one said a thing.

~*~

Jack strode into the Foyer where he found Connors talking with General Oduya again. He squared his shoulders and made straight for the soldier.

"Excuse me, may I speak with you Lieutenant?" he asked in a silky voice.

"Of course." said Connors, nodding his head. The General excused himself, leaving Jack alone with Connors. Connors smiled at Jack. "Listen Captain, no hard feelings, right, about the trial? Just doin' my job, you know." He gave a fake chuckle and Jack smiled and nodded,

"Oh yeah, of course, I totally understand." They both chuckled quietly and then Jack said, "Y'know, speaking of jobs… I heard you, uh, got a bit of action off of Michaela."

Connors' smile faltered as he stared at Jack uncertainly, then he said, "Maybe I did. Not one for kissin' and tellin'."

"Oh really, damn. 'Cause, ah…" Jack glanced around, scratching behind his ear with a smirk on his lips, "You're not the only one."

Connors eyebrows rose, "Oh yeah?"

"Yup. This hotel too."

"No kidding." laughed Connors, his shoulders relaxing. Jack nodded, keeping a broad smile on his face.

"Oh yeah, a whole week with her in bed. Wasn't too shabby actually."

"Nice, a week long fuck fest."

"Something like that. And a week is a nice length of time, y'know what I mean?" Jack clapped Connors on the shoulder and Connors chuckled again, nodding.

"Oh yeah, I know."

"It's long enough for you to get to know how a girl likes to be touch isn't it?" laughed Jack, "Long enough for you to know completely that there's absolutely no fucking way a girl like Michaela would ever willing have anything to do with a bastard like you." The smile was gone and Jack's fingers were now digging into Connors' shoulder. Connors' smile fell. Jack stared at him with barely repressed fury. "What'd you do Connors? Drug her? Force her on her knees?"

"No! Nothing like that." said Connors, his smarmy confidence vanishing rapidly. "L-look, I admit I was a bit pushy, but it was her idea."

"I don't believe that for a second." snapped Jack.

"Honestly, it was. She, she said if I'd just leave her alone she'd give me the blowjob. I'm not dumb enough to say no to that, c'mon. Those pretty pink lips-"

Jack dragged him closer so he could spit, "You listen to me, if I so much as hear a peep of you ever again in any way, shape or form I swear on my life you will be beyond sorry. And if I ever catch you near Michaela again, I will make you disappear, and not even UNIT will question it, you hear me?"

Connors nodded, eyes huge in alarm. Jack released him and turned away, striding into the tea room to get Tosh. He didn't look back, he knew he'd made himself perfectly clear.

~*~

_(1__8__th__ November 2008)_

Ianto yawned as he gathered the last of Michaela's things. Not that much was salvageable after her tearing through most of what she owned. He found a two books and glanced at the titles curiously.

"We good to go?"

Ianto stuffed the books into the suitcase as Owen came inside.

"Yeah. Just about."

"Ok, now here comes something a little awkward."

Ianto gave him a bland look, "Because so far everything's been peaches and cream."

"Har, har." drawled Owen before sighing, "The drip is done, she's had it in all night. That's a lot of fluid."

"So…"

"So, we should probably make sure she doesn't have an accident." said Owen raising his eyebrows. Ianto frowned, then blushed.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So… what do we do? Or what do you do?"

"Best thing is to wake her up and let her go herself."

"Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"Well… we'll wake her up but she'll still be out of it. But one of us will have to make sure she goes."

"… you mean me, don't you?"

"I do."

Ianto sighed.

Despite giving her a tiny amount of adrenaline to wake her, Michaela was very slow to revive and when she did open her eyes, she was alarmingly docile as Ianto half carried her into the bathroom. Ianto hoped and prayed to every God imaginable that she never ever remembered the experience.

She was still like this as Ianto tried to lift her off the loo, allowing him to steer her back to the bedroom.

"There's a back way out, so none of UNIT's lot see her like this." said Owen, gesturing to the phone he was hanging up as Ianto entered.

"Good thinking." he said. He took his hand experimentally off of Michaela's shoulder and she just stood there, staring into space, completely motionless. Ianto shared a frown with Owen and he gently pushed on her shoulder. At once her knees bent and he guided her to sit on the bed. "Erm… Owen?"

Owen took out his penlight and quickly checked her pupils. He was being overcautious, but without a proper blood test, he'd no idea if there was anything in her system that they'd missed. Her paranoia had been so strong it made him wonder if he'd been too quick to dismiss drugs of some sort. He wondered if he should have brought her to the hospital, but decided if there really was something seriously wrong with her physically, he'd have spotted it. He was a damn good doctor after all. He was good enough to recognise what he was seeing as Michaela tried to look away from his face but otherwise did not react to the light.

"Shit, she's gone into a stupor."

"A what?" asked Ianto in alarm.

"You'd probably call it catatonia. But this type, avoiding looking at people, but otherwise unresponsive-" Owen demonstrated by taking Michaela's chin and trying to turn her eyes to look at him. Every time she looked away, but her expression did not shift nor did she try to stop him. If it weren't for her moving eyes, it would have appeared that she was completely unaware of it. When Owen let go she continued to stare in the direction he'd tilted her head in. "See?"

"Jesus!" Ianto looked horrified.

"Well right now it's a good thing. As long as she stays like this she'll be easy to move."

"But… why is she like this?"

"Well… used to be it was thought only to be a symptom of schizophrenia. But now there's a new thought that it's actually a symptom of different things, including depression."

"But you don't know?"

"Well… I'd rather have her examined before I make a definitive diagnosis."

Ianto pinched his lips together and nodded. Owen gave a shrug, feeling helpless. "Let's wrap her up in a blanket and get her down to the SUV."

Most of the UNIT personnel were already gone as Ianto carried Michaela down to the car and gently lay her across the back seat, strapping her in carefully. Ianto then dug into his pocket and found Michaela's mp3 player. He was hoping hearing her own choice of music would help her. As he hooked it into the car, and selected a song, Owen came down with their stuff and put it in the boot. Just as Owen climbed into the passenger seat, Ianto pressed play and music began to play,

"_You swear you recall nothing at all_

_That could make you come back down_

_You made up your mind to leave it all behind_

_Now you're forced to fight it out…" _

Owen groaned, "The Fray? Really?"

"It's not too depressing, but it's not happy either… what else was I meant to pick? The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song?"

"Well –wait, she's really got that theme song?"

"Yup."

"… she's a nerd."

Ianto smiled affectionately. "Yup."

"_You fall away from your past_

_But it's following you…"_

Ianto squirmed in his seat and glanced over the back of the seat to check on Michaela. "She's not really blinking, Owen."

"She's ok. I'll keep an eye on her. It's why you're driving."

Ianto nodded, twisting back around and starting the engine. It took a while to get out of London, but after that it was a pretty smooth drive. The air was heavy in the car, because Ianto felt like there was a dead body behind him and it disturbed him. Owen kept glancing back to make sure she was ok, but he never looked anymore reassured when he looked back. After a while, it was Owen who broke the silence.

"Y'know… I was thinking maybe… maybe I could get someone to clean up mum's grave. And dad's. And maybe, we could go to see his together some time. I'd been thinking about suggesting it this weekend, barring sudden imprisonment-"

Ianto chuckled. Owen gave a wry smile, continuing,

"Obviously stuff came up… but what do you think?"

Ianto swallowed and his fingers dug into the steering wheel for a moment. Then he nodded, saying quietly,

"Yeah, sounds… right."

Owen nodded, smiling a little shyly. They were quiet for another while, listening to another song that came on,

"_A fragile heart was broken before__…"_

"She's got nothing more cheerful?" asked Owen. Ianto rolled his eyes.

"It's on shuffle, I'm sure something will come up for you to hate even more. I'm pretty sure there's Labyrinth music on this thing."

"Christ, no thanks!"

Ianto grinned.

"Y'know I saw an offer in a shop for all the Thunderbirds episodes. I was thinking of buying it." said Ianto casually.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup." Ianto shrugged. "Maybe… if you wanted you could come over and see if they're any good sometime. If you want."

Owen shrugged, "Have to talk to the boss about time off I think, if I was gonna give it my full attention."

"I can chat to him, he's got a soft spot for me." said Ianto, quirking an eyebrow.

"Oh, I always thought the soft spot was in your head."

"Then you're not a very good doctor."

"Oi!"

They stopped just long enough to get a drink and let Owen give Michaela a check over. As far as he could tell, she hadn't moved a muscle, literally, which confirmed a catatonic stupor. People often thoughtsuch things meant limp limbs, but in reality sufferers held themselves stiff and still, and the tension in Michaela's body confirmed this. Owen had no doubt whatsoever that she was listening to them, but had no real desire to have any interactions with them or anyone else. Not that Owen could blame her considering she thought they were out to get her.

Ianto gave him a coffee, and they climbed back into the car and continued on, just as the mp3 player switched to,

"_You remind me of the baby_

_What baby? The baby with the power…"_

Owen groaned and covered his ears, "Change it!"

Ianto laughed, and feigned deafness. Owen growled and grabbed the player, changing the song.

"Bet you fancied Bowie in that film." he mumbled.

"God no! He looks like a girl with a dildo stuck down her trousers." said Ianto in horror. Owen laughed. "Besides," added Ianto, quieter now, "I don't really… never mind."

Owen looked at him curiously, "What?"

Ianto heaved a sigh, "You wouldn't believe me."

"Try me." dared Owen. Ianto glanced at him, then said quietly,

"It's only ever been Jack. I never… I never fancied another guy before and not since. It's just Jack because he's… Jack."

Once upon a time, Owen would have tortured Ianto for saying that. Actually, once upon a time, Ianto would have died before confessing that to him. But things were different now, so all Owen said was,

"Huh." and left it at that.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that, and I'll try to get more up soon. But if I can't update real soon, I may take a brief break to recharge my brain. We'll have to see, with my exams coming up, my plotbunnies tend to get really busy upon exam time.

Night's Darkness


	55. Chapter 51

So… yeah it's been a bad time for plot bunnies, because for once my stress level was too high for them to combat. And this really isn't a lull since my exams begin on Tuesday. Which I am in no way ready for. Woot. Combine with some weird moods and some time feeling ill (which really worries me since I ended up in hospital after my last exams and… yeah not something I wanna repeat) and it's been a bad few weeks. I hope this chapter was worth the wait.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 51**

_(18__th__ November 2008)_

Jack snapped his phone shut with a sharp movement as he turned to Gwen and Tosh and said,

"That was Ianto. He and Owen are at Ianto's house and Michaela's all settled. Owen's diagnosed her with catatonia apparently, so God knows what we're supposed to do next."

"I guess we could…" Gwen trailed off, coming up blank.

"Yep." said Jack shortly. "They're gonna stay with her until Archie joins them from his hotel and then they'll be coming in."

"Well it looks like things will be quiet for a while again, so I don't think there's any rush." said Tosh, glancing at her rift predictor.

Jack nodded, "Good." Then his eyes fell on Gwen and they narrowed. "Gwen, my office. Now."

Gwen gave him a bewildered look at his sudden sharp tone. It took her a few moments to remember why Jack might be angry with her. Then her eyes widened to gigantic proportions and she had the grace to look ashamed. Jack turned on his heels and strode into his office, taking a seat and wishing he had some of Ianto's coffee. Gwen came inside and went to take a seat.

"Actually, I'd rather you stay standing for this." said Jack coolly. Gwen started and looked at him nervously. She was clearly beginning to see just how angry Jack was. And Jack was angry. Oh he was so angry. It wasn't just that burning anger he felt flare and then die quickly. No. This was the colder anger of a man who'd realised just how blind he'd been. "So…" he said slowly, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I… Look, Jack, you don't understand-"

"Is that your motto Gwen? 'No one understands poor little me'? 'Cause you use it so often you really should make it your motto."

Gwen flushed, "I know it was wrong of me to do it. I just… I couldn't take the guilt."

"Guilt of your own making. You were fucking Owen, he wasn't making you. In fact, knowing Owen as I do, he wouldn't have bothered if you hadn't offered. He'll make all the comments he wants, but at the end of the day he'll let you make your choices –alien pheromones aside."

"I just needed Rhys to forgive me for it."

"And did he?"

"… No." admitted Gwen sullenly, "He yelled at me and then passed out."

"Good." said Jack, "At least I know my respect for Rhys isn't unfounded. He's not a total pushover."

"Don't you think I regretted it?" demanded Gwen, colour rising in her cheeks further.

"I think you regretted it for you. Because he didn't forgive you and you got no absolution for it."

"I would have thought you would have understood the whole thing with Owen." said Gwen bitingly. Jack leaned forward glaring at her.

"Do not misunderstand me Gwen Cooper." he spat, "Where I come from, you can have sex with whomever you want. But if you promised fidelity to one person alone and then go fuck someone else behind their back, we still consider that breaking an oath. And _that_ we take seriously!"

Gwen recoiled a little and Jack forced himself to sit back and calm down.

"Did you know Ianto knew?"

"No. I… I thought no one had noticed."

"You could have killed Rhys, you weren't trained in Ret-con distribution back then. Hell, even if you hadn't killed him, you still could have given him permanent brain-damage."

Gwen's eyes widened in horror and began to glisten with tears.

"Don't turn the waterworks on me Gwen! You wanna work for Torchwood, then it's time act like a grown up. I'll admit I have been lenient on you when I shouldn't have, but I did that thinking you'd do anything to keep Rhys, even that blip with Owen notwithstanding. But now I know that you selfishly, and willingly endangered his life so you could assuage your guilt, that's all gonna stop." Jack rose to his feet and said, "Here's the thing about actions that you know are wrong. You eventually have to deal with the guilt. And I don't mean telling Rhys the truth, because all that will do is hurt him and he's too damn good to be hurt so bad. No, just like Ianto carries Lisa, Tanizaki, and Annie with him all the time, you have to carry your guilt with you and learn to live with it."

"How is that right?"

"Because you made the mistake when you damn well knew it was wrong!" snapped Jack pointing at her.

"So I'm just supposed to carry this guilt around with me forever?"

Jack stared at her before saying calmly, "Yep."

Gwen's shoulders visibly sagged. Jack pointed at her desk through the window, "Go make sure you're all caught up on your work." He'd said his piece, and now he wanted to relax and enjoy the feeling of freedom and uncongested air in the Hub. As Gwen hurried out, Jack sat back down, let out a satisfying sigh and leaned back in his chair. He felt like he was home.

_(20__th__ November 2008)_

"Do I have to do this so soon?" asked Ianto, well aware that he sounded petulant and too nervous to care.

"Best to get started now." said Owen, leaning forward from the SUV's back seat and leaning his elbows on the two front seats. "The sooner you get cleared, the sooner you can be cleared for all duty."

"Your brother's right Ianto." said Jack, sounding a little wry. Ianto and Owen shot him a glare and he mock recoiled in the driver's seat. "You need to do it."

Ianto sighed and glanced out the window at the door. The UNIT psychiatrist had rented a room at this research hospital in the city. She'd said it was best to have neutral territory for their meetings. Ianto was glad she didn't have to come to his house. Michaela was still out of it, curled up on the bed, staring at the wall of Ianto's guest room. He wasn't sure how that would look at first glance.

A hand touched his shoulder and he glanced back at Owen who gave him a bracing smile,

"Go on. You'll be fine. We'll see you in a bit."

Ianto looked from him to Jack who gave him a smile of reassurance. Ianto drew in a deep, bracing breath and then climbed out of the car. He refused to look back as he went up the stairs and into the building. It was a modern building, with lots of glass so it was filled with sunlight. Ianto went to the Reception desk and, trying hard not to flush with humiliation, asked for Dr. Maxine Hamilton. She was on the 10th floor, and Ianto debated with himself about taking the stairs to delay his arrival. He really did not want to do this. But he really had no choice. UNIT had ordered it, and Jack and Owen both thought it would be good for him. Ianto tried to accept that considering his recent behaviour and his current problem of 'rising to the occasion' he probably did need some form of help. But it really hurt to face it. A physical slap to his dignity and pride.

He took the stairs.

With each floor the sense of dread and the desire to run back came stronger and stronger, until at last he was forcing himself to take those last few steps to the door. He swallowed and knocked gently, half hoping she wouldn't hear him.

"Come in."

Damn.

Ianto opened the door and peered around it. Dr. Hamilton smiled at him welcomingly and rose to her feet. Ianto cynically wondered if that action was to encourage him inside.

"You must be Ianto Jones. I'm Dr. Hamilton. Do come in. I don't bite." she added wryly. Ianto flushed, feeling a bit stupid for acting so timid and entered the room fully. He glanced around the room, taking it all in. There really was a couch there. Jesus he was in therapy! He quickly looked around at other things. Diplomas on the wall, and various objects scattered about the room had given it a used touch. It didn't feel like a room she was just renting, which Ianto guessed was the point. He noted a large library of CDs next to a fancy looking sound system.

Dr. Hamilton herself wasn't quite what Ianto had expected, his mind having jumped from an old, grey hair, stiffly dressed woman, to something… well, something out of a porn film depending on his mood. She was about mid-40's, with brown hair and warm brown eyes. She seemed friendly, but while she was dressed in a nice way, it was clear she was attaining to a more maternal look than an attractive look, no doubt to make her patients more likely to confide in her. Her accent was undoubtedly Manchester, warm and inviting. Actually, as Ianto studied her, he couldn't help but think she was quite like Daphne from Fraiser, a show he'd been fond of when he'd had time to watch TV.

"Would you like to sit down Ianto?" asked Dr. Hamilton, gesturing to the couch. Ianto instantly shook his head, and she smiled, "I know, it's that whole thing about couches and therapy, isn't it?"

Ianto's cheeks warmed and he nodded.

"Well you don't have to sit if you don't want to. You can stand, or lie down. It's all about what makes you comfortable."

Ianto stepped into the room and slowly sat down on the couch. Dr. Hamilton did the same on her chair opposite him.

"So, Ianto. Do you know why you're here?"

"UNIT thinks I'm crazy." said Ianto at once, then winced at his petulance. Dr. Hamilton did not blink.

"Do you think you're crazy, Ianto?"

"I dunno. Maybe." Ianto blinked. He wasn't entirely sure why he'd said that. "Look, I'm just here so you'll clear me for duty."

"Well I can't do that until I know you're ready for it." said Dr. Hamilton.

"I'm ready for it, I've been doing fine lately."

"But you weren't doing fine before?"

"Y –ok no. But I… I just had a bad… month." Ianto explained lamely.

"Tell me about it." said Dr. Hamilton. She was leaning forward in her seat. Ianto knew she was deliberately showing she was listening. But even knowing that did not stop him from finding it a nice sensation. He sighed and looked away.

"It's complicated."

"Ianto, we have all the time in the world for you to tell me. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"If I don't tell you, you'll never clear me."

"Maybe not." she admitted gently, "But I'm not interested in clearing you for some task. I'm interested in you. In helping you."

Ianto swallowed and looked down at his hands, which were clenched on his lap.

"Well… it, I guess it started with this stupid fight over a basketball…"

"How was it?" asked Jack gently as Ianto climbed into the car. Ianto pulled on his seatbelt and shrugged. In his hand he held a notebook. "That part of the therapy?"

"Yeah. I'm supposed to write… stuff into it."

"But you already have a diary, don't you?"

"Yeah, but this is a special one she said. I can use my other for reference, but I'm to write… stuff into this one. I think it's cause it's new, and she doesn't want to encourage any bad habits I might have with my old diary."

"Ah."

"Yep."

"So… pizza?" asked Jack, changing the subject, for which Ianto was very grateful.

"No. Thai?"

"Sure. Sounds good. I'll call Archie, see if he wants anything."

"Where's Owen?"

"At yours. He's trying to get Michaela to respond to him. Not having an iota of luck last I heard. And Archie's not helping, because he's trying to talk to her and Michaela gets up and walks out of the room."

"So she is moving?"

"Owen said that people in stupor's can move as much as they want. It's the unresponsive behaviour to questions and attempts to communicate that classifies it."

"Oh."

"Why don't we invite Tosh around too? Make it a bigger thing, might help keep everyone at ease."

Ianto nodded, knowing Jack was talking about Ianto's anger towards Archie.

"What about Gwen?"

"She's not going home until her paperwork is done. I didn't realise how behind she was. She's as bad as Owen."

Ianto couldn't disagree with that. He curled his fingers around the book like an anchor as he asked hesitantly, "Are we… are we gonna talk about the Retcon thing?"

Jack sighed, "I dunno. Might be better to wait till things are more stable. I don't want to fight anymore."

"Ok. But… maybe getting it over with would be better. Anticipation and all."

Jack shrugged, starting the car and driving off. "If you want." He didn't want to push the subject.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to ruin your fantasy." said Ianto in a rush. Jack nearly missed the turn.

"What?"

"You have this fantasy about Gwen being perfect and I didn't want to ruin it for you. I figured that you needed to have faith in someone and since I'd ruined your faith in me… I guess I just wanted to let you have something to keep you happy."

"Ianto…" Jack sighed, "I appreciate the intentions, but I'm not a child. I am, in fact, the leader of this team. So if one of my teammates does something that dangerous and that stupid I need to know about it. I still can't believe she did it."

Ianto shrugged, he couldn't be bothered to try to justify the action.

"Ianto?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks for caring though." said Jack quietly, staring out the windshield. Ianto gave a tiny smile.

"No problem."

Ianto and Jack returned to Ianto's home to be welcomed by Dubhtach who gave a welcoming, calm 'woof' and then turned away. As she did Jack and Ianto saw something that made them both stare in disbelief.

Sitting on Dubhtach's back like a maharaja was Bart, nose in the air. As Jack and Ianto watched Bart looked back at them and seemed to give a triumphant head flick. Following in their wake was Señor Fluffles, looking miniscule next to the giant dog.

"My house is becoming a menagerie." deadpanned Ianto.

"Yeah. And look, here comes a monkey." said Jack wryly as Owen came down the stairs.

"What was that Harkness?"

"Nothing Owen!"

"Right…" Owen glared at him in suspicion before shrugging and looking at Ianto. "How was it?"

"Stupid." said Ianto at once. "Next subject."

"Tosh is here and keeping Archie company. They're in the sitting room."

"Right."

"And hurry up and dish that food out, I'm starving."

"Ok!"

Jack went into the sitting room while Ianto made for the kitchen. Archie was watching some programme gloomily, while Tosh sat on the other couch looking unsure and watching the animals. Bart was now seemingly studying the best way of dismounting from Dubhtach who seemed in no hurry to lie down. As Jack watched, Bart made his way to the top of her spine, next to her collar, when Dubhtach suddenly sat. Bart didn't have a chance to save himself as he came tumbling down the dog's back, bounced off her tail and landed in a dazed heap of black fluff. Jack bit down on a laugh. If Bart noticed his amusement he would never give Jack peace. Tosh smiled and scooped Bart up, setting him on her lap and stroking his back. Dubhtach lay on her side and Señor hopped over and snuggled up against her belly, settling down to nap with her.

"Well, nice to see the animals are getting on so well." said Jack. He couldn't decide if these three animals were very unique in their behaviour and distinct personalities, or if he had never given earth animals the credit they deserved. Archie snorted.

"It's a zoo in here." he grunted, glancing at the two giant creatures on the floor. "All we're missing is a cat."

Bart sat up on Tosh's knee like a shot at the word cat, his body quivering in nerves as he looked around for the animal.

"Bad idea. Cats like rabbit for dinner." said Jack.

"Hmph! Well, a horse then. Wouldn't be much bigger than that dog." said Archie.

"If you got a Shetland pony then he wouldn't be." said Tosh smiling.

"Aye. I've seen ponies that were smaller than that bloody creature."

"You love her really." smiled Jack.

"Aye. Sure, didn't I get her for Micka when she was a wee pup." said Archie as if it were obvious.

"Oh. Ok then." said Jack not entirely sure how to respond.

"I got her for her when I realise Micka was too scared to be on her own."

"Ah." Jack could guess when.

"Food's up! Come and get it!" called Ianto from the kitchen. Everyone moved lackadaisically to the kitchen and sat at the table. The animals followed. Ianto had left their bowls nearby so they could join the humans in their meal.

As they shared out the food, Owen came in, guiding in Michaela by the arm. An awkward silence fell over everyone as they tried to watch her but not look at her. Michaela allowed Owen to pull her over the threshold but then stopped and refused to move. Owen sighed and shrugged, letting go and moving to the table.

"She'll join us if she wants to." he said at the silent question. They all began eating, but it was so awkward, because even though Michaela was looking away from them all, they could just feel her standing there, like a strange solid ghost haunting them.

It was Dubhtach who actually did something about it. She lifted her head and went to her mistress' side. Then she opened her mouth and closed it around Michaela's hand slowly. Then she tugged and Michaela stepped forward, allowing the dog to take her to the only free seat which was between Tosh and Jack. As her side bumped it, Dubhtach extended a paw and caught the back leg of the chair and pulled it back to allow Michaela to drop into it. She sat and stared at the table, blank faced. Dubhtach whined as Jack cautiously passed a plate of food to her, setting it under her nose.

Michaela's eyes jumped to the ceiling and Dubhtach actually seemed to growl in frustration. Then she arched her back and lowered her head, 'woof'ing at something. On the other side of the table, Bart lifted his head and immediately hurried over. Jack pushed away from the table and watched as Bart climbed onto Dubhtach's head. Dubhtach slowly lifted her head and Bart soared up into the air and was able to hop onto the table. Then he turned around and stared up at Michaela for a moment. Ianto's mouth was open to scold, but he'd paused in astonishment, while Owen had noodles hanging out of his mouth as he watched the tiny rabbit lower his nose and push at Michaela's plate, nudging it towards her. There was a moment of utter stillness and then Michaela's hand came up, dipped into the food and lifted out some chicken, which she duly ate. Jack shook his head, grinning, as Owen finally bit through his noodles and swallowed what he'd eaten to say,

"That was fucking weird!"

Bart, meanwhile, did a weird little backflip and landed in the extra noodles.

"Do you ever think about having these animals checked for alien influences?" asked Jack quietly as he stroked Señor's back. The rabbit was almost purring with pleasure as he lolled onto his side on Ianto's bed. It was late, Tosh and Owen had gone home (either separately or to one, no one had asked), Archie had returned to his hotel room and Michaela was, hopefully, secure in the guest room with 'Wonderdog' Dubhtach watching over her with her sidekick, Bart. Jack and Ianto were getting ready for bed, Ianto finishing brushing his teeth as Jack reclined in bed under the covers.

"Once or twice. But I'd never actually do it."

"How come?"

"Because it's daft. They're just intelligent animals. Now granted I've never seen a dog and a rabbit play nursemaid like tonight before. But even if they were part alien I wouldn't really care. They're my pets and they're brilliant. So… I guess I don't need to know." said Ianto thoughtfully as he wiped his face.

"So, what about me?" asked Jack quietly.

"What about you?" Ianto came over and climbed into the bed.

"What if I was part alien?"

"Honestly, wouldn't surprise me."

"Really?"

"Well, again, what difference does it make to you? If you're not hiding something like a tail, or an extra finger, if you're showing me who you are in that way now, why would it bother me?"

"… hm." Jack smiled and scratched under Señor's chin. His back leg started trembling with pleasure.

"Are you part alien?" asked Ianto, raising his eyebrows.

"Nope. Pure human. Just wondering."

"Ok…" Ianto looked a little bemused but then shrugged and settled under the covers. "Night Jack."

"Night Ianto."

* * *

This was a bit of a filler, but I do solemnly swear that I can (just about) see the end in sight. So unless this plot bunny mutates again (please, dear God no!) this fic is heading for the finish line. (And anyone who is saddened by this fact will rest assured, the sequel is probably just as long, complicated and angsty –not to give too much away of course). I hope you'll all stick around for the finish line at any rate and that it is satisfying for you all.

And yes I am aware the pets are getting more superanimal by the chapter.

Night's Darkness


	56. Chapter 52

A/N: Huzzah! I was struck by inspiration today and wrote out two chapters and started a third. *dances with delight* I will pretty much put the credence to two things. The first happened yesterday when my dad bought me a book on the science behind Doctor Who, and then proceeded to show me a pocket watch he'd bought for a friend (three guesses where my mind went!). If anyone's really interested, yes I squeed. The second thing was I finally got around to watching the Sherlock Holmes film with GDL AND Dominic Keating (I'm also a Trekker who actually liked Enterprise). I did spend most of the movie thinking why do dinosaurs seem to follow our Welshman wherever he goes, and that the styling looked very much like the Torchwood parts with Alice Guppy. All in all, I was in a very Torchwoody mood today, lol.

Enjoy! (and I hope to all heck that I got the therapy stuff right)

* * *

**Chapter 52**

_(22__nd__ November 2008)_

"How have you and your brother been getting on Ianto?"

"Ok. I guess. In fact… actually, even though it seems every other relationship I've got is in the pits in some way… mine and Owen's isn't so bad." Ianto admitted, his fingers trailing over the CDs Dr. Hamilton had. "It's like… all the crap that went on… with the whole team under threat, with 'kaela, made us realise how… petty our issues were. And, since we were the ones who brought it all down, we felt we owed to everyone to get along." He pulled out a CD and grinned, "The Planets by Gustav Holst?"

"I'm rather fond of it. Although I never bought the version with the added Pluto piece. It was composed before Pluto was discovered and, considering Pluto's demotion, it's more appropriate than ever."

"Can I?" asked Ianto, curious now, gesturing to the player.

"Of course."

Ianto set the CD in place and pressed play. He read the back as the music began to emanate from the surround sound speakers. It was a low, throbbing music of trumpets, reminding him of all kinds of sci-fi shows and movies. "Why is Mars first? And Mercury third?"

"No one is very sure. Some think it's a better layout for the music, others think it might be an astrological connection."

"Astrology." snorted Ianto.

"You don't believe in it?"

"Do you?"

Dr. Hamilton smiled, "I try to keep an open mind at all times. If I hadn't, I'd never have been able to work with UNIT and learn that aliens really do exist."

"Huh… but that's not the same as astrology. Astrology is a bunch of superstitious nonsense."

"Why are you so certain of that?"

"Because, how can you possibly believe that a person's behaviour and personality can be determined by finding out what star they were born under?"

"You were born in August, yes?"

"The 18th, yeah."

"So that would make you a Leo."

"So? What would that tell you about me?" challenged Ianto impatiently. Why was she wasting time on this subject? He was here to get better, not chat about stupid nonsense.

"Well… one of the qualities of a Leo is you're incredibly loyal. Once you bond with someone, you never let them go."

Ianto was glad his back was still to the doctor as Mars swelled into loud, thunderous music, making him think of ships preparing for war.

"That's just one of those things… a general comment. It can apply to anyone."

"Does it apply to you, Ianto? Are you loyal to those you love?"

"Of course! Loyalty is important."

"So no matter what happens, you will remain loyal to those you care about? Even if they have hurt you?"

"Y –yes! But that's not always good, is it? You know about Lisa! I was so fucking loyal I risked the world by keeping her alive." snapped Ianto, spinning around to face her.

"Yes, but you were also in love, weren't you?"

"… yes."

Dr. Hamilton gave a small inviting gesture to the couch, "Tell me about Lisa. How did you meet?"

Ianto sighed and returned to the couch, sitting down, "We… I bumped into her in the corridor. I was carrying a load of things and dropped them all over the floor. She stopped to help me and… I guess I was a bit dazzled by her."

"Dazzled?"

"Her eyes. They were… they were beautiful and happy. I remember thinking, I've never seen such happy eyes. And I guess… I guess I wanted to know what made her so happy."

"So you were smitten with her at once? And you fell for her fast?"

"Yes. It really did feel like falling." murmured Ianto, clasping his hands between his knees. "Sometimes I looked at Lisa and I honestly felt like the world has tilted on its side and I couldn't figure out where to put my feet. It was terrifying, but in a great way. I'd never… I never felt like that before."

"You'd never been in love before?"

"Well… no, I mean I loved Michaela, -I still do! But that wasn't the same. And I had a couple of crushes in school, but I was too nervous to approach them, and they wouldn't have given me the time of day anyway."

"So, you would differentiate between loving someone and being in love?"

"… I guess so." said Ianto uncertainly. He wasn't sure he liked this turn of the conversation. It felt like he was letting someone down.

"Ianto, do you feel like you're not being faithful to Michaela when you talk about your feelings for Lisa? That you're dismissing her part in your life?"

Startled by the perceptive question, Ianto nodded. "I do love her. But it wasn't the same as with Lisa. And she… she is so angry with me for just dropping her like I did… if I admit that what I feel for her isn't what I felt for Lisa…"

"Ianto, she doesn't need to know. Here is a private place, and this is about you, not Michaela."

"But it is about her! And it's about Lisa and Jack!" exclaimed Ianto, throwing up his hands. "I can't… I do love them. All of them but…"

"Have you ever thought that maybe it's doing them a disservice to want to feel the same about each of them?"

"You –What?"

"Each of them, Michaela, Lisa, Jack, even your brother, are individuals. Surely you should love them for their unique selves and not what they share. So wouldn't it make sense that you should love them differently because they are different?"

"I… I don't know." admitted Ianto, biting his lower lip. He briefly wondered why they were talking about this and not Ivor Jones. "I mean… I risked the world to save Lisa. I don't know if I would do the same for Jack, or for 'kaela."

"When you were trying to save Lisa, did you realise you were risking the world?"

"Of course I did!"

"So in your mind you thought 'I know that this is putting the world and everyone in it at risk, but I don't care.'?" asked Dr. Hamilton raising her eyebrows.

"What? No! I just wanted to save her. She was in so much pain, and I didn't want her to die."

"So if Jack or Michaela were dying, you wouldn't do everything in your power to stop them from dying?"

"Of course I would –oh." Ianto flushed, realising what she was saying. Dr. Hamilton smiled and nodded. "I guess… I would have done the same… then. I mean, now, having been through it with Lisa… I don't think I'd be able to do that again, I'd probably just let, well, let Michaela die-" he shuddered, "But obviously Jack would be different, I mean, he'd just come back."

Dr. Hamilton tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and said nothing for a moment. Meanwhile, Mars had faded to Venus, which was light and high with violins playing. Ianto was positive he'd heard this music in every love scene he'd ever seen on Star Trek the Original Series. He tried to banish William Shatner from his mind as he waited for the doctor to speak. She seemed to be giving him time to say more, but he had nothing more to say.

"Ianto, tell me about Jack, what is your relationship like?"

Ianto groaned inwardly. If that wasn't a million-pound question right there.

"It's… complicated."

"How so?"

"We… we used to just… y'know, have sex. But I… I started to feel more for him. And then he came back from wherever he'd been and asked me out."

"And what did you say?"

"I said yes. We, uh, we went to a restaurant and a film. But… I'm not too comfortable with that."

"Why are you uncomfortable?"

"Yeah. I mean, the thing is, it's just Jack. I've never wanted any other guy. And even now that's still the case. I can look at women and think about how attractive they are… but not with any other guy. It's almost like I don't think about Jack in terms of his gender."

"But you just said you were embarrassed about being seen with him like that in public."

"I know. But when it's just us… I mean, Jack's a guy through and through… believe me." he tried to joke, and was gratified to see a small smile on Dr. Hamilton's face. "When it's just me and Jack, for some reason that doesn't bother me. But once we're in public, I can feel people watching us, judging us and I… I'm sick of being judged."

"How do you feel when you're alone with Jack?"

Ianto shrugged, searching for the right words, "I feel like… it's weird, but I feel safe. I think Jack has that affect on everyone though. He's just able to make you feel like everything will be ok so long as you trust him. And… he seems to know exactly what I… need when we're in bed. Even if what I need is just to sleep. But he's also really thrilling. He's seen so much, done so much, and I just want to be part of that. He's so much bigger than anyone I've known, knows so much… well it's like what 'kaela said at the trial. He's the best for guiding us. And I feel like if I can get close enough, I'll get to see the good stuff, and not just the bad stuff."

"Bad stuff?"

"The Rift spits out so much shit in the world, that sometimes I think there's nothing better out there than Weevils. But Jack came from out there. So, if he came from out there, then it can't be all bad."

"And how are things now? You've both experienced a lot of stress, how has that affected you?"

Ianto went scarlet in half a second and he squirmed in his seat. His ears tuned into the music and he realised they'd talked through Mercury and were now on Jupiter. He picked up the CD case and twirled it around in his fingers. He suddenly laughed as a funny image popped into his head. Dr. Hamilton raised her eyebrows curiously.

"Sorry. I was just… I was thinking that Torchwood is… Well, now Jack is Torchwood. He's the centre, yeah? And I couldn't help but think that he's like Jupiter. The planet I mean. But then I started thinking that that means that me and the rest of the team are like the moons orbiting Jupiter."

"Interesting analogy. Do you think there's something true to it?"

"Maybe… I mean… Jack is larger than life, and Jupiter is the biggest planet in the Solar System. But if I'm a moon, then… there's really only one moon I could be." Ianto snorted with laughter and tried to hide his smile behind his hand.

"Which one Ianto?"

"… Ganymede." sniggered Ianto.

"Ah. The young man Jupiter stole into the heavens to be his personal cup-bearer."

"Yup." Ianto sniggered again. "It's pretty fitting, don't you think?"

"I couldn't say for certain." said Dr. Hamilton, smiling.

"Well… it kinda works."

"Would your teammates be other moons?"

"Yeah. Owen's definitely Callisto. He wears all his scars like a shield. And Tosh… she's Europa. She looks cool and smooth and beautiful, but underneath the surface is hot passion for what she does –plus, Europa's the smallest of the four and so's Tosh.. Gwen… she's Io. Io's always erupting, always burning. That's why she's so fascinating."

"All those names are the names of lovers of Jupiter."

"… yeah. But I guess that's the thing about Jack. Everyone loves him, it's hard not to."

"But Ganymede was the only one Jupiter chose to take up to heaven with him."

Ianto smiled, nodding, "Yeah."

"If you see Torchwood and Jack as one and the same, where does Torchwood Two fit into it?"

Ianto frowned, tilting his head to the side, and thought carefully. At length he said,

"I guess Archie could be Themisto. It orbits alone, and the orbit itself is weird, sorta does its own thing, which is what Archie's always done. He's not one for the rules, it's why I was allowed into the organisation, it's why I'm here today. I mean, he used the rules on us, but that was because he was worried about us… although that doesn't excuse his manipulation of me and 'kaela."

"And what about Michaela? What moon is she?" asked Dr. Hamilton, smiling with interest. Ianto had been sure he'd be able to answer at once, but as he tried to think, he realised he couldn't connect her. Jupiter had 65 'confirmed' moons but not one of them seemed to suit her. No name sat well, no wacky orbit conformed to her behaviour, the last few days notwithstanding.

"I… I don't know." he murmured, feeling disappointed. "She doesn't fit,"

"So does that mean she doesn't belong in Torchwood?"

"No! No, she does. But she's not… I can't think of a moon to fit…" Ianto's eyes, which had been narrowed in anxious thought, now widened in realisation and a soft, "Oh…" escaped his lips.

"Ianto?"

"'kaela's not a moon… because she's the telescope."

"The telescope?"

"Yeah." Ianto felt a smile spread on his lips and he closed his eyes as he remembered just how he'd learned so much about the Solar System.

_(27__th__ March 2003)_

Ianto pushed the door to Torchwood House open and grinned as Dubhtach came running to greet him. The puppy skidded to a stop and sat on her haunches as her training kicked in and she remembered how she was meant to greet people.

"Hey girl." said Ianto, stooping to pet her head, "Where's Michaela?"

"There you are!" said Michaela as she appeared at the top of the stairs and slid down the banisters to greet him with a lightning quick peck on the cheek.

"Here I am. Now, you said you had something cool to show me." said Ianto, "Can I ask why it had to be shown at 11pm?"

"You'll see!" Michaela reached down and took his hand after a slight hesitation. She was getting better at acting before she over thought it. "Come on! Up we go."

Ianto and Dubhtach followed her up the stairs. And then up some more stairs. And then some more. And some more.

"Are we trying to reach heaven?" asked Ianto, breathing a little heavily.

"Sorta! Come on!" Michaela pulled him through a door and then down a corridor and then into a round room. It had one single obvious feature and Ianto knew why he was here at night.

"A telescope?" he asked, slightly disappointed. He wasn't that interested in stargazing.

"This telescope was built by Sir MacLeish and Prince Albert. It was for a slightly different reason than stargazing, but it's since been reconfigured to actually do the original job." explained Michaela.

"Why did Prince Albert build a telescope?" asked Ianto, baffled. Michaela looked at him a little wide-eyed, then said slowly,

"Well… you know how he was in love with everything modern and engineering related. Just another thing to his name really."

"Uh huh… meaning you can't tell me what it's really for." said Ianto wryly. Michaela beamed at him.

"Exactly! Now…" she checked the eyepiece carefully, adjusting it a little. "Aha! There they are! Come and look!" She grabbed his hand again and dragged him over. "Go on! Look."

Her eager smile was so wide that Ianto had to smile too. He leaned forward and peered through the telescope eyepiece. And then,

"Oh wow!"

"Isn't amazing?" gushed Michaela.

It really was amazing. A bright ball of light with four much smaller dots of light hung against inky blackness. They seemed so still and graceful that Ianto felt like they were frozen in time.

"Is that Jupiter?"

"Yup! And then you're seeing its four biggest moons, Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto. They're called the Galilean moons because when Galileo looked through his telescope he could see them like you can right now. It's not too often that you can see the four of them that clearly."

"That's… wow." Ianto straightened up, feeling a little amazed.

"This thing is over 100 years old, and it can see that clearly into the Solar System… it's brilliant, isn't it?" smiled Michaela. Ianto looked down at her and reached for her hand, entwining his fingers with hers.

"Thanks for showing me."

"You're welcome. I got the thought that you might like this stuff… space and what's out there… Do you?"

"I never really thought about it, but… yeah, I guess it's impressive."

Michaela's free hand crept up and curled around his arm. She leaned against him and looked into his face, seemingly hesitant, "What about… what about life out there?"

"Aliens?" Ianto was about to snort at the idea, but something in her face made him consider the question. "Well… I guess… it would be pretty cool if something existed. And people say it's mathematically probable that it will exist in other places."

Michaela licked her lips and Ianto wanted to kiss her. Then Michaela said softly,

"What if… what if I told you I could prove to you that aliens existed?"

Ianto blinked at her.

"Huh?"

_(22__nd__ November 2008)_

"Michaela's the telescope, because she's the one who showed me Torchwood. Without her I wouldn't have Jack, I wouldn't have Owen, or Tosh, or even Gwen and Archie." said Ianto quietly as he opened his eyes. "And… she's also the telescope because she's not the same as us. She doesn't just blindly follow Jack, orbiting around him. She watches him, and is in awe of him, but she isn't as easily swayed by him as the rest of us are. She loves him but… I don't think she's ever let that blind her to his flaws. Like me. She never flinched from my flaws, and still loved me."

"You definitely talk about her like you love her. Just like you talked about Jack and Lisa." said Dr. Hamilton, matching the quiet of Ianto's tone. Saturn slowly swelled around them, a strange, bittersweetness in the music. Ianto smiled,

"I do love her. She gave me everything I have. She opened me up for Lisa to love, and Lisa made me able to really love Jack, because even though sometimes it hurts like nothing else… the thrill I get when I'm with him… it seems to be worth it."

Dr. Hamilton smiled and nodded.

The music swelled louder and louder, heavy drums and trumpets building all around him, becoming more chaotic sounding as it went. Then as it quieted again, Ianto held the CD case between his palms, a corner digging into each and he span it around and around as he said,

"I want to make it right with her. I feel like I let her down and I want to fix it. But with the way things are at the moment… she's catatonic and won't let me in. I tried to spend time with her yesterday and she locked herself in the bathroom. Archie was about ready to break the door down when she came out again."

"And what happened then?"

"She just went into the bedroom and got into bed. I hate her like this!" he burst out, "It's like the cold shoulder and the silent treatment at the same time. It's like I don't exist to her anymore."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Upset! Angry! I want her to look at me again. To forgive me. But she won't."

"She may not be in the best place to forgive anyone right now. Why is it so vital to you that she forgive you now?"

"Because I want this to stop! I want… I want things to be good. I want us to be friends again, I want my guilt to go away, I want to able to have sex again!" Ianto snapped his mouth shut too late for that last part to remain trapped inside him.

"How does Michaela forgiving you allow you to have sex? Do you want to have sex with her?"

"No… maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I would like to… I guess it would be nice to be with her, even if it's only once. I'd do what I want to… I mean!" Ianto flushed as he realised how that sounded, "I'd make her feel good. I'd… I'd touch her the way I've always wanted."

"How do you want to touch her?"

Ianto wished he'd never opened his mouth, and was pretty sure all the blood in his body was now filling his cheeks.

"I… we never really did anything like foreplay. It was all get to the main event and nothing else. Just sex. I wanted to kiss her, to… caress her-" Why did that word make him so uncomfortable? "But she wouldn't let me. I know she was scared, but…" Ianto found no more words and gestured with empty hands. Then he said in a quiet voice, "Anyway, I figure out that it was my guilt about how I treated her that's making me… unable to perform."

"In what way are you unable to perform?" asked Dr. Hamilton.

"I… look, I can't get it up!" snapped Ianto, scowling, "Not with Jack, not alone, not anyway. I just can't."

"And you think this is connected to Michaela?"

Ianto shrugged, "There's nothing else it could be?"

"So it has nothing to do with your step-father, or your relationship with Jack?"

"No! It can't be. I've never had this problem before, at least, not like this. Even when I was doing stupid stuff, I was able to get it up with girls."

"I see-"

Ianto's watch gave a soft beep and he glanced at it. "Time's up." he said, very relieved. He wasn't ready for deep analysing about his sexual failings. Dr. Hamilton checked her watch and said,

"So it is. Well Ianto I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? I thought-"

"I think you'll do better if you come to me everyday, just for a couple of sessions. You're doing very well, but I think you'll find it easier if you come everyday. Ok?"

"I…" Ianto strangled for words, but then he gave in and sighed, "Fine."

"Same time?"

Ianto nodded.

"And remember the journal. Anything you think of tonight you want to mention write it down and we'll discuss it."

"Right. Well… bye."

"Goodbye Ianto."

Ianto hurried out of the room, and silently cursed his own slip up all the way down to Jack waiting in the SUV.

* * *

For those of you who were sharp-eyed enough to notice, yes I did change his birthday date from whatever I said it was to the canon version, mostly because when I looked up Leo, I couldn't help but think… yep, that's Ianto.

More shall be soon, and I can still see the end in sight growing ever closer.

Night's Darkness


	57. Chapter 53

My exams are done! *celebrates* Now I get to work for my food *…cries*

I'm really glad many people thought the therapy went well, and I was lucky to be given some really helpful information from wellofwisdom79 over at who is a therapist and thus knows the stuffs it's all about! So any technical stuff will probably be lifted from what she told me, so many thanks to her!

This chapter went a little weird emotionally out of absolutely nowhere, but I'm actually pretty happy with it, so I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 53**

_(22__nd__ November 2008)_

When Ianto and Jack arrived back at Ianto's house, Ianto paused at the door and turned to face Jack with a frown.

"When did you move in?" he asked in some confusion.

"Huh?" Jack tried to look innocent.

"When did you move into my house? Your stuff is everywhere, your clothes are in my wardrobe next to mine… you sleep here now, not the Hub... when did this all happen and why wasn't I informed?"

"I wasn't really aware of it until you told me to put my clothes in the laundry basket the other day." said Jack, shrugging. Ianto's eyes widened in what could have been panic. "Is it a big deal? I mean, technically, Michaela's moved in."

"Michaela's sick! You're not. You're… you're… what the hell are you?" asked Ianto in frustration. Jack puffed out his cheeks as he tried to think of a response. Owen had warned him Ianto would be a little stressed from the therapy, so he wasn't to take any mood swings too seriously.

"I'm Jack." he said finally, "You're Ianto. And we are… together. How much are we together? I don't know. What I do know is, aside from one minor problem-"

"Minor problem for you maybe!"

"I'm pretty damn happy with whatever we've got here. So… what about you?"

Ianto visibly chewed on the inside of his mouth and then said shortly, "I like sharing my bed with you. It's nice not to have to sleep alone."

And with that abrupt answer, he spun on his heels and opened the door. As before, Dubhtach came to greet them, and Bart was following her, his eyes fixed on her swaying tail, much like his eyes liked to fix on Tosh's bra.

"When did Bart become Dubhtach's bitch?" asked Jack quietly as the rabbit followed the dog.

"When he realised she could sit on him and crush him."

"But I can do that!"

"Yes. But once again, you're forgetting that you have a penis and Dubhtach doesn't. Bart doesn't like men. Except me, and I'm not finding that at all complimentary right now."

"It'll be fine-"

"Why is Rhys' coat here?" asked Ianto, cutting across Jack. Sure enough there was an unfamiliar coat bearing the name Harwood's Haulage on it.

"Archie?" called Jack.

"In here!"

Archie was in the sitting room, a book in his huge hands.

"Why is Rhys' coat here?" asked Ianto coolly.

"He's reading to Micka. Said he wanted to help out and that it might make her feel better if someone was talking to her. Since she wants nothing to do with me, and Owen's at the Hub, it made sense to let him have a go. She doesn't seem to mind him." said Archie in a forced calm voice. Jack could tell Ianto's stubborn anger was grating on Archie.

"I'll go check on him, see if he needs anything. Why don't you see about food?" said Jack gently.

Ianto nodded and stepped over Señor who was rolling around on the floor like a sausage roll. Jack climbed the stairs and knocked gently on the door before pushing it open.

"Heya Jack!" said Rhys smiling at him. In his hands he held a book, Jack couldn't see the title, and he was sitting on a chair which he'd dragged to the foot of the bed. Michaela, to Jack's pleasant surprise, had moved so her head was at the foot of the bed and although she still had that blank expression on her face, Jack was certain she was paying Rhys her full attention. "How's Ianto?"

"Cranky." said Jack as a warning, "Therapy's not fun."

"No I'd say not." said Rhys in a buoyant tone. Jack smiled at him, his respect for Rhys increasing as he asked,

"What's the book?"

"Alice Through the looking Glass. I figured something funny and light would be a welcome thing for he- for Michaela." Rhys caught himself and made sure not to act as if Michaela wasn't in the room, something Jack silently commended him for.

"Good idea."

"I think maybe I'd get the Harry Potter books next. Keep her company."

"What about work?"

"Well, I got a mate to keep an eye on things, and if anything really gets outta hand he'll call me. But I figured this was a bit more important. And you lot are so busy defending the world from aliens that I wanted to help out. Besides, Michaela saved you lot, saved Gwen. I don't mind keeping her company."

"It's a good idea, but surely we could get the audiobooks-" Jack cut himself off as Michaela rolled away at the words, putting her back to him. Rhys smiled and touched her hair, smoothing it back.

"That's not the point Jack." he said gently. Jack swallowed and nodded, realising that it wasn't,

"No, you're right. Of course."

"You couldn't get us a cup of tea, could you?" asked Rhys as he hoisted the book up again and prepared to resume reading.

"Rhys, at the moment I feel like marrying you myself." said Jack honestly.

"You'll have to fight Gwen. Feeling lucky?"

"Fair point!" laughed Jack. For the first time Jack realised that nothing could have been better than for Rhys to retain his memories and he was very glad that Gwen had fought for him. Not that he would _ever_ tell her now. "How'd you like your tea?"

"Milk and one sugar."

"On its way."

Rhys nodded and then looked down at the book, saying in a high-pitched voice, "'Crawling at your feet you may observe a Bread-and-butter fly. Its wings are thin slices of bread-and-butter-'"

Jack smiled to himself as he shut the door and turned to go back down the stairs. And promptly tripped over Señor, landing flat on his face.

_(25__th__ November 2008)_

Life had acquired a strange sort of rhythm by now. Jack and Ianto rose at 6am, and they would check on Michaela. Two days ago she'd walked out into the street, but Dubhtach had already retrieved her by the time Jack and Ianto had realised she was gone. But that was the only time she'd not been in bed, staring at the wall. They would leave the door open and keep an eye on her as they dressed. By 7am Archie, yawning and grumbling about ridiculous hours, would arrive and assume the watch. Jack and Ianto would buy breakfast rolls and eat them in the Hub as they checked the Rift detector and Ianto fed the Weevils and Myfanwy. After that it was anyone's guess what the day would throw at them. They'd had countless Weevils, a Hoaix, a strange device that caused teenagers to break down into fits of tears but for some reason didn't affect anyone else (Tosh and Owen thought it was due to the difference in brain chemistry), and a large item that Jack swore up and down was an alien lollipop. If it was true, then the aliens' mouths were the size of a car boot.

At 6pm Ianto would go to see Dr. Hamilton, spend an hour with her and come out, usually in a bad mood. Jack would then take him home.

Rhys was always there when they arrived, and would usually leave a little while after, whenever he'd finished the chapter he was on. Jack wasn't sure what time Rhys usually arrived at, but he did know that they were about to begin the third Harry Potter book.

Rhys was a godsend as far as Jack was concerned these days. He never talked about Michaela like she wasn't in the room, he was very kind with her and didn't seem to object (although Jack knew Gwen would) when Michaela clambered into his lap and curled up like a child as he read to her. Jack was certain that Rhys would make an amazing dad.

That day however, Jack reluctantly asked Rhys to come downstairs and join them as Owen had insisted that they talk about the current situation. The whole team, Archie and Rhys sat in Ianto's sitting room and waited for someone else to speak. Finally, Owen stood up and spoke to the room in general.

"Ok, it's been 8 days since she went into this stupor and she's not getting any better from what I can see. We need to start looking at this as potentially long term."

There was an awkward silence.

"She has been getting a bit better." said Jack carefully.

"Aye, she has." said Rhys, holding Gwen's hand. "She's been sitting up and, sure, Jack can tell you, she climbed into my lap yesterday to listen to me read to her."

"Your lap?" asked Gwen sharply.

"Like a big kid, a kid looking for a cuddle." said Rhys to the room in general and Gwen in particular. Gwen relaxed and looked a bit embarrassed at her reaction. Good, thought Jack.

"Look, there's no denying it, you've had the best reaction from her Rhys," said Owen, "But she's not getting better enough to suggest she's coming out of this. Now, you've been really great with her, but lets face it, we can't keep this up. We all have lives to lead."

"And Michaela's not allowed to have hers?" demanded Archie.

"Michaela's unable to live a life the way she is now. And do you really think she'd want us to give up our lives to care for us?" asked Owen.

"She's in a stupor! She's not dead Owen." snapped Ianto. "Besides, she probably wouldn't object to us taking care of her for a while."

"Look, I don't want to be suggesting this. But I'm the doctor here, and I don't think we can do anything more for her. It's time to look at sending her to somewhere like Providence Park."

"It's been 8 days Owen! Isn't that a bit soon?"

"The sooner we make the decision, the sooner she gets treated by people who know what they're doing. This isn't my area of expertise Jack."

"Then call in someone whose area it is. We can't just send her away like she's nothing." said Gwen, her eyes big and sad.

"We wouldn't be doing it to get rid of her. This is about what's best for Michaela. And I know more than one person here feels like shit about what's happened to her, but this is not about alleviating your guilt. This is about trying to help her. Getting her on anti-depressants might wake her up, but I don't know, this isn't my area!" stressed Owen.

"We don't have to make this decision right now." said Tosh gently, taking Owen's hand. "We just have to start thinking about it. Maybe if we wait a few days, we can think it over and come to a decision."

"But whose decision is it to make?" asked Jack quietly. They all looked at him. "Is it mine and Archie's as head of Torchwood? Is it Owen's as a doctor? Ianto's?"

"What about her parents?" asked Gwen, wiping at her nose.

"There's just her mother, and Michaela has nothing to do with her." said Ianto.

"There's her grandparents, but I dunno who they are, don't know how close they were, if at all." said Archie.

"Maybe they should be the one's making the decision." said Gwen, "They at least deserve to know where she is, don't they?"

"Not if she didn't want them to know."

"How bad can her mother be?" asked Tosh.

"Doesn't matter. Michaela cut her out of her life. We ought to respect that." said Ianto. Owen sat down and buried his face in his hands.

"This is a fucking soap opera." he growled.

"Agreed." grunted Archie.

"Who is listed as Michaela's next of kin?" asked Jack, hoping that would resolve it.

"Archie."

"She must have forgotten to change it." growled Archie.

"Or she wasn't as angry with you as you think." said Jack shortly.

"Well I can't very well ask her now, can I?"

"Why don't you ask her?" asked Rhys.

"Rhys, she's in no condition to-"

"If she's able to walk out of a room to get away from Archie and Ianto, if she's able to listen to me and come looking for a cuddle, then she's obviously together enough to hear what you have to say and she might answer. For all you know it'll be the very thing that'll wake her up."

"It's not that simple Rhys. She didn't consciously choose to be like this." said Owen.

"And if she's really that determined not to go, she'll be as subconsciously aware of that as she is consciously. So surely that should be the decider." said Rhys passionately. Gwen placed her hand on his knee and squeezed reassuringly. Jack realised that Rhys had developed a strong affection for Michaela. And he smiled at the thought.

There was the sound of nails scratching wood and Dubhtach came padding into the room, followed by Bart and Señor. Dubhtach and Señor took up the middle of the floor and seemed to regard each of them before sitting on their haunches. Bart, meanwhile, made a furious beeline for Jack who was sitting in Bart's chair and launched a fierce attack of teeth and nails at Jack's ankles.

"Ow! Fuck! Get him off me." shouted Jack, drawing his ankles up to the seat to protect them.

"Bart!" Ianto lunged for him and tried to pick him up, but Bart kicked his back paws out at Ianto and ran out of the room. Ianto chased after him, while Owen broke the silence by laughing,

"Jack you look like a woman afraid of a mouse!"

Ianto chased Bart around the door and thumped into something, crashing to the ground.

"AH! Shit." he cried as he caught himself on his hands and rolled over to see what he'd hit. The colour fled from his face as he said, "Michaela."

Michaela was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees and still staring at nothing. Ianto swallowed and sat up, shifting to his knees and kneeling in front of her. The others came out and Tosh gasped as she saw Michaela.

"Michaela," groaned Ianto, "How long have you been there? Did you hear everything? Please understand, we just want to help you. We don't want to send you anywhere, but if it'll help you… can you believe us when we say we want to help you?"

Michaela didn't move, her body was so tense Ianto half expected her to snap. She was holding her knees so tight to her body, she wasn't breathing well.

"Ianto let me look at her." said Owen, clapping him on the shoulder. Ianto moved to Jack's side and leaned against him as Jack put an arm around his waist. Owen checked her over and then he sighed, "No change. And I can't get her to move. Rhys, wanna try?"

Rhys nodded and crouched next to Michaela, tapping her hand, "C'mon luv. We can keep going with Prisoner of Azkaban, sound good?"

Michaela turned her head away from him, but Rhys said temptingly, "We were just at the bit where Scabbers has gone missing, remember? Come on, you can have a nice lie down, curl up in the duvet and I'll do Hagrid's voice as much as you want."

Michaela didn't move for a minute, but then she got to her feet and walked upstairs without a look back. Rhys let out a breath of relief and threw the others a smile of reassurance as he followed her. When they were gone, Gwen whimpered,

"That man is bloody perfection, isn't he?"

Owen pulled a sickened face, but there was admiration in his eyes as he cajoled them all back into the sitting room.

"So, what do we do?" asked Archie, staring into the empty fireplace.

"We'll give her six days. A full two weeks will be enough to see if she's really stuck inside her head or not, but the fact that she came down here, seemed to react to what we were saying and did what Rhys asked. So, maybe she's more active than we're seeing all the time."

"She's choosing to be in a stupor?"

"Not exactly, but she's not feeling too inclined to get out of it."

"So… six days." said Jack, folding his arms. "She gets six days and then we'll look into sending her to Providence Park."

"Doesn't seem fair, sending her away." said Ianto quietly.

"It's about what's best for her, Ianto." said Owen. Ianto nodded, his clasped hands pressed against his lips. "Got any strong stuff? I think we all need a drink."

"Yeah. I've got some scotch. I'll get it."

Not much was said as the members of Torchwood drank deep swallows of the scotch and pondered to themselves. Bart slinked back in and for once didn't attack Jack –possibly because he was now standing next to Ianto-, choosing to nuzzle at Gwen's foot and let Gwen cuddle him since she didn't have Rhys to cuddle. Dubhtach and Señor took up positions on either side of Archie and Archie rested his hand on Dubhtach's head. Jack put his arms around Ianto and rested his chin on Ianto's shoulder, while Owen put an arm around Tosh's shoulders and they reclined back into the couch.

"D'you know what I just realised." growled Archie, staring into his drink. The others all looked at him. "We're it. All of us, including Michaela. We're the only active members of Torchwood. From an organisation that was 829 strong the day before Canary Warf to 7. Not since it was begun has the organisation been this small. And even if you count Four… hell, even if you count the other Canary Warf survivors… it's still a tiny number."

Ianto shuddered in Jack's arms and nodded heavily. Archie continued,

"1879. That's the year this organisation was founded. 129 years… Sure Jack!" he laughed suddenly, "We missed your centenary! You joined in 1899, so that means… you're a year away from 110 years at this place."

Jack swallowed and nodded as he realised Archie was right.

"One hundred and ten years…" said Gwen softly, sounding awed. Ianto squeezed Jack's arm.

"Y'know Jack," said Archie as he poured himself another glass, "I think nothing was truer than what Micka said about you at the trial. You're the rock of this place, 'cause you know. You don't believe, you know."

"I'm such a rock I needed you to kick me in the ass." said Jack quietly.

"Aye…" sighed Archie, "And I am sorry about that. I was worried…"

"I know. You were right to." said Jack, "We'd lost focus."

"Have we recovered it though?" asked Owen, running his fingers through Tosh's hair. Jack glanced at him and sighed,

"No. We haven't. Not yet. But… we're getting there."

"And if it comes to it, we'll take a step closer in six days." said Archie, draining his glass. Ianto did the same, grimacing as he wiped his lips.

"I can't imagine Torchwood without you Jack." said Gwen quietly. "It's like, it begins and ends with you."

"That's probably because for most of us, it will. We end eventually, and Jack goes on, and Jack?" Jack looked at Archie, who was staring at him with serious, sober eyes, "I thank God for you."

Jack's throat seemed to close. Tosh sat up and lifted her glass,

"So do I."

Gwen smiled, lifting her glass too, "Me too."

Owen glanced around and sighed, "What the hell, me too." He raised his glass, and so did Archie. Their eyes all went to Ianto who was staring into space. Then he smiled slowly and lifted his glass too, turning his bright eyes to Jack who felt like running away.

"Me too." he whispered.

"To Jack." said Archie.

"To Jack." they chorused and drank deeply. Jack swallowed, feeling tears stinging his eyes and he tightened his arms around Ianto who turned in his grip and hugged him. His cool lips brushed Jack's neck and then his ear as he murmured,

"My Jupiter."

Jack had no idea what that meant, but he was too busy struggling to hold it together to ponder. His heart felt like it was swelling and breaking at once. He sucked in a breath and coughed to get himself under control. He'd never been more thankful for Owen than now as the doctor said loudly,

"Christ why don't we stick on the Thunderbirds before we have to see an Immortal Man blubber like a baby!"

* * *

It really did strike me when I did the math and realised just how long Jack had been at Torchwood and how small the organisation had become in one day. I felt it needed to be addressed after everything before.

And yes, Rhys is eternally awesome in my eyes.

Night's Darkness

P.S. yes I am aware I suck at 'loose' and 'lose'. It's a stupidity thing *hangs head in shame*


	58. Chapter 54

I cannot believe it! Just when I think this damn fic isn't gonna mutate again, the plotbunny gets into the radioactive bananas and bloody well changes! Thankfully it didn't change too much, but it did result in what happens in this chapter. But I'm hoping that it will help condense and balance out the fic.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 54**

_(26__th__ November 2008)_

Ianto was woken by soft kisses to his lips, cheeks and eyes. He grinned and turned to meet the lips in a proper kiss before opening his eyes and smiling at Jack.

"Good morning."

"Morning, morning breath."

"Oh like you're any better." said Ianto, shoving Jack off him and clambering out of bed. "But if it bothers you so much I'll just go brush, shall I?"

"Please." said Jack grinning. Ianto grabbed his comb and chucked it at Jack. "Ow!"

Ianto chuckled as he went into the en suite and started brushing his teeth. Then he heard Jack call,

"Ianto, Dubhtach wants in."

"Huh?" Ianto popped his head around the doorframe, toothbrush still in his mouth.

"Listen, she's scratching to come in." said Jack, frowning. Ianto realised why it was making Jack frown. Dubhtach had never done that before, she'd always stayed with Michaela in the mornings. Ianto quickly ducked back and spat into the sink, dropping his toothbrush and coming back out.

"Open the door." he said grabbing a t-shirt and pulling it over his head, just in case he had to dash outside. Jack did as he was told and Dubhtach was sitting there whining. "What's wrong girl?" asked Ianto, having a hard time repressing flashbacks to the last time this had happened. Dubhtach gave a soft woof and turned away. They followed her to the bathroom door, which was closed and, as it turned out, locked.

"Listen," said Jack, pressing his ear to the door. "The shower's on."

"But… Michaela's not been showering here." said Ianto. In fact the last time Michaela had washed had been when Ianto scrubbed off the marker off her skin. She'd been beginning to smell. She'd been aware enough to use the loo, just not the shower. That seemed to have changed. "What's she doing… I mean, she's not gonna…"

"Relax, I'm sure she won't do something so stupid." said Jack reassuringly.

"You don't know that." groaned Ianto.

"Let's stay calm. Look, she's not shown any indication of wanting to hurt herself. I'm sure she just wants to get clean."

Ianto still didn't look convinced, but he allowed Jack to lead him downstairs and give him some tea. Despite Jack's reassurances, they were both straining to hear the shower turn off. After an age, it seemed, the shower stopped and a few minutes later they heard the door open and the pad of footsteps across the hall. Jack sighed,

"We'd better call Owen and Archie." he said.

"I already texted them." said Ianto, waving his phone and propping his head up with his hand.

"Oh… Good."

A few minutes later Owen and Archie arrived.

"Where is she?" asked Owen, his medical bag in hand.

"In her room. We're waiting to see what she does next." said Jack.

"Good idea." said Owen. Just then they heard the sound of what was definitely a hairdryer. "Do you think she's out of the stupor or what?"

"I dunno. We didn't see her, but Dubhtach didn't seem too worried once she'd brought it to our attention."

"Maybe overhearing us gave her a jolt." mused Archie.

"Or maybe she was coming out of it already." said Owen cautiously. Jack and Ianto shrugged as one.

"Coffee?" asked Ianto tightly. Owen and Archie both nodded. The four men sat at the table with their cups and waited in silence, straining to listen. The hairdryer turned off and there was total silence. Archie began to drum his fingers on the table. Owen pulled out a pen and started chewing on it. Ianto was chewing his lower lip and Jack was trying not to find that attractive right now.

Then the door upstairs opened and they heard the squeak of runners and the tap of Dubhtach's nails on the wood. Michaela came down the stairs and into the kitchen. She'd put her jeans on and t-shirt, her freshly washed hair had been pulled into a ponytail. She looked clean and bright… and she was smiling.

"Morning." she chirruped, making straight for the teapot. "Any left?"

"Just ran out." said Ianto quietly. None of them had moved from the table, watching her carefully.

"Ah well. Just make some more then." she said, grabbing the kettle and filled it with water. As she set it to boil, she looked around.

"Anyone seen my phone?"

"I got it." said Archie carefully.

"Oh," Michaela smiled again and approached him, holding her hand out. When Archie did not move she gave a little laugh, saying, "Well, c'mon," as if he was being silly.

"I'm holding on to it for now lass." said Archie gently. Michaela smile faltered and she dropped her hand.

"How come?" she asked coolly.

"Ye need a break from it."

"Why would I need a break?" she asked in that same cool voice. Ianto rose to his feet and said gently,

"Michaela, you've spent the last few days, curled up on the bed staring into space. Don't you remember?"

Michaela shrugged carelessly, "Of course, but what does it matter?"

"Michaela, you thought we were-"

The kettle whistled, cutting Jack off. Michaela went to it and cleaned out the teapot with some boiled water. Jack glanced at the others, then rose to his feet next to Ianto.

"Michaela-"

"I'll have to work at the Hub today, then drive up to Glasgow tonight. God only knows what I've missed." said Michael in a loud voice, pouring more water into the teapot with a teabag. Jack sighed to himself.

"You're not going to the Hub."

Michaela's spine stiffened, her shoulders rose. "Why not?"

"Because you're suspended from Torchwood."

Michaela span around at once, "Since when? Why?" she shouted, her 'calm' vanishing at once.

"Since nine days ago, and as for why-"

"You can't do that! You haven't the authority."

"I do with the full agreement of my co-head."

"Archie!" Michaela looked at him, her eyes wide and blazing with fury.

"I'm sorry lass, but I froze your passwords. You're not to have any access for a while."

"On what ground?"

"On the grounds that you're unwell and need help." said Jack.

"I'm fine!" she snarled.

"'kaela please, listen to us. You don't have to act ok, we want to help."

"I said I'm fine, I don't need any help."

"I'm afraid I don't believe you, Michaela." said Jack, "The only way you can end your suspension is certified proof that you're sound."

"Wha-" spluttered Michaela.

"You're going to see a psychiatrist. Only when she says you're ready will you come back to Torchwood."

There was beat of silence as Michaela's eyes bugged out. The next thing Jack knew he was ducking to avoid the teapot, which clunked against the wall and cracked on the floor. Tea stained the walls and the floor.

"Michaela!" cried Archie as he and Owen jumped to their feet.

"You can't make me do that. You don't have the right!" she shrieked.

"As head of Torchwood Three, yes I can." said Jack hating how firm he sounded in the face of the devastated expression on her face. Michaela looked from one face to another, looking for someone to correct Jack. Finding no help, she bared her teeth and let out a shriek of fury. Jack was forced to duck a mug, and Michaela stormed out of the kitchen.

Jack chased after her and as she tried to open the front door, Jack slapped his hand on the wood and forced it shut. He couldn't let her leave in the state she was in. Michaela glared up at him and Jack felt cold at the look in her eyes. Michaela looked back over her shoulder at the kitchen, where the other were watching. With another shriek, she slammed her fists on the door and then stormed upstairs. Dubhtach chased after, barking, but Michaela shut the door in her face with a bang. The silence stretched out like clingfilm over them all, peppered by Dubhtach whining and scratching at the bedroom door to be let in.

Jack heaved a sigh and leaned back against the door, tilting his head back. He really hated being the bad guy. After a moment he returned to the kitchen, to be embraced by Ianto's strong arms. He rested his cheek on Ianto's shoulder and sighed.

"Well that went well." said Owen snidely.

"How else would it have gone?" said Archie, shaking his head. "Torchwood is all she's got, and none of us can claim we don't know what that's like."

Jack nodded, closing his eyes as he inhaled the familiar scent. He swallowed and said,

"Owen, will you call Dr. Hamilton and see how soon she can see Michaela?"

"You don't think we should give her a day or two to-"

"No. Today. The sooner the better."

Owen sighed and nodded. "Ok. I'll call her." He dug into his pocket and stepped out of the kitchen and into the sitting room so he wouldn't be overheard. There was a nasty silence in the kitchen as Jack pulled away from Ianto and looked at the floor. Archie shifted from foot to foot and Ianto stared up at the ceiling, as if he could see through to Michaela on the other side. After a few minutes Owen returned,

"She can see her now. We'll just bring her down."

Jack swallowed again and nodded, squaring his shoulders.

"Need some help? She can't be any madder at the rest of us than she already is." said Archie gently. Jack smiled weakly and nodded.

"Yeah, we might have to make her."

They moved up the stairs and hesitated at the door. Dubhtach was whining at the keyhole, a sad, needy sound that made Jack pet her head comfortingly. Then he knocked on the door.

"C'mon Michaela, we're going to see the psychiatrist."

There was no answer. Jack sighed and knocked again,

"Michaela, this is not a choice, now-"

"Fuck off you piece of limp-wristed, small cocked shit!" she snarled from the other side of the door. Jack raised his eyebrows, that had been a hell of an insult for her to jump to.

"Michaela, you can either be a grown up about this and come out, or we will come in and carry you down."

"I said fuck off!" she spat. Jack sighed and pulled on the door handle. The door wouldn't open, but Jack could tell she was holding it shut by wedging her foot into the base, not because it was locked.

"Michaela, we will break this door down if we have to."

"You can't make me do anything."

"Yes we can, remember, we're Torchwood. But you could save yourself some dignity by-"

"What the hell do you know about dignity? Your favourite game is how to strip it away!" she shouted, and there was a thump of a fist on the door. Jack shook his head.

"I'm coming in Michaela. One.-"

"Don't you dare!"

"Two!"

"You can't do this!"

"Three!"

Jack waited another second to throw her off balance and then gave a shove. Michaela shrieked and stumbled back as the door was forced open. She crashed into the bed and scrambled for her feet. Jack strode forward and grabbed her elbow. Michaela went wild. She clawed at Jack's arm, then at his face. Ianto grabbed her other arm but she started kicking out, squirming like a fish, and shrieking with fury. She was more animal than human as Ianto and Jack wrestled her to the ground and Jack quickly handcuffed her hands behind her back. Michaela gave a piercing scream of half terror and kicked out. Her runner connected with Jack's face and he snapped around landing on the ground next to her. Dazed, he heard the other two joining the scuffle and try to talk her down. But Michaela was having none of it. Jack shook his head and got to his feet, swaying slightly as Ianto and Owen got a hold of Michaela and lifted her up off the ground. They then heaved her over Ianto's shoulder and Ianto tried to pin her kicking legs, which were far too close to his crotch for comfort. Archie held on to Dubhtach who'd begun to bark furiously.

"Get her into the SUV now!" snapped Jack, over Michaela's screaming. He felt a twinge of grief, the screams had stopped being angry and they were now just scared. She probably thought they were about to kill her. But Jack didn't know what else they could do, she needed treatment and she needed it now. "Michaela, we're not trying to hurt you. We're here to help."

"Like fucking bloody likely!" she shrieked, thrashing in Ianto's arms. "No one helping would tie me up, or plan to kill me."

"We're not –oh forget it. Just get her into the car." snarled Jack, fed up to his teeth with this insanity. Dr. Hamilton would stick some antipsychotics in her and she'd calm down, surely. So they just had to get her to the doctor. Then everything would be ok. Everything would be fine. Because no way would Jack have it any other way. He'd earned this one chance at actual happiness.

* * *

"You four… are idiots." said Dr. Hamilton as she regarded Archie, Jack, Ianto and Owen like an angry headmistress. Jack actually felt like scuffing his feet sheepishly.

"We didn't know what else to do. You said to bring her-"

"And it didn't occur to you that if she wasn't willing to go I could have come to her. I have that office to provide a safe, private, neutral environment for my patients, I do not have it because I am a Jack in the Box. You should have called me to assess the situation."

"We thought we had a handle on it." said Owen.

"Doctor Harper, this is not your area of expertise, surely you should have realised you ought to call me."

Owen spread his hands in exasperation as he looked around at the other three incredulously. It was hard not to laugh at the irony given that Owen had been saying only yesterday.

"So what now?" asked Jack, glancing at Michaela. Dr. Hamilton had taken one look at her and then administered a sedative to calm her down. Now she was laying on the couch, blinking blearily. Dr. Hamilton had ordered her hands to be freed so she was idly stroking her wrists with lazy fingers.

Dr. Hamilton drew in a deep breath as she glanced over her shoulder at Michaela, then looked back at them.

"I'm calling Providence Park. I'm having her sectioned."

"No!" yelled Ianto, his head snapping up.

"Ianto, I am making this decision. As a license psychiatrist I have the authority to order emergency psychiatry."

"But you haven't even talked to her."

"Ianto, I've been kept appraised of her condition through Owen and, I have to say, your collective behaviour notwithstanding, I cannot in good conscience let her just go back to your house, not after seeing her act the way she did. It's obvious she needs full time care."

"No… no, please don't take her away." begged Ianto, making to run to Michaela, but Dr. Hamilton stopped him with a firm hand on his arm.

"Ianto, I know you care about her, but this is what's best for Michaela. Believe me, all I care about is her health, and she clearly needs proper, full time care."

Ianto's face crumpled, "It's my fault. Let me fix it."

Dr. Hamilton rubbed his arm soothingly, giving him a gentle smile, "Ianto, you cannot think like that. This is not your fault. And you have to let us, let those who know how to treat her take care of her. I promise you can come see her when she's settled in. Providence is not far away. And she might be out in a few weeks-"

"Weeks?" gasped Ianto, sounding winded by the word. Owen stepped forward and touched his shoulder.

"Ianto, think about it. It's the most efficient way to let her heal. You have to let someone else do the work here. There's nothing you can do now. But that doesn't mean you're surrendering her, or giving up on her. Later, when she's been given some meds, then you and her can begin to rebuild your friendship. But I think you need a break from each other for now, so you can heal. C'mon Ianto. Let her go. Let her be treated."

Ianto sniffed and wiped his nose. "She'll… she'll be treated right, yeah? No –no one will… I dunno… _touch_ her, like –like-"

"Ianto, I assure you, she won't be harmed. Everything will be done for her own good. And no one would dare assault her. I promise you. She'll be perfectly safe." said Dr. Hamilton, giving his arm one last squeeze before letting go. "Now I'm going to make that call."

She moved to her desk, and lifted her phone. Ianto wiped at his nose again and sniffed loudly,

"'S not right." he muttered.

"No. What wouldn't be right would be to leave her untreated to make ourselves feel useful." said Owen, rubbing his shoulder. Ianto glanced over his shoulder at his brother, who gave him a bracing smile. "I promise I'll keep an eye on her progress and let you know as soon as she's ready for visitors. Ok?"

Ianto nodded.

Archie let out a gruff cough, that made Jack look at him. He looked so old and so sad. Jack sighed and squeezed Archie's shoulder, unconsciously mirroring Ianto and Owen's stance. Archie gave him a tremulous smile.

"Never thought it would come to this." he growled, voice thick with emotion. "Never imagined… always thought she was the sanest of us."

"I know." said Jack gently. Archie coughed again, then swallowed thickly, clearly trying to keep himself together in front of them.

"She… she will be ok, yeah Jack?"

"She'll be fine. Torchwood will pay whatever it has to to get her the best treatment. She'll want for nothing." assured Jack, already planning to set up a special account for the treatment. Just like the one he had for Flat Holm. Which reminded him, he really needed to go and see how things were out there. He would go tomorrow if he could.

"The ambulance is on the way." said Dr. Hamilton, returning to them.

"Ambulance?"

"Special one, belongs to the clinic." she explained gently. Her brown eyes skimmed over all four of them and she smiled, "I'm sure when she's able to, Michaela will appreciate how much you care about her."

Jack dearly hoped so. He wasn't ready to loose another Torchwood member to anything.

"Ianto, may I have a word?" asked Dr. Hamilton, gesturing away from the others. Ianto nodded and followed her. They spoke in undertones and then she gave him a slip of paper. Ianto looked at her and then at the paper like it would bite him. He nodded and stuffed it in his pocket.

A muffled thump made them all jump. Michaela had rolled off the couch and was trying to get to her feet. She was having no success. A whine, not unlike the sound Dubhtach made when she was sad, escaped her lips. Dr. Hamilton gestured the four men back and went to Michaela's side, crouching next to her.

"Michaela, I'm Dr. Hamilton, I know you're frightened, but I'm here to help."

Michaela rolled her forehead against the floor to say 'no'. Dr. Hamilton gently hooked her hands under Michaela's arms like she was a baby and lifted her up. Michaela groaned and tried to push her away.

"It will be ok Michaela." said Dr. Hamilton, smiling gently at her. "We'll look after you."

Michaela narrowed her eyes to slits and she kicked out, catching the doctor in the chest. There wasn't a lot of power in it, but Dr. Hamilton landed on her backside.

"Oaf!" But she gestured for the men to continue staying away. Jack rationalised that they would not help, but he wanted to wrap his arms around Michaela and kiss her till she stopped fighting and the delusions were pushed away from her mind. "Now Michaela that's not going to help." said Dr. Hamilton, rubbing her chest. "We're not going anywhere, we're going to help you."

Michaela hissed and slipped onto her side. Dr. Hamilton sighed, rising to her feet.

"I think I will sedate her completely."

"N-no!" groaned Michaela, writhing on the ground.

"Then you'll have to stop fighting with me." said Dr. Hamilton reasonably.

"N-Never!" she wailed.

There was a knock on the door.

"That was fast." said Dr. Hamilton in satisfaction. Jack went and opened the door. Two men strode in wearing uniforms with the Providence Park logo on the chest. They came in dragging a gurney, and the sound of it provoked Michaela to start trying to scream. Her green eyes looked around for help and locked with Jack's for a moment. Jack felt his heart break as the men, who were in fairness trying to be gentle, lifted Michaela up and lay her on the gurney. She moaned and struggled weakly as the men strapped her in.

"N-no! Ianto… don't… please." she whimpered, turning her head to look at him. Ianto let out a broken sound and Owen put an arm across his chest, more for comfort than restraint, because Ianto was staying put.

"I'm sorry 'kaela. I promise it's for your own good. I promise." he said, his accent thickening as he tried not to break down.

Michaela thrashed and kicked out, but it was useless. The medics were too well trained. Jack felt his own eyes stinging as she looked at him, betrayal and terror in her big green eyes. Big green eyes which had once looked at him reverently… lovingly… and so, so sweetly. Jack looked away, unable to meet her gaze anymore.

It would be fine. Everything would be fine.

'_Dear God, please let it be fine.'

* * *

_

Yes, yet more angst, but it's 'for the best' angst. Lol.

If someone is feeding my plotbunny those radioactive bananas I must ask that you stop. I want to reach the end of this fic sometime before the summer's out! And I wanna start the sequel too. Lol. And I'd like to get back to the other plotbunnies this one has dwarfed.

If anyone is surprised by this chapter's ending, I did it for a few reasons, but the main one was, although I don't want to trivialise Michaela's issues, I do want to return to the original two (or three if you want) who were the centre of this fic i.e. Jack, Ianto and Owen. To those who want Michaela to still be around, don't worry, she will be back. Just give it a chapter or two. She'll definitely be back by the 21st March 2009 in the fic, maybe sooner.

I will offer a prize in the form of a requested one-shot to the first person who can figure out why that date is so specific.

Night's Darkness


	59. Chapter 55

A/N: The thought occurred to me that this chapter could actually qualify as the end of the fic and everything I planned could be left for another fic, but I decided against it, mostly because I think if I changed my plans I'll leave the plotbunny open to more mutations. So not happening! Also, for anyone who is interested, I have the title of the sequel chosen. It's going to be called '**Salvation's Tears**' (cheery I know).

Also, I have a winner for my little competition. 'Kate's Master' over at figured out that the 21st of March was the date Ireland beat Wales in the Grand Slam last year. She was also the first person to review, so she got it in one, lol. So she'll get back to me when she's got the time and hopefully her Torchwood one-shot will be up soon. So congrats to her and thanks to everyone who had a go at guessing.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 55**

_(27__th__ November 2008)_

"When can we visit her?"

It was the question on everyone's lips today. Ianto, Gwen, Tosh, Archie and now Rhys. Owen sighed and said once again,

"When Dr. Hamilton thinks she's ready and when she wants to see us."

Rhys let out a 'humph' sound. He'd been enraged that Michaela had been sectioned so abruptly yesterday. As far as he was concerned, they'd given her no chance to prove herself. Now they were sitting in Ianto's sitting room, alone, while Jack attempted to cook dinner and Ianto was out.

"Look, I know you're not happy about it, I'm not either, but it's for her own good." said Owen as patiently as he could. He couldn't (or rather he wouldn't) fault Rhys for caring.

"We didn't finish Prisoner of Azkaban." he said gruffly. Owen clapped him on the back, trying to cheer him up.

"You'll be able to in a while. The important thing now is to let her get some time to heal and for us to return to normal."

"Yeah, normal for you means fighting God knows what, and for me it means being left out as bloody usual." said Rhys, chewing the inside of his lip. Owen was startled. He'd never considered the idea that Rhys had enjoyed being involved in Torchwood's affairs, even if it only was their own soap opera. He wasn't sure what to say to that, but was saved from it by Ianto arriving back from his trip to the pharmacy.

"Got them?" asked Owen, rising to his feet.

"Yeah." said Ianto heavily. He paused to pet Dubhtach's head, but the dog barely reacted. Ever since yesterday, she'd been staring mournfully at the front door, waiting for her mistress to return. Then he held out a small white bag. It rattled with pills.

"Let's have a look then." Owen was about to open the bag, then paused and glanced at Rhys, who quickly got the message,

"I'd better go. Gwen's making dinner. Have to make sure she doesn't burn it." he said, rising to his feet and pulling on his coat, "See you lads!" he called, loud enough for Jack to hear as he left, pausing to scratch Dubhtach's ears.

"Ok," Owen pulled out the container of pills and read the label, "Paxil."

"You said there were side-effects." said Ianto quietly, staring fixedly at the bottle. He'd been quiet since yesterday, ever since Michaela had been taken away. He'd wordlessly given Owen the slip of paper Dr. Hamilton had given him, which it turned out was a prescription for anti-depression medication. Owen felt they were a good idea, but as Ianto had probingly reminded him, there were side-effects.

"Yeah." said Owen with a sigh. They both knew what the other was thinking.

"Should Jack be here to hear this?" asked Ianto.

"He'll find out when I tell him later, but if you'd rather we just talk about it now-"

"No point. Jack!" called Ianto. Jack appeared at the door at once. Owen beckoned him,

"Come here and be leader-y. You need to know what effect these pills could have on Ianto when he starts taking them."

Jack, clutching a spatula, nodded and joined Ianto on the couch. He rested his hand on Ianto's knee and Ianto gave him a tiny smile. Owen cleared his throat and held up the bottle like evidence,

"Ok then. This is Paxil. Medical name is Paroxetine. It's a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor antidepressant, or SSRI. This basically means that it will keep more of the serotonin in the brain longer, giving it more opportunity to work, thus alleviating the depression. Keep in mind, these are not 'Happy Pills'. It will help keep your emotions on balance, but won't make you happy all the time, ok?"

"I still don't think I need them."

"Well you're not the shrink." said Owen, rolling his eyes. They'd already had this argument. Dr. Hamilton had not felt there should be a debate. She thought Ianto needed something to help him and quite frankly, Owen agreed. Ianto had ceased to be the stoic butler of Torchwood. He was so easily coaxed into crying it was beginning to make Owen uncomfortable. Not that Owen thought he should go back to hiding his feelings, but for Ianto to have lost so much control over himself told Owen he needed some help.

"So… what are the side-effects?" asked Jack.

"Well, they'll be most prominent for the first month probably, while your body adjusts to them. So, here's what you look out for, nausea, somnolence –that's a serious form of sleepiness-, asthenia –which is a kind of weakness or fatigue-, sweating, dizziness, dry mouth, insomnia, constipation, tremor, headaches, weight gain, agitation, and paresthesia –a kind of numbness."

"All sorts of things you want to experience when handling a gun." sneered Ianto, sighing heavily.

"Look, some of these side-effects don't occur except very rarely. You might be ok after a while. You just have to have some patience." said Owen, before swallowing and preparing to talk about the more mortifying side-effects, "That's not all."

"Never is." said Jack, rolling his eyes.

"These pills can have a significant… sexual side-effect." said Owen, feeling his cheeks flushing.

"Please tell me it's a sudden increase in desire and sexual potency." said Ianto, his own cheeks flushing. Jack grinned at the two of them in amusement. Owen could almost hear him thinking, _'Aww, 21__st__ century awkwardness!'_.

"Afraid not. The opposite. It can cause ED and a severe drop in sexual desire. So you –" he said looking at Jack, "Will have to keep it in your pants."

Ianto snorted and covered his face, "No fear, he's kept it there so far."

Owen decided he didn't want to know what that meant.

"Ok, so, take one before you go to bed tonight, to let your brain feel its effects while you sleep, and we'll see how things go. Ok? If you have a bad reaction of any kind we can play with the dosages, and if needs be, a different medication. Right now it's about getting you on the best drugs for you. That does include allowing you to keep doing at least most of your job. But I will recommend you don't go out on Weevil hunts and such for a while, not until we're all happy with the drugs effects and side-effects. Sound good?"

"Not like I have a choice." said Ianto.

Owen sighed, "Ianto! You can't look at it like that. You have to see this as a good thing. You're getting help, you're taking on your problems, that is healthy. So, bloody well… buck up, yeah."

"That's what these are for, aren't they?" asked Ianto with a knife edge of sarcasm. Owen rolled his eyes and dropped the pills on the coffee table.

"Just don't forget to take them every night, got it?"

Ianto nodded, picking up the bottle and staring at the side as if he would divulge more from it by osmosis. Jack put an arm around Ianto's shoulders, and squeezed him. Owen decided to leave them. He had a date with Tosh.

* * *

"You're not gonna glean anymore from that bottle by staring at it." said Jack later that night as he towel dried his hair. Ianto jumped and looked up from where he was sitting on the end of the bed. Jack gave him a soft smile and a questioning look. Ianto swallowed and said quietly,

"Maybe this was a bad time for you and me to start… being more than a part-time thing."

Jack frowned and sat next to Ianto, "What?"

"I just… these pills, they're only gonna make me worse. And I know you… well you like sex… hell, sometimes I do too." he said in an attempt at a joke. Jack didn't smile. Ianto ducked his head and chewed the inside of his cheek as he murmured, "Maybe we should consider… I dunno, officially being 'open'… 'cause I don't… I couldn't… I…" The word caught in his throat like ripping Velcro and he dropped his chin.

"You don't trust me to be faithful." said Jack, sounding a little surprised.

"I never asked it of you. It's just… we were easy access for each other-"

"If that were the only reason I wouldn't be here right now!" snapped Jack, now sounding insulted. Ianto hurried to catch his hand, pulling him back even though Jack hadn't moved.

"I don't mean it that way. I'm sorry. I just… look." He sighed and tried to make his mouth and his brain work together properly. "I don't want you to be miserable along with me, because we can't… So, I'm saying that you shouldn't have to deny what you want. I won't be mad if you… just… I don't really want to hear about it."

There was a long, stretched silence. Then Jack grabbed Ianto's face and forced him to look at him. Jack's eyes were blazing as he stared into Ianto's.

"Look, it's hard. I'll not deny it. But you and I… we can take it. It's… Ianto for the first time in a long time, I actually mean it when I say I'm willing to work through this. Yeah, ok, I like sex, and I will want it, but I know you need me to be here for you, and only you. And I respect you too much to just have a quickie with some random person just for my own brief satisfaction."

"I know that Jack, and I appreciate it, really I do. But I always knew that being open and wanting sex and loving people… well it's part of who you are. I don't want to make you stop being you for me. I like you as you."

"And I will be! Ianto, I'll admit I often brag, make jokes and stuff, but that's only about people who didn't matter to me. You might be surprised by this, but I am perfectly capable and happy to be monogamous when I want to. It's all about what makes both of us happy."

"But you always talk about threesomes and-"

"Yeah, but have I ever seriously made a comment about it to you? Have I ever really asked you to do something like that?"

"Well… no."

Jack gave a soft chuckle and kissed Ianto's brow. "That's because I know you preferred it just you and me. I knew you wouldn't be comfortable with it."

"Oh." Ianto felt his ears colouring. He had never really thought about it before.

"Now, pill time. Let's start getting back on the road to normality." Jack got up and returned with a glass of water, pressing it into Ianto's hand. Ianto gulped and glanced up at Jack, seeking reassurance. Jack rested his hand on Ianto's neck and squeezed encouragingly. Heaving a sigh, Ianto took two pills out of the bottle and rested them on his tongue. Then he washed them down with water and for good measure, stuck his tongue out to show Jack they were gone. Jack responded by kissing him hard. Ianto's hands automatically went to hold his shoulders and the glass bumped against them, water spilling over Jack's back.

"Oh! Sorry."

Jack chuckled, "Good thing I was about to get out of these clothes."

Ianto smiled and stood up to undress himself. As he pulled off his shirt, a thought occurred to him.

"Jack?"

"Hmm?"

"You said you never asked for threesomes because I never wanted them."

"Yeah."

Ianto could feel Jack's curious gaze on his back. He smiled faintly,

"Well, what if I did want one?"

It took Jack a moment to answer then he said in a soft, serious voice, "It would depend on who you wanted to join us… and why."

Ianto glanced over his shoulder at Jack, who was staring at him knowingly. Ianto knew they were both thinking of the same person. Ianto shrugged,

"Just a thought."

"One for the future Ianto."

"Ok."

* * *

Tosh's lips were very soft under his, Owen thought to himself as he pressed his hands to her ribcage, not quite bold enough to move them higher yet. He did not want Tosh to misinterpret his actions.

But he had no trouble interpreting hers when she gave a soft sigh of frustration, grabbed his hand and planted it on her left breast.

"Oh!" Owen felt rather startled, breaking the kiss to stare at his hand on her. Tosh sighed again, sadder this time.

"Do you not want me Owen?" she asked quietly.

"No… no I do. I just… didn't want to come on too strong."

"Trust me. You weren't." said Tosh blandly. "Owen, I'm not a virgin! And I'm not that fragile."

"I know that Tosh." said Owen, his eyes still on his hand on her breast. "I just… didn't want you thinking I was just using you."

Tosh smiled at him and pressed her lips against his affectionately. "Owen, I've seen how much you've changed in the last few months. I know you're not using me. You wouldn't have had this much patience if you were."

Owen had to concede that she was right and he felt a twinge of shame. But Tosh smiled at him and cupped his face in her hands, "Take me to bed Owen. Show me how much you've changed. Show me how you feel. Let's make love."

Owen could honestly say the last woman he'd made love to was Diane. And before that, it had been Katie. So he was a little nervous as Tosh, against her own words somewhat, led him to his bed and started unbuttoning his shirt. Sex he could do without thinking. Love on the other hand…

But then Tosh kissed him again and the doubts faded to a comfortable distance as her scent filled his nostrils. Warmth spread through him as he pressed his hands flat against her back and pulled her flush against him. Tosh sighed into his mouth and tangled her fingers into his short hair. As Owen slipped a hand under her top and felt her porcelain smooth skin properly, he reckoned that maybe he could do Love again. If he could do Brotherhood again… surely he could do Love again.

* * *

Gwen watched as Rhys paced in front of the TV, completely uninterested in 'Wife Swap' as he muttered to himself.

"Rhys, love, come and sit down." she coaxed, patting the couch next to her.

"'S not right Gwen! It's just not right." said Rhys, as if he hadn't heard her.

"I know sweetheart, it doesn't seem fair. But it is for her own good." Gwen kept telling herself that. Kept telling herself that Providence Park would help Michaela more than any of them could, but still she felt like she had failed somehow. And she felt bad that her fiancé had done more to get Michaela better than she had and she was meant to be the one who cared. She was beginning to wonder when and how Jack had ever seen that in her.

"All alone in that hellhole? Good for her? How will that be good for her? People jabbing needles into her to keep her quiet, locking her in rooms, sticking her in a straitjacket, it's just more torture!" ranted Rhys.

"Rhys, I'm sure that isn't what they do anymore. And even if they do, it's for violent patients, not people like Michaela." Gwen rose to her feet and caught his hand, pulling him to her to embrace him. "Oh Rhys, I love how much you care for her, how personally you've taken this. It's what makes you so bloody amazing. But we have to have faith that she's getting the help she needs."

"Yeah, and while she's locked out of sight, you lot will go back to before, with me just as the idiot boyfriend, not allowed to help out or know anything."

"Rhys…" Gwen swallowed, grief aching in her gut at the bitterness in Rhys' voice. Once again she felt the pain of the memory of her stupid affair, of her selfishness and she realised that Jack was right. It was her sin to carry. Not Rhys, he didn't deserve to have his life taken away because of her. Not after giving her so much. So Gwen took hold of Rhys' face between her hands, her engagement ring catching the light briefly as she made him look her straight in the eyes. "Rhys, I make you this promise. Now maybe I won't be able to tell you everything, maybe I won't be able to find it in myself to describe some of the stuff that happens… but I promise you I will never cut you out again like I did before. You're now as much a part of Torchwood as I am as far as I'm concerned. Now… yes, that doesn't mean you get a gun to mess about with-" To her relief Rhys chuckled, "But that does mean I will tell you about what I can, and I promise that if I hear anything about Michaela, I will call you and tell you. Ok?"

Rhys swallowed and kissed her gently. "Ok." he murmured. Gwen smiled and put her arms around him squeezing him tight like a big teddy bear. His large hands felt warm and secure at her waist and Gwen felt a warmth flutter in her stomach.

"C'mon." she said, pulling away enough to smile at him, "Lets go to bed." And to emphasize her point she reached up and popped the first button on her top, giving him a mischievous look. Rhys glanced down at the popped button and what lay beneath, and a big, slightly dopey grin spread across his face.

"Oooh, you wanna go to bed now, is it?" he drawled, looking back up at her face. "Well I'm not feeling so tired to be honest with you. Might just plonk myself down on this couch and watch the rest of the show. It's a good on –mph!"

Gwen pressed her lips to his, silencing him with a chuckle, and then she swiped at his bottom playfully.

"C'mon, bed! Now!"

And she frog-marched him into the bedroom, kicking the door shut as an afterthought behind her.

* * *

Aww, all the happy couples, I decided we needed an upper after last chapter's downer. I'm working on the next update now, so it'll hopefully be up later this week, as I'm leaving on hols on Saturday and I'd like to leave you with one more chapter to tide those of you who are now serious angst-addicts over until I return, lol.

Reviews are of course love and confidence boosting!

Night's Darkness


	60. Chapter 56

So I'm back from my hols, and I have no tan and am as sick as a dog. :-( So not a happy Night's Darkness –so much for the relaxing sun holiday.

I skimmed a certain canon plot story, but I'm trying to condense a few parts that can be condensed for my own sanity at this point. When I started this I did not expect to still be writing it, what, over TWO years later.

... yeah I'm not a happy person today.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 56 **

_(28__th__ November 2008)_

When Ianto woke up that morning, he paused to actually consider how he felt. To his surprise, he was fairly sure he could actually feel a slight difference in himself. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew it was there. Curious, he reached under the duvet and touched himself, rubbing firmly. Nothing happened. He had not really expected anything to happen, but he had to live in hope about this part of his life if nothing else.

As he got ready for the day, Jack stirred and rose, giving him a sleepy grin as he stretched.

"Hey, how're you feeling?"

"Ok… not really sure."

"Feeling… teary?"

Ianto threw him a nasty look.

They were the first to arrive in the Hub, so they were very aware of Tosh and Owen arriving together, heads bent together as they talked quietly. Ianto offered them coffee, and then joined Jack in his observations of them through the window of Jack's office.

"My brother had sex last night. I am so tempted to tease him." said Ianto matter of factly. Jack chuckled and shook his head. "I'm just afraid what might get said back."

"It would violate the doctor-patient thing you two have regarding your meds, and that's all Owen knows about it." said Jack, raising an eyebrow. "So… go and torture him."

"Ok!" Ianto almost sailed out the door and followed Owen down to the Autopsy Bay. Jack barked out a laughed as he watched him leave. Tosh glanced up at him curiously, a little smile of her own on her lips. Jack shook his head, still grinning.

About ten minutes later, Gwen arrived and called a general greeting to them all. Jack quickly shifted into 'Captain' mode and called,

"Gwen! My office please."

Gwen dropped her bag on her chair and scurried up to join him. Jack could see by the expression on her face that she was hoping her desk imprisonment was being put to an end. She was not wrong but not for the reasons she thought.

"Have a seat Gwen." he said, gesturing. Gwen plopped into the chair and smiled at him. Jack heaved a sigh and leaned back in his seat.

"Everything alright Jack?" she asked after a moment of silence. Jack didn't answer at once, he had to think about how he should phrase what he had to say. At length he straightened up and said,

"Ok, here's the thing Gwen. The team has become accustomed to having at least four of us on the ground as standard practise. But with you on desk duty and Ianto having to take a sort-of break from guns and such, that leaves me, Toshiko and Owen on our own, and I'm not comfortable with that. So, either I take you off the desk duty earlier than I intended or I give Ianto the gun. The safer option is of course to take you off desk duty, but I'm not sure if at the end of the day, I'm any more comfortable about that."

Gwen's eyes dulled as some of her hope was dampened, and at the same time a flicker of anger and frustration appeared in them.

"Jack, look I am truly sorry for what I did. And I get it, really I do, but I led this team when you were gone, I think I've proven myself so this-"

"What have you proven Gwen?" asked Jack, keeping his voice neutral. The question threw Gwen a little.

"What?"

"What did you prove? When I was gone."

"I… I proved that I can handle the responsibility, that I can keep things under control… that I can unite this team when needed."

Jack nodded thoughtfully, acknowledging that the team had unified when he'd been gone (and he wasn't sure what to think about that). But he wasn't sure if Gwen had really been behind that or if it had been out of necessity from the whole team. But he knew that at the end of the day Gwen was the safer choice until Ianto's meds were working properly and they were sure he wouldn't experience any severe side-effects.

"Ok, you can come out with us on missions, but it's because we need an extra hand, not because I've just forgiven you."

"Ok, got it Jack." said Gwen, widening her eyes in that way Jack found so attractive. It gave him hope that things would work out for the best.

* * *

_(29__th__ November 2008)_

No one should have to start the day with an angry Welshman. Especially if it was one that would not be soothed by the offer of a blowjob. This is what happened to Jack that morning. Rhys Williams called him on his mobile at half eight in the morning, just as he and Ianto were getting ready to leave the house, ranting about Gwen being pregnant and it being Jack's fault. All things considered, a surreal conversation for Jack Harkness.

Gwen's knack for getting into trouble had wasted no time now that she was back on field duty. Jack had no sooner formally signed her over to field duty then the Rift had spit something out. A shape shifter it turned out, who had managed to sink its teeth into Gwen's arm. But Owen had said she was fine. Apparently Owen needed a brush up on the word 'fine'.

Archie had been beyond unhelpful at first, too busy laughing about the event, making loads of 'Catholic jokes'. But he had stopped laughing when Michaela's phone, which he still kept on him at all times started ringing and did not stop for the rest of the morning. It was hard to tell who was more stressed, Archie or Gwen, by the time Owen finally got her into the machine that would remove the alien egg. Archie wandered over just in time for the show, phone pressed to his ear,

"Yes, I understand you've got Weevils in London but we're in Cardiff… well no one really knows how we would go about re-establishing Torchwood London… look, just ask UNIT to deal with them! We'll look into it as soon as we can." He hung up and dropped his head to his chest, before looking up, "I swear!" he exclaimed, ignoring Gwen, whose eyes had widened to sizes Jack had never seen before as she strained her neck to watch Owen. "How do you resist the urge to tell these arseholes to fuck off?"

"You just do." said Ianto, arms folded as he watched Owen fiddle with the machine, which arched over Gwen's body, encasing it like a coffin –actually, Jack thought it looked like photon torpedo, not that he would ever say that. Archie snorted,

"I'm taking the dog for a walk, see if the air will cheer her up." He started to walk away, then turned back, pointing at Gwen, "Oh! By the way, you might want to double check we're all who we say we are. Mummy Nostrovite won't like you killin' her kids." He turned away again.

Gwen squeaked and Jack barely managed to grab Archie's shoulder and spin him back before he moved out of reach.

"You know what this alien is? Owen hasn't done the Autopsy yet." he asked, in bafflement.

"Seen this before. Happened to a co-worker, let me tell you he was pissed off as all fuck." said Archie, shrugging. Ianto and Owen winced.

"You had other co-workers?" asked Gwen, desperate for a distraction.

"Of course! Used to have a whole team like here. But most of them retired, or went to here or London in search of gooier pastures. I dunno, personally, I wouldn't give up my archive for nothing." said Archie lifting his chin.

"You mean Ted's Archive." corrected Ianto, glancing at him.

"Aye, he wishes."

"Who's Ted?" asked Tosh.

"The stuffed Latstther that guards the Archives." said Archie.

"Ah… the onion hater." said Owen wryly as he hit the enter key with a flourish. The machine began to whir as Archie said,

"Ted's been guarding that Archives since 1916, and so far we've had no break ins. Not a bad record, eh?" He nudged Jack in the side with his elbow and Jack smiled.

"Not bad at all, even I can agree."

"So… was it just you left in Two until Michaela came along?" asked Gwen, still desperately trying to ignore the machine.

"Yup, although of course, for a time, it was still just me even after I met her." said Archie.

"What? But Michaela told me you hired her when she called you looking for information about her great-uncle." said Ianto, frowning in confusion.

"Great-Uncle?" Jack frown in confusion.

"Aye. Remember Éamonn Mc Murchú, Torchwood Four's Chief and strategist?"

"Oh yeah! Eddie –drove him crazy when I called him that." chuckled Jack, then he frowned, "Wait, she's his great niece?"

"Aye, it's how she got involved with Torchwood. She wanted to know what had happened to him, came looking for me to find out. But I didn't just hire her on the spot. No way."

"But then…" Ianto looked puzzled. Archie sighed, shaking his head,

"When I met her she was in a state like you were when she met you. Down to her last bit of money and looking for something, anything, to keep her going, both in the short and long term. I looked at her… big sad eyes looking for help but too embarrassed to ask for it. So I offered her a job as a cleaner in my own home."

"You hired her as a maid?" Ianto was astonished.

"Yeah. She came every three days and cleaned the whole house until it was as clean as a lab. I watched her for a while, obviously the idea that maybe she could work for Torchwood came to my mind, but I wouldn't just hire without any knowledge about her. But the more I saw her the more I saw her uncle in her, and how she read everything she could get her hands on. Little chats with her showed me she could remember everything she read, and she was eager, neat and clever."

"So you realised she'd be better use in Torchwood." concluded Gwen softly.

"Not quite. I had to test her first. See how she reacted to different things, like secrets. So I left a pile of files out on the table, and the one on top had her uncle's name on it." Archie chuckled quietly, shaking his head, "You should have seen the look on her face when she saw it. She looked like a starving child, seeing a plate of chips and nuggets in front of them. Every five minutes she would come back to it, stare at it for a minute or two and then move away."

"So you knew she could resist."

"Ah, the test didn't come until I came home –I'd been watching her from the House. She glared at me and said I was very cruel to try to make her into a liar by dangling what she wanted in front of her like I did. I said she could have looked at the folder if she'd wanted to, that was why I'd left them out."

"You mean bastard!" laughed Jack.

"I honestly thought she was going to cry." sighed Archie, less amused. "She gave me this look like I'd slapped her and said I'd spoiled it all now. Then she walked out. I honestly thought she wouldn't come back."

"What the hell was the point of that?" demanded Ianto.

"I had to know she could resist her need to know everything when it was prudent. I needed to know how she would react to being tested. I needed to see how she reacted to being manipulated, because Torchwood requires manipulation to survive. But I also needed to see if she would pursue her desire to know the truth when she felt cheated."

Archie looked at Jack, his shoulders drooping,

"I wasn't stupid, I could tell something was wrong here and in One. But I found it hard to spot and see through all the years I'd been working for the company. You get tunnel vision here if you're in it too long. The ability to see things for what they were was something I'd admired in Éamonn, and I could see it in her too. I wanted to see if she would come back and push the subject. I wanted her to prove she wasn't easily pushed around. Thankfully, she came back the next day and demanded to see the files. Said she was entitled to know her own family history. Ballsy, I thought."

"I bet."

"So I tested her again by asking her about aliens and whether she thought they were real." Archie grinned, "I loved her answer."

"What was it?"

"She said anyone who didn't think aliens existed was a self-centred fool. She then quoted some mathematical probability for life in the universe and said, 'How arrogant would I have to be to deny someone's existence?'"

Jack laughed, then frowned, "Hang on," he said, "Éamonn vanished with Four in 1922. You weren't even born then. How'd you know what he was like?"

Archie tilted his head to the side and said airily, "Long story."

Jack stared at him for a moment and then looked back at Ianto, who shrugged. Jack decided to take a look in the Archives later. He **had** met Éamonn and had loved him. A thick Conemara accent, a farmer's build and weather beaten face and a sharp mind and intelligence that had been ahead of it's time. That he had been pretty good looking had helped. Tragically, Éamonn had been a straight Catholic and a straight man. Jack had been smart enough not to piss him off by making more than a casual flirting comment at him, because Four had been a very powerful entity at the time. Guppy and Holroyd had hated Four, because, in their eyes, it had turned away from the 'Empire' when Éamonn had become the Leader. Last time Jack had seen Éamonn, he had been singing in a loud voice 'The Wind That Shakes the Barley', so they might have had a point.

Recalling Éamonn, much like he could see the similarities between Ianto and Owen, Jack could suddenly see the family traits shared by Michaela and Éamonn. Same dark red hair, same pointed chin. Same strained expression when they were stressed. Maybe that was part of his fondness for Michaela, she reminded him of Éamonn. Jack shook his head at the idea. No. He'd just liked her, his little Micka-Mouse with her big eyes, timid smile and blush that went all the way down.

Jack's smile fell as he imagined Michaela locked up in Providence Park, scared, angry and alone.

"Any word from Dr. Hamilton about her?" he asked Owen quietly. Owen shook his head as he watched Gwen's readings on the monitor.

"Nope. But I'd say it'll be a least a week before anything of note happens. Right now they're probably pumping her with anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. Trying to get her physically stable before they tackle her mental state."

Archie sighed and shook his head, "My poor Micka…" He sounded like a bereft father. It made Jack wonder if Michaela's mother should be called. But before he could pose the question to Archie, an alarm went off.

"Someone's attacking the tourist office." said Ianto at once.

"Bet you a bottle of good whiskey it's mummy." said Archie with another heavy sigh.

Gwen groaned from inside her photon torpedo.

* * *

Reviews would be especially appreciated right now I feel so low and crappy. *makes begging eyes, then makes Dubhtach do them instead as it makes her feel even iller*

Night's Darkness


	61. Chapter 57

Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks so much for all the well wishes I got from you. I'm not 100% yet, but I am determined to be better by Saturday, seeing as it's my 20th birthday and I refuse to be ill on my birthday, I simply refuse!

Thanks so much again, the well wishes really did cheer me up.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 57**

_(__1__st__ December 2008)_

"Will I be off the meds by Christmas?" Ianto asked Dr. Hamilton at their session.

"No Ianto. The meds will be a part of your life for a while. At least six months to a year."

"Or the rest of my life." said Ianto sullenly.

"The meds are meant to help your body relearn how much hormones you need to produce. They reset your base level. When that job is done, we'll look into easing you off them. How have they been? Do you feel better?"

"I guess a little. It's not something I could really say for definite. I haven't cried since I took the first ones… must mean something."

Dr. Hamilton smiled and nodded.

"And your relationships? How do they seem?"

"Better. Jack… Jack said he's not gonna sleep with anyone else. That's… reassuring."

"In what way?"

Ianto shrugged and scratched at his arm. "Means he thinks I'm worth something I think. I mean… he doesn't just want to replace me with someone easier."

"Do you feel you're worth something?" asked Dr. Hamilton. Ianto looked at her with a sulky expression, shrugging. His eyes fell on a bruise on her wrist and he wondered at it. "Ianto?"

"I don't know… must be worth something if everyone keeps pushing me to get better."

"So you're getting better for others? Not yourself?"

"I… I don't know. I'm just so sick of feeling sad. Of being angry. …Of hurting inside."

"What makes you hurt Ianto?"

Ianto bit his lower lip. He swallowed hard. Then he said quietly,

"Everything."

* * *

_(2__nd__ December 2008)_

"Owen, do they make anti-depression medication for dogs?"

"What?" Owen was sure he had misheard Archie as he turned to face the Scotsman. Archie sighed and pointed at Dubhtach.

The Wolfhound was lying on her belly, head on her paws, staring at nothing. This stance was very familiar to the team now, as Ianto brought the dog with him to work, but it exuded such grief and sadness that Owen actually felt a little sorry for her.

"She's not eatin', nor playin'. Can't even get her to play basketball."

Owen decided not to ask if Dubhtach could really play basketball, because by now he was sure if she wanted, Dubhtach could brew her own coffee. Super-dog indeed.

"She misses Michaela." said Owen.

"Brilliant deduction Dr. Watson, but what can we do to cheer her up?"

"I dunno, do I?" said Owen, shrugging. "I'm not a fucking vet!"

"If she doesn't eat, she'll die. If she dies, I dunno how Micka will react. She loves that dog."

"It's just a dog." said Owen, shrugging. He had never really been an animal man.

Then a familiar hand touched his arm and he turned to look at Toshiko.

"Are you sure there isn't anything you can do?" she asked gently, smiling at him. Owen sighed, and rubbed his eye. He couldn't say no to that face.

"Ok, ok. I'll call Hamilton. Maybe we can bring Dubhtach to Providence. Call it 'pet therapy' or something."

"Aye, good idea." said Archie, nodding with satisfaction. "We can't lose the dog too. She's too well trained, and UNIT is still after Micka to train more of them."

"What are you telling them about her absence?"

"Said she's on a well deserved break. As if I'd tell them she's in a loony bin." snorted Archie. He rubbed his big stomach and said, "I'm starved. When's lunch?"

"When Ianto brings it down." said Gwen wryly, chewing on her pen.

"Hmph!" Archie walked away and joined Jack in his office, plonking himself in the chair opposite Jack.

"He's an oddball, isn't he?" said Gwen, smiling after him.

"Yeah. But at least he breaks the monotony." said Owen with a roll of his eyes.

Gwen chuckled and then glanced down at Dubhtach, her smile falling, "Poor thing." she cooed, leaving her seat and crouching next to the dog, scratching behind her ears. "A magic dog like you shouldn't be so sad."

"Not when we could be using her to retrieve alien objects." said Tosh, "I still can't believe she was able to sniff out that bomb from so far away."

"Yeah. Did they ever figure out who planted it?" asked Gwen, raising her eyebrows curiously.

"Not that I've heard." said Tosh, shaking her head.

"Huh."

"I still can't figure out who would have done it, I mean, it was a pretty secret situation, wasn't it?" asked Owen.

"Well… no one was meant to be talking about it…" said Tosh.

"Talking about what?" asked Jack as he and Archie emerged from the office.

"The trial. We're trying to figure out who might have planted the bomb." explained Gwen, still scratching Dubhtach's ears.

"It's a weird wee mystery." said Archie laconically, folding his arms. "That sort of tech… either it was an alien attack and they gave up quick, or…"

"Or?"

"Or it came from either UNIT or Torchwood."

They all looked at him in surprise.

"Here? None of us did it." said Gwen at once.

"Aye, I didn't do it, none of you did it, and neither did Ianto who is… where?"

"Archives." said Owen shortly.

"Ah. Well, so if we didn't do it, and Ianto didn't do it… there is still an unaccounted person." said Archie slowly, reluctantly. He seemed to be giving voice to thoughts he'd had for a while.

"You can't be serious Archie!" exclaimed Jack, looking at him aghast, "Michaela would never have-"

"No. Not normally. But she wasn't in a fit state at the time, _remember_?"

"Well, even so! UNIT is far more likely."

"Except there were some of their most important generals in the one room. UNIT wouldn't be so stupid."

"Unless it was someone with an issue against UNIT."

"Aye true. But…" Archie sighed heavily, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Don't you remember the panic on Micka's face as she tried to stop Dubhtach? The way she reacted to finding it… was a bit over the top, don't you think? Even for her as she was."

"So, you're really suggesting that Michaela planted the bomb?" demanded Jack, feeling angry and a little anxious.

"I'm suggesting that considering her mental state, she must be asked."

"Small problem with that idea." said Owen, hand over his eyes in exasperation. "She's locked up in a 'loony bin' and we can't just go in to question her."

"No. And the bomb was stopped, so I don't think it matters right now. I'm simply voicing a thought." said Archie firmly.

"What's the thought?" asked Ianto as he emerged from the Archives, a pile of files in his arms.

"What I want for lunch." said Archie without blinking.

"Oh, well I was just gonna order it. You know, since no one else is capable of dialling a number and reciting a list of food items."

"Ah, fine. I'll have Chinese."

"You're getting no salt, which will render such food tasteless." said Ianto firmly.

"Aw, have a heart lad!"

"No! You were put on a no-sodium diet for a reason! You're the longest non-immortal serving employee for Torchwood and I'd like you to continue setting the bar higher and higher for the rest of us to attain to."

"Ok! Ok!" said Archie raising his large hands in defeat. "Steal me salt and take my fucking joy while you're at it!" And he threw himself into the couch, which gave a groan of protest, folded his arms and, for all the world to see, visibly sulked. He and Dubhtach were now a match.

Ianto rolled his eyes, "I'll get right on it. Would you like some anti-depressants on the side of your salt-less meal? They're all the range at the moment."

Tosh and Gwen widened their eyes in surprise, but Owen gave a little grin. It only widened as Archie grunted,

"No. Make it a scotch. Rather be a stereotype than a crowd follower."

* * *

_(4__th__ December 2008)_

"Oh come on Owen! You might actually enjoy yourself."

"Ianto, I'm not that interested in movies, especially old ones that predate the clichéd 'walking away from an explosion and not looking back because I'm too badass'."

"But the Electro is a great cinema theatre. Come on, please!"

Owen looked up from his dissection to meet Ianto's wide, eager eyes. Gwen was at his side with a look of being rope into this situation through those eyes on her face.

"If I go… I get the good coffee for a week."

"Done."

"This had better be worth it Ianto!"

As it turned out, it was definitely… well not worth it. Still it was probably a good thing they had been there when things started to get weird.

"Is it a rule that Torchwood has to pervade all of your life Archie?" asked Ianto as Tosh set up the film projector in Jack's office.

"Lad, I use an alien iron to keep me shirts wrinkle free. Of course it does."

"Alien iron?" repeated Gwen in front of them.

"Ted said it was ok."

"I'm sure he did. It was you who hung that sign from his neck that said, 'I give Archie the complete thumbs up.'" said Ianto, raising an eyebrow.

"Was that ever in question?" asked Archie.

"Not really." Ianto stuck his hands in his pockets and turned to face the sheet they were using for a make-shift screen. After a moment, as Tosh set the film rolling, he said in a softer voice, "You've got girly hand-writing."

Jack's boom of laughter covered Archie's splutter of indignation.

Later, as they went to the hospital to find a whole family of victims, Jack wondered how tonight could get any worse.

"Found in a car with their parents, near Hope Street." explained the nurse as she brought him and Ianto into a room. Two small children were lying on beds, hooked up to heart monitors. They were tiny creatures, immobile, staring up at the ceiling with unseeing eyes.

"Oh, no." Jack moaned. Ianto threw him a look that echoed his own feelings of sadness. Jack sighed and put his hands behind his back. "What happened to the parents?"

"They're in the same cataleptic state." said the other nurse in the room, a pretty brunette with warm coloured skin.

As the first nurse went to check on the small girl, Jack turned to Ianto, who looked worried, unable to take his eyes off the children.

"They came from out of the rain." said Jack quietly, half hoping saying it enough times would help make sense of the phrase and half hoping Ianto's eidetic memory would suddenly pull out a book of information on these things.

"What did you say?" asked the first nurse straightening up with a jolt. Jack gave her a careful look.

"Nothing. Why?"

"Those words, "From out of the rain."" she said in a slow thoughtful voice, "I'm sure I've heard them before." Frowning in thought, she glanced at the girl and then her face lit up with remembrance, "Oh, I remember, it was Christina. She was a patient."

"Here?" asked Jack at once, hardly daring to hope.

The nurse shook her head, "No, at Providence Park; it's a psychiatric hospital-"

"We know it." said Jack and Ianto together. Jack could not believe it! Bloody Torchwood!

He barely heard the nurse say that this Christina woman was afraid of entertainment shows. He was too busy looking at the gleam in Ianto's eye. But he kept his wits about him to ask,

"Did she say why?"

"Yes. She said they were coming to steal her last breath." The nurse shook her head with sadness. "Poor love."

She and the other nurse left the room and Jack and Ianto looked from the children to each other.

_Providence Park. _

The name echoed in the silence between them. Why, Jack wondered, why did it have to be Providence Park? He sighed, saying,

"I think we've just found ourselves our first witness."

Ianto nodded, "Yeah." he drawled.

"I can drop you off at the Hub first-"

"No you won't!" said Ianto.

"Ianto-"

"Jack, I'm still a member of Torchwood, an active member! I don't want nor do I need coddling. The chances of us actually seeing… her, are slim. We go in, we find this Christina, talk to her and then leave."

Jack considered for a moment. "Well… ok. But! If we do see her, you're not to talk to her. Got it."

"Yup."

They chased down the nurse and got Christina's full name. Then they drove as fast as they could to find Christina.

* * *

"Christina's in her room, I can bring you to her." said the nurse at the reception as they explained what they needed.

"Thanks." Jack flashed her a grin and they followed her.

"Is this a very private meeting?" asked the nurse delicately as they climbed the stairs.

"Yes."

"All right then, we'll see if she's up for going outside. Her roommate doesn't like leaving her room, and well, if you don't want anyone listening…?"

"That'd be great, thank you."

They walked down a white corridor. It smelled like deep fryer fat, and disinfectant. In the distance, Jack could hear wailing. But all was quiet on this corridor. An old man shuffled at the pace of a snail in mismatching slippers, a TV remote sticking out of his pocket. A teenage girl with dyed black hair and white skin glared at them as they passed her room.

Despite his own warnings to Ianto, Jack's eyes scanned for red hair. He knew he shouldn't, but he just wanted to see she was ok.

"Here we are, I'll introduce you first." said the nurse, leading them into a fair sized room that held two beds. Both were occupied. The one on the left was occupied by a small, old woman, who looked up with a smile. The other –

'_Oh for God's sake!'_ thought Jack furiously, _'You have to be kidding me.'_

Sitting up at the head of the bed, stuffing something under her pillow, with a glare at the nurse, was Michaela.

"Hello Christina, Michaela!" said the nurse cheerfully. Instead of going to Christina first though, she went to Michaela's bed and said in a calm, firm voice, "What are you hiding Michaela?"

Michaela glared up at the nurse, jaw twitching. Unlike Christina, who appeared to be wearing her own clothing, with a shawl draped over her thin shoulders, Michaela was in white scrubs, and her feet were bare. They made her look small, skinny, like an angry cat. But when the nurse reached for the pillow, she growled like a dog and grabbed the nurse's wrist, wrenching it away.

"Did you steal that book again? You know you're not meant to." said the nurse. On the other bed, Christina shook her head,

"It's all a load of rubbish anyway."

Michaela's head snapped sideways to glare at Christina, so she missed the nurse digging under the pillow and withdrawing a small book until it was too late. She made a grab for it, but the nurse stepped away, holding the book away.

"Michaela, you know you're not to read this. You've dozens of books to choose from in the library. Stop stealing this one."

Michaela jumped off the bed, looking for all the world like she was ready to leap at the nurse, when Christina noticed Jack and Ianto hovering in the doorway,

"Oh! And who are you?" she chirruped.

"This is Captain Harkness and Ianto Jones, Christina."

Michaela's head snapped to the side and she stared at the two men with complete shock. Jack had no idea what to do. There was a dark, almost deranged look in Michaela's green eyes as she regarded them. The nurse turned away and said,

"They're here to see you. Say they need to ask you a few questions."

Right now the Night Travellers were far from Jack's mind. Michaela swayed on the spot as Christina looked up curiously. Then Michaela drew her hands up to her face, pushing her fingertips into her mouth. She shuddered, and Jack knew she was biting her fingers to keep from lunging at them. Much as he hated to admit it, she looked so unbalanced that it seemed she belonged here. Especially when Jack looked at Christina and saw a cheerful old woman who should have been a mother and a grandmother with visitors coming and going, if not for the Night Travellers.

"Would you hold this, please?" The nurse held out the book to Jack and turned back to Christina to help her shift to the edge of the bed. Jack glanced down at the book and noticed the title,

'_The Descent of Women by Elaine Morgan'_

Underneath it was the familiar imagine of the 'Evolution of Man' from a small monkey to an upright, hairless human. Except, it wasn't quite the same, instead of the hairy chest, beard and broad shoulders of a man, it was a full breasted, long haired, woman.

Curious, Jack peered at the 'Contents', feeling Ianto's eyes peering over his shoulder at the book and Michaela, jumping between them. The first word that jumped out at Jack was 'Sex', the next, 'Orgasm', and then 'Love'. Somehow he could guess why Michaela wasn't allowed to read this particular book. They wanted her emotionally healthy after months of abuse and years of repression. No doubt they didn't want her looking at theoretical ideas about female evolution –a touchy subject at the best of times –when they wanted her grounded in the here, now and reality of life and human sexuality.

It came to Jack's attention that he was loosing feeling in his arm. Glancing down, he saw Ianto was clutching his bicep in a vice like grip, eyes downcast. Jack peered at him over his shoulder and gave him a small smile. Ianto managed to return it.

And then Jack had an armful of Michaela tearing at his hair.

"Ah, no! Get off!" he yelped, caught off guard. He instinctively reached out and caught her hands, dragging them away from his head. He vaguely recalled Archie predicting Michaela would scratch his eyes out for taking Torchwood away from her, but he never would have expected it to be literal.

"Michaela no!" Ianto caught her about the waist, dragging her away from Jack. Michaela immediately turned on him, making absolutely no sound as she dug her nails into his skin. Ianto cried out in pain and then everything seemed to move too fast for either of them to comprehend. As quick as it had started, it was over, as two well built orderlies rushed in, pulled Michaela off Ianto and held her down on the bed. Next thing, they were both being herded out of the room by the nurse.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think she would do that. She doesn't tend to be violent-"

"We're the ones who put her in here." said Jack with a heavy sigh.

"Why in the world didn't you say so?" demanded the nurse, looking annoyed now.

"We didn't know she was with Christina."

"Doesn't matter! You should have said you knew her. We would have been able to keep you apart."

"Sorry." said Jack, feeling a little numb from shock. A heavy silence fell between them. It was broken by a soft, timid call from Christina at the door,

"Do you still need me?"

* * *

I'm kinda skimming over the episodes, but I figured they were more useful to allow time to pass than anything else. Plus, we've probably all seen the episodes at least once, so I don't see a point in rehashing them, not unless I deliberately alter them.

Btw: I'm curious about people's opinions on Archie. I remember Jack describing him as 'a very strange man'. But if anything he's the sanest of the lot half the time. So I guess I'm just wondering if you like how I've written him or would rather more oddities or something like that.

Also, that book is a real thing, and there will be an explanation about the doctor's refusal to let Michaela read it.

Night's Darkness


	62. Chapter 58

**A/N****:** Right folks: This chapter was tricky for a few reasons, namely I've been trying to figure out if everyone would act like I'm depicting them in their individual situations or not and… yeah, suffice to say, I had to really get into these peoples' heads and… that's not the funnest thing to do all things considering. Next, you will notice the opening is a little… odd. I really want to know what you think of it, be as critical as you can, because I am considering doing this again, sorta sprinkling them around the upcoming chapters, -and apologies to FF readers, it's not how I wanted the layout, but FF is a bit… well you can guess. Finally, I had to let go of my protectiveness of Michaela as my OC to let me write what I did, as I was a bit worried about how people would react to it. But I am slowly coming to the realisation that I shouldn't let people disliking her bother me, because I can't expect everyone to like the same things in the fic (it'd be like RTD being baffled about why not everyone adores Gwen and worships little Gwen statues… *zips mouth shut*).

*unzips mouth* Enjoy! *zips mouth again*

* * *

**Chapter 58**

They come here –they think they can just laugh at me.

_Fire! Oh God the fire! Get it off me!_

They stick me in here, say I'm mad.

Maybe you are.

I did everything they asked of me, I saved them, I loved them.

_Please I want to go home!_

Defend them, fight for them, die for them.

Death could be a blessing

_I want Archie!_

If you belong here there is a reason for it.

_I don't want to die._

There is no reason! There can't be. I'm not –I'm not…

God, NO! I'm not mad. I just can't be. I can't let him win.

So sick of being alone…

_People are mean._

_Can't trust them._

They watch me all the time, judgemental eyes.

Group therapy, what a sick joke!

The truth is madness of its own.

I won't talk to UNIT doctors! I worked too damn hard!

_Liars, killers, mutilators, torturers!_

_Won't talk!_

I hate you Jack. I hate you Ianto!

_You keep killing me, burning me_

_Please no more,_

_I don't want-_

_Mum!_

What's the point of trust?

Never meant anything.

How could you do this to me?

_… please… let me out.

* * *

_

_(4__th__ December 2008)_

Lying in bed that night, Jack could feel Ianto shaking next to him. Neither of them were quite able to get by what had happened today. Between the loss of all but one of the victims of the Night Travellers and the attack by Michaela at the hospital, they were having a tough time absorbing the situation.

Then, as much as a surprise as Michaela's leaping on his head, Ianto swooped up and over, crushing Jack's lips with his. Jack let out a muffled yelp, then groaned opening his mouth eagerly. Ianto climbed on top of him and pushed his tongue into Jack's mouth. Jack shuddered as their tongues met. Then Ianto started pulling at Jack's clothes, pushing the hem of his t-shirt. Jack bucked his hips and then his brain kick started and he pulled back a little,

"Wait, wait, Ianto-" He grabbed Ianto's shoulders and pushed him back, glancing down between them with concern. "You're not-"

"Who the hell cares?" demanded Ianto.

"I do!" retorted Jack at once.

"I don't!" was the angry response from Ianto. "I want you inside me, and I don't care if I don't come. It's not about that. I want you!"

He pulled Jack's t-shirt over his head as Jack tried to decide if he was able to do this. Then Ianto bit his neck and Jack decided he was indeed up for this! Still, he kept his wits about him and pushed Ianto onto his back so he could lick and kiss all over his chest first. He tugged the furry hair covering Ianto's pecs and grinned when Ianto growled at him, pulling him up for a kiss. Their hips slotted together and they rubbed against each other. It felt disconcerting to feel nothing pressing against him from Ianto, but he could see the way Ianto's cheeks were flushing with excitement, how his eyes were dark with hunger.

"C'mon Jack! Want you –need you now! Been dying for this for weeks." Ianto growled into Jack's ear, his accent thick and lust filled. Jack groaned as Ianto's hand undid the drawstring on his tracksuit bottoms.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! Just because I can't get it up doesn't mean I haven't wanted you, wanted us to… oh for God's sake, why are you wearing pants?" Ianto glared down at the white material covering Jack's pelvis, "You never wear pants!"

"I felt it was… fairer or something, I dunno. And I do wear pants when I want!" Jack flashed Ianto a grin, "I just wanted to make sure you had the easiest access."

Ianto stared at him for a long moment, then grinned, "You're such a slut!"

"Oh yeah!"

Ianto surged up and covered Jack's mouth with his own, pushing his tongue against Jack's as his hands came up to encase Jack's shoulder blades, pulling them together with a grunt. Jack laughed and slipped his hands around to squeeze Ianto's arse through his bottoms.

"Would you just pull them down already!" ordered Ianto.

"You are the bossiest bottom ever, you do realise that, right?"

"You love it." said Ianto, pulling Jack's bottoms down to his knees and using his feet to drag them the rest of the way.

"Yes. Yes I do." murmured Jack, pressing a kiss to Ianto's neck. Ianto's breath hitched and his eyes fluttered shut. Jack smiled to himself as he made butterfly kisses against Ianto's skin as he travelled down to help him out of his clothes. "Lube?" he asked quietly, wanting Ianto to keep talking.

"Top drawer where it always is." sighed Ianto, reclining back and arching up into Jack's touch. Jack kept one hand on Ianto's stomach and reached with the other to the drawer and pulled out the tube of lubricant. Ianto had bought the vanilla flavoured one as a joke, because there was nothing vanilla about them.

"Condom?" asked Jack, his tone more offering the option than demanding it.

"Fuck it!" said Ianto. Jack waggled his eyebrows at him at the word choice and Ianto glared at him with dark eyes. "Grow up and get on with it!"

"Ianto… you need to relax." said Jack gently, rubbing his stomach, because no matter what Ianto insisted, he was as easily soothed by having his belly rubbed as Dubhtach was. "We'll still do this." Jack assured him, "You don't need to rush it because you think I'll back out. I won't. If you want this, really want it, then I'm as up for it –sorry bad choice of words –as you are."

Ianto swallowed, looking uncertain. Jack continued to rub his belly, letting the lube warm up in his other hand as he held the tube.

"We need to be careful, it's been a while for you. Long enough that we'll have to take our time. So you need to calm down."

Jack was using his best Captain voice, knowing Ianto would be compelled to obey. He did not like using it between them in bed, but this instance seemed an acceptable time to be a bit more commanding. He needed Ianto to relax and let things slow down or he would be hurt. Ianto may have allowed himself to be buggered without any lubricant, but with Jack (aside from one instant that they were not going to talk about _now_), he had always responded best to Jack preparing him as thoroughly as he could. And now, when he was not even a little hard, Jack would not take any risks.

Licking his lips, Ianto nodded, closing his eyes and relaxing back. His breathing calmed and Jack smiled to see him lying, splayed out before Jack, long hairy legs on either side of Jack's hips, marble white against the dark blue sheets of his bed. It would take a man of infinite strength not to find the image at least a little arousing.

Jack sighed to himself with anticipation, and leaned forward, lapping at Ianto's chest. Ianto's hands came up and his fingers worked into Jack's hair, like he was giving Jack a scalp massage.

The soft snick of the tube's lip opening made Ianto's breath hitch again and he bit his lower lip and the skin around his eyes crinkled as he looked at Jack and grinned at him in eager anticipation. Jack smiled at him and was careful not to pull away too much as he reached down between Ianto's legs and ran his lubricant covered fingers over the small opening. Ianto twitched and bit his lower lip harder, eyes sparkling in the dark at Jack as he watched him. Jack nuzzled at Ianto's inner thigh, running his teeth over the skin and grinning when Ianto groaned.

Jack took his time preparing Ianto, using as much lubricant as he thought necessary, and then adding more for safety. He did not want Ianto to feel any pain, but he could not guarantee that. It had been a while, so there was probably going to be pain. Jack would just have to be as careful as he could be and keep his own control.

This all sounded so good in theory, but as Jack –_finally_– pressed into Ianto it became that bit harder to stay in control. _He had missed this so damn much._

Ianto groaned, "Fuck Jack!"

"Easy, just breathe Ianto." Jack gasped, trembling with the effort of moving millimetres a minute. Ianto nodded and sucked in a deep breath, closing his eyes and arching his neck as Jack sank a little deeper. "You ok?"

"Y-yeah."

Jack shuddered violently as Ianto's hands came down and covered Jack's on Ianto's hips. It was the two of them pulling them together, and it was like the rest of the world melted away. They were the only two people in the universe, in this moment.

"Jack, are you ok?" asked Ianto, watching him and then touching his cheek. Jack felt moisture pass to Ianto's finger. He gave a wide grin.

"I'm brilliant!"

* * *

_(12__th__ December 2008)_

"Ok, explain to me why you need me to keep Ianto occupied?" asked Tosh, folding her arms as she watched Owen button his shirt.

"I'm going to talk to Dr. Hamilton and knowing my luck if I don't keep him busy, he'll find out and freak."

"Why are you seeing Dr. Hamilton?"

"I want to find out how things are with Ianto and Michaela. In all likelihood, she won't tell me about Ianto, but I would like to be appraised on Michaela's condition too. It's been 16 days since she was committed, and I want an update."

"Will you be able to tell Ianto how she is? That whole encounter with in Providence really shook him and Jake up."

"I can probably say if she's doing good or bad. Won't be able to go into details of course."

"Right, doctor-patient confidentiality."

"Mmhm."

Owen had made a list of questions, which was very unlike him and just so like Ianto, but he was worried he would forget something important. He and Dr. Hamilton had agreed to meet in her office, for privacy. She was waiting for him with a cup of coffee which he accepted with thanks.

"So, shall we get right down to it?" asked Dr. Hamilton.

"Lets." Owen took a seat on the couch and Dr. Hamilton took her own chair. "So… what can you tell me about Ianto first? I figure there's a lot you can't tell me due to my relationship with him."

"You're right. But I can tell you that I am happy with the progress he is making. I think soon we could look at having you involved in a session."

"Me?"

"We like to have those who are involved in the… issues the patient is going through to involved with the sessions as well. It can help everyone to move forward if they are on the same page of understanding, you understand?"

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

"A session with Captain Harkness as well would be good. And… an experience." Dr. Hamilton smirked and cocked an eyebrow at Owen in amusement. Owen decided he liked this woman. He had never been a massive fan of shrinks, believing they benefitted from modern neurosis too much, but he could see the effect the sessions were having on Ianto and the benefit they seemed to be having. He was also perfectly confident that Dr. Hamilton could handle Jack easily, considering she had reduced the four men of Torchwood to the mode of naughty schoolboys with a look.

"Yeah, well… his meds don't seem to be having any real side-effects. He complained of a sick stomach, but that's passed now."

"Good. If they start to have a bad affect, we can look into changing them, but if they're working for now. And he seems better to you?"

"I think he's less… weepy." Owen grimaced, "He was a mess for a while, crying at the drop of a hatch it seems. Now, I'll admit I'm a bit of a bastard about that stuff, crying's for girls and stuff, but even allowing for it all, there was just so many times he was on the verge of crying. That seems to have calmed down."

"Good to know. I know how difficult men find it to cry even these days. I have worked with so many soldiers who just cannot manage it."

"I'll bet." Owen nodded, sipping at his coffee and grimacing. "You need to try Ianto's coffee before you leave. It'll make you see coffee can be good as well as stimulating."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Anything else about Ianto?"

Dr. Hamilton gave a rueful shake of the head, "Not that I can really say to you."

"Ok, fair enough." Owen was a little annoyed, but he knew the importance of the doctor-patient confidentiality and respected that she was determined to keep to it. "So… to the bigger problem."

Dr. Hamilton gave a soft scoffing laugh, "That's one way to put it." she said, shaking her head again.

"That bad huh?"

"Well, I elected to tell only Captain Harkness off for not telling the staff who they were to Michaela when he and Ianto went to Providence. I'm sure they told you about that."

"Yep, Michaela jumped on them and tried to scratch their eyes out. All without making a sound."

"That's what the nurse said to me, along with the fact that Michaela stole the 'Descent of Women' again."

"Again? They mentioned some book, but they didn't really get into it considering they were too shaken by the whole day."

"Yes, Michaela saw it one day in the small library they have in the hospital, and started reading it, but one of the nurses recognised it and called me, explaining why she thought Michaela shouldn't read it and if she should take it away. I agreed and so the book was taken away. But Michaela didn't like this and so she's stolen it twice."

"What's the big deal?"

"Well… Michaela has suffered at the hands of a sadistic man for months and never received counselling for it, so for years she's lived with this, and now she feels that all the men in her life have let her down. The book is supposedly an interesting read, because it looks at the evolution of the female… unfortunately it doesn't really put men in the best light for someone in her condition. I haven't read it myself, but the nurse was concerned, so I decided to err on the side of caution."

"Great." growled Owen. "So… what else?"

"I'm afraid Michaela is being very stubborn. She won't take her medication unless we make her, she doesn't talk in group therapy, or to me in our private sessions, and… well, she's reaching a stage I'm quite worried about. Either she'll internalise everything, in which case she's very likely to try to self harm –and as vigilant as the staff is, there's always a way to do it without getting caught, -or she'll turn outwards and start causing more trouble."

"More trouble? She's already causing trouble?" Owen could feel a headache looming.

Dr. Hamilton sighed, "I think she feels she can't go any lower or be treated any worse, so she doesn't really care what she does. She's starting to, well, bully the other patients."

"But you said she wasn't talking."

"And she isn't. And it's not physical violence, not like what happened with Jack and Ianto –that was reactionary. No, this is more… thought out and deliberate."

"What exactly is she doing?"

"She's stealing jigsaw pieces."

Owen blinked at the doctor, quite certain he had misheard her. "Jigsaw pieces?"

"Yes." She goes through the boxes and takes out five pieces –always five for some reason –of middle pieces, the ones that won't be missed until the puzzle is almost done. It's very upsetting for someone with OCD to find their hard work impeded like that. And Michaela is smart enough to know it."

"So, she's picking on others?"

"Well, the nurses and orderlies are used to patients acting out, they don't react to her attempts to aggravate them, so she goes for the patients."

"Sounds like a cry for attention."

"It might well be, or it could be the only way she can think of to rebel. After the third escape attempt, we're keeping a guard outside her room for the time being."

"Escape attempt? Why weren't we told?" demanded Owen.

"I decided you all had enough on your mind, besides, she didn't get anywhere. She barely reached the door before someone brought her back. And we can be sure that the guard will be kept awake, because when she does sleep, even with the sedative, she keeps having nightmares. It's no wonder she's in the condition she's in, if she wasn't getting any sleep for weeks, her brain was practically scrambled with everything going on inside it."

"Jesus Christ!" Owen pushed a hand through his hair in utter disbelief. He hadn't seen any of this. He had been too resentful of her 'interference' to see the problems going on.

"My concern about her bullying behaviour is not so much the affect it's having on other patients, as it really isn't that severe, mostly just petty, but from what I know of her from Ianto talking about her and such, I get the idea that she will eventually internalise the guilt she will feel for stealing the jigsaw pieces and this will only make her self-esteem and depression worse. It seems small to you, I can tell, but she can see how upset the OCD patients get and will probably feel guilty soon, if she doesn't already. I'm trying to get her to open up, but I'm having absolutely no luck. I think she doesn't want anything to do with me because I'm UNIT."

"She gets on fine with UNIT."

"Maybe, but she probably thinks I'm reporting everything to UNIT. That UNIT knows where she is, what's wrong with her. And considering the time she spent ensuring they respected her… well you can understand why she'd be reluctant to open up to me. And she doesn't believe me when I tell her I can't say anything. It's amazing what some people can say with a look."

"Aren't the meds helping at all?"

"Not as effectively as we'd hoped. Unfortunately, she reacted badly to the first dose, so we had to clear her system before trying again. We're trying to get the right cocktail mixed for her, but at the moment they don't seem to be making enough of a dent in her depression. It's possible that they're reducing her delusions but… since I can't get any information out of her, I can't tell."

"And since she probably hates Jack and Ianto and the rest of us sticking her in there in the first place, it probably wouldn't make a difference in her feelings towards us anyway." said Owen, passing his hands over his face. "God this is why I like my patients dead and dissectable."

Dr. Hamilton smiled at him in understanding. "This is an exceptionally difficult case. It's a little like having to break through an invisible safe door, only to find the item you want is wrapped in layers and layers of Dementors."

Owen dropped his hands to stare at her again. Dr. Hamilton shrugged smiling, "My children love Harry Potter. I've Stephen Fry reading all seven books bleached into my brain from a lot of long car journeys."

Owen considered this a moment, then chuckled before leaning forward and asking, "Is there anything we can do to help? If you've hit an impasse?"

Dr. Hamilton pulled a thoughtful expression and then said slowly, "Perhaps there is something you could do… but I'm not sure yet. Give me a few more days, and we'll see what happens. She has been much more edgy and temperament since she saw Jack and Ianto and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I don't think provoking her will help her anymore. She's living in a world of high strung emotions and an exhausted body. I don't want to make her worse."

"I don't even want to imagine her being worse."

"Well, you could do one thing for me."

"Name it."

"Go to her home, see if you can find a diary, or anything, paintings, drawings music, anything at all that could allow me some insight into her thoughts. There's only so much I can glean from watching her and listening to Ianto and I really can't use his talks about her for several reasons."

"Sure, I can do that, or maybe Archie would know where to look… but we'll see what we can find."

"Thank you."

* * *

Thoughts? Opinions? Idea of what number chapter will be the last one –cause I sure as hell don't know anymore!-? Squees over Man-on-Man action? All is welcome and much, much appreciated!

Night's Darkness


	63. Chapter 59

**A/N:** This chapter's a little short (and sweet lol), but I was pretty lacking in inspiration on how to write this next bit –hence why I went all 'Changing Rooms' on my LJ. Hopefully this chapter is ok.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 59**

_(14__th__ December 2010)_

Jack glanced at Archie and then back at the road.

They were driving to Torchwood House to see if there was anything left behind that might help Dr. Hamilton with Michaela's treatment. Jack had hoped they would be able to chat to each other like they once had, but the air was heavy with sorrow as Archie stared out the window and tugged at his fingers in an absentminded way. Jack could think of nothing to start a conversation with him. Time was they had passed the time mocking Yvonne Hartman and laughing about how she would bring about the end of the world with her obsession with "Queen and country". Somehow that did not seem funny anymore.

"What're we meant to find at the House?" he asked finally, as if Owen had not spent ten minutes explaining what Dr. Hamilton was looking for.

"A diary, a painting, anything that can help get into Micka's head."

"Right. Did she keep anything like that that you know of?"

Archie shook his head, "I don't think she would keep a diary. She's not like Ianto. He needs to have everything laid out before him, it's a calming thing for him. But Michaela's too worried about someone else coming across the information and judging her to let anything out of her head. She internalises absolutely everything."

"How healthy." said Jack shaking his head.

"Oh like you're any better Mr. 'I flirt and fuck to avoid being asked a single question about who I am because I like being a mystery'."

"It's Harkness actually, Captain Harkness."

"Thanks for proving my point."

"How is that proving your point?"

"You deflected an accusation with as flirtatious a comment as you know I will allow you to make at me."

"I did not!"

"You did."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Still doing it."

Jack scrunched his nose and narrowed his eyes in annoyance. Archie looked a little smug.

"Why weren't you honest with Ianto and Michaela about sending Ianto to London?"

The question came unbidden from Jack's lips, and Archie lost his smirk at once, guilt replacing his triumph.

"If I was honest, Ianto would have said no."

"That's a weak argument."

"Fine, I also knew if I told the truth, Michaela would think I was trying to get rid of her, and knowing how low she felt, she would think it was because of Blaine. So I said nothing and let them figure it out. Didn't work though. I still don't understand why they broke up, I literally couldn't find one without the other every hour of every day for a whole year."

Jack had to admit it was a bit odd. But, he fully acknowledged, if Ianto had not broken up with Michaela, he would never have met Lisa, which would have meant he would not have tried to save her, which in turn would have meant that Ianto would never have come to Three and met Jack, or reunited with Owen. It was sad, but breaking up with Michaela had been the best thing Ianto could have done for him and his brother.

"Oh, turn off here." said Archie, pointing at the road.

"Why?"

"Want to show you something. Go on."

"But-"

"Jack, trust me. This is something you want to see."

Jack glanced at Archie with a little suspicion, then sighed and tapped down the indicator.

* * *

"You know Ianto we've been meeting for almost a month now and we have never really discussed your stepfather."

"Do we have to?" asked Ianto hopefully. Dr. Hamilton gave him a little smile.

"Yes. I really think we do. He is a big factor of your life. He's the one that really did bring about this whole situation."

"No, Jack and Owen finding out about him did it." said Ianto pedantically.

Dr. Hamilton raised an eyebrow at him, telling him plainly that he could not get around this anymore. Ianto dropped his chin and shrugged.

"Ok."

"How old were you when your mother met Ivor?"

"Six. I didn't like him when I met him. He gave me this look, like I was intruding, which I thought at the time was rude of him, since he was the one intruding."

"And they got married when you were seven?"

"Yeah. Mam made me be the page boy. It was a small ceremony, neither of them had a lot of friends." Ianto hated how pathetic that made his mother sound.

"When did he start hitting you?"

"About two months after they got married. I broke a cup and he slapped me. Then he told me never to tell my mum, because she wouldn't want to know what a bad boy I was."

"And you didn't tell her?"

"No. I wanted her to smile. She hadn't smiled for ages before she met Ivor."

"So… you never told her at all about what he was doing?"

"No. I wanted her happy. You can't be happy if your husband beats your son." Ianto said this almost off-handedly. It was something he had concluded years ago.

"Ianto… don't you think you deserved to be happy too?"

"I was. Until mam died."

"Even though Ivor was hitting you?"

"Ivor hit me, but I started to see it didn't really matter. Mam was happy, and I was happy with her. What did it matter if he hit me?"

"It mattered because you knew he shouldn't have. Otherwise, wouldn't you have told your mother?"

"I…" Ianto fell silent. He had always known that being hit by Ivor was wrong. After all, he had been tutored outside of school as well as in, he wasn't stupid. He had known it was wrong. But he had found that not telling his mother was easier than the alternative. The alternative was her crying, her taking him away from Ivor, and her being alone. She was so sad when she felt lonely and Ianto had hated how he wasn't enough for her. And Ivor hitting him had always made him feel…

"Oh."

"Ianto?"

"I… I wanted to be enough."

"What do you mean Ianto?"

"I wanted to be all she needed. I didn't like that she got lonely, because it made me feel like I wasn't enough. And I guess I thought that, if I told her what Ivor had done, if I had admitted that I had let him hit me… I'd be even less in her eyes than before."

"Why would you think that Ianto?"

"Because… because I was scared."

The words fell out of his mouth and Ianto could almost feel them land in his lap.

"Scared?"

"Yeah. I was scared because… because if I was less than what I was in her eyes, she might, she might leave me too."

"Like she left your father and Owen?"

Ianto nodded, his stomach clenching as he forced himself to stay calm. "They weren't enough for her. What if I wasn't either? I wanted to be enough for her." He looked up and felt salt stinging his eyes. "I wanted my Mam to love me."

* * *

Watching me, always

watching me.

They must think I'm utterly

fascinating.

Haven't seen Ianto around

again, nor Jack.

And I don't want to.

_Why won't they come back?_

If they at least came back, that

would be interesting.

So bored!

Haven't slept in days.

Keep having dreams about

witches being burned, about

men using glass to cut my cunt.

_I don't like those dreams._

_Why won't they go away?_

_Everyone goes away._

_Why can't they take the_

_dreams with them?_

Haven't seen Blaine for a

while either.

My skin aches with dream-memory

Of flesh peeling off my legs

Of blood coating my thighs.

I wake screaming.

Food is crap here.

No TV.

_I don't want people._

_People hurt._

Men seem to live to hurt women.

And so do women.

Queen Victoria hated

the suffragettes. Wanted

them whipped.

_I don't want to be whipped._

How has this race survived?

Always hating, always killing

Mutilation is a game.

Religion is a cloak.

Gender is a trap.

_I want a hug._

God, not this cow again!

I don't want to talk.

There's nothing to say.

Stupid UNIT bitch!

Why would anyone want

to be human?

Our capacity to love is

unending? Only so long

as it is to our advantage.

Love is a joke. It

was never real.

A bigger lie than the

resurrection of Christ.

And I have met a man who

can come back from the dead.

Ha! Imagine if it turns out

that the great Captain Harkness

is also Jesus Christ.

It would explain everything about

that 'miracle'.

And he has a time travelling

Friend.

Imagine Jack preaching

about Love. He cannot even

say the word.

_I wish someone loved me._

No one does.

Too worthless to love.

_I still wish it.

* * *

_

"Archie, why are we here?"

Jack had followed Archie's direction and they were now in a small city somewhere in the space between Wales and Scotland that was the north of England.

"I want to show you something. Park here." Archie gestured at a car park next to a McDonald's. Jack did as he was told. "Now, lets go in."

"What?"

"Well, I have something to show you, and I'm hungry. So come on now."

Jack sighed, irritated. He knew that it would be tomorrow before he was back in Cardiff, but he did not like taking anymore time than he had to.

They got in the short line and Archie asked, "What're you having?"

"I don't know, whatever you get."

"Good choice."

"Archie, what-"

Jack stopped. He had seen something in the corner of his eye. His head snapped around and his mouth fell open in shock as they reached the front of the queue and can face to face with the man behind the cash machine.

"What can I get you?" asked Ivor Jones, staring blankly from one man to the other.

"We'll have two large fries, 2 9 McNuggets, and 2 Fish Sandwiches."

Ivor Jones, who seemed wilted, weary, as if life meant very little to him, nodded as he keyed the order in. His other hand was in a plaster cast, fingers bandaged individually and bound together.

"What happened to your hand?" asked Jack, trying to make his brain work.

"Car accident." grunted Ivor Jones, his brown eyes not even showing a flash of recognition as he looked straight at Jack. "That'll be £10.90."

Archie paid, took the food and had to drag Jack by the elbow away from Ivor Jones. It took Jack a whole five minutes to form a sentence, during which time Archie had eaten all his fries and half his McNuggets.

"How… how did you find him?"

"I monitor everything Torchwood does, including whenever one of your access codes starts deleting someone's existence. It lets me know a bit about what's going on. And of course I was keeping an eye on the bastard so he wouldn't get near Ianto again. So it was pretty quick in letting me know something was up. I decided to let Ianto do what he was doing –he was already half done by the time I found out and just kept an eye on Ivor Jones to see whether he remembered anything. I've been watching him since the first day he vanished."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know what you would do Jack. You lost your temper, your sanity almost when you found out what he'd done –I don't blame you mind! I just did not think that you going after him again would help anyone. So I watched him and you and the others and now I'm telling you because I know by now you'll see there is no point in doing anything to him. He has no memory of what he did, and he's suffering every day and night thanks to Ianto's frightening ability to manipulate minds. Justice has been served."

Jack swallowed hard. "You complain that I'm secretive and yet-"

"I never said I wasn't. It's one of the reasons I don't rail on you about it. Doesn't mean there aren't some secrets that have a time and place to be shared."

"God!" Jack buried his face in his hands. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you would have wondered. It would have niggled at you. And now you know Ianto was telling you the truth about what he did. And… well, now you know that I have never stopped watching over him. I fucked up once with him –missing that Cyberman he was hiding still gets to me –I'll not make the same mistake twice. And if, God willing, Micka ever forgives me, I'll do whatever I have to to ensure I never let her down again either." Archie finished his statement with a fierce bit to his chip. Jack stared at him, and finally, nodded. He had nothing to say, so he said nothing.

"You gonna eat that stuff, or can I have it?"

Jack drew his food closer with a narrow eyed glare. Archie shrugged, "Worth a shot."

Jack shook his head and gathered his food up. He put it back in the bag and got up. He would accept this fate for Ivor Jones. But never would he stay and eat in his presence.

* * *

And that will probably be the last time we see Ivor Jones. Sorry if it seems rushed, but I didn't want a dragged out encounter between him and Jack.

Dear God, next chapter is chapter 60! I'm amazed I can see any other plotbunnies around this giant fat one!

Night's Darkness


	64. Chapter 60

Has anyone seen my plotbunnies? They've all run away. Hence why this is so late, and why it's… a bit meh.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 60**

_(14__th__ December 2008)_

Torchwood House had not changed much since Jack had last been here. That had been before Michaela's time. It was still old, weathered, ivy covered. But there were a few changes that just made it seem more… lived in. Some of the windows had been washed, as had the carpets.

"Micka lived in three rooms mostly. A bedroom, the kitchen and the sitting room. She practically turned it into a nest. Where do you wanna start?" Archie looked very uncomfortable, even as he spoke.

"Her bedroom. Best place to put something private." said Jack. He hoped that he would be the one who found whatever they were looking for. It would be less awkward for Archie, who clearly was not comfortable snooping in Michaela's things.

The bedroom had an oak four poster bed, with velvet curtains of dark blue and matching sheets. It struck Jack as… bare. He had expected more in the bedroom, like photos on the walls, books and magazines, hell a hairdryer left out. But everything was very sterile. There were legal texts piled on top of each other next to the bed, and they were well thumbed. A digital clock rested next to them. The oak wardrobe had suits and casual clothes deliberately divided in it.

"I don't think we're going to find anything here." Jack murmured, touching the velvet hanging of the bed. There wasn't even a lingering smell of Michaela in here. Just dead air. It gave Jack chills, as if Michaela had only barely existed, just like she had said, only there to save them and then she was gone.

"Maybe… want to check the sitting room?"

"Lets." Jack wanted to escape the… _nothingness_ of this room. It reminded him of Ianto's house just after the Cyberman had been discovered. Ianto had never bothered to unpack his stuff, he had been waiting for Lisa to come home and help him, so they could set up a home together. That felt like centuries ago.

They went down the stairs to the second floor and into the sitting room. At once Jack found himself smiling. This was more like it.

The room smelled like Michaela, there were comfy cushions and chairs everywhere. Two walls were taken up by bookcases, full of books, old, new and probably a few alien. Game consoles were stacked together off to the side. There were knick knacks here too, some also alien. This had been the room Michaela had actually lived it, Jack was certain. It made a sad sort of sense, why would Michaela turn a bedroom into her sanctuary, when she had very few good memories in any bedroom? But here, with books, and TV and games, she had lived in some way.

"Bookcase?" he asked quietly, pointing. Archie nodded and they moved over to the towering shelves. Jack skimmed over all the titles, noting the wide variety of choices. Fiction of all kinds, sci-fi, history, chick-lit, fantasy, horror, everything except crime novels Jack noticed. But there were plenty of non-fiction books on the psychology of criminals, on sexual predators, murderers, serial killers. Next to them were titles pertaining to feminism, women, and what a woman's role in life was. Jack shook his head in sad exasperation. No one in the world would ask what it means to be a man, what a man's role in life was, or why a man was so much better at something than a woman. Jack remembered flicking through the TV one night with Ianto and coming across a show hosted by that popular Englishman Stephen Fry. The question he had asked was 'Why were women better anglers than men?'. The actual answer was that women held the records in Britain for it, and if they had been men, no one would have asked the question in the first place.

It depressed Jack to see women put themselves together as a minority, especially when at this stage of humanity, they actually accounted for the larger half of the population across the world. He did not really believe that the more extreme feminists did anything to truly help women overall anymore than a patriarchal society did. Extremism rarely worked in the practise of its preaching; humans simply are not capable of sustaining the high levels of extremism for more than a short burst of time. Humans got lazy, they looked for easier ways, anything that would reduce how much energy they had to use. That was not slovenliness, or immorality, that was evolution. Jack had spent time on some of the remote islands of the world during his time in the army, and had seen the same conservation of energy in animals that had lost all sense of fear, to the point where they would hop into your hand quite happily.

Their next stop tended to be a cooking pot.

As Jack's fingertip skimmed over the book's spines, he grinned as he came across a series of books on evolution, including 'The Origin of Species', his thoughts matching the topic. But it should not have surprised him that Michaela and he thought the same way, he had learned that all those years ago.

_(17__th__ June 2005)_

It was a peaceful moment in the heavily draped room. Jack was sprawled on his back across the bed, cool cotton sheets under his bare skin as he rested his head in Michaela's naked lap. She was reclining back on a pile of pillows, running her fingers through his hair, eyes closed with a lazy contentment. It had taken Jack four days to get her relaxed enough to stop covering herself with a sheet the minute the sex was over. Now she was more relaxed than Jack had yet seen her, and she was too tired from Jack's many innovative exertions to care about hiding what he had already seen. There was a tiny little smile on her lips as she shifted deeper into the pillows with a puff of air escaping between the dusky pink lips.

Jack held her other hand on his chest, fingers entwined like lovers. He was probably playing with fire allowing himself to relax like this with her, after all, this was practically 21st century code for love, but right now he could not bring himself to care. He was thoroughly relaxed and sexed out himself, and was enjoying the quiet intimacy of the moment, casting his eyes around the room in a lazy look-around.

The room was richly decorated, with a four poster bed, and it was full of those warm colours like a sunset, reds, ambers, yellows. The deep red velvet of the curtains, the blackcurrant of the bedcover, the heavy, sex-filled, warm air gave the room a feeling of a womb, a place of solitude and comfort, where nothing could enter and disturb the peace. Jack sighed in satisfaction and closed his eyes, turning his head so his cheek was pressed against Michaela's thigh, his nose very close to that triangle of hair, so he could smell her, that most primal of scents, the scent he loved above all others because it let him feel he knew the person he was with in a way that was almost as intimate as being inside them.

Michaela sighed and Jack opened his eyes, looking up at her face. He was so close to her he was looking up along the line of her body, peering between the valley of her breasts to see her face as she opened her eyes. The green irises were dark as moss as she stared at the ceiling, still half dazed by pleasure and contentment. Her tongue darted out and she licked the pink lips, making them shine in the soft light, before she spoke in a quiet voice.

"I wonder which of the Queen Catherines this hotel was named for."

Jack chuckled, surprised and amused by the statement.

"Does it matter?" he asked nudging his head against her fingers to encourage them to continue stroking him like a cat.

"Why wouldn't it matter?" she asked wryly, still looking at the ceiling.

"It's just a name."

"Names make up part of who you are."

"Not the whole though." said Jack, thinking about his own name, which he had stolen from a good man without a real care for him.

"No… no it isn't the whole of you. But it is… I don't think I would be the same person if I had a different name. If I was Laura, I would be very different I think."

"Your name doesn't have an affect on who you are, not really."

"Maybe not… but it can affect how others react to you. I wouldn't react to a Reginald the same way I'd react to a Dave, would you?"

Jack shrugged as best he could, not wanting to discourage her from talking, but not having an answer for her. He liked talking to people, he liked talking to his bed-partners, so long as the conversation did not take a dangerous turn.

"Besides names have meanings. And that used to matter." said Michaela, crossing her ankles, making Jack's head lift up a little. He had a better view of her face now.

"Oh yeah? So what does your name mean?"

Michaela gave a wry smile, "Oh, my name means 'One who resembles God' in the feminine form. It's Hebrew."

"Resembles God, eh? Well, puts a fun spin on that time honoured phrase, 'fuck you till you see God."

Michaela chuckled, "Not to stroke your ego, but you've at least made me see stars."

Jack grinned up at her as her eyes came down from the ceiling and met his, blue to green. Jack lifted his free hand and stroked the outer curve of her breast, waggling his eyebrows at her. Michaela laughed, and Jack relished the sound. Michaela was all but silent outside this room, so hearing her laugh was especially satisfying for him.

"Your name is interesting too. Jack. Do you know what it means?"

"Unforgettable jaw-line?"

Michaela's smile turned so slightly into a gentle smirk, "Not quite. It's the English version of Jacob, which is Hebrew. It means 'he who supplants', as in, he who takes the place of another person. I think that's… interesting."

Jack's smile faltered, before righting itself, but now it was more forced as Michaela's eyes searched his. But then Michaela surprised him by running her fingers through his hair again and smiling at him.

"Oh well, what does it really matter, as you said?"

Jack had a sudden suspicion he had just been led along a thread he had been oblivious to. But then Michaela spoke again and he was distracted,

"I didn't think it could be like this."

"What could be like what?"

"This. What we're doing here."

Jack knew he should let go of her hand and pull away, they were heading to the danger zone. But he was still so comfy…

"I didn't think I could have sex with someone, knowing it was just for this week or whatever and… find it so easy. I didn't think people could be like this without bringing relationship baggage into it." continued Michaela, almost talking to herself. Jack stared at her in surprise and she must have seen it, because she grinned, "I'm not an idiot. I know your reputation. I knew this wasn't… and that should have sent me running for the hills. But this… just relaxing with you, even though we're not… it feels so good, why not do it? It's not like we're gonna be anything except sex, and yet… I don't mind that, because it feels good, not just physically but in my… heart. It's like… that's ok, y'know? Sorry, I'm not making any sense." She blushed and looked away.

Jack lifted his head off her lap and rolled onto his side, leaning on his elbow to support himself. He reached out with his other hand and cupped her cheek, pulling her to him so he could kiss her. Michaela sighed into his kiss and opened her mouth to him, hand reaching behind him to steady herself. Jack pulled her with him and managed to rearrange them both so she was stretched out on top of him, his hands pressing against her back to keep her crushed to his body. It had been too long since he had met someone who really got what he was looking for, even if she was not sure how to explain it, he had seen it in her face. For someone as young as her to understand the difference between intimacy of sex and a relationship…

"How old are you actually?" asked Jack, breaking the kiss he had been bruising her mouth with. Michaela looked down at him in bewilderment, pushing hair behind her ear as she answered slowly.

"I'll be 20 in November. Is that really an issue now?"

Hell no, thought Jack, although he would be lying if he claimed he was not a little bit perturbed by the sheer cavernous gap between their ages. He was over one hundred and fifty. She had not even experienced a full two decades. He had guessed she was only in her early twenties… but she wasn't even that. Still, that did not stop him from shifting his legs between hers, pressing his hips up to let her know he was eager for her again. Michaela sank onto him and kissed him again, rubbing against him with a delicious shiver. Jack worked his hands into her hair and sat up, pushing her with him without breaking the kiss, one of his hands sliding from her hair to her backside, squeezing the soft flesh he found there. Michaela giggled and groaned at the same time unbending her knees so she could wrap her legs around his hips, tangling her fingers into his hair. Then she broke the kiss and uttered one word.

"Condom."

Jack made sure not to make a noise of complaint as he reached back and grabbed the small packet off the bedside dresser. He wished science would hurry up and move on beyond these damn bits of plastic and latex, but he had found that Michaela was particularly firm about the use of them. He figured she must have had a pregnancy scare or something like that to make her so fixated on them, but he supposed that was better than not caring. At least she helped him put it on, rather than leaving him to fumble for himself. And as soon as he was ready, she was kissing him again, pressing flush against him as he lifted her up by the hips and lowered her down again, sliding in easily. Michaela moaned into his mouth and then drew away to bury her face in his neck, clutching at his back with biting fingers. As Jack pressed up into her again there was only one word he heard from her.

"Please…"

_(14__th__ December 2008)_

Jack sighed and wondered if he should have seen the damage Blaine had done to Michaela during that week. Seven whole days with her in his bed, and it had never occurred to him once that perhaps her shyness, her nervousness, even her excitement as he brought her to climax over and over had held undertones of something much darker than sheer inexperience.

"Stop it."

Jack looked at Archie who was scowling at him.

"You're feelin' guilty that you saw nothing. That's what she wanted. And she was a damn sight happier afterwards. Until Ianto told her he was in love with Lisa."

Jack decided not to ask how Archie had known exactly what he had been thinking about.

"I just… there were things I did notice… but I never would have thought-"

"No offence Jack, but I really don't want any details about what you two got up to in bed." said Archie, raising his eyebrows.

Jack nodded, and said, "Find anything?"

"Nothing. And there was nothing on the laptop. I doubt she really would have written anything down to be found. She was determined to cover it up, act like it never happened. Can't do that if you're writing about it."

Nodding in agreement, Jack walked away from the bookshelves and sat on the couch. He picked up a cushion next to him and held it to his chest for a moment, inhaling the scent. It smelled like Michaela, and Jack felt his stomach constrict as he realised he was actually starting to miss her for himself. He had worried about her, watched Ianto and Archie miss her, but for the first time, Jack realised that he himself missed Michaela. He had always harboured an affection for her after they had parted, but he had found a new respect for her after the trial and hearing her defend him with such passion.

Archie sat on the other end of the couch and said, "I don't think we're gonna find anything here."

Jack looked up and glanced around, before saying, "I don't know about that."

Archie looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Jack gestured to the shelves, "I found out she's got a broad range of interests, that she likes understanding things as much as she can, that she's trying to understand why that bastard did what he did. She likes to escape from the world and pretend she's somewhere else." He gestured at the game consoles. "She likes bright colours, she likes comfy things." He pointed at the cushions and blankets.

"Hrm, maybe you're right. But how will this help her?"

"We need to understand who she is if we're to help her I think. So… lets take another look at those bookshelves. C'mon."

Jack set down the cushion and returned to the bookshelf. After a few moments hesitation, Archie joined him.

* * *

_(15__th__ December 2008)_

Owen held out a thermos to Dr. Hamilton, earning a curious expression from her.

"I told you, you needed to try Ianto's coffee." heexplained with a little smile.

"Ah, thank you Dr. Harper. I must admit I am quite curious about it now." She poured out the dark liquid into plain white mugs as Owen sat down opposite her in the kitchenette of Providence Park. "It certainly smells good."

"Tastes better." saidOwen with certainty. Dr. Hamilton chuckled and sipped at it. Her eyebrows shot up to meet her hairline and she smiled,

"Oh well… that is good."

Owen chuckled and sipped it himself. The two doctors savoured the good coffee for a moment and then Owen set his cup down and said,

"Jack and Archie found nothing directly relevant up the House. Jack mentioned that her bedroom was pretty sterile and the sitting room was where she obviously spent all her time. He said she had a lot of books on criminal psychology, probably to understand why Blaine did what he did."

"That doesn't surprise me much." said Dr. Hamilton with a nod of her head. "Anything else?"

"She had a lot of video games and fiction games. Jack thought that meant she was always trying to escape reality."

"What about pictures? Photos of her and Ianto maybe? Her mother? Anything like that?"

Owen frowned, "No… Jack didn't mention anything like that."

"If there aren't any pictures, it could tell us something about her mind state."

"I can text him, but I would have thought Jack would have mentioned if he found any."

"Text him to be sure."

Owen nodded and did so. As he waited for a response, he looked up and said,

"I've been thinking, maybe I should see her myself. Maybe… maybe seeing me will jump start her into action."

"You think so?"

"I think she hates my guts for the alien pheromones."

"And you think that will propel her into a more active state?"

"I think maybe seeing me roaming free will annoy her enough to try to get out of here, and maybe cooperate with you so she can get out faster."

Dr. Hamilton sighed, considering the idea. Owen's phone beeped and he checked Jack's response.

"No pictures at all." he reported, "But Jack's going to see if he can find a box or something with them."

"Good. I suppose we could give your idea a try. I don't want her distressed, that will only make things worse. But something has to be done to kick-start her into action. Maybe this is the only thing that will…"

"I won't push hard. I'll just talk to her. I won't try to anger her." said Owen.

Dr. Hamilton nibbled on her lower lip before nodding, "Very well. She'll be up in her bedroom. I'll have the orderlies take Christine out for a walk so we have some privacy. Michaela doesn't leave her room much unless we make her."

Owen nodded and drew in a deep breath. He actually had something akin to a plan for this. He had something to say to Michaela, and if this did not break through her conviction that she was ok, then nothing would.

* * *

Any and all reviews would be seriously appreciated right now.

Night's Darkness


	65. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

_(15__th__ December 2008)_

They won't even let me read here.

Bastards.

I don't want to be here,

why can't I go

somewhere else for a while?

Even if it is just a book.

Christina is gone, they

took her for a walk.

Old and insane, she's

like a dog for them to care for.

No, I treat my dog better than they treat me.

_Woof._

That UNIT doctor is coming to see me.

I don't want to see her.

She comes in with that stupid smile

like I need placating.

What I need is to be let out of here.

_Please, I want to go home._

Who –oh god she has that

rapist-boss shooting

fucktard Owen-bloody-Harper!

What does he want? Is he gonna

spray me with pheromones like

his victims. I won't let him! I won't!

"Michaela, Dr. Harper is here to see you."

For God's sake I can see him.

My senses are the only thing

I have left to tell me the truth.

"Hello Michaela."

Why do they both

have to be English?

Honestly, is it just some

extra punishment?

"Y'know, Jack and Archie have been up to the House. They said you don't have any pictures up."

They've been going through my stuff?

Pictures are supposed to show people you love.

I don't love anyone.

_I love Jack._

How dare they go through

my stuff?

Am I really so nothing to

them that I

have no privacy?

Clearly no one in a crazy

house has any rights.

Force fed, force meds

-what else can be forced?

_Please don't_

_force me_

_to my knees._

"Your mother would probably like to know you're ill. We could get in touch with her."

My mum? No, she won't care.

Why would she care

About the child

she had been made

to have, the one

she wanted aborted?

_I wish you had never told_

_me that mum._

_I was six, and you_

_were drunk._

I loved you mum.

You never loved me.

_Why wouldn't you love_

_me?_

Maybe I am unloveable.

Maybe

that is why Blaine picked me,

treated me like a cow.

I never told anyone about

the cage.

_Please don't put me back in_

_the cage._

_I'll be good._

I'm punished whether

or not I'm good,

so why should I bother?

"Y'know, Archie and Ianto miss you. I know you don't believe it-"

I don't!

"But that's not what I came to say."

So why did you say it?

_I want Jack to love me._

I won't love Ianto.

Not again.

Get off my bed Harper!

"All you need to do is hear me out and then I'll go. Ok?"

There's nothing you can say!

"Just listen and then I'll leave you alone."

He's going to lie to me.

_Too much truth, let me_

_hear nice lies please._

"You resent being in here because you think you're fine."

I am fine!"

"You believe you're totally sane, that there's nothing wrong with you."

What are you, thick?

"But here's the thing Michaela."

Here comes the lie.

"You thought Blaine was going to come and kill you, that he was after your organs."

He is. I saw him sign the contract

with the head of the organ-theft ring!

"Now… you hate Blaine, don't you?"

Yes

Yes

_Yes_

"And you would never help him in anyway."

No

No

_No_

"But you tried to."

What?

"You drew your own organs out to help him."

I… no, that was-

"You said it was to make it easier for him."

But –but that wasn't meant, I-

"So Michaela, all I really wanted to say was this."

I, I, no.

"You drew your organs onto your skin to make it easier for your rapist to gut you… and you really think that you're ok?"

No! I mean-

_I didn't do it, not like_

_–I didn't mean…_

I did that. I remember.

No! There's nothing wrong with me.

But no one sane would

do that.

They couldn't.

_I didn't want it_

_to happen._

No. No,

It wasn't like that!

What was it like?

Not that!

_I don't want to be_

_gutted._

So why did you do it?

I did it because… because I…

Why did you do it?

I… I don't know.

_I don't like this._

_Please go away._

Why did you do it?

I don't know.

Why did you do it?

I don't know!

Why did you do it?

Are you insane?

… I don't know.


	66. Chapter 62

Why is it the very day I post something complaining about why I can't update… the plotbunny nibbles and I have a whole new chapter done? My brain likes to be ironic. I don't know when the next update will be, but hopefully it will be soon.

Also, please take a moment to admire the banner that was made for me by the lovely uld_numb3r, who was extremely patient with me as I changed my mind over and over again.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 62**

_(18__th__ December 2008)_

"It'll be Christmas next week." said Ianto out of the blue during lunch. Everyone looked up at him. He shrugged, "Well it will be. Only eight days away."

"You're joking!" Gwen held up her right hand and counted the days off on her fingers. "Oh, you're right."

"Great. A day off!" mock-cheered Owen.

"A day with Rhys' mum demanding to know why the wedding was postponed." groaned Gwen.

"A day when we get to watch London do battle with aliens." sighed Jack, thinking about the Doctor and his tendency to appear during Christmas. Maybe he would pay a visit this time. Doubtful.

"At least maybe we won't have to deal with people out of their time this year." said Tosh cheerfully, her hand curling around Owen's and squeezing. Owen returned the action and said nothing. He may have missed Diane as much as Katie, but he had Tosh now. At least… he thought he had her.

Their chat was disturbed by Owen's phone ringing. He pulled it out and checked the caller I.D.

"Dr. Hamilton." he said in greeting as he pressed it to his ear.

"Dr. Owen Harper I could kiss you!" came the cheerful reply.

"Oh if I had a pound for every woman who had said that to me." sighed Owen with a smirk, "But for what reason am I kissable to you."

Ianto snorted into his drink and blinked up at his brother.

Dr. Hamilton laughed, "Well I don't know why your words worked so well, but they did."

"Michaela spoke?"

The whole team now looked up with full attention.

"She spoke."

"Excellent!" Owen cheered and then wondered if what he was feeling was anything like what a parent felt when they heard their child had spoken for the first time. "What did she say?"

"She told me to piss off."

"Oh."

"Trust me, after weeks of silence, that's a good thing."

"So… did she say anything else?"

"She said she wouldn't talk to me because I'm UNIT. I was right, she doesn't trust me not to report back to UNIT."

"So she doesn't buy the whole doctor-patient confidentiality."

"I tried to explain that to her. She responded by saying doctors weren't supposed to harm, and you were clear evidence they did."

"… oops."

"It's ok. I can work with this. I just thought I would let you know."

"Thanks."

"Ask her if we can get Michaela a gift." said Ianto urgently.

"Ianto wants to know if we can get Michaela a Christmas gift."

"Of course. I can't promise she'll take it, but it's always a nice idea."

"Great, ok. Well, keep me posted."

"Of course."

It was later that day that Ianto came up to Owen looking nervous.

"Hey."

"Hey." said Owen peeling away a layer of subcutaneous tissue from an amphibious creature Jack insisted had six genders.

"So… Christmas is coming."

"So you said." replied Owen without thinking. Then his brain kicked into gear and he looked up. "Oh."

"Yeah." Ianto nodded sagely, pressing his lips together.

"Christmas."

"Christmas."

"Any… any thoughts on it?"

"I think it still holds firm to it's message of goodwill towards all men. Not sure about the Jesus stuff though."

"Smart Arse."

"Absolutely."

"Are you trying to make me say what we're both thinking?"

"You're thinking something?"

Owen set down his scalpel and levelled Ianto with a blank expression. "Ianto."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Ok, fine. You want to spend Christmas with me?"

"Yup."

"Good."

"Coffee?"

"Sure."

"Gonna get Jack a new butt plug?"

"Fuck off."

* * *

"My most vivid memory of a good Christmas was with Michaela. And even that ended in disaster." said Ianto to Dr. Hamilton.

"Disaster?"

"It was all fine for the day, we got completely drunk, Archie gave us paint-guns for presents and we covered the House in colour, then we passed out."

"Sounds fun."

"Yeah. But the next morning when we woke up, I ruined it by kissing her. She threw me out. If I hadn't OD'd on New Year and called her begging for help… I'd be dead and she wouldn't be stuck in that hospital."

"Don't you think you're taking a little too much credit where Michaela is concerned?"

Ianto scowled at her, "So you're saying I didn't make her ill?"

"I'm suggesting you weren't the only factor. Does that bother you?"

"No… maybe a little."

"Ianto… if you were the centre of her world, that wouldn't be any healthier."

"I know. I mean… I get it. No one should be the only thing someone else cares about. That's dangerous."

"You sound certain of that."

"I am. I made Lisa all I cared about. Nearly got my brother killed, as well as the others. I know first-hand how dangerous it can be. But… I was kinda the centre of Michaela's world. When we went out I knew she could only do it because I was there. We would sometimes go to clubs… try to be normal. She could only do it if she clung on to my arm."

"Did you maybe encourage her a little?"

Ianto folded his arms, well aware he was getting into a defensive stance. He tucked his chin into his chest and shrugged like a child.

"Maybe a little. Made me feel good that she needed me."

"You like being needed, don't you?"

Swallowing hard, Ianto nodded.

"Why is that Ianto?"

"Because if you're needed, you can't be thrown away."

* * *

_(20__th__ December 2010)_

Jack could honestly not remember when he had last gone Christmas shopping. He thought it might have been when Alice was 17, but he wasn't sure. But he was on a mission to get some damn good presents. One for Ianto, one for Archie, one for Tosh, one for Gwen, one for Owen, one for Michaela, one for Dubhtach, and one for Bart and Señor. He was not sure why he was so determined to include the pets, but he figured that they deserved it too.

Dubhtach was still in a deep funk, taking her walks without any sign of pleasure. She was missing her mistress. But Dr. Hamilton had suggested bringing her in for Christmas Day, so hopefully that would cheer the dog up. Bart and Señor seemed to be trying to help their master by making it very hard for Ianto and Jack to get hot and heavy together –Bart was especially good at this. Jack had the strangest idea that the rabbits were trying to keep Ianto from feeling worse about his continuing problem by making it easier for him to say no to Jack. Not that Jack was being pushy. He was perfectly willing to wait for Ianto to be ready. Since the night after the Night Travellers they had not even tried to have sex, and Jack was beginning to think that had been a step in the wrong direction. But he was not sure what was the right step.

Toshiko was easy, Jack would make her a gadget do-da for her own entertainment, she would love that. Owen would probably take whiskey or some other drink item. Gwen would probably like some kind of gift for both her and Rhys, like a pre-Wedding gift. As for the others…

Jack paused to peer into an antique shop, when he noticed the reflection of the shop opposite in the window. He looked over his shoulder at the T-shirt print shop and grinned. Ten minutes later and he had Archie's gift sorted. Then he returned to the antique shop and went inside. He thought Ianto might like something that had some history. Then again… maybe Ianto was sick of history for now, and would prefer something modern, or something for the future. Jack groaned and left the antique shop without looking at anything, needing to consider what angle he should go for before he bought something that was totally wrong.

He was beginning to remember why he did not go Christmas shopping.

* * *

Why does everything feel different?

Why does everything seem less real… or more real… I really don't know which it is?

Even I don't feel the same.

_I don't really think I like this._

There's a mirror in the bathroom.

Maybe I'll see the differences.

Oh… Is that me?

How can that be me? I look… I look like Kate Moss!

_I don't wanna look like Kate Moss, too skinny!_

Touching the mirror, reflection does the same.

Nose touches cold glass, go cross-eyed.

My freckles are almost gone. No sunlight to bring them out.

When was the last time I felt the sun on my skin?

I love my freckles, my briciní.

_Briciní. Little stars._

When the Tower of Babel fell and people could no longer speak

The Gaels sought the Gods and complained of loosing the stars

Because of the mist that hangs over Ireland all the time

The original light-pollution

Without the stars the Gaels would forget the Gods

To preserve the memory of the Gods, the Universe itself,

The Gods drew a map on the Gaels.

A map of stars.

And when time ends, all the Gaels

will gather together on the Hill at Uisneach

Together, their freckles will form a map of the Universe.

And in that moment, they will remember everything.

They will ascend into enlightenment.

I don't look very enlightened anymore.

I look like a ghoul.

A Bean Sídh.

I'm gaunt, like Harper.

Harper…

He came to see me, and now I don't know what to think.

I drew on my own skin… to _help_ **Blaine**.

Stomach turns. Going to vomit.

Heaving up the breakfast I ate.

I ate breakfast today. I was refusing, until Harper showed up.

They had put me on a drip.

_When Ianto O.D'd, they put him on a drip. I watched the fluid go into his arm,_

_I willed it to make him better._

_I kissed him._

Brush my teeth, get rid of the taste.

It's still better than blood.

Blood is frightening.

Could mean I'll die.

Never wanted to die.

Did I?

I mean, if I was prepare to let Blaine take my organs…

Did that mean I wanted to die?

No. No I never wanted to die.

But I don't think I want to live either.

So what is left?

"Michaela? Are you alright dear?"

Christina. Roommate.

Reminds me of my granny.

Granny… Granddad. Two people who actually seemed happy to see me.

Not like mum.

Mum… 16 years old when she had me. And I was breach.

Bit of a squeeze from what I understand.

Granny and Granddad made her have me. Wouldn't let her travel to the UK to abort me.

I think mum kept me from them to punish them. They tried to see me, but I wasn't really able to until I was 17. A year older than my mum was when she had me.

Always felt proud that I managed to be older than her and not have kids.

Later realised I probably can't have children. Blaine never got me pregnant

Nine months of constant fucking without protection.

Odds are it's just another thing wrong with me.

Mum, Blaine, Ianto, Jack, all the guys when I was a teen… what do they all have in common?

Me.

Guess I just bring out the worst in people.

* * *

_(23__rd__ December 2008)_

Ianto went to the apartment block Archie was staying in while he was in Cardiff, Dubhtach next to him on a leash to keep complaints off his back rather than for any real need. He swallowed and rang the doorbell for no. 36.

"Yes?" growled Archie.

"It's me. Can I come up?"

"… sure."

Ianto swallowed hard as the door buzzed and the lock clicked. He pushed the door open and went to the stairs. He had been avoiding this confrontation for weeks now. But he was aware of the dates, and he was starting to feel pinpricks of guilt in his skull whenever he saw Archie wandering around the Hub looking as forlorn as Dubhtach. Since Archie wasn't the leader of Three, even though he was the Head of Torchwood, there was very little he had to do in the Hub, although he continued to handle UNIT and other bureaucrats that Jack could not stand. And Ianto had refused to talk to him if he could avoid him.

It was time he did something about that.

He took the stairs, Dubhtach did not like the lift, and it allowed him to think about what he was going to say. He reached the door and knocked, forcing himself not to hesitate. Archie answered at once.

They stared at each other. Ianto thought about all his anger over Archie's trick. Of his own actions. Of Michaela's actions. He had come here planning to rehash, to discuss, to argue, much like he did with Dr. Hamilton. But instead he straightened up and said,

"Wanna come over to my house on Christmas Day?"

Archie blinked at him. Then he lifted his glass of scotch to his lips, drank a large mouthful, then smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah I'd like to."

* * *

Reviews are greatly appreciated. Also, any ideas what Jack should get Ianto for Christmas? I honestly can't think of anything that isn't a fandom cliché, (suit, suit related item, stop watch, pocket watch or coffee) and I want to avoid them if I can.

Thanks!

Night's Darkness


	67. Chapter 63

**Feel free to ignore this, but I needed somewhere to vent. **

**Author's Rant:** Ok, I know it's been over a month now… but quite frankly it has been the shitiest month(s) ever. I feel like locking myself up in a room with a computer and never leaving so I won't have to deal with people who seem to be out to make me feel like shit –who are meant to be my friends –or family dramas that I don't understand the underlying problem and can't do anything to fix! I'm upset, I'm angry, I'm tired, I can't sleep, I have exams starting in two days and every single one of my story ideas, inspiration and everything else that helps me to write –and that makes me happy even when I'm down –has vanished off the face of my brain. I literally had to claw this out of my mind –and it's not a chapter I'm happy with, it feels sub-par. Literally the only thing that has cheered me up in the past week has been re-watching Linkara's 'History of Power Rangers' (most awesome thing ever!) and indulging in complete nostalgia. With all that said, I _really _need to hear some nice comments from people who consider me worthy of giving their time to read my stuff, I _really _need to be told what I'm actually doing right, so please, please comment.

Sorry… needed to say that to someone.

I do hope you enjoy this chapter… I really wanna say the rest of the Christmas chapter will pre-date actual Christmas… but at this point I'm so deep in depression it seems unlikely.

* * *

**Chapter 63**

_(25__th__ December 2008)_

Ianto awoke to an empty bed. On Christmas.

"If that's not a bad omen I don't know what is." he muttered to himself as he glanced at Jack's side of the bed.

When had Jack gotten a side?

At least he had his rabbits. They at least were curled up next to him. Señor licked Ianto's nose in greeting when Ianto petted him, and Bart tried to burrow down the neck of his t-shirt. As Ianto sat up, dislodging the rabbit, he noticed that there were scraps of paper on the duvet. He reached out and picked up one of the larger pieces. He saw what looked like Jack's hand writing on it. He narrowed his eyes and glanced at Bart, who stared up at him with wide innocent eyes.

"You really hate Jack don't you?"

Bart seemed to shrug, before climbing off Ianto's lap and hopping off the bed. Ianto rolled his eyes and reached for his phone. He dialled Jack's number.

"Ianto? Get my message."

"No. You left it within reach of Bart."

"Oh damn, I left it on the pillow so you'd see it. I didn't even think about Bart."

"Despite the fact that he's destroyed every lace you own now, and started on your socks?"

"… Yeah I was in a rush."

Ianto chuckled, shaking his head.

"Anyway, Merry Christmas Ianto!"

"Nadolig llawen Jack."

"Mmm, damn Weevil taking me away from hot Welshmen speaking welsh." groaned Jack.

"Ah, that's why I woke up alone."

"Yeah, sorry, I had hoped to be back before you woke, but this guy's frisky."

Ianto grimaced at the suggestive voice Jack used. "Well… when will you be back?"

"In an hour. We can have breakfast when I get back, ok?"

"Ok. Maybe I'll bring Dubhtach over to the hospital now, so Michaela can have the whole day with her. And I can drop off my present to her."

"Good idea, will you take mine too. And I think Archie left his for her too."

"Yes I know."

"Of course you do. You know everything."

Ianto laughed as he hung up. He showered quickly and pulled on a pair of black trousers and a red jumper. Catching the rabbits, he put them away and covered up their hutch after giving them a fresh mixture of carrot, banana and apple for Christmas. He fed Dubhtach and gathered up the gifts for Michaela, there were four, one from him, one from Jack, one from Archie and one from Rhys, putting them into a bag. He left the bag at the front door and went back to get Dubhtach.

"Come on girl, Car-ride." he called. At once Dubhtach rose to her paws and went to the door. Ianto smiled at the dog's obedience. Maybe she knew where she was going. He pulled on his coat and wrapped a scarf around his neck, burying the ends in the front of his coat. He picked up the bag and left, locking the door behind him. He dropped his back seats and let Dubhtach get in.

"Stay." he said gently. She stood still and peered out the back window. Ianto put the presents on the front seat and turned on the ignition. He drove to the hospital, smiling as he saw children running around in their garden's playing with their new toys. It was meant to snow this evening and Ianto hoped that was the case. Snow on Christmas itself was a rare treat.

Providence Park's car park was pleasingly full as Ianto arrived. It was something to know at least some of the inhabitants were not forgotten about.

"C'mon Dubhtach." he said as he opened the boot. Looking a little wobbly, Dubhtach lopped out of the boot and waited for him to lock the car before moving towards the building. He saw that there were several small groups of people dotted about the grounds, having private moments with their loved ones. He wished he could do that with… actually he wished he could take her home. But she wasn't ready, so Dr. Hamilton said.

The receptionist took one wide-eyed look at Dubhtach and said, "No need to ask who you're here to see. Michaela Murphy, right?"

"That easy, huh?"

"Well the giant dog with the cute escort does give it away." she said with a cheeky grin. Ianto flushed and smiled bashfully at her. "Come on, she doesn't know you're coming. We thought that seeing her dog would be a nice surprise."

"Can… can I see her?" asked Ianto hopefully.

"Dr. Hamilton said you can't talk to her. But you can come with me to drop the dog off, she's been calm today. She's in her room."

"I'm glad to hear that." said Ianto, his stomach twisting into knots as he brushed his fingertips over the top of Dubhtach's head to ground him. The nurse smiled wider,

"I think she will be thrilled to see this… little horse."

Ianto chuckled.

They climbed the stairs, the banisters of which had tinsel wrapped around them. The staff had clearly made an effort to decorate the hospital and it showed, making Ianto smile. He remembered the way to Michaela's room, and wondered if Christine was there. He was not sure how he felt about that… but it did seem very tragic that she was all alone, and Ianto was not there to see her. He knew why Jack hated doing clean up after difficult cases.

"Michaela!" called the nurse in a cherry voice as they reached the room. "We have a surprise for you!"

Ianto barely got a chance to see Michaela before Dubhtach barked, broke her training and bound into the room to dance at the feet of her mistress. Michaela, still in scrubs, gasped and fell to her knees on the floor like a marionette whose strings had been cut, her bony arms throwing themselves around Dubhtach's neck while Dubhtach licked at her face with pure delight. Michaela let out a broken noise and buried her face in the short curly hair on the neck of the dog and shuddered like she was cold. Ianto hovered at the door, wishing he could get closer, but knowing he had to stay back.

"Looks like you've been missed Michaela." said the nurse with a smile.

Michaela pulled away to look at the nurse, and then spotted Ianto. Her shaky smile faded and she stared at him. Ianto gave her an unsure smile.

"Hi 'kaela." he murmured.

She said nothing, but continued to stare at him. Ianto swallowed and glanced at the nurse who gave him a reassuring smile. He nibbled at his lower lip as he set the bag down on the floor in the room. "These are presents, it's Christmas today and… well there's one from me, and one from Jack, another from Archie and one from Rhys. I hope you like them."

Michaela looked from the bag to Dubhtach to Ianto, looking utterly baffled. She stroked Dubhtach's head gently, then said quietly,

"She's not dead."

Ianto tried not to flinch, certain he knew what she was thinking, even as she said, "I thought you'd killed her. I mean… you locked me up… and why would you keep her around?"

"We never locked you up 'kaela. You needed… we were worried about you, you needed someone to look after you, in a way we couldn't give you. We want you back, but only when you're well. Dubhtach misses you so much, we… I miss you."

Michaela's face was clouded with confusion, fear, and a hesitant curiosity. Ianto wanted to say more to encourage her, but Michaela turned away and buried her face in Dubhtach's fur again, arms clinging to the large dog. Ianto swallowed hard, and decided to leave before he lost the strength to stay silent. He smiled at the nurse as he left the hospital and stuffed his hands into his pockets as he made his way to the car park. But he was not halfway there before he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he looked up, certain he was being watched. His eyes skimmed the building and landed on a window. Michaela stood there, the yellow light of her room giving her something like a halo. She was staring down at him, a frown creasing her face, as if she was confused.

Ianto stared up at her, not sure what she was seeing, and wishing she was seeing him. She tilted her head to the side and then lifted her hands to press against the glass in loose fists, the frown softening just a little. She looked younger now, like a little girl, and Ianto fancied he fell a little bit in love with her in that moment, as their eyes stayed fixed on one another's. Then Michaela lifted a hand from the glass and gave a tiny fluttering of her fingers. She was waving to him. A lump formed in Ianto's throat and he lifted his own hand above his head, returning the simple movement. Michaela ducked her head shyly, and Ianto wondered if she was blushing as she turned away and disappeared into the room again.

The lump in his throat swelled and he barely managed to wait until he got into the car before allowing the gut-wrenching pain at leaving her behind to overwhelm him for a moment. He covered his eyes and let out several gasping breaths, wishing he could just go back inside and take her home with him. But she wasn't ready, he could see it, even if he did not want to acknowledge it.

Drawing himself up, Ianto turned on the ignition and began to drive home, his mind pulling him back into memories as he went. He remembered how he had spent last Christmas bent over Jack's desk, trying to help Jack forget John's suicide and trying to forget his own pain. He remembered that he had spent the Christmas before that working a Christmas shift at Torchwood One, and then the Cybermen had come. The Christmas before that had been with Lisa and their friends. The Christmas before that he and Michaela had had a drunken night that had started with their timid attempts at sex and ended in making snowmen at 3am to celebrate being together for a year.

Ianto grinned as he recalled putting Michaela on his shoulders like a child so she could set the football sized head on the seven-foot-something snowman they had made. His grin faded as he got home and remembered Lisa and he cooking together to get the dinner ready for everyone. It had felt really good, really normal, and for a moment Ianto had been able to see a future stretched out before them. Christmas dinners for years, first as a couple, then with kids, then even grandchildren. All of it had been snuffed out in the blink of an eye.

"Hey."

Ianto looked up, he had not realised he had stopped dead in the hall as the door shut. Jack was standing in front of him, braces bunched at his hips, watching him carefully. "You ok?"

Ianto licked his lips and shrugged. "Dunno." he said in honesty.

Jack nodded. "Yeah…"

Ianto swallowed hard and tried to breath normally, knowing if he sucked in the deep breaths he wanted to, he would start crying again. Jack's arms engulfed him in a tight hold and Ianto rested his head on Jack's shoulder, breathing in the scent at his neck. Jack held him for a moment and then said gently,

"You took the pills, yeah?"

"Not yet. I'll take them now."

"You usually take them as soon as you get up."

"I… forgot."

Jack raised an eyebrow and Ianto flushed, but he looked at Jack with honest eyes. He genuinely had forgotten to take them since he was used to taking them when he had picked out his suit, treating them as part of his armour.

"Well, come and take them and then we'll do our presents."

"Should I be worried or excited that you insisted on doing this before my brother arrives?"

Jack smiled, rather than smirked. "You'll just have to see. Go on, go take them. I'll pour us some eggnog."

"We don't have any."

Jack smirked, "Yeah we do. I made some."

"You… made eggnog?"

"Always so surprised." sighed Jack, pushing Ianto up the stairs.

"Just remember I can't take alcohol."

"A tiny drop won't kill you."

"Rather stick to the rules thanks."

"Spoilsport."

Ianto chuckled as he stepped over Señor and went into his bedroom. He took his pills and came downstairs to find Jack had lit the fire in his sitting room and had a tray of biscuits and eggnog waiting on the coffee table, next to two large presents. The two rabbits were eating a bowl of bananas and apples near Jack's feet and for once Bart was not attacking Jack's feet, which lacked shoes as he reclined back into the couch. The room held the Christmas tree and Ianto had meticulously decorated the real pine needles, opting for green and red as opposed to the more stylish blues and whites people seemed to prefer these days. Ianto thought the green and red was a warmer look.

The scene was so disarmingly domestic that Ianto had to stare for a moment.

"What?" asked Jack as he reclined back, cracking open one eyes to look at Ianto when he did not move from the doorway.

"…Just… so domestic." muttered Ianto, tugging at his collar.

Jack glanced around and felt his own stomach constrict as he saw what Ianto meant. "Oh… right."

They shared looks of alarm.

"So… we're a couple, aren't we?"

"So it would seem."

"Why is this only just occurring to me? We already had the 'when did you move in' talk."

"We're unconventional." shrugged Jack.

Ianto snorted, "That is the understatement of the millennia. And it's still early days for this millennium."

Jack smiled lazily at him and held out his hand. "Come on. Let's be sickeningly domestic. It'll make Owen climb the walls if he comes over to find us acting all coupley."

Ianto grinned wickedly, "Oh that sounds like fun."

"Besides which, presents!"

"I do like presents." Ianto sighed happily, coming over and sitting down next to Jack. He reached for the presents, just as Bart leapt at Jack's feet and bit his big toe.

"OW!"

* * *

Thanks for reading –I'm out of things to say.

Night's Darkness


	68. Chapter 64

Hi guys, I would like to say to everyone who sent me such lovely thoughts, comments and support; Thank you so much! I really, really appreciated it, I was feeling so low last update, but your comments really made me smile and feel happy about myself and what I'm doing. So thank you all so very much.

I hope you enjoy this chapter and continue to enjoy this fic until the very end.

* * *

**Chapter 64**

_(25__th__ December 2008) _

Once Ianto had Bart safely ensconced in the kitchen and Jack had finished nursing his healing toe, they faced each other and Ianto grinned. Jack sulked,

"It's not funny!"

"It's hilarious. Captain Jack Harkness, the man who can seduce anyone into bed, who can face down Daleks, Cybermen and any other kind of evil creature, is being bullied by a tiny bunny rabbit."

"He is not bullying me!"

"Jack, he's forced you from his chair, you're scared to take your shoes off most days. You hide your shoes and socks in the top shelf of my wardrobe. Face it. Bart's your bully."

"I am Captain Jack Harkness. I am no bunny's bitch!"

Ianto's lips twitched and he raised his eyebrows at Jack. Jack screwed his lips and scrunched his nose as he realised how stupid he was being. Ianto said nothing, only watched him for another few moments before saying lightly,

"Presents?"

"Please."

They sat back down and Jack grabbed his own carefully wrapped present. He weighed it in his hands before holding it out looking anxious.

"Happy Christmas Ianto." he murmured. Ianto smiled and accepted the gift.

"Thank you."

He reached out to give his, but Jack shook his head,

"Open it. I wanna make sure it's ok first."

Ianto glanced up at him curiously, then sat back and pulled at the paper. The sound of the tearing made Señor look up and he watched as Ianto pulled the shiny paper away.

"A photo frame?" he asked, putting the paper aside as he frowned at the non-descript blue box.

"Open it." urged Jack, wide eyed and hopeful. Ianto glanced at him curiously then pried open the box and pulled out the frame within. It was a light coloured wood, with several panels for more than one photo.

"Oh…"

"Like it?" Jack's voice was nervous.

"I…"

Ianto could not speak. Jack had already filled the frame with photos. The first one that caught his eyes was in the top left corner, it was of him and Lisa, arms around each other as they stared into each other's eyes. It had been at a party, and a friend had caught them in an unposed moment of happiness. In the next panel was a picture of him and Owen, playing pool in a pub. It had been taken months ago, long before the big revelation, but they had been relaxed and enjoying their game, so they were grinning at each other playfully. Next was a photo of him and Jack, no doubt from the CCTV in the Hub, with Jack holding Ianto close as they whispered to one another. The one at the bottom was of him and Gwen and Tosh from another pub night, a more recent one. The final picture was of him and Michaela, from their second Christmas together. It had been taken on a timer, they were on the couch, her legs over his lap and arms around his shoulders his arms around her middle, hands splayed over her ribs and belly.

Ianto touched the last picture thoughtfully, finally remembering what her smile looked like.

"Where did you get this one?"

Jack smiled, edging closer so he was almost resting his chin on Ianto's shoulder, "I found it among all your photos when I was looking. It was almost hidden under all the ones of Lisa, there don't seem to be many of you two together."

"No… neither of us liked having our picture taken."

"Can't see why." Jack touched Ianto's fingers resting on the glass, "You're both gorgeous."

"We were happy." sighed Ianto.

"Where did that all go?"

Ianto shrugged, "We broke up."

"Yeah, but why?"

Ianto looked at Jack and sighed, "If you really want to know… it was her decision."

Jack tried to hide his reaction, tried to keep his face curious, but it was obvious he had not expected that. Ianto shrugged again, smiled and said,

"Ah well… it's done. Here." he held out his own gift, "Happy Christmas. I'm afraid it's nowhere near as inventive or special."

Jack shook himself out of his shock and pulled the present to him. He tore away the paper and grinned as he saw the contents.

"A pocket watch!"

"I figured you could use some help keeping time. You're always late." said Ianto smiling, his own eyes half on the photos.

"Thank you." smiled Jack reaching out and pulling Ianto to him so he could kiss him. Ianto returned the kiss with more fervour, pulling Jack to him until they were splayed on the couch making out like a pair of teenagers. Jack had to focus all his energy on staying in control of himself, he did not want to remind Ianto of what they could not do. Thankfully Ianto pulled away first with a groan,

"I'd better get this food started."

"Need any help?"

"Sure. Potatoes need peeling."

They spent an hour in the kitchen, preparing the food as the smell of cooking turkey and ham began to fill the house. Jack began to sing tunes as he worked,

"I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside

I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside

This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in

So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice…"

He glanced at Ianto, hoping he would start to join in, but Ianto had a frown on his face, a thoughtful frown.

"What is it?"

"I… I dunno. I'm sure I've heard this song sung by someone before… y'know?"

"It's an old song, loads of people know it."

"No, I mean… I think maybe Mam would sing it."

"With Ivor?"

"No… I think maybe with Dad. But I can't remember clear enough."

"Owen might."

"Yeah…" Ianto shook himself and smiled at Jack, returning to his work.

"How, uh, how was she?" asked Jack quietly, as he shredded the red cabbage.

"She… she was ok. I mean, she thought we had killed Dubhtach until she saw her… but then when I was leaving… she looked at me from the window and I just… felt there was something different. I think she was seeing me, not whatever she was deluding herself into seeing."

"Ah… sounds like an improvement."

"Yeah… I hope so."

At 5pm Owen and Tosh arrived, looking pink-cheeked and swollen lipped. Jack grinned at the sight of them,

"Did you two get stuck under the mistletoe… for an hour?"

"Yeah, yeah, like you haven't been up to the same stuff with my little brother." growled Owen as he helped Tosh out of her coat.

"Actually Ianto and I have been in the kitchen all day cooking up a storm!" Jack said this with as much sugary sweetness as he could, grinning wider at the nauseated look appearing on Owen's face.

"Jack! The sprouts!" wailed Ianto from the kitchen, almost on cue. Jack barely got away from the other two without laughing as Owen groaned in disgust. He shared a wicked grin with Ianto in the kitchen. "How bad is it?"

"He'll be vomiting in two minutes if we keep this up."

"Shall we leave this stuff to cook and then cuddle on the couch in front of him?"

"Oh yes… yes lets do that."

When Archie arrived at Ianto's house, feeling a little unsure about himself, he was greeted by Toshiko, who's eyes were glittering with amusement and she was giggling.

"Hello!" she smiled,

"Merry Christmas lass." he said quietly, holding up a bottle of scotch whiskey.

"Merry Christmas. Come on in. Jack and Ianto are just torturing Owen."

"Oh aye?" Archie tried not to look bewildered. Tosh giggled as she took his coat and hung it on the banister.

"They're being cute together. It's making Owen ill."

"Ah… of course they are." muttered Archie with a shake of his head. Tosh grinned at him and they shared a moment of mischievous understanding. It was broken by Owen yelling,

"Oi! That's enough, cut it out before I have to separate you two!"

"We'd best get in there and save one of them from another." said Archie with a grin.

"Yes, of course."

They wandered into the sitting room where Jack had his arms around Ianto in a big bear hug and appeared to be feasting on his ear. Ianto was grinning stupidly and was bright pink in the face. Owen looked utterly disgusted and looked at Archie and Tosh with determination so he could ignore the other two.

"Happy Christmas Archie."

"Merry Christmas Dr. Harper. I think you'll need this." Archie held up the bottle. Owen lunged at it and clutched it to his chest,

"Salvation!"

"You drunk." sneered Ianto, pushing Jack away a little so he could turn his head. "Hi Archie, merry Christmas."

"And to you my lad." said Archie carefully. While Tosh was already seated and trying to pry the scotch from Owen's hands, Archie hung back, feeling unsure. Ianto smiled a little at him and gestured to the spare seat next to him and Jack.

"Have a seat. Dinner should be ready very soon."

"Ah, excellent. Looks like Jack's hungry enough if he's trying to eat you."

Jack smirked, "Ianto tastes better than food!"

Owen made retching noises while Tosh giggled again. Ianto blushed harder.

"Hrm… yes, well," coughed Archie, not entirely sure what to say to that. Tosh was still trying to pry the bottle out of Owen's hands. "Presents!" decided Archie, lifting up the bag in his hand. "I got something for you Ianto."

"Oh… thanks Archie."

Archie handed over the bag and Ianto pulled out the small box. He tore off the wrapping paper and let out a laugh.

"A DS!"

"Well, I figured it would be something to do besides being anal about filing." said Archie with a shrug. Ianto grinned at him.

"Thank you. Excellent!"

The two shared a look of private memories. Jack then got up and plucked some presents from under the tree.

"Archie this is from Ianto and me." he gave the soft parcel to the Scotsman. He then passed Tosh a smaller gift and gave Owen a bottle of drink with a bow on it. Archie ripped off the paper of his gift and unfolded the T-shirt inside. He let out a bark of laughter.

"Very nice Jack, very nice indeed."

He turned the tartan print T-shirt around and showed the others the personal motto on the front. 'I'd rather be a stereotype than a crowd follower' underneath which was a picture of a bottle of scotch on it. Tosh cooed at the sight of her gift, which was a portable translator for her to play with. Jack had fashioned it from bits and pieces in the Archives –with Ianto's permission of course.

"Here, Ianto." said Owen quietly, holding out a large gift. Ianto accept it, and passed Owen a smaller one. Ianto opened his and found a carrier box, inside of which was a teddy-bear, dressed in a black suit with a red tie. "It's a Tea-Boy Bear. To go with Doctor Bear." muttered Owen, looking unsure. Ianto held the teddy in his hands and then held it to his chest, smiling shyly as he hugged it.

"Thanks Owen."

"You're welcome."

Owen swallowed and then looked at his own gift, before ripping it open. He stared in shock, before a grin broke out over his face.

"Oh wow…"

"I found it a while ago." shrugged Ianto.

Owen smiled and held it out to Tosh. She took it and smiled at the sight of Owen and Ianto as little boys, with their parents on either side of them.

"Your mother was beautiful." she said quietly.

The two men nodded, Ianto still holding his bear. Jack put his arms around Ianto again and Tosh took Owen's hand.

A beeping noise started coming from the kitchen and Ianto got up, taking Jack with him because Jack was still holding on. They walked in a weird double act to the kitchen, and then Archie heard the two of them burst into childish giggles. Owen was too busy wrestling with Tosh to notice. Archie shook his head.

Dinner was a surprisingly relaxed affair, they pulled crackers after their starter of corn on the cob, and read the jokes out.

"What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam."

"Oh…" they all groaned.

"What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper."

"Gah!" shuddered Owen.

Jack read his and beamed, "Why are chocolate buttons rude? Because they are Smarties in the nude."

"Oh for God's sake!" groaned Archie, covering his eyes.

Ianto drank his orange juice and shook his head. "So horrid."

"Why are these things always shit?" asked Owen, waving his own piece of paper. His paper crown was set at an angle, Tosh having forced it on his head.

"I dunno, lazy writing?"

"Actually, I heard a theory that it's because no joke will appeal to everyone, so if you tell a joke at a party, you'll split the room between those who like it, and those who don't. But if the joke is bad, then everyone is against the joke, and thus unified." said Tosh with a nod.

"Hrm… makes sense."

"Doesn't make it any funnier though." sighed Owen.

The ham and turkey Ianto had cooked were delicious, juicy and succulent. Jack's roast potatoes were crispy outside and fluffy inside. Archie covered his in gravy and dug in with relish. Jack and Ianto shared a grin at the sight of him. They were all hungry and happy enough to have two rounds.

"Ah…" sighed Owen, looking like he had been sedated as he leaned back in his chair. "That may be one of the best meals I've ever had."

Ianto smirked, "I am good."

"Hey! I helped." reminded Jack.

"Yeah, if you call giving me a 'naked apron' help."

"I made the potatoes!"

"Hmmm… that is true."

"And I did it after your bratty bunny tried to eat me."

"He always does that, you'd think you'd be immune by now."

"It still hurts!"

"Oh get over it. He's ever gonna stop."

Jack groaned and then sulked. Archie chuckled, then covered a yawn with his hand.

"You'll never win Jack."

"No I won't!"

* * *

"Good night, wasn't it?" said Owen quietly as Ianto passed him his coat. The two brothers were alone in the hall as Tosh bid Jack and Archie a quiet good night.

"Yeah… really good actually." said Ianto, matching his tone.

"Thanks for the photo… I didn't realise there were any left from back then."

"Yeah, thanks for the bear."

"Yeah well, figured it would be… I dunno… clever."

"It was. I like him."

They stood there in silence, feet scuffing the floor. Then Ianto rolled his eyes with a huff and embraced Owen, holding him tight. Owen clung on to him, the two of them squeezing each other's shoulders. After a few moments, Owen clapped Ianto on the back and they pulled apart.

"Guess we should head on out. Taxi's waiting."

"Ok. See you tomorrow."

"Yup. Tosh!"

"Coming." Tosh was wrapped up in her pretty blue coat and scarf. She hugged Ianto and he kissed her cheek, "Good night you guys. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

"I'll head off too." said Archie, pulling on his coat.

"We can call you a taxi."

"Nah, I'll walk. Need to walk off that delicious dinner."

Ianto smiled, eyeing Archie's pot-belly. "If you're sure."

"Yup." sighed Archie, patting his stomach. "Last thing any of us need is me having a heart attack."

"Indeed."

"Anyway, good night lads."

"Night Archie." Ianto closed the door and turned to Jack who smiled at him.

"Who'd have thought it, hm?" asked Jack. Ianto knew what he meant and nodded.

"I know." They grinned at each other and then Jack wandered into the sitting room, relaxing back into the couch. Ianto joined him for a while, but then decided to clean up so he wouldn't have to worry about the mess in the morning.

As Ianto was cleaning up the dinner plates his phone began to ring. He glanced at the clock and then at the phone, which said 'unknown' caller. Frowning he pressed the answer button and put it to his ear.

"Hello?"

There was silence at the other end. Ianto's frown deepened.

"Hello?"

There was a soft noise, like someone taking a deep breath to speak, but then there was no sound after, just that faint static of connection. However Ianto smiled, his eyes on the floor as he murmured into the phone,

"Happy Christmas 'kaela."

Michaela's gasp was cut off as she slammed the phone down. Ianto's smile remained in place as he hit disconnect. She had called him. And he had had an amazing Christmas with his brother and lover and friends.

It was more than he could have hoped for.

* * *

With many thanks again for your continued support, consideration and comments.

Night's Darkness


	69. Chapter 65

For the first time in ages I have nothing to really say except enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 65**

_(1__st__ January 2009) _

"First day of the New Year and sixteen weevils come crawling out of the sewers. Please tell me this is not an omen of things to come this year."

"It's all the fireworks Owen. They got spooked, you know that. It happens on Guy Fawkes Night too."

"Yeah, yeah, doesn't make me any happier."

"Well maybe this might." said Tosh, putting an arm around Owen's neck and kissing him. Owen blinked as she pulled away and Ianto wolf-whistled.

"Get a room!"

"Oh buggar off Ianto!"

Ianto grinned lecherously and Owen groaned, "Don't say a word! Just don't! I got through Christmas Day without vomiting, but that took effort. I shall impart no such effort today."

"How bad were they?" asked Gwen, as she came to join them after changing her shoes, which had gotten covered with sewage.

"Sickening!" "Sweet!"

Owen and Tosh narrowed their eyes at each other as they spoke in unison. Ianto smirked and turned on his heel to go make coffee, answering his phone as it rang. Gwen smiled,

"I'm glad, those two are good for each other."

Owen shrugged, the closest he would ever come in public to admitting he agreed with the statement. Tosh shook her head at him and went to her desk as Jack said something loudly down the phone –he was dealing with UNIT. Normally this would be left to Archie, but the Scotsman was at Providence Park, at Dr. Hamilton's request. She wanted to have a session with Archie and Michaela together. Archie had gone a funny shade of grey when she had called him. Apparently he was dreading it, so he had brought Dubhtach with him, hoping that would make things easier.

"No! We had nothing to do with it for the last and final time!"

"Is UNIT still on about that bomb?" asked Gwen, shaking her head.

"Sounds like it." sighed Tosh.

"We never did find out who did it." Owen pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's not like they succeeded."

"But they might try again."

"Surely they would have tried by now."

"I guess…" Owen shrugged, "Either way it probably is better if we catch them."

"Jack!"

All three of them jumped as Ianto came rushing past them, heading for Jack's office. Jack covered the phone's receiver with his hand and looked at Ianto in alarm. Ianto mimed hanging up urgently and Jack blurted into the phone,

"Rift alert! I'll call you back!" hanging up before the person on the other end could respond. "What is it Ianto?"

"Archie's on the phone. You need to hear this." said Ianto urgently, holding out his mobile. Jack took the phone from him and held it to his ear,

"Archie?... WHAT?" Jack leapt to his feet leaning on his desk as his mouth fell open. "Are you sure she isn't just… but why… ok. Ok, we're on our way. We'll be there asap."

Jack hung up, tossed the phone back to Ianto and grabbed his coat, wrestling into it so urgently he was in danger of tearing it.

"What is it Jack? What's happened?" asked Gwen, rushing over to him and the two of them getting their feet tangled as Jack tried to bypass her.

"Michaela just confessed to planting that bomb. Owen, with me."

"Jack-"

"Ianto stay here, Owen!"

"Coming!" Owen threw on his jacket and chased after Jack, hardly able to believe his ears. He clambered into the SUV passenger seat just as Jack turned on the engine and sped off. Jack was white as a sheet and clearly pissed. "Jack… you know she's not well."

"She tried to kill all of us Owen! That is inexcusable."

"But –erk!" Owen held on for dear life as Jack sped around a corner. Clearly Jack was in no mood to be forgiving or calm. They were at Providence in record time, Owen's insides feeling like jelly after the rollercoaster ride. Jack parked at the door and strode in, leaving Owen to chase after him again.

Archie was pacing the main entrance of the hospital, looking older than ever as he looked up at Jack.

"Jack-"

"Where is she?"

"With Dr. Hamilton, in Session Room 3, but Jack you can't just-"

"Oh yes I can! That bomb had enough of a bio agent in it to kill everyone in that hotel and everyone within a 20 mile radius! She could have killed thousands of people Archie, and that is inexcusable."

Archie swallowed and nodded, looking torn. The father figure and the leader of Torchwood were having a battle of wills in his head for all to see on his face.

"Just… don't break her, ok?"

"We'll see." said Jack viciously. Owen had not seen Jack this pissed since the Cyberman had been found. And he figured it was for the same reasons. Michaela, like Ianto, had put thousands in danger. But Ianto had done it for love. Michaela had done it… for what? Vengeance? Anger? What the hell had been going through her head when she planted that bomb?

The three men strode through the hospital and Jack stormed into Session Room 3 like a blizzard, cold and angry.

"Captain Harkness, what do you think you're doing?" demanded Dr. Hamilton, jumping to her feet. "You can't just-"

"This is not your concern doctor. I suggest you leave." said Jack, no he commanded her.

"I will not leave my patient alone with you!"

"Your patient tried to kill thousands of people." snapped Jack, pointing at Michaela. Owen, having been focused on Jack, now looked at her. She was sitting on an armchair in her white scrubs and a big fleece, hair pulled into a ponytail and staring up at Jack with complete calm. It was a complete juxtaposition of Jack's rage, she was like ice, unmoving. "And she will explain herself now!" finished Jack, looming over Michaela, his eyes boring into her. Owen had to admit it was rather impressive that she did not so much as flinch.

"You will not bully her!" Dr. Hamilton grabbed Jack's shoulder to pull him away, but, much to the surprise of everyone, Michaela's hand snapped up and grabbed Dr. Hamilton's wrist, stopping her. "Michaela-"

"It's fine." murmured Michaela, still meeting Jack's eyes with utter calm. "Captain Harkness doesn't like finding out he's not a big damn hero, that he's a fool who had wool pulled over his eyes. His anger is just a bruised ego."

"If you think-"

"I know." she cut across him, letting go of Dr. Hamilton. "Just like I knew UNIT. Insanity aside I am no fool Captain."

There was a heavy silence as Owen, Archie and Dr. Hamilton watched Jack and Michaela have a staring match. It was Archie who broke the silence.

"Why did ye do it Micka?"

To Owen's shock, Michaela smirked, although she did not look away from Jack.

"So we would win the trial."

"How does exposing thousands to a virus win a trial?" hissed Jack.

"By being there Captain. And by being found by a dog."

Jack's anger melted slightly in confusion, "What?"

Her smirk widened, "I planted the bomb for Dubhtach to find. UNIT were so confident of their superiority, I needed something to knock them for six. What better way than to show them that Torchwood's _dog_ is better at protecting people than their best soldiers?"

Jack reeled back, straightening up, shaking slightly as his anger metamorphosed into complete astonishment. "You never planned to set it off."

"Of course not. That would have been idiotic." Michaela spoke with a cold detachment, her smirk the only sign of emotion. "I simply wanted UNIT to see how good we were. Our dog is better than their human soldiers are. That knocked their arrogance and allowed them to see just how good Torchwood is. If I hadn't done that, they would never have listened to me and you would be rotting forever in a cell."

Owen stared at her in amazement. How had she been able to think of that when she had been incapable of telling reality from paranoia? He glanced at Archie, who was smiling with faint pride. Owen knew he should have been impressed but he was too disturbed by the thought of what might have happened if she had armed the bomb and forgotten about it. She had been playing with fire.

Dr. Hamilton swallowed, looking shaken, but then her resolve strengthened and she said, "Captain Harkness, I'm ordering you to leave right now."

Jack did not move, he seemed to be trapped in a staring match with Michaela, the two of them oblivious to the people around them. Michaela got to her feet and moved so she was toe to toe with him. Jack's breathing was the loudest thing in the room. Then Michaela made a soft noise and rose on her tip-toes to kiss him. Jack's eyes bugged out, but he did not pull away –apparently too shocked to do so.

Owen expected Dr. Hamilton to say no and pull them apart, but she stood still, watching them with narrowed eyes. The wheels were turning in her head. At last, Michaela pulled away, opened her eyes and stared up at Jack, who met her eyes. The electricity between them made the hair on the back of Owen's neck stand on end. His first and only thought was _'What about Ianto!'_

Michaela looked away first, sitting back down on the couch and curling up as if ready to go to sleep. Dubhtach lay on her stomach in front of the couch and Michaela rested her feet on the furry side, rubbing affectionately. Dubhtach preened in the attention.

"I think it's time for you to leave now." Dr. Hamilton said quietly.

"Right." murmured Jack, looking confused. But he did leave, Owen following him. Archie remained at Dr. Hamilton's gentle request.

Jack and Owen returned to the SUV and Jack sat at the wheel for a moment unmoving.

"Clever girl." he murmured eventually.

"A very ill girl." corrected Owen. Jack nodded as if he had felt the reprimand and turned the key.

Owen did not tell Ianto about the kiss Jack and Michaela had shared. He did not want to upset his brother now that he seemed to be dealing with things in a much better way.

Jack, meanwhile, could not get the kiss out of his mind. It had been a chaste, almost sweet kiss, reminding him why he had thought of her so fondly before all the trouble started. It felt like how he had seen her, that sweet, shy girl who had held him and stroked his hair like it made her the happiest woman in the world to do just that. The tenderness of the kiss had belied the way she had looked at him. Her eyes had been chaotic, angry, scared, sad, lonely, all muddled up together. But there had been no search for salvation. She had not reached out to him for help. She had kissed him… just because she wanted to.

Ianto had wanted a full description of how she was, but Jack honestly could not remember how her face had looked, if she looked thinner… nothing came to mind. Just those eyes… and the fact that she seemed to have accepted the chaos of her own mind without a fight.

* * *

I told Archie to prove I'm smarter than him.

He never would have thought of tricking UNIT like that.

Wasn't really that satisfying though.

Touch my lips.

Jack…

I dream about him.

I dream about Blaine. Usually dream about them both.

Dream about Blaine keeping me cold and hungry until I did what he wanted. Then it fades away as I remember being in Jack's arms, kissing him because I wanted to, not because I had to, or because I needed to.

I don't dream about Ianto.

Maybe because I think about him when I'm awake.

Lying in bed now, it's dark outside, but the lights around the building to keep people from leaving are so bright the sky is empty. Jack's seen the stars up close. He's been to other planets.

What I wouldn't give…

My hand smoothes over my stomach and I close my eyes. I want it to be Jack touching me.

But Jack has Ianto. Why would he want me?

Ianto wants me… but only because he can't have me.

He didn't really want me before.

It's why he left.

I stretch, arching my back, wanting Jack's hands on me, pulling me to him. I want to feel his skin, his lips, his hair, his strength, his –

Blaine.

I sit up as Blaine replaces Jack. I shake my head, I don't want to remember him! I hate him! I want him dead.

He's still there, and I remember him biting me.

My secret, Ianto never saw that.

I get out of bed and go into the bathroom, shutting the door before turning on the light. I don't want to wake Christine.

Pull off my shirt and I twist at the waist as I face the mirror, lifting my arm up and I look at my breast.

It looks normal, the plastic surgeon did a good job of hiding the teeth marks that had been left behind.

Nothing else Blaine did to me scarred the way that bite did.

Lean on the sink, brow on the cold glass of the mirror, I try to stop trembling as I feel him biting me again. It hurt so much, but it felt worse than anything else. It was like I was dead and he was a wolf, eating my carcass. Except my soul was trapped inside my body, still attached, so I felt everything.

_Don't want to remember!_

The mirror shatters when I hit it. I didn't think it was that flimsy.

Oh God I hear someone coming!

I haven't moved, my hand is still in the mirror and I'm topless.

They're gonna think I'm crazy.

Oh God… what if I am?

* * *

Comments are always really appreciated.

Night's Darkness


	70. Chapter 66

**A/N**** (feel free to ignore): **Ok, I have something to address –don't worry it's nothing bad –regarding this fic and its plotline. Someone, pretty kindly to be fair, asked why I was focusing on Michaela, Jack and Ianto more than the relationship of Ianto and Owen as brothers. And I pondered my answer, because it was a fair enough question. I cannot ignore how this fic's attention has shifted. However, I will say this, when I started this fic, I intended it to be about five, maximum ten, chapters. As we can see, that did not happen. Yes, this fic has changed, and perhaps my summary is no longer relevant to the fic –although I've no idea how I would change it. BUT –there's always a but –I have no intention of forgetting the relationship between Ianto and Owen. It is vital, but right now it is in the background. That does not mean it has been forgotten.

To this end, I will state that I stand by this chapter as I do by every chapter, but if you wish, you may skip it. It is a bit OC with OC, but I think it explains Michaela, and gives a look into Dr. Hamilton's mind.

I hope you enjoy it if you do read it.

**Warning:** This chapter contains references of peadophilia and child sex abuse.

* * *

**Chapter 66**

_(12__th__ January 2009)_

Ianto arrived at Dr. Hamilton's feeling sick with nerves. He knew what they would be discussing tonight and he really did not want to do this. But Dr. Hamilton had insisted.

"We've danced around it long enough Ianto. You need to deal with this." she had said.

He entered the now familiar room and sat down with a mumbled greeting.

"Well Ianto. You know what we're going to be talking about, don't you?"

"Yes." he muttered.

"And that is?"

"Ivor Jones."

"Specifically?"

"What I did to him… and why I did it."

"Good. So… why don't we go through the day itself."

Ianto shuffled in his seat with a grimace. "Do we have to?"

"Ianto, I think you're not acknowledging how you really feel about that day and your actions."

"Look, I feel bad about it!"

"Why?"

"Because I destroyed him! I tore everything from him and remade him into what I always wanted him to be. That was the actions of a bad person, not someone who's supposed to protect people."

"So why did you do it?"

"Because I wanted to!" spat Ianto.

"You wanted to punish him."

"Yes. He deserved to be punished."

"But you went to stop Jack."

"Because it wasn't his punishment to met out!"

"It belonged to you?"

"Yes. It was me who should have been the one to pay him back."

"For raping you?"

"For stealing my mother!" shouted Ianto, catching himself off guard. Dr. Hamilton sat back a little, clearly caught off guard herself.

"Your mother?"

"Yes –God! Why does it always come back to her?" snarled Ianto, getting to his feet.

"Why did you want to punish him for your mother? You said he wasn't abusive to her."

"He wasn't. But he… he married her… he took her away from me."

"You were jealous?"

Ianto glared at her, "I'm not some fucking Oedipus freak."

"I never said you were. Children often get jealous when their parents remarry. It's not dissimilar to how they feel when a new baby comes into the family."

That made Ianto feel a little better.

"So," Dr. Hamilton pressed, "You were jealous of Ivor because your mother loved him and married him and you felt he was taking her away from you."

"He was trying to get rid of me." muttered Ianto.

"You sound certain."

"He told me so. He wanted me shipped off to a boarding school. He wanted a family with her, without me. I think for a while he wanted to send me to dad, but realised she wouldn't allow that, and that's when he started to hit me."

"And then she was the one who left."

"She died, she didn't leave!" snapped Ianto.

"How did you feel?"

"I felt… how do you think I felt, I was miserable, she was my mam!"

"I know, but did you feel a little… abandoned?"

Ianto wanted to say no. But he nodded instead.

"Did you blame Ivor for her death?"

Again, he nodded.

"Why?"

"He got her pregnant." he growled with a shudder. "He got her pregnant and then she miscarried and because she was weak from that… she died."

"Hmm…" Dr. Hamilton leaned forward again, looking thoughtful. "Ianto… you're using a phrase that's… a bit striking."

"What'd you mean?"

"You said 'he got her pregnant'. As if your mother had no involvement in it. As if Ivor forced her into it."

"He… he… it was his spunk!"

"And her egg." she replied gently. Ianto folded his arms, hating every second of this conversation. "Ianto… you said it yourself, your mother was devastated by the miscarriages. She wanted the children too."

"She had me…" mumbled Ianto, his eyes starting to sting. "Why did she need another kid? She had me. I never left her. Owen left her! I didn't. I never would have."

"I'm sure it was never about that Ianto. A parent should love all their children equally, but that doesn't mean for every child they have their love is divided. It's created and unique as the child itself."

Ianto shook his head, "That kid would have made her forget about me. Every time she…" He snapped his mouth shut, shaking his head again.

"Go on Ianto. You can say whatever you want here."

Ianto scrunched up his face, "Every time she miscarried, she'd cling to me for a while and… and I was glad the baby had died. I got to keep my mam every time she miscarried."

He wasn't sure how, but he was now on the floor, hugging his knees. "That's not right. I should never have been happy about a dead baby. I shouldn't have."

I don't think you were. I think you were just relieved, because it kept the bond you had with your mother as it was."

"I didn't want to lose her. Without her… I had no one."

"So when she died…"

"I blamed Ivor because… because then I could justify what I wanted to do to him. I mean… I hated him for what he did to me… but I hated him more because I knew it was his fault I didn't have my mam anymore."

"You idolise women a little, don't you?"

Ianto felt too drained to deny it. "None of them have ever… well for the most part none of them made me feel like how Owen and Ivor made me feel. I… I guess it might have been when I saw Blaine… what he was doing to her… I realised how much men ruin things."

He shook his head. "How can I be a man and hate men? How can I be with a man, and hate them?"

"Hate is a very powerful word Ianto. Maybe mistrust would be a better one. Besides… didn't you say weeks ago that you don't think of Jack in terms of his gender?"

Ianto nodded.

"Ianto… nothing is black and white, not even our own feelings and thoughts. You love Jack and you love Owen, and that has overcome your distrust of their gender. You learned how to be gentle, how to be kind, because you met Michaela and wanted to undo the damage Blaine had done. Archie was kind to you, letting you see that older men, father figures could be good."

Ianto wiped at his face, "Archie was good to me… even if he lied to me about why he gave me the job in London."

"Do you think he meant well when he did that?"

"Yeah… yeah he did."

"Do you think you can forgive him for what he did?"

"… Yeah. He meant well… and last time I meant well I got two innocent people killed."

Dr. Hamilton smiled. After a few moments, Ianto managed to return it.

* * *

_(13__th__ January 2009)_

Jack let Ianto have the next day off, because he looked so worn down. Ianto had been too drained to fight him. He lay on the couch and nodded off watching TV.

He dreamt of Jack's hands on his chest, of Michaela's fingers in his hair, of Lisa's lips on his cheek. He dreamt of red hair on his chest hiding her face, of dark legs entwined with his white ones, of a blinding grin before a gentle bite. He dreamt of kissing her lips as she tried so hard to not be afraid, of how Lisa had looked when she had been on top, of the soft gasp Jack made as he was breached.

He woke up feeling more excited than he could remember feeling. A quick squirm of his hips told him he had not risen to the occasion, but he felt like he almost could for the first time in weeks.

He grinned to himself. Well that was something.

Then his phone rang.

Dr. Hamilton wanted him to have a session with Michaela.

His smile vanished in an instant.

* * *

Dr. Hamilton observed Michaela as she coloured in the geometrical patterns with markers. She was out of session, and, like most patients in mental hospitals, trying to fill the hours between meals, group and one on one sessions, and bed time. In here, you felt there really was too much time.

Michaela sat alone, filling in the small shapes with different colours, her brow furrowed in concentration. She had been withdrawn and silent since she had been found in her bathroom, fist in the mirror and naked from the waist up. Dr. Hamilton had been afraid she had returned to her catatonia, but she had realised that the girl was just mortified about what had happened, and as her wont seemed to be, she internalised everything.

Spending time with her current patient had allowed Dr. Hamilton to see that she was dealing with a very angry young woman, but she was so afraid to even touch on her own opinions, her own feelings, because she was afraid she would fall into a pit where she would not be able to escape from. She did not trust her own feelings and that fear had become more prominent as reality began to seep into her mind, pushing away the psychosis with the drugs they had pumped her full of.

Michaela blinked and looked up at the wall. A clock had just struck 11am. Dr. Hamilton slipped away to be there when Michaela arrived at her room.

As she waited the two or three minutes Michaela always took to come, she reviewed her notes, even though she knew them backwards.

At first Michaela had barely been aware of her being there. She had curled up into a ball and stared at the wall. When she had finally started talking, she had refused to have anything to do with Dr. Hamilton, convinced she would tell the UNIT generals. She still believed that, but the weight of pressure on her to speak had broken her will and now she did not care who knew what. In Michaela's mind, her life outside these walls was over, not because of some sick plan on Jack, Ianto and Blaine's part, but because she thought no one would ever trust her to do her job again, and to her, that was all she had had.

It hurt Dr. Hamilton to deal with Ianto and Michaela. She was used to dealing with soldiers who were struggling to come to terms with their actions in a battle, the worst case usually being about killing a child who got caught in the cross fire. This was another level entirely. The levels of pain the two youths had inside was appalling. But Ianto had benefitted from the love Lisa had given him, from Jack's support and even his tense friendship with Owen before all of this had begun. He had found a part of himself strengthened through the love and devotion of the team, even through his mother, despite his abandonment issues.

But Michaela was different. She had no memories of a loving mother to fall back on, she had Blaine Taylor constantly in the back of her mind –and they had yet to scratch the surface of him Dr. Hamilton was sure. She had some memories of Ianto, but their relationship was so horribly convoluted between dependence, fear, hatred (oh yes there was lots of that), reverence, love and desire. Ianto thought Michaela could see through Captain Harkness, see him clearly. Dr. Hamilton disagreed. Michaela adored Jack like any needy child would adore someone who was kind to them, a bit like Stockholm Syndrome. But she had lost the sheen of that adoration, possibly from something Captain Harkness had done, possibly from just being isolated for so long, possibly from Ianto being with Captain Harkness. It was something that would need to be discussed.

The talks with Archie had been… enlightening. It had proved Michaela had been capable of rational –if dangerous- thoughts during the trials, and that she was still strong enough to stand up to Captain Harkness. Also Dr. Hamilton had learnt that Archie had taken on the father figure role for Michaela, and even though he did love her, he was a bit too uncomfortable with personal relationships to be the stability Michaela had needed.

Michaela arrived and sat down in front of Dr. Hamilton, taking on that same pose she always took. Hunched shoulders, hands clutching each other, she was ready to run the moment she was allowed.

"How are you feeling Michaela?"

She shrugged, fingers pulling at the bandage around her hand from where she had punched the mirror.

"Michaela you need to use words here."

"I'm fine." she muttered.

"How have your nightmares been?"

"Better. Not as bad… sometimes nice." She blushed when she said that. Dr. Hamilton wondered if her dreams were erotic in nature and debated with herself if such a thing showed progress or repression.

"Nice in what way?"

She shrugged, "Just… nice."

"Are they romantic and erotic."

Michaela flushed even deeper, but muttered "Yes."

"Is there anyone in particular who features in them?"

She shook her head, "No, doesn't have a face. Not that kind of stuff."

Dr. Hamilton decided to shift and try to get her to open up about something new. She was frustratingly tight-lipped about Blaine Taylor, and she had nothing good to say about her mother.

"Michaela, what would you want in a relationship?"

"Huh?" she blinked slowly at the doctor, looking confused.

"Well, if you met someone who you felt attracted to, what would you want. Forget if you think it's possible or not, what would you like?"

"I… I don't know…" she murmured, looking alarmed by the question. She had not looked that anxious when Blaine was brought up. "I… I would like… I don't know."

"Would you like to get married?"

She snorted, "Who would marry me?"

"That's not what I asked."

Michaela bit her lip. "I… I don't know. I mean… who gets married anymore?"

"So, you don't believe in marriage?"

"Marriage is just a way of the Church maintaining control on you." she growled, her arms shifting to hug herself.

"Well… would you like to have a partner then? A companion who was committed to you, in whatever way you chose to view it, secular, or otherwise?"

Michaela shook her head.

"Why not?"

"Because they'd leave."

"Leave?"

"Everyone leaves. Why should I be with someone who'll leave me?"

"You and Ianto broke up, but that doesn't mean-"

"My dad dumped my mum when she got pregnant with me. He wanted nothing to do with me. And Cillian… he left me."

Dr. Hamilton had never heard the name before. "Who is Cillian?"

Michaela drew in a deep breath and said, "Cillian was my best friend when I was a kid. We played together because I didn't like playing with other girls. And then one day… he was found dead. He'd killed himself, when we were 11."

Dr. Hamilton closed her eyes for a moment. But Michaela continued as if she did not care if Dr. Hamilton was listening.

"He did it because of that fucking priest in our parish. I caught them once. Caught him making Cillian suck him off… when he was 10. Cillian ran off when I saw them."

Dr. Hamilton's stomach turned. She had a horrible feeling this was the tip of an iceberg.

"I told the priest he was a bad man for doing it." said Michaela with a shaky, sobbing laugh. "I said he was not meant to do stuff like that. He told me never to tell anyone. I reminded him no one would believe me, I was the daughter of a drunken whore, and Cillian would be too scared to do anything. The bastard looked… frightened by me."

"Frightened?"

"I scared adults as a kid. I heard one mum saying I had dead eyes." Michaela wiped at her cheeks, which were wet with tears that were falling freely. "I think that's what saved me once… from Peader."

"Who is Peader?"

"Peader was my mum's boyfriend when I was four. He and I had a… 'bedtime ritual'."

The sick insinuation behind the words made Dr. Hamilton's stomach turn again. Then Michaela smiled, a bittersweet smile that caught the doctor off guard. She pushed her hair out of her face, and licked her lips,

"I thought he was going to be my daddy. He never acted like I was intruding on him and mum like the others… he played with me, he hugged and kissed me. I thought he loved me. Even when he put me to bed… it wasn't bad at all. I liked it. He rubbed my belly until I drifted off. He called me his puppy. I probably would never have realised his real… meaning if he hadn't… if he hadn't taken me from the park after he and mum broke up."

Dr. Hamilton nearly lost her grip on her notepad. Michaela continued to talk, something had shifted in her, because she seemed incapable of stopping, "He took me to his apartment. He undressed me and then… he didn't do anything else. He just stared at me for a while. And I stared back, I knew something was off… I think, the memory isn't as clear as others. And then he dressed me again and brought me back to the park, telling me never to tell anyone. He then said that… that he was sorry, and that he loved me. I never saw him again."

"He said he loved you?" clarified Dr. Hamilton, feeling sick to her stomach. She had heard about how some paedophiles were convinced that they loved the objects of their desire. But that was not what bothered her so much, what bothered her was the smile on Michaela's face as she nodded,

"He did love me. He really did. I never doubted it."

"Even after he almost raped you as a child?"

"He didn't though. He loved me, so he didn't hurt me."

Dr. Hamilton shook her head, "That is not how it works Michaela."

"No one else said they loved me! No one!" she retorted, "I tried to get them to love me and they never did."

Dr. Hamilton raised her hand and said, "Lets slow down. We started talking about Cillian, and then we moved to Peader. Lets go back to Cillian for a moment."

"Why? He was just another faceless child caught up in the Catholic Church's sick games. What more do you need to know?"

"You said you caught him being abused by a priest."

"Yeah."

"And he ran away, but you stayed."

"Yeah, like I said."

"Why did you stay?"

Michaela cocked her head to the side, looking thoughtful, "I guess I wanted to tell the priest off. He was hurting Cillian, and I did not like that."

"So you, at the age of ten, stood in front of a priest and told him off?"

"Yeah." Michaela nodded, genuinely not seeming to realise how strange this was. "I told him if he was supposed to be God's best friend, he should not be such a bad man. Bad men are the ones God fries with lightening."

"What did the priest do?"

"Nothing really, he just sorta stood there, looking like he didn't know what to do. I found that kinda weird. Priests usually know what to do."

"And what happened when you said your piece?"

"I told him not to touch Cillian again, that if he did I would tell on him. Then I went looking for Cillian."

"And you found him?"

"Yeah, and I told him he should tell the police."

"Did he?"

"No. He told his parents. They didn't believe him –or they just pretended they didn't –I dunno, they were really religious and I think they were happier imagining it was a lie. Like most people who didn't report that stuff I guess."

"And when did Cillian die?"

"A few months after that. I didn't see a lot of him after he told his parents. I think they blamed me." She shuddered, "The priest who made him kill himself was the one who officiated at his funeral."

"How did you react to that?"

"I told his parents before the funeral started. And I told my teacher. And I told a few other people, including my mum. One of the parents was a Garda –a policeman –and he said it was very dangerous for me to be lying about such things without proof. And then I told him I could prove it. I knew what I had to say was rude, so I whispered it in his ear."

"What did you say?"

"I told him that I knew the priest had a mole on his thigh, a big black thing like a dog's nose, right next to his crotch."

"So you gave the policeman evidence?"

"Yes."

"And what happened then?"

"Police stuff. I don't know what happened, because the priest just vanished. The Vatican probably swept him up and hid him somewhere, that's what they always do."

Dr. Hamilton swallowed and asked a question she needed to ask, "Michaela… why the sudden openness? Until now it's been a struggle to get you to say two words."

Michaela licked her chapped lips again and said slowly, "I never told anyone any of this, because I did not want people to feel bad or to judge me… I never told anyone about Peader or Cillian… and then Blaine happened. And I realised that if I told the police half the stuff he did to me, if I talked about the boys I knew in secondary school, and about Peader and Cillian and my mum… no one would believe me." She cracked a cynical grin, "Don't you get it? That's too much shit to have really happened to one person. People would have thought I was making it up, or that I was crazy." She gestured out around the room, giving a hysterical little giggle, "Well here I am, locked in a loony bin, my whole life spread out for the world to see, for you and UNIT and Torchwood to tear apart and come up with thousands of reasons never to let me out of here, so there's no point in lying or hiding any of it. There's no point in not talking about all of it… because whether I do or not, I'm stuck here. Don't you get it Doctor? I give up. I can't fight anymore. I surrender. I'll tell you everything you want, because it matters as much as if I was dead and you were reading it from a diary. You can't undo it, I certainly can't and it's all utterly pointless anyway. It's inconsequential, and the sooner I tell you everything, the sooner you can leave, and I can just curl up and die."

Dr. Hamilton stared at Michaela, unable to fathom what she had just been told in a near chipper voice. She swallowed and managed, just about, to keep her voice steady,

"I think… I think we've done very well for today Michaela. I think you can go for today. Unless you want to stay longer."

"I honestly don't care. Do what you like Doctor. Lord knows I'm not going anywhere until you're done."

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

Michaela nodded and rose to her feet, walking out of the room and shutting the door. Dr. Hamilton waited a few minutes to make sure she was gone, and then she began to cry from utter frustration and horror. This was not what she had signed up for. She had chosen to care for soldiers because she had known she would be able to sooth battle weary and guilt ridden men, but this… this was something else. The awful life Michaela had experienced –and apparently they were not done yet- just made her feel sick to her stomach at the foulness of humanity.

After she had cried herself out, she reached out and picked up her phone. She dialled and held the phone to her ear. As it was answered, an unbidden smile spread across her tear streaked face.

"Hey honey, how're you?... Good. And the kids?... Yeah, yeah I miss you too… Listen, I was thinking, the kids still have a couple of days off, so what do you think of coming down to Cardiff for a few days. I just… I could really do with having you guys around right now?" Her smile widened as she received her answer, "Great, ok, I'll see you in a few hours. I love you! Bye."

She hung up and wiped at her face again, drew in a deep breath. Her resolve solidified in her belly. She had had to give up on patients before, usually they just could not accept things as they were, they could not live with the guilt, or they were just too traumatised. But this was not like that.

Michaela had suffered a psychotic break. She was coming back together, but her faith in humanity –what little she had ever had –had been shattered. So Dr. Hamilton had to make her see people did love her, did care about her… and would go out of their way never to hurt her.

So she decided to start with Ianto.

He was so determined to prove himself to Michaela, maybe it was time he had the opportunity.

* * *

I hope, if you stuck with it, you enjoyed it. I really appreciate it.

Night's Darkness


	71. Chapter 67

I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't find it as emotionally draining as I did. *curls up on the couch and puts on the Simpsons*

* * *

**Chapter 67**

_(18__th__ January 2009)_

Ianto fidgeted with his fingers as he sat in a room in Providence Park, with Dr. Hamilton smiling reassuringly at him. He really did not want to do this. But he figured he owed it to himself and Michaela to try.

"Try not to worry Ianto. Remember, you can say what you need to, and as long as you focus on helping yourself and then Michaela, you will be doing just fine."

Ianto nodded, swallowing. His stomach gave a lurch as the door opened and Michaela came in. Despite his nerves, he felt a small smile on his lips at the sight of her.

"Ah, Michaela, come and sit down." said Dr. Hamilton with a smile. Michaela sat down on the other side of the couch, next to Ianto. She stared at the floor and clenched her fists.

"Hi Michaela." Ianto murmured, his mouth going dry. At first she did not respond at all. Then she lifted her head and looked at him.

"Hello."

There was no smile on her face, but she did not seem to be full of hatred anymore.

"So… You've both been making some very strong progress, and we're here to hopefully continue that progress." said Dr. Hamilton. "Now, a few ground rules. There is to be no violent or negative contact. If you want you can hug each other, hold hands, anything like that is fine, but no hitting, punching or anything at all like that."

Ianto nodded. Michaela shrugged.

"Ok. The next rule is that what you say to each other is strictly confidential. You cannot go spreading each other's words."

Michaela rolled her eyes. Ianto nodded again.

"Now, in terms of this discussion, I won't censor your words, you can say what you like to each other, but try to be respectful, and remember to say what you feel, and that what you feel happened in the past may not be what the other felt happened. Ok? Shall we get started?"

"Ok." said Ianto, nodding and trying to steel himself.

"Fine." sighed Michaela, shrugging. Ianto felt irritated.

"Bored already are you?" he demanded, wincing at his own tone as he heard it. Michaela shrugged again, looking at him with a bland expression on her face,

"I just don't see the point of this."

"Oh you don't do you?"

"No. I mean… I'm stuck here and you have your own life, which I'm not a part of. What does it matter if we have this discussion?"

"Because I still want us to be friends!"

"Were we ever really friends?" asked Michaela.

"Of course we were!"

"Maybe it depends on your definition of friends."

"Definition?" Ianto stared at her in confusion. "Why would you need a… we were friends!"

"Michaela, why don't you tell us how you would define friendship?" said Dr. Hamilton gently.

Michaela frowned, screwing up her face like a child who had been asked a very hard question. "It's someone who… doesn't need sex on offer to want to be with you."

Ianto looked between the two women in astonishment, "What, that's it?"

"Well how would you define it?" asked Dr. Hamilton.

"It's when you care about someone, love someone, and… well it can be different between different people. Some people can be friends with others, and maybe they only see each other once a year, but they love every moment when they are together. Others see each other all the time, but don't necessarily have as deep a connection."

"And under this wide array of versions, which did we fall under?" asked Michaela.

"We were… we were exes who were still friends."

"Surely to be exes, we had to be dating."

"We did date!" snapped Ianto, rapidly losing patience with her relentless bland tone.

"We didn't really."

"What, because we didn't go out to restaurants and bars? You were afraid of going to bars and we couldn't afford restaurants!"

"I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about how none of our… 'activities' felt like dates. They just felt like… stuff to pass time together until we went upstairs. I thought dates were meant to be like… foreplay."

"You never said."

Michaela shrugged, "Didn't seem worth mentioning."

"Why not Michaela?" asked Dr. Hamilton, using her tone that made people answer honestly whether they really wanted to or not. Michaela closed her eyes and shook her head,

"I didn't want to spoil things."

"Spoils things, how would that have spoiled things?"

"You'd have gotten annoyed, figured I was being needy."

"No I wouldn't. I'd have been relieved, I could not figure out why the atmosphere between us would always change so badly when we went to your room. I mean at first I figured it was because you were scared, and I hoped that after a while we'd be able to… not have that awful atmosphere between us."

As he spoke, Ianto watched Michaela's face. She looked strained now, and twitchy. Biting her lip, she looked at the floor. Ianto decided to keep talking.

"You never let us have foreplay, it was all clinical with you. We'd go to your room, you never let me see you completely naked, you always wore a shirt or something, and then you wouldn't look at me during it and-"

"You never looked at me." she mumbled, digging her toe into the wooden floor.

"Yes I did! You were always looking away, but every time I stopped, you told me to keep going. I didn't know what to do."

"You looked at the headboard." was the mumbled reply.

"Because I got sick of looking into your ear!" he snapped. Michaela flushed and seemed to curl into herself. Ianto closed his eyes and had to take a deep breath to stay calm.

"Michaela, do you have anything to say to Ianto?" asked Dr. Hamilton in that same inviting tone. Michaela grimaced, the voice pulling at her compulsion to obey, before muttering,

"You didn't want to see me naked."

"Believe me yes I fucking did!" snapped Ianto, surprised by his own lack of embarrassment. "I had dreams about seeing you naked, what I saw in the bath-"

"You didn't see everything."

"What?"

"I said you didn't see everything! I hid it from you, because I knew you wouldn't want to see it. But if I was naked when we had sex you'd have seen it."

"Seen what?"

"The bite!"

Ianto felt something cold settle in his stomach. He glanced at Dr. Hamilton, but her face gave nothing.

"Wh-what bite?"

Michaela's fingers were buried into the couch, shoulders hunched so she looked like she had no neck. She was starting to shake hard, tears filling her eyes,

"Blaine bit me. On my right breast. It left a mark, and I knew if you saw it, you wouldn't want to fuck me, and I didn't want to lose you."

"Lose me? Why would that make you lose me?"

"Because no man stays if you don't do things for him."

Ianto scowled, "Do things? What, you, you think I'm so shallow that if we hadn't had sex I'd have left you?"

Michaela gave a strange head jiggle, a half nod, half shake, frowning like a child again.

"You… no… but you would if I hadn't… but you're not like that… I –I don't know."

Ianto glanced at Dr. Hamilton, who gave an encouraging nod with her head. He swallowed hard, mouth going dry,

"Michaela… I would not have left you if you had decided you didn't want to sleep with me. I mean… if you only did it because you didn't want me to go… that makes me feel sick to my stomach."

"Everyone leaves me! You left me eventually. I just wanted you to stay as long as I could make you." she whispered, pulling at the neck of her shirt.

"I left you?" sputtered Ianto, anger flooding his stomach. "I… _**You dumped me**_!" he snapped. Michaela jumped, flinching away from him. Ianto ignored it, "You dumped me the second you got the chance!"

"No! I… I didn't." she stuttered, looking at Dr. Hamilton for help. She said nothing. "I didn't!" repeated Michaela, shaking her head.

"You sent me packing as soon as Archie offered me the job in London."

"I let you go because you wanted to go!"

"What?" Ianto wasn't sure when he had shifted on the couch, but he was now kneeling on it, leaning forward as he tried to stare into Michaela's mind. Michaela was hunched, turned away from him. She looked small, and Ianto refused to feel like a bully, so he softened his voice. "What are you talking about?"

Michaela inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, "When Archie offered you the job… I saw the look in your eyes. I saw how excited you were… and I knew you wanted to go. I knew you wanted to leave… and so I decided that I would be the one who made the choice. I couldn't watch you leave me too. You were already getting bored of me, and then you had a way out and I… I had to do something!"

"Bored of you? What the hell did I do to make you think that?"

"You stopped having sex with me."

Ianto stared at her, unable to believe the certainty in her voice. "So… by your logic, a lull in the sex we were both miserable with, meant I was bored with you?"

Michaela flushed, drawing up her knees and hugging them to her chest. "What else would it have meant? I've seen it before."

"Before?" Ianto frowned and looked at Dr. Hamilton who had a very faint look on her face that told Ianto what Michaela had let slip was important. "What do you mean before? You said Blaine was the only guy before me who-"

"He was!"

"Then what did you mean?" pressed Ianto, reaching out and touching her shoulder. Michaela flinched and leapt out of the couch, moving to the window. She folded her arms, hunching up to protect herself. Ianto watched her for a moment, then climbed to his feet and stepped closer to her, but kept what he hoped was a respectful distance. He did not want to upset her, he just wanted answers. Actually, what he really wanted was to hold her in his arms and feel her hold him back. But for now he would settle for answers. "Michaela, please, tell me what you meant."

Michaela shook her head. "No! I won't!"

Ianto felt his mouth going dry as he decided to push her. "You said he was the first guy who'd… gone that far with you. But… were there guys before that you did… other stuff with?"

Michaela shuddered. "Leave me alone!"

Ianto strode up until he was almost breathing down her neck, his hand touching her elbow. "Look… if there were other guys… I don't know why you didn't tell me… if you were embarrassed or something… it doesn't matter to me."

Michaela's spine stiffened, and Ianto realised he had probably said the wrong thing again. Slowly, Michaela turned around and stared up into Ianto's face. Her eyes were blazing with anger and when she spoke, her voice was tight, spiteful and low,

"Really? It doesn't matter to you? So you wouldn't mind if you knew how many guys I had sucked off? When my first handjob happened? If I told you that I don't remember the number, it's too high?"

Ianto felt embarrassed, but he shook his head, "N-no. I wouldn't care."

"Liar!" she spat. "You'd hate me! Just like everyone else would. Everyone hates whores, they're not human. They're not worth anything. They deserve whatever happens to them, they were asking for it!"

"If you think I would say you deserved what Blaine did to you just because you had a bunch of guys before him then you really don't know me!" snapped Ianto, feeling infuriated. But under his anger, he felt sad. Sad that Michaela hated herself so much, when he knew how wonderful she could be. He wanted to tell her that, but knew she would never believe him, not now. So he reached out and clasped her face in his hands. Michaela tried to pull away, but he held on, not hurting her, but no letting her draw away from him. "Michaela, you could have slept with every guy in Ireland and Scotland and I still would never think you deserved what Blaine did to you. And do you know why?"

Michaela didn't answer, but she had frozen in his hands, staring up at him with huge eyes. Ianto stroked her cheeks with his thumbs as he said gently,

"Because I know you well enough, I really do, to know you did it to find someone, anyone, who would love you. But beyond that, no matter who or what you think of yourself, you never, ever deserved what he did to you. No one deserves what he did. No one."

Michaela let out a broken noise, "I went with him! He never drugged me, I went with him to his house… and I-"

"Doesn't matter to me. If you went with him, it still does not mean you deserved what he did."

"But I-"

"You did not deserve it Michaela!" said Ianto firmly, "Never. You never deserved it."

Michaela sagged in his grip, his hands on her face seemed to be the only thing holding her up, her mask cracking in front of Ianto's eyes. "Then why did it happen?"

Ianto swallowed, feeling his heart break at the desperation in her voice. "I don't know." he admitted, shaking his head.

Michaela sniffed loudly, "I thought he really liked me… he looked at me like I was special… and I was. But only because I was so stupid and went with him and-"

"Stop. Please. It wasn't your fault. You always said what happened with Ivor wasn't my fault, but I kept going back to that house every day. I knew I was in danger and I still went back. You had no idea what he was capable of."

Michaela dropped her eyes, shaking her head in his hands. Ianto could almost feel the battle going on in her head. Dr. Hamilton spoke, making them both jump. Ianto had forgotten they weren't alone.

"Guilt is often a source of reassurance. Even if something is not your fault, blaming yourself allows it to make sense. Sometimes guilt is the only way to make a terrible experience make sense."

They both looked at her, Ianto's hands slipping from Michaela's face to her shoulders. She smiled at them, looking very pleased with them.

"Perhaps it's time for you to let go of your guilt? It's been weighing you both down so heavily… give yourselves a break."

Ianto inhaled sharply, and looked down at Michaela, who looked lost and as bone-weary as he felt.

"I'm so tired." he murmured to her. She looked up, "I'm so tired of fighting with you… I just want to find a way for us to be friends."

"I was so angry with you." she sighed, "I wanted you to fight me when I said we should break up. I wanted you to say you wanted to be with me… but you didn't."

"I didn't think we'd ever break up… and then you said we were over. I was too shocked to fight with you. I had thought we could do the long-distance… and then maybe you'd move with me to London… or something. I was so sure when Archie told me we'd be able to make it work."

"You looked so excited… and I was scared. I knew you were leaving… and I guess I wanted to see if I was more important to you than a job. And I thought you'd picked the job."

"I never would have if you had told me what you wanted. Why couldn't you have just told me?"

"I didn't know how… all the guys when I was a teenager just wanted me to do what they wanted and when I asked them to be with me… they always left. It felt like no matter what I did I was going to lose you."

Ianto swallowed and slipped his arm around her back, catching her chin and making her look up at him.

"We broke up six years ago, and yet here I am. Michaela, you never lost me. We both held on, even when we were devastated by each other's actions. Don't you think whatever we have that made us hang on is worth fighting for now?"

"I thought you were tired of fighting." she murmured, but there was finally some warmth in her voice. Ianto found himself smiling.

"This is worth it." he promised.

Michaela swallowed visibly, her eyes searching his. Then, to Ianto's disappointment, she pulled away from him and turned away, ducking her head.

"I want to go to my room please." she mumbled to Dr. Hamilton. "I'm tired."

"Very well Michaela." said Dr. Hamilton gently, glancing at Ianto reassuringly. "We'll see you tomorrow."

Michaela nodded, looking over her shoulder at Ianto as she went to the door. Something in her eyes was softer than it had been when she had arrived. Ianto felt his disappointment ease. She left the room, and Ianto looked at Dr. Hamilton.

"That was much better than I could have hoped for." she said. Ianto shrugged, not sure what to feel. "Ianto, you broke through a moment in your lives that had hurt you both very badly, but turned out to be a misunderstanding and a lack of communication. That is very good. I warned you it would be slow, but you made far more progress than I dared hope."

Ianto nodded, but he felt weary and disappointed. All those months he had been angry with Michaela for dumping him, before he had met Lisa, the way he had avoided her when he had started dating Lisa, angry and hurt… all because she had not been able to ask him to stay, and he had not seen how much she wanted him to stay. It made him feel empty. What a waste.

He would not make the same mistake again.

* * *

Reviews are greatly appreciated.

Night's Darkness


	72. Chapter 68

Hey guys, this is the new chapter, I hope you enjoy it!

If you guys want to go to my LJ not-rude-ginger to check out prompts for me to write, please do.

* * *

**Chapter 68**

_(19__th__ January 2009)_

Owen drove Ianto to Providence Park the second day. The brothers were quiet as the building loomed into view.

"How was it yesterday?" asked Owen at last.

"Hard." mumbled Ianto. "We realised we only broke up because of a misunderstanding between us… and last night I had a dream."

"What about?"

"A life I'll never get now." sighed Ianto, rubbing at his own knee. Owen waited for Ianto to speak again. They were early, so there was no rush. "I dreamt that 'kaela and I had never broken up… we were married, lived in a nice house, and we had a daughter… and 'kaela was pregnant with our next baby."

"And you were happy?"

"Yeah…"

Owen bit his lip, before reaching out and squeezing Ianto's shoulder. "Look, I'm not gonna say you wouldn't be happy… but would you give up what you have with Jack… with all of us now you have it?"

_Would you give up me?_ was the silent question. Ianto swallowed as he continued to stare out at the grounds of the hospital.

"I wish I could say no… because I don't want to give you guys up. But… I know we would have had kids eventually… and I've had to give that up now."

Owen did not argue. He could understand the loss Ianto was feeling. He had felt it with Katie. If they had caught that alien parasite sooner...

Ianto looked up at him and gave a weak smile. "I guess I should look at it like I lost the chance at one family… but I guess I got another one which I really wouldn't give up for anything."

Owen nodded, "Doesn't make it any easier to give it up, is it?"

Ianto shook his head, looking so sad, Owen had to pull him into a one armed hug.

"Hey, c'mon, maybe one day we'll find a Rift Baby for you and Jack to raise and turn into the campest kid in the world."

It was weak, but Ianto chuckled.

"Yeah. Right." He straightened up and climbed out of the car. "I'll see you later then."

"Ok, right."

Ianto waved as he walked across the car park. Owen watched him go, and then sighed to himself. It struck him that he and Ianto were the end of their parents' families. And for the first time, he felt truly remorseful about that.

"Why don't we talk about the sexual element of your relationship? How long did you know each other before you started sleeping together?"

Ianto grimaced, but tried to count the time.

"Five months, 26 days." said Michaela at once. Ianto blinked and looked at her curiously. She shrugged, blushing, "I kept count."

"And… how do you think it was?"

"Awful." They both answered at once. As they shared a look, a glimmer of humour seemed to pass between them. Dr. Hamilton smiled.

"How so?"

Ianto glanced at Michaela, ready to let her explain. Michaela, now looking a little more relaxed, shrugged.

"It… it just was."

"Was there pain?"

"Huh?" they chorused.

Dr. Hamilton shrugged, "Was there pain? Real or psychosomatic. After all, Michaela, you associated sex with pain, it wouldn't be a surprise if you felt some pain, even if it was just a memory of what had happened before."

Michaela frowned and, after a moment of thought, swung her head from side to side, "Nnno. No. No pain from what I can remember…" She looked at Ianto for confirmation. He shrugged,

"If you did you didn't tell me and… I was trying to –to be careful."

"So the experience was just-?"

"Humiliating." Again they spoke at once. Dr. Hamilton smiled, looking amused and pleased. Ianto sighed and closed his eyes, finding it easy to recall that night.

_(22__nd__ April 2003)_

Ianto moaned quietly as Michaela worked her hand down between their bodies, pressing hesitantly against him. He had his arms around her, chests crushed together, and right then he never wanted to let her go. Michaela stared into his face, wide-eyed with nerves and hesitation. He kissed her, trying to draw her into him even more, and was rewarded by her hand rubbing him through his jeans. She had done this a few times now, and it was driving him crazy, feeling close and not close enough to her. He dropped a hand down to her thigh and he lifted her leg, hooking it over his hip and pulling their pelvises together. Michaela squeaked, like the air had been knocked out of her and her mouth fell open. Ianto prayed that she would not push him away from her now.

Michaela licked her lips and looked down at their bodies pressed together, her hand and their clothes the only thing between them. Ianto gave what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze to her thigh and she visibly swallowed. Lifting her chin she stared at him, and then her hand slid up, resting on his chest as their pelvises rested flush against each other. Ianto wasn't sure which of them was breathing harder in that moment. He knew the question he was asking her, and he was terrified of what she was going to say.

"… Ok." she gasped, trembling in his arms.

"Ok?" repeated Ianto in disbelief. She nodded. "As in… we can…" He glanced down at the bed they were lying on, in Michaela's grotty apartment. "A-are you sure?"

She licked her lips again, "Have you got a condom?"

Ianto nodded, reaching over her and grabbing his bag by the side of the bed. "I don't have them because I expected… I mean –I hoped but –not that you have to –but I figured that you'd want them if we –so I just…" He trailed off and hid his embarrassed face as he rummaged through the bag for the box he had bought. Locating it, he fumbled for one small foil wrapper. He held it in his hand, unsure if he should show her or not, in case it seemed demanding or pushy.

Looking back he found her undoing her trousers.

"Hey, surely I should be the one doing that!" he joked, catching her hands. She jumped and looked at him in surprise. It hurt Ianto when she looked at him like that, like his gentleness was a surprise to her. It reminded him that he had to be careful, had to be kind. "Come here." he murmured, pulling her close again and kissing her, his hands stroking the curve of her breast. He took a hold of her shirt and tugged it up, taking his time as he kissed down her neck. She sighed and buried her fingers in his hair. As she relaxed again, he pulled the t-shirt over her head and then pulled her hands to help him with his t-shirt. No sooner had it been pulled over his head, than her hands were pulling at his belt. He was a little surprised, but he said nothing choosing instead to kiss her shoulder and reach for the clasp of her bra.

"NO!" Michaela shoved his hands away in alarm.

"What? What's wrong?"

Colour had fled her face and was now rushing back. "I just… I just want it left on… ok?"

"Ok… ok." Ianto nodded, pulling back a little. "That's fine, I understand."

He did not understand, but did not dare say so. Instead he kissed her lips again and ran his hand down her back. It was smooth and unblemished and he wanted to kiss every inch of it. Michaela undid his trousers and pushed them down to his knees, reaching for his boxers as he kicked the trousers away. Her hands were shaking now and Ianto knew she was trying to rush through it. But he wanted to enjoy this properly. So he stopped her hands again and lifted them to his lips, kissing each finger. She sighed and lay her head back on the pillow, watching him. He pulled her up and kissed her again. He reached down and finished undoing her trousers, pulling them slowly down to her knees. Michaela kicked them off and Ianto rested his hands on her hips.

"You ok?" he asked quietly.

She nodded, closing her eyes.

"You want this, yeah? We can stop…"

"It's fine. Come on." She pulled at his boxers and dragged them down, exposing him to her. Ianto flushed a little, suddenly caring what she thought of him naked. He had never cared before, but he wanted her to be happy with what she saw. Her eyes darted down, and then she looked up again, expression hardening. "Condom?"

Ianto hurried to pull the latex on over himself, well aware of the heat of her skin on his as she wriggled out of her knickers. He had no sooner finished his task than she was pulling him to lie on top of her. She placed a hand on the back of his neck, the other resting on his ribcage, Ianto supporting his weight on his elbows, their pelvises brushing as he rested between her legs.

"Uh… you, you want-?"

"Go ahead." she said, voice trembling a little, hands cold on his skin. Her hands always went cold when she was nervous. Ianto bent his neck to kiss her, but she flinched back, repeating, "Go ahead."

Ianto felt himself stuck on a knife edge. Should he do it or should he stop? She was saying it was ok, but she did not look happy. Ianto did not want her to be unhappy. But if he pulled back, she might think he did not want her, she might get upset. And she would always be nervous the first time, surely. Maybe it was like everything else they had done, they just had to push through, break the ice so to speak.

"If you want me to stop…"

"Just do it. It's fine." she stressed, squirming under him, looking pale rather than passionate. Ianto repressed a sigh and shifted his weight to one arm so he could guide himself into her. She bit her lip as he started to enter her, panic in her eyes. Ianto stopped.

"'Kaela…"

"I'm fine! Just… just hurry up." she pleaded, squeezing the back of his neck and pressing at his ribs. Ianto dropped his head, body shaking with exertion of staying still, straining to do this right. He pushed on, and then something gave and he was all the way in. He groaned at the sensation, closing his eyes in delight. A grin spread across his face and he looked up at her, hoping to share the victory with her. He was disappointed to see that she was squinting at the ceiling, biting her lip hard. He stilled, refusing to move, not until she told him to.

"Go on." she whispered, little more than a frightened gasp.

"'kaela, you're not…"

"It's ok, really, it's fine. You just… you just keep going." she told him, eyes flicking to his face, her hands pulling at his shoulders. A quick nod and she was looking away again. Ianto closed his eyes, embarrassment flooding his body as he twitched his hips and she whimpered. But her hands pulled at him again, gently encouraging. Ianto shuddered and buried his face in her neck, feeling humiliated and awkward as he thrust. His climax was weak and he was almost ignorant of it as he thought with relief 'at last!'.

Then, to his astonishment, she kissed the top of his head and squeezed him with her arms.

"It's ok." she whispered into his hair. Then she began to cry, burying her face in his curls.

Ianto buried his head in his hands. "I felt like a lowlife then. Like I was no better than Blaine."

"You're nothing like him." Michaela's voice was quiet, but left no room for argument. He looked up at her. She was crying again. "I felt safe with you. Even when we were… I've never felt safe in my life. That was enough for me. I was crying because I felt I didn't deserve to feel safe."

Ianto's head snapped up and he stared at her. "So… you were happy?"

"I wasn't… I don't know how to explain how I felt. It was a mixture of gratitude and shame. I didn't mean to make you feel like… I'm so sorry."

Ianto realised with a jolt that it was the first time she had uttered an apology to him. His heart felt like it was breaking through iron bands around it and swelling. He wanted to reach out and grab her, crush her to him and never let her go. But he held back, watching as she reached out a timid hand and brushed his fingers, needy and hesitant. He stretched out his fingers and she curled hers around his, squeezing. He held on, watching the play of emotions in her eyes. Her chin trembled and she reached out with her other hand, whispering,

"You were so nice to me… I'm sorry I forgot that. Please don't leave me again."

Ianto caught her other hand and pulled her to him, where she buried her face in his chest, clinging like a limpet to his middle.

"I won't leave you. Not even if you try to make me go. I love you."

Michaela let out a sob and wept into his chest, and Ianto was unable to sooth her for half and hour, during which time Dr. Hamilton just sat there, watching them. But Ianto did not care, he had Michaela in his arms and she did not seem to want to let go. It was what he had wanted for weeks.

Finally, Michaela shifted and lifted her head, wiping at her face, but still holding Ianto's hand with her other one. She looked… she looked purged to Ianto, his mind unable to think of a better word for the look on her face. He imagined it was how people looked after an exorcism. But he had a question to ask her, one he needed an answer to. But he was worried he would not like the answer.

"'kaela… do you love me?"

Her face crumpled again, "I don't know."

His heart sank. "Oh."

* * *

If you guys want to go to my LJ not-rude-ginger to check out prompts for me to write, please do.

Night's Darkness


	73. Chapter 69

This is a short, short chapter, but I think it says all it needs to.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 69**

_(20__th__ January 2009)_

Jack was woken that morning by Ianto tossing and turning. He glanced at the clock, seeing it was 5am, and rolled over to either sooth Ianto's dreams, or wake him up. He was not surprised this was happening. Ianto had been in a very low mood all day yesterday, finally telling Jack that while Michaela had begged him not to leave her, she could not tell him she loved him, because she had no idea what love felt like, not anymore. It had depressed Jack to hear such words, but it did explain a few things. Ianto had taken his pills and gone to sleep early, and had actually slept well until now.

Jack reached out to rub Ianto's stomach –an adorable fact about Ianto was rubbing his belly made him sleepy and content- but as he reached the stomach he noticed there was something else. His eyes widened as he realised that there was an unmistakable bulge in Ianto's boxers. He glanced up at Ianto's face, barely visible in the light and realised he was not having a nightmare for once. Quite the opposite actually.

Jack was torn. He wanted to wake Ianto up and show him, but at the same time he wanted to leave him alone and see what happened. So he settled for leaning up and kissing Ianto's neck. It seemed like a good compromise, especially since Ianto moaned quietly and leaned into the touch. Jack grinned. He had missed the responsive young man he had shared his bed with.

He worked his way down Ianto's neck, then back up to his ear, which he gently bit. Ianto was making some wonderful noises now, squirming on the bed. He had no control over his actions at all.

This thought made Jack pause. He realised while this might be ok in the future, maybe right now was not the best time to be taking advantage of Ianto's sex dreams.

His musings were interrupted when Ianto's hand cupped his chin and dragged him into a kiss. When they pulled away Ianto murmured,

"Don't stop." and opened his eyes very slightly.

"Hey there."

"Hey. Now keep going." whispered Ianto. Jack was sure he was afraid this would all go away if he woke up properly. So he set about making the dream a reality with gusto.

* * *

Owen was giving his brother a disgusted look.

"What?" asked Ianto, baffled.

"You got laid last night." said Owen.

"Technically it was this morning and why is it a problem for you?"

"Because you're smiling about it and I do not need to know that you've been shagging. Believe me, it was gross before we acknowledged our brotherhood, now it's intolerable."

"And yet you'll come in here, fist raised in triumph at having scored with Tosh."

"What?" demanded Tosh, overhearing the conversation.

"I gotta go." said Ianto, leaping out of his chair and hurrying away as Owen tried to think of an escape route from the advancing Tosh.

* * *

Gwen called Rhys later in the afternoon to tell him she would be home on time.

"That's great love, can you start dinner, I'm actually going to be late tonight." said Rhys.

"Oh? What are you up to?"

"I just want to drop off a package into Providence Park."

"Oh… what package?"

"Just a present for you know who." The words were said with a wryness that was lost on Gwen. Still, the affection in his voice made her smile and she said,

"I think you'll find more than dinner waiting for you when you get home."

* * *

"C'mon Tosh, Ianto was only kidding!"

* * *

Archie hung up the phone with a weary sigh and wrote down a few notes. Almost fifty years of life he had given to Torchwood and now he was a desk-jockey, or possibly a secretary. Either way it was damn depressing.

* * *

Dubhtach watched as Happiness-Male gave an offering to Mating-Male. Mating-Male bared his teeth at Happiness-Male, who gave off a scent of satisfaction. Dubhtach watched carefully, as she had been doing since her She-Alpha had left the pack. She was relatively certain that Mating-Male, who was the biggest of the males, was the Pack-Leader, but she was not certain. Dubhtach was not certain of anything anymore, not since She-Alpha had left her.

She-Alpha's scent has been all over Happiness-Male for two days. Dubhtach knows he knows where she is, but despite her best entreaties, he will not take her to She-Alpha.

Dubhtach did not like being in this sunless place all day, where a winged enemy hovers overhead. She would much rather be with the not-prey, which submit to her, despite insubordination from the smaller one. Dubhtach knew they were not to be eaten, they had Happiness-Male's scent on them, and She-Alpha was Happiness-Male's companion, as was Mating-Male. So long as Dubhtach was fed, she would be agreeable with the not-prey.

If she could get away from this strange pack for long enough she would be able to find She-Alpha, but Father stays her every time.

Dubhtach wished she could be back with her pack.

* * *

There's a package for me. Who is it from?

Who would send me a package?

What? There's a visitor too? What is going on?

I walk down the stairs, following the nurse who takes me to the reception. I am not prepared for what I see.

Rhys Williams stands there, which a wrapped box in his hands. He smiles at me as if he is happy to see me. Just happy… nothing expectant or leering or hopeful in his eyes. Just happy.

"Hey there Michaela."

I stand there, feeling panicked. What am I supposed to do? I don't know this man.

But I do… I know his voice. I know he was the nicest guy to me. Nicer even than Ianto maybe, because he didn't have to do anything for me.

And he's huggable. I know that. I spent time in his lap. But not like a hooker. Like a little girl. I felt safe and warm with him. Like he could be my dad or something. I haven't felt that way in a long time.

I haven't answered him. That's rude. I should answer.

"H-hello."

He smiles at me like I've made him delighted. My heart gives a weird twist.

"I've got you a present." he says, holding out the box.

It's wrapped in bright, happy paper and I don't know if I should take it or not. Will it be taken from me? What is it? Is it a nice thing? I don't know. If I don't know, how can I handle it?

"Why don't you go through to the Day Room?" the nurse suggests. Rhys nods, and looks to me. He wants my permission. I cannot remember when someone last asked me what I wanted outside the therapy sessions.

I can't think about therapy, I already sat through it today, alone, and it's too exhausting to think on it anymore. I feel embarrassed when I think of how I begged Ianto not to leave me. I should never have said that. Now he knows I need him. I don't want him to know that. I don't know why I don't want that, but its true.

I have to answer Rhys!

"O-ok."

We walk into the Day Room. It's depressing in its attempts to be cheerful.

We sit near a window and Rhys puts the box in my lap. I run my fingertips over the shiny paper and then look at him. He looks nervous. He looks eager. He's really quite sweet.

"Go on then. Open it, I want to know if you like it."

I think I should unwrap it gently, but something makes me rip the paper and that action makes me feel good. I tear the paper away, liking the soft _ssssch_ sound it makes. I rip it to pieces before looking at the box inside.

Oh…

"I dunno if you wanna, but I figured it might take your mind off all the difficult stuff you're dealing with right now." Rhys is saying as I run my hand over the box. It's the Harry Potter Collection. The children's edition with its bright colours and intriguing drawings. "I was thinking maybe I could come over a few days a week and we could start reading them again. You… you seemed to like it before."

I did. I liked listening to his voice, to the story, a story I wish could be real, that I could go away to that world and gain some power so I could fight back… so I could be special. But more than that, he read to me because he just cared. He cared about me… and he sat with me, as if he couldn't think of anything else he'd rather be doing.

"Hey, don't cry now." He sounds alarmed.

I touch my cheek, wiping at the tears I had not noticed. I shake my head. I'm not upset. I'm… my chest hurts, like my heart is swelling inside me, while my ribs constrict and the pressure is coming out of my eyes.

I set the books down by my chair and reach out, taking his hand. His hands are huge, but they're soft, like the rest of him. I want to hug his hands.

"Thank you." I say, voice catching. I shift forward and all I want is to climb into his lap, but that is not my place. That is Cooper's place. I don't belong there. Nor do I deserve to be there.

But Rhys surprises me by pulling me into his arms and holding me. He's not bony like Ianto, or hard muscle like Jack. He smells of food and wood, and he's comfy. I could fall asleep cuddled up against him.

I wish I could have someone like this for me.

But that will never happen.

* * *

Comments and thoughts are always welcome. Also, don't forget to check out my 500 prompts on my LJ.

Night's Darkness


	74. Chapter 70

Ok, at this stage, if I don't reach 100 chapters, I will be utterly astonished… lol.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 70**

_(20__th__ February 2009)_

Ianto was in a cleaning frenzy, running around his house putting things in their rightful places, moving them and then returning them. All the while Owen watched him from the kitchen table, where he had been banished. Apparently he was not to be trusted with aiding in cleaning. Not that he really wanted to aid his brother in his OCD-induced war on bacteria.

"Will you relax? She is not going to care that the house has been sterilised, and she was not off getting chemotherapy so it doesn't matter. This is just overkill."

"I know… I know." moaned Ianto, looking at him helplessly. "But I can't sit still. 'kaela is coming home today and I want her to feel like she matters, like we made an effort. I still can't believe you wouldn't let me go with them to pick her up." He threw Owen an evil look.

"Archie and Jack are a better choice."

Owen was not going to tell him that Jack and Archie were there to talk to Dr. Hamilton. Dr. Hamilton was not happy that Michaela was leaving Providence Park, but the limit of time she could be subjected to emergency therapy without consent was up. Legally Michaela was able to leave, provided she was considered mentally sound enough to sign a contract. Apparently it did not take much to be considered mentally sound and Michaela had had enough of Providence Park. Since Dr. Hamilton and Ianto were still having sessions and Archie seemed in no rush to vacate his rental flat, it made practical sense for her to return to Ianto's house. Emotional sense on the other hand seemed to be fresh out of stock. Owen had no idea how Ianto and Michaela were going to be able to share a house when they were still struggling so much. But he was being ignored on this point and so settled for coaching his brother on the situation. And dealing with his nervous mood.

"They weren't the ones having the whole series of therapy sessions with her!" snapped Ianto.

"Exactly. You need to remember you can't get dependent on each other again. You guys need some kind of distance."

"This coming from a guy who is co-dependent with alcohol?"

"Hey, I'm not the one on happy pills."

"Maybe you should be. You're a miserable bastard."

"And you're a neat freak! Now sit down before I tape you to this chair and let Jack at you."

"How could you possibly think that's a punishment?"

"Because then Jack will go for your coffee machine."

"…Well played Dr. Harper."

"Thank you Mr. Jones."

Ianto sat down at the table with Owen, his foot starting to jiggle with anxious energy.

"Cut it out, you're winding me up."

"Do you think she should come back to Torchwood?" asked Ianto, his foot still jiggling.

Owen shrugged, "Torchwood wasn't what sent her into this depression. If anything it kept her out of it for a lot longer than it should have."

"I know but… I just don't want to see her break."

Again, Owen could only shrug and be honest. "If you're allowed, she's got to be allowed. It's only fair, so unless you want to resign…"

"No, no you're right. She should at least be given the option." said Ianto quickly

"Exactly. Besides, it'll be a slow transition. She needs to ease into it."

"Right, so… how do we do that?"

Owen wanted to thump his head against the desk. They had been over this twice!

"You are going to do nothing beyond being a friend. You are in the same boat as her, so don't try to row for her! You can help each other but you are not to get co-dependent. It took its toll the last time and you two need a healthy relationship since its obvious that you both want something between you."

"How will we know if we're falling back into bad habits?"

"By thinking about it. By letting the rest of us in. If we get involved it's because we're trying to help you. So don't get pissy with us if we get nosy."

"Great…" sighed Ianto, propping his head up in his hands.

"C'mon, it doesn't have to be that bad… why don't you think of something we can all do together, take the pressure off you two?"

Ianto looked thoughtful. "Well… maybe we could all go see a rugby match."

Owen scrunched his nose. "Rugby?"

Ianto shrugged, "I like it, 'kaela likes it, Gwen likes it, Jack will if he actually sits down and realises how short the shorts are-"

"Ugh!"

"-and the six nations is coming up."

"That's which one again?"

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Where Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, France and Italy compete against each other. This year the match of Ireland V Wales will be in Cardiff. Michaela will like that, I think."

"Well ask her."

"Right… Ask her… it's not good that that did not occur to me, is it?"

"Ianto, you're frazzled. Give yourself a break!"

"But I don't want to screw this up!"

"If you make a mistake it's just that. A mistake. And you acknowledge them and correct them if you can."

"Right… right. That's obvious." sighed Ianto, shaking his head.

"Ah, give yourself a break. You're second guessing yourself. You may be socially inept but you're not thick. You can trust your instincts, so long as you don't get too bogged down in the idea that we don't know what we're talking about."

"Owen you're making my head hurt." groaned Ianto, buried said head in his hands.

"Sorry." sighed Owen, "I'm just trying to… I dunno."

"No it's ok… I know." Ianto reached out and clapped Owen on the shoulder.

"God we're a right pair, aren't we?"

"I think we're just brothers." sighed Ianto, rolling his eyes. Owen nodded, opening his mouth to say more, but the front door was opening and Ianto nearly fell out of his chair at the sound.

"Easy!" said Owen, grabbing Ianto's arm. "Take a moment. You don't want to look too eager."

"Gah!" growled Ianto, visibly reigning himself in.

"Ianto! Owen!" called Jack from the door.

Owen got to his feet and went with Ianto to the hall as Dubhtach barrelled from the sitting room, barking with delight. Señor and Bart followed, their hops extra springy on the hard wood. Owen had to admit it was endearing to see the excitement of the animals. He lifted his eyes to see Michaela standing next to Archie, looking shy. Dubhtach leapt up onto her hind legs and proceeded to lick Michaela's face with delight, the force of her enthusiasm knocking Archie and Jack out of the way. Jack actually smacked into the wall with a grunt. Señor began licking at her knee, while Bart ran around in circles at her feet. Michaela's face broke out into a delighted smile and she embraced her dog like she would a human, hugging it tight before pulling back and pushing her down.

"Down girl, sit." she ordered. Dubhtach sat back at once, seeming relieved to be taking orders from her mistress again. Michaela scratched the back of Dubhtach's ears and crouched down to pet Señor. Owen was sure she was delaying the moment when she would have to look at Ianto, who could not get near her because of the animals. Bart took a running jump and landed on Michaela's lap, then clambered upwards so fast that before Michaela really knew what he was doing, the tiny rabbit had disappeared down her top.

"Oh!" yelped Michaela, thrown off balance as she jerked in surprise at the feel of the warm fur on the valley between her breasts. She landed on her bum and Dubhtach immediately went for her face again, licking her cheeks with enthusiasm. Señor tried to drape himself over her lap but Ianto swooped in and caught him, lifting him up with a grunt.

"Hold him!" Ianto said, giving the rabbit to Owen, who almost buckled under the weight of the creature.

"Jesus fuck." he grunted, staggering. "Ianto I don't care what you say, you need to put this rabbit on a diet."

Ianto spared him a glare before seizing Dubhtach's collar and saying, "Dubhtach, down. Sit girl!"

"Dubhtach, rest!" ordered Michaela when Dubhtach did not obey. Dubhtach whined, but sat back obediently and then lay on her stomach, resting her head on her paws. There was a moment of silence, during which time Bart popped his head out of the top and peered at everyone from his rather funny location. Jack and Archie were trapped against the wall and front door, while Ianto was panting from trying to drag the dog back, and Owen was about to collapse under the weight of a bunny rabbit. Michaela looked up at Ianto, who was wide-eyed and flushed. And she giggled.

Covering her mouth, Michaela giggled into her hand, even as her other one attempted to tug Bart out of her top. The bunny would not be dislodged, a fact which seemed to set Ianto off. He started to snigger, snorts and guffaws breaking out of his mouth. Owen glanced at Jack, who was still flattened against the wall, and saw he was smiling in relief. Owen shook his head with a sigh as Ianto reached out and helped Michaela to her feet, Michaela apparently not in a rush to really get rid of Bart. Owen glanced at Señor, who blinked up at him.

"Well played Mr Fluffles, very well played." he drawled as the two youngest people in the hall continued to giggle like children.

* * *

Settling in was surprisingly easy after that ridiculous welcome. Ianto put the tea on, and directed Michaela to the room she had stayed in before. Dubhtach had followed her mistress up the stairs, looking rather proud of herself. Bart had finally been removed from his improper position and he was now sitting on Ianto's foot, glaring at Owen, Jack and Archie who were seated on the couch. Señor had decided he suddenly really liked Owen, so he was draped over Owen's lap, and slowly crushing his thighs.

"Did she bring any meds with her?" asked Owen. Archie held up a white bag. "Ok, I'll go over them with her, I'd like to know what she's on so I can keep an eye out for side-effects."

"Gwen said she and Rhys would pop over later. Rhys wants to keep up the reading." said Ianto, bouncing his foot a little to amuse Bart.

"Tosh'll be along later too. Thank god the Rift has been quiet again."

"Yeah… she and Gwen are working on some sort of project." said Ianto.

"What kind?" asked Jack.

"Not sure, they wouldn't say. But Gwen's been compiling information on a lot of people." replied Ianto.

"Tosh said Gwen's concerned with something about people disappearing in Cardiff and the Rift." said Owen. He did not miss the way Jack, Archie and Ianto shared a look of alarm. "If you lot know something, you'd better tell her, otherwise she'll be like a dog with a bone."

Archie made a grunt of agreement, he was very familiar with Gwen Cooper's tenacity now. "He's got a point Jack."

"Later." grunted Jack, glancing up as Dubhtach led Michaela into the sitting room. She looked around with anxious eyes and then sat gingerly down in on the smaller couch, next to Ianto. Ianto squirmed in his seat, the two of them looking like nervous children, throwing side-long looks at each other.

"Well… I'd better go." said Jack, rising to his feet. "The Hub won't run itself."

"I think you'll find that's my job." said Ianto dryly. Michaela's lips twitched in amusement as she smiled at her lap. Jack gave him a mock-narrowed eyes look and walked over to Ianto, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Then he stepped to the side and paused at Michaela. He leaned down, pushed her hair back and pressed his lips to her brow. Michaela's eyes fluttered closed and her mouth opened a little as she sighed. Jack smiled down at her as he pulled away, thumb stroking her cheek. "Welcome back Michaela."

She stared up at him, and her lips formed a hopeful smile. Jack straightened up and Archie got to his feet.

"I think I might join you. Got a few things I want to get done."

Jack nodded. "Sure. Come on."

Archie nodded, and he squeezed Michaela's shoulder as he passed her by. Michaela was still watching Jack. The two men left. Ianto wrung his hands for a moment before asking,

"Tea?"

Michaela nodded, "Sure. I can-"

"No, let me, it's fine. I still remember the rules." said Ianto, smiling at her anxiously. Michaela gave him a returning tight smile, eyes following him as he left. Then she looked at Owen and dropped her eyes. Owen sighed and reached down, picking up the white bag.

"Hey, I'd like to go through your meds quickly, just so I can keep an eye out for side-effects."

"Uh… ok." she mumbled, shifting forward and actually sitting on her hands, like a little girl. Dubhtach sat up as if prepared to defend her. Owen wondered if he should talk to her about the issues between them, especially regarding how he had behaved during the interview with her. He decided it was way too soon. She had the dazed look of someone who was waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under their feet. He would wait and hope his good intentions shone through.

"Ok, lets see what we've got."

* * *

Things were quiet at the Hub, and Jack sighed as he watched Gwen and Tosh whisper together. He had already figured out what they were talking about and knew it was going to be trouble.

"You should just tell them." said Archie knowingly.

"How'd you find out about Flat Holm? Did Ianto tell you?"

"Nope, I figured it out for myself. The same way I figured out that you're immortal. You're like Hansel and Gretel, you leave breadcrumbs to follow."

"And what do you do with these breadcrumbs?"

"I'm like the birds who ate them. I make sure no one else can find them."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I gotta tell them, don't I?"

"I think after everything you guys have been through recently, showing them a little trust before they have to fight you for it would be a good thing."

"… yeah. Guess you're right. Gwen's not gonna like this though."

"Tough titties." sneered Archie, "If she can't handle it, she knows where the ret-con is."

Jack sighed, "I guess I need to look at it like a test for her to prove she can see the bigger picture."

"Well then you'd better do it before she decides she's right above all others."

Jack winced. This would not go well.

* * *

"I'm making a curry, is that ok?" Ianto asked, sounding nervous. Michaela nodded, looking up from her book.

"Yeah, so long as it actually looks like food, I don't mind."

"Was the food really that bad?" asked Ianto, hovering in the doorway. Owen had left an hour ago, leaving Ianto and Michaela alone in the house. So far they had not spoken beyond a regular question of "Tea?"

"It was NHS food." she shrugged, "But I ate worse when I was living in Scotland before I got the job in Torchwood and I definitely ate worse when I was stuck with Blaine."

"Oh… ok then." Ianto wandered into the room and perched on the arm of the couch. "What're you reading?"

"A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson."

"Good book. Easy to read."

"I just needed something… disconnected."

"Yeah… I get that."

Michaela smiled at him disbelievingly, "Do you really?"

"I get that you'd be so sick of talking and analysing and questioning your life, and humanity and what the fuck we're meant to do, a little physics and chemistry would be a welcome break." said Ianto honestly.

"Is that why it's so well thumbed?" she asked running her thumb over the pages of the book, making a soft _pfffftttt_ sound.

"You're not the only one who needs a distraction these days." said Ianto.

"What, Torchwood not enough?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Torchwood is Torchwood. You know how easy it is to hate the universe when you see nothing but what we deal with. But books like that remind me that I'm a fucking miracle to have even existed."

"Miracle? Or accident?" she asked, watching him. Ianto dropped his head, sighing, and then lifted it, squinting at her.

"What are you waiting for?"

"What do you mean?"

"You obviously want to say something, do something, why haven't you done it?"

A smirk formed on her lips, it was calculated, it did not reach her eyes. "I'm waiting for someone to find a reason to send me back in."

Ianto sighed and leaned his head back. "No one is sending you back to Providence. You just got out."

"Yeah, but I knew that was never going to happen if the normal law had not been on my side. So I figure you're trying to get me to screw up again so you have a definitive reason to keep me there forever."

"And it couldn't possibly be that we wanted you back? That we hoped and prayed for you to get better so you could come back? After all the work we've done, you don't think that could be it?"

"Work?" repeated Michaela, the book cracking as her fingers tightened around it, "I was locked up and forced to talk to that woman for weeks! Work implies choice. I was given no choice. I was told when to wake, when to sleep, when to eat, when to talk… they even tried to make me do group work, until I reminded them that I was meant to be trying to convince them I was sane and talking about my job working with alien crap wasn't going to do the trick."

"You're more than your job Michaela." sighed Ianto.

"Maybe, but what I am beyond my job, I hate."

"Well you shouldn't. There's so much about you that I love."

"Hey, you're on happy pills too, you're obviously as crazy as me." she snapped.

"Why are you being like this, I thought we had… we had come to an understanding." said Ianto, hating the desperation in his own voice. Michaela grimaced and looked away.

"Leave me alone." she muttered, almost ripping the book as she opened it and glared at the page.

"Have it your way." said Ianto quietly, getting to his feet and leaving the room. A few minutes later he heard the _thunk_ of the book hitting the wall and her quiet sobs. He closed his eyes, wanting to go in and check on her, but knowing it was unwelcome.

"Welcome home 'kaela." he murmured.

* * *

Don't forget my 500 prompts on LJ!

Night's Darkness


	75. Chapter 71

The next update may be a bit late, due to a heavy workload from college, apologies for this.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 71**

_(21__st__ February 2009)_

Jack called a meeting of all Torchwood members early that morning. This included Archie and Michaela, because they both knew about Flat Holm, and Jack was hoping that they and Ianto would help Owen, Tosh and Gwen understand the situation clearly.

Archie sat at Jack's right hand side, his greying hair slicked down, and his clothing was dark and formal, so he looked like a boss. Michaela was in her Tweety-Bird t-shirt, because she had no other clothes left after her rampage against her suits. Jack winced as he realised someone should have bought her new clothing. Too late now, so she would just have to deal with looking like a kid amongst adults. Officially she was still on 'sabbatical', so she was merely here to let her feel in the loop. She sat next to Archie and slouched in her seat, running a fingertip over the shiny surface of the table.

Ianto was sitting on Jack's left, having already handed out the coffees. He had visibly flinched when Michaela had ignored the drink he placed in front of her, but Jack honestly didn't think it was a deliberate snub on her part. He was pretty sure Michaela was trying to pretend she was somewhere else, if that red blush of humiliation on her face was any hint.

Gwen had that look on her face that told her she was a woman on a mission. Toshiko was going over her information, and Owen was looking wary. He knew something was going to go down, but he was not sure how it would play out.

With everyone fully caffeinated, Jack cleared his throat and said,

"Ok let's get started. Gwen, I understand you have a report for us."

Gwen stood up and turned on the screen at the top of the room. "Cardiff has an epidemic of missing persons, totally out of kilter with any other comparable city. And it's all down to the rift."

Michaela's head lifted up and she then groaned, "Oh no…" and covered her eyes with her hand in exasperation. Everyone looked at her.

"Yes?" asked Gwen pointedly.

"You're talking about the negative Rift Spikes which have been abducting people from Cardiff and tossing them through time and space, aren't you?"

Jack grimaced, as Tosh gasped,

"You knew about this?"

"You didn't?" asked Michaela raising an eyebrow. "It's been known since we've been able to analyse Rift readings, you never noticed before?"

She turned her head to Jack, "What, do you just go around looking for more secrets to keep? How can your team function, how can they trust you, if you hide things from them?"

"Jack?" asked Gwen at once, eyes widening.

Jack sighed and threw Michaela an irritated look before answering, "Yes, I knew about it… but there's nothing we can do to prevent it."

"Why not?" asked Gwen sharply.

"Tosh, is there a way to detect the spikes?" Jack turned to Tosh, hoping that the facts would prove him right.

"Er, no. And they're gone in a matter of seconds." said Tosh sheepishly. Looking back at Gwen, Jack shrugged,

"Then I don't know how we combat them."

Gwen had that look in her eyes, that steely determination that promised that this topic would not just be dropped,

"Jack, we have a duty here. These people are victims of the rift. If they'd been attacked by a Weevil-"

Archie interrupted her at once, "Weevils we can catch. If they're victims, we fix their wounds, but this," he gestured to the folder they had each been given, "We don't know when it's gonna happen, we don't know where they end up. Seriously, lass, practically, tell me what we should do."

Everyone looked at Gwen again, who straightened her spine, preparing to make her announcement,

"We help those left behind."

Ianto closed his eyes, Archie sighed, Michaela snorted, and Jack looked down. "Why not?" Gwen demanded.

"Maybe because Torchwood is shit at looking after its own victims, never mind those who get affected by the universe." said Michaela, sitting back and smiling spitefully. Then her expression completely shifted and she looked at Archie, "Speaking of which, who has been looking after the Canary Warf Victims?"

"I checked in with a couple of them and others I couldn't reach." said Archie, looking uncomfortable.

"And did you find them if you couldn't reach them?"

"Erm… no. I kept an ear out for any mentions of hospitalisations or deaths but-"

"So you didn't bother your arse to see if the handful of people left alive after the Cybermen and Dalek invasion were still ok? Why am I not surprised?" she snapped.

"Hey! I was busy. UNIT is on my fucking back every two minutes asking questions about this or that, and then they kept asking about some sort of Indigo Project-"

"Project Indigo is important! You'd better not have fobbed them off." Michaela snapped, colour in her cheeks deepening.

"I was busy trying to keep things straight… what the hell have you been doing making deals with them without telling me?"

"Not deals, negotiations. What would you have done if I brought every tiny thing to you? Told me to look into it more before I brought it to you again."

"Hey! Not the current topic." snapped Jack, glaring at Michaela. Her eyes flashed,

"Well then get on with explaining Flat Holm!"

"I'm getting to it, and one more word out of you and you're out of here!" said Jack at once. Michaela's eyes widened and Jack thought she was going to scream at him. But instead she snapped her mouth shut and glared down at the table. Jack sighed and looked up at Gwen.

"Gwen the people who have lost people, they are nothing to do with us. We can't help them."

"Jack, you should see these people..." started Gwen, but Jack cut her off,

"Some things we can't fix."

"So we don't even try?" Gwen's voice was getting louder, her emotions overriding her control.

"Look, Jack's right. They need counselling. Support. That is not us." Owen couldn't help but glance at Ianto and Michaela as he spoke, neither of whom acknowledged his look.

"Ah, ok, is that what you all think? We are the only ones who know the truth. We can help them. We don't have to be this hard. It's not a badge of honour!" said Gwen, looking around at them in disappointment. Michaela snorted again and rolled her eyes. Ianto contorted his face into an expression of frustration and fury.

"We don't act like it is. But the world is not made of fluffy cotton and bunny rabbits –my own notwithstanding." he told her bluntly. "We have to see the bigger picture, Gwen. What do you think would happen if we tried to help all those who have lost people? Cardiff would be completely abandoned. No one would willingly live here if they realised the Rift might snatch them up at any time-"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"It is if it means the Rift would be revealed to the world, the panic it would instil in people, the fact that all pretences of secrecy would just die. Not to mention the fact that you're talking about the death of a capital city. They're important to the economy-"

"And that's more important than helping these people?"

"I'm not saying that, I am saying that trying to help them could start a chain reaction we are not prepared for. We tell them the truth, they'll get scared and scared people do stupid things."

"Besides which, it'll inevitably lead to them finding out about Flat Holm… and no one wants that." said Archie leadingly.

"Ok, you've mentioned that place twice, what's the big deal about Flat Holm?" demanded Owen.

"Well…" Jack wondered how to explain. Then to his surprise, and irritation, Ianto answered for him.

"You know that people are taken. Well sometimes they come back. And if they can be saved, they go there."

The silence stretched as Gwen, Owen and Tosh all stared at him. Archie broke it by muttering,

"That about sums it up."

"What do you mean they come back? Does that mean Jonah Bevan-"

"Jonah came back three months before he went missing. He's now in his mid-forties, horrifically scarred and so mentally traumatised that he makes me just look a little quirky." said Ianto, sounding disgusted.

"He's been here all along and you never-"

"Did you not hear the list of things wrong with him?" demanded Archie, "Aged, deformed, traumatised? He might be Jonah Bevan but he is not the same as he was when the Rift took him."

"For one thing, he screams for 20 hours a day." said Ianto quietly.

Gwen looked overwhelmed as she sat down with a thump. "He… you…"

"Flat Holm was originally a sanatorium for cholera patients, then it was a barracks, and now I've set it up as a place that the victims of the Rift can be treated without garnering attention from others." said Jack, wanting to regain control of the topic.

"Why the fuck did you never tell me?" demanded Owen, outraged. Jack sighed,

"I wanted it to be kept a secret. But apparently nosy people can find it if they have a mind." He threw Archie, Ianto and Michaela a dirty look. Archie was unruffled, Ianto shrugged and Michaela looked to be chewing her own tongue.

"So what? Is that it?" demanded Gwen, "You've kept this secret from us and we're just meant to accept it?"

"There's really nothing else to be done about it." said Archie. "I've been over there, and unless you want to help them paint the walls, you can't do much."

"I can bring Nikki Bevan to see Jonah."

At once Jack, Archie, Ianto and Michaela shook their heads.

"Out of the question." said Jack.

"It's too cruel." said Ianto, "Seeing Jonah like that would destroy her. At least now she has hope."

"And that worked out well for you, didn't it Ianto? When Lisa was stuck down the in the basement." snapped Gwen, before covering her mouth in horror at her own words.

"Gwen!" barked Jack.

"I just meant-" stammered Gwen, but Owen cut her off,

"I think you should just stop before you say anything more."

Gwen fell quiet, throwing Ianto an apologetic look. Ianto reclined back as if unbothered by her words.

"That's exactly why I'm saying you shouldn't do it Gwen." he said calmly. "You think you're doing the right thing, but only by you and for you. Contrary to Rhys' sentiments, the world does not begin and end with you."

Gwen flushed.

"The matter is closed." said Jack, "But, now that you know about Flat Holm, you can help Ianto and I in running it. Owen, you can see if they need any new equipment, Toshiko, maybe you could look into helping them set up better security, and Gwen, if you're done, you can look into making the buildings nicer. They're a bit run down by now."

Toshiko nodded, Owen grunted and Gwen deflated. Jack nodded and got to his feet, glancing around.

"Anything else?" No one spoke. "Ok then. Lets get back to work. Archie, why don't you take Michaela home?"

"Aye, c'mon lass. We can get something to eat on the way."

Michaela said nothing, but she got to her feet and followed Archie out, flinching away from Jack as she passed him. Jack sighed wearily. Another problem he would need to address. He could also see that Owen was pissed, not at Jack specifically, but he was angry with Ianto, probably for not telling him about Flat Holm. A few months, or even a few weeks ago, Jack would have worried about how this anger would break, but he found, to his surprise, that he was fully expectant that the two would work it out between them.

* * *

An hour later, Owen went over to Ianto and ordered,

"You and me are going to the nearest pub after hours and you're going to tell me absolutely everything about Flat Holm, got it?"

Ianto blinked at him, and then nodded, "Sure."

"Humph! Good."

Owen left Ianto alone then.

Problem sorted.

* * *

Jack woke up and wondered what had done it. Ianto was sound asleep next to him, his bare skin radiating heat. Straining his ears, Jack realised he could hear a soft sound coming from the next room. Michaela's room. Jack sighed as he realised he could hear her crying. Michaela had been 'in bed' when Jack and Ianto had come home, which meant she was hiding out in her room, avoiding them. Archie had been unable to get her to talk to him after taking her out of the Hub.

"I think she took you a little too literally Jack." the Scot had mused quietly to Jack as Ianto had gone into the kitchen. "When you said if she spoke again she was gone."

"She can't really think I'd fire her for talking… can she?"

"I don't know, but she definitely acted like it. Now maybe she's being deliberately obtuse, but I'm damned if I can tell anymore."

Jack sighed, "I might talk to her, see if I can sort this out."

In the end though Jack had lost his patience with Michaela because she had been mute during dinner, despite Ianto's attempts to engage her in conversation, and had only eaten the bare minimum of the food Ianto had made. Jack had no idea what had happened while he was gone between the two yesterday, but he was sick of the kicked-puppy expression Ianto got whenever Michaela ignored his attempts to be nice, so he had decided to leave her to stew.

Now though, as he listened to the quiet whimpers coming from the other room, he felt guilt drag at his stomach. It was still true she had been unfair to Ianto, but Jack could not just dismiss her for bad behaviour. It had to have a root and Jack should have tried to understand.

Jack sighed and carefully clambered out of the bed, pulling on a t-shirt and walking out of the bedroom. He was grateful the doors didn't squeak. He paused at the door to Michaela's room and listened in. She was still crying, tiny hiccups catching at Jack's heart. It was a very pathetic sound. He pushed the door open and stared in to the darkness. The crying stopped at once, and Jack could almost feel the tension Michaela's body was projecting. Was she waiting for him to leave, was she expecting him to come in? Worse… was she waiting for him to come in and hurt her? Jack had never snapped at Michaela like he had today. If she was like a child, then snapping might have hurt her and made her fearful of him… as if snapping was just the tip of a violent iceberg. Jack sighed,

"I know you're awake… Micka."

There was no verbal response, but Jack could _feel_ her tensing up even more. He swallowed and entered the room, leaving the door open, hoping it would help. He crouched by the bed and reached out in the dark. His hand touched Michaela's back and she made a little noise. He left his hand there and rubbed his thumb over the soft cotton.

"I won't hurt you Micka." he promised, "Nothing I do is intended to hurt you."

She said nothing, but Jack could feel a tiny bit of her tension slip away. Jack smiled at that little victory.

"I know I snapped at you today, but I did not mean you would be fired from Torchwood. I just meant I'd ask you to leave the room. And maybe I shouldn't have reacted so strongly… I mean, I used to want you to talk more, you were so damn quiet. But your behaviour was not acceptable for the job, and I think you know that. You would have been the first to disapprove of that kind of behaviour."

Michaela squirmed a little, Jack could feel the embarrassment radiating off her. He sighed and leaned forward so he could rest his chin on her upper arm, his hand smoothing up and down her side. "Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong? Are you afraid we'll send you back to Providence? Because we won't. We never wanted to send you there, but you needed help we couldn't give you. Maybe you don't want to believe that, that's ok. If you feel abandoned… well I'm sorry. We never meant that either. Tell me… tell me what you're thinking?"

Michaela was silent for so long Jack didn't think she was going to answer him. But then she whispered,

"If I asked, would you fuck me?"

Jack blinked. Well that was unexpected.

"Michaela…"

"Three men… that's it Jack. Three men in my whole life have actually fucked me. Blaine, Ianto, and you."

"Blaine raped you. Not the same."

"Whatever. Would you?"

"I…"

"You wouldn't, would you?" she sighed, sounding unsurprised.

"I… well, look I would but-"

"But I'm soiled in your eyes now."

"No." said Jack at once, squeezing her arm. "No. That's not it. I wouldn't do it now because I don't think it'd be good for you. I wouldn't do it because it wouldn't be right to Ianto. I wouldn't do it because you're asking for the wrong reasons."

"So it's wrong to want to feel attractive?" she asked dully, "To want to feel like I'm worth something?"

"No. But you don't need me to have sex with you to feel that way."

"What about wanting an orgasm?"

Jack had to think for a reply that would sound non-leery. "Why not do it yourself?"

"Can't." she said bluntly, "Only you can."

Jack winced, "You mean to say that when we… that was the first time you…"

"Yep."

"What, Catholic's tell you off or something?"

She snorted, "No. I couldn't shut my brain off. When I tried, it would throw up something that turned me off."

"Oh, so I shut your brain off?"

"You didn't give it a chance to think."

Jack thought back to the grateful and eager light in her eyes that first night and he sighed. He should have taken his time, he would have if he'd known.

"Jack?"

"Yes?"

"Will you do it? Please."

Jack closed his eyes with a groan. A part of him thought it would be kinder to do it, but more of him was telling him it would not help in the long run, it would hurt Ianto and it would eventually prove to not be worth it.

"I'm sorry… I can't."

Her shoulders tensed again under his chin, and she said, "Then you should go."

"Micka, c'mon, I'm trying to be your friend."

"I don't have friends. I have co-workers who I can't trust and I have men who want me to suck them off."

"You have friends." insisted Jack, frustration mounting.

"Last friend I had killed himself to get away from a priest that was raping him. He was ten."

That stopped Jack cold. Michaela had sounded so broken as she spoke. Jack swallowed and came to a decision. He gently tugged her shoulder so she would roll over onto her back, and he stroked her face.

"You have friends Micka. And I am one of them, even if you'll fight me every step of the way. I know you're scared, you think we'll hurt you. I promise none of us want to, we just want to help."

Michaela whimpered, "I wanna believe you. But I don't know how… I don't know. I wanna believe you Jack."

"Good. That's really good." promised Jack, "Come here."

He lifted her up into a sitting position and then clambered into the bed, sitting against the headboard, and tucking her into the crook of his arm so she was resting her head against his chest. "Comfy?"

"Mmmhm." she mumbled, sounding unsure.

"Ok. Now go to sleep."

"But-"

"Just let me look after you, ok? Now go to sleep Micka."

Michaela lay against him stiffly at first, but eventually she relaxed against him and her breathing evened out.

"Jack?" she called sleepily.

"Yeah?"

"Please don't send me away again."

Jack tightened his grip on her and kissed her hair. "I won't. Promise."

* * *

Ah… will they/won't they? My mind is devilish about these two. Lol.

Night's Darkness


	76. Chapter 72

Do I need to warn for slashy-sexings after everything that's come before?

* * *

**Chapter 72**

_(22__nd__ February 2009)_

"I want to go out."

Jack looked up. Michaela was standing in front of him, in her pyjamas, hands clenched into fists as she stared at him. Jack, who was in tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, wondered why she looked so anxious and determined.

"Oook-ay."

"So I can go out then?" she demanded. Jack had to admit it was both annoying and a bit adorable.

"You're not a prisoner Michaela… you can go out." said Ianto behind her, looking annoyed.

"Do I have access to my bank accounts?" she asked, completely ignoring Ianto. Jack nodded, feeling rather caught in the middle. "Where's my purse?"

Ianto went to the drawer in the kitchen and took it out. He also took out a phone.

"Here, Archie's still got yours. This one has a limit of numbers you can call. Me, Jack, Archie, the rest of the team-"

"So I'm still locked out of Torchwood?" she asked Jack. Ianto looked like he wanted to throw a tantrum. It would have been funny, if it hadn't been so sad.

"Just until you're settled."

"I won't be settled until I'm back at work!" she snapped.

"Isn't that a little sad?" asked Jack, trying to make it a joke.

"Works for you." she retorted, turning on her heel and walking out of the room. Jack's eyebrows rose.

"Touché."

"Don't ignore me!" hissed Ianto to the air, saying what he had clearly wanted to say to the woman in question.

"Ianto."

"She hasn't spoken to me properly since she came back." he snapped, "Why is she still mad at me? I thought we'd settled things."

He sounded so upset, Jack could do little but hug him.

"I don't know Ianto, I wish I did. But maybe you should just leave her alone. Maybe withdrawing will make her see you're not crowding her… or make her see that she misses you."

"What did you two do last night?" asked Ianto, looking and sounding a little paranoid.

"We talked."

"What about?"

"Stuff that is between us. I'm sorry, but I can't say more."

Ianto's mouth contracted like he had swallowed a lemon. "Did you fuck her?"

"No! Christ Ianto-"

"'Cause that's what she wants. She wants you. Not me. Never me." he spat in a rush.

"No, I did not have sex with her. I won't be having sex with her. I wouldn't do that to you or to her." Jack could not believe he was having this conversation. "What do I have to do to prove to you I'm not gonna hurt you?"

"Nothing. I trust you." said Ianto at once.

"You just asked me if I fucked Michaela, that proves you don't trust me."

"I trust you. But I don't trust her!" burst out Ianto, looking taken aback at his own words.

Jack stared at him. "What?"

"I… don't trust Michaela not to try something with you. It doesn't matter to her anymore what I want. That's not gonna stop her from trying to get into your pants."

"Yo –Jesus Ianto!"

"I thought I could handle having her here, I thought if she saw us together she'd back off, and maybe we could all be friends. But she wants to fuck you, and I can't stand it!"

Jack put his arms around Ianto again, pulling his face to press against Jack's neck, "Shh… it's ok, calm down." he murmured, squeezing Ianto tight. "Look, I'm not going to sleep with her. And I don't think she really wants to sleep with me. I think she's lonely, and what we had was simple, physical pleasure, it was easy. That's probably what she's after, but that doesn't mean I will give it to her."

Ianto sighed, sagging against him. Jack squeezed him again,

"What happened to your desire for her?"

"I… I dunno."

"I think you need to consider that, because its all you've been talking about and now it's just gone?"

Ianto swallowed, "Ok, I'll think about it."

"Good." Jack released him with a final squeeze and then fished in his pocket for keys. "We'll give her my set to get in, maybe a day to herself is a good idea."

Ianto nodded. Jack smiled at him and went into the hall, calling up the stairs.

"Micka, I'm leaving a set of keys for you by the door. I want you to check in with either me or Archie every two hours, just to let us know you're ok."

There was no reply, but Jack could feel her fuming. "Micka? Answer me please." he called, knowing he was goading her. "Michaela-"

"OK!" she shouted down the stairs. Jack nodded to himself,

"Thank you." he called up. "C'mon Ianto. Work to do."

"Yup." sighed Ianto, following him out the door. He paused as he pulled it shut, glancing up the stairs, sighed again and then shut the door with a click.

* * *

In the Hub, things were tense. Gwen was fuming, choosing to blame Jack for her phone constantly ringing as Andy Davidson was trying to get a hold of her about Jonah Bevan. Owen was immersed in the Flat Holm files he had forced Ianto to get for him to read, while Tosh was studying the security system of Flat Holm to see if she could do anything to aid its protection.

Ianto spent most of the day immersed in his own projects in the Archives, only coming up to eat with them. During lunch Michaela called to check in and hung up as abruptly as she had called.

"Still pissy?" asked Owen, munching on his pizza. Jack sighed and nodded as he set the phone down.

"I dunno, she can't seem to make up her mind, one minute she's angry, the next she's needy, and then she swings back." He shook his head, "Maybe her meds need adjusting."

"Or maybe she just needs time to settle down." said Tosh frostily, catching them all by surprise. "She's been dragged from place to place, pumped full of drugs and all but locked up by people who are meant to be her friends. Maybe we just need to let her be so she can find her own balance. You can't force that sort of thing on people."

Jack suddenly had a strong sense that Tosh was associating her own experiences with UNIT and Michaela's experience of Providence Park. He winced, wishing he had thought of that possibility before. But Owen took Tosh's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"You're right. We need to be patient. This is not something that fixes itself overnight."

They all nodded awkwardly, and finished their meals in silence.

After lunch things eased up, Andy stopped calling Gwen, Michaela checked in with text messages instead of calls, which was annoying, but not an issue since it was easier not talking to her, and aside from Myfanwy needing some attention, things were quiet.

At the end of the day, Jack and Ianto went home and found that Michaela was still not home. Jack was surprised, but not worried, after all, she had only checked in half an hour ago. So he decided to focus on Ianto, their talk from that morning had been weighing on his mind.

Ianto put on some coffee and Jack waited for the scent of the brew to relax Ianto's shoulders before sneaking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his middle, drawing him close and nuzzling his neck.

"Y'know… I'm not that hungry."

Ianto relaxed back into Jack's arms with a sigh. "Me either…"

Jack grinned and began to kiss up Ianto's neck, finally latching onto his earlobe, sucking and dragging his teeth over the soft flesh. Ianto groaned and pressed his arse back into Jack's crotch, eyes closing as his hips twitched. Jack's hands began to wander around Ianto's chest, easing him out of his suit jacket, and then starting on the buttons of his purple shirt.

"Uh…" groaned Ianto, his trousers already getting tighter. Jack smiled as he moved to the other side of Ianto's neck, his hands going to the belt buckle. "Jack…" moaned Ianto, "Not in the mood for teasing. Want it now."

Jack had never heard such sweet words. At least not after so much worry and fear about Ianto's libido. So he made quick work of stripping Ianto until he was as naked as the day he was born, then let Ianto rip his clothes off him. Jack grabbed Ianto's head and kissed him hard as they stumbled into the kitchen counter, Jack putting his backside against the cool counter. He broke the kiss with a groan,

"Want you to fuck me."

"Yes…" sighed Ianto, accepting the lube without question when it was pressed into his hand. Minutes later, finally, after weeks of being without sex, after the last few times of Jack being on top, Ianto was filling Jack up, fingers clutching at his hips as he moaned loudly. Jack's body was burning with pleasure, and then Ianto hit _that_ spot and Jack howled with pleasure.

"Oh god, Ianto! Ianto please!"

"Jack!" Ianto's hands slid up over Jack's ribs, over his pecks and hooking onto Jack's shoulders, holding on tight.

"Faster, please, faster!" moaned Jack, thrusting back, hard. Ianto swore.

"Fuck!"

The pressure was building inside Jack, so strong he thought his head would explode.

"Ianto –gonna, -gonna-"

"Oh fuck, Michaela!"

"Huh?" Jack blinked away the stars in his vision as he tried to look behind at Ianto indignantly. He got halfway there before spotting Michaela standing there, staring at them with wide eyes. Ianto's hips had stuttered to a halt, his cock still inside Jack. Jack looked between Ianto and Michaela, panting with effort to stay still. He was so close –why couldn't Michaela have turned up a few minutes later?

Ianto was panting heavily, leaning over Jack, eyes fixed on Michaela. It was hard to tell which of them was more shocked in that moment as they stared at each other. On the one hand, Ianto and Jack were in the middle of something rather… intimate –_'His cock is up my arse and I'm trying to be coy in my head. I've been here way too long.'_ thought Jack to himself. On the other hand Michaela was barely recognisable to them. Her auburn hair had been dyed a bright copper and cut short, so it just past her chin where it had once fallen past her shoulders. She had obviously had her make up done, and she was wearing high street clothing, like she had just walked out of a fashion magazine. What Jack noticed more than anything though, was the look in her eyes as she stared at them. Her eyes were dark with lust, pupils wide as she took them in, and she bit her lip unconsciously.

Jack glanced at Ianto, and saw that his eyes matched hers in their arousal. He was still rock hard inside Jack, and as Michaela swallowed and her mouth fell open a little, he twitched inside Jack, who moaned without restraint. He was right on the edge and feeling desperate. The sound seemed to snap the two of them out of their daze, and Michaela stepped back, towards the door. Ianto opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. Jack dropped his head onto his arms, shaking, as he watched the thoughts play out over the two youths faces. Ianto's hands were still stroking Jack's skin, reassuring Jack he had not been forgotten, but it was obvious what they were both thinking. It would only take one word from one of them and Jack could easily see them in a naked heap together. The thought made a bolt of excitement flood his body, but he stayed still. He would not interfere with this… no matter how desperate he was feeling.

Michaela drew in a shaky breath and then… she turned on her heel and ran out of the room. It had all happened in the space of fifty seconds.

Ianto sighed heavily, and leaned against Jack, resting his brow on Jack's spine. Jack groaned,

"Ianto… please. I can't…"

"Sorry Jack." he whispered, kissing his back in apology. He began to move again, their excitement had been lost, but Jack had the oddest sensation that Ianto was now marking his territory, as if Michaela's departure had shifted Ianto's thoughts. Jack would have wondered at it, but it only took a couple more strokes from Ianto and he was moaning his orgasm into his arms. He felt Ianto finishing inside his and sighed in relief at the warmth flooding him. Ianto draped himself over Jack's back catching his breath and composing himself.

"Well… that was… interesting." said Jack as he felt Ianto slip out of him. He felt a bit disappointed at the loss, but straightened up and watched Ianto pick up his pants and pull them on. "Do you… do you want to go talk to her?"

"And say what? Sorry you caught us fucking over the counter and yes I'll sterilise it before I make dinner? She's not even talking to me Jack. How can I go up there and talk to her now?"

"Did you miss the way she looked at you?"

"What are you talking about?" demanded Ianto, pulling on his trousers. Jack stared at him and realised he had completely missed what Jack had seen. It made him wonder if Michaela had missed it too, and that was why she had run.

"Ianto, she was staring at you like she wanted to eat you."

"No she wasn't." snorted Ianto, now buttoning up his shirt. Then he glanced up at Jack uncertainly. "Really?"

"All you had to do was hold out your hand and she would have jumped you. And you'd have jumped her, it was obvious."

"I do not do that!" snapped Ianto, looking outraged.

"Huh?"

"I don't pretend I'm fucking someone else when I'm with you."

Jack grinned, wrapping his arms around Ianto. "I know you don't, come here." He kissed him hard, pushing him against the wall before pulling away, "I know you weren't thinking of her with me… who could imagine being with anyone else when they're with me?"

Ianto gave a reluctant smile, sighing into Jack.

"Incorrigible." he mumbled. Jack smirked,

"Absolutely." He kissed him again and stepped back. "Go and talk to her. And tell her I love her hair."

"She looked amazing, didn't she?" Ianto grinned, kissing Jack again, his arms slipping easily around his shoulders. "Although… gotta say you're giving her a run for her money… and you're still naked."

Jack beamed at him. "Ianto Jones… I think I might love you."

Ianto's eyes widened and he stared at Jack, who realised that it was the first time he had actually said such a thing to him. He felt a flutter of nerves as he waited for a response. Ianto bit his lower lip for a moment, and then kissed Jack again. "I… I think I might love you too."

Jack grinned and told any panic he might have felt to go to hell. There had been way too much work for them to get to this point for him to run away now. He kissed Ianto gently, enjoying the feel of his lips against his own, the way the soft flesh tingled with each touch. Kisses were taken for granted far too much these days. Ianto moaned and his hand began to move down Jack's chest, but Jack caught it and pulled back.

"As much as I would like a second round that isn't interrupted… you need to talk to Micka."

Ianto sighed and nodded. "You're right. Ok… I'm going."

He did not move.

"Ianto?"

"Just let me have a moment here… with you. You have so much time… let me have this."

Jack's heart seemed to skip a beat and he smiled sadly, thinking of all the lost moments he had wanted with his lovers, his daughter, his grandson. Why in the world would he deny himself this chance now?

So… yeah, that came out of left field when I wrote it. Hope you enjoyed it!

* * *

Reviews are very welcome.

Night's Darkness


	77. Chapter 73

So, last time Jack and Ianto pretty much admitted they love each other. So things should start getting clear now, right?

Wrong! XD

* * *

**Chapter 73**

_(22__nd__ February 2009)_

Ianto enjoyed the silent moment with Jack and used it to steady his nerves as he climbed the stairs to find Michaela. He almost tripped over all the shopping bags in the hall. Michaela's bank account had no doubt taken quite a hit. But then again, Archie had confirmed Michaela rarely spent more than absolutely necessary before. Considering the kind of salary Torchwood employees got, and the lack of rent or any sort of bills since she was living in Torchwood House, it was likely the account could take the hit.

Knocking on the door he heard Michaela mumble something, which he took to being a 'come in'. He opened the door and found her sitting against her headboard, hugging her knees. Her cheeks flooded with heat as she met his gaze, before looking away.

"We… we should probably talk."

Michaela closed her eyes, blushing deeper, "Must we?" she asked.

"Well… I think we have to." said Ianto gently, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I mean… you won't talk to me… but I thought we had agreed to try to be friends."

"You don't trust me. How can we be friends if you don't trust me?"

Ianto winced, "You heard that?"

She nodded, "Yes. But I knew before that. I could see it in your eyes. You didn't trust me to be on my own."

"Is that why you… snapped at me the night before?"

Michaela shrugged, tugging at her new jeans, "I dunno. I don't know why I acted the way I did. I just… I guess I was resenting how you had this nice house, with your… whatever Jack is, and your brother, and your pets and I got locked away and –and it just wasn't fair!" she burst out, looking embarrassed as she pressed her fist to her mouth.

"So… you're jealous? Is that why you wanted Jack to sleep with you? To get back at me?" Ianto had not intended to even bring it up, but he needed to know.

"You weren't even a factor in my mind when I asked him that, and I don't think its any of your business." she said, face hardening.

"It is when you're trying to screw my boyfriend!" snapped Ianto.

Michaela reeled back, looking stunned. "Boyfriend?"

"Jack's my boyfriend! Don't tell me you didn't know."

"How in Christ's name was I supposed to know that? You never said, in fact the last time I was here you weren't even speaking to him. You hated him. And now you're some sort of proper couple? How was I meant to know? I've been locked away for weeks, and I wasn't here before the trial."

"You knew we were sharing a room in the hotel."

"So what? You could have been fucking to take the trial off your mind. Jack doesn't do couples!"

Ianto glared at her, "He does with me."

"Well I didn't fucking know that!" she snapped, "If I'd known that I wouldn't have embarrassed myself going after someone else's guy."

"Oh really?"

"I don't do that!" she snarled, "I don't fuck other people's boyfriends. I may be mad, but I am not that much of a whore."

Ianto sighed, "Ok. Ok, fine. Maybe we ought to have been clearer with you about us."

They sat in a tense silence for a moment, and then Michaela muttered,

"Clear enough downstairs."

Against his own volition, Ianto's lips twitched, "Surely you heard us when you came in."

Michaela shook her head. "I had my mp3 player in my ears. I didn't hear anything."

"Oh… well…" Ianto had no idea what to say next.

Michaela looked up at him, still pink, but her eyes were dark and Ianto realised she was more than embarrassed by what she had seen. She had been excited. A small thrill went down his spine. He grinned and decided to be cheeky,

"Could have been worse. You could have walked in on Archie with someone. Or even Owen."

Michaela grimaced then gave a reluctant smile, "I guess… if I must… might as well see two good looking guys together than anyone else."

It occurred to Ianto that he could not remember if Michaela had ever actually said that she thought he was good looking before. He smiled and shifted so he was closer to her, feeling bolder.

"Did we look good?"

Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed deeper. "Ianto…" she protested weakly.

"Well I dunno how we look. We could look ridiculous. And I'm not that into being watched, so we're not going to be able to ask anyone to judge us." said Ianto teasingly, reaching out and tapping her knee. "So come on… how'd we look?"

Michaela's cheeks were red, and her eyes were large with lust as she licked her lips nervously. "Good." she mumbled, "Really good."

"Good enough to join in?" asked Ianto, hardly able to believe he was asking her that. Michaela pushed back into the headboard, mouth falling open.

"Ianto!"

Ianto chuckled, "What, tell me you've never thought about it."

"I haven't." she told him quietly. "At least… not until now… but like you said. It wouldn't be right."

Ianto stared at her, then steeled his nerves and reached up, brushing some of her hair out of her face, leaning in close to her. Nervously, she met his eyes, licking her lips. Smiling, Ianto whispered,

"Jack likes your hair."

Michaela sighed, closing her eyes as Ianto leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, relaxing into it as he inhaled her familiar smell.

"Mmm…" she murmured into his lips, leaning into him. Ianto cupped her cheek and felt her hand touch his, rubbing over his fingers, and squeezing them. For a moment their lips just touched, and then Ianto carefully licked her lower lip. The next thing he knew Michaela was pushing her fingers into his hair, kissing him frantically and pushing him backwards.

"Oaf!" he grunted as she shoved him onto his back, taken aback by her change in demeanour. It made him wonder if this was all a mistake, but he could not bring himself to care as Michaela finally kissed him the way he had always wanted her to. Her hands were slipping under his shirt and he pulled away from her mouth to start kissing down her neck, making her shudder against him with a moan –

"Ianto!"

Ianto jumped as Jack's voice came up the stairs. Michaela sat back in surprise, looking around for the man himself.

"Yeah?" Ianto called, trying to catch his breath.

"Tosh called, seems there's a bunch of Weevil's heading for a main street. C'mon, we gotta go."

"Coming!"

Ianto looked up at Michaela, who was still on top of him. She was holding some of her hair back with one hand by her ear, the other was touching her lips, eyes dazed.

"You ok?"

She jumped and her eyes flicked up to meet his. She nodded, still holding her head like a child. Ianto sat up and took hold of her waist to gently push her off him. "I have to go, ok? Can we talk later?"

She nodded again, staring at him so hard it was hard to maintain eye contact. Ianto quickly dropped a kiss on her forehead, hoping to reassure her, then hurried down the stairs. Jack took one look at him and clearly knew what had happened.

"Ok?"

"Yeah… yeah I think so."

"Do you want to-"

"Maybe later. Need to actually process it first."

"Ok."

The Weevils weren't that hard to sort out, but the sheer number of them was rather alarming. It took over two hours to round them all up, especially the bull, who Owen swore up and down was out on the prowl for a mate.

"I swear to Christ Jack, if the Weevils start humping and laying eggs or having babies or whatever, I quit!" he barked as they clambered wearily back into the SUV.

"And where would that leave me?" demanded Toshiko wryly over the comm. from the safety of the Hub.

"Yeah, you'd never see your girlfriend if you didn't work for me." said Jack cheerfully as he started to drive back to the Hub.

"Jack, can you drop me off at home? It's on the way from here and I really want to actually see Rhys before going to bed." said Gwen hopefully.

"Sure. Owen I can drop you off too."

"No thanks, I have to pick up Tosh. We're going out."

"It's 10pm."

"It's a very late reservation." said Owen with a shrug,

"How much extra did that cost?" asked Ianto.

"None of your business Ianto."

"It is if you try to charge it to Torchwood."

"Well then lets just say it's not something I'm going to reveal to Toshiko, she'll insist she doesn't deserve it."

"Fair enough."

"Aww, look at you Owen, being all romantic." cooed Gwen with a wry grin.

"I'll have you know that I can be as romantic as Romeo." drawled Owen.

"Ah, so you're an immature, flaky teenager who falls for two girls within a day of each other, and decides that selfish love is all that matters in the world." Ianto all but purred at his brother, grinning wickedly. Owen blinked and then frowned in confusion, while Gwen giggled behind her hand.

"… you guys do realise the comm. is still on, yes?" asked Jack at last, throwing Owen a wide grin as the doctor swore and Toshiko began to protest him spending ridiculous amounts of money on her. Gwen and Ianto both hand to bite their hands to keep from bursting out laughing.

* * *

"Rhys? I'm home!" called Gwen as she turned the key in the door and entered her flat. She trotted into the sitting room and stopped short. "Oh! Hi Michaela."

"Hey." mumbled Michaela, looking embarrassed as she sat on Gwen's couch, a mug of tea in her hands. Rhys was sitting next to her, reclined back in a relaxed stance, juxtaposing Michaela's tension.

"Heya lovely!" cheered Rhys, grinning at her. "Michaela and me were just having a nice chat."

"That's good. I like the hair Michaela."

"Thanks."

"Bit different."

"That was the point."

Gwen nodded, fidgeting with her keys as she wondered what to do with herself. Michaela made the choice for her by setting her mug on the table and getting to her feet.

"I should head back anyway. I didn't tell Jack I was leaving. Might as well go and face him."

"They're going back to the Hub first. If you hurry you might make it back without them twigging." said Gwen, smiling at her.

"Thanks." Michaela gave a tight smile and gave a little wave to Rhys as she left the flat. Gwen watched her go and then turned back to Rhys, curious.

"So what were you two talking about?"

"Oh no, that's private, that." said Rhys at once, wriggling on the couch so he sank deeper into the cushion. "You're not the only one who can keep a secret."

Gwen grinned at the obvious playful challenge in his voice. "Oh come on, I don't need all the details. Just a little bit!" she wheedled, striding over and straddling his hips as she climbed onto the couch.

"Oh I dunno now…" drawled Rhys, smirking up at her. "I think I'd best just say nothing. Was told in confidence, wasn't I?"

"You don't need to tell me everything, just tell me if she's ok… that way I won't worry about it tomorrow." Gwen backed this up with a kiss to the lips. Rhys chuckled and kissed her back, arms going around her waist.

"Well…"

"C'mon. Just one little thing." Gwen pouted, undoing the buttons of her top slowly, arching an eyebrow.

"Well…" said Rhys again, before grinning. "Ok. One thing. But you gotta swear to say nothing."

Gwen adopted a serious look and held up her hand, "I swear." She knew whatever Rhys would tell her, it would not be something important. It would be something small, something that would not matter. But it was still fun to wheedle it out of him.

Rhys' grin widened. "Michaela's got a crush on someone."

Gwen's eyes widened, "What? You mean on Jack or Ianto?"

"Nope. I mean, someone outside of Torchwood." said Rhys conspiratorially.

"Who?" gasped Gwen.

"No idea. She didn't say."

A lie, but one that told Gwen that the game was up. If she pushed, it would ruin the good mood. So she sighed and smiled.

"Well… that's interesting."

* * *

Who saw that coming? Lol.

Night's Darkness


	78. Chapter 74

*grabs a pen, begins writing* Dear plotbunny living in my head, What the HELL have you been doing? In a WEEK, a single WEEK, you got me to write 5 new chapters to this fic and bring it to the teetering edge of completion. How did you do that, and why haven't you done it sooner? Gah!

Sincerely

Night's Darkness

Seriously, how the hell did I manage that? I have exams starting tomorrow!

Oh well… Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 74**

_(23__rd__ February 2009)_

"Get that boat ready."

"Sorry?"

"I said get that boat of yours ready. I want to see Flat Holm." Owen had his arms crossed and a scowl set on his brow. Ianto took one look at the furrow between his eyes, and set down his files.

"Ok then. Give me half an hour."

"Right then."

"You're going to Flat Holm?" asked Gwen, rolling away from her desk and looking at them with beady eyes.

"So it would seem." said Ianto, raising an eyebrow. "You wanna come too?"

"Yes. I need to see Jonah. I need to know what he's been through." she said at once, jumping to her feet. Ianto glanced at Owen and then spotted Tosh coming up to join them. His other eyebrow followed the first. Then he turned on his heel and called,

"Jack!"

"Yes?" Jack's head appeared around the door, a curious pout on his lips.

"Boat trip." said Ianto. It took Jack all of half a second to figure out what he meant and his eyes clouded.

"Oh…"

"Yup. Oh. 30 minutes." said Ianto simply, giving him a bracing smile. Jack swallowed and nodded.

* * *

Gwen was trembling as the great, lumbering figure of a man who was meant to be Jonah Bevan stepped into the light. Her stomach turned as she saw the damage his face had suffered, her heart broke at the look of boyish hope and eternal pain in his eyes.

"Who are you?" he rasped at her, and Gwen shuddered as she found her mind screaming the name Quasimodo at her, in some twisted attempt to escape the horrific reality of what she was seeing.

"My name is Gwen Cooper... and I'm with Torchwood."

Jonah nodded as if that explained enough. Gwen swallowed, her throat constricting painfully as she whimpered, "What... What's happened to you?"

Jonah sighed and his eyes shifted as he looked over Gwen's shoulder, at Ianto who was standing at the door. Owen and Tosh were with Jack, inspecting the actual hospital. When Jonah spoke, it was as if he was telling Ianto, not Gwen, what had happened. Gwen wondered if it was because Jonah sensed something in Ianto that made him feel like they shared a connection.

"I was walking home. There was a light. I woke up and the land was on fire, there were flames, for miles on end. A man pulled me from the flames. Took me to a building, where they tried to work on the burns. I thought I was going to die. I don't remember when the ground started shaking, and then I realised it wasn't a building after all. It was a rescue craft. The last off a burning planet. We watched the Solar System burn." Jonah smiled that same smile Jack got when he was thinking of loved ones long lost. "It was so beautiful."

Tears formed in Gwen's eyes, "I am so sorry for what's happened to you."

Jonah stared at her beadily, then shuffled closer, reaching out with huge hands. "Can I trust you to tell the truth?" he asked, eyes now fixed on her completely, so she felt pierced by his pain. Shaking, Gwen reached for his hands and took them in her smaller ones. She felt her engagement ring twist a little on her finger at the motion and thought that all she wanted to do was run home to Rhys.

"Of course."

Squeezing her hands, Jonah leaned in to her face, "Am I really home?" he whispered.

Gwen's heart broke at the question, given in the voice of a lost little boy, "Yes. You're home." She said it feeling like she was actually making a promise.

Jonah smiled and closed his eyes, nodding, "Thank you."

He let Gwen's hands go and looked at Ianto. "He said that was the truth. But I… I wasn't sure if… if he wasn't just telling me that to make me feel better."

Gwen looked over her shoulder at Ianto who smiled slightly, looking at the ground. She felt a little jealous of Ianto's ease here, as if he was used to the depressing surroundings. But then again, she realised, if only Ianto knew about it when Jack was gone, he must have had to look after it. Swallowing hard, Gwen turned back to Jonah, who was starting to move away from her.

"Jonah, I've come because your mother is still looking for you." she burst out.

"Gwen!" snapped Ianto as Jonah gasped, "She's still alive?"

Gwen nodded, ignoring Ianto who was stepping forward. "You've only been gone for seven months. She never stopped looking."

Jonah looked like he was going to cry, "I tried so hard to come home. I was lost so long."

Gwen reached for his hands again, aching to comfort him, "You're safe now, you are safe."

Jonah clutched at her hands, tight enough to hurt. "Can I see her? Can you bring her here?"

"Is that what you want?" asked Gwen, but before Jonah could answer, Ianto stepped forward.

"Jonah, I'm sorry, but we cannot bring your mother here."

"Why not?" demanded Gwen as Jonah's face crumpled into grief and he extracted his hands from Gwen. "Why can't they see each other?"

Ianto gave her a very patronising look, speaking in a whisper. "How are you going to tell her her child has aged 40 years in the last seven months? That he's scarred, that he cannot look after himself..."

"We don't have the right to hide it from her!" hissed Gwen. Ianto glanced at Jonah, who was now sitting on his bed again, then grabbed Gwen by the arm, rather roughly for him, and all but dragged her out of the room. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Do you know why we never told Jonah he was so near his mother?" demanded Ianto, "It's because we knew they would never be able to see each other."

"But it-"

"Gwen, for once in your fucking life listen to someone who actually knows what they're talking about." snapped Ianto. Gwen jumped at his tone, "You may think that Nikki knowing her son is alive is the right thing, but let me tell you something. It isn't. It will break her to know how bad Jonah is."

"But he's not so bad… I mean, he looks… but his mind is still-"

A noise broke out from Jonah's room, cutting off Gwen's words. It was a loud, cutting, unending scream that seemed to rattle Gwen's very bones as she turned to the door. Ianto winced and dragged Gwen away from the room, even as she immediately began fighting him. "Let me go Ianto! What's wrong with him? What have you done?"

Ianto did not reply, only grabbed Gwen around the waist and actually carried her off, ignoring her vocal protests. He only put her down when they were in some sort of canteen, where Jack and Tosh were standing. Gwen whirled around, livid,

"What the fuck are you doing to him?"

"Nothing."

"You-"

"Shut up Gwen!" snapped Ianto, equally livid. "Shut up and listen to me!"

Gwen's mouth shut out of sheer surprise.

Ianto gave her a moment to see if she would speak again, then he spoke in a calmer tone.

"Before the rift returned him, Jonah had looked into the heart of a dark star. What he's seen has traumatised him beyond recovery. So for twenty hours every single day he screams like that."

"Can't they do something to help him?" asked Gwen, shaken to the core by the sound.

"Help him? Oh now there's a suggestion. Why don't we help him? I mean, sure we hired all those nurses to sit around and watch TV and eat chocolates but you know, you might have something there Gwen, help him –of course we've tried to help him. Do you seriously think we haven't tried? But like Jack said, some things cannot be fixed! And its high time you start to understand that you don't make the world turn, you're not the only one who cares and you're not the only one who wants to help people."

Ianto turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, leaving the three occupants speechless.

* * *

Owen found his brother sitting by the water, staring at the city on the other side. Ianto was perched on a rock, his elbows resting on his knees, a scowl on his face.

"Heard there was a showdown between you and Gwen." said Owen, crouching down next to him.

"You could say that."

"Finally tell her what you really think of her?"

"Not exactly… some of it. I just… I guess I snapped a little."

"Had to happen. I mean… you're still dealing with shit, and that woman will push anyone's buttons." said Owen, shaking his head.

"It's just, the idea that we haven't tried to help Jonah ever since we found him infuriates me. She has no idea what Jack does to help these people. He's always on the look out for something, anything, that'll help them get better."

"She didn't mean it like that."

"I don't care right now. If I see her I'm likely to punch her."

Owen chuckled, "That, I would like to see."

Ianto threw him a wry smile. "I bet."

"So, you wanna stay here for a while?"

"Yeah. I just… I need to cool off."

"Ok. Want me to go?"

"Don't really mind, I'm not going to be much company."

"Ah, I'll stay. That place is…" Owen let out a heavy breath when he could not find the right words.

"Yeah, I know."

"And you handled it when Jack was gone?"

Ianto shrugged, "I just managed the accounts. Helen does most of the work."

Owen nodded, "Yeah. I only just met that woman, but I may be a little in love with her. She's amazing. Don't tell Tosh."

"I'll take it to my grave."

A minute or so past, during which time they just listened to the sound of the water. Then Owen spoke, "So, I've a question for you."

Ianto looked at him, eyebrows raised,

"Ok."

"So, the Rift is bringing people back, people it took, yeah?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that means the Rift is maybe trying to correct its mistakes?"

"If it is it means the Rift is alive." said Ianto at once. Owen gave him a bewildered look and he shrugged, "I've already thought about this."

"Of course you have."

They were quiet again for another moment. Owen picked up a stone and threw it into the water.

"Bit freaky, isn't it? That the Rift might actually be somehow alive?"

"Maybe the whole universe is alive."

"What? And we're living inside a giant monster?"

"Maybe that's what god is." said Ianto shrugging.

"Huh?"

"What if God is the universe and we're like the bacteria inside his stomach. God's not even aware of us, good or ill. We just gotta hope he never takes an antibiotic."

"… you've thought about this too much."

"I really have."

"Maybe we should sit in silence for the rest of the time."

"Sounds good."

They sat in silence as agreed, but Ianto noticed how Owen kept glancing upward warily for the time they stayed there. He grinned.

* * *

My hope is to post again on Sunday –unless life gets in the way. Since I have five chapters now awaiting posting… I really do not know how to manage that, lol.

*still baffled*

Night's Darkness


	79. Chapter 75

Since this is such a small chapter, and not very plotty, I decided I'd post it today and then post the next one tomorrow. This is just a bit of light-hearted fun (read: nationalism XD) for the characters to indulge in.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 75**

_(24__th__ February 2009)_

Ianto stared at the ceiling as his alarm went off. He had been awake for two hours already, having jerked awake for no reason he could be certain of. He felt Jack stir at the sound of the alarm and Ianto automatically reached out and smacked the thing quiet.

"Morning." mumbled Jack, blinking at him blearily. Ianto smiled at him, but he could tell Jack had already spotted that something was wrong. "You ok?"

"Mmm. Woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."

"Something on your mind?"

"I dunno… maybe."

"You mean you're not sure?"

"No. I mean… I can't think of anything specific."

"Hmm… well…" Jack shifted closer and rested his hand on Ianto's chest, stroking it idly as he pursed his lips, pressing them to his shoulder. "I have a theory."

"Ok. I'm all ears." sighed Ianto, looking at him.

"I think that despite the fact that you know I'm not upset over your little make-out thing with Micka, you feel guilty because you were only two days ago complaining about me sleeping with her."

Ianto winced and acknowledged that Jack was unfairly perceptive when he wanted to be. It had been bugging him, no matter how rational he tried to be. He closed his eyes and then quickly turned on his side to face Jack.

"I just… I don't get how you can be ok with it? It was a betrayal-"

"Don't be so dramatic Ianto. Look," Jack's large hand rested on Ianto's hip and squeezed it. "You and Micka… you have this complicated relationship, you're friends, you're lovers, you're even rivals sometimes. And you need to resolve it between you, and only you two. If resolving it means you maybe spend a night, or a few days in bed with each other, then I'm ok with it. A betrayal would be you doing it behind my back, aware that I wouldn't be ok with it. But you're not and I am."

"Really? You're ok with it?"

"Yes. And it's not because I'm not invested in what we have, it's not because I'm trying to push you away or anything like that. It's because I get it, I get that you both need this to be happy, and all I want is for both of you to be happy."

"But… what if we… do it and then I want her more than you?" Ianto could not believe he was asking this, but it was worrying him. He did love Jack, and he did not want to hurt him for anything, but he was afraid of what he would find out about his own feelings if he really did sleep with Michaela.

Jack's face flickered with something that looked like panic, but it vanished and he ran his hand over Ianto's skin again.

"I suppose I would be ok with that… though I hope it isn't true. But if you would be happier with her… I wouldn't stand in your way."

"I don't want that to happen." groaned Ianto, shifting his leg so he could hook his knee around Jack's. "I don't want to lose you."

Jack smiled, looking relieved, "Then you probably won't."

Jack kissed Ianto's brow and then the bridge of his nose. "Don't be afraid of your feelings Ianto. Trust me, it sucks."

Ianto looked up into Jack's bright blue eyes and saw the truth of that statement etched in them. He reached out and put his arms around Jack's middle, holding him close, closing his eyes as he inhaled the familiar scent.

The alarm went off again.

* * *

_(12__th__ March 2009)_

Tosh had, of course, been right. Michaela's moods had indeed settled down after a little while, once she got into a routine. Her daily walks seemed to help, taking Dubhtach –who was in the happiest mood Jack had ever seen –out around the town. If she came home after Jack and Ianto, Jack was able to see that she had a pink flush on her skin and a secretive little smile on her face. Jack knew that smile well, he knew that look in her eyes. It was the beginnings of love making butterflies fill her tummy. Clearly Michaela had been daydreaming, probably about Ianto and himself. It was the only explanation for the look. It made Jack grin to wonder what she had been daydreaming about.

"What're you grinning about?" asked Ianto as they drove to the Hub that morning, Michaela in the back with Dubhtach in the boot.

"Oh, nothing… just good thoughts." said Jack slyly.

"He means sex thoughts, doesn't he?" said Michaela casually to Ianto.

"Yup." replied Ianto, equally bland. Then he twisted in the seat and looked at Michaela, "Did you ever tell him what you told me? About his arse?"

Michaela burst out laughing, "No, I didn't. Forgot all about it."

"What about my arse?" asked Jack, frowning into the rearview mirror.

Ianto grinned at him as he said, "Go on!" to Michaela.

"No! I'm not gonna insult him on the first day back." said Michaela, sounding far too amused for Jack's ego.

"Hey! If it's my arse you're insulting I have a right to know." he pouted.

Michaela covered her mouth, giggling like a little girl, mumbling something into her fingers.

"What was that 'kaela?" prodded Ianto, grinning wickedly. Michaela sighed and dropped her hands, still sniggering,

"Your bum's not symmetrical."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You've got one arse cheek which is bigger than the other." said Ianto slowly, eyes glinting with delight.

"I do not!"

"It's only slight, but it's true." she said, biting her lower lip.

Jack narrowed his eyes, insulted and endeared to the two of them acting so silly.

"And how much did you have to check my arse out to find that out, eh, Micka?"

Michaela blushed, still biting her lip and grinning like a little girl. "I noticed it in the shower… remember?"

Ah yes… Jack remembered that. Ianto looked between them, looking curious, and a little bit intrigued. It was a dramatic and delightful change from the suspicious attitude he had had before. It gave Jack hope that eventually they would all be able to just be friends and tease each other like this all the time.

They arrived at the Hub in good spirits and after they let Dubhtach out of the boot, they made their way into the command centre. Archie was already there, reading a newspaper. When they walked in he rose to his feet and smiled at them.

"Morning."

"Morning." said Jack.

"Dia dhuit ar maidin." said Michaela, a little quieter. Archie's face lit up with delight,

"Madainn mhath." he said in return. He reached out to her and Michaela allowed him to hug her, relaxing against him after a moment.

Jack glanced at Ianto who smiled,

"They like to use Gaeilge and Scots Gaelic to greet each other. Archie said that she hadn't done it since he admitted his interference of her and me."

"Ah…" Jack smiled, pleased at the gesture.

Archie kissed the top of Michaela's head, and then they parted, Archie squeezing her shoulders.

"Ceud míle fáilte lass." he said. Michaela smiled, looking a little teary-eyed.

"Go raibh maith agat Archie."

"Bore da Archie." said Ianto smartly, giving them a chance to break the moment before one of them got too emotional.

"What have I told you about using that bloody p-celtic jibberish around me, lad." said Archie, sniffing hard. Michaela discreetly wiped her eyes as she grinned at Archie's words.

"Funny enough, I find the letter p is rather useful, unlike you q-celts who are stuck without one." said Ianto smirking, "Besides which at least our words are pronounced as we spell them, unlike your words. How is B-H-F supposed to sound like a W, exactly?"

"You just used all the letters leftover in the alphabet." said Michaela, grinning.

"Hey, there are more Welsh speakers than Irish and Scots Gaelic speakers, so clearly our language is better. More people give a shit about it."

Archie and Michaela both looked outraged and Jack looked between them and Ianto, wondering if Ianto had gone too far,

"Least the Irish don't answer to some nanny-state." said Michaela, folding her arms.

"No, you answer to the Catholic Church." retorted Ianto with a grin.

Michaela narrowed her eyes, clearly stumped by that, "It's not that much anymore." she protested weakly.

"You still have the Angelus at 12 and 6 on your main radio and tv station!" snorted Ianto, leaning against the wall, smirking wider.

"At least they fought for liberty from the fucking monarchy!" said Archie, eyes glinting with delight. He looked happier than Jack could remember.

"Yeah! And at least the Scots are trying to break away, unlike you lazy Welsh."

"Yeah, we're too busy saving our language and culture to bother with bombings and revolution."

Michaela gasped, mouth falling open and Archie bristled. Jack grimaced, now that had been too far.

"Oh yeah? Well at least the rest of the world loves the Irish, most of them don't even know Wales exists!" said Michaela triumphantly.

"Yeah, I ain't never heard of a famous film about a brave Welshman, neither." said Archie.

Ianto straightened up as the tables were turned on him, "Hey! We're not-"

"I mean, the whole world pretty much celebrates being Irish every year, from America to China to South Africa. Who celebrates being Welsh?" smirked Michaela, clearly gleeful at having gained the advantage.

"No one celebrates being Scottish, so I don't know what you're smiling about Archie!" snapped Ianto.

Archie laughed, "Maybe not, but I know my history. The Scots are the cousins of the Irish, and you should always take pride in your family's fame."

Jack discreetly took hold of the nearest chair and sat in it backwards, resting his arms on the back, watching in utter fascination. He was well aware of the histories of the three nations, but seeing three people who were charged with defending the whole planet bickering over which nation was the best was rather endearing.

"All people celebrate on St. Patrick's Day is being able to get drunk. Great cultural contribution, 'kaela."

"Rather be a drunk than a sheep shagger! Besides which we've had more important cultural contributions to the world than the Welsh ever have!"

"Name one!"

"Oscar Wilde!"

"Roald Dahl!"

"James Joyce!"

"C.S. Lewis!"

"J.F.K!"

"Doesn't count he was American."

"C.S. Lewis was born in Belfast and Roald Dahl's parents were Norwegian."

"Tom Jones."

"U2!"

"Rugby!"

"You suck at it! Hurling, fastest sport in Europe!"

Jack felt like he was watching a tennis match now, as Archie stepped back to join him and let the younger two argue it out.

"Not gonna defend Scotland Archie?"

"Can't get a fucking word in." said Archie, grinning. "They used to do this all the time, I'd come in and hear them arguing about their cultures, always good fun to see what they'd come up with."

Jack chuckled and looked back at the two, who were now standing almost nose to nose, leaning forward as they argued. They were both grinning and their eyes were glinting with pleasure… and if Jack was seeing right, a little bit of desire.

"We've got a dragon on our flag." said Ianto. "You've got a pathetic trio of colours, and people constantly think it's the Italian flag."

"We invented Halloween!"

"We invented King Arthur!"

"We saved all the important works that were lost during the dark ages! If it weren't for the Irish and the Muslims all of Europe's most important works would have been lost!"

Ianto seemed to struggle for something to match that when the cog wheel rolled away and Tosh and Owen came in, holding hands. Archie glanced at them and then said,

"Well at least you two can agree on one thing."

Ianto and Michaela looked around at him. Archie grinned, "At least neither of you are English."

Their reactions were instantaneous. "Who would want to be English?" scoffed Michaela, as Ianto snorted, "Thank Christ for that."

Tosh and Owen both stopped and looked around in bewilderment, wondering what the hell they had just walked in on.

"I mean, really, no one would want to be English."

"Who actually celebrates being English?"

"I know, right?"

"Completely."

Ianto and Michaela sniggered to themselves and then Ianto smiled around at them all.

"Coffee?"

"Please." said Jack, chuckling as he rose from his seat. He shook his head at Tosh and Owen, telling them not to mind and then headed for his office, pausing at the door. "Oh, and for the record you three,"

Archie, Ianto and Michaela looked around at him. Jack smirked, "When it comes to regaining your language after years of repression, Finland has you all beat."

He ducked into his office before any of them could respond.

* * *

If anyone feels I didn't get something correct about Wales and Ireland, I will point out that fictional characters don't need to know every correct fact, after all, no normal person knows everything, and it is easy to misinterpret some bit of info or take it too literally.

Next time: THE FATE OF TORCHWOOD IS DECIDED!

*wanted to sound epic in the hope it will intrigue people*

Night's Darkness


	80. Chapter 76

… since it's been exactly a day, I have very little to say beyond, Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 76**

_(12__th__ March 2009)_

Later, after Gwen arrived and Ianto had handed out the coffees, Jack called them to a meeting.

"Ok, so first of all, I'd like to officially welcome Michaela back into Torchwood's ranks." Michaela flushed but smiled into her cup. "And secondly, I think we should talk about the future of this organisation."

They all looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and trepidation. Jack sighed and flattened his hands on the table, recalling what he had planned to say,

"Torchwood was founded in 1879 at Torchwood House, by Queen Victoria because she believed the Doctor and all other aliens were a threat to the safety of the British Empire and the world. In 1882, she expanded its role to include the acquisition of alien technology to be used to benefit our defences. In 1888 she made it clear that we were to remain a secret from the Empire. That same year was when we discovered the Rift here in Cardiff and Torchwood Three was founded. Over the next few years three other Torchwood divisions were founded in the Empire, Torchwood One in London, Torchwood Four in Dublin, and Torchwood Five in Delhi-"

Gwen looked surprised and glanced around at the others, none of whom looked surprised at the mention of Torchwood Five. Jack ignored her in favour of continuing,

"Torchwood Four disappeared in 1922, and I had Torchwood Five shut down in 1924. Torchwood One was destroyed in 2006. So that leaves Torchwood Two, in Scotland and Torchwood Three, right here. We, who are sitting here, are the only people still working for the organisation, and we are charged with defending the world. Seven people looking out for seven billion."

They all looked at each other, looking a little daunted by this reminder. Archie cleared his throat,

"So you take one billion, I'll take another and so on. We can handle that."

Jack smiled at Archie in gratitude for his attempt to lighten the mood. "Sounds easy, but we are already stretched just looking after this city."

"Five was only really created to mark the extent of the British Empire." said Ianto.

"Can I object to their decision to call themselves the Royal Connacht Club?" asked Michaela lightly, although Jack noticed she had drawn one leg up to hug it against her chest and rest her chin on her knee.

"Five was also to collect any alien artefacts that ended up in India. The Rift was in the habit of flinging things pretty far back then. Lately it has been more localised, but we cannot guarantee that will remain so."

"I've been looking into the Rifts patterns. But it's hard to get a clear pattern, because the data only goes back to 1888, and the Rift is as old as the planet if not more." said Toshiko.

"Four was created because of the abundant amount of aliens found in Ireland. For whatever reason, the Rift kept dropping them there instead of in Wales. Which could explain a few things." mused Michaela.

"Micka, do you know how the alien population is in Ireland?"

"I know that Four was working on setting up a load of 'historical sites' where aliens had set up homes, to keep locals away from them before it vanished. But modern research is very limited. I do know there was great concern that aliens would get caught up in the middle of the Troubles, and that there was even a belief that it was alien involvement that got Michael Collins killed."

"What does the Irish government know about it?"

"Nothing really. The President knows, Queen Elizabeth herself informed her –what I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall then – and so does the Taoiseach, our Prime Minister, but as far as I know the Army Rangers are the only ones who actively work in alien control."

"The Rangers?" repeated Archie sounding appalled, "Those nuts are handling aliens?"

Michaela shrugged helplessly, "We can't have a specialised army for aliens, if anyone got wind of it people might think it was the IRA up to more shit."

"But the Rangers? They're sociopaths!"

"Look, without Four, things got tricky. Alien accidents were blamed on the rival factions of the civil war."

Jack held his hand up, "Ok, so Ireland still has aliens running around it?"

"Yes. The Rift hasn't dumped many in the last few years, but when it does I alert the Rangers and they deal with it. But they don't tend to go hunting for aliens, so long as they stay near the fairy forts or wherever they were confined to."

"Fairy forts?" repeated Owen, raising an eyebrow, "You're kidding, right."

Michaela gave him a bland look, "They're mostly stone age monuments or burial sites, and most people know that. Doesn't stop them being called fairy forts. Besides which the belief keeps people away from them."

"What, no one goes a huntin' for a pot o' gold?"

"Owen…" warned Jack. Owen fell quiet as Michaela rolled her eyes. "Ok, so we should probably look into communicating better with the Rangers, or having UNIT assign a team there?"

"Or we could refound Torchwood Four." suggested Ianto, "Their base is still there,"

"And its still in good condition." said Michaela, "I was there about a year and a half ago, it hasn't been touched."

"What were you doing there?"

"Looking for evidence about what happened to the original team."

"Right. Well its something to consider."

"What about refounding Torchwood London?" asked Gwen. "Is there a Rift there?"

"No. It was set up to be close to the monarchy and so that there would be a base of operations in the four main places of the British Empire."

"I would be real wary of founding London again." said Archie, "Even if it is just because I disliked Hartman and how she ran things."

"Is it really needed?" asked Toshiko. "If it isn't for a Rift?"

"Maybe not. But I think we need to consider that we are just too small to handle this job without London. They did all the interacting with UNIT until they collapsed, and then it all fell on Michaela and Archie, when they weren't the active team." said Jack.

"UNIT is a Military Taskforce, no matter how much they say they're an Intelligence Taskforce." said Ianto. "They will always react like a military taskforce."

"And that's good sometimes." said Archie.

"But we need to make sure they don't do it when its bad."

"Archie, Micka, what do you think our standing with UNIT is like?"

Michaela shrugged, flushing, "I don't know, I've been out of the loop too long."

"I think they're feeling a little magnanimous at the moment. Y'know, they let us off, thus we owe them our hinds." said Archie looking annoyed.

"Of course they do, we had to agree to their terms." said Michaela, shaking her head. "They like to think they were answering to themselves. They weren't. UNIT answers to the UN, it was their call, not UNITs about our fate."

"Well they've been trying to make me hand over a piece of tech that's very dangerous."

"What piece?"

"You gave it some weird name that I won't even try to pronounce," said Michaela, "I called it the Heisenberg Compensator."

Archie and Ianto sniggered, while Jack frowned at the name.

"There's no such thing."

"I know, but that's what UNIT thinks it is."

"Jack, it's a Star Trek reference." said Ianto, still smiling. "That's how the transporter works."

"And that's what UNIT is trying to build." said Michaela. "They're calling it Project Indigo. They want to make a portable transporter, but they need the tech we've got to even have a hope of it working, or so they say. But I wouldn't let them have it without agreeing to letting someone like Toshiko work with them. Naturally, they didn't take it well."

"No wonder they've been pestering me, I knew none of that and they must have thought I'd hand it over without those stipulations." said Archie.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep you in the loop Archie." said Michaela quietly. "I thought I could handle it."

"And I should have been more pressing about these things, but I was happy not to be dealing with UNIT. Ah well, live and learn, eh?"

Michaela gave Archie a grateful smile and relaxed.

"So they want some sort of tech from us-" started Jack.

"It's the device that allows matter to be controlled both in its trajectory and speed."

"Oh! Now I know what you're –UNIT wants that!" Jack was appalled, "I put that under lock and key in the secure archives myself. No one is touching that."

Michaela nodded, looking scared.

"Maybe we should look at setting up a proper archive system between Two and Three." suggested Ianto, "We have separate categories, and while they're both based off One's system, we never integrated them."

"It would be helpful to at least know what was in the Archives of Two." said Toshiko, eyes lighting up at the idea of what could be down there.

"It would also mean we could make sure everything is given the right security. If the Heisenberg Compensator is to never be used, that should have been flagged on the system of Two as well as Three."

"That could take months." warned Archie.

"But that isn't in itself a bad thing. We want the two Torchwoods integrated, don't we? Working together with the system could be a good way of doing it." said Gwen thoughtfully.

"Michaela and I would need to look into what would be involved before we could give any estimate of time." Ianto said carefully.

"Over a century's worth of artefacts, some of which I haven't been able to catalogue." said Michaela.

"Ok, well you two look into that. But what do we want to do about the organisation itself? Should we look into shutting Two down and moving Archie and Michaela here so we're all together. Should we look into expanding Cardiff and having outposts in other places?"

"Aliens are found in other places around the world, not just the UK. That's a lot of outposts." said Archie.

"We could look at working with UNIT to set them up." suggested Ianto reluctantly. "Maybe try to bring the two organisations into a better system. We are meant to be on the same side."

"Yeah, but we've always been rivals, ever since UNIT was founded."

"Well, maybe its time we changed that. If UNIT had been alerted sooner, maybe more people would have survived Canary Warf." said Ianto quietly. Silence fell as they acknowledged this. Archie spoke up after a moment.

"I would worry about the loss of humanity if you build Cardiff into something like London. People were able to compartmentalise what they were doing because they were all in different groups. Here at least no one has illusions about their actions. If we have to torture an alien for information, everyone knows that."

"But being realistic, the chances of any of us reaching your age Archie are slim." said Michaela, "If it's not an alien, it'll be the job itself chasing us to an early grave."

"I'm assuming you have a point there." said Jack.

"I'm just saying that… we need to be prepared for that. I mean, if something happens to one of you, there's no one to replace you, and then you'll have to get someone in and teach them. You're all specialists. Your jobs only overlap when you have to work together to stop an alien issue, otherwise you're all separate."

"You think we should get more people in?" asked Owen.

"If nothing else, it would mean none of you are constantly on the watch. If there's more people, equally trained, then you can take breaks."

"Maybe… but where would it stop? We could expand to the size of London, but like I already said, that could be damaging to the heart of the Torchwood Jack has built." said Archie.

"I think you've both got a point. We're really too small, but we can't risk becoming complacent or cold." said Jack, linking his fingers and pressing them to his chin. "What I do know is we can't go on like this. We need to do something, change something."

"Outposts sounds good." said Toshiko.

"Yeah, but they could become corrupt if they're left to their own devices."

"So don't let that happen." said Gwen.

"Ok, what I want you each to do is go away and think about it. Write down ideas and thoughts and we'll talk next week. This is not going to be easy, but we need to get this organisation back on track." Jack said, satisfied that they were thinking about it. No decision needed to be made today.

They nodded.

"Ok. I think that's enough for now, lets get back to work."

* * *

Remember, reviews and concrit is always welcome and taken into account before I post the next bit.

Night's Darkness


	81. Chapter 77

This one was fun to write, as I can still remember watching the match on TV. Considering how tense my sitting room was that day, I can only imagine how tense the stadium got in those last few minutes. XD

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 77**

_(15__th__ March 2009)_

"Those two are driving me nuts!"

"Calm down Owen. They're just winding you up."

"Aren't they bugging you too Tosh? C'mon, they've been doing nothing but talk in that Irish gobble-de-gook all day."

"It is St. Patrick's Day Owen."

"I don't care, I know they're making fun of me, but I can't prove it!"

"Owen, Ianto's just having a bit of fun with Michaela, let them be."

"… fine. But if Jack pinches me for not wearing green one more time I'm shooting him."

"You know that's not an Irish tradition, right? It's American."

"… HARKNESS!"

* * *

_(21__st__ March 2009)_

"Why are you making me go to this thing?" asked Jack as he held the jersey in front of himself with a wrinkled nose.

"Because we're all going. Think of it as team-bonding, sans cannibals." said Ianto with a grin as he shrugged on his own red jersey. Jack had to admit it looked delicious on him. "C'mon, it's the Six Nations Final match between Ireland and Wales, and its going to determine who gets the Grand Slam or the Triple Crown."

"Ianto I have no idea what that even means."

"Look, it's a big deal. Wales won it last year, we wanna win again. Ireland hasn't won the Grand Slam in 61 years, they're desperate to win. They almost got it last year, but we beat them. This year they want it desperately. They're the favourites, but we've the better record, we've won it 10 times, they've only won it twice. This game is going to be the tensest thing ever."

"I just don't see the appeal of tossing an egg shaped ball around."

"Clearly, Jack, you have never seen a rugby match. If you had I'd say I'd never get you off the pitch."

Jack sighed and gave in, pulling the jersey over his head. It felt smooth against his skin and he squirmed at the chill in the material. Ianto grinned,

"I never thought I'd see you in a rugby jersey! Already this day is going my way."

Jack laughed and kissed Ianto, "I think I might like rugby just for putting you in such a good mood."

Ianto grinned.

"Oi! Losers!"

They both looked around as Michaela called them through the door. "C'mon with you! Ireland's got a match to win."

"We're coming." chuckled Jack.

"And Wales is gonna win it!" said Ianto, opening the door. Michaela smirked at him, dressed in her own green jersey.

"Dream on. We've got O'Driscoll, O'Gara, O'Connell and Stringer."

"We've got Jones, Jones, Rees and Williams!"

"Brian O'Driscoll is the best player in the world right now."

"One great player does not a Grand Slam make!"

"Guys, you're blocking the door!" said Jack as he made 'shooing' motions with his hands to make the two break up their taunting and actually move, "We'll miss this game if you don't move."

They went downstairs and Archie greeted them in the sitting room.

"Archie you traitor!" cried Ianto, "You turncoat!"

"Ah, Scotland played shitly this year, besides which did you think I was gonna support the Welsh?"

Ianto glowered at the head of Torchwood Two, who was wearing his own Irish jersey. Jack grinned as he stood behind Ianto, thinking that this might be a bit of fun after all.

"C'mon you lot! Rhys and Gwen, Owen and Tosh are waiting for us!" called Michaela, already running out the door. Since St. Patrick's Day she had been like a giddy kid about the upcoming match, Ianto having given her the tickets that day. Jack had never seen anyone so excited, and it was rather adorable to watch Ianto wind her up about the chances of Ireland winning. The two of them were like a couple of kids.

Jack was a man who was fully prepared to admit when he was wrong. Ok, maybe not, but he would admit it today.

Rugby was awesome!

All those well built men in shorts, tackling each other, grabbing at each other –why the hell had he avoided this sport?

It was also utterly delightful to watch the people around him. Rhys, Gwen, and Ianto were wearing their red jerseys, Gwen wore a big daffodil on her head, Rhys waved the Welsh flag as high as he could, Ianto led them in belting out 'Hen wlad fy nhadau' and 'Cwm Rhondda' as the crowds picked it up again and again as their team struggled valiantly against their opponent. Michaela, who was sitting between Archie and Jack would leap onto her seat at every moment she could, singing along with the crowd as they sang 'Fields of Athenry' which Jack thought was the strangest choice for a song of encouragement in the world. An Irish flag was draped over her shoulders and Toshiko had painted a shamrock on her cheek for her.

Owen and Tosh were in normal clothes, Owen stubbornly refusing to be associated with either nation when he himself was English, and Toshiko, rather sweetly had refused to take sides, so she held a small Welsh and a small Irish flag in either hand, waving each when appropriate.

"This is a great game!" said Archie to Jack as Michaela jumped up once more with the rest of the Irish.

"I'll take your word for it!" said Jack wryly.

"C'mon Jack, can ye not feel it in the air?"

Jack could. He could feel the almost telepathic bond linking the people around him, as they celebrated their cultures, their heritage, their pride in who they were, expressed through this game instead of through war. He had always been a bit snide about nationalism, unable to forgive it for dividing so many peoples. But as he sat in the stands with this huge crowd of over 70,000 people, and watched them all revel in their own humanity, their own delight, as they sang and chanted and cheered, Jack felt his heart expanding for all these people and the love of life they had. Jack reached out and clasped Ianto's hand for a moment, unable to speak. Ianto gave it a returning squeeze without even looking at him, as if he knew how Jack felt.

There were only about three minutes left on the clock, and there was a throw in. Ireland was going to win, it was very clear. But then something happened and the whistle was blown. The Irish let out a horrified, outraged cry.

"What?" barked Michaela, on her feet yet again. "What? No! What the fuck O'Connell? No!"

Jack had no idea what had just happened as Gwen jumped up and down in her seat crying "YES!" But the Irish certainty had vanished in a heartbeat and the Welsh were all rising up in excitement.

"What happened?" he asked Archie who looked astounded.

"One of the Irish players showed bad sportsmanship, making some smart comment when the Irish got a penalty, so the penalty was turned over and now it's for Wales."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that Wales will take a kick at goal, they're only two points behind and a shot at goal will get them three if it goes in."

"So… if this guy kicks the ball and gets it between the posts, Wales will have won?" asked Jack.

"Yeah… fuck!"

Down on the pitch the Welsh player tasked with taking this momentous kick was setting up. The clock was running down, this kick would be the last play in the game. Jack could not believe just how tense the stadium had become. Ianto was crushing his hand, Gwen was clutching Rhys' arm and Michaela was eating her own fingers. Even Owen and Tosh were tense with anticipation.

The kick was a far one. It was doable for this player, but it was not a certainty. Everyone seemed to inhale as one as he ran forward and kicked. The ball soared into the utterly still, utterly silent air, heading straight for the goals, soaring, soaring, and it started to drop and then–

It was like an explosion had occurred in the stadium, knocking Jack back into his seat as every single Irish person in the stadium rose to their feet and screamed in victory as the ball dropped short and was caught by an Irish player and kicked out of the game.

"YES!" screamed Michaela, throwing her arms around Archie and squeezing him in a death grip. Jack watched as Gwen, Rhys and Ianto sagged in genuine disappointment, but despite his love for the Welsh, Jack found himself grinning as he watched the Irish players run towards the crowds, skidding on their knees across the grass, doing front flips, and embracing each other. The sheer delight was overpowering.

Jack was nearly knocked into Ianto's lap as Michaela tackled him and screamed in his ear with delight. "WE WON! WE WON JACK!"

Jack, half on Ianto's lap, laughed as he hugged her tight. Then, as fast as she had thrown herself at him, Michaela scrambled away and seemed to jump and vanish into the crowd of green as the Irish made their way down the stairs in a mob of cheering to reach their team who were running around the pitch and donning leprechaun hats and Irish flags. It occurred to Jack that the Doctor might enjoy being surrounded by this sort of thing. Next year he would invite him, maybe.

Ianto sighed and rested his head on Jack's shoulder. "Well… as disappointing as that was… it was a fucking great game."

"Ah, c'mon, would you really begrudge this lot their joy?" chuckled Archie, gesturing at the Irish people around them. Ianto grinned, and shook his head.

"Can we go get drunk now?" asked Owen.

"Sure. Where's Michaela?" asked Ianto, clapping Owen on the shoulder.

"Uh… somewhere down there." said Jack, pointing at the mass of green in front of them. As one they all stared down at the crowd which was now singing 'Galway Girl' as the song belted out of the stadiums speakers as the Irish captain accepted the silver cup. Fireworks exploded around the team as they bounced around like little boys and waved to their delighted fans. There was no way to spot Michaela in that mass below.

"Oh crap." said Ianto, summing up what they were all thinking.

"I'm sure she'll come back in a minute. She knows better." said Archie, but he didn't sound sure. Jack reached for his phone, but then left it in his pocket. Michaela would not feel or hear it going off down there.

"We'll wait for the crowd to thin and then go find her. She's probably fine."

Normally Jack was sure none of them would worry, but this was different. Going for walks with a giant guard dog was one thing. It was quite another for Michaela to be swept up in a crowd alone like this.

Ianto's phone beeped and he pulled it out of his pocket, frowning at it. Then he smiled and showed it to Jack.

'_**Meet u by water tower. M xx' **_

Jack grinned. "Ok, apparently she will meet us by the water tower. C'mon now, lets go before the Irish start leaving."

"Doesn't look like they're in a rush." said Owen as they headed for the exit.

"Ah, they'll be thirsty soon enough." said Archie. "Fucking great game. Didn't imagine such a tense ending."

"Bloody unfair!" moaned Gwen, "So close to a two year streak!" She shook her fists in front of her face in despair, even as she grinned. The daffodil on her head was slightly askew. Jack thought she looked beautiful. Rhys had his flag resting on his shoulder, fluttering behind him like a cape.

"Ah well, rather lose to the Irish than anyone else. If we'd lost to Italy I'd have emigrated."

"And I'd have gone with you." said Gwen, cuddling up to Rhys.

"What's wrong with Italy?" asked Jack, now feeling much more interested about the Championship.

"They've never won the six nations. Ever." said Ianto, shaking his head. "They try, but they just haven't done it."

"What about the Scots?"

"We've won the Grand Slam three times and the Triple Crown 10 times."

"So… who's the best team in the Six Nations?"

As one, Gwen, Ianto, Rhys, and Archie all sighed and said, "England."

Owen smirked. "Knew it!"

"They have the most victories. Wales is second." said Ianto, sounding reluctant to admit it.

"… ah."

"Well we invented the sport, didn't we?" smirked Owen, folding his arms.

"No you didn't!" said Rhys as they reached the water tower and stopping. "You just wrote down the rules. That's like saying you invented hunting. It's always been around in some form or another."

Owen was about to respond but a new voice broke in.

"Well, well, well. I never thought I'd see this."

They looked around. P.C. Andy Davidson was standing a short distance from them, in his uniform, grinning widely at them.

"Andy!" called Gwen, smiling at him.

"Hello." said Andy sauntering up to them. "I didn't think Torchwood was into rugby."

"We've three Welsh members, plus an Irish member. We were given no choice." said Owen, putting his arm around Toshiko. Andy chuckled,

"How I wish I had a camera."

"You doing crowd control?" asked Gwen, looping her arm with Rhys.

"Yeah, there was some concern, but so far nothing. I think half the crowd is still inside."

"Sounds about right. I think this city is gonna be green for the night." said Jack, a little surprised that Andy was bothering to talk to them.

"Great, I'm glad I'm not on tonight." Andy shook his head, lifting his cap off and ruffling his hair.

"Do you want to join us for a commiseration drink Andy?" asked Gwen, smiling at him, but clearly feeling awkward. It wasn't as if Andy had ever really chatted with them as a team before. Why he was hanging around now was anyone's guess.

Andy was about to answer, when something tackled Jack from behind and leapt onto his back, squeezing him tight.

"We won!" squealed Michaela in Jack's ear as he caught his balance. "I can't believe we won! 61 feckin' years we've been waiting and we finally won."

Jack laughed as he felt her squeezing his torso and squirming with delight. Michaela kissed his cheek and then leapt off his back, pouncing on Ianto and giving him a hug, kissing his mouth and then bounding away to hug Archie, who lifted her off her feet and span her around. When he set her down Michaela skipped around to face the others, but paused and looked at Andy.

"Andy!" she squealed, then blushed and dropped her chin. Andy flushed and smiled at her.

"Hello Michaela." he said.

Jack's eyes widened as he looked between them.

"You two know each other?" asked Gwen, sounding surprised.

"We met when I was here before…" said Michaela, sounding shy.

"And then we've been… uh, bumping into each other every now and then for the past couple of weeks." said Andy carefully, smiling at Michaela like he couldn't take his eyes off her. Jack could feel Ianto stiffen beside him. "No dog today Michaela?"

Michaela shook her head, blushing red and almost unable to look at Andy. "She doesn't like rugby. More of a hurling dog." she mumbled, smiling to herself. Andy laughed, fiddling with his cap. They both fell quiet, shyly eyeing each other, until Gwen said,

"So, Andy, gonna join us for a drink?"

Andy glanced at Gwen, then looked back at Michaela, who had stuffed her hands in her pockets and was watching him from under lowered eyes.

"Sure. I'd love to. Where're you guys going?"

"Well-"

"Some of the Irish are organising a céilí dance, they said anyone can join in." said Michaela quickly. Andy chuckled,

"Taking advantage of my secret shame, are you?"

Michaela smiled and shrugged, "Well, you did say if the opportunity came, you'd show me your moves."

Andy went red and said, "Yeah… yeah I guess I did."

"The céilí is gonna be near here, in a pub."

"Yeah, I'd heard some group have sorted a party in a nearby pub."

"So… will you come?" asked Michaela, trying not to sound hopeful.

"Well, when I'm off duty? Sure. I'll be done in about two hours. I can come back and meet you there."

Michaela nodded. "Ok. Yeah. See you then."

Andy nodded and shuffled on his feet before walking away, pulling his cap back on his head, glancing back as he did. Jack watched him go and then looked at Michaela who was watching Andy go, that smile on her face and that glint in her eyes. It was now clear that it wasn't Jack or Ianto that she had been daydreaming about, but none other than Andy Davidson.

'_Well, well, well. This could be interesting.'_

Gwen was gaping with shock. Rhys was smirking like he had known all along. Archie, Tosh and Owen were stunned. Ianto did not look so pleased.

* * *

So… did anyone think that Andy was the man in question? What do you think of him as the choice for Michaela?

Also, I'm in the middle of my exams, and I'm feeling the stress, so… can I ask for reviews to keep my spirits up? Or is that just sad?

Night's Darkness


	82. Chapter 78

Hrm, I do believe I did promise an update on Thursday after I finished my exams, but I kinda crashed that day after exams, and then on Friday… yeah, a funny thing happened. I sat down to start posting and found myself typing away and, well, I found myself finishing the fic.

Yes, that's right. I finished it! It is done.

Excuse me while I weep from relief and delight.

I shall restrain myself from over-squeeing until the final chapter is posted, but I had to share my utter shock and delight over this fact.

So including this chapter below, there are going to be six more chapters for this fic.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 78**

_(21__st__ March 2009)_

The pub had been decorated like it was St. Patrick's Day all over again and Guinness was on tap. A small stage for bands now had a sound system ready to play music, with enough room for a group of four or six people to stand.

Rhys bought the first round, making sure Michaela and Ianto only had coke, and then they all looked at Michaela and Gwen said,

"So?"

Michaela flushed and played dumb. "So what?"

"You and Andy! How did that start?"

Michaela blushed deeper and then sipped at her coke. "It's nothing… really."

"C'mon Micka, that was something." said Archie, pushing her drink towards her as if it might get her talking.

Michaela smiled to herself, looking down into the glass. "We… he asked me to coffee, during the Review, and we had fun… and then… about a month ago we bumped into each other as I came out of the hairdressers and… well we went for another coffee."

"And?" probed Gwen, looking gleeful now that the shock had worn off.

"And that's all we've done. Coffee. About… twelve times now."

That meant she'd seen him twice a week every week since the day she had walked in on Jack and Ianto. That was a lot to Jack, who knew how shy Michaela could be. The cute blush on her cheeks reminded him of that. He grinned, recalling the blush on Andy's face that matched Michaela's now. Oh this was just too cute.

"So, do you like him?" asked Gwen, nudging her. Michaela shrugged.

"I dunno. He's nice."

But the smile on her face told Jack she was falling for Andy quickly. He glanced at Ianto who looked rather conflicted. He decided to save him and Michaela from the peppering questions.

"So, Micka, how's this gonna work?" He gestured to the large dance floor.

"I dunno, probably start off with a big of normal dancing and work up to the céilí routines."

"Wait, routines? Seriously?" asked Owen.

"Don't worry, they're never that complicated for a impromptu crowd like this –especially since half of them probably never did any dancing like this in their life."

"How does it work?"

"They'll find a few people who know the steps, get them to demonstrate, everyone picks it up and off we go. It's all very repetitive once you actually get the hang of it."

Owen scowled at the idea.

"Don't worry Owen, you'll be fine."

* * *

As it turned out, that had been a lie.

At least as far as Owen was concerned. After stepping on Tosh's toes for the sixth time, he had thrown his hands up and let Ianto take over. Jack meanwhile was clearly enjoying spinning Michaela around and around on the dance floor every time the man who was chanting the steps in Irish cried, 'Luscha!' or whatever the word was being said. Michaela was hanging on for dear life as they passed their table. Gwen and Rhys were trying to copy Ianto and Tosh in the routines, which were, of course, given in Irish. On the face of it, the routines were simple, but actually doing that damn hoppy step that was its trademark was impossible without feeling like a twat.

The dance ended and the trio returned to the table, out of breath and laughing.

"I'd forgotten how much fun céilís are!" said Jack, pulling Michaela into his lap to cuddle her like a little girl as they caught their breath. "Do you know, I used to go out with Torchwood Four, your uncle included, and we'd dance the night away, just like this. It was brilliant!"

Michaela giggled and reached past Ianto to grab her drink, throwing him a wide grin. Ianto grinned back, the dancing having lightened his mood. Michaela wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed his cheek, knocking his head against hers affectionately. Ianto caught hold of her arm and whispered something in her ear, making her, and an eavesdropping Jack, laugh. Owen had never seen them in such a companionable state, but it made him smile to see it. Maybe the three of them had worked something out between them, or maybe the fact that Michaela had a crush on someone else had let them all relax around each other.

Speaking of which, Andy Davidson appeared at their table as he crossed Owen's mind.

"Hello there." he said, eyes fixed on Michaela.

"Heya!" said Michaela, smiling up at him, as she twisted in Jack's lap to see him. "What's the craic?"

Andy laughed. Owen frowned. Did she just ask him if he had crack on him?

"Not much… looking up now." said Andy, glancing around. Michaela squirmed and Jack released her so she could stand to meet Andy's eyes. "So… you got me to a céilí."

"You brought your shoes?" she asked, smiling brightly.

"Nah, I think just proving I know these bloody steps is bad enough."

"What, you can Irish dance Andy?" asked Gwen in surprise.

"My gran was Irish and she made me and my sisters learn. God save me but I never could forget them."

"Thank Christ, please save me from the amateurs!" said Michaela throwing a grin at Jack. Clearly the victory today had done more for her confidence than any drug had. Owen doubted it would last, but decided to let her enjoy it. She held her hand out tentatively to Andy and Andy took hold of it after dumping his coat on the empty chair in front of him. They stepped onto the floor and went up to the DJ to ask for some song –although so far it had all sounded the same to Owen, so what they could have wanted was beyond him.

Owen spotted Ianto looking sour again and rolled his eyes.

"Ianto, fucking cheer up!"

"I know… I know!" moaned Ianto. "I just… Davidson? Why would she like him?"

"C'mon, the guy's harmless, we know that. You couldn't have asked for a less threatening choice for her to fall for."

"Andy'll look after her." saidGwen with absolute certainty.

Ianto did not look sure, but when Jack put his arms around him, he relaxed and nuzzled Jack's neck. Owen put an arm around Tosh and smiled as she kissed his cheek.

They looked around as the music changed from what had sound like general Irish music, to something that sounded more sophisticated.

"Ok folks, we're gonna try something a little more complicated." said the guy at the microphone, "We've managed to gather a few who actually know how to dance a full Fairy Reel. Let's see what they've got."

"If I'm not wrong that is from 'Lord of the Dance'." Archie said quietly.

"I don't think so Archie." Jack said, peering at the dance floor which was clearing somewhat.

"Oh… my god." uttered Gwen as a six people formed two lines on the floor, three couples. Michaela and Andy were in the middle, one of the other couples being a little older and the other a little younger. As Owen watched, Michaela took a deep breath and took hold of the men's hands on either side of her, bringing them up so their hands were about shoulder height. Andy glanced at her shyly, smiling to himself as he did the same with the women.

"Are we ready lads?" asked the man with the microphone. "Ok then! A haon, a dó, a trí!"

The six of them started to dance, stepping in and out and at first it was much the same as the stuff the crowds had been doing. But then they formed a circle and then broke apart and started dancing around each other, in a wide circle. Then Michaela took hold of the younger boy's hand and they started to dance in a circle on the spot while Andy did the same with the younger girl. The older two dance on their own and then they reformed the lines. Then they started to move in a strange interlocking way around each other that made Owen's head hurt as he wondered how they did it so well without crashing into one another. Around him people were clapping to the beat and cheering as the lines reformed again, then Michaela and Andy moved forward, linked their arms and started dancing in a circle. Their eyes were fixed on one another's, even when they changed direction and broke apart. The group danced on in more complicated arm loops and side steps, finally coming to a stop in a circle, holding hands again. Andy and Michaela were openly staring at each other as the crowd cheered them, both breathing hard and flushed. Owen was startled at the mature desire on both their childish faces.

"And that-" said Jack laughing as he clapped, "Is why I love Céilidhs!"

* * *

Two hours later Jack and Ianto stepped outside for some air. The Irish were still dancing up a storm inside and the heat being generated was almost suffocating. Jack slipped his hand into Ianto's and pulled him closer so he could kiss him. Ianto leaned in and kissed him back, then pulled away and murmured against his lips,

"Wanna go back home?"

Jack smiled at how Ianto referred to his house as their home. But he shook his head.

"I don't think so."

"Why not? Is it because I've been sulking? Because if it is I'm sorry. I know that's not fair, it just caught me off guard today." said Ianto, looking genuinely repentant.

"That's not it. Well, not exactly." Jack took Ianto's hands and brought them up to kiss the fingers gently. "Look, I don't doubt how you feel about me, ok? We've been through way too much for me to doubt it. But you need to sort this out with Michaela, and fast, before she gets caught up with Andy or whoever else she falls for."

"I know, I know, but I have no idea how to bring it up."

"I can't tell you the right way to do this Ianto. All I know is that you need to do it, and do it soon."

Jack leaned in and kissed him again, "Look, I'm gonna sleep in the Hub tonight, you go and talk to Michaela. If you don't come in in the morning I'll know you and her are… well. Let me know when you two have sorted things out… whatever you have decided."

"Are you sure?" asked Ianto quietly, reaching out to clasp Jack's head.

"Until you two sort each other out, you and I are stuck." Jack smiled and kissed Ianto's brow. "It's ok. Really. Don't worry about me."

Ianto swallowed hard and buried his face in Jack's neck, holding him close. "I don't deserve you."

Jack chuckled, "Yes you do."

Ianto pulled back and kissed him hard. When they pulled apart, Ianto murmured, "All I want right now is to take you home."

Jack smiled, "I know. But for us, I need you to go home with Micka and see where you stand. Please."

Ianto sighed and nodded, squeezing Jack tight, then stepping back, feeling afraid that if he let go of Jack, he would never be able to get him back. Jack smiled affectionately.

"C'mon Ianto, at most it's only for a few days. Don't look so scared."

Ianto took in a deep shuddering breath, and nodded. Jack pulled away and started walking towards the Plass. Ianto swallowed again and hurried back in before he chased after Jack. He glanced around, spotting Tosh and Owen kissing enthusiastically, Gwen and Rhys giggling near the bar… and Michaela leaning in to kiss Andy on the lips, then ducking away, looking astounded at her own daring. Andy flushed pink and grinned stupidly, his arm snaking around her shoulders so he could pull her closer to him and kiss her again.

A bolt of jealousy shot through Ianto's belly, and he narrowed his eyes, wanting to punch Andy. Then he reeled back, angry at himself. He had just parted from Jack, had been upset to see him leave, and now he wanted to basically piss on Michaela's leg to mark his territory.

'_Jack's right. I need to sort this out.'_

* * *

Reviews will be deeply appreciated as we actually make our way to the end of this fic. Especially in relation to anything that you're wondering about in terms of resolution. I don't think anything has been forgotten, but if you're wondering about something and I haven't thought of it, I will see if I can work it in.

Also, big thanks to all who gave me well wishes for my exams. I really appreciated it!

Night's Darkness


	83. Chapter 79

These next three chapters are really one chapter but I decided to break it up. I was going to post a few days ago, but needed to go over it again. I'm sure this is not what some people wanted to happen, but I stand by it, and I hope that you enjoy it either way.

Oh! And a warning for smut.

* * *

**Chapter 79**

_(21__st__ March 2009)_

Ianto drove Michaela back to his house, his stomach turning as he wondered how the hell he was meant to broach this subject. He glanced out of the corner of his eye at Michaela and she too looked contemplative. She had bid Andy a quiet and happy farewell, but now seemed as troubled as Ianto.

The drive was completely silent, neither of them speaking as they reached the house, and entered the hall. Michaela greeted Dubhtach, scratching behind her ears as she went into the kitchen. Ianto heard her put the kettle on. He put his coat away and shuffled after her, biting at his lower lip.

Michaela was leaning back against the counter, watching him as he came in. Ianto swallowed and said quietly,

"Andy was the one you had coffee with that night I… said what I said."

"Yes." she replied, her face unreadable. "Does that make you feel any better about how you reacted?"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw the look on your face. You don't think much of him. Same reaction the team has with the police."

"I… I guess Torchwood has made me snobby." Ianto admitted, scratching the back of his head. "And, well, c'mon, you caught me off guard with this whole thing, I mean you never mentioned him."

Michaela raised an eyebrow at him, "The last time I mentioned him you lost your shit and threw a glass at the wall. I thought caution was the best thing, besides, I barely know what this is or where it's going, so I didn't want to say anything when I knew you guys would get all anxious and worried and interfering."

"We just want to look out for you."

"I know. And… I'm learning to accept it, even appreciate it. But I don't need someone hovering over my shoulder at the beginning of what might just be the first normal relationship I have ever had."

"I get that."

Michaela nodded and the kettle switched off as it boiled. She turned away and started making tea. As she poured the water over the teabags in the pot, she spoke again,

"I think we need to talk. About… well, us."

Ianto blinked, caught off guard. "Oh?"

"Yeah. In fact," she turned back to him. "I'm glad Jack got called away, or whatever. It means you and I can talk for a bit, without him eavesdropping."

"Jack didn't get called away." said Ianto, smiling wryly.

"Oh?"

"No. He's staying in the Hub so you and I can… well, have the very talk you want to have."

"Oh." Michaela pursed her lips, "Guess that worked out ok then."

"So it would seem."

"So… what did you wanna say?" she asked, folding her arms nervously.

"You started it. You go first." saidIanto, stomach rolling with nerves now.

"Ok… uh… I…" Michaela fumbled for words and then threw up her hands in frustration. "I don't really know where to start."

Ianto waited, urging her to speak. Finally, she did.

"I feel that there's something between us that was never resolved. And… and its been growing stronger ever since I –ever since I walked in on you and Jack."

Ianto flushed.

"Can I tell you a secret?" asked Michaela, looking ashamed. Ianto nodded, hardly daring to breath. Cheeks flushed red, Michaela dropped her eyes, "That day, when I saw you and Jack… it was the first time I've ever noticed how hot you are."

Ianto frowned, not entirely sure on what to say to that. But Michaela plunged on so fast he would hardly have gotten a word in anyway. "I mean, I always knew you were good looking –and that made me so nervous at first because Blaine had been such a good looking guy and look what happened there –but when I saw you together it was the first time I thought… well I thought that you were hot. I… I wanted you right then and there when I saw you that day."

"But… you never did before?"

"No. I… I never wanted you like I did then… like I do now. It's like… it's like all of a sudden this backlog of desire is inside me and, and to be honest there are times when it's all I can do not to jump you. I have never wanted to jump anyone before but you… I… and, and I feel like such a tramp because a part of me wants to do that right now, but I just left a really sweet, cute guy who I kissed and cuddled up to for half an hour, and I don't know what to do."

Ianto stared at Michaela, who finally looked up at him, eyes burning with a mixture of desire and fright.

"I know what you mean." he croaked, "I want you, but I'm jealous of you wanting Jack, and that makes me a hypocrite…"

"It's not right for me to want you when I want Andy too. But I… I'm scared about Andy… I'm not scared of you."

"I flip from wanting you, to wanting Jack and you as far apart as possible, to dreaming about the three of us together, and I don't know what I really want. And tonight when I was with Jack, and we were actually acting like a normal couple, all I could do was stew over you and Andy."

Michaela snorted and shook her head, "We're a fucked up pair."

"Yes, yes we are. I think the anti-depressants proved that, don't you?"

"So what do we do about it? We can't keep doing this, can we?"

"Well… Jack… one of the reasons Jack isn't here hiding in another room, is because… because he kinda thinks that we, you and me, should… have sex."

"Jack thinks?"

"Ok, it has been on my mind, but I guess to Jack, since he knows about it and understands it's not just for a laugh –I mean, I think we might need to do something like that to move forward."

"Move forward?"

Ianto stepped forward eagerly, excited by the way she was listening to him. "We never really gave ourselves a chance. Sex was just mechanical between us-"

"I tried-"

"I know but I think that, maybe we need to actually have sex, make love, and really find out what we have between us."

"But that'd be cheating."

"You're not going out with Andy fully yet, are you?"

"I, I dunno."

"And Jack said it's ok for him if it's just with you. So that's not cheating."

"Are you sure we're not just being selfish?" she asked, biting her lip. "I mean… this just seems really bad. You have a great guy and you want to fuck me?"

"Not fuck, never fuck. Have sex, make love, but not fuck." said Ianto firmly, reaching out and cupping her cheek. "Michaela, if we really want to set ourselves right…"

Closing her eyes, Michaela covered Ianto's hand, "I want you in a way I've never wanted anyone before-"

"What about Jack?"

"Jack… Jack was like a tidal wave. I got swept up by him and taken for a fantastic ride. But… to be honest, since I know you and him are serious… and the more I've been thinking about it… what I want from Jack is more like what I get from Rhys. I want to curl up in Jack's lap like he was holding me earlier."

"I thought you wanted to sleep with him."

"So did I. But… ever since I saw you two, I'm starting to realise I was equating sex with care in Jack, and I guess I thought if I wanted one I had to accept the other."

"Jack has that effect on people." Ianto admitted, "He has a way of making you feel safe… but you know he would as soon as just hold you for a while as anything else?"

"I'm starting to realise that. When he stayed with me that night, I realised even though he had not done what I asked, I was getting what I needed from him."

"So… you don't fancy Jack anymore?"

"I dunno… can anyone not fancy Jack?"

Ianto chuckled, acknowledging the truth in that statement. "True." He licked his lips nervously and asked, "What about me?"

Michaela flushed, looking down, "You… I still want you, I think. But I don't want to fuck up any more lives."

"We won't. But we owe it to ourselves, to each other, to what we have, and to the people we're with now, to see what we really have, don't we?" said Ianto, himself wondering if he was just being selfish. "I don't think I can be with Jack properly until I know… until I know you and I are ok. And if we don't do this, how will we ever be ok? Won't we always wonder what it might have been like?"

"But what if we find out that we're good together?"

"Then… we make the most of it for whatever time we take."

"I… I don't know if I can do that."

"Do you like Andy?"

"Yeah. He's sweet."

"And I love Jack. But until I know where we are, I can't be with Jack properly."

"I… I don't… I don't know if I'll be able to focus on being with Andy if I'm around you without… without knowing. And… it's been so long. I don't want it weighing on my mind when I'm around Andy. I… I want to want him, not be afraid of what'll happen if we ever…"

Looking up at Ianto, Michaela sighed, "Those aren't good reasons to have sex, are they? We just want to get each other out of our systems."

"Maybe not, but there are worse reasons."

"I suppose…"

The heat of Michaela's skin against Ianto's was sending tingles up his body, and he felt like a damn about to burst. Something, anything, had to give.

Michaela made the decision for them, leaning forward and catching Ianto's mouth with hers, kissing him gently, and burying her fingers in his hair. Ianto wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her flush against him, one hand pressing into the small of her back, the other catching her head and tilting it up. The sensation of her softer breasts against his hard chest was both familiar and a little different after so long with a man. He groaned into her mouth, reaching down and grabbing her hips. She leaned back and hopped as he lifted her up onto the kitchen counter, legs wrapping around his hips.

Ianto pulled away from her mouth to start kissing down her neck, inhaling the scent of apples, a smell that made him grin. Michaela made a soft noise of delight and shifted her hips closer to his, latching on to his ear and sucking on it. Ianto's legs nearly buckled under the shock and pleasure.

"Ouch!" yelped Michaela.

"What, what?" heasked, pulling back. Michaela was holding her arm aloft scowling at it.

"Bloody kettle's still hot!" she complained, showing him a patch of skin that was turning pink. Ianto caught her wrist to check it, then caught her eyes. They both dissolved into giggles and Michaela kissed the tip of Ianto's nose. Wrinkling said nose, Ianto kissed the pink mark on her skin. The skin there was smooth and soft, so he started kissing his way down it, pausing at the elbow and glancing at Michaela, who was watching him with wide eyes. He pulled away from her arm and kissed her with closed lips. Michaela relaxed into him and reached up to clasp his head in her hands, cradling it gently.

Ianto pulled back and stared at her, waiting. Michaela kissed the tip of his nose again, and then started pressing kisses to his brow, cheeks, chin, jaw, eyelids and forehead. It felt tender and sweet, and Ianto wanted to do nothing else but sink into her.

"Mmm… you smell good." she whispered into his skin. Ianto swallowed, and took her hands, letting her pop off the counter and leading her upstairs, heading for his bedroom. "Isn't that a bit, um, wrong?" she asked coming to a stop. "That's where you and Jack-"

"It's fine." said Ianto reassuringly, tugging on her hands and leading her to the bed. Michaela looked unsure for a moment, but then looked up at him and seemed to forget about the bed completely. It was like Ianto was the only thing in the world for her. That look, those eyes watching him so openly, made Ianto sink to his knees in front of her. He took hold of her Irish jersey and pulled it upwards. Michaela took the hint and pulled it over her head, tossing it aside and bent down to kiss him again. Ianto moaned and started kissing down her neck, hands sliding up her sides to find her bra, sliding to the back. Michaela caught his hands and pulled him away. Disappointment flooded Ianto as he realised maybe some things would never change.

Michaela stepped back from him and stared at him, kneeling on the floor in front of her, and took in a shuddering breath. She reached for the front of her bra and unhooked it, pulling it apart and letting it slip off her shoulders. Her hands shook with nerves as she dropped the bra to the side and stood there, watching his face. Ianto had never seen her so bare before, the fear bright in her eyes.

"Y-your turn." she said quietly, hands twitching as she fought the urge to cover herself. Ianto sat back on his heels and pulled his Welsh jersey off and threw it next to her green one. He reached out for her, and she accepted his hand, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, sinking to the ground on her knees, straddling his lap. Ianto slid his hands up her body, from her hips and upwards. Michaela bit her lower lip, and buried her face in Ianto's neck as his hands ran over her curves, shuddering violently at his touch.

"Ok?" he asked quietly.

"Yes." she mumbled, "It's just…"

"Different?"

She chuckled into his skin, "Yeah. Could say that."

Ianto peppered her shoulder with kisses, then pushed up and lifted her up into his arms and shuffling to the bed, laying her down as he kissed her again. Michaela clung to him like a limpet, biting at his lower lip and digging her fingers into his back. Her hips rocked against his, and Ianto moaned loudly as his trousers started to become too tight. Michaela seemed to read his mind, reaching down and undoing his trousers, opening them up and easing them over his hips, along with his pants. Ianto shivered at the cool air as he sprang to attention. He shimmied his hips to make the trousers fall to his feet and kicked them away, while licking his way down her neck, and over the swell of her breast. Michaela made a soft gasp in the back of her throat, arching her back, her hands falling away from his back, resting above her head. Ianto wished he had turned the light on, he had never seen her like this and wanted to appreciate it.

"What's wrong?" she asked, looking up at him curiously.

Ianto smiled, realising he had stopped kissing her to stare at her.

"Nothing… just admiring you."

He felt rather than saw her blush. "Oh…" She reached out and clasped his face, pulling him up to kiss him. Ianto could feel the way she was trying to pour her desire, her affection, into that kiss, and he relaxed into it with delight, shifting sideways and pulling her with him onto their sides.

Arms wrapped around each other, they kissed slowly, hands stroking skin, noses bumping as they seemed to worship each other in the silent room. Finally Ianto reached down and opened her jeans, hooking one finger into her pants, he pulled them away from her skin and slipped his other hand inside, catching her off guard as he smoothed past the triangle of hair, and tickled her.

"Ah!" she squealed, head tilting back, and legs shifting apart to give him better access. Ianto grinned and gently rubbed against the sensitive skin, massaging around the nub that he could feel was swelling to his touch. "Oh God…" she whimpered, reaching down to grab at his hand, whether to help him or stop him, he doubted she even knew. Ianto caught her hand and gently pulled it away catching her wrists and holding them in a firm grip. Her breathing hitched and her eyes opened, a slight twinge of fear in them.

"Ianto-"

"Let me, please." he murmured, letting her hands go and slipping his arm under her and holding her close. "Let me touch you the way I've always wanted. Let me make you feel good."

The idea seemed to make her more nervous, but she nodded, closing her eyes. Ianto gently tugged her jeans and pants down to her knees and she slowly dragged them off with her feet. Now Ianto rolled her onto her back again and sat up, feeling her eyes on his erection as he leaned down and took her left breast into his mouth, while his fingers tickled at her sex again, pressing and teasing, taking his time. Michaela's mouth was open in a silent moan, back arching involuntarily, fingers digging into the sheets of the bed. Ianto made his way down her belly, leaving a small trace of spittle as he went, his hand replacing his mouth on her breast. When he kissed her sex for the first time Michaela's hips jerked so hard she nearly hit his nose with her pelvis.

"Fuck!"

Ianto laughed, reaching up to clasp her hips, "Mind! You nearly broke my nose there."

"S-sorry." she stuttered, now quivering with arousal, her legs falling open for him. Ianto chuckled again, and held her hips carefully this time as he kissed her again. He wanted to draw this out as long as he could, drive her mad with pleasure, until she stopped thinking and just enjoyed. After a few minutes he really had to hold onto her hips as she thrashed and squirmed, moaning so loudly Ianto was pretty sure his neighbours could hear her. "Ianto, please!"

"Please what, hm?

"Please, d-do something, anything. I can't- I can't-"

Ianto lifted himself up and climbed up her body, kissing her hard. She kissed him back, almost attacking his mouth, legs wrapping around his hips, trying to encourage him to get on with it. One of her hands wrapped around his cock and stroked him, catching him off guard.

"Oh God –fuck!" hissed Ianto, clenching his eyes shut as he tried to keep himself under control. "'kaela…"

"Ianto…" she replied, biting his ear. Ianto laughed, delighted by her playfulness, but he pulled his hips away as she tried to guide him to enter her.

"Wait."

Michaela groaned in frustration, "Ianto-"

"Condom." he reminded her. Michaela's eyes fluttered open and seemed to clear of some of their lusty haze. She stared up at him in surprise, as if she had never seen him before.

"Oh… oh yes." she murmured. "Condom."

She had forgotten all about it, Ianto knew, but it was clear she was caught off guard by this realisation. After all, she had always been urgently, almost pestering, insistent about them. Blaine had never given her a choice, so she had always been hyper vigilant about it. But now Ianto had reduced her to such pleasure, she had forgotten all about it.

Ianto kissed her gently, reassuringly, "I didn't forget." he promised her. Michaela gave a nervous smile, nodding, clearly still reeling from her realisation. Ianto reached out and pulled open the drawer finding a small foil wrapper and pulling it out. He held it out to her. "Help me?"

She nodded and took the wrapper, ripping it open and pulling out the small rubber. She stared at it for a moment, then looked up at Ianto,

"Lie back." she murmured, voice shaking a little. Ianto did as she said, lying back on the pillows. Michaela gave herself a little shake and then crawled to his side. Hesitating for a moment, she looked up and met Ianto's eyes. He smiled at her, reassuringly. Returning the gesture Michaela took in a deep breath. Then she leaned down and took the tip of his cock into her mouth.

"Christ!" Ianto yelled. Michaela pulled back, glancing up at his face shyly. Ianto stared at her in utter shock, mind hazy. A smirk spread over her face and she licked the head, like it was an ice-pop. "Uh… oh… oh god!" he shouted. Never in a million years would he have imagined that this-

And then she took him in as deep as she could. Ianto's brain went white as he came hard, hips bucking, voice cracking as he cried out. As he returned to his body, he lifted his head, feeling sluggish. Michaela was still kneeling at his hip, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"I guess we don't need this anymore." she said quietly, smiling ruefully, holding up the latex still in her hand. Ianto was utterly speechless. Reaching out he grabbed her arm and dragged her to him so he could kiss her. When he pulled back, he said,

"Hold on to it, and lie on your back."

She did, head resting on the pillows. Ianto leaned over and kissed her brow, working his way to her lips and then her chin.

"That was unfair." he murmured against her neck, "You could have given me some warning. But as they say, turnabout is fair play."

Michaela whimpered as he made his way down her body again before settling between her legs. She watched him with wide eyes and he smirked, giving her no warning before he pushed two fingers inside her and licking at her nub. Within minutes she was all but shouting with need, holding onto the headboard, open and wanton for him. Not for Jack, not for Andy Davidson, for _**him**_.

Something primal growled inside Ianto's head and he quickly stroked himself to full mast again, -he had to have her _now_! Ianto reached out and plucked the condom from her hand with his free one, rolling it on quickly as he reduced his licks to gentle kisses, then moving back up her body, he grabbed her thigh and held on to it as he reached out and grabbed her chin, making her meet his eyes. He was thrilled to see her desire and excitement and lust making her eyes bright and was even happier when she nodded urgently, shifting her hips to meet his. He smiled down at her, and she smiled at him as he gently, but insistently, pushed inside her. Michaela threw her head back and pushed her hips up, taking him in completely. She wasted no time in getting used to him, locking her ankles against his back and thrusting up to meet him.

"Ianto, please." she whimpered, sweat sticking her hair to her face, eyes bright as she pulled at his shoulders. Ianto wrapped an arm around her back, lifting her up, and supporting himself with his other arm, he held her tight as he thrust his hips, not bothering to hold back, especially when Michaela cried out encouragement to him and clutched him tight. He knew it would not be long before –

"Ianto, I, I -" was the only warning Michaela gave before her spine stiffened and her walls convulsed around him as she let out a long, low wordless cry. The feeling of her –_finally_– clenching around him in orgasm pushed Ianto over the edge and he moaned into her neck, clinging on for dear life as his brain short-circuited again.

When Ianto finally came back to himself he was surprised to feel Michaela running her hands over his back tenderly, and crying into his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he mumbled, feeling wrung out.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed.

"Sorry?"

"I'm so sorry." she repeated. "I… All those times we were –and I-"

She could say no more, dissolving into tears on his shoulder, running her hands all over his body, his cock still inside her, her legs locked around his. Ianto found himself smiling grimly, understanding what she was saying. He stroked her damp hair soothingly, rolling them onto their sides and kissing her nose.

"Sshh…" he murmured, "No more regrets about then. We're here now. Let's make the most of it, ok?"

Michaela sniffed and nodded, clearly too worn to argue. Ianto gently pulled away from her, tied and threw away the condom, and then softly coaxed her into the bed, climbing in next to her and pressing his chest against her back, wrapping her in his arms and holding her tight. As Michaela's breathing evened out in sleep, Ianto thought of Jack and how Jack's kindness had allowed him to have this time with Michaela, and how he would never have gotten this if he and Owen had not revealed their fraternity, and finally made an effort to get along.

Now, at this moment in his life, Ianto had everything he could have wanted.

Now, for the first time in his life, Ianto felt content.

* * *

More tomorrow, I promise.

Night's Darkness


	84. Chapter 80

Well… I pretty much got the reaction I was expecting. Some liked it, others hated it, some even gave up on the fic. I'm not surprised. I knew I was risking putting people off with the last chapter, and I'm afraid this one is in a similar vein. So… consider yourselves warned, and I do hope you enjoy it.

* * *

**Chapter 80**

_(22__nd__ March 2009)_

When Ianto awoke it was only just beginning to get light. He was about to wonder why his alarm hadn't gone off when he remembered yesterday and why instead of Jack's hands on his hips and a roasting hot body behind him, he had red hair draped over his chest, and a smaller body curled up against his side. He smiled and dropped a kiss on Michaela's head, wrapping his arms around her, squeezing her close. Of course that was enough to rouse her and it definitely took her longer to recall the events of last night considering how badly she jumped as she became fully awake. She looked up at him with wide eyes and he smirked at her.

"No, you're not deluded."

Michaela narrowed her eyes and then thumped him on the chest, "Not funny." she groused, then rubbed her face, smearing what was left of her green shamrock. Yawning she seemed to try to rise, but then gave up and slumped back onto him. "Mmm… comfy."

"What? Me?"

"Yup. You're comfy." she murmured, nuzzling into his hairy chest. Her bent knee slipped over his thigh as she shifted closer. "Very comfy." she reiterated as she seemed to doze off again. Ianto chuckled and closed his eyes again, drifting off in a half-sleep where he dreamt of strange things, but knew he was dreaming. He awoke again to find Michaela emerging from the loo, the flush having woken him. She had not put any clothes on and for the first time in the six years Ianto had known her, he saw her naked in the daylight. He sighed as he smiled,

"Oh that's a nice look for you."

In a heartbeat her face was bright red. "Sure." she mumbled, hurrying back to the bed and clambering in. "Lemme in, s'cold."

"So are your toes!" complained Ianto as her feet touched his leg. He pulled it away.

"Oh really?" she drawled, arching an eyebrow. Then her feet came and pressed against Ianto's calf again.

"Cold!" yelped Ianto, squirming away.

"Aww, big baby can't handle the cold?" cooed Michaela, grabbing his arms and pulling him back. The next thing Ianto knew they were not-quite wrestling on the bed, which very quickly descended into rubbing against each other as Ianto pinned Michaela under him and started kissing her neck. "That tickles!"

"Vengeance is mine!" cried Ianto ridiculously as he licked a strip up her neck. Michaela laughed, the laugh becoming a moan as Ianto sucked on her neck…

* * *

Two hours later they went into the kitchen to feed the pets after Dubhtach had bounded in and basically smacked Ianto's bare arse with her paw, right when they were in the middle of a second morning round.

"I thought she was trained!" complained Ianto as they came down the stairs. The sight of Dubhtach's teeth so near his crotch had made his balls try to jump back into his body when she had hit him.

"Doesn't mean she doesn't get hungry. Beside's which I'm hungry too. Aren't you? We barely ate yesterday."

Ianto was hungry, but he was still feeling miffed at the dog. So he refused to let Dubhtach get any of their food, making her stick with her own Pedigree. The humans had a brunch of sausages and eggs and bacon, sharing a plate cheerily until a problem arose.

"That is my sausage!"

"No, it's mine."

They glared at each other. Then Ianto smirked, "How about a trade?"

"Trade?"

"Yeah, you give me the sausage-"

"Don't you get enough sausage in your life?" she quipped.

"-and I'll do something for you." continued Ianto, trying not to laugh.

"Like what?"

"Well… you seemed to like what I was doing with my tongue yesterday."

Green eyes widened in intrigue. "So… you're selling sex for sausages?"

"Oral sex. It'd cost more for full on sex."

"What, two sausages?"

"More than that. More like three sausages, a fried egg and some toast."

Michaela arched an eyebrow at him. "I think that's a bit much… I mean, you're good but I don't think you're worth a fried egg. For a fried egg I'd better be guaranteed three orgasms."

"I can guarantee you four for a fried egg."

Michaela frowned. "I honestly can't figure out if I'm horny or hungry now."

Ianto furrowed his brow in thought for a moment, then, "Me neither."

They both dissolved into giggles. Michaela pushed her hair out of the way and said,

"How about we split the sausage?"

"Lengthways or widthways?"

"It's all about girth Ianto, you know that."

Ianto bit his lip so he didn't snort into the plate. He grinned at her and saw the way she smiled back at him. There was contentment in her face, matching his own. She looked relaxed, happy. So Ianto smiled at her and said,

"Y'know what? You have it all."

She grinned, "Really?"

"Yup." Ianto picked the sausage up and offered her it. With a snigger, Michaela bit into it and made a noise of pleasure.

"Yum!" She took the second half, her lips touching his fingers as she pulled it in. Ianto found the gesture obscenely funny and burst out laughing, leaning back in his chair. "You are such a kid!" complained Michaela, around a mouthful of meat. Ianto giggled even harder. "Stop laughing," she ordered, finally swallowing and smacking his leg. "I mean it! Quit!"

"Make me sausage girl." jeered Ianto, barely daring to believe he had just said this to her. Michaela stared at him hard for a moment, face frozen with laughter. Ianto wondered if he should have restrained himself. They were still finding themselves. Maybe he had gone too far. Then Michaela straightened her back and stood up, walking past him, and cuffing him on the head.

"Says the sausage boy." she retorted, picked up the teapot and poured herself a fresh cup. Ianto knew he had been forgiven, but he also knew to take it easy on that kind of joke. He had to remind himself that only a little while ago, Michaela had been calling herself a whore. Such thoughts were bound to leave a sting behind. He rose to his feet and went to her, putting his arms around her waist, which was beginning to thicken with good food, and rested his chin on her shoulder. He said nothing, just held her and inhaled the smell of her hair, the smell of sex that was heavy in the straight locks. She leaned back into him, reaching behind him and pressing her hand against his back, pulling him close. Ianto smiled and nuzzled into her neck, kissing her skin. Michaela sighed in pleasure and her hand slipped lower, brushing his arse carefully. Ianto closed his eyes and gently sucked on her neck. Michaela's other hand slipped between them and rubbed his stomach, before trailing down to his crotch, rubbing gently. Ianto moaned into her skin, hips twitching. Her hand moved up again, thumb brushing over his belly button.

"This'd be easier if we were facing." she murmured, rocking her hips back against his. Ianto's hand slid down to cup her bum, grinning as she gasped.

"Maybe…" he replied, "But then again…"

His other hand slid around to her front, slipping inside her dressing gown. "I quite like this…"

Michaela's head fell back onto his shoulder, closing her eyes. "Mmm…"

Sucking gently on her neck, Ianto let his hands tease and explore, grinning at the noises she was making. Soon she was clutching his neck with her arm to stay upright, whimpering in his ear. Ianto was sure she was close, and kissed her on the mouth. Then-

"Ow!"

A sharp stinging pain shot up from his foot and he jerked, kicking out. He saw a small black ball go flying across the kitchen floor, skidding to a stop as it bumped into the bottom of the counter. Ianto stared at the fluff-ball in astonishment and alarm, until Bart looked up and gave him a dirty look, before hopping off.

"Bloody brat!" growled Ianto. He looked back to Michaela, who turned in his grip. "Hey, we weren't done."

"Mmm… but you've lost your breeze." she purred, actually purred. Ianto's eyes widened as she bit her lower lip and started gently pushing him backwards, hands on his hips. "We'll have to rectify this, won't we?"

"Duh…" was all Ianto could say as she pulled his tracksuit bottoms down and then pushed him into sitting down on the kitchen chair. Using his bottoms as a cushion, Michaela knelt in front of him, stroking his belly. "'kaela…" he sighed, "You don't have to…"

"Doesn't mean I can't though, right?" she asked, looking up at him with a mixture of uncertainty and playfulness. Ianto shook his head,

"No, no. You… honestly right now you could do whatever you wanted to."

Michaela slowly licked her lips and smirked wide at him, "Excellent."

* * *

"How could you not like it?"

"It's disgusting!"

"It was your idea!"

"That was until I realised what episode we would be watching."

"Oh come on Ianto, it wasn't that bad."

"It was a statue of the Virgin Mary shitting blood on people. Gross!"

"No, didn't you pay attention, it wasn't coming from her arse. It was coming from her vagina, so it didn't count as a miracle."

"… South Park's fucking nuts."

"It's brilliant!"

"You just say that because it rips on the Catholic Church so much and you hate them."

"It rips on a lot of things I hate."

Ianto snorted, shaking his head. Michaela shifted from her place nestled between him and the couch and lay on top of him as she tapped his nose,

"C'mon, admit it. You like it too."

Ianto sighed and caught her hand, kissing it, "Ok, yes. I do like it. But that was gross!"

"It's South Park, it's what it does best."

"What episode's on next?"

"Dunno. Have to see after the ads."

The doorbell went and Ianto groaned, "The pizza's here."

"So go get it."

"You go."

"No you!"

"You're on top of me, you have to move to let me get up so you might as well get up."

"But _I_ am still naked."

"… damn."

* * *

_(23__rd__ March 2009)_

"So… when exactly are they gonna send a search party for us?"

"Dunno, Jack said he'd give us a few days."

"Wonder how he explained our absence."

"Oh I'd say that the others can figure it out for themselves."

"…"

"What?"

"Nothing. Just… just don't really feel comfortable about everyone knowing that we're… y'know."

"After everything they've seen I doubt this will phase them."

"I don't care about that! I just… they're not gonna approve."

"Why not?"

"Well, because! How're your friends gonna react to us doing this while your boyfriend doesn't even get to come home? How's Gwen gonna react to me screwing behind her friend's back? What about Archie? He's not gonna like it either."

"Will you relax? It's none of their business."

"Tell them that!"

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I need a shower."

"Wait, come on, we're not-"

"I just want a shower Ianto!"

"…"

"… I'll be back in a bit."

"Ok."

* * *

Ianto had never spent such a long time naked before. It struck him that maybe humans thought of their clothing the way an animal did its fur, and thus, being bare still felt somehow wrong. He wondered if sheep felt this vulnerable when they were sheared.

They were having a competition to see who could last the longest before they needed to dress. Staying warm with a blanket did not count, it was about the insecure need to put the body back into the confines of underwear to restrict the lower regions –in Ianto's case- and reign in the upper body –in Michaela's case. Ianto figured he would win, Michaela was getting annoyed without her bra on.

"I don't know why they keep bothering me! They're always there." she complained, sighing as Ianto ducked his head to suck at the left one.

"Yes they are." he chuckled around her flesh, "Believe me, I've never seen you without them."

She swatted his head lightly. "You don't realise how much they move without a bra until you start a daft competition with a friend." she continued. Ianto noted her use of the word 'friend' as he moved on to the right breast. "Don't you feel unbalanced without briefs?"

Ianto lifted his head long enough to smirk at her, "Clearly not as much as you do without a bra."

"No fair." she sulked as Ianto took a hold of her hand and pulled her with him so she was straddling him. He was already wearing a condom, so it was a simple matter of her sinking onto him. "So many women want bigger boobs, they must plan on wearing a bra at all times," she continued, undulating her hips. "I mean, look at how much they move!"

"I'm looking." grinned Ianto, cradling her hips as they moved at an almost lazy pace. "I like it."

"Well good for you." she drawled, leaning forward a little and resting her hands on his chest, "You don't carry them around all the time."

"They'd look odd above a cock. I'd look like a mid-op transsexual."

"Or just one of those people from Caligula."

"The Malcolm McDowell film that's got Shakespearean actors next to porn stars?"

"That's the one."

"Wait…" Ianto caught her hip and held her still for a moment, "You've watched that?"

Michaela smirked, "You really don't give me enough credit. I may have still been a virgin at 17 –doesn't mean I hadn't been exposed to some weird shit."

Ianto raised his eyebrows, then barked out a laugh. "You still surprise me 'kaela."

"Keeps you on your toes Ianto." she replied with a wider smirk. She closed her eyes and rolled her hips in a slow '8' shape. Ianto groaned and gripped her hips, lifting his arse off the sitting room floor. It occurred to him that they were in danger of anyone peeking through the curtains and seeing them, but as he thrust deeper and Michaela threw her head back, he stopped caring. He was close when Michaela let out a noise and growled.

"Oh for-"

She seized his wrists and pulled his hands up, planting them on her breasts, making him hold them somewhat steady. "You win." she told him, "I am putting a bra on after this."

Ianto laughed.

* * *

_(23__rd__ March 2009)_

The moon was so bright that night that they had left the curtains open, since they could see it from where they lay on the bed on their backs. His arm was behind her head, acting as a pillow, other hand twirling a piece of hair around his finger. Her knee was resting on his, toes rubbing against his ankle, while her fingers laced with his near her head. It was almost unnaturally quiet inside and outside the room, as if the world had stopped by the power of the huge, full moon.

"I can see the face." she murmured, staring out the window. "The man in the moon."

He looked up at the bright silvery orb and made a soft noise of agreement.

"Mare Imbrium, Mare Serenitatis, Sinus Aestuum, Mare Nubium and Mare Cognitum." he whispered.

"Clever boy." she teased, her voice soft.

"You taught me that." he reminded her.

"Did I?"

"Yup. You taught me everything about space. You'd let me look through Torchwood's telescope, let me see Saturn, and Jupiter."

"Yeah… I remember that. We'd spend the night just peering at stuff out there."

Ianto smiled, "You were really annoyed when they demoted Pluto."

"I felt bad for it. Poor little thing."

"At least now he's got lots of little friends. All those other dwarf planets it hangs around with."

She chuckled, squeezing his fingers. "True."

They were quiet for a while, admiring the moon.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked her.

"Sure."

"One of the first things I told Dr. Hamilton was that I couldn't help but compare Jack to Jupiter. The planet I mean. And how the rest of us are the moons around him."

"You're such a Ganymede." she murmured, her free hand rubbing over his stomach and resting next to his crotch. He did not so much as twitch, he was so calm, so relaxed. "Is Toshiko Europa?"

"Of course."

"Good. She's too pretty to be spewing Io, or pock-marked Callisto."

"Gwen and Owen respectively."

"Ha, you made Owen a girl."

"Yes. Yes I did."

"What about Archie?"

"He's Themisto."

"That name means 'belonging to the law'. Fits him a bit."

Ianto snorted, "You and names."

"Mmm…"

They were quiet again for a moment, before she asked him, almost inaudibly, as if she was afraid of the answer.

"What about me?"

"You? Well, at first I couldn't figure it out. But then I realised you weren't one of the moons."

"I wasn't?"

"No. You were the telescope."

"Telescope?"

"Yup. You showed me the universe. You showed me Torchwood. You led me to Owen and to Jack… and to Lisa."

She was quiet for a moment, just taking in Ianto's words. He hoped she had heard the gratitude in his voice. When she spoke, there was resignation in her voice,

"We're coming to the end of this, aren't we?"

Ianto sighed, tightening his hold on her fingers, "Yeah."

He felt her body ripple slightly as she swallowed hard, sounding a little choked as she whispered, "We knew this would happen."

"Yeah. I mean… it was only until… until the end."

"Of us?" She looked up at him, all wide-eyes and glowing pale skin in the moonlight. For a moment, she looked like Innocence.

"Of a part of us." said Ianto honestly. "But not the whole of us. We're more than just this."

"I know… but I feel safe like this. It's like, like we're frozen in a time bubble. No one can get to us. Not Blaine, not Ivor Jones, not our own demons, not anything, or anyone."

"But-"

"But that means you don't have Jack, and I don't have Andy… however much I actually have him really."

"I think I can safely say he does fancy you a lot."

"And Jack loves you."

"He loves you too."

"Just not the way he loves you."

"Yeah."

Rolling into him so she was half draped over his body, she wrapped an arm around his waist.

"I know this has to end. And a part of me wants to go out and actually try to make a life for myself. But…"

"But?"

"I don't want to lose this feeling. I'm safe with you. I spent so long wishing I could feel safe…"

She was on the verge of tears, Ianto could hear it in her voice. He wrapped his arms around her smaller body, holding her close.

"I'm not leaving you. And you know I'll do whatever I have to to keep you safe, and so will the others."

"I know that."

"And soon you will believe it too."

"And until then?"

"Well… if you feel scared, tell me. We can get through it together. Ok?"

"'kay…"

"Tomorrow we'll go back to our jobs."

"You saving the world and me keeping the bureaucrats off your backs."

"Is that ok?"

She considered the question carefully, rubbing his stomach slowly like she was trying to soothe a tummy-ache. When she answered, she sounded a little surprised.

"Yeah, actually. I kinda like dealing with that stuff. I mean… I feel like I can do it well, and more than that, I kinda feel like I'm the best of us at it. Maybe that's just crap but-"

"No trust me, you are. No one else wants the job, so no one else would be as good at it."

"And you're the best at sorting all the little details."

"And keeping the Hub running."

"So… shall we find a crater where it once was tomorrow?"

"…oh crap."

She giggled, the sound vibrating through his chest and making his heart expand. Then she let out a horrified gasp,

"Oh no!"

"What?"

Looking up at him with even wider eyes she exclaimed, "I was meant to be going to Dr. Hamilton!"

Ianto's own eyes widened to match hers, "Oh… fuck."

Michaela groaned and buried her face in his chest, "We are so dead!"

Ianto covered his eyes, "Yes, yes we are."

"She's not gonna be happy, and even less so when she finds out why we weren't going." Michaela giggled like a naughty child. The sound was infectious and Ianto started chuckling too. The sound bubbled through the room, filling it up and then fading away.

"We'll deal with her tomorrow." said Ianto, running his hand over her skin.

"Ok." she agreed, relaxing back into him, letting a contented noise. Ianto closed his eyes letting his body relax and his mind drift. Then, in the darkness, Michaela's soft voice called his name.

"Ianto…"

"Mmm?" he sighed sleepily.

"… I do love you."

Ianto opened his eyes, the moon bright against his retinas. He waited a moment to see if she would say anything more, but she said nothing, fingers idly tracing random patterns on his skin, feeling so relaxed she seemed to want to melt into him. Ianto smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you."

* * *

Only two more chapters to go.

Night's Darkness


	85. Chapter 81

Only one more chapter to go!

* * *

**Chapte****r 81**

_(24__th__ March 2009)_

Ianto selected a dark purple shirt and a pinstripe suit, with a matching waistcoat with a silk purple back. He took his time with each piece, revelling in the feel of the silk tie, the cotton shirt, even the leather of his shoes.

"You know… you do look good in a suit, but is it really worth it considering how quick they get damaged?" asked Michaela, walking up to him and taking his tie out of his hands so she could do it up. As she did Ianto was struck with a sense of déjà vu. Years ago, when he had been about to move to London, Michaela had insisted on sticking him into a new suit, and she had tied his tie for him that day as they struggled to get through the process, angry and hurting at one another. It seemed strangely appropriate today that she would do it again.

"I know, but I think it works for me."

"Well you don't look like a little kid trying to act like an adult anymore, so that helps." She pushed the knot of the tie up to his collar gently, smiling up at him as she smoothed down his lapels, "Suits you."

"Thanks." He dropped a kiss on her brow. "You look pretty."

"You think?"

"Yeah. I like your look. I figured you'd drop the suits considering what you did to the ones you had."

"Ah… yeah. That." Michaela flushed and looked down at her own clothes. She was wearing a pretty baby pink crochet dress over dark jeans, and a navy blazer over it, with flat boots. It suited her. While Ianto looked professional in a manner not unlike a body-guard come butler, she looked professional in a manner that made her look approachable, but not fragile. It suited both their roles in Torchwood. Ianto smoothed his hands over her shoulders, smiling at the fit of the blazer.

"Suits you." he said quietly.

"Thanks. I kinda feel… like I might look like myself." she said looking confused, "Does that make any sense?"

Ianto nodded and dropped another kiss on her brow.

"Yep, makes perfect sense."

She smiled, taking his hands and squeezing them. "Ready to go?"

Ianto nodded, inhaling deeply. He wasn't nervous, but he was aware of an importance of their arrival. They were going to be last to arrive, but Ianto was sure that was expected. His hope was that they would be able to just go in and start working. He was sure that wasn't the case, but it was his hope.

With Dubhtach safely in the boot, they drove to the Hub in an easy silence. Michaela switched on her phone as they went along, and groaned when she saw she had several texts and messages.

"Dr. Hamilton… Dr. Hamilton… Dr. Hamilton… Andy!" Her face lit up. "He wants to know if I want to go out later this week."

"And do you?"

Michaela flushed. "I dunno."

"You so do!"

"I… it's a proper date."

"And that's something you're against?"

"I… I dunno. Plus, seems a bit classless to say yes after what we-"

"Not really. That's different."

"Is that always going to be your excuse?"

"It's a once off. I mean, Jack's coming back with me tonight, whatever we're actually going to do, so why should you feel bad? You and Andy are just starting out."

"But…"

"Look, if you're nervous, maybe suggest a day time date, like a long lunch."

"Lunch?"

"Yeah, you know, that meal between brunch and linner?"

"You mean between elevenses and afternoon tea."

Ianto threw her a sardonic smirk. "My point is, keep it casual until you're ready for it to be more."

"But, he'll think I'm not interested, I mean, we kissed after the match for a bit, and then I went home with you… and now I'm to suggest keeping it casual?"

She was beginning to make Ianto's head hurt.

"Ok, quick question. Don't think, just answer. Do you like him?"

"Yes."

"Are you scared about getting in too deep too fast?"

"Yes."

"But you want to try?"

"Yes."

"Have you considered telling him?"

"Telling him?"

"Yeah, I mean, not everything, but… why don't you tell him that you need to take it slow?"

"But-"

"C'mon, you're not a teenager, and neither is he. Surely he'll listen and accept it."

"I… do you think he will?"

"He seems like a good guy."

"Yeah… he does."

Michaela was quiet the rest of the drive. Ianto found himself secretly glad he had Jack. So long as Jack had not changed his mind over the last couple of days.

Ianto frowned as the thought popped into his head. Surely Jack would not have changed his mind now. He couldn't have, could he? But what if he had? What if he had decided that he wasn't ok with what Michaela and Ianto had done? What if his words had been a test? A test that Ianto had failed. What if… what if Ianto had just blown everything they had worked for on three nights with Michaela?

And even if Jack was somehow still ok with this, if he had meant what he had said three days ago… what the hell did Owen think of it? Out of everyone, Owen had been the most vocal about not falling into bed with Michaela, saying over and over that they would not be helping themselves. Owen was probably fit to kill him by now. Oh God…

He parked in the Hub's car park with a sense of trepidation. He wished Michaela was still obsessing over Andy so he could be distracted by her worrying. With Dubhtach leading the way they walked into the Hub. Ianto suddenly had to focus on breathing. Either he would have to face an angry Owen, or a furious Jack. Either way he wanted nothing more than to run back home and get back into bed. The cogwheel rolled away, announcing their arrival at an extra loud volume. Ianto closed his eyes, his stomach twisting with nerves. Then a cool hand slipped into his, and he looked down. Michaela smiled up at him encouragingly.

"You can do this." she whispered. Then she walked into the Hub, Ianto following.

"Dia dhuit Archie." she called, bounding up the stairs and hanging her coat up. "Any word from UNIT?"

Archie folded his newspaper and set it aside as Ianto made his slower way up, feeling Owen's eyes on him. He wished he could ignore it the way Michaela was ignoring Gwen's beady eyes.

"They're mightily pissed that we're not giving them the Heisenberg Compensator. I said you'd talk to them when you had a chance."

"Cool, give me the phone."

Archie passed the work mobile to her and she started dialling. "Anything else before I make the call?"

"Not really, they're pretty fixated on it. And the Rift was quiet for the last few days, just like Toshiko's program predicted."

"Grand so." Michaela put the phone to her ear and caught Ianto's eye, "Any chance of a coffee? –Yes, hello General Oduya!"

"Yup." said Ianto, hurrying to hang up his coat and move to the machine as Michaela walked away, listening to the general. He lost himself in the motions of making the coffee, but was very aware of Owen walking up behind him and staring at his neck.

"So… you're just gonna act like nothing happened?" he asked at last.

"No. It wasn't a secret."

"True." said Owen. Ianto didn't have to turn around to know that Owen's eyes were slits as he stared at him. "So… you don't condone cheating, you just practise it."

"Wasn't cheating, Jack was the one who said it was ok."

"Oh, well if Jack said it was ok-"

Ianto sighed and turned around, glaring at Owen, "What do you want?"

"I want you to explain to me how having a fuck-fest with someone as unstable as Michaela could have possibly seemed like a good idea." growled Owen, "I've had Dr. Hamilton calling me up demanding to know why we had allowed it."

"We're not children."

"No, but you're not declared fully sound. It's why you're not allowed handle a gun yet. And as for her, she left Providence because she could, not because she should."

"Hey!" Ianto grabbed the front of Owen's shirt and pulled him close, "I get it, you're worried. But don't you dare say she was better off in that hospital. In Providence she was like a zombie, but now… look at her."

He released Owen's shirt and Owen glanced behind him at Michaela who was standing outside the hot house, leaning against the railing as she argued with the general. Her eyes were sparkling the way Tosh's did when she encountered a delightful problem, the way Gwen's did when they saved a life, the way Ianto's lit up when he provided an answer no one else could. It was that delight in what she was doing.

"Ok, yes, I see it. But…"

"Owen!" Ianto reached out and grabbed Owen's head, holding it tight in his palms. "I know, it could blow up in our faces, but so could ignoring it. It's done and I feel better than I have in months. I feel like I can focus on being her friend and Jack's lover and your brother, in that clear distinction. So… yes, we didn't do what we were told… but tell me we're worse for it."

Owen glared at him for a long moment, then Ianto felt him relenting. He smiled at his big brother, "Just relax Owen, it's fine."

"Get off me teaboy." he growled, pushing Ianto off. But his lips were twitching in a smile that told Ianto he was no longer as angry as he had been. "And Dr. Hamilton is looking for you. Better call her."

Ianto groaned, "Can't you-"

"Fuck no. She's your shrink. And you'd better have been taking your meds."

"We both were, like clockwork." said Ianto honestly.

"Well… good." grunted Owen, nodding his head. "Now make me some coffee."

Ianto raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you think I'm doing?"

"Being a tosser." said Owen at once, walking away. Ianto could hear Archie sniggering behind his newspaper, as he repressed his own laughter, turning back to the coffee machine. He made everyone's favourite drink and started passing them around.

"Thanks Ianto." said Toshiko, smiling up at him, not asking him any questions.

"Oh, thanks love." said Gwen in that way she did which made it clear she was waiting for him to explain himself.

"You're welcome Gwen." said Ianto brightly, turning away and giving Archie his tea.

"Thanks." grunted Owen as his coffee was placed on his desk. He looked like he was drowning in paperwork. Ianto sighed,

"I'll help you when I'm done with this, eh?"

Owen looked up at him in surprise, then smiled, "Cheers."

Ianto returned the smile, then went up to Michaela, giving her her coffee. She mouthed her thanks as she listened to what sounded like an irate General Oduya. As Ianto walked away, he heard her say,

"No General, Martha Jones will not make us anymore inclined to help you. Captain Harkness was more than clear about this!"

Smirking to himself as he recalled the tall, broad man that was General Oduya and imagined his irritation at being told off by the smaller Michaela. His smirk fell as he reached Jack's office and he wondered if he should knock. But he decided against it and entered the room, giving Jack a chance to speak.

Jack looked up from his paperwork to see him standing there. And smiled.

"Hey there stranger."

Surprised, Ianto snorted, "You are so corny."

Jack smirked and spread his hands, "All part of the charm."

"I'll give you that." chuckled Ianto, setting the coffee on the desk. He then walked around and perched on the edge of the desk. Jack leaned back in his seat and looked up into his face. Ianto thought he could detect a hint of nervousness in his expression.

"So…" said Jack, "How was it?"

Ianto knew better than to think Jack was asking about the sex itself. Inhaling deeply he looked at the wall as he considered his answer.

"Really nice." he said at last.

"Nice?"

"Yeah, it… it felt right."

"Right?" Ianto looked at Jack. Jack's smile was looking a little forced now. Ianto smiled.

"Yeah. It felt right. But… when we weren't having sex… I did find myself missing you. I was happy, but I missed you."

"You did?" asked Jack, smile relaxing and a tinge of hope coming into his voice.

"Yeah, yeah I did miss you."

Jack's hand slid onto Ianto's knee, squeezing in a reaffirming way. There was nothing sexual about the touch, but Ianto's smile widened.

"I missed you too." Jack admitted quietly. Ianto covered his hand and Jack turned his over so their fingers could link. "Didn't expect you to be gone for three nights."

"Yeah… I guess we had more in our system than we realised."

Jack nodded in understanding, glancing outside and grinning, "Well she certainly seems to have benefited from it."

Ianto looked around. Michaela was off the phone and talking to Toshiko, the two women smiling as they discussed something on the computer. Archie was watching them like an amused grandfather. Ianto smiled and looked at Jack again,

"We both did."

"You do look happier." said Jack carefully.

"Because now I just want to be her friend… her close friend, but not her lover. That… that's you. Besides which, she fancies Andy Davidson's pants off."

"Oh yeah?" asked Jack looking intrigued. "Did she say as much?"

"Doesn't need to. She's already planning to go on a date with him –just worries about looking classless."

Jack snorted, "Oh 21st century relationships. Made so complicated by perceived 'appropriate' timing."

Ianto rolled his eyes, "Jack, you've lived in this sort of world longer than me and 'kaela put together."

"Are you calling me old?"

"I'm calling you ridiculous." smiled Ianto, leaning down as he cupped Jack's jaw and kissing him gently. Jack's tongue slipped out and licked Ianto's lower lip once before withdrawing and sealing their lips together with metal-melting heat. Ianto buried his fingers in Jack's hair and pulled back, pressing a soft kiss to the bridge of Jack's nose, lips lingering there as he inhaled the scent of Jack's pheromones. Jack's hands squeezed his arms in a steadying grip. They rested their foreheads against each other. Ianto's lips pulled up into a happy smile, eyes closed as he enjoyed just being with Jack again.

"I gotta admit, I was a little nervous." whispered Jack, "What if you two realised…"

"Never gonna happen." said Ianto quietly, "I figured that out after the first time. I knew we needed to do it, but I realised it was more of a… a letting go. So we could exist in the now. And our nows have different people in them."

"Thank God." sighed Jack, relaxing fully in Ianto's hands.

A knock on the door made them pull apart. It was Michaela, looking a little embarrassed at having disturbed them. But she smiled as she jerked her thumb over her shoulder,

"Rift's gone off. Time to go save the world lads."

"Or pick up the newest Rift deposited sock." said Archie from the couch.

He was still reading his newspaper.

* * *

Coming up on Saturday, the final chapter of Tear-Filled Trails of Blood…

Night's Darkness


	86. Chapter 82

**Chapter 82**

_(24__th__ April 2009)_

"Owen for the last and final time will you clean up after yourself?"

"Fuck off Ianto, I don't need you nagging me."

"I mean it Owen, I am sick and tired of you leaving coffee mugs to grow new life, and putting your alien samples next to the sandwiches."

"Owen!" squawked Gwen.

"I did it once! My fridge was too small to hold them all."

"Oh… remind me never to eat from that fridge again. I feel sick enough as it is." said Michaela, rubbing her stomach. Archie chuckled next to her.

"Ah for the days when we thought eating alien exposed food would get you longer lasting erections."

As one the others looked around to stare at him. He shrugged,

"Radon infused condoms were all the range when the stuff was discovered, until dicks started falling off, are you surprised we thought aliens stuff could do better?"

"Ah, sex, the one constant in the universe."

"Actually-"

"Jack if you start talking about the kinky sex games of asexual creatures I will throw this donut at you!"

"And I would eat it, how is this bad for me?"

Gwen threw a pen at him, hitting him squarely on the forehead. Dubhtach sauntered out from under Michaela's feet and picked up the pen from the floor with her teeth, returning it to Gwen, who accepted it with a grin.

"I love this dog." she said, scratching Dubhtach's ears. Dubhtach wagged her tail with pride before returning to her place at Michaela's feet.

"So, anyway, as I was saying, Owen, you need to start clearing up after yourself."

"Make me!"

"If he doesn't I will." said Jack.

"No fair, just because you're shagging him." complained Owen, sulking. Ianto smirked and whacked Owen's arm with a file. "Ow! Tosh, he hit me!"

"Boys play nice or I'll ground you both." said Toshiko absently as she stared at the screen. Jack, Archie, Gwen and Michaela all sniggered at the affronted look on both men's faces. Ianto sighed and shook his head,

"I mean it Owen."

Owen maturely stuck his tongue out at Ianto.

"If I ever did that to my sister, my mum would've cut my tongue out." said Archie, staring at something on the laptop on his knee.

"Your mother was a Catholic, of course she would have, but not before making you say three rosaries." said Michaela.

"What do you think she was, Rose Kennedy?" asked Archie raising his eyebrows.

"Who now?" asked Gwen.

"JFK's mum." said Ianto at once, "Rose Elizabeth Kennedy. Quite possibly the most luckless mother on earth."

"Oh?"

"Two son's assassinated, John F. and Robert F., two children died in airplane crashes, one daughter born with some sort of mental handicap, possibly autism, was given a lobotomy and spent the rest of her life in a state of incapacitation. And that was before she died."

"Cheerful as ever Ianto." sighed Owen.

"I always wondered why there was a 'Kennedy curse'." said Gwen thoughtfully, "I didn't realise there were more than just JFK's death."

"JFK's own son crashed in an airplane." said Ianto, "Two of Robert's died by overdose and skiing accident."

"Can we please stop talking about dying children?" asked Michaela with a grimace. Ianto threw her an apologetic look and said,

"I'll go make coffee."

"Great, can you bring it to the boardroom? Meeting in ten people, bring your plans for the organisation's future with you. Archie?" said Jack, jumping up from his chair. Archie grunted and set the laptop aside, getting to his feet and following Jack into his office.

"Fuck, what did I do with my file?" demanded Owen as he scanned his desk. "Ianto help!"

Ianto looked up from the machine with a long suffering expression on his face.

"Check the top right drawer."

Owen pulled it open and lifted out the thick folder, "Oh thank Christ."

"Wow, you've been busy." Gwen said, eyeing her own thin folder.

"Yeah well… my department. Want it to work the way I like, yeah?"

Gwen nodded in understanding as Toshiko walked by them, laptop in her arms. Dubhtach got to her paws and walked after Michaela, who had a quick word with Ianto before hurrying on in. As they all sat down, Ianto came in with his silver tray bearing their coffees. He passed around the coffees in the boardroom. He caught Michaela's eye and she nodded at Owen, widening her eyes. Ianto swallowed and nodded. As he gave him his coffee, he leaned closer and whispered,

"Hey, can we grab a drink tonight. I need to talk to you."

Owen blinked up at him, then nodded, continuing to chew on his pen. Michaela regarded the action with distaste as they waited for Archie and Jack to arrive for the meeting.

"One of these days that pen will blow up and you'll have a blue tongue." she warned, sipping on her tea.

"And then I shall wash it off and not care." said Owen, shrugging.

"I dunno, Tosh, would you like to snog someone with a blue tongue?" asked Gwen, grinning. Toshiko blushed but smiled,

"No, not really."

"And it can take a while for that ink to fade away." said Ianto, sitting next to his brother. Owen glanced around, then down at the pen, finally setting it down.

"I hate you all." he grumbled.

"Then I guess I should cancel our date tomorrow then." quipped Tosh. Before Owen could protest, Jack and Archie came into the room and took their seats.

"Ok, lets get started." said Jack, "I asked you last month to think of something that would help us in improving Torchwood. Lets see what you've got."

"Well, in terms of the Archives, Michaela and I have been thinking that maybe we should look into a bit of a mixing up." said Ianto, hoping Jack would not notice his preoccupation.

"In what way?"

"We need to decide what we're going to do with all the really sensitive stuff in Torchwood House." explained Michaela, "Either we keep it there but maybe up security as some of the tech protecting it is getting old, or we bring it to the Hub."

"Its hard to know which is better." said Ianto, "Having it on site will make the Hub more of a target, but then again, if someone attacked the House, we'd have to travel to get to it."

"Unless we hire a special team who specialise in Archiving and Security. Like some Swiss bankers." said Michaela, smirking into her tea.

Jack smiled at the joke. "Well… why don't we look into something like that."

"Huh?"

"The Swiss operate under a practise of bank secrecy, which dates back to the Middle Ages. The idea is that no one can know what is being hidden. That's exactly what we're looking at. We want only the highest of authorities to know what the Archives really contain."

"You and Archie." said Ianto.

"And you and Michaela." said Archie.

"Us?" repeated Michaela, looking around.

"Yes. Jack and I have been talking and we've decided that it's high time we made things more efficient and clearer in this organisation. So we're gonna draw up a new constitution, formalising each of your roles. Ianto, since you're also a field agent, we're going to make Michaela the official Head of the Archives, but unofficially you're equals."

"Um… ok."

"Owen, we're going to make you Medical Chief, which will mean you're going to be the head of both human and alien biological issues."

"Do I get a bigger pay-check?"

"Toshiko, you're going to be the Chief Technical Supervisor."

Toshiko nodded, wide eyed.

"Gwen, you'll be the Public Relations Officer. I want you to start taking over Ianto's roles in the cover ups, he can help you with the more difficult stuff."

Ianto looked at Gwen in some alarm, but she nodded, looking determined to prove herself. It reminded Ianto that while he had been dealing with his own need to prove himself, Gwen too was looking for redemption for her abuses.

"What this means is that each of you will be put in charge of a department, and each of you will be in charge of new people. We're going to branch out."

"What about the loss of humanity you were worried about?" asked Gwen, twisting her engagement ring.

"We know that is a risk, but you guys can't keep going the way you are. None of you have time to really enjoy what you're trying to save. So we're going to look into gaining each of you at least two helpers, ones you can select yourselves and train up."

"What would I train them in?" asked Ianto, feeling uneasy. If Michaela was taking over the Archives, and Gwen the Public Relations, where did that leave him?

"You are going to be the Head Field Officer. You'll be training people in retrieval and handling alien tech and creatures."

"Me?"

"Yes you!" chuckled Jack.

"And what about you two?" asked Owen, looking very uncomfortable. He was not sure he liked the idea of this.

"Archie and I have been debating about this, and we've decided that we will remain as co-commanders if you will."

"Two leaders?"

"Aye, but with very different purposes." explained Archie, "I'll be working with Michaela and Gwen, focusing on the interactions with other organisations, dealing with the more 'human' elements shall we say? And Jack will be in charge of defence, because, as a certain Irish woman said a few months ago, he knows when not to shoot an alien's head off."

"But what if we get into trouble, like an alien invasion?"

"Then I will take command." said Jack, nodding to Archie, who returned the gesture. "You will all answer to me."

"Lets face it people, he's a better choice in those situations. For one, he's a faster runner than me." said Archie, making Michaela snort.

"So… what about the deal we made with UNIT? About Toshiko being the second in command." asked Gwen.

"If Archie and I are taken out, Toshiko is to take command. Tech will be vital in such a situation, since weapons will be put under that. Ianto will be your second as the weapons and field expert." said Jack.

"Th-That all sounds reasonable Jack, but Ianto hasn't been cleared to use a gun by Dr. Hamilton yet and neither have I." said Michaela, throwing him an apologetic look.

"Plus, is this really the best time to be doing this? After so much upheaval?" asked Gwen, throwing Ianto and Michaela a surreptitious look.

"Yes. The first reason being that this will take time. I'm confident that by the time we're up and running this way, Ianto will be more than ready." said Jack, looking at Ianto, who felt his face heat up at the confidence in his voice.

"If you already had all this planned, why did you get us to plan anything?" demanded Owen, holding up a collection of sheets from his files.

"Because you'll be in charge of your department, you will decide how it will be run. And we want you to be as involved as possible in how this organisation is rebuilt. Nothing, not even what we have just said, will be done, if you aren't in agreement with it."

The members of Torchwood looked at one another, nerves and potential reflected in each others' faces. Finally, Toshiko took a deep breath and said,

"I suppose we'll need to discuss it further before we make any life changing decisions."

Ianto's eyes widened and he glanced at Michaela who shrugged. Meanwhile, Owen start asking questions about his pay-check and how much freedom he would have about picking his own team. It was only when he glanced at Toshiko's narrowed eyes, that he realised he should probably have not asked if he could have the hottest employees in his department. He was going to have to do some grovelling, for certain.

"The Hub isn't that big Jack." said Gwen carefully when Owen was satisfied. "We'd need something bigger to… to fit all these proposed people in."

"If we build a skyscraper it'll be too like One. UNIT will go nuts, and so will a lot of other organisations." said Archie in a warning.

"Plus we'd never get away with building it on the Plass."

"The Hub is huge, but it's all underground." said Michaela slowly. "The tunnels filter down, but also out."

"Yeah."

"Isn't there a tunnel that goes out into the more remote parts of the city? Where the docks are?"

"Yes, they were built so the Hub could have a secondary port."

"Why couldn't we build an extension there? Have a low, wide building, not a skyscraper. We can claim it's a research facility."

"I suppose it depends on how secret do we want to be. Let's face it, up until now its been less a case of us keeping a secret and more Cardiff people will do whatever they must to not be bothered by the weird shit." said Archie.

"We need to keep it a secret. Alien acknowledgment is a while away still." said Jack without preamble.

"Then we need a secondary facility that's not on top of the Plass."

"But still easily accessed through the tunnels."

"Ok, Gwen, can you and Archie start scouting for good locations that we could build a secondary building? Can the rest of you draw up what you'll need so we have an idea of how big an area we will need."

They nodded.

"Ok, Toshiko, your plans?"

* * *

After hours of discussions, and promises to make it up to Toshiko, Owen found himself in a pub with his younger brother.

"So, what do you think of Jack and Archie's big plans for the place?" he asked, setting a beer down in front of Ianto.

"Um… seems ambitious. We're gonna have to see how we go." said Ianto distractedly.

"Uh uh…" Owen gave Ianto a beady look, "Ok, spill!"

"What?"

"You have been acting all weird today! Shifty, nervous, like your world has shifted on its head. You're getting on my nerves! What the fuck have you done now?"

"… Straight to the point as ever Owen."

"Don't bullshit about Ianto. Now tell me what's up."

"Ok… ok." Ianto took a deep breath, and was about to speak, but Owen cut across him as an idea popped into his head,

"Oh God, you're not gonna ask Harkness to marry you, are you?"

"No! Nothing like that!" Ianto actually laughed.

"Oh thank god. So wasn't ready to see Jack in a dress."

Ianto threw a coaster at him. "Piss off."

"So come on, what is it?"

"Ok, here it is…" Ianto licked his lips and looked very sheepish suddenly. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Ok… what?"

"Could you not, erm, drink around New Years this year?"

"…ok, why?"

Ianto smiled sheepishly. "Weeelll…. I'd really hate for you to be forever known as 'Drunk Uncle Owen'."

"Drunk Unc –what the fuck are you talking about?"

Ianto spread his hands and gave him a helpless smile, "Erm…"

Owen's eyes widened as he understood. "Oh… oh fuck."

"Yep."

Owen glanced at his beer and then up at his brother. "We're gonna need something much, much stronger for this conversation."

**The End**


	87. Trailer for Salvation's Tears and AN

**Trailer for Salvation's Tears.**

Owen and Ianto have finally reconciled their differences and accepted one another as true brothers. But when Owen is in an accident, and a Torchwood member is lost, can Ianto hold it together for the sake of his brother? Can Owen be strong enough to hold on for Ianto? And can Torchwood handle yet more turmoil as it tries to change with the times?

"_Neither of you are ready to be parents, can't you see that?"_

"_Owen, you cannot just lie there, or you may as well be dead!"_

"_I'd rather be dead than like this! I am broken Tosh!"_

"_I want her back!"_

"_She's dead Ianto."_

"_Owen, I'm trying to help you."_

"_Well I never asked for your help Ianto!"_

"_Mam would have wanted-"_

"_Mum is dead, Ianto." _

"_But dad-"_

"_You didn't know dad, so don't act like you did!_

"_You think I'm an idiot, just like the rest of your lot. Think you can string me along while you shag someone else?"_

"_It isn't like that, I swear." _

"_Being a dad was supposed to be my chance."_

"_Jack, I can't lose Owen too." _

"_I did what I had to to help you, I couldn't have done anymore! What would you have expected me to do?"_

"_I'd have expected you to die, John!"_

"_How could this have happened Gwen? How could you let this happen?"_

"_Rhys I'm sorry!"_

"_Gray, please, for the love of God you have to stop this…"_

"_No, I don't have to do anything you tell me Jack."_

"_But-"_

"_You see Jack, I am going to destroy your world. I'm going to go into it and tear it apart from the inside. Break those you love like those monsters broke me. And there'll be nothing you can do about it." _

"_There's no choice Jack. There is not even a consideration of doing anything else. This is all here is."_

"_Do you even like Andy anymore?"_

"_What difference does that make?"_

"_I'm so sorry."_

"_Sorry for what? It wasn't your baby?"_

"_What's the point of being here, Tosh, if I can't do anything and everyone treats me like I'm made of glass?" _

"_Owen!"_

"_Ianto…"_

"_Owen, please don't, please don't go. I need you to hang on, please!"_

"_Ianto…" _

"_OWEN!"_

Coming soon to a fanfiction site near you…

* * *

A/N: I started this fic in 2007, when a certain estarcollector offered up a simple prompt. 'Owen and Ianto are brothers'. I read through a few of the fics that popped up after the prompt was offered and decided to try it myself. So off I went with Tear-Filled Trails of Blood (Oh how I now regret that ridiculous title), intending to have it be about 10 chapters long, containing the tale within the idea of Ivor Jones and Owen getting back at him for what he did to Ianto. Never in my wildest imaginings did I think this story would become what it did –I'm sure if you're reading this I have no need to remind you of what it is like, lol.

This fic is, in total, 270, 197 words. It has 82 chapters, (or 87 if you count the ones I split up as separate), and is the most ambitious fic I have ever done. It has, quite literally, outdone and outshone every other fic I have ever written. That is not to say it is the best written, the best plotted, or anything like that. But it certainly was a challenge, and a lot of fun. I am proud of this fic, although if I ever go back to it (which will not be any time soon), knowing what I know now about how it pans out I'd probably change pieces to better fit it all together. But then again, I may leave it as a kind of showing how much I changed and grew as a writer over time, if only for myself. Before Tears I'd never have had the guts to include Michaela, and whether you liked her or hated her, it was a very important step for me to put her in there as my own creation.

So, I am really happy with this achievement and I want to thank every single person who came along for the insane ride with me. I really appreciated everything that was said to me about it, from saying that you liked it, to more in depth thoughts, even when they were not the most positive. I appreciated it every time that you took the time to say something about this fic. So, finally, and before I collapse into a nervous wreak of exhaustion, I simply wish to say, Thank You All So Much!

Slainte!

Night's Darkness


End file.
